Darkwing Duck (1991–1992): Season 2, Episode 12 - A Brush with Oblivion - full transcript
♪ DARING DUCK OF MYSTERY ♪
♪ CHAMPION OF RIGHT ♪
♪ SWOOPS OUT
OF THE SHADOWS ♪
♪ DARKWING OF THE NIGHT ♪
♪ SOMEWHERE
SOME VILLAIN SCHEMES ♪
♪ BUT HIS NUMBER'S UP ♪
3, 2, 1!
♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪
♪ WHEN THERE'S TROUBLE
YOU CALL D.W. ♪
♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪
LET'S GET DANGEROUS.
♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪
DARKWING, DARKWING DUCK!
♪ A CLOUD OF SMOKE
AND HE APPEARS ♪
♪ THE MASTER OF SURPRISE ♪
♪ WHO'S THAT CUNNING
MIND BEHIND ♪
♪ THE SHADOWY DISGUISE ♪
♪ NOBODY KNOWS FOR SURE ♪
♪ THE BAD GUYS
ARE OUT OF LUCK ♪
♪ HERE COMES ♪
♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪
LOOK OUT!
♪ WHEN THERE'S TROUBLE
YOU CALL D.W. ♪
♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪
LET'S GET DANGEROUS!
♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪
♪ YOU BETTER WATCH OUT,
YOU BAD BOYS ♪
♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪♪
STOP IT. YOUR FACE
WILL STICK THAT WAY.
AH, IT'S A DEFINITE
IMPROVEMENT.
WATCH IT. I'LL
REARRANGE YOUR FACE.
I CAN HARDLY WAIT
TO SEE THIS.
OUR CHILDREN'S ART
ON DISPLAY
IN THE ST. CANARD
MUSEUM.
ISN'T THIS
A LOVELY WORK?
SO VERY PEACEFUL.
IS THIS YOURS, HONKER?
NO.
THIS IS MINE.
IT'S CALLED,
CRUSTY FLAKES
TO THE 14th POWER.
I'M PROUD OF YOU.
THAT'LL BE WORTH
A FORTUNE.
THAT KIND
OF OBSESSIVENESS
SUGGESTS AN
UNHAPPY HOME LIFE.
HERE'S A REAL
MASTERPIECE.
IT'S ABOUT THE GRUESOME
STRUGGLE FOR SURVIVAL.
WHAT KIND OF HOME LIFE
DOES THAT SUGGEST?
IT'S JUST A PAINTING.
AS CHIEF CURATOR,
I WILL JUDGE
THE ENTRIES SUBMITTED
FORSCHOOL DAY
AT THE MUSEUM.
MOM, SOMEBODY'S
IN A PAINTING
BACK THERE.
SHH, LITTLE DEAR.
MAYBE THE NICE MAN
WILL GIVE YOUR PAINTING
AN AWARD.
COULD I HAVE QUIET
SO I COULD CONCENTRATE?
WHY WON'T ANYBODY
LISTEN TO ME?
OUT OF MY WAY,
YOU PEST.
THE TOOTOOCOMMONTONAME
GOLD STATUE.
IT'S GONE!
YOU LITTLE THIEF.
NO, IT WASN'T ME.
IT WAS HER.
SHE'S IN HERE.
NOW HE'S STEALING
A PAINTING.
O.K., WATCH YOUR
BLOOD PRESSURE.
HE DIDN'T
STEAL ANYTHING.
HE DOESN'T
HAVE IT ON HIM.
BUT HE'S
AN EYEWITNESS
TO THE CRIME
OF THE CENTURY.
WHAT DID YOU SEE?
WHAT DID YOU SEE?
UM, WELL, I, UH...
UM...UM..UM...
THERE WAS THIS, UM...
YEAH, YEAH, YEAH.
STAND BACK, EVERYBODY.
IT'S TRUE HONKER
IS VERY SHY,
BUT I'VE DEALT
WITH THIS BEFORE.
HONKER...
SPIT IT OUT!
A LADY JUMPED OUT
OF THAT PAINTING
AND TOOK THE STATUE
BACK IN THAT PICTURE.
OH, YEAH,
I BUY IT.
SHOULDN'T
A CERTAIN CRIMEFIGHTER
NAMED DARKWING DUCK
BE INTERESTED IN THIS?
THE EXCITEMENT
MUST'VE OVERLOADED
HONKER'S BRAIN.
THAT EXPLAINS
WHY HE'S LYING.
