Darkwing Duck (1991–1992): Season 2, Episode 11 - Going Nowhere Fast - full transcript
♪ DARING DUCK OF MYSTERY ♪
♪ CHAMPION OF RIGHT ♪
♪ SWOOPS OUT
OF THE SHADOWS ♪
♪ DARKWING OF THE NIGHT ♪
♪ SOMEWHERE
SOME VILLAIN SCHEMES ♪
♪ BUT HIS NUMBER'S UP ♪
3, 2, 1!
♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪
♪ WHEN THERE'S TROUBLE
YOU CALL D.W. ♪
♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪
LET'S GET DANGEROUS.
♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪
DARKWING, DARKWING DUCK!
♪ A CLOUD OF SMOKE
AND HE APPEARS ♪
♪ THE MASTER OF SURPRISE ♪
♪ WHO'S THAT CUNNING
MIND BEHIND ♪
♪ THE SHADOWY DISGUISE ♪
♪ NOBODY KNOWS FOR SURE ♪
♪ THE BAD GUYS
ARE OUT OF LUCK ♪
♪ HERE COMES ♪
♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪
LOOK OUT!
♪ WHEN THERE'S TROUBLE
YOU CALL D.W. ♪
♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪
LET'S GET DANGEROUS!
♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪
♪ YOU BETTER WATCH OUT,
YOU BAD BOYS ♪
♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪♪
GOSALYN, THIS WAS
A BAD IDEA.
JUST KEEP YOUR MONEY
IN A PIGGY BANK.
PIGGY BANKS DON'T
COMPOUND INTEREST DAILY.
WE'LL NEVER
GET TO THE FRONT.
OH, DAD, RELAX.
BUILDING FINANCIAL
SECURITY TAKES TIME.
[HAMMERING]
I AM THE SCREECHING
FINGERNAIL
ON THE CHALKBOARD
OF JUSTICE,
THE SOUR BALL IN
THE CANDY JAR OF GOODNESS.
I AM NEGADUCK!
THIS IS THE FIRST PORTABLE
PARTICLE ACCELERATOR,
WHICH I, NEGADUCK, STOLE.
WHAT AN EGO.
EVER SEEN
ANYTHING LIKE IT?
HE DOESN'T REALIZE
HE'S IN THE HANDS
OF DARKWING DUCK.
THIS ACCELERATOR SPEEDS UP
THE MOLECULES IN THE SAFE,
ALLOWING ME TO WALK
IN BETWEEN AND NAB THE LOOT!
OR BLOW UP THE ENTIRE CITY.
WHATEVER.
IT'LL BE A BLAST.
I'M THE TERROR
THAT FLAPS IN THE NIGHT,
THE HEIMLICH MANEUVER
FOR CRIME'S CHOKING VICTIMS.
WELL, CHOKE ON THIS,
DO-GOODER.
I'M A TOUCH TOO FAST,
NEGADOPE.
MAYBE SO, BUT NOT
FOR MY ACCELERATOR.
DARKWING!
HOW I HATE BANKING
WITH BUFFOONS.
ARE YOU O.K.?
NEVER BETTER.
YOU COULD'VE
GOT US KILLED!
YOU'D PREFER
I DID NOTHING?
YES!
YES!
YES!
THAT MOB WAS READY
TO FEED ME TO THE
AUTOMATED TELLER.
WHERE IS GOSALYN?
OUTSIDE PLAYING BALL.
HOW CAN SHE PLAY
BASEBALL AT DINNERTIME?
OH!
THAT BRANCH IS WEAK.
YOU MIGHT...
GOSALYN!
DAD, WHERE DID YOU
COME FROM?
I JUST STEPPED OUT...
THE FRONT DOOR?
THAT WAS
QUICK THINKING.
YEAH, DAD.
YOU GOT HERE SUPERFAST!
IT MUST HAVE BEEN
THE EXCITEMENT.
GOSALYN, LOOK.
WHAT YOUR DAD DID
WAS PHYSICALLY IMPOSSIBLE.
LET'S SEE.
IMPOSSIBLE, EH?
ADRENALINE
COULDN'T MAKE YOU
MOVE THAT FAST.
NEGADUCK'S ACCELERATOR!
THEN YOU ARE SUPERFAST!
YOU MEAN I ACTUALLY HAVE
A SUPERPOWER?
SEE THAT?
I'M SUPERFAST.
I'M THE MONARCH
OF MOTION. I'M...
[SNIFFING]
YIKE!
WHAT HAPPENED?
FRICTION.
AT SUPERSPEED,
EVEN THE AIR
IS A PROBLEM.
