Dear White People (2017–…): Season 1, Episode 2 - Chapter II - full transcript
[classical music playing]
[narrator] Ah, the racially
insensitive party,
a mainstay of primarily
white institutions
since time immemorial,
a chance for the majority
to celebrate marginalized communities
by reinforcing the very stereotypes
that oppress them.
[chattering]
[hip-hop music playing]
[man] Is that supposed
to be Nicki Minaj?
Nicki Mi... hell no.
All right, y'all.
Let's do this.
[narrator] Lionel Higgins
wasn't always a revolutionary.
Don't let the Afro fool you.
In fact, Lionel's made
multiple failed attempts
to tame his hair while at Winchester.
- [clippers buzzing]
- [chattering]
Yo, whichever one of y'all
sent that nigga to my chair
is foul as fuck, man.
Y'all know I don't cut fags. Ugh!
Nah, nigga.
Waiting for somebody.
[narrator] It's not that Lionel's
afraid of black people...
just those that remind him
of the kids from high school.
What the fuck are you supposed to be?
- Geordi La Forge.
- Who?
He was the chief engineer on
the starship Enterprise D.
- Pause.
- You look like a gay figure skater.
Is that a girl's headband
over your face, nigga?
It's a visual instrument
and sensory organ replacement.
- Geordi's blind.
- Oh, so you can't see how gay you look.
- Those tight-ass pants.
- [laughing]
[narrator] And thus, being assigned
to Winchester's black residence hall,
Lionel was riddled with the
slings and arrows of his past.
"For all those looking
to unleash their inner Negro...
from years of oppression,
Pastiche presents 'Dear Black People, '
our 89th annual Hallow's
Eve Costume Party."
Jesus.
[narrator] Despite his
lifelong timidity,
his discovery of Pastiche's
Dear Black People Party
lit a fire under Lionel's ass
that burned straight
through to the coccyx...
[Lionel] Hey, hi. Um...
there's something happening on campus
I think you guys should know about.
[narrator] The start of his backbone.
Let's do this.
[clamoring]
[man] Hell yeah, let's go.
Man, just take that shit off.
Yeah, feel that, you
motherfuckin' niggas.
Ah!
[grunts] Ha!
[man] Everyone back in
the house right now!
Drinks down! Back in the house!
[narrator] And that's how
this student journalist
not only broke the news of the party,
but became it, too.
Hey.
You did that shit, man.
[jazz playing]
♪ Yeah! ♪
♪ Yeah! ♪
[Sam] Dear white people,
here's a list of acceptable
Halloween costumes.
A pirate, slutty nurse,
any of our first 43 presidents.
Top of the list of
unacceptable costumes: me.
Winchester couldn't get
through 2017 without blackface?
Yo, we got the next Ta-Nehisi
Coates in this motherfucker.
Great piece, man.
Thanks.
Welcome to the revolution.
[Al] Hey, Lionel, what
you doing over there?
I was just...
Over here, man.
...waiting for Troy.
[Sam] Friday night, Pastiche,
the so-called satirists of Winchester,
decided to host a party.
It was designed to mock this show...
Do we have to listen
to this race-baiting drivel
while we eat?
Yo, Troy, you got the campus
police to stop the party?
Rare to see a group of
cops led by one of us.
Mm, certainly more effective
than inciting a riot.
Don't mind James. He's a Republican.
Ah, fiscal conservative.
Oh, that's fancy talk
for "fuck poor people."
- [James] Here we go.
- [man] What?
I mean, you have a framed picture
of Reagan in your dorm room.
[James] You have a framed picture
of Stacey Dash in yours.
What's your point?
[man] It's not Stacey Dash. It's Dionne.
Nothing after Clueless matters.
Mm-hmm.
Yo, nobody on this entire campus
has the balls to do
what you did, Lionel.
And this article?
The pussy you about to get, my man.
Mm, on this, we can agree.
Nothing pulls pussy around here
like prose well penned.
Mm.
And that's the gayest mention of
the word "pussy" I've ever heard.
[James] Blow me.
[man] You wish, fag.
You gonna be knee-deep as soon as
we do something about all that.
I mean, you know I cut hair.
Yeah.
It's gaining sentience.
[all laughing]
[light banging and scraping]
[Troy and woman murmuring]
- [woman] Mmm.
- [Troy] Did I do it right?
[woman] Yes.
[Troy] All right, good.
- [Troy] Ah.
- [woman] Mm-hmm.
- [Troy] Oh, it feels so good.
- [woman] Yeah.
- [Troy] Ooh.
- [woman] Oh.
- [Troy] Shit.
- [woman] Ooh.
[Troy and woman moan]
[Troy] Oh, fuck, right there.
- [Troy] There we go, uh-huh.
- [woman] Yeah, ooh.
[Troy] Let's pick up some speed.
- [woman] Yes!