HONKER CAN'T LIE.
I TRIED TEACHING HIM,
BUT HE NEVER LEARNED.
OH, LIE! OH, MY!
I WONDER IF...
WELL, YOU KNOW,
GOSALYN'S INFLUENCE
IS TOO MUCH
FOR OUR HONKER.
HOW COME
I'M THE HEAVY?
YEAH. MAYBE IT'S BETTER
IF, YOU KNOW...
IF THEY SAW LESS
OF EACH OTHER.
HONKER, UNTIL YOU
STOP LYING,
I'M AFRAID I'M GONNA
HAVE TO GROUND YOU.
NO GOING OUT TO PLAY,
NO TELEVISION,
NO FOOD, WATER,
OR SUNLIGHT--
HERB.
OH, YEAH, ALL RIGHT.
I GUESS WE'LL
STILL FEED YOU.
OTHERWISE YOU'RE
GROUNDED UP
SOMETHING FIERCE.
I REALLY LET
MY PARENTS DOWN.
THEY THINK
I'M A LIAR.
MY DAD ALWAYS THINKS
I'M LYING.
HE'S USUALLY RIGHT.
I WISH
I COULD DISAPPEAR.
THERE'S ONLY
ONE WAY TO PROVE
YOURSELF HONEST.
WHAT'S THAT?
WE'LL HAVE TO
SOLVE THE CRIME
OURSELVES.
HOW?
I'M GROUNDED.
FUTURE GENERATIONS
WILL BE DEPRIVED
OF THOSE
ARTISTIC MASTERPIECES.
IT'S...HER!
WHERE?
IN THE BOAT,
CROSSING
THE DELAWARE.
NO WAY!
YOU'RE THE BANE
OF MY EXISTENCE!
I WON'T HAVE YOU
ENFANTS TERRIBLES
WRECKING MY PLANS!
RUN!
I WANTED THE OTHER ONE.
YOU'VE MADE
HONKER'S LIFE
UNHAPPIER
THAN IT WAS.
ANY SECOND NOW,
HE'LL BE BACK
WITH THE POLICE
TO THROW YOU IN JAIL.
AH, YES.
FOR SUCH
AN ABSURD CHILD,
ONLY AN ABSTRACT
WILL DO.
HEY!
SIR, I NEED YOUR HELP.
YES?
YOU AGAIN!
WHAT ARE YOU
DOING HERE?
SHE CAME OUT
OF ANOTHER PAINTING.
SAVE IT
FOR THE JUDGE.
HONKER!
I CAN'T GET...OUT!
I'LL GET YOUR DAD.
I CAN ONLY
GIVE YOU $75.
I MUST HAVE MORE.
IF THE NEO-POSTMODERNIST
BACKLASH
HADN'T CAUGHT
PRE-ANTIREALISM IN ITS WAKE,
YOU'D BE SITTING PRETTY.
DO I HAVE TO STEAL
THEMONA LISA
TO GET REAL CASH?
NOW YOU'RE TALKING.
MR. MALLARD,
THE THIEF STUCK
GOSALYN IN A PAINTING.
EVEN I DON'T BELIEVE THIS.
I DON'T KNOW WHY
YOU WON'T TELL THE TRUTH.
GOSALYN IS UP IN HER ROOM.
GOSALYN,
COME HERE, PLEASE.
GOSALYN!
OH, GOSALYN.
WHEN I FIND OUT
WHAT'S GOING ON,
I MAY BE ANNOYED.
UM, SHE'S AROUND HERE
SOMEWHERE.
WHEN THE LIGHT HITS IT,
THAT LOOKS LIKE GOSALYN.
BECAUSE ITIS ME.
WHAT EXACTLY IS
GOING ON AROUND HERE?
AAH!
YOUNG LADY, GET OUT
OF THAT PAINTING
IMMEDIATELY.
LOVE TO,
BUT I'M STUCK!
THERE'S THE ONE
WHO PUT GOSALYN
IN THE PAINTING.
I'M THE TERROR
THAT FLAPS IN THE NIGHT.
I'M THE TUBE
OF CADMIUM YELLOW
THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE
TO OPEN.
I...AM DARKWING--
DUCK.
RELEASE THE GIRL
AND RETURN
THE STOLEN ARTWORKS.
WHAT HAVOC SPAWNS
WHEN ART APPEALS
TO MIDDLEBROW TASTES.
WHAT?