A MINOR SETBACK.
WITH MY NEW SUPERPOWER,
I'LL THWART NEGADUCK EASILY.
DIPPING DAD'S COSTUME
IN NON-STICK COATING
IS WAS A GREAT IDEA.
IT'S FINE.
NO TIME TO LOSE!
BETTER GET A SCOOTER!
NOTHING ON THE ROAD
CAN PASS THIS BABY.
I DON'T KNOW.
IT SEEMS A LITTLE
SLUGGISH TO ME!
AT THIS SPEED,
CATCHING NEGADUCK
WILL BE A SNAP.
I'VE RUN OUT OF ROAD.
NO PROBLEM.
THOUGHT I WOULDN'T
STOP IN TIME, RIGHT?
YOU'VE BEEN WORKING
ON THIS BUILDING
FOR WEEKS.
I'LL FINISH
WHILE YOU'RE ON
A COFFEE BREAK.
NOW THAT'S
HOW IT'S DONE.
YOU SHOULD SUE
YOUR ARCHITECT.
NO SIGN OF NEGADUCK.
HE'LL LEARN
THERE'S NO HIDING
FROM THE SULTAN OF SPEED.
I HAVEN'T CHECKED THIS BANK.
[ALARM RINGS]
AAH!
WAS IT NEGADUCK?
WHICH WAY DID HE GO?
HE'S GETTING AWAY!
SURRENDER,
YOU SCOUNDREL!
YOU CAN'T DO THAT.
YOUR ACCELERATOR
BACKFIRED, NEGADUCK.
YOU GAVE ME SUPERSPEED!
YOU GOT A SUPERPOWER
FROM ME?
THAT'S NOT FAIR!
THAT'S--I MEAN,
IT'S PART OF MY PLAN.
I MEANT TO DO THAT.
IT CLEARS MY SINUSES.
HE MAY RUN FAST,
BUT HIS THINKING'S
STILL SLOW.
WHERE'S THAT NEGADUCK?
UP HERE, DIMWIT.
THIS STORE FEATURES
IMPORTED CRYSTAL.
VERY EXPENSIVE.
I'M TOO FAST FOR YOU,
NEGADUCK.
YOU LOSE, NEGADUCK.
I'LL CAN CATCH
ANYTHING YOU...
THROW.
THIS PLACE HAS
A GREAT HARDWARE
DEPARTMENT, TOO.
DAD! DAD!
IT'S WHAT WE THOUGHT.
WHAT ARE YOU
SAYING?
TELL HIM, HONK.
MY RESEARCH INDICATES
A MAJOR SIDE EFFECT.
TO YOUR SUPERSPEED.
YOU'RE GETTING OLD!
MOVING AT SUPERSPEED
CAUSES YOU TO AGE
AT AN ACCELERATED RATE.
WHY, THAT'S RIDICULOUS.
I'VE NEVER FELT BETTER
IN MY LIFE.
THAT'S UTTERLY
IMPOSSIBLE.
[ALARM RINGS]
HEAR THAT? NEGADUCK
HAS STRUCK AGAIN.
HE WON'T GET AWAY.
GOOD THING I GOT
AN EXTRA LARGE
GLOVE BOX.
HALT! YOU CAN'T
OUTRUN...THE ACE OF...
ACCELERATION, NEGADUCK.
IS THIS A JOKE, GRAMPS?
STEP ASIDE.
WAIT...IS THAT YOU?
YE--HOO HOO, BOY!
WHY, LOOK AT YOU.
YOU'RE ANCIENT.
YOU'RE A FOSSIL.
JUST A CREAKING
MASS OF BONES
AND HARDENED ARTERIES.
HOLD STILL,
YOU WHIPPERSNAPPER.
I PLANNED THIS.
ST. CANARD WILL BE MINE!
D.W.! D.W.!
ENJOY YOUR
GOLDEN YEARS, GRAMPS.
I KNOW I WILL.
KEEP STILL
OR YOU'LL END UP...
JUST A PILE
OF DUST AND BONES.
HE HASN'T MOVED.
IF HE MOVES,
HE'LL AGE FASTER.
IF HE STAYS THERE,
HE MIGHT AS WELL
BE PETRIFIED.
I CAN'T MOVE.
I'LL GET MORE DECREPIT.
HE'S GOT
A GOOD POINT.
YOU SEE?
I'M STAYING PUT.
IT'S FOR YOU, D.W.
NEGADUCK LEFT IT
AT HIS LAST ROBBERY.
I WONDER
WHAT'S INSIDE?
"TO DARKWING DUCK,
MY OLDEST ENEMY.
