De Viaje Con Los Derbez (2019–…): Season 1, Episode 5 - Yalla Yalla - full transcript

Where are we going?

Because I don't like
these 6:00 a.m. wake-up calls.

I'm not a morning person.

Nobody knows where I'm taking them.

That's something I love doing.
I love surprising them.

But is it going to be good?
Is it going to be fun?

I'm only doing it
because the whole family is together.

I would've told him to go to hell.
It's still nighttime. Can you explain?

Why the hell would I want to get up
at 6:00 if we're on vacation?

We're going to a place...

that's a surprise.



They may have gotten rid of my clipboard,

but they won't get rid of my plans.
I have them in here, memorized.

TRAVELING
WITH THE DERBEZES

Hey, it's too bad
that Ais and Mau didn't come.

What happened with Ais and Mau?

They didn't get any sleep or something.

Their little bundle of joy didn't
let them sleep and they had a bad night.

Ais and Mau need some time...

...away from the family.

Alone, resting. Far from the chaos.

I don't like where we're going.

I can't see anything.

What was that?

- Where the hell are you taking us?
- What's going on?



There's nothing!
Not a city in sight, there's nothing!

Relax, relax. I think we're close now.

I'm so scared!

Everyone, here it is, the moment of truth!

- Come on.
- Where's the other jacket?

No!

- How about that?
- I can't believe it. Like, no, no, no.

- How about that?
- I've never done... No way.

- It's incredible.
- Look at that.

You're fucking kidding me.
No wonder he didn't tell me anything.

He knows I hate getting on those things
that go so high.

What's wrong, José?

It's a goddamn hot-air balloon.

How is it going to be driven?

It's like...

It's suicide.

What do you think?

I don't know.

What do you mean?

Don't back out.

It's just that there's gas and fire and...

I don't know, I don't...

It'll be fine.

All right, don't worry.

When it gets here, you can take a look,
and then we'll decide.

Okay? Don't worry.

Hey, dude.

- What's going on?
- What's up?

- What's going on, dude?
- I'm so freaking cold.

Are you crying?

Why? Come on, don't...

Are you really scared?

I don't know.

Is it the lack of control? You're afraid

- something will happen to you?
- I don't know. It's a hot-air balloon.

Look at it this way. How many hot-air
balloon accidents have you heard of?

When a person is nervous,
don't talk to them about accidents.

I mean, don't even mention
the word "accident." That doesn't help.

Seriously, don't... It doesn't help.

How about a shot of tequila for the shock?

All right, we're here
at the hot-air balloons.

We're about to...

get on. I'm very nervous.
I'm very worried.

With a little fear, but...

Well...

Let's see what happens.

Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit.

No way.

My plan for this trip is to have fun
and enjoy myself.

Come with me.

I'm not here to suffer. I'm 26 years old.

It's not in my plans to die
in Morocco with my family.

Is it okay?

Keep an eye on Aitana, please. Okay.

My love, calm down, you're just
stressing everybody else out.

Yes.

Magic for flying, please!

Wow, Aitana!

We're flying, sweetie! Do you see?

Look, my love!

The balloon ride is spectacular.

You can't imagine that feeling of freedom.

It's in those moments
where you thank God and the universe

for being alive, for breathing,
for being able to see that moment.

When we were up there, I realized
there is a lot of peace and tranquility.

But I still felt like I was in a basket,
on a little wooden board

that could break, that could fall off.

Relax.

The calmest one is Aitana.

I mean, Aitana is happy,
she doesn't see any danger,

she loves the scenery.

Super happy.

Push here. This one. Yeah?

- Wow.
- Aitana!

- Aitana!
- Good for you?

While we're in the air, we turn...

...and the sun starts to come up.

It was incredible.

It's so beautiful,

seeing the sun coming out
from behind the mountains.

It's so worth it.

Everything, getting up early,
the arguments...

Everything, everything was worth it.

So far, it's one of the nicest moments
of the trip.

Being on the balloon with my family.

