Designing Women (1986–1993): Season 1, Episode 22 - Bachelor Suite - full transcript
A wealthy client makes a pass at Mary Jo.
♪♪ [theme]
[Woman singing] ♪ This morning ♪
♪ Oh, oh ♪
♪ Sleepin' single
in a double bed ♪
♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh ♪
♪ Thinkin' over
things I wish I'd said ♪
♪ Ah, ah ♪
♪ I should have held
you, but I let you go ♪
Please, Charlene, I
can't take that racket
when I have a headache.
It's not racket, Suzanne.
That's "Sleepin'
Single in a Double Bed."
Look, I'm just not
in the mood. Okay?
Anyway, you look dumb
singing into that magic marker.
Singing into a magic marker?
What made you
think I was doing that?
'Cause you always do it
when you think no one's around.
I've seen you a couple times
when I was in the store room
and you didn't
know I was looking.
[snickers]
You know, Suzanne, I think
you're getting completely nuts.
I think you got too
much time on your hands.
I don't know where
you get this stuff.
"Singing into a magic marker."
♪ Thinkin' over
things I wish I'd said ♪
♪ I should have held
you but I let you go ♪
♪ Now I'm the one
sleepin' all alone ♪
[music continues]
I was trying to
shake the ink down.
I hate when these
things get clogged.
Charlene, did Mary Jo get back
from Hence Winchester's yet?
No. They were finishing up
installing that waterfall today.
Oh, that's right. I forgot.
We're not building a
master suite anymore.
We're building a
miniature Club Med.
And it's not even functional.
There's so many tropical
plants in that bathroom,
you need a machete
to get to the commode.
That's right, let's
just insult the man.
After all, he's only one of the most
successful contractors in Atlanta
who could give us enough
work to last a lifetime,
but who needs him? Right, Julia?
I'm sorry. I don't happen
to love doing business
with a person who
has a fur waterbed
and a bumper sticker that
says "No Fat Chicks" on it.
Oh, come on!
Where do you get off
being sensitive about fat people
after the remarks you
made last weekend?
What remarks?
At Mardelle
Richardson's wedding.
You know Mardelle has
a little weight problem,
and unfortunately she chose
this full, white gown with a veil.
Anyway, just as she's getting
ready to come down the aisle,
Julia leans over to me and says,
"Look, Suzanne,
it's not a bride.
It's a bride float."
I did not. You're terrible.
You did so.
And then, when the
attendants got ready
to come down
the aisle, she said,
"If they had any style
at all, they'd ride her in."
Julia.
I never said
anything of the kind.
Suzanne, I don't know where
you come up with this stuff.
You are trying to drive me
crazy, but it's not going to work.
You sing into magic
markers, Charlene,
and you, Julia,
insult fat people.
I want you all to know
that the only reason
that I am not quitting
this Hence Winchester job
is because I am
that close to finishing
and because, well, because it
would be crazy to quit now! Right?
What happened?
He wants a new bathtub.
He didn't like the
one with the waterfall?
That's the hot tub
in the bedroom.
This is the whirlpool
in the bathroom.
He found it in the
back of a magazine.
Let's see that.
These people are naked.
I know.
Everybody in Hence Winchester's
life is naked except me,
a couple of workmen,
and Vernon, the electrician.
Since he moved in
there five days ago,
there has been a different
woman there every morning.
- You're joking.
- No.
I have to wait for
them to get out of bed
so I can get into the bathroom.
One of them even
asked me if I might have
a little deodorant
she could borrow.
You're kidding!
You should never use
another person's deodorant.
All sorts of bacteria can
grow on that little ball.
You could get sick.
I don't know how many
more times I can go in there
and... and... and face those
workmen and say things
like, "Okay, what
we need to do here
"is, uh, take this
12-hundred-pound mirror
"and suspend it on chains
over Mr. Winchester's waterbed,
and I don't want any comments."
I bet they comment
anyway, don't they?
Are you kidding? What
we are building here
is a sex chamber, and
everybody knows it!
The plumber suggested
that we use a funhouse mirror,
you know, the ones that
make things appear smaller
than they actually are?
Aah! That's hysterical!
I don't get it. What
would that do?
Well, Suzanne, from
your point of view,
it'd make his
wallet look smaller.
What I don't understand is
what difference does it make
what kind of taste
Hence Winchester has
or how many times
he changes his mind,
as long as he pays for it?
Because we're trying
to develop a clientele
that fits with the
image of Sugarbakers',
and that does not include people
whose only
prerequisite for furniture
is that it vibrate.
Look, Charlene, I almost forgot.
Would you call J.D. for me?
He's coming over
to dinner tonight,
and now I'm running late.
What time should I tell him?
Oh, 8:00, and tell him
the kids will be at Ted's.
[giggling]
Charlene, we're
just having dinner.
Well, I certainly hope not.
Don't you think it's time
we consummated
this relationship?
We?
Well, you know, I'll
be with you in spirit.
