Designing Women (1986–1993): Season 3, Episode 19 - The Women of Atlanta - full transcript

♪♪ [theme]

You know, I was
just noticing here

that my cookie box
happens to be empty again.

Of course I wouldn't mind

if somebody would just
come right out and ask

instead of stealing them
every time I leave the room.

Somebody who
has a big cookie wad

on her face right now.

Uh-huh. I knew it.

Suzanne, if you want
one of my cookies,

why don't you just ask?



What should I do that for?

I've been getting as many
as I want without asking.

Don't try to reason
with her, Anthony.

Suzanne does not understand
the concept of fairness.

She only understands
punishment and reward.

If you don't want her to
eat any more of her cookies,

I suggest you put a
little mousetrap in there.

Let it snap on her hand once.

I guarantee she'll
get the point.

Y'all are never gonna
believe what just happened.

Mary Jo and I are
sitting there eating lunch,

and Tommy Abbington, you
know, from the Design Center,

comes over, and he introduces us

to this friend of his,



DeWitt Chiles from Los Angeles.

Well, it turns out

DeWitt is this real well
known photographer.

He used to shoot
a lot of layouts

for the Design Center in L.A.
when Tommy worked out there.

He's here in town now

doing a pictorial essay
on the women of Atlanta

for this new men's
magazine called Empire.

It's kind of like GQ or Esquire,

only a lot more romantic.

Now he wants to do us.

What do you mean, do us?

Well, he wants to photograph us

for the magazine.

When Tommy told
him we were decorators,

he got real excited.

I had to get my billfold out

and show him a
picture of you two.

What did he say about me?

He said you looked nice.

Nice? That's it? Nice?

This guy's supposed
to be professional?

Well, Suzanne, he couldn't
see you real good, okay?

It was that picture
of you and Julia

standing in front of the
reptile house at the zoo.

Charlene, I cannot believe
you showed him that.

Don't you have any more
of those 8x10s I gave you?

Why would he be
interested in us?

Because they're doing a
salute to the New South

and "The Women of
Atlanta" is just one part of it.

Oh, come on. I know
professional photographers,

and they never go around
looking for women over 25.

Well, DeWitt does.

They want to shoot
women of all kinds,

you know, so
it'll look authentic,

as long as they're,
you know, attractive.

Why do they have
to be attractive?

[Mary Jo] That's what I said.

What do you mean,

why do they have
to be attractive?

They have to be attractive

because who wants
to look at ugly women?

Well, I wouldn't worry
about it too much.

I mean, Tommy let it slip

that DeWitt's also photographing

some of the other decorators
over at the Design Center,

I mean, so, you know,
even if he did photograph us,

it doesn't mean that
we'd be in the magazine.

Well, Charlene, I don't
want to rain on your parade,

but if you and Mary Jo
and Suzanne want to do this,

have at it.

It's not something that
I would be interested in.

Julia, I can't believe this.

This is the opportunity
of a lifetime.

I mean, it's completely legit.

I kind if agree with Julia.

I mean, there's just
something about it

that just doesn't sound right.

But he's shot pictures for
every magazine you can name.

I know. It's just...
I don't know.

Something about the title,
"The Women of Atlanta"...

- It just sounds like...
- What?

Well, I mean, they
usually feature women

from the same geographical
location, you know,

and they photograph them
at home or at the office,

and they always have
some girl named Karin...

Spells her name K-A-R-I-N...

And they show her studying
for her local junior college,

and she'll have her books
spread all around her,

except she won't
have any clothes on

except knee socks
and a little red tam.

I mean, like that's the way

I always study for my exams.

Or they'll have some, you know,

enterprising nymphet
named Chardonnay

who's starting up
a catering business,

and they'll show her
slaving over a hot stove

with nothing but a silk
teddy and high heels on.

I mean, like doesn't
everybody cook dinner that way?

Or they'll have just a
simple housewife named Lois

who's, you know, laying
on the laundry room floor

having a real good time
while her clothes dry.

Not only do they look stupid,

but do these women
really get any work done?

Well, I'm sure
it's not like that.

Anyway, it would
be great publicity.

Julia, just think...

Sugarbaker's in a
national magazine.

I have to admit I
wouldn't mind that,

but how could we be sure

Sugarbaker's would
even get mentioned?

Because he's going
to shoot us here.