It's too bad Ais and Mau are missing this.

- Oh, yes.
- Right?

- What a shame.
- Yes, it is a shame.

- What?
- So?

What do you mean?

What?

Are we going to be like this
for the rest of the trip?

The truth is I'm very confused.

There've been a lot of problems
between Mau and I.

We've been arguing a lot, more than usual,

and I want to fix that.

I want us to talk about it and fix it,
because we're not like this.

I hate going to sleep like this.

You don't like to talk about it
in the moment, and I'm confused.

Yes, you're right. I mean,
when I'm very mad, I can't talk.

I mean, I need to be calmer,
and then I can talk.

Yes, but the problem is
that you need different things.

I do need to talk, or things build up.

- Yes, but...
- And I get overwhelmed by all that.

Yes, but when we're mad,
we know we can't talk.

At this point, we'll never agree on this.

I know.

I mean, what we have to do is
respect each other, that's all.

Respect each other's view, that's all.

- What?
- I don't know.

How about we get along for now so we're
not making everyone else uncomfortable?

- Because it's not cool.
- No, it's not cool.

And I'm sorry for leaving yesterday.

I just felt so helpless and angry

that my plans backfired.

- No, but it was nice.
- I just wanted us to have a moment alone.

But it was good, and I appreciate it,
dinner was very good, and we talked

about very important
and good things for us as a couple.

We had this problem, but...

But I think now is one of those moments
where we have to respect

each other's needs
and viewpoints and flow.

- All right.
- Right?

I'm very grateful to her for going all in
on this relationship.

Want to have breakfast?

Let's go.

I love you.

I love you with all my heart.

No way!

Are you happy?

Yes, I am, but now we have to land.

José Eduardo, listen to me.

You've done the hard part.
So now breathe...

I control the balloon,
the balloon doesn't control me.

Exactly. It's good that's finally
in there, in your head,

so this is what you're gonna do.

You're gonna turn that way...

- Don't start dancing. It's shaking.
- I'm not dancing.

Calm down!
Don't let the balloon control you.

You're gonna turn that way
and hold on to the edge,

and, like in Titanic, you're gonna
open your eyes, and your arms...

and you're gonna scream,
"I'm the king of the world!"

But I can do that from here.
I don't need to look that way...

You can do it! Listen to me!

- Come on, José Eduardo!
- Ready? You're gonna shout...

- What do I say?
- "I'm the king of the world."

Stand up straight.

No, I'm not standing up straight.

I don't want to stand up straight.
I'm safe at this height.

All right, come on.

Come on, shout.

"I'm the king of the world!"

Now say it like a man.

- You're like, "I'm the king of the world."
- Don't move!

Like this, "I'm the king of the world!"

I'm very proud because
this man faced his fears.

One more on this trip. There you go.

"I'm the king of the world!"

- That's it!
- Yes!

- That's it!
- You did it! Great!

You did it, son!

Nice!

Okay, so, landing position, guys.

In position.

Oh, my God.

We're about to land.

Grab Aitana! Grab Aitana!

Oh, shit!

We're about to...

Bravo!

Ready!

Let's go!

Okay, ready?

Did you get all the suitcases?

What's missing? Let me see.

What else do I bring, babe

Essaouira was incredible, very cool,

but I have a plan for you
that I think is incredible.

I thought...

we could go to the Sahara desert.

I think it would be incredible.

- Yes, but...
- It's a little far...

How many hours?

It's about 15 hours of driving.

No. No. Fifteen hours of driving?
That's not cool.

You don't want to see the Sahara desert?

I want to see the desert,
but not if it's a 15-hour drive.

But not the Sarah. Is that the problem?
The name of the desert?

Did something happen with a Sarah?

She's an ex.

I thought you were going to hit me.
I was like this.

You were like this.

"Who's Sarah?" "Shut up!"

There are not enough deserts on the planet

to cover all of this man's exes.

Understood.

This is getting...
We should stay here, this is getting good.

Who are you rooting for?