Oh, good.
I'll let you know in the morning
if you had a good time.
Where are those
black tile samples?
Hence is picking
me up any minute.
And don't mention that to J.D.
He's all bent out of shape
because I made the
mistake of telling him
that I thought Hence was
sexually harassing me.
Sexually harassing you?
Mary Jo, you never
mentioned that before.
Well, I thought it was
just my imagination.
I mean, you know,
Hence has so many
women in his life,
why would he bother me?
Good point.
Well, just exactly
what does he do?
Well, I don't know.
Sometimes when
he's talking to me,
he kind of likes to
tap me right there.
Well, I've seen
people do that before.
Sometimes, he misses.
That reminds me
of my brother Robert.
He used to pin me down,
both of my shoulders
with his knees,
and then drool on my face.
It was so disgusting.
He called it "trial by spit."
Charlene, are you finished?
I guess so.
Go on, Mary Jo.
Well, a couple of other times,
he just kind of
brushed up against me.
But I never know if he means it.
And then, this
morning, I heard myself
saying something to him
I'd never said to
any other client.
What?
Get your right
hand off my left bun.
You're kidding me!
What did he say
when you said that?
He said, "Hey, babe,
I'm just giving you
a little love pat."
No. What did you say?
I said, "Fine,
I'm just giving you
a little warning."
- Way to go.
- Well, that is the limit.
Mary Jo, I want you to know
you don't have
to put up with this.
No, Julia, it's all
right. I handled it.
And anyway, let us not overlook
the amount of work
this man can get us.
You people are
getting all excited
just because some guy
gave Mary Jo a little love pat.
Men do that sort
of thing all the time.
Suzanne, I don't
believe that your opinion
counts for much on this issue.
I mean, to you,
being tied up for five
days and held hostage
would seem like a
romantic overture.
Ladies.
Mary Jo, I'm sorry I'm late.
I had to drop somebody off,
and I got a little waylaid.
I can imagine.
Hence, I think you know Julia.
- Yes, hi.
- Hello.
And this is Charlene
Frazier, our office manager.
Well, hello.
If I'd known the decor
around here looked like this,
I would have come
by a lot sooner.
[chuckling] Thank you.
Oh, and this is
our other partner,
Suzanne Sugarbaker.
Hi.
Hi, Suzanne Sugarbaker, yes.
Don't we have
some mutual friends?
Oh, yes, we do.
And they all just think
you're wonderful...
Especially Marcy Patterson.
Oh, yes, Marcy is a great girl,
but I don't know, Suzanne,
how you and I, uh,
missed meeting.
Hence, we're running late.
- Hence?
- Hmm?
Oh, right.
Yes.
Well, it was, uh,
great meeting you two.
[together] Nice to meet you.
Oh, Charlene, don't
forget to call J.D.
- Right.
- [Julia] Mr. Winchester.
I'd just like to
say, before you go,
that we do appreciate
your business,
and we think of it
exactly as that... business,
and only business.
We like to keep our clients
in a strictly
professional basis,
if you know what I mean.
Hey, that's the only way to go.
I'm glad we
understand each other.
Right. You take it easy.
He shouldn't have done that.
That was a mistake.
I keep a little list
of people who pat my
behind without permission.
And several of them have died
unnatural and untimely deaths.
Oh, come on, Julia, lighten up.
It's just his way
of being social.
Well, I just cannot
believe the two of you.
After you know the trouble
that he's caused Mary Jo,
and here you sit,
drooling in your socks.
Julia, I can't help it if
I think he's attractive.
I didn't say I wanted
to go out with him.
Anyway, he's not my type.
Charlene, that is not the issue.
Well, I think he's just darling.
I'd go out with him in a second.
Of course you would.
You'd also like to have drinks
with Muammar al-Gaddafi.
I never said anything
about drinks, Julia.
I just said I liked
his sunglasses.
Give me a break.
That's it!
Nobody has that much trouble
finding the stick shift.
[knocking]
- Hi.
- Hi.
Everybody, come on in.
I know you were thinking
romantic dinner for two,
but how about pizza
for five, my treat?
Uh, gee, well,
I had everything
fixed up all here.
I thought it was just us.
Yes, well, uh, Janet
had other ideas.
You see, ever since our divorce,
she gets a kick out
of figuring out ways
to send the kids on
my dates with me.
So, tonight's her poker night,
and she got the
week all mixed up.
- I apologize.
- It's all right.
I just wish I'd known. I
sent my kids to their dad's.
That's all right.
These guys won't be any trouble.
I'll just make them
stay under a table
until I'm ready to go.
Dad.
It's a joke, okay?
Give me a break.
[clears throat]
Oh. Hannah, Hannah.
Mary Jo, this outspoken
little person here is Hannah.
- Hi, there, Hannah.
- Hi.
And the big guy
over here is Rex.
- Hi.
- Hi, Rex.
Yeah, and this is
Burt. Burt, come here.
