De Viaje Con Los Derbez (2019–…): Season 1, Episode 4 - Rojo Rojo - full transcript

These pancakes are strange,
aren't they?

They're strange, but good.
Like they're made of puff pastry.

Can you put one on top of my egg?
I mean, my plate.

I'm gonna drop it now.

We're having breakfast, Eugenio.

- Hey, Ais...
- Yeah?

- You know what we didn't do in Marrakesh?
- What?

The hammam.

- Oh, that's like...
- Here it's like...

It's like a spa, but for people here,
it's like a very cool ritual, right?

And they do, like,
full-body exfoliating...



I want to.

...and they smear you
in all sorts of things. Who's in?

I want to do whatever we can do.

I just don't want to stay here
doing nothing.

If you want, you and I can go
for a walk with the girls.

Oh, excellent.

TRAVELING
WITH THE DERBEZES

Oh, excellent.
The women will go to the spa...

- Yes, please.
- ...and you take care of the girls.

- You mean the babies.
- Okay, okay. Yes, yes, yes.

And if there's a chance some other day,

I also want to go,
so they can exfoliate...

my legs.

When you get a massage,
'cause we both have hairy legs,



it hurts to get a leg massage
because of the hair, right?

I'm not as hairy,
but I do have hair on my legs,

so I know what you're saying.

You can learn a lot having breakfast
with the family.

That's why I welcome massages,

but all that exfoliating...

- Scraping.
- ...and getting covered in mud, well...

- Why not?
- Well, I just don't...

Do they smear you everywhere?

Everywhere. All over.

- Do they touch you everywhere?
- No.

You've already been to a hammam?

No, not a hammam. I was just saying...

Um, um...

Um, um, no, I've never been.

Um, um, no, I haven't.

Can I tell Mauricio that
the oldest brother in Los Temerarios

went out with Alessandra?

No, but the truth is he's a great guy.

- Yeah, he is.
- I met him and...

He had his charm.

- Yeah, of course.
- He was attractive.

He had his charm, and he had hers too.

Damn!

Look at your face!

Well, they're messing with me!

- She's blushing.
- Her face lit up.

No!

It's been a while
since I've seen her smile like that.

Oh, stop!

"El Temerario." Wow.

God.

You see how much you're smiling?

No.

Why do you get so...
You start smiling like...

I don't start smiling.
I do not start smiling.

Her eyes lit up.

Let's play one of his songs,
a Los Temerarios song.

Your laughter bothers me.

- Speaking of exes...
- Yes?

Seriously, seriously.

- Mauricio...
- No, no.

It just occurred to me...

Code red. Code red!

We're having a nice breakfast.

Who knows?

Code red, code red, please!

I don't know, I was just wondering...

Code red, code red!

You were on a telenovela.

- Yes.
- Right?

- Oh, right.
- No, no.

That's a good one,
I'm curious about that, too.

Did you kiss my mom on that telenovela?

No, no, no, no, no!

Code red! Code red!

Then you married my sister?

- Well...
- It's all in the family.

That's really weird.

It's very weird. Let's explore the topic.

Code red, code red, code red!

You kissed my mom on a telenovela.

Yeah.

- There were adult scenes.
- Multiple times.

No, it was a family-friendly telenovela.

No, there were adult bed scenes.

- Barely.
- No.

- Enough.
- No.

I take it back.

I don't like breakfast anymore.

And then you married my sister.

- So I could be close to you.
- Who's next?

One way or another
I wanted to be close to you.

I wasn't sure if I wanted to be
your stepfather

or your brother-in-law,

but now it's done.

- Brothers.
- Brothers.

My blood.

Perhaps. Maybe!

This little street looks so cool, right?

Yeah, it's amazing.
We really needed a day of...

We really needed a day to rest.

To relax, to rest.

- A day to relax.
- Yeah.

We want to live the hammam experience.

It's like the weekly bath...

...for Moroccans.

I'm not saying it's the only bath
of the week. I don't know.

Everyone goes to the hammam,
so we're going to the hammam.

With Ais, Vadhir and José Eduardo.