THE VERISIMILITUDE
OF MY ENDEAVORS
IS BEYOND THE GRASP
OF YOUR BOURGEOIS MINDS.
WELL, HEY...
STEALING'S
STEALING.
YOU MAY BAMBOOZLE
MY LESS-THAN-LITERATE
FRIEND,
BUT I'M ANOTHER MATTER.
I'LL BYPASS THAT
IF YOU'LL
CONFRONT THE FACT
THAT I OPERATE
ABOVE SOCIETY'S
SIMPLISTIC RULES.
WELL, HEY, UM...
STEALING'S
STEALING.
UH, THAT DOOR'S
NOT REAL, D.W.
NO. BUT THE PAIN
I'M EXPERIENCING IS.
SHE WENT IN THERE.
I'M REDUCED
TO THE BANANA PEEL.
I DESPISE CREATING
SUCH MUNDANE ART.
DAD, GET ME OUT.
MY FACE HURTS.
I'LL TAKE YOU HOME
TILL I FIGURE OUT
HOW TO GET YOU OUT.
OH! EASY, DAD.
I'M GETTING DIZZY.
THIEF.
STOP! THIEF!
KNOCK IT OFF.
THIS IS MY DAUGHTER.
YOU'RE CRAZY, TOO.
GUARD!
THE ONLY WAY
TO HELP GOSALYN
IS TO CATCH THAT VILLAIN.
YOU WILL SOLVE
ALL MY TROUBLES.
HOLD IT RIGHT THERE,
YOU MISGUIDED DUCKALANGELO.
CAN SHE DO THAT?
COME ON, LAUNCHPAD,
LET'S GET--
SURREALISTIC?
YOU'RE FINISHED,
YOU ROTTEN
REMBRANDT ROBBER.
I'M SURE MY FRIENDS
CAN CONVINCE YOU
TO KEEP OUT
OF MY BUSINESS.
CALL THEM OFF,
YOU DEMENTED DA VINCI.
"TOO EXPERIMENTAL,"
THE CRITICS SAID.
I'LL NOT BE BOUND
BY SELF-IMPOSED LIMITS
OF UNORIGINALITY.
THEY COULDN'T STOP ME.
I'VE REAPED GREAT REWARDS
FROM MY EXPERIMENTATION.
I DISCOVERED
CHEMICAL COMPOUNDS
ALLOWING ME
TO CONTROL ART.
MY DEPLETED FINANCES
HAVE HINDERED
MY SHOWING THE WORLD
WHAT I CAN ACCOMPLISH.
I'M BROKE.
I'VE HEARD OF
STARVING ARTISTS,
BUT NEVER
STARVING ART.
WHEN I KIDNAP
THEMONA LISA,
I'LL HAVE
SUFFICIENT FUNDING.
ARRGH!
ARRGH!
WATCH IT, D.W.
I'LL GET YOU OUT.
I BELIEVE IN
EXPOSING MYSELF TO ART,
BUT THAT WAS
TOO CLOSE FOR COMFORT.
HEY! OVER HERE!
IT'S LUCKY THE GUY
WHO PAINTED THIS IS DEAD.
IF HE WASN'T,
I'D HURT HIM.
IF I CATCH YOU
STUCK IN ANOTHER
WORK OF ART--
I FOUND
SPLATTER PHOENIX.
WHERE?
SHE MADE A LEFT AT
FRENCH IMPRESSIONISM,
HEADING TOWARD
ABSTRACT IMPRESSIONISM.
YOU WAIT HERE.
LIKE I'M GOING TO
MISS A SECOND OF THIS.
I HAVE YOU NOW,
YOU WRETCHED RENOIR.
D.W., I THINK WE'RE
IN GOSALYN'S PAINTING.
[RAHRR]
GOTTA HAVE A LONG TALK
WITH HER.
[RAHRR]
OH, I ENVY YOU.
PAIN SO ENRICHES
THE ARTIST'S SOUL.
[RAHRR]
YOU'VE GOT
A SCREW LOOSE, LAUTREC.
YOU'RE CRAZY.
SO WAS VAN GOGH,
AND HIS PAINTINGS
ARE PRICELESS.
HELP!
OH, NO!
HONKER, HELP US!
I'LL TAKE CARE
OF THIS MYSELF.
[DARKWING DUCK]
HONKER, NO!
IT'S THE BIG HOUSE
FOR YOU, LITTLE ONE.