- [Troy] Okay.
[Troy moaning]
- [woman] Yes.
- [Troy] All right, you like it?
[woman] Yes. Yes!
[Troy and woman muttering]
[woman moaning and Troy grunting]
Fuck, you got me so hard, baby.
- [Troy] Right there.
- Right there.
- [Troy] Ooh, shit.
- [woman] Yes.
- Give it to Daddy.
- [woman] Yes.
[shudders]
- [woman] Fuck me! Fuck me!
- Oh, shit.
[both moaning and gasping]
[woman] Oh, fuck me. Mmm.
[Troy and woman panting]
[Silvio] Okay, what do we got
here, folks? Uh, let's see.
Kim, your think piece
on think pieces about think pieces?
Brills. I died.
Isaac, your analysis
on the morality of fine dining
at the Bechet House was
incredibly fair, yet eye-opening.
The lead came a tad late, though...
something I have never been
accused of, by the way.
This is a tax-exempt institution
spending money on fresh croissants
when it should go to poor students.
We need to know that at the top.
And, Lionel, our cover boy.
I want to highlight one passage.
"While endless depictions
of white men in particular exist,
there aren't that many versions of us
in the culture.
Culture has a powerful way
of telling people what
they can and can't be.
For people of color,
the options are rather limited."
Who can tell me what's wrong here?
It's not hard news.
[Silvio] Right.
It reads at times like an opinion piece.
Well... why'd you put it on the cover?
It's the biggest story of the day.
Doesn't mean it's well written.
Otherwise, great job.
Love the picture, Peter.
Who, what, when, where, why and how.
You got two out of six.
And it's superficial.
It just reads like,
"Pastiche, bad. Black kids, good."
To be fair, "Pastiche, bad.
Black kids, good."
Come on. This isn't a frat.
These are smart kids.
Why would they do this?
You asked me to cover race
relations at Armstrong-Parker.
This is what they are.
At Armstrong-Parker,
not for Armstrong-Parker.
This paper's for everyone at Winchester,
not just your friends, okay?
"Friends" is optimistic.
- Where are the intersections?
- Intersections?
You're not just a black man.
You're a gay black man.
Homophobic incidents at AP
are as common as they are
among the Pastiche staff.
Where's the conflict
of these identities represented?
I'm sorry.
Gay?
Oh. I'm sorry. Are you straight?
I really don't subscribe
to those kinds of labels.
Labels keep people in Florida
from drinking Windex.
Personally, I'm a Mexican-Italian
gay verse top otter pup.
Individually I know
what those words mean.
Let me guess. You're in the "crush
on your straight roommate" phase?
No.
How can you hope to arrive at a truth
when you can't find your own?
Trust me.
Find your label.
[Lionel sighs]
Matter of fact,
what are you doing tomorrow night?
Writing better stories?
The theater kids are throwing
some kind of speakeasy thing.
A bunch of free spirits
who don't believe in labels.
You should come, drink some Windex.
Oh, um...
This isn't like a date or...
No.
Right. Right.
No, 'cause...
I have a thing, but I'll think about it.
Pastiche are the bad guys here.
- We should go after them.
- [Sam] For what?
Their editor is Kurt Fletcher,
son of the president.
Nothing is going to happen
to him or Pastiche.
In the real world, kids
are getting shot by cops
for being black.
[Lionel] Just a follow-up question.
You don't seem to be that interested
in going after Pastiche.
Why is that?
I just...
I think we have a bigger
opportunity here.
Can we talk about this later?
[recorder beeps]
Hey. How's it going?
Oh, I'm okay.
- Actually...
- Cool. Cool.
You're Troy's roommate, right?
Do you know if he's dating anyone?
I mean, has he said anything?
I really just keep to myself.
So he doesn't talk
about who he's dating.
You be sure to let me know if he does.
- Okay.
- Thanks, sweets.
You're the best. Heart you forevs.
[woman] Yeah. Mmm, right there.
- [bed creaking]
- [woman moaning]
- [Troy] You gonna vote for Troy?
- [woman] Oh, yes.
- [Troy] You gonna vote for Troy?
- [woman] Yeah.
- [Troy] All right, baby.
- [woman] Yes.
[Troy] I wasn't ready.
- [Troy] Now I am. Oh, shit.
- [woman] Mmm, right there.
Give it to me. Harder, yeah!
- [Troy] Just like that!
- Harder.
- [Troy] Uh-huh!
- Mmm, you like that?
- [Troy] Oh! Shit!
- I know you like that.
[woman] You love that, baby, don't you?
I'm ready.
[woman] Give it to me there.
- [Troy] Oh, baby. Oh, shit.
- Mmm, yeah.
- [Troy] You gonna vote for Troy.
- I'll vote for you.
[Troy] Does it feel good? Did you cum?
- [Troy] 'Cause I'm about to cum.