I think... Ale.

Yeah.

Sorry, but I need to get back
to civilization for a bit.

You want to go back to Marrakesh already?

Yeah, it's the closest.

As usual, you don't like anything I plan.

Thank you.

- Thank you.
- Thank you.

It's not that we don't like it, Dad...

Okay, this is what we'll do.

It's just you don't make plans
thinking about family.

Okay... I... And then?

- Marrakesh.
- Okay.

Marrakesh, and then
we'll see what happens.

- Okay.
- Yeah.

- Okay?
- Let's go.

What's up with José Eduardo that
he won't even carry one suitcase?

- Really?
- Please, please.

- Don't be so lazy.
- I already took out my things.

- Don't be so lazy.
- Enough, already.

- So help Dad, he...
- No, I'm done.

I can't believe it.

What can I help with?
José Eduardo is a lazy ass.

He never helps.

José Eduardo likes to live comfortably.

He's used to maids, chauffeurs...

- Yes, the good life.
- The good life.

MARRAKESH

- Okay, family.
- Come on.

Welcome.

Let's go.

This is my activity

for today.

I decided to take control
of the activities,

and I think I found an activity
that's perfect for this family.

It's a private cooking lesson just for us.

There's going to be a competition,
and then, at the end,

a dinner where we'll get to try
what we made.

I thought that cooking could be
an experience,

a cool activity for all of us.

Because I know my people,

I thought we could do
a little cooking competition.

I say...

Everyone said yes except you.
You're making a face like...

No, it's okay. It's just that...

I mean, nobody said yes. Nobody.

"Boulettes de sardines."
Okay, boulettes de sardines?

We need two teams. How do we do this?

I want to be on your team.

I'm with them.

The carnivores.

- The Baby Team versus...
- Okay, sounds good.

Versus the Scorpions.

Okay, tagine de poisson.

What did you think?

So, basically, today's activity

is to make me do what
you make me do every day at home?

Cook.

Please! When do you cook?

- Every day.
- Never!

Never! Never!

Okay, let's see.

Come on, team, let's go!

- Let me see.
- Today is our day.

Let's go straight to the vegetables.

- No, over there.
- Let's see what they have here.

Let's start with the spices.

Poivrons rouges, two kilograms.

Poivron? What is a poivron?

I think we have a new member on our team.

Poivrons rouges, two kilos.

But is that... Is that red pepper?

I asked him, he says it is.

- He said...
- Because two kilos of ground pepper

for the fish? I don't know.

Unless we're breading it with pepper.

- What the hell? Why so much pepper?
- That's what I'm saying.

It's like salted fish, but with pepper.

We still need cilantro?

- Should we give him 10 for the help?
- Yes.

- He could keep helping us, right?
- Yes, of course.

Was the ginger ground or whole?

I don't know.

- We'll have to bring it like that.
- He already did the work.

We'll probably have to filet it.

Do you have cúrcuma?

- Good job, buddy.
- Nice, nice.

- Welcome to the team.
- Good job, man.

- We have a new team member. Cool.
- Oh, shit!

We're finding all the ingredients fast.

- I feel like the next words will be...
- To Mexico. To Mexico.

But not for the last one.

We're only missing the sardines
and parsley.

We're gonna beat the others!

Haggling! Scorpions in the house!

Oh, look, this is the poivron.

Of course. Red peppers, not ground pepper.

No way.

No way. Of course.

I can't believe we made this mistake.

You tell me, is this a good plan?
Is this fun?

It's not fun. It's not cool.

Come on, team!

What are we missing?

We're missing almost everything.

- It was nice to meet you.
- Thank you very much.

Look, there's the fish.
I think we can buy it here, right?

I haven't felt like eating fish
at all lately.

What do you think?

- No.
- No, no, no.

No? Should we continue on?

Did you see how they killed
a chicken in front of us?

I'm gonna go over there.

I can't. It's nasty.

This idea of returning to the Medina...

I can't deal with so many things
happening at the same time,

but what bothers me the most

is the animal abuse.

