Designing Women (1986–1993): Season 2, Episode 14 - Second Time Around - full transcript

♪♪ [theme]

[Charlene] Hi. Any messages?

[Suzanne] Oh, yeah.
They're on the desk.

♪ Let it please be him ♪

♪ Oh, dear God, it must be him ♪

♪ It must be him
or I shall cry ♪

Mary Jo, cut it out!

Suzanne, he didn't call.

I just said they were messages,

I didn't say they were
from your Colonel.

Oh, I can't believe
he hasn't called.



Oh, well. Don't feel too bad.

We can always double
with Bubba and Dwayne.

Who's Bubba and Dwayne?

Oh, just some guys
who told us they'd love us

at the stoplight.

They were in a big red
truck, gun rack on the back,

duck hunters hats on,

Playboy key hanging
from the rearview mirror.

I mean, isn't it just incredible

that those people are still
out there, floating around?

I mean, it's like that
Japanese soldier

that stumbled out of the forest
eight years after World War II.

I mean, I just want to
shake them and say,

"Bubba, Dwayne, it's over."



Isn't it funny

how you and Charlene always
attract that redneck element,

but I never have any
problems with it myself.

I wonder why that is.

No, you don't.

Julia?

Are you sure that you
were here the whole time?

Yes, Charlene, I am.

I remember because
I was trying to work.

Suzanne was talking.

I don't understand it.

We had the best
time the other night.

Now, I know y'all think
I say that all the time,

but this is different.

As far as I'm concerned,

Bill's the last guy
on my dance card.

Well then, Charlene,
you better wise up

and start playing a
little more hard-to-get.

Oh, come on, Suzanne.

I told you, I don't
like to play games.

I don't care. Men
like a little challenge.

Like High. I went to visit
him in intensive care today.

Well, he forgot to
tell his secretary

to send me flowers this week.

So I just let him know
I didn't appreciate it.

When he stuck
that little hand out

from under that oxygen tent,

I didn't take it.

I done shook my finger at him.

He grinned. He loved it.

Suzanne,

you are playing hard-to-get
with a man in intensive care?

Oh, come on.

It's not like it's
the first time

he's been in there.

All I'm saying is,

Charlene is way too accessible.

I mean, every time
your Colonel calls

you're right on
top of the phone.

You go out with him
every time he asks.

You have to learn to
play these things out.

To advertise what you
have and then withhold.

You know, Suzanne,

you belong with
Bubba and Dwayne.

You're obviously
from the same glacier.

Women don't do that anymore.

Oh, pooey. They do it.

They just do it behind
Gloria Steinem's back.

Hey, wait.

What do you mean
"advertise and then withhold"?

I mean...

you should greet
them at the door

in something
seductive and skimpy.

Then, don't let anything
happen that night

and when he asks you
out for the next time,

tell him you're busy.

It never hurts to
hurt them a little

in the beginning.

Or why not just go all the way?

Wouldn't it be more
simple and direct

to just greet him at the
door completely naked

and then slam his hand in it?

Okay. I'm just trying
to be more helpful.

Anthony, you're a man.

Right.

Now, be honest.

If you like a woman, do
you like her even more

if she acts like she
doesn't like you?

No, I've never been
very big on that one.

Oh, no, wait a minute.
Don't answer so fast.

Think about it.

I mean, if you find
someone very desirable,

doesn't it peak
your interest more

if she gives you
a little challenge?

I mean, you don't want
someone who's gonna be

at your beck and call every
time you snap your fingers.

Actually, you're wrong. I think I would
kind of like that finger-snapping thing.

Why would I want someone who
isn't gonna be there when I need her

and isn't gonna want
me when I want her?

Oh, just forget it.

Thank you very much.

You know, I really
enjoy these little

man-on-the-street
quizzes that you all give me.

Feel free at any time.

It just sort of puts a
little button on my day.

I appreciate it.

Very much.

Thank you again.

[phone ringing]

Oh, what if it's him?

Just remember, hard-to-get.

Sugarbakers.

[sighs] Hi.

It's him.

Nothin'. Just workin'.

Tonight at 7?

Uh, gee, I'm sorry, Bill,

but I just couldn't possibly
make it tonight at 7.

7:15? Sure, 7:15'd be great.

And that's Harold
Thomas on Daddy's lap,

then Mama, Dwayne, and Odell.

Incredible. Ten
brothers and sisters.

Don't worry, you're not
expected to learn all their names.

Wait a minute. Not so fast.