I thought, "Cool, this is my chance
to connect with them.

Our moment together.

You know how long it's been
since I've been touched by someone?

We're hanging out as single dads.

It's great, isn't it?

Yesterday I saw
some really pretty alleyways.

- Daddy...
- Yesterday...

we went that way.

Stop flirting.

- I'm like, "What's up with the blonde?"
- I can't believe it.

- That way?
- Let's go where the people are.

- Okay.
- Let's go and explore.

Come on. Like an adventure.

I think Ale really does need...

- to spend some time alone.
- Yeah.

She's been stressed lately
spending all day with the kid.

She's always very attached to Aitana,
so Aitana depends on her a lot.

But I see that you...

You split the work, like,

during certain hours of the day,

you feed her, bathe her
and put her to sleep.

Ale and I haven't really
worked that stuff out.

Ale always asks me to help with Aitana,

but when I try to help,

she doesn't let me.

If I want to take her to the park,

"You're not careful,
something will happen to her."

When I want to feed her,

"I'll do it, you don't know
how to prepare what she wants."

When I want to dress her, "No."

She doesn't let me help.

Well, I think it's trial and error.

Like they say,

it takes time to establish a habit.

- Right.
- And maybe it's a question of effort.

And she might complain at the beginning,

but I think that, with time,
it will become a habit.

I actually think that this trip
is a good opportunity

to create

a deeper relationship with Eugenio.

I think this trip is
a good opportunity

to make that bond
grow stronger and deeper.

We're here. This is it, right?

- Yes, this is it.
- This is it.

They said it was the blue door
when I called them.

This one here, hammam.

- Oui?
- Massage on bed.

Here we have different massage.

Okay. Come with me now in the hammam.

Let's go.

- This is amazing.
- Oh, look!

- Look at all the details on this place.
- Wow, how beautiful.

Why do they call it "hammam."

It's like talking about ham.
What the hell?

"A cheese and hammam sandwich."

But I actually would like a massage.

We really need it. It's urgent!

Hey, this is really something.

It's beautiful.

Yes, it's really nice.

I needed a little bit of me time.

Yeah.

Without the girls.

- Just a little while.
- After all that fuss yesterday.

I mean, my heart was beating so hard.
I almost had a heart attack.

When Kai and Mau disappeared.

You have no idea how I felt.

I mean, my stomach started to tighten

and I started breathing like...

Hey!

It was horrible.

- I understand what you mean.
- There's underwear in here.

If there's underwear, put it on.

I would've reacted
the same way as you, or worse.

I didn't know if he'd fallen off the bike,
if someone had run him over,

Terrible things start crossing your mind.

It's the worst feeling in the world.

- You got scared.
- And, in his head,

it's like he...

That's when you have to put yourself
in the other person's shoes.

- Right.
- Which is a very difficult thing to do.

Yes, exactly.

Actually, I don't know what's going on.

When Mauricio and I travel alone...

...we get along marvelously.

I don't know if traveling with my family
is what's making us all lock horns,

especially Mauricio and I.

I wanted to talk to you about something.
Something delicate.

Ais got furious with me

- when I went to put Kai to sleep.
- Yes.

- She was really upset.
- Look...

So I really need...

I'm glad you brought this up, but...

Because yesterday she did get like...
There was a moment when she got like...

I had never seen her like that.

That's exactly what I don't understand

because I told her. I warned her. I said,

"I'm going to put the baby to sleep."

But she still insists
that I didn't tell her.

I think what we need to do is

let two people know.
We can make it a rule if you want.

Exactly.

- That's good. That's what I'll do.
- That's what we need to do.

- Thank you. I'm glad we talked.
- No, no, no, I mean, it's...

I feel better already.

I feel like a lady from Las Lomas.

Yes, like...

"So, tell me, how's it going
with your husband, honey?"

"You know, it's good."

"He's working hard, huh?"

"Your husband is so hardworking.
Mine is a lazy ass."

"The kids aren't back
from their vacation in Aspen yet."

"They went with their aunt?"

"Yeah, to see the town celebrations
and the snow."