No, I can't, Dad. Let's get out of here.

Just look at this.

No, let's just go already, please.
This is making me feel so bad.

It's horrible to see these chickens, Dad.
Seriously, I can't.

What's wrong, baby?

Nothing, I just can't deal with
seeing animals treated like that.

We're almost done, baby

Just help me real quick, then we'll go.

Scorpions!

- We're so good at everything.
- Everything.

- Who's going to beat us?
- No one.

- Obviously.
- Obviously.

Where are they? Here?

Hello!

- It's about time!
- It's a miracle!

- How did it go?
- It's about time.

- What a terrible plan.
- Why?

You didn't see how badly
they treat the animals?

Yes, we saw the chickens
in the cages and other unpleasant things.

You didn't see how they kill
the chickens in front of you?

No, we didn't see any of that.

Yes, it's sad.
Yes, it's terrible, but you know.

Wake up. Wake up.

Why do you always go looking
for the worst things.

Exactly. You're determined
to see the bad side of things.

And we see the good side of things.

It was terrible.

Honestly, it was the worst
of many bad experiences.

It was chaotic, full of smog,
motorcycles, people...

We actually had a lot of fun.

I feel bad about the animal abuse,
it's awful, of course.

- But we had a very good time.
- Very good.

My dad likes to go out,

he likes adventure,

he likes to move, he likes to be active.

For him, a cooking lesson is boring.

- Y'all a what? Y'all a mess?
- Yeah, y'all...

- Y'all a disaster?
- Y'all gotta go?

- What is she on?
- Take it easy.

Yeah, yeah, yeah!
Come on, come on, come on!

Nothing unites a family
more than cooking together.

So you agree it was a good idea?

- The trip to the market was not.
- A great idea.

Not the trip to the market.

Maybe so, but cooking is therapeutic.

It's the best therapy in the world.

Lord, give me patience.

They're working on the sardines.

Oh, my God.

So you rip it down the middle.

Yes, come on, do it.

They gave it to them with the heads on.

Look, Dad.

The spinal column.

Why are you talking like this?

Because it's gross, and I'm gonna puke.

Once you touch it,
it's not that disgusting.

No way.

I thought that after we took out
the bones and all that stuff,

we would be left with the meat,

- which we could eat.
- Clean.

No.

We had to put it,
with the skin and the bones,

- into some sort of grinder.
- A lot of it!

And we have to eat that.
Like, all of that.

What is that? No way!

Now you're living a little bit
of our experience at the market.

I can't believe we're wasting
a day in Morocco cooking.

That is a clear example of how
you only focus on negative things.

We are not wasting absolutely nothing.

It's a perfect plan and we're
all together. That's what matters.

- Where should we be?
- The car race plan wasn't perfect?

No, because we weren't together.

Come on, honey. Enjoy it. Enjoy something.

For God's sake.

Enjoy it, please.

I adjust to everything.
You always get stuck.

Vadhir is learning how to make pita bread.

Everything is looking delicious.

Here comes the final decision!

She's tasting the one with more pepper.

She said something about salt, right?

- She doesn't look happy.
- She has a poker face.

She had a better reaction with mine.

Let's see.

She grabbed more broth and tomato there.

Let's see.

Incredible. Go, Scorpions!

Why are you never happy with anything?

- No, the thing is...
- With life.

We were much better.

- And sorry, but...
- It was obvious we won.

Thank you so much!

- Why, with her, are you...
- Well, I have to look good.

It wasn't her fault.

I'm not going to say,
"Your activity was..."

- "Very bad."
- "...sucked."

Who knows what she's planning now?

The worst plan ever.

Deep down, you liked it.

Babe, we didn't come to Morocco to...
Oh, stop with that face.

No, no.

You didn't like Formula E?

But this you liked?

- So it's one to one.
- Daddy.

Yes?

Let's see.

Mommy!

How delicious!

Finally we sit down to enjoy
what we cooked for dinner.