HONKER, AS SOON
AS WE MAKE BAIL,
YOU'RE GROUNDED
FOR LIFE!
HERB!
WELL, MAKE THAT
10 YEARS?
YES, SIR.
HONKSTER DOES TIME
IN THE SLAMMER.
GOTTA HAND IT
TO YOU, JAILBIRD.
GOSALYN'S IN TROUBLE.
YOU GOTTA HELP ME
GET OUT OF HERE.
SURE. HERE'S WHAT
YOU GOTTA DO.
THERE'S YOU.
GOSH. THANKS, TANK.
HEY, WHAT ARE
BIG BROTHERS FOR?
MOM! DAD!
HONKER RAN AWAY!
IF I COULD REACH
MY GAS GUN--GOT IT.
AH-CHOO!
TSK TSK.
YOUR TENACITY IS CHARMING,
BUT ALAS,
UTTERLY FUTILE.
THIS PAINTING IS DEVOID
OF ANY ARTISTIC MERIT.
IT CAN ONLY BE HELPED
BY TURPENTINE SOLVENT.
NO!
OH, NO!
NOW ONTO MY ENORMOUSLY
INVENTIVE AND FERTILE,
BUT EQUALLY UNREALIZED
FELONY PHASE.
GET THEM
OUT OF THERE NOW!
UH...
PLEASE.
YOU...
I HOPE THIS CONVICT
HASN'T BEEN
HARASSING YOU.
WAIT. SHE'S THE THIEF.
THE TRUTH IS SUCH
A FOREIGN CONCEPT TO YOU.
HE'S NOT LYING, PAL.
MY TICKET TO
ARTISTIC DOMINATION.
NO!
OPEN YOUR MOUTH,
AND THIS SMILE
GETS IT.
HEY, PUT MY KISSER
BACK ON MY KISSER.
YOU HAVE 24 HOURS
TO PAY MY RANSOM
FOR THIS
PRECIOUS SMILE.
LISTEN, FEATHERPUSS,
PUT ME BACK!
[MOUTH] YOU THINK
I'M A FINGER PAINTING?
PAINT ME BACK.
WHAT A DUMP.
SHUT YOUR MOUTH,
MOUTH.
[ALARM RINGS]
WHAT CHEAP SENTIMENT
STOPPED ME FROM BRUSHING
THIS FLY FROM MY FACE,
I'LL NEVER KNOW.
HA! I'VE HAD ALL I
CAN TAKE OFF YOU.
YAA!
YOU PUT THE BITE
ON THE WRONG MOUTH.
I DIDN'T THINK WE'D
GET OUT IN ONE PIECE.
WE DIDN'T.
GOSALYN!
I GOT HER BRUSH--
YOU DON'T
LOOK SO GOOD.
MAYBE THIS'LL HELP.
THAT CAN'T
BE RIGHT.
LET ME HAVE THAT.
LOOK AT THE FOOL.
I FEAR NO DETECTION
FROM THAT UBIQUITOUS
BUFFOON.
[WHISTLES]
FOLLOW ME.
YOU HAVE TO BE CAREFUL.
SHE HAS
THEMONA LISA'S SMILE.
WHAT DO YOU NEED,
AN ENGRAVED INVITATION?
GET HER!
I'LL GIVE YOU
A FAT LIP.
SORRY, DAD.
SORRY, SIR.
AAH!
AAH!
AAH!
AAH!
[CRASH]
1, 2, 3.
FOR ALL ARTISTS
EVERYWHERE,
I AVENGE THE CRITICS'
INTELLECTUAL POVERTY.
WATCH OUT!
I'VE HAD IT WITH
THESE VOLATILE
CREATIVE TYPES.
IN THE NAME
OF SELF-DEFENSE,
I MUST PAINT
A CARTOON PROP.
IT'S YOUR FAULT
I'VE SUNK SO LOW.
NO!
YOU HAVE SOMETHING
ON YOUR FACE.
HEY,GRAZIE-RINO, SISTER.
THE ONLY ART
YOU'LL CREATE
IS PAINTING
LICENSE PLATES
IN PRISON.
OH, HONKER, DEAR,
LET ME HANDLE THIS,
BINKUMS.
YOU DISOBEYED
MY ORDERS.
NOW I'M GOING TO
HAVE TO--
WAIT.
HE'S A LIAR.
OUCH!
HEY, LEAVE ME ALONE.
MOM! DAD!
I'M TELLIN' YA--
THIS KID IS NO LIAR.