- [grunting]
[Troy] Did you cum? I'm about to cum.
- [woman] No, not yet.
- Oh!
[woman] Yeah, yeah, yes!
Yeah, yeah, yeah!
[both panting]
- [light thuds]
- [Troy] Whoo!
- [woman moans]
- [Troy] Shit, girl.
[woman moans]
[sighs]
Oddly specific.
[phone chimes]
[muffled rock music playing]
Password?
[Lionel] Sonic 29?
[chattering]
[phone chimes]
[Silvio] Trust me.
Find your label.
[zipper unzips]
[door opens]
[door opens and closes]
[chattering]
Shit.
[sighs]
Shit. Shit.
[scoffs]
[man] Hey.
Forgot something?
[sighs]
[Lionel] Thanks.
I'm Conner.
This is Becca.
Hey.
You're all kinds of cute.
Lionel. Nice to meet you.
I'm gonna head back to the place.
Cool.
Girlfriend?
More of a room mate...
with benefits.
I don't know, though.
I mean, don't get me wrong.
I love the ladies, but...
I don't exactly subscribe
to heteronormative labels.
[coughs]
You into girls, guys?
It's a theater party.
Gotta ask.
[exhales]
Kind of like you.
Don't really buy into labels.
[sighs]
You should come back to the place.
Drink a few beers.
[phone chimes]
Why not?
- [Conner scoffs]
- [water bubbling]
[Conner] Who are these fuckheads
who don't know anything about the
history of minstrelsy in this country?
- [Lionel] Exactly.
- What's this?
[Conner] Pastiche threw a
blackface party over the weekend.
[Becca] Like Zoe Saldana or Al Jolson?
Like black paint on their faces.
[Becca] That kind of thing
doesn't happen here.
It did, Becca, and our dude
Lionel here helped bust it up.
I'm so not that guy either.
I mean, I just couldn't
not do something.
White people are the fucking worst.
[Conner] Right?
What's fucked up is,
on one hand, I get it.
I mean, we're all just
fucking human beings.
Our skin, our eyes,
our fucking genitalia...
it's all a mask, you know?
- [phone ringing]
- [scoffs]
Don't tell me you gotta go.
No, I'm good.
Good.
You don't mind, do you?
I get super handsy when I smoke.
[laughs]
I, uh, just get cotton mouth
and nightmares.
[Conner] Hey, so...
Lionel.
Becca and I really dig you.
Cool.
Do you like us, Lionel?
Yeah?
[Conner] Are you...
up for some fun?
Fun?
Fun.
Anybody ever tell you
you look like Wiz Khalifa?
No.
[Becca] Do you want to fuck me, Lionel?
Oh, yeah.
He wants to fuck you.
How bad do you want to fuck me, Lionel?
Uh, bad.
Oh, shit.
He wants it bad.
[Becca] Yeah?
You want me, Lionel?
Do you want to taste me?
Yeah, he wants to taste you.
Well, he's just gonna have
to earn it, isn't he?
What's he gonna have to do, baby?
I want to see the two of you together.
[laughs] Oh, shit.
Are you even down with that?
[laughing]
What?
"Are you even down with that?"
[chuckling]
Look, you don't need
the wingwoman, okay?
You're obviously just into guys.
And you...
I'm not sure what you're
getting out of this.
He's right.
Becca. This was your idea.
I said I thought it might be hot
to see you make out with
a guy once at a party.
Not multiple guys over
the course of two years.
I'm a total fag hag.
No labels, Becca.
That was our rule.
Yeah, without labels, people in Florida
would drink fucking Windex.
Becca, come on.
You totally ruined the mood!
[sighs]
She's off her meds.
I'll work this out.
I'm good.
Dude, where were you?
[Lionel] The speakeasy.
Lost my phone. Took a while to find it.
Shit, and you were all by
yourself with the theater freaks.
How many white fingers
did that poor 'fro have to endure?
Looks mussed.
It's been an interesting night.
So what's the fire?
I knew there was more to the
story with the Pastiche party.
Look at this.
The dean's office is privately
interviewing students involved.
These are the transcripts
from all the interviews.
Okay, you hacked into the dean's office?
That's a thing you can do?
Well, not me.
Some CS major ran
a redirected shell script
to analyze the active network interface,
routed all the HTTP traffic to a proxy
and linked it to me.
Makes sense.
He also fancies himself
the next Edward Snowden.
He's been trying
to get this Italian sausage
since freshman year.
I thought you were Mexican-Italian.
Fine. Tamale. Whatever.
The Pastiche boys apparently
canceled the event
after the administration got wind of it.
But then somebody broke
into their Facebook account
and sent out an invite anyway.
And we're sure it wasn't one of them?
I'm not.
But I'm hoping the truth is
somewhere in these transcripts.
[sighs]
Why would they want to interview Sam?