It's awesome to taste the food.

This looks delicious.

- Who wants some wine?
- I do.

Dad, I want to try yours, too.

It's really good. I just tried it.

Vadhir's is really good.

There you have it. Go ahead, try it.

What a great cook I am.

Let's see. Give me some.

Honestly, I tried my dad's
and I didn't like it.

I don't think I've ever tasted
anything so bland.

You mean un-tasty.

No, no, Vadhir. That's not how you say it.

Because, I mean...

Anyway, I had never tried something so...

insipid.

You have salt, please?

Without seasoning,

without love, without effort...

I'm such a good cook.

- No, man.
- No.

- Look...
- Thank you.

We won, we lost,
some had more fun than others,

but I think what matters is that we're
together and that we're having fun.

I was thinking
that it wouldn't be a bad idea

for us to get a tattoo here in Morocco.

- What?
- In Marrakesh.

You mean all of us? The whole family?

It would be great.
if it was the whole family...

Okay, but why in Morocco?

Because I think it'd be cool...

- Being here together is memorable.
- Exactly, we're not here every day.

Come on, babe.
I actually want to get a tattoo.

Baby, I'm not sure
I want to get a tattoo,

much less in Morocco. It's scary.

I'd love to get a tattoo with all of you,

- but I'm breastfeeding, so...
- Oh, that's right.

A tattoo is for life.

From today until you die,
you will have it for life.

- Are you aware of that?
- Just like a dad.

Just like you.
I was just going to say that.

Second topic of the day.

What do you think about
going out tonight?

Would you like that?
A small outing. You said yes.

Right, so you can drink and drink...

I would really like to, but...

I'm breastfeeding.

But I'm breastfeeding. No.

But I have to put her to sleep early.

Well, I'm going, too.

Right? Her eyes.

No, everyone is free to do
whatever they want.

- Except him.
- Except him.

Not this bastard.

Well, I would like to.

You would, Ale?

Oh, really?

He's inviting us all out. All of us.

In that case, if Ale wants to go,
Eugenio has to stay.

That's my point.

If my dad comes, he's going to be
bothering me about every cigarette

and drink I order.

Oh, so your dad is not invited.

No, he's invited,
but we'll have to go early.

Because I won't be able to
handle the pressure for long.

Go. Go with God, my son.

Hello.

So for the first time, on this trip
and maybe in your life,

you're going to bathe Aitana and get her

- in the bathtub...
- Oh, my God. In my life?

- You're gonna...
- I can't believe you said that.

- Oh, my God.
- You're gonna put her to bed?

On top of the fact that she organized
a terrible plan, the cooking thing,

she is going to do what I hate the most.

They're going out drinking.

Meanwhile, here's Eugenio, the dummy,
to take care of the kid.

Okay, I propose a toast with water.

- Kai... Cheers.
- Cheers.

To the trip, to the family.

- To the cooking lesson.
- Cheers.

To Maison Arabe.

- The truth is they're awesome.
- Maison Arabe! Delicious food.

Yeah, here comes the thirst.

Here?

This place is so cool. Thank you.

The thirst that unites families
and then destroys them.

This is so nice.
How did you find this place?

Well, searching.

Yeah, literally.

I took you clubbing once, remember?

Once. Where did we go?

It was in Polanco, and my dad
ordered Choco Milk at the club.

That's right. My God.

But it was my dad, you, and me.

- Can you order Choco Milk in a club?
- Yes. Yes.

- They didn't have any.
- He always orders it.

The owner got some.

- Hi, how are you?
- Speaking of which... Hi!

What are you having?

What do you think? I'm being more...

We've never gone out to a bar
or a club the three of us,

but it feels cool to be out
with young, fresh people.

Exactly.

Well, thank you.

Suck up to me...

This is why I go out with them.

Well, guys, let's go for it.
Cheers to these confessions.

- Cheers!
- Cheers, boys.

Come on. It's water, but in one shot.

When I met your dad,
I drank like I drink now, very light,

just a glass of wine...