BUT--
HEY, GOOD-LOOKIN',
WOULD I LIE?
♪ CHAMPION OF RIGHT ♪
♪ SWOOPS OUT
OF THE SHADOWS ♪
♪ DARKWING OF THE NIGHT ♪
♪ SOMEWHERE
SOME VILLAIN SCHEMES ♪
♪ BUT HIS NUMBER'S UP ♪
3, 2, 1!
♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪
♪ WHEN THERE'S TROUBLE
YOU CALL D.W. ♪
♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪
LET'S GET DANGEROUS.
♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪
DARKWING, DARKWING DUCK!
♪ A CLOUD OF SMOKE
AND HE APPEARS ♪
♪ THE MASTER OF SURPRISE ♪
♪ WHO'S THAT CUNNING
MIND BEHIND ♪
♪ THE SHADOWY DISGUISE ♪
♪ NOBODY KNOWS FOR SURE ♪
♪ THE BAD GUYS
ARE OUT OF LUCK ♪
♪ HERE COMES ♪
♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪
LOOK OUT!
♪ WHEN THERE'S TROUBLE
YOU CALL D.W. ♪
♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪
LET'S GET DANGEROUS!
♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪
♪ YOU BETTER WATCH OUT,
YOU BAD BOYS ♪
♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪♪
STOP IT. YOUR FACE
WILL STICK THAT WAY.
AH, IT'S A DEFINITE
IMPROVEMENT.
WATCH IT. I'LL
REARRANGE YOUR FACE.
I CAN HARDLY WAIT
TO SEE THIS.
OUR CHILDREN'S ART
ON DISPLAY
IN THE ST. CANARD
MUSEUM.
ISN'T THIS
A LOVELY WORK?
SO VERY PEACEFUL.
IS THIS YOURS, HONKER?
NO.
THIS IS MINE.
IT'S CALLED,
CRUSTY FLAKES
TO THE 14th POWER.
I'M PROUD OF YOU.
THAT'LL BE WORTH
A FORTUNE.
THAT KIND
OF OBSESSIVENESS
SUGGESTS AN
UNHAPPY HOME LIFE.
HERE'S A REAL
MASTERPIECE.
IT'S ABOUT THE GRUESOME
STRUGGLE FOR SURVIVAL.
WHAT KIND OF HOME LIFE
DOES THAT SUGGEST?
IT'S JUST A PAINTING.
AS CHIEF CURATOR,
I WILL JUDGE
THE ENTRIES SUBMITTED
FORSCHOOL DAY
AT THE MUSEUM.
MOM, SOMEBODY'S
IN A PAINTING
BACK THERE.
SHH, LITTLE DEAR.
MAYBE THE NICE MAN
WILL GIVE YOUR PAINTING
AN AWARD.
COULD I HAVE QUIET
SO I COULD CONCENTRATE?
WHY WON'T ANYBODY
LISTEN TO ME?
OUT OF MY WAY,
YOU PEST.
THE TOOTOOCOMMONTONAME
GOLD STATUE.
IT'S GONE!
YOU LITTLE THIEF.
NO, IT WASN'T ME.
IT WAS HER.
SHE'S IN HERE.
NOW HE'S STEALING
A PAINTING.
O.K., WATCH YOUR
BLOOD PRESSURE.
HE DIDN'T
STEAL ANYTHING.
HE DOESN'T
HAVE IT ON HIM.
BUT HE'S
AN EYEWITNESS
TO THE CRIME
OF THE CENTURY.
WHAT DID YOU SEE?
WHAT DID YOU SEE?
UM, WELL, I, UH...
UM...UM..UM...
THERE WAS THIS, UM...
YEAH, YEAH, YEAH.
STAND BACK, EVERYBODY.
IT'S TRUE HONKER
IS VERY SHY,
BUT I'VE DEALT
WITH THIS BEFORE.
HONKER...
SPIT IT OUT!
A LADY JUMPED OUT
OF THAT PAINTING
AND TOOK THE STATUE
BACK IN THAT PICTURE.
OH, YEAH,
I BUY IT.
SHOULDN'T
A CERTAIN CRIMEFIGHTER
NAMED DARKWING DUCK
BE INTERESTED IN THIS?
THE EXCITEMENT
MUST'VE OVERLOADED
HONKER'S BRAIN.
THAT EXPLAINS
WHY HE'S LYING.
HONKER CAN'T LIE.