"Ah, the snow.
I visited as a little girl."

"And where is Pepe?"

"Pepe? Oh, he went to Los Cabos again."

"Such a beautiful view over there."

"It really is a treasure."

"When are we going?"

"But what will we do with the damn cat?"

"Who has a damn cat?"

"I don't know."

We're so stupid.

How's it going, girls?

I'm freezing out here.

It's so great that I'm getting
a nice massage,

that I'm going to fall asleep
for like an hour

while they rub my hair,
my head, my back...

We need it.

They use water, right?

Yes, please. I do want a massage.

That's when the hammam experience begins.

What a delightful massage.

I'm getting my massage,
relaxed, happy, getting rid of my stress,

when suddenly I hear...

Son of a bitch!

Crap!

This is when my torture begins.

She starts scrubbing me
with one of those things

to remove grime from dishes.

Like, literally, she starts scrubbing me.

Not even a bit of spit, the bitch.

Then she pressed her boobies
against my head.

She kept scraping me.

And the lady smelled terrible.

Oh, shit!

And then she starts hitting me
with her elbows.

So I go, "Ow! Ow! Ouch!"

And she goes...

And then she puts my hands behind my back.

Like a wrestler.

Yeah, and I thought,
"What is this, the WWE?"

She starts twisting me around,
so I say, "Ouch, stop, stop!"

Like this.

- Waving my hand like, "Stop, please!"
- I give up.

No more, no more! Stop!

Shit! No!

It's exactly the same massage
Aislinn and I got.

Neither of us screamed.

It's just that men can't handle anything.

Slow, slow, slow.

I felt violated, offended,

tossed aside, all wet, like a little worm,

trembling from the cold.

I didn't know whether to scream or cry.

"When is this gonna end? When?"

Well, this is very nice,

but I don't want to miss out
on the hammam.

It's not for you.
Let Ale enjoy it in peace.

No, I know. I mean,
she asked me for some alone time, I know,

but I'm thinking maybe
I should surprise her.

What do you think?

Well...

Or is it too...

I'd leave her alone
with her plans, but...

- I'm gonna go surprise her.
- Okay, surprise her.

- I'll let you know.
- Let me know how it goes.

- Okay. All right.
- Okay. Come on.

I know Alessandra needs some alone time.

But I don't want to miss out
on the hammam experience.

What am I, a dog?

So, I get to the hammam,

and I start looking for Alessandra to tell
her that I had left Aitana with Mauricio.

I walk into the room
where she's getting her massage,

and her eyes are closed,

so I decide to play a joke on her.

I'm going to rub her down
and see how far she'll let me get.

And nothing.

And nothing!

If I grab her butt and she doesn't
do anything, I'll shoot myself.

What is this woman doing?
Why is she touching me like that?

I start to imagine how I'm going to tell
Ais, Vadhir and José Eduardo, and I wonder

if they're getting the same massage.

What the hell is this massage?

What were you thinking?

The masseuse...

The masseuse is crazy.

I was thinking, "What the hell, man?
What's up with the..."

What's up with you?

I practically put my finger
in your mouth and nothing.

Tell me what your dad is doing here.

What?

Wasn't he supposed to be
taking care of Aitana?

- Why won't you leave her alone?
- All right.

You chase her,
you're even coming out of the drains.

Dad, what the hell?

I felt what they call "FOMO."

A fear of missing out.

I thought, "I don't want to miss it.
I want to live the hammam experience.

"Am I ever going to come back to Morocco
and the hammam? Ham I ever?"

- What are you doing here?
- Why are you here?

What the hell?

Taking care of Aitana
is not Mauricio's responsibility.

It's not.

As long as he's with the girls,
he's happy.

Yeah, yeah, yeah!

They touched me everywhere.

- You have no idea how they grope you.
- Everywhere.

- Bad.
- Are you serious?

They feel you up.

Please, come.

- No, I'm...
- All right, come on. Let's go, Dad.

- Okay.
- No, no, no.

You wanted to be here.

You wanted to come to the baths.

No, never mind. Don't be like this.