AND I DO MEAN OLDEST.
HA HA HA."
THAT'S NOT FUNNY.
A ROCKING CHAIR.
ISN'T THAT NICE?
IT IS NOT!
IT'S AN INSULT.
DARKWING DUCK'S NOT
GOING TO SIT AROUND
IN A ROCKING CHAIR,
IS HE?
SLOW DOWN, SIR.
EVEN HIGH-SPEED
ROCKING
WILL AGE YOU.
REMEMBER WHEN I WAS AN
ACTIVE YOUNG CRIMEFIGHTER?
SEEMS LIKE JUST YESTERDAY.
ITWAS JUST YESTERDAY!
DAD, YOU CAN'T GIVE IN!
I HAVE NO CHOICE, GOSALYN.
I'LL KNIT AN AFGHAN.
GOOD IDEA. D.W.
YOU DON'T WANT THOSE
TIRED OLD BONES
TO CATCH A CHILL.
AT THIS RATE,
THERE'LL BE
NOTHING LEFT OF ME
BUT DUSTBUSTER BAIT.
THERE HAS TO BE A WAY
TO KEEP DAD GOING
TILL WE FIND A CURE.
I THOUGHT WE HAD
TO KEEP HIM STILL.
DAD, TELL US
HOW YOU'D CATCH NEGADUCK.
WHAT'S THE POINT?
I THINK I'LL JUST
WATCH SOME TV.
NEGADUCK'S CRIME WAVE HAS
TERRORIZED THE ENTIRE CITY.
NEGADUCK HAS ROBBED
THE FIRST THROUGH
NINTH NATIONAL BANKS.
NEGADUCK IS NOW ROBBING
THE TENTH NATIONAL BANK.
LET'S GO
TO OUR LIVE MINICAM.
YOU'D BETTER COWER,
OR FEEL THE WRATH
OF NEGADUCK.
NEGADUCK,
TOM LOCKJAW HERE.
WHAT CAN YOU SAY
TO THE PEOPLE
OF ST. CANARD?
NOW THAT DARKWING DUCK
HAS RETIRED,
I MAKE THE RULES
FOR ST. CANARD!
WHAT'S THE PENALTY
FOR BREAKING
THOSE RULES?
YOU DON'T WANT
TO FIND OUT.
NOW A WORD
FROM OUR SPONSOR.
UH, ROLL THE
COMMERCIAL, PLEASE.
I'M YOUR SPONSOR NOW.
ANY OBJECTIONS?
NO, NONE AT ALL.
CITIZENS, WITH THE EXCLUSIVE
NEGADUCK PROTECTION PLAN,
YOU'RE GUARANTEED
TO BE SAFE AND SOUND.
TO JOIN, JUST SEND ME--
NEGADUCK--ALL YOUR MONEY,
AND I'LL SEND YOU
THIS CHEAP LAPEL PIN.
IF YOU DON'T JOIN,
NOBODY CAN SAVE YOU,
ESPECIALLY NOT THAT
DODDERING OLD DARKWING DUCK.
GET IT?
SEE THAT?
YOU'VE GOT TO
STOP HIM!
SORRY, GOS, FIND
SOMEBODY YOUNGER.
THE OLD BACK
IS PLAYING MY SONG.
HONKER, HAVE YOU MADE ANY
PROGRESS ON HELPING DAD?
I'M 9 YEARS OLD.
MOLECULAR BIOLOGY'S
OVER MY HEAD.
LET'S GET THE THING
THAT MADE DAD FAST.
WELL, I GUESS
PARTICLE "B"
PHYSICS
IS MORE
MY SPEED.
HEY, KIDS,
HOW ABOUT A SMOKIN'
GAME OF OLD MAID?
UH, NO, THANKS, POP.
WE'LL LET HIM REST.
I'VE GOT A PLAN.
SO, WHAT'S THE PLAN?
WE FIND NEGADUCK,
THEN GRAB THE ACCELERATOR.
YOU THOUGHT OF THAT?
HOW WILL WE FIND
NEGADUCK'S HIDEOUT?
YOU CAN'T
EXPECT HIM TO HAVE
A BIG SIGN IN FRONT.
EXCUSE ME.
WHAT'S THIS LINE FOR?
WE'RE PAYING
MR. NEGADUCK HIS
PROTECTION MONEY.
YUH!
GOT IT! COME ON!
COME ON, HONK.
I WONDER WHAT
THE HECK THAT'S FOR.
I'LL BE HAPPY TO SHOW YOU.
DON'T LET THIS
HAPPEN TO YOU.