I TRIED TEACHING HIM,
BUT HE NEVER LEARNED.
OH, LIE! OH, MY!
I WONDER IF...
WELL, YOU KNOW,
GOSALYN'S INFLUENCE
IS TOO MUCH
FOR OUR HONKER.
HOW COME
I'M THE HEAVY?
YEAH. MAYBE IT'S BETTER
IF, YOU KNOW...
IF THEY SAW LESS
OF EACH OTHER.
HONKER, UNTIL YOU
STOP LYING,
I'M AFRAID I'M GONNA
HAVE TO GROUND YOU.
NO GOING OUT TO PLAY,
NO TELEVISION,
NO FOOD, WATER,
OR SUNLIGHT--
HERB.
OH, YEAH, ALL RIGHT.
I GUESS WE'LL
STILL FEED YOU.
OTHERWISE YOU'RE
GROUNDED UP
SOMETHING FIERCE.
I REALLY LET
MY PARENTS DOWN.
THEY THINK
I'M A LIAR.
MY DAD ALWAYS THINKS
I'M LYING.
HE'S USUALLY RIGHT.
I WISH
I COULD DISAPPEAR.
THERE'S ONLY
ONE WAY TO PROVE
YOURSELF HONEST.
WHAT'S THAT?
WE'LL HAVE TO
SOLVE THE CRIME
OURSELVES.
HOW?
I'M GROUNDED.
FUTURE GENERATIONS
WILL BE DEPRIVED
OF THOSE
ARTISTIC MASTERPIECES.
IT'S...HER!
WHERE?
IN THE BOAT,
CROSSING
THE DELAWARE.
NO WAY!
YOU'RE THE BANE
OF MY EXISTENCE!
I WON'T HAVE YOU
ENFANTS TERRIBLES
WRECKING MY PLANS!
RUN!
I WANTED THE OTHER ONE.
YOU'VE MADE
HONKER'S LIFE
UNHAPPIER
THAN IT WAS.
ANY SECOND NOW,
HE'LL BE BACK
WITH THE POLICE
TO THROW YOU IN JAIL.
AH, YES.
FOR SUCH
AN ABSURD CHILD,
ONLY AN ABSTRACT
WILL DO.
HEY!
SIR, I NEED YOUR HELP.
YES?
YOU AGAIN!
WHAT ARE YOU
DOING HERE?
SHE CAME OUT
OF ANOTHER PAINTING.
SAVE IT
FOR THE JUDGE.
HONKER!
I CAN'T GET...OUT!
I'LL GET YOUR DAD.
I CAN ONLY
GIVE YOU $75.
I MUST HAVE MORE.
IF THE NEO-POSTMODERNIST
BACKLASH
HADN'T CAUGHT
PRE-ANTIREALISM IN ITS WAKE,
YOU'D BE SITTING PRETTY.
DO I HAVE TO STEAL
THEMONA LISA
TO GET REAL CASH?
NOW YOU'RE TALKING.
MR. MALLARD,
THE THIEF STUCK
GOSALYN IN A PAINTING.
EVEN I DON'T BELIEVE THIS.
I DON'T KNOW WHY
YOU WON'T TELL THE TRUTH.
GOSALYN IS UP IN HER ROOM.
GOSALYN,
COME HERE, PLEASE.
GOSALYN!
OH, GOSALYN.
WHEN I FIND OUT
WHAT'S GOING ON,
I MAY BE ANNOYED.
UM, SHE'S AROUND HERE
SOMEWHERE.
WHEN THE LIGHT HITS IT,
THAT LOOKS LIKE GOSALYN.
BECAUSE ITIS ME.
WHAT EXACTLY IS
GOING ON AROUND HERE?
AAH!
YOUNG LADY, GET OUT
OF THAT PAINTING
IMMEDIATELY.
LOVE TO,
BUT I'M STUCK!
THERE'S THE ONE
WHO PUT GOSALYN
IN THE PAINTING.
I'M THE TERROR
THAT FLAPS IN THE NIGHT.
I'M THE TUBE
OF CADMIUM YELLOW
THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE
TO OPEN.
I...AM DARKWING--
DUCK.
RELEASE THE GIRL
AND RETURN
THE STOLEN ARTWORKS.
WHAT HAVOC SPAWNS
WHEN ART APPEALS
TO MIDDLEBROW TASTES.
WHAT?
THE VERISIMILITUDE
OF MY ENDEAVORS
IS BEYOND THE GRASP
OF YOUR BOURGEOIS MINDS.