Call me. Tell her I have things to do.

Yes, yes, yes. Get in there.

No, no, no.

Enjoy.

That's good karma.

What a bitch.

What sea is this?

José Eduardo.

Tell us, José Eduardo.

What sea is this?

Well, this is the Sea of Morocco.

I want today to be a relaxing day
by the sea.

A fun day.

See that?
There are camels on the beach.

Camels on the beach!

- There they are.
- Horses.

- Mommy, I want to go now.
- What else, José Eduardo?

What a beautiful beach.

Super cool.

Aitana, look! Camels!

Finally, Aitana!

Little camel, little camel.

How cool!

Look, it has big eyelashes, like you.

Every single day, Aitana says,

"Dad, I want to go see the camels."

It's beautiful.

We get to the beach,
and the first thing we see are...

camels.

Remember this morning when I told you

that camels chew with their mouths closed?

Do you remember? Look.

- Should I take a picture?
- Everyone.

Okay, do you want to go
with me or Dad?

I don't know.

Whatever you want, sweetie.

Can I go alone, Mommy?

No, honey, not alone,
because it's a little bit dangerous.

Okay, I'll go with you. It's my turn.

Look how they stand up.

What's that, its tongue?

That's crazy.

It's like a motorcycle, Vadhir!

Oh, my God.

What's your daddy sitting on?

That's so funny, Mommy.

What did the camel do, Aitana?

We're riding camels.
This is my first time.

I had never even seen one,
let alone ridden one.

It's amazing.

Is that real?

My brother's camel peed on him.

Oh, my God.

Some pee flew by my face.

Because, like, it peed
and its tail got covered in pee and poop.

So...

And it went like this with its tail
and my hand turned brown and yellow.

That is so gross.

So I assumed I had some
on my face as well, so I tried to...

Oh, no, no.

Let's go.

So beautiful.

Where are we going?

Look, we're by the sea on camel!

What a gift from life. What a blessing.

Look how beautiful the sea is, sweetie.

Isn't it beautiful?

Yes.

Seeing Aitana's smile

and her excitement,
feeling her excitement,

that was one of the nicest moments
of the vacation between Aitana and I.

We are at the sea

We are at the sea

We are at the sea

She's happy. Happy, happy, happy.

And so am I.

Mommy!

All right, I think we're getting down now.

- Oh, crap!
- Hold on tight when it goes down, honey.

Okay.

Okay.

All right, let's go surfing!

This is what we came for.

I think it's a great idea
for all of us to go surfing together.

I think it's a great activity
and I think everyone wants to do it.

While the women are making sandcastles,

the boys are taking a surf class.

I don't understand why no one
in this family is capable of relaxing.

They're always doing something.

And what's up with the surfing?

I mean, Mauricio, what?

You're obnoxious. I hate you.

You need to be in the middle of the board.

And bend more your knees. Good.

Forward, sir.

This last one, okay?

I'm too afraid... I'm too afraid to go,

so I'm just going to be...

- Like a dizzy cat.
- Okay.

Your family's here.

What better way to...

I don't like confronting
my fears like this.

It sounds harder than math.

I don't understand the situation.

I'm sure I won't be able to do it.

I mean, there is no way I'm standing
on that board. There is no way.

All right, come on, let's warm up.

Just do it.

No, no, no.

Be brave and do it.

But I'm afraid.

It doesn't matter. Face your fears.

- That's what it's about.
- No!

Come.

- Face your fears.
- I could drown or get hurt.

I could get eaten by a shark.

Face your fears.

Come on, you can do it.

- We'll see.
- It's scary, but I'm confronting it.

Has my dad ever surfed?

I don't think so.

I don't think Mauricio has either.

It's so cold. The water must be freezing.

Come on, Vadhir, stand on the board!

How was the surfing?

It sucked.

I mean, terrible.

José, everything okay?

Come here, José Eduardo.

- But it was...
- I was cold, my body hurt,

I hit myself with the board.

I hate this. I want to get out of here.

I don't know what Mau was thinking.

No, no, no!