Hi, Burt, how are you?
Fine.
Don't pick your nose, son.
Why not?
Because I said so.
Why not?
Mary Jo, I know you've
gone to a lot of trouble here,
and I'm real sorry
about all this.
No, it's nothing at all.
We can just stay here
and eat. I made plenty.
Oh, yeah? What are we having?
Uh, duck à l'orange
and vichyssois.
Hey, hey, that's their favorite.
Great.
Well, why don't I just
blow these silly candles out.
Burt, why don't you get up there
and do that for me?
You look so beautiful.
Uh, you guys, could
you turn your heads?
I want to give Mary Jo a kiss.
- Oh, J.D.
- It's okay.
We're used to it.
All right, y'all can look again.
Nice to get that mushy stuff
out of the way, you know?
Won't have to do that again
for another 10 or
15 minutes now.
Oh, I almost forgot.
Mary Jo, I brought
you a little present.
It's a baseball cap
from the Atlanta Braves.
I know.
I have three of them.
J.D., you just can't walk
through life passing out hats
every time you think somebody's
going to be put out with you.
It's working pretty good so far.
Yeah, he's given us about 600.
You just remember,
you're old enough now
to be sent to lumberjack camp.
Hey, I got a great idea.
What do you say we
just 86 the orange duck
and throw a few
hot dogs on the grill?
Yeah. I like hot dogs.
Sometimes, I open
my mouth so wide,
you can see all the food in it.
But I'm not going
to do that to you.
Thanks, Burt. That's
very considerate.
And you thought they
weren't going to like you.
What are they doing?
Well, Rex is in Claudia's
room doing his homework,
and Burt's playing
with Quint's toys,
and Hannah wants to know
if she can spend the
night with me sometime.
Yeah, well, that's just fine,
as long as their
dad gets to first.
Okay, so why don't
you tell me a little more
about this jerk contractor
that was giving you
a bad time today.
Oh, I don't want
to talk about it.
Besides, he's
basically harmless.
Hey, hey. He ripped
your skirt, didn't he?
He said he didn't mean to.
Mary Jo, I don't understand
why you're defending him.
I mean, you must...
You must think I'm one
of these big macho guys
who thinks it's an
insult to his male pride
if he lets some other guy
think he can paw his woman.
No. I don't think that.
Well, you should because
I'm going to kill him.
[phone ringing]
I don't know why you're making
such a big deal of this.
I told you, I took
care of it, I quit.
- [ringing continues]
- It's over and done.
Hello?
Oh.
Hello, Hence.
Yes, I-I'm fine, really, yeah.
Yeah.
I'm sure I can just sew that up.
[knocking]
No. No, I haven't
gotten any flowers yet.
You really didn't
have to do that...
Oh, actually, I think
they just arrived.
Hence, really, you
didn't have to do that.
That was way too much. No.
Look,
I just want to forget
the whole thing, okay?
Are you crying?
I'm sorry, I... I didn't know.
- Give me the phone.
- Yes.
No, Hence, could we talk
about this another time?
Yes, all right, I'll bring the
samples by in the morning.
Yes, all right. Yes,
I'll finish the job.
But no more funny
business, okay? All right.
And I'm so sorry about your dog.
- See you tomorrow.
- I don't believe this.
This is the way you handle a guy
who sexually attacked
you this afternoon?
His dog died.
He'd had him for 18 years.
He said he was
overwrought with grief.
Oh, I see.
Well, I got to
admit, that's original.
So, I guess all his
advances toward you
have been made on days
when other childhood
pets have passed away.
I know, it's not a good story.
Come to think of it,
I've never seen him with a dog.
Well, I have, but that's
just a matter of opinion.
Mary Jo, you are not going
to go over there tomorrow.
Yes, I am.
Look, I know he's a jerk,
but he sounded genuinely sorry.
And after what happened,
I'm sure he wouldn't
dare try anything again.
Stop, stop, okay?
You're breaking my heart.
I mean, you are so gullible,
I don't even know now if
I can go to bed with you.
I'll feel like a heel.
Of course, I could always
grit my teeth and try.
I do appreciate your concern,
but I don't need you to
fight my battles for me.
Let's not talk about
it anymore, all right?
No.
No, I want to talk
about it, Mary Jo.
We've been going
out for a while now,
and I think maybe it's time
we put something
on the line, here.
Now you know
how I feel about you.
And I just don't want anybody
even thinking that
you're available.
So I am asking you not to go.
Don't give me an ultimatum, J.D.
I have a responsibility
to... to Suzanne, and
Julia, and Charlene.
We got $150,000 dollar
note at Atlanta International.
This is not the kind of job
that I can afford
just to throw away.
Is that your answer?
Yes.
Well, that was the wrong one.
I don't mean to seem immature,
but I'd like my hat
back, if you don't mind.
I just want you to
know something.
I am not happy with you.
Not happy.
I forgot my kids.
Uh-huh.
Uh-huh.