WELL, HEY...
STEALING'S
STEALING.
YOU MAY BAMBOOZLE
MY LESS-THAN-LITERATE
FRIEND,
BUT I'M ANOTHER MATTER.
I'LL BYPASS THAT
IF YOU'LL
CONFRONT THE FACT
THAT I OPERATE
ABOVE SOCIETY'S
SIMPLISTIC RULES.
WELL, HEY, UM...
STEALING'S
STEALING.
UH, THAT DOOR'S
NOT REAL, D.W.
NO. BUT THE PAIN
I'M EXPERIENCING IS.
SHE WENT IN THERE.
I'M REDUCED
TO THE BANANA PEEL.
I DESPISE CREATING
SUCH MUNDANE ART.
DAD, GET ME OUT.
MY FACE HURTS.
I'LL TAKE YOU HOME
TILL I FIGURE OUT
HOW TO GET YOU OUT.
OH! EASY, DAD.
I'M GETTING DIZZY.
THIEF.
STOP! THIEF!
KNOCK IT OFF.
THIS IS MY DAUGHTER.
YOU'RE CRAZY, TOO.
GUARD!
THE ONLY WAY
TO HELP GOSALYN
IS TO CATCH THAT VILLAIN.
YOU WILL SOLVE
ALL MY TROUBLES.
HOLD IT RIGHT THERE,
YOU MISGUIDED DUCKALANGELO.
CAN SHE DO THAT?
COME ON, LAUNCHPAD,
LET'S GET--
SURREALISTIC?
YOU'RE FINISHED,
YOU ROTTEN
REMBRANDT ROBBER.
I'M SURE MY FRIENDS
CAN CONVINCE YOU
TO KEEP OUT
OF MY BUSINESS.
CALL THEM OFF,
YOU DEMENTED DA VINCI.
"TOO EXPERIMENTAL,"
THE CRITICS SAID.
I'LL NOT BE BOUND
BY SELF-IMPOSED LIMITS
OF UNORIGINALITY.
THEY COULDN'T STOP ME.
I'VE REAPED GREAT REWARDS
FROM MY EXPERIMENTATION.
I DISCOVERED
CHEMICAL COMPOUNDS
ALLOWING ME
TO CONTROL ART.
MY DEPLETED FINANCES
HAVE HINDERED
MY SHOWING THE WORLD
WHAT I CAN ACCOMPLISH.
I'M BROKE.
I'VE HEARD OF
STARVING ARTISTS,
BUT NEVER
STARVING ART.
WHEN I KIDNAP
THEMONA LISA,
I'LL HAVE
SUFFICIENT FUNDING.
ARRGH!
ARRGH!
WATCH IT, D.W.
I'LL GET YOU OUT.
I BELIEVE IN
EXPOSING MYSELF TO ART,
BUT THAT WAS
TOO CLOSE FOR COMFORT.
HEY! OVER HERE!
IT'S LUCKY THE GUY
WHO PAINTED THIS IS DEAD.
IF HE WASN'T,
I'D HURT HIM.
IF I CATCH YOU
STUCK IN ANOTHER
WORK OF ART--
I FOUND
SPLATTER PHOENIX.
WHERE?
SHE MADE A LEFT AT
FRENCH IMPRESSIONISM,
HEADING TOWARD
ABSTRACT IMPRESSIONISM.
YOU WAIT HERE.
LIKE I'M GOING TO
MISS A SECOND OF THIS.
I HAVE YOU NOW,
YOU WRETCHED RENOIR.
D.W., I THINK WE'RE
IN GOSALYN'S PAINTING.
[RAHRR]
GOTTA HAVE A LONG TALK
WITH HER.
[RAHRR]
OH, I ENVY YOU.
PAIN SO ENRICHES
THE ARTIST'S SOUL.
[RAHRR]
YOU'VE GOT
A SCREW LOOSE, LAUTREC.
YOU'RE CRAZY.
SO WAS VAN GOGH,
AND HIS PAINTINGS
ARE PRICELESS.
HELP!
OH, NO!
HONKER, HELP US!
I'LL TAKE CARE
OF THIS MYSELF.
[DARKWING DUCK]
HONKER, NO!
IT'S THE BIG HOUSE
FOR YOU, LITTLE ONE.
HONKER, AS SOON
AS WE MAKE BAIL,
YOU'RE GROUNDED
FOR LIFE!
HERB!