[echoing click]
[Dean Fairbanks] Miss White,
do you have any idea what kind of unrest
this party has caused on campus?
Why am I even here?
When I heard the words
"race" and "scandal,"
somehow you popped into my head.
Now, the Pastiche Facebook
account was easy to get into.
Their password was "Pastiche."
Apparently, before the invite
was sent out, however,
the password changed.
And nobody could figure
out the new password.
So I thought I'd try something.
Five, seven, eight,
three, five, two, six,
one, nine, four, six.
I get it.
[Dean Fairbanks] Eleven numbers.
Just like our student ID numbers.
Just like your student ID number.
It wasn't speeches that turned
the tide for civil rights.
It was the anarchists,
willing to provoke the police,
get sprayed by hoses...
anything to cause a
scene and make press.
That invite,
whoever sent it,
should have been met
with derision and outrage.
Instead, 100 people showed up
and showed their asses,
and in doing so, showed this
supposed post-racial institution
exactly where it's at.
- [echoing click]
- Fuck.
Sam White did it.
Why would she do that?
No one would have found out
about what they were
planning if she hadn't.
This party wouldn't have happened at all
if she hadn't thrown it.
She didn't throw it.
She exposed it.
And if we print this,
people will completely dismiss
what she's been trying to say.
We can't control what people
do with the truth, Lionel.
We can only report it.
- They're gonna hate me.
- Get used to it.
You think that stopped the guys
who broke the Panama Papers
or reported the abuse
of the Catholic church
or the first person to tell that story
about Richard Gere and the gerbil?
We're on the wrong side here.
If you were at that party...
This is a scoop no
other paper on campus
would even think about
letting you print.
This could be a game changer
for The Independent
and a career maker for you.
I only want writers who have
the guts to tell the truth,
like Will Smith in that football
movie everyone meant to see.
That's why you write, isn't it?
[Gabe] Don't worry.
I'm gonna delete the post.
[Lionel] Sam?
[Sam] Shit.
My editor wants to run with the story
as soon as possible.
But...
if someone else breaks it
before we do...
you know?
You'd ruin your own scoop?
I guess I just don't like the idea
of telling someone else's truth.
[sighs]
Journalism's gonna be a
big challenge for you.
[chuckles] Tell me about it.
I like you, Lionel.
A lot.
[woman moaning]
- [woman] Oh, yeah!
- [Troy panting]
- [woman screaming]
- [Troy moaning]
- [gasping]
- [panting]
[woman] Oh, my God.
[knocks on door]
[Troy] What's up? You need something?
Yeah, just wanted
to take you up on that haircut.
[Troy] Oh-ho, shit.
Bet, man, bet. Um, one sec.
Meet me at the bathroom.
Come on in.
Hmm.
[Sam] Dear white people, wow.
Y'all really trying it.
[Lionel] Felt so rehearsed
yet very terribly performed.
That sounds like our theater majors.
Hey, man, what are you, a one, two?
I have no idea what that means.
What, you don't know your setting, man?
How short do you want it?
I don't know.
Well, you gotta know your setting.
Ah, two.
Good place to start.
So what did you do?
Was the chick hot at least?
[sighs]
Troy...
[sighs]
I'm gay.
I don't know why that's
so hard for me to say.
I've always known.
Yo, what you say, my man?
Just...
I'm... I'm into guys.
Oh.
- Cool.
- Yeah.
Vaginas are, like, art in a museum.
Beautiful to look at, but don't touch.
Yeah, well, agree to disagree.
Now I gotta get these edges super crispy
because you motherfuckers
are picky as shit.
I'm not like that.
Nah.
You're an original, man.
Anybody can see that.
- Want to listen to some music?
- Sure.
[Sam] Look. I sent the invite.
- [Sam] I wrote it.
- [phone chimes]
Broke into Pastiche's
account and sent it.
It was fascinating to see what
was lurking beneath the surface.
[R&B music playing]
All right.
[clippers buzzing]
[R&B music continuing]
♪ As my love grows ♪
♪ Many rains and sun shows ♪
♪ As a dream that's full of happiness ♪
♪ Oh, how I long to be yours... ♪
[panting, light patting]
♪ And in any kind of way that you say ♪
♪ I'll be the part that plays... ♪
[grunting]
♪ Your winter's cold ♪
♪ Your sunshine's glow... ♪
[gasps and grunts]
♪ That flowers grow in spring ♪
♪ It's not shadow ♪
♪ Yes, this is love ♪
♪ Not just any kind of love ♪
♪ But as beautiful as
twinkling stars above ♪
♪ I've never seen such
a beautiful love ♪
- ♪ It just can't go wrong ♪
- ♪ Can't go wrong ♪
♪ It's good words for any love song ♪
[vocalizing]
♪ Yes, flowers grow ♪
♪ In spring ♪
♪ And you are my dream ♪
[vocalizing]
[narrator] Ah, the racially
insensitive party,
a mainstay of primarily
white institutions
since time immemorial,
a chance for the majority
to celebrate marginalized communities
by reinforcing the very stereotypes
that oppress them.