I want to see this
dress you have on.

Oh. That was my 25th birthday.

Ahh. You're so beautiful.

This doesn't look
like a Baptist dress.

What's a Baptist
dress look like?

It has a higher neck.

[chuckles]

Well, that's enough about me.

You know how many
times we've been out,

and I've never even seen
a picture of your parents?

- Is that so strange?
- It is to me.

I like knowing other
people's families.

I'm just sorry you'll
never get to meet my dad.

Me, too.

- Oh, those your sisters?
- Um-hmm.

Emily and Olivia.

- Who's this?
- That's... That's Nancy.

Here, I don't think
there's much else in there.

You never told me how
long you were married.

Six years, six
months, four days.

I had a good friend
who died of cancer.

Charlene, I don't
want to talk about it.

Okay.

I love old things.
I love old people.

Love just sitting on the
porch, listening to them talk.

I've never fit in with
my own generation.

I hate all that MTV stuff
and those rock videos.

They're just too cool.
It's not normal, you know?

I mean, I see 8-year-old kids
now tossing their hair back

and sucking their cheeks in.

You know, everybody
acts like they're in a movie.

I still love all those
songs my parents loved.

Yeah, your taste is a
little eclectic, isn't it?

The Mills Brothers
and Jerry Lee Lewis.

Oh, right now, I'm into Jerry
Lee's cousin, Mickey Gilley.

- I didn't know
they were cousins.
- Oh, sure.

They have that other cousin,
Jimmy Swaggart, the minister.

You know, who's probably
the sexiest man in America,

present company excluded.

Anyway, where was I?

And you loved the old things.

Yeah, I guess I am sentimental.

You know, they tore down
the old movie theater at home.

I cry every time I go by.

But I can be tough, too.

You know, right now,
I'm writing a letter

to the Southern
Baptist Convention

because some of them think
women can't be ministers.

- Can you imagine?
- No, I can't.

I can get fired up
about something.

Somehow I get the feeling
people don't take me seriously.

You know, especially men.

Charlene, you just
have this quality

that puts men in
mind of other things.

Suzanne says I should
be more mysterious.

You're mysterious.

Oh, yeah, I babble on all night.

- You make me nervous.
- You make me crazy.

I've talked way too much. Now
you know everything about me.

Not yet, but I intend to.

Well, I have to teach a
flight class in the morning.

Wish you didn't have to go.

Me, too.

I had such a good time tonight.

Come here.

You know this is
getting real serious.

I know.

- I'm fond of you.
- Me, too.

You think if we made mad, passionate
love for about two or three years,

when we were all finished,
we'd still be friends?

I think we'd be friends.

I know one thing...
I'd never be finished.

Good night.

♪ It had to be you ♪

♪ I wandered around ♪

♪ And finally found ♪

- ♪ Somebody who ♪
- Well, I guess we could say
a good time was had by all.

[chuckles] Yes, we could.

But this time I am not
getting carried away.

I'm going to keep a
cool and level head.

But I would like to go on record

as just saying one thing.

What's that?

He's pretty darn cute.

You know, he hangs
on every word I say.

I mean, he's just the sweetest, most
thoughtful, kindest person I've ever met.

You know, of all those people
whose pants zip up the front.

- Bill!
- Charlene.

What are you
doing here? [kisses]

I went by your apartment
to put the new lock on

but you forgot to
leave me a key.

Oh, my gosh. I don't
know where my mind is.

I do. In the gutter.

Listen, I need to talk to you.

Can you take a break?

Oh, uh... y'all can stay here.

Oh, yes. We need to check
some inventory in the storeroom.

Oh, sorry about the lock.

Charlene, I have to talk to you.

Well, what's the matter?
Honey, you look terrible.

Come sit down.

Haven't been to bed.

I went walking in the park
and then out to the airport,

sat in my plane.

Your little jet fighter plane?

No, I told you. I have a
little biplane on my own.

I restored it. Anyway...

There's just no
good way to do this.

Lord, just get it over with.

You're a criminal, a
killer, a woman, what?

I'm an SOB.

Why?

Because I can't see you anymore.

Okay.

That's good enough for
me. Thanks for stopping by.

Where are you going?

I have to run an errand.

Charlene, I just
can't handle it.

When I'm with you, it's
the best time of my life.

When I leave, I'm
all torn up inside.

I'm not ready for
this relationship.

Oh, please.

At least you could have come
up with some new material.

Where do you
guys get this stuff?

- You don't understand.
- Oh, I understand all right.