Then, what'd she say?
Uh-huh.
I should never have let
Mary Jo go out there alone.
Well, how could you
have stopped her?
She's so stubborn.
I guess she has
some kind of misguided
sense of responsibility to us,
but nothing is worth
putting up with this
kind of harassment.
What worries me the
most is that she's so polite.
What does polite
have to do with it?
Well, you know, some
women are so well-mannered
and easily intimidated,
that if a man they
know comes on to them,
they're afraid of
causing trouble.
It's just not as cut and dry
as being attacked by a stranger.
Well, Marcy Patterson
says she knows
a lot of people who have been
out with Hence Winchester,
and they all think he's
a perfect gentleman.
Of course, she
didn't know anyone
who'd ever turned him down.
I say we get in the
car and drive out there.
Well, why?
Now Marcy says he's a nice guy.
Suzanne, nice
guys don't rip skirts.
Well, it could've just
been a misunderstanding.
I used to be naive like that
till I rode the bus and sat
next to Jim Herb Hodge
from Fort Benning, Georgia.
Don't make this a
long one, please.
At first, he just had his arm
up on the back of my seat.
I thought, "Well,
he's just resting it."
I mean, I try to
be nice to soldiers,
even in peace time.
Anyway, pretty soon,
it started slowly creeping down.
I'm thinking to myself,
"This man is a sex pervert."
The next thing I knew,
it went right back up
on the back of the seat.
I thought to myself, "Charlene,
that was so silly of you
to think he was a pervert."
Then I just went
right off to sleep.
Is that the end?
No, when I woke up,
he'd gotten into my suitcase
and had my bra on his head.
Okay. That does it. Let's go.
I'm sorry. Did that
story upset you?
No. I just don't want
you to tell another one.
[Mary Jo] Hence?
Hence!
[Hence] Mary Jo?
Oh, uh, the front door was open.
I'll just wait for
you downstairs.
No, don't do that. Come in here.
We have to match
the tile samples in here.
Just sit down and
relax, I'll be right out.
Okay.
♪♪ [soft rock]
Oh, no.
Excuse me, I thought we
made a deal on the phone.
Let's forget the
deal, let's dance.
Hence, I don't know what
kind of game you're playing,
but it's not funny anymore.
Get your hands off me.
Come on, I just want a
few minutes of your time.
I just want to talk
to you, no big deal.
What do you think you're doing?
Now come on, don't
give me a hard time.
Just lighten up.
I just want to get to know you.
Why don't we just
test out the mattress?
I don't want to test
out the mattress.
I want you to let
me out of here.
Mary Jo, what are you afraid of?
Come on, I'm not
going to hurt you.
Why don't you come on up here,
get in my hot tub, relax,
and I'll fix us a
couple drinks, okay?
I don't want to
get into the hot tub,
and I don't want a drink.
Give me the key.
Okay.
I'll give you what you want
if you give me what I want.
You know what you are?
You're a rapist.
If you think that you are
going to force me to do
anything I don't want to
do, you are dead wrong.
I'm not like those
women in the movies
that get strangled
in nine seconds.
What do you think, just because
you look like Robert Redford,
it's not rape?
Nobody's turned me down yet.
I'm sure nobody
ever had the chance.
Come on, I'm getting a
little tired of these games.
I warn you. You
get away from me.
Why don't you just give in?
You know you want
me, and you know...
[knocking]
[J.D.] Mary Jo,
Are you in there?
Open up. Mary Jo?
[panting]
[whimpering]
Are you all right?
Oh, honey, come here.
I was at the ball park.
I just got so worried
about you, I couldn't work.
Am I interrupting something?
Hence, he w-wouldn't
let go of me.
I'm going to kill the bastard.
[Hence] What is going on?
You want to know
what's going on?
I'll tell you what's going on.
Who are you?
I'm with her, that's who I am.
What's your dog's name?
What dog?
Told you he didn't have a dog.
J.D.
I'm growing very fond of you.
And I'm very fond of you.
Hey, this is working
out great, huh?
[all] Oh.
It looks like Mary Jo
has got the situation
under control.
What are y'all doing here?
Well, we came to rescue you.
He looks better
with his clothes on.
You think so? I don't.
I know that's not the issue.
Who knocked him out?
Well, we both did.
Mary Jo, are you all right?
Yeah, I'm fine.
You all were sweet to come.
Well, we were worried
about you, with good reason.
I'm just glad J.D. got
here first to save you.
This is so romantic.
Well, I mean, he
didn't exactly save me.
[in deep voice] Yes, I did,
and I'll tell you
something else.
I'd do it again, little lady.
I think we should get out
of here before he comes to.
I think he's going
to be in a bad mood.
Great idea.
I've had as much of
this guy as I can stand.
- Julia, aren't you coming?
- Yes, I am.
I'm just leaving
our business card.
I'm taking the liberty of
writing him a little message.