And I heard stories that before me,

with other girlfriends that drank,

your Dad was insufferable.

- But with me, he never was.
- No?

Never. With me? Never.

But it would have been nice
if he'd come out with us.

Yeah.

He's such a good guy. We love him.

Meaning, Dad. Eugenio.

- But tell me why...
- I like that he plays with the kid.

Really?

Yes, he plays with her a lot.
That's awesome.

We didn't get...

Like, we would play with him, but not...

Not a lot of time.

- Not very often.
- It was very limited time.

As Aitana's mother, I'd like it
if he spent more time with her.

More quality time.

Because he spends a lot of time
on his cell phone.

But she has a dad 24-7.

Her parents are together.

She gets to play with him every day,
even if it's minimal.

She has him in the evenings. We always
knew that there would come a time

when we'd have to separate from him
and say goodbye,

because we couldn't stay with him
or live with him...

And we knew it was like,
"Shit, we have to enjoy this because

"we're going to separate
and who knows when we'll see him again?"

Yeah, because it wasn't
an every other week kind of thing.

Every time we said goodbye to Dad,
it was really hard.

Saying goodbye were really hard,
both with him and my siblings.

I remember that we would cry a lot.

And the goodbye with him
was always like, "Man, when?"

So we would hug, and wonder
when we would see each other again.

Yeah.

- Man, I...
- Yeah, we would cry a lot.

I didn't know it was like that.

Both Ais and José Eduardo had
this thing with their moms saying,

"I'm not gonna let you see them,"
and so they had all that stuff

with the courts
and all that crap, you know?

My mother always gave me everything.
She gave me a lot of love and affection.

But I think I'll always wish
that my parents had stopped fighting,

so I could have seen my dad more often.

We grew up in a very different way.

It was like we were only children,
but we weren't actually only children.

It's really weird.

Kind of like Aitana.

Yes, in a way, she's an only child.

Yeah, she's an only child.

Well, let me just say, first of all,

thank you for opening up with me
and talking to me about this.

I find it really touching because
I tend to complain about your dad

because I feel like he could spend
more quality time with Aitana.

But having heard you...

I won't complain again.

I won't complain again.

You guys see something
that is hard for me to see,

because I'm on the inside,

and because, as Aitana's mom, I wish
Eugenio would spend more time with her

and that he could put aside
his cell phone and...

And it's never enough.
But listening to you,

I realize that Aitana has

a father who is present.

She has three siblings
who love her dearly.

- Exactly.
- That spoil her rotten.

She has people who adore her.

She lives in a wonderful house
with a mother who...

with your personality
and how you love her...

- You would give your life for her.
- She didn't get stuck in a humid house.

And she didn't get stuck sleeping
with four people in a stinky bed.

Listening to them talk about
their childhood and their experience

had a profound impact on me.

It opened my eyes and made me realize
that Eugenio really...

That Eugenio is doing a much better job
as a father than he did with them.

It made me see that...

That I'm really lucky.

There are things that we'll never change,
but thank you.

Because he's changed a lot for the better.

- And it's great to see that.
- And you gave us Aitana.

Yes.

For me, it's been great to discover
a new side of Vadhir and José Eduardo.

And I feel like the bonds we've formed,

the experiences we've had
the three of us on this trip, are forever.

He went flirting.

What's up with him? The man just left us.

I came to the club with...

I came to the club with my stepsons.
Can you believe it?

Vadhir, come here. Where are you?

What's up? It's awesome!

Oh, yeah. Drunk!

What are you drinking?

Tequila.

All right.

Okay, let's go get that tattoo right now!

Yeah! Let's do it, let's do it!

ON THE NEXT EPISODE

We're going to Ouarzazate.

I'm leaving my heart on the dance floor.

Whenever you have the chance,
you bring up that thing with your mother.

The truth is, your mom is a great kisser.

Oh, my God, stop. Stop this massacre!

Jesus!

Are you serious, Alessandra Rosaldo?

Do it.