We are decorators.
That's the whole point.

Well, I have to admit

I wouldn't mind
beating out Rita Beavers

and those other people
at the Design Center.

I mean, they are
always so snotty to us.

DeWitt did say you have
a great bone structure.

He did.

Who, Mary Jo?

Oh, yeah. He loved her face.

Well, please, I guess so

when you've got me out there

in front of the reptile house.

Suzanne, you'll have your chance

when he gets here tomorrow.

All I'm saying is this
better not turn out

to be any kind of cheesecake

because I just don't
do cheesecake.

I eat it, but I don't do it.

I decided to join
the I Love Lucy Club.

The first cassette
they sent was that one

where Lucy and Ethel
are in the candy factory

on the assembly line

and starts going
too fast, remember?

And she... I love that!

I can't believe it.

I'm sorry.

I forget everybody
doesn't like them

as much as I do.

Are you kidding? We love Lucy.

That's right. We
love Ethel, too.

As a matter of fact,

I wouldn't mind watching
some of those myself.

You're kidding me.
I can't believe that.

That's so unlike you.

I'd be happy to watch
the Lucy reruns with you.

But I'm still not posing
for that magazine.

Julia, I knew you
were up to something.

I thought we'd covered
all that yesterday.

I never said I'd do it.

If you need me, I'll
be in the store room.

Mary Jo, you're still
going to do it, aren't you?

I don't know.

I guess so.

I know Suzanne's going to

because she was calling me
all night about what to wear.

I think she's
going for the cover.

Yeah, well, at least she
didn't call you to come over.

I had to wax her legs.

Anthony, you went over
there last night and did that?

Well, yeah, Charlene, I had to.

She called me crying.

Consuela got the wax
too hot and burned her.

You and Suzanne really have

your own little secret
life going, don't you?

You know, we do.

I can't explain it,
but for some reason,

she thinks of me
as her girl friend.

So, Charlene, what
did you tell her to wear?

Well, I told her we were just
supposed to be working women...

You know, wear normal clothes.

She doesn't have
any normal clothes.

Suzanne, I can't
believe you wore that.

What? This old thing?

It's just something I'm
having altered today.

I would have folded it up
and put it in a plastic bag,

but, you know, that
makes the sequins fall off.

Well, Anthony,
what do you think?

Well, I don't know that
much about sequins,

but I guess they could
make them fall off.

Suzanne, if we are
in this magazine,

that's just going to
make us look stupid.

Nobody comes to
work dressed like that.

And that, Charlene,

is part of what is
wrong with this world.

People don't have
any pride anymore.

Suzanne, no one ever
came to work like that.

Okay, so I felt like
dressing up a little,

all right?

Not funny.

So, what time's this
Dimwit person get here?

10:00, and his name is DeWitt.

I don't know what
he's going to say

if Julia doesn't do it, too.

She's going to hurt our chances.

Anyway, we're
supposed to act natural,

be ourselves.
That's what he said.

It's going to be pretty hard,

standing next to
Queen Elizabeth.

Is anybody home?

[Charlene] Oh, hi. We've
been expecting you.

Um, how do you
do? It's Estelle, right?

Right.

Darlene, good seeing you again.

You look great.

Well, actually, my
name's Charlene.

DeWitt, there's a
couple of people

I wanted you to meet.

Oh, hi. Hi. Nice to meet you.

Actually, you met Mary
Jo yesterday, remember?

Great bone structure?

Right, right.
Never forget a face.

And this is Suzanne Sugarbaker.

- Hi.
- Hello.

And I'd like you to meet
one of our other co-workers,

- Anthony Bouvier.
- How's it going?

Right on, bro.

Okay.

So, nice setup
here, babe. I like this.

The atrium. Uh-huh, uh-huh.

Love the atrium. Oh, yeah. Good.

Beautiful light. I
love the light here.

Uh-huh. Okay. I think we can make
something wonderful happen here.

It's going to be terrific.

So who do we start with?

Well, I thought we could
start with Mary Jo or Suzanne.

Good. Mary Jo. Now, who is that?

You know. Uh, great bones?

Right, right.

That's nice, but this one...

This one, she is
knocking me out here.

I love this.

What?

What? Like you don't know

that you're
throwing it out there?

Come on, listen. I want
to tell you something.

I want you to understand this.

You have a very
nice sensual quality.