[chattering]
[hip-hop music playing]
[man] Is that supposed
to be Nicki Minaj?
Nicki Mi... hell no.
All right, y'all.
Let's do this.
[narrator] Lionel Higgins
wasn't always a revolutionary.
Don't let the Afro fool you.
In fact, Lionel's made
multiple failed attempts
to tame his hair while at Winchester.
- [clippers buzzing]
- [chattering]
Yo, whichever one of y'all
sent that nigga to my chair
is foul as fuck, man.
Y'all know I don't cut fags. Ugh!
Nah, nigga.
Waiting for somebody.
[narrator] It's not that Lionel's
afraid of black people...
just those that remind him
of the kids from high school.
What the fuck are you supposed to be?
- Geordi La Forge.
- Who?
He was the chief engineer on
the starship Enterprise D.
- Pause.
- You look like a gay figure skater.
Is that a girl's headband
over your face, nigga?
It's a visual instrument
and sensory organ replacement.
- Geordi's blind.
- Oh, so you can't see how gay you look.
- Those tight-ass pants.
- [laughing]
[narrator] And thus, being assigned
to Winchester's black residence hall,
Lionel was riddled with the
slings and arrows of his past.
"For all those looking
to unleash their inner Negro...
from years of oppression,
Pastiche presents 'Dear Black People, '
our 89th annual Hallow's
Eve Costume Party."
Jesus.
[narrator] Despite his
lifelong timidity,
his discovery of Pastiche's
Dear Black People Party
lit a fire under Lionel's ass
that burned straight
through to the coccyx...
[Lionel] Hey, hi. Um...
there's something happening on campus
I think you guys should know about.
[narrator] The start of his backbone.
Let's do this.
[clamoring]
[man] Hell yeah, let's go.
Man, just take that shit off.
Yeah, feel that, you
motherfuckin' niggas.
Ah!
[grunts] Ha!
[man] Everyone back in
the house right now!
Drinks down! Back in the house!
[narrator] And that's how
this student journalist
not only broke the news of the party,
but became it, too.
Hey.
You did that shit, man.
[jazz playing]
♪ Yeah! ♪
♪ Yeah! ♪
[Sam] Dear white people,
here's a list of acceptable
Halloween costumes.
A pirate, slutty nurse,
any of our first 43 presidents.
Top of the list of
unacceptable costumes: me.
Winchester couldn't get
through 2017 without blackface?
Yo, we got the next Ta-Nehisi
Coates in this motherfucker.
Great piece, man.
Thanks.
Welcome to the revolution.
[Al] Hey, Lionel, what
you doing over there?
I was just...
Over here, man.
...waiting for Troy.
[Sam] Friday night, Pastiche,
the so-called satirists of Winchester,
decided to host a party.
It was designed to mock this show...
Do we have to listen
to this race-baiting drivel
while we eat?
Yo, Troy, you got the campus
police to stop the party?
Rare to see a group of
cops led by one of us.
Mm, certainly more effective
than inciting a riot.
Don't mind James. He's a Republican.
Ah, fiscal conservative.
Oh, that's fancy talk
for "fuck poor people."
- [James] Here we go.
- [man] What?
I mean, you have a framed picture
of Reagan in your dorm room.
[James] You have a framed picture
of Stacey Dash in yours.
What's your point?
[man] It's not Stacey Dash. It's Dionne.
Nothing after Clueless matters.
Mm-hmm.
Yo, nobody on this entire campus
has the balls to do
what you did, Lionel.
And this article?
The pussy you about to get, my man.
Mm, on this, we can agree.
Nothing pulls pussy around here
like prose well penned.
Mm.
And that's the gayest mention of
the word "pussy" I've ever heard.
[James] Blow me.
[man] You wish, fag.
You gonna be knee-deep as soon as
we do something about all that.
I mean, you know I cut hair.
Yeah.
It's gaining sentience.
[all laughing]
[light banging and scraping]
[Troy and woman murmuring]
- [woman] Mmm.
- [Troy] Did I do it right?
[woman] Yes.
[Troy] All right, good.
- [Troy] Ah.
- [woman] Mm-hmm.
- [Troy] Oh, it feels so good.
- [woman] Yeah.
- [Troy] Ooh.
- [woman] Oh.
- [Troy] Shit.
- [woman] Ooh.
[Troy and woman moan]
[Troy] Oh, fuck, right there.
- [Troy] There we go, uh-huh.
- [woman] Yeah, ooh.
[Troy] Let's pick up some speed.
- [woman] Yes!
- [Troy] Okay.