[Mary Jo] What's it say/
"Dear Mr. Winchester,
just wanted you to know,
Sugarbakers' always
finishes the job."
[Woman singing] ♪ This morning ♪
♪ Oh, oh ♪
♪ Sleepin' single
in a double bed ♪
♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh ♪
♪ Thinkin' over
things I wish I'd said ♪
♪ Ah, ah ♪
♪ I should have held
you, but I let you go ♪
Please, Charlene, I
can't take that racket
when I have a headache.
It's not racket, Suzanne.
That's "Sleepin'
Single in a Double Bed."
Look, I'm just not
in the mood. Okay?
Anyway, you look dumb
singing into that magic marker.
Singing into a magic marker?
What made you
think I was doing that?
'Cause you always do it
when you think no one's around.
I've seen you a couple times
when I was in the store room
and you didn't
know I was looking.
[snickers]
You know, Suzanne, I think
you're getting completely nuts.
I think you got too
much time on your hands.
I don't know where
you get this stuff.
"Singing into a magic marker."
♪ Thinkin' over
things I wish I'd said ♪
♪ I should have held
you but I let you go ♪
♪ Now I'm the one
sleepin' all alone ♪
[music continues]
I was trying to
shake the ink down.
I hate when these
things get clogged.
Charlene, did Mary Jo get back
from Hence Winchester's yet?
No. They were finishing up
installing that waterfall today.
Oh, that's right. I forgot.
We're not building a
master suite anymore.
We're building a
miniature Club Med.
And it's not even functional.
There's so many tropical
plants in that bathroom,
you need a machete
to get to the commode.
That's right, let's
just insult the man.
After all, he's only one of the most
successful contractors in Atlanta
who could give us enough
work to last a lifetime,
but who needs him? Right, Julia?
I'm sorry. I don't happen
to love doing business
with a person who
has a fur waterbed
and a bumper sticker that
says "No Fat Chicks" on it.
Oh, come on!
Where do you get off
being sensitive about fat people
after the remarks you
made last weekend?
What remarks?
At Mardelle
Richardson's wedding.
You know Mardelle has
a little weight problem,
and unfortunately she chose
this full, white gown with a veil.
Anyway, just as she's getting
ready to come down the aisle,
Julia leans over to me and says,
"Look, Suzanne,
it's not a bride.
It's a bride float."
I did not. You're terrible.
You did so.
And then, when the
attendants got ready
to come down
the aisle, she said,
"If they had any style
at all, they'd ride her in."
Julia.
I never said
anything of the kind.
Suzanne, I don't know where
you come up with this stuff.
You are trying to drive me
crazy, but it's not going to work.
You sing into magic
markers, Charlene,
and you, Julia,
insult fat people.
I want you all to know
that the only reason
that I am not quitting
this Hence Winchester job
is because I am
that close to finishing
and because, well, because it
would be crazy to quit now! Right?
What happened?
He wants a new bathtub.
He didn't like the
one with the waterfall?
That's the hot tub
in the bedroom.
This is the whirlpool
in the bathroom.
He found it in the
back of a magazine.
Let's see that.
These people are naked.
I know.
Everybody in Hence Winchester's
life is naked except me,
a couple of workmen,
and Vernon, the electrician.
Since he moved in
there five days ago,
there has been a different
woman there every morning.
- You're joking.
- No.
I have to wait for
them to get out of bed
so I can get into the bathroom.
One of them even
asked me if I might have
a little deodorant
she could borrow.
You're kidding!
You should never use
another person's deodorant.
All sorts of bacteria can
grow on that little ball.
You could get sick.
I don't know how many
more times I can go in there
and... and... and face those
workmen and say things
like, "Okay, what
we need to do here
"is, uh, take this
12-hundred-pound mirror
"and suspend it on chains
over Mr. Winchester's waterbed,
and I don't want any comments."
I bet they comment
anyway, don't they?
Are you kidding? What
we are building here
is a sex chamber, and
everybody knows it!
The plumber suggested
that we use a funhouse mirror,
you know, the ones that
make things appear smaller
than they actually are?
Aah! That's hysterical!
I don't get it. What
would that do?
Well, Suzanne, from
your point of view,
it'd make his
wallet look smaller.
What I don't understand is
what difference does it make
what kind of taste
Hence Winchester has
or how many times
he changes his mind,
as long as he pays for it?
Because we're trying
to develop a clientele
that fits with the
image of Sugarbakers',
and that does not include people
whose only
prerequisite for furniture
is that it vibrate.
Look, Charlene, I almost forgot.
Would you call J.D. for me?
He's coming over
to dinner tonight,
and now I'm running late.
What time should I tell him?
Oh, 8:00, and tell him
the kids will be at Ted's.
[giggling]
Charlene, we're
just having dinner.
Well, I certainly hope not.
Don't you think it's time
we consummated
this relationship?
We?
Well, you know, I'll
be with you in spirit.
Oh, good.
I'll let you know in the morning
if you had a good time.