It's... It's an aura,

an aura of sexuality in repose.

[Anthony] I'm out of here.

That reminds me,
I promised Julia

I'd fertilize the
shrubs out front.

If you need me, just holler.

[Mary Jo] All right.

Estelle, do you see this?

Is this Vivien Leigh?

Oh, yeah, right. Incredible.

You know, usually,
I get Vivien Leigh.

Well, I have gotten that
once or twice before.

I mean, you know,

especially when
my hair was shorter.

Yeah, that's terrific.
You, come here, you.

We are definitely

going to have to
spend some time on this

because you have
a fantastic face.

I know.

Well, why are
you covering it up?

Oh, fantastic eyes.

Here, here. Whose
eyes are these?

Elizabeth Taylor.

I know because I shot
her once in Puerto Vallarta.

Estelle, do you see these eyes?

Yeah, right, fantastic.

Do you do your own
make-up, Susan?

It's Suzanne, and yes, I do.

Okay, we're going to
have to tone that down.

And, of course, the
dress... No, that's out.

I beg your pardon?

We have some things
you're going to love...

Very soft, very feminine.

You mean you brought
stuff for us to wear?

We have some great
stuff out in the van,

some of it you can't have

because we used it at City Hall.

Estelle, Estelle,
could you see Darlene

in the black jumpsuit?
Would that be dynamite?

Yeah, right. Dynamite.

Hello. Excuse me. Have we met?

Uh, no, DeWitt.

Actually, this is our other
partner, Julia Sugarbaker.

How do you do?

Now, this is class.

This is worth waiting for.

I beg your pardon?

I love this.

Estelle, do you see this?

This is what you call classy.

Greco-Roman, finely
chiseled elegance.

Is this fantastic or what?

Mm. I'm trembling.

You know, as a photographer,

you don't come
across this very often...

Your Katharine Hepburns,

your Anne Bancrofts,
your Lena Hornes...

But when you do,
it knocks you out

because, you know,
it is just so exquisite.

Uh, DeWitt, Julia
isn't sure that she...

Charlene, I can
speak for myself.

Your wish is my command.

Well, where do we get set up?

Beautiful, babe.
Okay. Love it, love it.

Okay. Now hint of a
smile. Hint of a smile.

No, no. Too much, too
much. There. Beautiful.

One more like that. There we go.

Yes. All right.
That was beautiful.

Now let's take this
chair, bring it over here,

and why don't we
just turn it around?

And why don't you
just sort of straddle it

like this, okay?

Y-Y-You want me
to straddle this chair?

I usually wouldn't
sit that way at work.

Trust me. It's just a
casual look I'm after, okay?

Well, I don't usually dress
like this at work, either.

I mean, this looks
like something

that Bo Derek washed
up on the sand in.

Where is Julia?

She's upstairs looking
for a man's shirt.

Estelle, I also wanted
her in the pearl necklace.

- Did you get that?
- Right.

Don't you think that I
should have shoes on?

I mean, I don't even
know a decorator

that doesn't wear shoes.

No way, babe, please.

See, what I'm after
here is a softness,

and you... you
exude that, you know,

and so I don't want anything
to compete with that, okay?

I can't get over these pictures

of Joan Collins and Donna Mills.

You've made them
look even more gorgeous

than they really are.

Mary Jo, did you see these?

Yeah, I saw those.

You know, my mother
taught me never to sit like this.

But then my mother
never really cared

about my sensuality.

Mothers are like that.

What is that?

Just a little moisture.

Are you kidding? I would
never come to work wet.

Big smile. Uh-huh.
Good. Good. Love it. Yes.

You're the All-American
Girl. Good, good. I love it.

All right. Now
somebody's come in.

You haven't seen
him in a long time.

You see him. Hello!
Yes! You're seeing him.

Beautiful. One more. Yes.

- Do you see this, Estelle.
- Yeah. It's fantastic.

This isn't what I thought.

I don't think we're going
to look like decorators.

- That's beautiful.
- No.

I don't like this
outfit very much.

I look like Little Bo Peep.

I wasn't going to say anything,

but you do kind of look like...

the girlfriend of a shepherd.

Let's sit back in the chair.

And, uh, out your
hands behind your head

like you're daydreaming.

Okay, but still ready
to answer that phone.

I would never answer the phone
with my hands behind my head.