IF THESE PESKY THIEVES
HAD THE NEGADUCK
PROTECTION PLAN,
THEY WOULDN'T BE TRAPPED
AS YOU SEE,
READY TO BE ACCELERATED
INTO OLD AGE.
DON'T LISTEN TO HIM, DAD!
FACE IT, KID,
YOU'RE TOAST.
[NEGADUCK]
HA HA HA HA!
HA HA HA HA!
AAH!
AAH!
AAH!
AAH!
[TEST PATTERN SOUND]
HELP!
DAD!
RELAX. WHO'S GOING
TO SAVE YOU?
NOT THAT RELIC,
DARKWING DUCK.
HE'S A FOSSIL.
[CREAKING]
THERE'S GOT TO BE
A WAY OUT.
IT'S A WELL-MADE
CAGE.
DON'T WORRY,
HONK-MAN.
WHEN D.W. COMES,
HE'LL--
HE WON'T COME.
HE'S GIVEN UP!
[CREAKING]
DID YOU HEAR THAT?
THAT DOOR DIDN'T
CREAK BEFORE.
[LAUNCHPAD]
THEN IT MUST BE...
DAD! I KNEW YOU'D COME!
EVEN AT MY AGE,
DARKWING DUCK
HAS WHAT IT TAKES
TO DEFEAT NEGADUCK.
[NEGADUCK]
IS THAT RIGHT?
WELCOME, O ANCIENT ONE.
CAN I GET YOU ANYTHING?
STRAINED PRUNES?
DENTURE ADHESIVE?
SEEING YOU BEHIND BARS
WILL BE MORE THAN ENOUGH,
NEGADUCK.
GET HIM, DARKWING.
[MUTTERING]
NOW I'VE GOTTA GO TO
THE CORNER DRUGSTORE
TO GET A NEW ROLL
OF FILM.
WHEN I RETURN,
I'LL CAPTURE
FOR ALL TIME
THE FABULOUS IMAGE
OF DARKWING DUCK
DECOMPOSING
INTO DUST!
HOW MUCH OLDER
CAN DARKWING GET?
ISN'T THERE SOME WAY
TO REVERSE THE PROCESS?
YOU MEAN LIKE
GOING BACKWARDS?
EINSTEIN ADVANCED
A CONTROVERSIAL
THEORY
OF WALKING BACKWARDS
TO REGAIN
LOST YOUTH.
WHY DIDN'T YOU
TELL US THAT EARLIER?
EINSTEIN SAID IT
DURING HIS
LATER YEARS
WHEN HE WORE
WRISTWATCHES
ON BOTH ANKLES
AND CLAIMED
ABE LINCOLN
WAS A MARTIAN.
DAD, GO BACKWARDS!
GET UP, DARKWING!
I THINK IT'S WORKING!
HE NEEDS TO GO OVER
EVERYTHING HE DID
TO REACH HIS RIGHT AGE.
WAIT FOR US!
I HAVE NO TIME
TO WAIT.
IT'S WORKING.
LOOKS LIKE I WENT
TOO FAR BACK.
I STOLE ENOUGH FILM
TO MAKE A LIBRARY
OUT OF DECOMPOSED
DARKWING GLOSSIES.
WHAT'S THE HURRY,
EVILDOER?
YOU?
BUT YOU'RE--
YOU'RE YOUNG AGAIN!
I TAKE CARE OF MYSELF
AND EAT PROPERLY.
NOT FOR LONG.
GIVE UP, NEGADUCK.
I'M A YOUNG MOUNTAIN
OF STRENGTH.
YOU MEAN YOU'RE
AN OLD PILE OF DUST.
[GOSALYN]
OH, NO! HE'S AGING
REALLY FAST!
OOH!
[DARKWING]
YOUR CONCERN FOR
ME IS TOUCHING.
YOU'RE ALIVE!
AND YOU'RE NOT
MOVING AT
SUPERSPEED.
I DON'T GET IT.
I KNEW NEGADUCK WOULD TRY
TO ZAP ME AGAIN,
SO WHEN I WAS HIT,
MY THINKING WAS SPED UP,
TOO.
FIRST, I RAN BACKWARDS
TO REDUCE MY AGE.
I ENROLLED
IN THE UNIVERSITY,
MAJORING
IN MOLECULAR BIOLOGY.
I MADE A BREAKTHROUGH
IN ACCELERATED
MOLECULAR THEORY.
I DELIVERED A PAPER
IN SWITZERLAND
AND CONCOCTED
A SUPERSPEED ANTIDOTE.
AFTER GRADUATION,
I GOT THE BAG OF DUST
THAT I DROPPED
BACK HERE,
THEREBY TRICKING
NEGADUCK.