Where are those
black tile samples?
Hence is picking
me up any minute.
And don't mention that to J.D.
He's all bent out of shape
because I made the
mistake of telling him
that I thought Hence was
sexually harassing me.
Sexually harassing you?
Mary Jo, you never
mentioned that before.
Well, I thought it was
just my imagination.
I mean, you know,
Hence has so many
women in his life,
why would he bother me?
Good point.
Well, just exactly
what does he do?
Well, I don't know.
Sometimes when
he's talking to me,
he kind of likes to
tap me right there.
Well, I've seen
people do that before.
Sometimes, he misses.
That reminds me
of my brother Robert.
He used to pin me down,
both of my shoulders
with his knees,
and then drool on my face.
It was so disgusting.
He called it "trial by spit."
Charlene, are you finished?
I guess so.
Go on, Mary Jo.
Well, a couple of other times,
he just kind of
brushed up against me.
But I never know if he means it.
And then, this
morning, I heard myself
saying something to him
I'd never said to
any other client.
What?
Get your right
hand off my left bun.
You're kidding me!
What did he say
when you said that?
He said, "Hey, babe,
I'm just giving you
a little love pat."
No. What did you say?
I said, "Fine,
I'm just giving you
a little warning."
- Way to go.
- Well, that is the limit.
Mary Jo, I want you to know
you don't have
to put up with this.
No, Julia, it's all
right. I handled it.
And anyway, let us not overlook
the amount of work
this man can get us.
You people are
getting all excited
just because some guy
gave Mary Jo a little love pat.
Men do that sort
of thing all the time.
Suzanne, I don't
believe that your opinion
counts for much on this issue.
I mean, to you,
being tied up for five
days and held hostage
would seem like a
romantic overture.
Ladies.
Mary Jo, I'm sorry I'm late.
I had to drop somebody off,
and I got a little waylaid.
I can imagine.
Hence, I think you know Julia.
- Yes, hi.
- Hello.
And this is Charlene
Frazier, our office manager.
Well, hello.
If I'd known the decor
around here looked like this,
I would have come
by a lot sooner.
[chuckling] Thank you.
Oh, and this is
our other partner,
Suzanne Sugarbaker.
Hi.
Hi, Suzanne Sugarbaker, yes.
Don't we have
some mutual friends?
Oh, yes, we do.
And they all just think
you're wonderful...
Especially Marcy Patterson.
Oh, yes, Marcy is a great girl,
but I don't know, Suzanne,
how you and I, uh,
missed meeting.
Hence, we're running late.
- Hence?
- Hmm?
Oh, right.
Yes.
Well, it was, uh,
great meeting you two.
[together] Nice to meet you.
Oh, Charlene, don't
forget to call J.D.
- Right.
- [Julia] Mr. Winchester.
I'd just like to
say, before you go,
that we do appreciate
your business,
and we think of it
exactly as that... business,
and only business.
We like to keep our clients
in a strictly
professional basis,
if you know what I mean.
Hey, that's the only way to go.
I'm glad we
understand each other.
Right. You take it easy.
He shouldn't have done that.
That was a mistake.
I keep a little list
of people who pat my
behind without permission.
And several of them have died
unnatural and untimely deaths.
Oh, come on, Julia, lighten up.
It's just his way
of being social.
Well, I just cannot
believe the two of you.
After you know the trouble
that he's caused Mary Jo,
and here you sit,
drooling in your socks.
Julia, I can't help it if
I think he's attractive.
I didn't say I wanted
to go out with him.
Anyway, he's not my type.
Charlene, that is not the issue.
Well, I think he's just darling.
I'd go out with him in a second.
Of course you would.
You'd also like to have drinks
with Muammar al-Gaddafi.
I never said anything
about drinks, Julia.
I just said I liked
his sunglasses.
Give me a break.
That's it!
Nobody has that much trouble
finding the stick shift.
[knocking]
- Hi.
- Hi.
Everybody, come on in.
I know you were thinking
romantic dinner for two,
but how about pizza
for five, my treat?
Uh, gee, well,
I had everything
fixed up all here.
I thought it was just us.
Yes, well, uh, Janet
had other ideas.
You see, ever since our divorce,
she gets a kick out
of figuring out ways
to send the kids on
my dates with me.
So, tonight's her poker night,
and she got the
week all mixed up.
- I apologize.
- It's all right.
I just wish I'd known. I
sent my kids to their dad's.
That's all right.
These guys won't be any trouble.
I'll just make them
stay under a table
until I'm ready to go.
Dad.
It's a joke, okay?
Give me a break.
[clears throat]
Oh. Hannah, Hannah.
Mary Jo, this outspoken
little person here is Hannah.
- Hi, there, Hannah.
- Hi.
And the big guy
over here is Rex.
- Hi.
- Hi, Rex.
Yeah, and this is
Burt. Burt, come here.
Hi, Burt, how are you?
Fine.
Don't pick your nose, son.