I understand that you came
here expecting a scene.

Well, you're not gonna get one.

I'm sorry to disappoint
you, Colonel,

but I've been run
over by this train before

and you know something?

Doesn't even hurt anymore.

It just feels numb.

I hate it when
Charlene isn't here.

I can't find anything.
She's so meticulous.

But only she
understands her system.

That's how she makes
herself indispensable.

And I'm not kidding, she's
completely wasted in decorating.

She ought to be with the KGB.

You'll never guess who
was on TV last night.

Trust me, we are not
in the mood to guess.

- Just tell us.
- Charlene.

Charlene? Our Charlene?

That's right.

She was on that Home
Shopping program.

Well, actually, it
was just her voice.

You know, Consuela
had it on in the kitchen.

I just couldn't believe it.

You know, they had some
pretty good buys on flatware.

Well, what did she say?

I mean, how did you
know it was Charlene?

Oh, you could just tell.

I mean, her voice was all
depressed and monotone

and you could sort of hear
the sniffling in the background

and then, of course,
the real clincher

was when she said her
name was Charlene Frazier.

Poor kid.

Now she's reduced
to Home Shopping.

I mean, I've seen her
upset over a man before,

but nothing like this.

She's not on any vacation!

She's over there
at that apartment

just sitting out on that balcony

in her bathrobe,
earmuffs, and a trench coat.

How do you know that?

We drove by and saw her.

Now why is she out
there on that balcony?

She's waiting for
an eclipse, Suzanne.

She's depressed. She's suicidal.

She's not thinking
straight, get it?

I think we better
cruise over there again.

So do I.

And this time, we're going in.

Well now, she sounded okay
to me on the Home Shopping.

I mean, you know, she
sounded like someone

who was upset but had a plan.

- Yeah?
- What did she buy?

Well, a man's wedding ring
and an electric power saw.

I appreciate y'all
coming over. I really do.

But I'm fine. I just need
some vacation time.

Vacation, my foot.

Is that what you call
sitting out on the balcony

in your bathrobe?

It helps me to think.

Yeah?

What do you think about?

Mostly I think about
why y'all keep driving by.

Charlene, we're
worried about you.

I understand this
man has hurt you.

You have a right to
want some time alone,

but, my word, you've
just completely given up.

I mean, you've always
been so fastidious.

Now, you don't go out, you don't
care anything about your appearance.

Julia, I seem to remember when you
thought Reese didn't want to marry you

you locked yourself in
your room for four days.

Yes, but I kept myself up.

I wore a different
bed jacket every day.

I ate bon-bons. I watched
a couple of soap operas.

It was all very innocent.

I mean, you're
eating out of food cans

and calling the
Home Shopping Club.

So?

So, you're beginning to
look like Shelley Winters

in Bloody Mama.

And we want you to knock it off.

Well, if I offend y'all,
then just don't come over.

Charlene, can I
ask you something?

What?

How did you get through on
that Home Shopping program?

I've got a better question.

Why were you ordering

a man's wedding
ring and a power saw?

I ordered the wedding ring for my
brother Odell, because he lost his.

And the power saw's for
my daddy's birthday, okay?

Look, y'all don't have to
monitor my every move.

I'm not gonna do myself in.

But right now I just don't care

about anything.

I haven't exactly had good
luck with men in the past,

but... this was different.

Bill was different.

Anthony wants me to ask

if you'd like to
have him beaten up.

That's so sweet.

Tell him, thanks,
maybe some other time.

Well, I can't put
my finger on it,

but there's something about him

that's intrinsically decent

and I think it
still may surface.

Thanks, but don't
hold your breath.

Well, meanwhile,

you can't just sit in
here and vegetate.

I don't vegetate.
My life is very full.

I watch TV. I order things.

- What kind of things?
- I don't know.

Mostly stuff from
the Franklin Mint.

And I've gained
some insights, too.

You know, like, Bob
Barker really does look better

since he let his hair go grey.

And Vana White probably
really is kind of dumb.

I used to defend her,

but she gets much too elated
turning over those letters.

Well, good.

Just so long as it hasn't
been a total waste.

Intrinsically decent, huh?

I suppose you think
it's pretty strange,

my inviting you
over here tonight.

Well, a little.

You're right, it is strange

and also presumptuous.

In fact, I was just
sitting here thinking

it's like something Jane
Wyman would do on Falcon Crest.

- I'm sorry, I'm not familiar with...
- It doesn't matter.

It's just that Jane is always
into everybody else's business.