He wants to get rid of me.
I'm sure of that.

I hate Mauricio.

- Hey, Ale.
- What?

What are we going to do?
Are you taking care of the baby later?

Of course!

Aren't you excited to have a date
with your husband?

Yes, I am.

Tell me, when was the last time
you two had a date?

I know, but after giving birth,
you can forget...

- How do things get?
- No, no, no.

How do things get?

Forget about having a date
with your husband

- for a while.
- Forget about 1,000 things.

- Exactly.
- Yeah, no, no, no.

Mau and I need some space

to forget for a while that we're parents,
that we're here with my family,

that everything's being a little chaotic,
and remember

the past, when we began,
when we were dating, when...

I don't know, how we fell in love.

I think we need to remember that.

- I don't know, it's...
- Oh, shit!

That's gone.

That's how the trip is. And the family!

Exactly.

What's wrong, José Eduardo?

The first one to abort the mission.

Extreme sports aren't
for my brother, that's for sure.

Enough! I want to leave.

I swallowed liters and liters of seawater.

I'm not doing that again
in my whole damn life.

Thank you.

Thank you, thank you.

- Good job.
- Nice!

What a great experience,
going to the ocean,

getting in there with your board, surf.

I don't know, interacting with nature.
I loved it.

And we all had a great time.

Well, except José Eduardo.

It hurts. The cold hurts.
It gets to your bones, right?

I can't feel anything anymore.

My jaw right now is like...

We can't even talk, that's how cold it is.

It feels like Botox.

All right, have fun.

- Be good. Stay with your grandparents.
- We leave you in charge of Kai, Aitana.

- Say, "Yes, don't worry."
- Take good care of her.

Don't worry.

- All right.
- Don't worry.

It's been a long time since we've had
a date just the two of us.

And I think we have a lot to talk about,
a lot to discuss.

We need to relax.

For a little while,
we need to let go of that parental role

that we've taken on with so much...

- Passion.
- Passion.

You know I love this kind of music.

Yeah.

I like things that are extravagant.

So, welcome to your date.

Oh, it's here? Seriously?

- No way.
- More...

It's so cool.

Bravo!

Beautiful. Just beautiful.

What do you think?

It's very nice, babe.

It's beautiful. I really liked it.

We needed a little alone time.

I miss you a lot. I miss...

being your girlfriend.

I really miss, I don't know, what we,

what we used to be.

And I feel like things have become
a little unbalanced.

Don't you think?

I want to tell you I'm sorry.

Because I've been very, very stressed.

Your whole family is like you,

so I feel like...

I've felt alone on this trip.

We love that you're here,
even if you don't believe it.

All of us.

You don't need to feel out of place.

And it hurts me to know
that you feel out of place.

I love you.

I love you.

For him to tell me this

breaks my heart because

I don't think it's been easy
for us to be in this situation.

We've never spent more than two days
with my family.

I feel like I'm between
a rock and a hard place.

Like I'm in the middle
of two very different dynamics,

the dynamic of my past, with my family,

and today's dynamic,

the one I've built with my new family.

- All right.
- What was that? A message?

Yes, a message.

Is it about Kai?

No! Baby,

- Kai is fine.
- Okay, all right.

Trust that my dad and Ale are
taking good care of her.

Why do you always want to know
where she is,

- how she's doing every minute?
- Ale.

Let's trust that Ale is taking
good care of her.

A quick call would be good.

- Are you serious?
- Just to make sure.

I know that if they didn't text or call...

I only said that to see if you...

I expected you to say, "Of course not.
We're on our date.

- "There's no need to call them."
- I know, but...

It's just that not being able
to communicate with them affects me.

That's exactly why
the bike thing happened.

I didn't disappear.

Do you know the things
that went through my head?

I didn't know if you'd
fallen off the bike,

or if something had happened to you,
or if someone had run you over,

or if something happened to the baby,
or who knows what?

We're never going to agree on this.

No, we're never going to agree.

I told you I was going to
put her to sleep.

And then I thought that

we were going to have lunch
at the restaurant not far from there.