I know that, Darlene.

It's an attitude of daydreaming,

but still very competent.

We don't want you
to look like a bimbo.

Well, my name's Charlene.

Okay, let's just
lower the zipper

- just a little bit.
- No, no, I don't think so.

See, I'm getting a
reflection off the metal, so...

Oh. Well, okay, but that's it.

I can't believe it.

Whose I Love Lucy
tapes are these?

- They're mine.
- Where did you get these?

I would kill for these!

That's my favorite
show in the whole world!

I just joined the I Love
Lucy Video Fan Club.

Oh, look at this!
Oh, I don't believe it!

This is the one where
Lucy's nose catches on fire

- with William Holden!
- I love that one!

Hello, Estelle!
I'm working here!

Thank you.

All right. Now wet those lips.

Okay, one more. Come on.

Tell me how you
feel. Do you feel sexy?

- Do you feel sensual?
- I feel stupid.

Oh, oh, does this
camera love you.

Yes. Yes. One more, huh?

Okay, now why don't you
just lean forward a little, okay?

There you go. That's
it. Okay, good. Beautiful.

You know what? Lose the
smile. Give me wistful, okay?

Wistful. You're at work,

but you're thinking
about the nighttime, huh?

Yes. Uh-huh.

Oh. Oh.

What I want to know is

what does being a
decorator have to do

with riding a hobby horse

with your cleavage
cinched up to your chin?

I don't get Suzanne's outfit.

Well, as long as
we're on the subject,

I don't get this outfit.

Sammy Davis, Jr.?

Y'all, I'm sorry I
got us into this.

This is not what I had in mind.

I know, I know.

I mean, I can't
put my finger on it.

I mean, it's not like we're
doing anything wrong.

We do have our clothes on.

Well, they're not
our clothes, but...

Why do I feel like I'm
doing something creepy?

Okay, okay. Remember
now, lean forward.

Lean... There. Yes.
That's it. Uh-huh.

Lose the smile. Lose that smile.

That's right. Beautiful.

Are you watching this, Estelle?

Oh, yeah, right. Fantastic.

Excuse me. I don't
mean to be rude,

but I've had enough.
I'm going to get off now.

Fine, babe, fine,
because you know,

I need to get some more
film from the van for you.

Estelle, you want
to go get that for me?

I'm on my break.

Fine. I'll get it myself.

Class, class, class.

You are going to
knock their socks off.

[Suzanne] Well, I just
did not care for that at all.

And I mean, who ever heard

of asking somebody not to smile?

Come on, tell the truth.
Is this guy legitimate?

Suzanne.

Oh, yeah, he's legit.
He works all the time.

Estelle, we don't
mean to be rude.

We know you two
guys are friends.

Are you kidding?
He's not my friend.

I hate his guts.

Every time I walk
by his Maserati,

I leave a big handprint on it.

So why do you work for him?

It's all I can get right now.

Most of the guys in this
business I've met in L.A.

are just like him.
Talk about shallow.

He had this
girlfriend. She got sick.

He couldn't handle
it, so he left her.

That's too bad.
What did she have?

- The flu.
- [door opens]

[DeWitt] Okay, okay, we're back.

Now, babe, I want you over here

because I want to shoot you

in as much natural
light as possible.

Uh, excuse me.
Mr. Chiles, is it?

- It's DeWitt.
- Oh, whatever.

I have to tell you
that first of all,

my name is not babe. It's Julia.

And secondly, the purpose
of this outfit escapes me.

I can't imagine
what possible reason

I would have for
wearing a man's suit.

You're joking, right? I
mean, this is incredible

because this is the sexiest
thing that you could have on.

But... But you know what?

The fact that you are unaware
of what you are giving off

is just going to make
it that much sexier.

It's going to be unbelievable.

Okay, let's just
undo this button here.

Just... Just have a
rumpled look we're after.

Okay, now right up here.

Are you watching this, Estelle?

Yeah. Still trembling.

What I'm trying to say is that
we're having second thoughts.

Uh-huh, okay. You're
looking out there.

Looking out there.
The coat is here.

That's... Don't move.
This is pure class.

Did I tell you I once
shot Jennifer Jones?

Okay, Wet your lips.

I'm sorry. I don't do that.

Nor do I perspire.

Just... Just a little moisture.