Why not?
Because I said so.
Why not?
Mary Jo, I know you've
gone to a lot of trouble here,
and I'm real sorry
about all this.
No, it's nothing at all.
We can just stay here
and eat. I made plenty.
Oh, yeah? What are we having?
Uh, duck à l'orange
and vichyssois.
Hey, hey, that's their favorite.
Great.
Well, why don't I just
blow these silly candles out.
Burt, why don't you get up there
and do that for me?
You look so beautiful.
Uh, you guys, could
you turn your heads?
I want to give Mary Jo a kiss.
- Oh, J.D.
- It's okay.
We're used to it.
All right, y'all can look again.
Nice to get that mushy stuff
out of the way, you know?
Won't have to do that again
for another 10 or
15 minutes now.
Oh, I almost forgot.
Mary Jo, I brought
you a little present.
It's a baseball cap
from the Atlanta Braves.
I know.
I have three of them.
J.D., you just can't walk
through life passing out hats
every time you think somebody's
going to be put out with you.
It's working pretty good so far.
Yeah, he's given us about 600.
You just remember,
you're old enough now
to be sent to lumberjack camp.
Hey, I got a great idea.
What do you say we
just 86 the orange duck
and throw a few
hot dogs on the grill?
Yeah. I like hot dogs.
Sometimes, I open
my mouth so wide,
you can see all the food in it.
But I'm not going
to do that to you.
Thanks, Burt. That's
very considerate.
And you thought they
weren't going to like you.
What are they doing?
Well, Rex is in Claudia's
room doing his homework,
and Burt's playing
with Quint's toys,
and Hannah wants to know
if she can spend the
night with me sometime.
Yeah, well, that's just fine,
as long as their
dad gets to first.
Okay, so why don't
you tell me a little more
about this jerk contractor
that was giving you
a bad time today.
Oh, I don't want
to talk about it.
Besides, he's
basically harmless.
Hey, hey. He ripped
your skirt, didn't he?
He said he didn't mean to.
Mary Jo, I don't understand
why you're defending him.
I mean, you must...
You must think I'm one
of these big macho guys
who thinks it's an
insult to his male pride
if he lets some other guy
think he can paw his woman.
No. I don't think that.
Well, you should because
I'm going to kill him.
[phone ringing]
I don't know why you're making
such a big deal of this.
I told you, I took
care of it, I quit.
- [ringing continues]
- It's over and done.
Hello?
Oh.
Hello, Hence.
Yes, I-I'm fine, really, yeah.
Yeah.
I'm sure I can just sew that up.
[knocking]
No. No, I haven't
gotten any flowers yet.
You really didn't
have to do that...
Oh, actually, I think
they just arrived.
Hence, really, you
didn't have to do that.
That was way too much. No.
Look,
I just want to forget
the whole thing, okay?
Are you crying?
I'm sorry, I... I didn't know.
- Give me the phone.
- Yes.
No, Hence, could we talk
about this another time?
Yes, all right, I'll bring the
samples by in the morning.
Yes, all right. Yes,
I'll finish the job.
But no more funny
business, okay? All right.
And I'm so sorry about your dog.
- See you tomorrow.
- I don't believe this.
This is the way you handle a guy
who sexually attacked
you this afternoon?
His dog died.
He'd had him for 18 years.
He said he was
overwrought with grief.
Oh, I see.
Well, I got to
admit, that's original.
So, I guess all his
advances toward you
have been made on days
when other childhood
pets have passed away.
I know, it's not a good story.
Come to think of it,
I've never seen him with a dog.
Well, I have, but that's
just a matter of opinion.
Mary Jo, you are not going
to go over there tomorrow.
Yes, I am.
Look, I know he's a jerk,
but he sounded genuinely sorry.
And after what happened,
I'm sure he wouldn't
dare try anything again.
Stop, stop, okay?
You're breaking my heart.
I mean, you are so gullible,
I don't even know now if
I can go to bed with you.
I'll feel like a heel.
Of course, I could always
grit my teeth and try.
I do appreciate your concern,
but I don't need you to
fight my battles for me.
Let's not talk about
it anymore, all right?
No.
No, I want to talk
about it, Mary Jo.
We've been going
out for a while now,
and I think maybe it's time
we put something
on the line, here.
Now you know
how I feel about you.
And I just don't want anybody
even thinking that
you're available.
So I am asking you not to go.
Don't give me an ultimatum, J.D.
I have a responsibility
to... to Suzanne, and
Julia, and Charlene.
We got $150,000 dollar
note at Atlanta International.
This is not the kind of job
that I can afford
just to throw away.
Is that your answer?
Yes.
Well, that was the wrong one.
I don't mean to seem immature,
but I'd like my hat
back, if you don't mind.
I just want you to
know something.
I am not happy with you.
Not happy.
I forgot my kids.
Uh-huh.
Uh-huh.
Then, what'd she say?
Uh-huh.
I should never have let
Mary Jo go out there alone.