[Troy moaning]
- [woman] Yes.
- [Troy] All right, you like it?
[woman] Yes. Yes!
[Troy and woman muttering]
[woman moaning and Troy grunting]
Fuck, you got me so hard, baby.
- [Troy] Right there.
- Right there.
- [Troy] Ooh, shit.
- [woman] Yes.
- Give it to Daddy.
- [woman] Yes.
[shudders]
- [woman] Fuck me! Fuck me!
- Oh, shit.
[both moaning and gasping]
[woman] Oh, fuck me. Mmm.
[Troy and woman panting]
[Silvio] Okay, what do we got
here, folks? Uh, let's see.
Kim, your think piece
on think pieces about think pieces?
Brills. I died.
Isaac, your analysis
on the morality of fine dining
at the Bechet House was
incredibly fair, yet eye-opening.
The lead came a tad late, though...
something I have never been
accused of, by the way.
This is a tax-exempt institution
spending money on fresh croissants
when it should go to poor students.
We need to know that at the top.
And, Lionel, our cover boy.
I want to highlight one passage.
"While endless depictions
of white men in particular exist,
there aren't that many versions of us
in the culture.
Culture has a powerful way
of telling people what
they can and can't be.
For people of color,
the options are rather limited."
Who can tell me what's wrong here?
It's not hard news.
[Silvio] Right.
It reads at times like an opinion piece.
Well... why'd you put it on the cover?
It's the biggest story of the day.
Doesn't mean it's well written.
Otherwise, great job.
Love the picture, Peter.
Who, what, when, where, why and how.
You got two out of six.
And it's superficial.
It just reads like,
"Pastiche, bad. Black kids, good."
To be fair, "Pastiche, bad.
Black kids, good."
Come on. This isn't a frat.
These are smart kids.
Why would they do this?
You asked me to cover race
relations at Armstrong-Parker.
This is what they are.
At Armstrong-Parker,
not for Armstrong-Parker.
This paper's for everyone at Winchester,
not just your friends, okay?
"Friends" is optimistic.
- Where are the intersections?
- Intersections?
You're not just a black man.
You're a gay black man.
Homophobic incidents at AP
are as common as they are
among the Pastiche staff.
Where's the conflict
of these identities represented?
I'm sorry.
Gay?
Oh. I'm sorry. Are you straight?
I really don't subscribe
to those kinds of labels.
Labels keep people in Florida
from drinking Windex.
Personally, I'm a Mexican-Italian
gay verse top otter pup.
Individually I know
what those words mean.
Let me guess. You're in the "crush
on your straight roommate" phase?
No.
How can you hope to arrive at a truth
when you can't find your own?
Trust me.
Find your label.
[Lionel sighs]
Matter of fact,
what are you doing tomorrow night?
Writing better stories?
The theater kids are throwing
some kind of speakeasy thing.
A bunch of free spirits
who don't believe in labels.
You should come, drink some Windex.
Oh, um...
This isn't like a date or...
No.
Right. Right.
No, 'cause...
I have a thing, but I'll think about it.
Pastiche are the bad guys here.
- We should go after them.
- [Sam] For what?
Their editor is Kurt Fletcher,
son of the president.
Nothing is going to happen
to him or Pastiche.
In the real world, kids
are getting shot by cops
for being black.
[Lionel] Just a follow-up question.
You don't seem to be that interested
in going after Pastiche.
Why is that?
I just...
I think we have a bigger
opportunity here.
Can we talk about this later?
[recorder beeps]
Hey. How's it going?
Oh, I'm okay.
- Actually...
- Cool. Cool.
You're Troy's roommate, right?
Do you know if he's dating anyone?
I mean, has he said anything?
I really just keep to myself.
So he doesn't talk
about who he's dating.
You be sure to let me know if he does.
- Okay.
- Thanks, sweets.
You're the best. Heart you forevs.
[woman] Yeah. Mmm, right there.
- [bed creaking]
- [woman moaning]
- [Troy] You gonna vote for Troy?
- [woman] Oh, yes.
- [Troy] You gonna vote for Troy?
- [woman] Yeah.
- [Troy] All right, baby.
- [woman] Yes.
[Troy] I wasn't ready.
- [Troy] Now I am. Oh, shit.
- [woman] Mmm, right there.
Give it to me. Harder, yeah!
- [Troy] Just like that!
- Harder.
- [Troy] Uh-huh!
- Mmm, you like that?
- [Troy] Oh! Shit!
- I know you like that.
[woman] You love that, baby, don't you?
I'm ready.
[woman] Give it to me there.
- [Troy] Oh, baby. Oh, shit.
- Mmm, yeah.
- [Troy] You gonna vote for Troy.
- I'll vote for you.
[Troy] Does it feel good? Did you cum?
- [Troy] 'Cause I'm about to cum.
- [grunting]
[Troy] Did you cum? I'm about to cum.