WELL, MAKE THAT
10 YEARS?
YES, SIR.
HONKSTER DOES TIME
IN THE SLAMMER.
GOTTA HAND IT
TO YOU, JAILBIRD.
GOSALYN'S IN TROUBLE.
YOU GOTTA HELP ME
GET OUT OF HERE.
SURE. HERE'S WHAT
YOU GOTTA DO.
THERE'S YOU.
GOSH. THANKS, TANK.
HEY, WHAT ARE
BIG BROTHERS FOR?
MOM! DAD!
HONKER RAN AWAY!
IF I COULD REACH
MY GAS GUN--GOT IT.
AH-CHOO!
TSK TSK.
YOUR TENACITY IS CHARMING,
BUT ALAS,
UTTERLY FUTILE.
THIS PAINTING IS DEVOID
OF ANY ARTISTIC MERIT.
IT CAN ONLY BE HELPED
BY TURPENTINE SOLVENT.
NO!
OH, NO!
NOW ONTO MY ENORMOUSLY
INVENTIVE AND FERTILE,
BUT EQUALLY UNREALIZED
FELONY PHASE.
GET THEM
OUT OF THERE NOW!
UH...
PLEASE.
YOU...
I HOPE THIS CONVICT
HASN'T BEEN
HARASSING YOU.
WAIT. SHE'S THE THIEF.
THE TRUTH IS SUCH
A FOREIGN CONCEPT TO YOU.
HE'S NOT LYING, PAL.
MY TICKET TO
ARTISTIC DOMINATION.
NO!
OPEN YOUR MOUTH,
AND THIS SMILE
GETS IT.
HEY, PUT MY KISSER
BACK ON MY KISSER.
YOU HAVE 24 HOURS
TO PAY MY RANSOM
FOR THIS
PRECIOUS SMILE.
LISTEN, FEATHERPUSS,
PUT ME BACK!
[MOUTH] YOU THINK
I'M A FINGER PAINTING?
PAINT ME BACK.
WHAT A DUMP.
SHUT YOUR MOUTH,
MOUTH.
[ALARM RINGS]
WHAT CHEAP SENTIMENT
STOPPED ME FROM BRUSHING
THIS FLY FROM MY FACE,
I'LL NEVER KNOW.
HA! I'VE HAD ALL I
CAN TAKE OFF YOU.
YAA!
YOU PUT THE BITE
ON THE WRONG MOUTH.
I DIDN'T THINK WE'D
GET OUT IN ONE PIECE.
WE DIDN'T.
GOSALYN!
I GOT HER BRUSH--
YOU DON'T
LOOK SO GOOD.
MAYBE THIS'LL HELP.
THAT CAN'T
BE RIGHT.
LET ME HAVE THAT.
LOOK AT THE FOOL.
I FEAR NO DETECTION
FROM THAT UBIQUITOUS
BUFFOON.
[WHISTLES]
FOLLOW ME.
YOU HAVE TO BE CAREFUL.
SHE HAS
THEMONA LISA'S SMILE.
WHAT DO YOU NEED,
AN ENGRAVED INVITATION?
GET HER!
I'LL GIVE YOU
A FAT LIP.
SORRY, DAD.
SORRY, SIR.
AAH!
AAH!
AAH!
AAH!
[CRASH]
1, 2, 3.
FOR ALL ARTISTS
EVERYWHERE,
I AVENGE THE CRITICS'
INTELLECTUAL POVERTY.
WATCH OUT!
I'VE HAD IT WITH
THESE VOLATILE
CREATIVE TYPES.
IN THE NAME
OF SELF-DEFENSE,
I MUST PAINT
A CARTOON PROP.
IT'S YOUR FAULT
I'VE SUNK SO LOW.
NO!
YOU HAVE SOMETHING
ON YOUR FACE.
HEY,GRAZIE-RINO, SISTER.
THE ONLY ART
YOU'LL CREATE
IS PAINTING
LICENSE PLATES
IN PRISON.
OH, HONKER, DEAR,
LET ME HANDLE THIS,
BINKUMS.
YOU DISOBEYED
MY ORDERS.
NOW I'M GOING TO
HAVE TO--
WAIT.
HE'S A LIAR.
OUCH!
HEY, LEAVE ME ALONE.
MOM! DAD!
I'M TELLIN' YA--
THIS KID IS NO LIAR.
BUT--
HEY, GOOD-LOOKIN',
WOULD I LIE?