Well, how could you
have stopped her?
She's so stubborn.
I guess she has
some kind of misguided
sense of responsibility to us,
but nothing is worth
putting up with this
kind of harassment.
What worries me the
most is that she's so polite.
What does polite
have to do with it?
Well, you know, some
women are so well-mannered
and easily intimidated,
that if a man they
know comes on to them,
they're afraid of
causing trouble.
It's just not as cut and dry
as being attacked by a stranger.
Well, Marcy Patterson
says she knows
a lot of people who have been
out with Hence Winchester,
and they all think he's
a perfect gentleman.
Of course, she
didn't know anyone
who'd ever turned him down.
I say we get in the
car and drive out there.
Well, why?
Now Marcy says he's a nice guy.
Suzanne, nice
guys don't rip skirts.
Well, it could've just
been a misunderstanding.
I used to be naive like that
till I rode the bus and sat
next to Jim Herb Hodge
from Fort Benning, Georgia.
Don't make this a
long one, please.
At first, he just had his arm
up on the back of my seat.
I thought, "Well,
he's just resting it."
I mean, I try to
be nice to soldiers,
even in peace time.
Anyway, pretty soon,
it started slowly creeping down.
I'm thinking to myself,
"This man is a sex pervert."
The next thing I knew,
it went right back up
on the back of the seat.
I thought to myself, "Charlene,
that was so silly of you
to think he was a pervert."
Then I just went
right off to sleep.
Is that the end?
No, when I woke up,
he'd gotten into my suitcase
and had my bra on his head.
Okay. That does it. Let's go.
I'm sorry. Did that
story upset you?
No. I just don't want
you to tell another one.
[Mary Jo] Hence?
Hence!
[Hence] Mary Jo?
Oh, uh, the front door was open.
I'll just wait for
you downstairs.
No, don't do that. Come in here.
We have to match
the tile samples in here.
Just sit down and
relax, I'll be right out.
Okay.
♪♪ [soft rock]
Oh, no.
Excuse me, I thought we
made a deal on the phone.
Let's forget the
deal, let's dance.
Hence, I don't know what
kind of game you're playing,
but it's not funny anymore.
Get your hands off me.
Come on, I just want a
few minutes of your time.
I just want to talk
to you, no big deal.
What do you think you're doing?
Now come on, don't
give me a hard time.
Just lighten up.
I just want to get to know you.
Why don't we just
test out the mattress?
I don't want to test
out the mattress.
I want you to let
me out of here.
Mary Jo, what are you afraid of?
Come on, I'm not
going to hurt you.
Why don't you come on up here,
get in my hot tub, relax,
and I'll fix us a
couple drinks, okay?
I don't want to
get into the hot tub,
and I don't want a drink.
Give me the key.
Okay.
I'll give you what you want
if you give me what I want.
You know what you are?
You're a rapist.
If you think that you are
going to force me to do
anything I don't want to
do, you are dead wrong.
I'm not like those
women in the movies
that get strangled
in nine seconds.
What do you think, just because
you look like Robert Redford,
it's not rape?
Nobody's turned me down yet.
I'm sure nobody
ever had the chance.
Come on, I'm getting a
little tired of these games.
I warn you. You
get away from me.
Why don't you just give in?
You know you want
me, and you know...
[knocking]
[J.D.] Mary Jo,
Are you in there?
Open up. Mary Jo?
[panting]
[whimpering]
Are you all right?
Oh, honey, come here.
I was at the ball park.
I just got so worried
about you, I couldn't work.
Am I interrupting something?
Hence, he w-wouldn't
let go of me.
I'm going to kill the bastard.
[Hence] What is going on?
You want to know
what's going on?
I'll tell you what's going on.
Who are you?
I'm with her, that's who I am.
What's your dog's name?
What dog?
Told you he didn't have a dog.
J.D.
I'm growing very fond of you.
And I'm very fond of you.
Hey, this is working
out great, huh?
[all] Oh.
It looks like Mary Jo
has got the situation
under control.
What are y'all doing here?
Well, we came to rescue you.
He looks better
with his clothes on.
You think so? I don't.
I know that's not the issue.
Who knocked him out?
Well, we both did.
Mary Jo, are you all right?
Yeah, I'm fine.
You all were sweet to come.
Well, we were worried
about you, with good reason.
I'm just glad J.D. got
here first to save you.
This is so romantic.
Well, I mean, he
didn't exactly save me.
[in deep voice] Yes, I did,
and I'll tell you
something else.
I'd do it again, little lady.
I think we should get out
of here before he comes to.
I think he's going
to be in a bad mood.
Great idea.
I've had as much of
this guy as I can stand.
- Julia, aren't you coming?
- Yes, I am.
I'm just leaving
our business card.
I'm taking the liberty of
writing him a little message.
[Mary Jo] What's it say/
"Dear Mr. Winchester,
just wanted you to know,
Sugarbakers' always
finishes the job."