And I thought that you were
going to put her to sleep,

which takes 10 minutes,

and then you'd come back
and we'd decide where to have lunch.

- Well...
- We'd decide where to have lunch together.

It was one of the best moments
I've had on the entire trip.

And for me it's one of the worst moments
I've had on the trip.

One of the worst.

You have no idea how I felt
when you disappeared with my daughter.

I'll tell you what really upset me.

That you totally snatched Kai
from my arms,

and you started crying uncontrollably,

transferring all of your energy to Kai.

You need to learn to control
your emotions.

Otherwise, you're gonna pass on
all your anxiety and your fears to her.

- And Kai is a baby.
- I know.

She's like a sponge, do you understand?

So, if that's what you give her,
that's what she'll absorb,

and the dynamic in the relationship
will be ruined.

We have very different personalities.

Yes, we do.

And there are things
that I'll never be able to do like you.

I'm going to change
the things I don't like about myself

and that I want to change
and make better, but...

I will never be like you.

No one is asking you to be like me.

You are.

Why do you always say the same thing?

- Yes, you are.
- I'm not asking you to be like me.

It's about respecting each other.

- Enough.
- So our relationship can...

I mean, I can't believe
that we're arguing

about the same thing,
the same old thing again,

during the only moment we have without Kai

to do something romantic, and to...

Why?

You know what? I'm going to leave.

- Hello!
- What is it?

Who's here?

Hello!

- Oh, how exciting!
- Hello, hello, hello.

How exciting!

No, no! She's so excited!

No.

- Hello, Mommy.
- Did you see?

Aitana, thank you
for taking care of Kai.

- Mommy.
- What?

- How'd it go?
- How'd it go?

- Good.
- Good?

It was good.

Yeah?

- More or less.
- It doesn't sound so good.

No, no. It had its moments.

Well, it started off well.

- Yeah.
- But then it kind of...

It was fine.

I wanted it to be very romantic...

It was. It was, for a moment. Anyway.

When exactly was it romantic? My God.

- What do we say?
- I don't know. I mean,

the silence is really uncomfortable.

Yes, but she's your daughter.
Say something.

What do you want me to say? No.

- Say something.
- No.

My date didn't go the way I expected,

and it's not cool.

I'm actually not very...

- No, this is Kai's, honey.
- I don't know.

This man sometimes just crosses the line.

That's how almost all of them are.

This girl needs a bath and to go to bed.

- No, honey, this is Kai's.
- See you later.

Bye, Mau. Bye.

- Enjoy your bath, Aitana.
- Hey.

What do you think happened?

They're not gonna tell me,
but get my daughter to tell you.

The first one to know
what happened needs to tell, okay?

- Okay?
- You're such a gossip.

You're the one who's asking me
to find out!

You just told me to ask Ais.

Well, yeah, but...

- I can't believe it.
- I'm not a gossip.

- You're the biggest gossip in the family.
- I'm not a gossip.

Enough! I'm going to prepare
Aitana's bath.

We need to get all that sand off of her.

Enough, lie down. Lie down!

You never let us talk.

Every time Mom talks... Okay?

You never let me talk.

Every time...

Every time we...
Let me talk to your mother! God!

What was that?

It's nothing!

- What was that noise?
- Nothing, nothing, nothing.

- What happened?
- Oh, my God. Nothing happened.

What happened?

- Nothing.
- Are you okay?

- Nothing. These things happen.
- Everything okay?

Yes. She hit...

She hit her head on the headboard.
She didn't fall from...

Come on, go take a bath. Go take a bath.

You need to...

Don't hurt yourself
because it will cost me the relationship.

It'll cost me the relationship
if you hurt yourself again.

ON THE NEXT EPISODE

Okay, family!

I thought we could do
a little cooking competition.

Start with garlic.
Mash them, peel them. Chop it.

Grate and smile.

Yeah, yeah, yeah!
Come on, come on, come on!

Where are we going?

It's a surprise.

I'd better zip it.

No!

You're fucking kidding me.
No wonder he didn't tell me anything.

What's wrong, José?

It's like...

It's suicide.