- [woman] No, not yet.
- Oh!
[woman] Yeah, yeah, yes!
Yeah, yeah, yeah!
[both panting]
- [light thuds]
- [Troy] Whoo!
- [woman moans]
- [Troy] Shit, girl.
[woman moans]
[sighs]
Oddly specific.
[phone chimes]
[muffled rock music playing]
Password?
[Lionel] Sonic 29?
[chattering]
[phone chimes]
[Silvio] Trust me.
Find your label.
[zipper unzips]
[door opens]
[door opens and closes]
[chattering]
Shit.
[sighs]
Shit. Shit.
[scoffs]
[man] Hey.
Forgot something?
[sighs]
[Lionel] Thanks.
I'm Conner.
This is Becca.
Hey.
You're all kinds of cute.
Lionel. Nice to meet you.
I'm gonna head back to the place.
Cool.
Girlfriend?
More of a room mate...
with benefits.
I don't know, though.
I mean, don't get me wrong.
I love the ladies, but...
I don't exactly subscribe
to heteronormative labels.
[coughs]
You into girls, guys?
It's a theater party.
Gotta ask.
[exhales]
Kind of like you.
Don't really buy into labels.
[sighs]
You should come back to the place.
Drink a few beers.
[phone chimes]
Why not?
- [Conner scoffs]
- [water bubbling]
[Conner] Who are these fuckheads
who don't know anything about the
history of minstrelsy in this country?
- [Lionel] Exactly.
- What's this?
[Conner] Pastiche threw a
blackface party over the weekend.
[Becca] Like Zoe Saldana or Al Jolson?
Like black paint on their faces.
[Becca] That kind of thing
doesn't happen here.
It did, Becca, and our dude
Lionel here helped bust it up.
I'm so not that guy either.
I mean, I just couldn't
not do something.
White people are the fucking worst.
[Conner] Right?
What's fucked up is,
on one hand, I get it.
I mean, we're all just
fucking human beings.
Our skin, our eyes,
our fucking genitalia...
it's all a mask, you know?
- [phone ringing]
- [scoffs]
Don't tell me you gotta go.
No, I'm good.
Good.
You don't mind, do you?
I get super handsy when I smoke.
[laughs]
I, uh, just get cotton mouth
and nightmares.
[Conner] Hey, so...
Lionel.
Becca and I really dig you.
Cool.
Do you like us, Lionel?
Yeah?
[Conner] Are you...
up for some fun?
Fun?
Fun.
Anybody ever tell you
you look like Wiz Khalifa?
No.
[Becca] Do you want to fuck me, Lionel?
Oh, yeah.
He wants to fuck you.
How bad do you want to fuck me, Lionel?
Uh, bad.
Oh, shit.
He wants it bad.
[Becca] Yeah?
You want me, Lionel?
Do you want to taste me?
Yeah, he wants to taste you.
Well, he's just gonna have
to earn it, isn't he?
What's he gonna have to do, baby?
I want to see the two of you together.
[laughs] Oh, shit.
Are you even down with that?
[laughing]
What?
"Are you even down with that?"
[chuckling]
Look, you don't need
the wingwoman, okay?
You're obviously just into guys.
And you...
I'm not sure what you're
getting out of this.
He's right.
Becca. This was your idea.
I said I thought it might be hot
to see you make out with
a guy once at a party.
Not multiple guys over
the course of two years.
I'm a total fag hag.
No labels, Becca.
That was our rule.
Yeah, without labels, people in Florida
would drink fucking Windex.
Becca, come on.
You totally ruined the mood!
[sighs]
She's off her meds.
I'll work this out.
I'm good.
Dude, where were you?
[Lionel] The speakeasy.
Lost my phone. Took a while to find it.
Shit, and you were all by
yourself with the theater freaks.
How many white fingers
did that poor 'fro have to endure?
Looks mussed.
It's been an interesting night.
So what's the fire?
I knew there was more to the
story with the Pastiche party.
Look at this.
The dean's office is privately
interviewing students involved.
These are the transcripts
from all the interviews.
Okay, you hacked into the dean's office?
That's a thing you can do?
Well, not me.
Some CS major ran
a redirected shell script
to analyze the active network interface,
routed all the HTTP traffic to a proxy
and linked it to me.
Makes sense.
He also fancies himself
the next Edward Snowden.
He's been trying
to get this Italian sausage
since freshman year.
I thought you were Mexican-Italian.
Fine. Tamale. Whatever.
The Pastiche boys apparently
canceled the event
after the administration got wind of it.
But then somebody broke
into their Facebook account
and sent out an invite anyway.
And we're sure it wasn't one of them?
I'm not.
But I'm hoping the truth is
somewhere in these transcripts.
[sighs]
Why would they want to interview Sam?