And when the
person she has over,

doesn't behave just the
way she wants them to,

she has a way of doing
something thoughtless,

like burning down
their vineyard.

I hope my vineyard's not
about to go up in flames.

I assume this is about Charlene.

Not exactly.

I invited you over here to
show you some artwork.

Your artwork?

Mm-hmm.

I wanted you to see it
because it represents

almost five wasted
years of my life.

After my husband, Hayden, died,

I spent the first year
looking out the window,

and feeling sorry for myself

and then I started
painting all this nonsense.

I knew I didn't have
any talent as an artist,

but these gave me an excuse

not to have to see
or talk to anybody.

So what made you change?

Well, I'd like to
say I did it myself,

but actually, I met someone.

Mr. Reese Watson.

One of the first
things he told me was

how bad my paintings were.

I thought then how much Hayden

would have liked him for that.

How the two of them
might have become friends.

You see... I had been
running from a ghost.

And Reese just invited him
right into our relationship.

He said, "Julia Sugarbaker"...

He's an attorney,
very theatrical.

Anyway, he said,
"Julia Sugarbaker,

"you just keep all the memories

"and pictures of Hayden Mcllroy

"that you want to
"because, quite frankly,

"I don't think I'd want
to be with a woman

"that tried to stop
loving her husband

just because he died."

See, I'd been thinking it
was an either/or proposition.

I hadn't realized

that it could be
all three of us.

Your wife, what was her name?

- Nancy.
- Nancy.

I know she had cancer.

My husband had
three heart attacks.

Isn't there a song that says

the most we can hope for is...

Is to die in our sleep?

Well, our loved ones
didn't get that privilege.

That leaves the
person who's left behind

with a lot of guilt.

Is it that obvious,

the way I look at Charlene?

Let's just say you
have the look of a man

who's been released from prison

and been assigned
Ann-Margret as his parole officer.

So how do you
get rid of this guilt?

It isn't easy.

It takes a lot of time
and... and the love

of somebody pretty wonderful.

You've certainly got
that second part covered.

Yeah. God knows that's true.

I've been talking a lot.

But I guess what I've
been trying to say is

that Charlene has
the biggest heart

of anyone I know.

I think she has room

for both you, and your Nancy.

What do you think?

I don't know.

But I do know one thing,

I think it's time I found out.

[phone ringing]

- Hello?
- [Bill] Don't hang up.

Do you want to go flying?

Where?

Maybe Gulf Shores?

We could go to the
beach. Take a picnic.

I thought you might
wear that Baptist dress.

It's winter.

So it is. My mistake.

Well, I guess I really
screwed up this time, didn't I?

- Charlene?
- What?

I just want you to
know that I love you.

Where's the hangar?

♪ You give your hand to me ♪

♪ And then you say hello ♪

♪ And I can hardly speak ♪

♪ My heart is beating so ♪

♪ And anyone can tell ♪

♪ You think you know me well ♪

You wore the dress.

- ♪ But you don't know me ♪
- Yeah.

What's the matter?

You just look so beautiful.

♪ Who dreams of you at night ♪

My favorite. That was sweet.

♪ And longs to kiss your lips ♪

Charlene, I want to
explain some things...

You don't have
to. I talked to Julia.

You did?

Yeah.

You don't think I came
all the way out here

just 'cause you told
me you love me, do ya?

I'd like to tell
you about Nancy.

I'd like for you to know her.

I want to.

See, I never expected
to fall in love again.

Then you came along and
you made me feel so good.

And guilty.

Even ashamed.

Who would believe this,
but you're the first man

I've ever completely trusted.

Come here.

♪ The chance that you
might have loved me, too ♪

Listen to me,

I'll never let you down again.

I want to take care of you.

I want you to be my girl.

I want to know
every inch of you,

and when I'm done, I
want to start all over again.

Just say you'll
give me a chance.

I've missed you so.

♪ You never never know ♪

♪ The one that loves you so ♪

Can I have this dance?

Uh, I thought we
were going flying.

The weather's turned on us.

How do you feel
about an indoor picnic?

I brought a blanket.

You wouldn't be trying to
seduce me now, would ya?

Hey, I don't care if it's
standing up or lying down,

just so you're next to me.

For 50 years.

Bill?

Yeah?

I love you, too.

Closed-Captioned By J.R.
Media Services, Inc. Burbank, CA

♪ I came alive ♪

♪ When you came along ♪

♪ You brought life into me ♪

♪ Honey, I don't care ♪