Okay, okay. Now
let's take these pearls,

and we're going to take them
across your mouth. Uh-huh.

Uh-huh. That's it. That's it.

Okay, now you're looking out.

You're lost in thought,

and you're just ever
so slightly sucking them.

That's it! Out!

What? What's the matter?

I'm saying I want you

and your equipment
out of here now.

If you are looking for
somebody to suck pearls,

then I suggest you try
finding yourself an oyster

because I am not a
woman who does that.

As a matter of fact,

I don't know any
woman who does that

because it's stupid,

and it doesn't have any
more to do with decorating

than having cleavage
and looking sexy

have to do with
working in a bank.

These are not pictures
about the women of Atlanta.

These are about just the
same thing they're always about.

And it doesn't matter whether
the clothes are on or off!

It's just the same old message.

And I don't care
how many pictures

you've taken of movie stars.

When you start snapping photos

of serious, successful
businessmen

like Donald Trump
and Lee Iacocca

in unzipped jumpsuits

with wet lips straddling chairs,

then we'll talk.

Look, lady, hey,
I don't need this.

I was doing you a favor.

Good. Then do me another
one. Give me that film.

No way, babe. You
signed a release.

But you misrepresented
yourself to us.

You said that we would
be featured as decorators,

- and that isn't true.
- Yeah, and I don't think

this zipper was causing
a reflection, either.

Decorators can't be sexy?

Let's just put it
this way, DeWitt.

There is a reason you won't
catch Margaret Thatcher

in a wet T-shirt contest.

Think about it.

I thought we were having
a beautiful afternoon here.

My mistake. Hey,
I'll go get the van

and get the equipment.
Let's go, Estelle.

You go. I'm staying with them.

What are you, nuts?

We've got another shoot to do.

I quit.

Okay, honey, that's
it. I'm out of here.

I'm willing to pay.
I just want the film.

It belongs to the magazine.

You're going to hear from
our attorney, Reese Watson.

- He'll fix you.
- I don't get this.

Like, maybe you all had your
monthlies on the same day?

Oh, that's it. You
are a dead man.

Anthony, get him. Kill him!

Don't forget your spray can!

Yeah. Keep yourself
moist. Maybe you'll mildew.

Let's face it. Like a
lot of other women,

we were seduced.

You know, it's a very fine line.

There's nothing wrong with
being sexy and provocative.

It's just that that's not what
this was supposed to be about.

I don't care who he is.

I still say everybody looks
a hundred percent better

when they smile.

That's good, Suzanne.

I'm glad you've
grasped the point.

It's too bad DeWitt didn't
take pictures of Lucy and Ethel.

They'd have found a
way to get that film back.

You know, Charlene?
You're exactly right.

I don't know why I
didn't think of it myself.

Of course. Lucy and
Ethel would steal it.

Estelle, that's against the law.

Oh, he could never prove it.

I'll just switch the rolls.

I have to go to his room
anyway. He owes me money.

- You could get caught.
- I won't get caught.

He's always on the
phone or drying his hair.

It's fantastic. It's
beautiful. I love it.

Estelle, if you
can pull this off,

you will have our
undying gratitude

- and a thousand dollars.
- I don't want your money.

This is the most fun
I've had in a long time.

I didn't even know I
liked Southern women.

I'm from New York.

You know, we should
get together more often.

We should.

You know, I've been thinking.

It's too bad he's not doing
the real women of Atlanta.

The real women of Atlanta
are the blue-haired ladies

who still play bridge at
Merrimac's Tea Room,

the old bag woman named Ruby

who sits out in front
of the Capitol Building,

and Miss Minnie Rae Ritchie

who runs the plantation
outside of town

where her grandfather
was once a slave,

and the debs who
come out every year

in their white gowns

at the Pete Mott Driving Club.

I just figured out what
I'm replacing his film with.

- Are you a photographer?
- You better believe it.

You think they'd
actually use your film?

No. But I'd sure
like to see their faces

when it gets there.

♪ Beautiful girls ♪

♪ Walk a little slower ♪

♪ When you walk by me ♪

♪ Lingering sunsets ♪

♪ Stay a little longer ♪

♪ With the lonely sea ♪

♪ Wandering rainbows ♪

♪ Leave a bit of color ♪

♪ For my heart to own ♪

♪ Stars in the sky... ♪

♪♪ [I Love Lucy theme]

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