[echoing click]
[Dean Fairbanks] Miss White,
do you have any idea what kind of unrest
this party has caused on campus?
Why am I even here?
When I heard the words
"race" and "scandal,"
somehow you popped into my head.
Now, the Pastiche Facebook
account was easy to get into.
Their password was "Pastiche."
Apparently, before the invite
was sent out, however,
the password changed.
And nobody could figure
out the new password.
So I thought I'd try something.
Five, seven, eight,
three, five, two, six,
one, nine, four, six.
I get it.
[Dean Fairbanks] Eleven numbers.
Just like our student ID numbers.
Just like your student ID number.
It wasn't speeches that turned
the tide for civil rights.
It was the anarchists,
willing to provoke the police,
get sprayed by hoses...
anything to cause a
scene and make press.
That invite,
whoever sent it,
should have been met
with derision and outrage.
Instead, 100 people showed up
and showed their asses,
and in doing so, showed this
supposed post-racial institution
exactly where it's at.
- [echoing click]
- Fuck.
Sam White did it.
Why would she do that?
No one would have found out
about what they were
planning if she hadn't.
This party wouldn't have happened at all
if she hadn't thrown it.
She didn't throw it.
She exposed it.
And if we print this,
people will completely dismiss
what she's been trying to say.
We can't control what people
do with the truth, Lionel.
We can only report it.
- They're gonna hate me.
- Get used to it.
You think that stopped the guys
who broke the Panama Papers
or reported the abuse
of the Catholic church
or the first person to tell that story
about Richard Gere and the gerbil?
We're on the wrong side here.
If you were at that party...
This is a scoop no
other paper on campus
would even think about
letting you print.
This could be a game changer
for The Independent
and a career maker for you.
I only want writers who have
the guts to tell the truth,
like Will Smith in that football
movie everyone meant to see.
That's why you write, isn't it?
[Gabe] Don't worry.
I'm gonna delete the post.
[Lionel] Sam?
[Sam] Shit.
My editor wants to run with the story
as soon as possible.
But...
if someone else breaks it
before we do...
you know?
You'd ruin your own scoop?
I guess I just don't like the idea
of telling someone else's truth.
[sighs]
Journalism's gonna be a
big challenge for you.
[chuckles] Tell me about it.
I like you, Lionel.
A lot.
[woman moaning]
- [woman] Oh, yeah!
- [Troy panting]
- [woman screaming]
- [Troy moaning]
- [gasping]
- [panting]
[woman] Oh, my God.
[knocks on door]
[Troy] What's up? You need something?
Yeah, just wanted
to take you up on that haircut.
[Troy] Oh-ho, shit.
Bet, man, bet. Um, one sec.
Meet me at the bathroom.
Come on in.
Hmm.
[Sam] Dear white people, wow.
Y'all really trying it.
[Lionel] Felt so rehearsed
yet very terribly performed.
That sounds like our theater majors.
Hey, man, what are you, a one, two?
I have no idea what that means.
What, you don't know your setting, man?
How short do you want it?
I don't know.
Well, you gotta know your setting.
Ah, two.
Good place to start.
So what did you do?
Was the chick hot at least?
[sighs]
Troy...
[sighs]
I'm gay.
I don't know why that's
so hard for me to say.
I've always known.
Yo, what you say, my man?
Just...
I'm... I'm into guys.
Oh.
- Cool.
- Yeah.
Vaginas are, like, art in a museum.
Beautiful to look at, but don't touch.
Yeah, well, agree to disagree.
Now I gotta get these edges super crispy
because you motherfuckers
are picky as shit.
I'm not like that.
Nah.
You're an original, man.
Anybody can see that.
- Want to listen to some music?
- Sure.
[Sam] Look. I sent the invite.
- [Sam] I wrote it.
- [phone chimes]
Broke into Pastiche's
account and sent it.
It was fascinating to see what
was lurking beneath the surface.
[R&B music playing]
All right.
[clippers buzzing]
[R&B music continuing]
♪ As my love grows ♪
♪ Many rains and sun shows ♪
♪ As a dream that's full of happiness ♪
♪ Oh, how I long to be yours... ♪
[panting, light patting]
♪ And in any kind of way that you say ♪
♪ I'll be the part that plays... ♪
[grunting]
♪ Your winter's cold ♪
♪ Your sunshine's glow... ♪
[gasps and grunts]
♪ That flowers grow in spring ♪
♪ It's not shadow ♪
♪ Yes, this is love ♪
♪ Not just any kind of love ♪
♪ But as beautiful as
twinkling stars above ♪
♪ I've never seen such
a beautiful love ♪
- ♪ It just can't go wrong ♪
- ♪ Can't go wrong ♪
♪ It's good words for any love song ♪
[vocalizing]
♪ Yes, flowers grow ♪
♪ In spring ♪
♪ And you are my dream ♪
[vocalizing]