THEN I SWALLOWED
THE ANTIDOTE.
BUT WHAT ABOUT
NEGADUCK?
I FORGOT
ALL ABOUT HIM!
HERE. DRINK THIS.
WHY, YOU...
ROTTEN...
[VOICE
SLOWS DOWN]
DON'T WORRY,
GOSALYN.
I DON'T THINK
MR. NEGADUCK
IS GOING ANYWHERE.
WHOA!
HE'S FROZEN!
ONE OF MY EXPERIMENTS
LED ME TO DISCOVER
A SLOW-MOTION POTION.
WHAT WILL YOU DO
WITH HIM NOW, DAD?
HMM...
A LITTLE MORE
TO THE LEFT, L.P.
IT'S GOOD TO KNOW
THAT EVEN SOMEONE
LIKE NEGADUCK
HAS HIS FANS.
♪ CHAMPION OF RIGHT ♪
♪ SWOOPS OUT
OF THE SHADOWS ♪
♪ DARKWING OF THE NIGHT ♪
♪ SOMEWHERE
SOME VILLAIN SCHEMES ♪
♪ BUT HIS NUMBER'S UP ♪
3, 2, 1!
♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪
♪ WHEN THERE'S TROUBLE
YOU CALL D.W. ♪
♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪
LET'S GET DANGEROUS.
♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪
DARKWING, DARKWING DUCK!
♪ A CLOUD OF SMOKE
AND HE APPEARS ♪
♪ THE MASTER OF SURPRISE ♪
♪ WHO'S THAT CUNNING
MIND BEHIND ♪
♪ THE SHADOWY DISGUISE ♪
♪ NOBODY KNOWS FOR SURE ♪
♪ THE BAD GUYS
ARE OUT OF LUCK ♪
♪ HERE COMES ♪
♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪
LOOK OUT!
♪ WHEN THERE'S TROUBLE
YOU CALL D.W. ♪
♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪
LET'S GET DANGEROUS!
♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪
♪ YOU BETTER WATCH OUT,
YOU BAD BOYS ♪
♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪♪
GOSALYN, THIS WAS
A BAD IDEA.
JUST KEEP YOUR MONEY
IN A PIGGY BANK.
PIGGY BANKS DON'T
COMPOUND INTEREST DAILY.
WE'LL NEVER
GET TO THE FRONT.
OH, DAD, RELAX.
BUILDING FINANCIAL
SECURITY TAKES TIME.
[HAMMERING]
I AM THE SCREECHING
FINGERNAIL
ON THE CHALKBOARD
OF JUSTICE,
THE SOUR BALL IN
THE CANDY JAR OF GOODNESS.
I AM NEGADUCK!
THIS IS THE FIRST PORTABLE
PARTICLE ACCELERATOR,
WHICH I, NEGADUCK, STOLE.
WHAT AN EGO.
EVER SEEN
ANYTHING LIKE IT?
HE DOESN'T REALIZE
HE'S IN THE HANDS
OF DARKWING DUCK.
THIS ACCELERATOR SPEEDS UP
THE MOLECULES IN THE SAFE,
ALLOWING ME TO WALK
IN BETWEEN AND NAB THE LOOT!
OR BLOW UP THE ENTIRE CITY.
WHATEVER.
IT'LL BE A BLAST.
I'M THE TERROR
THAT FLAPS IN THE NIGHT,
THE HEIMLICH MANEUVER
FOR CRIME'S CHOKING VICTIMS.
WELL, CHOKE ON THIS,
DO-GOODER.
I'M A TOUCH TOO FAST,
NEGADOPE.
MAYBE SO, BUT NOT
FOR MY ACCELERATOR.
DARKWING!
HOW I HATE BANKING
WITH BUFFOONS.
ARE YOU O.K.?
NEVER BETTER.
YOU COULD'VE
GOT US KILLED!
YOU'D PREFER
I DID NOTHING?
YES!
YES!
YES!
THAT MOB WAS READY
TO FEED ME TO THE
AUTOMATED TELLER.
WHERE IS GOSALYN?
OUTSIDE PLAYING BALL.
HOW CAN SHE PLAY
BASEBALL AT DINNERTIME?
OH!
THAT BRANCH IS WEAK.
YOU MIGHT...
GOSALYN!
DAD, WHERE DID YOU
COME FROM?
I JUST STEPPED OUT...
THE FRONT DOOR?
THAT WAS
QUICK THINKING.
YEAH, DAD.
YOU GOT HERE SUPERFAST!
IT MUST HAVE BEEN
THE EXCITEMENT.
GOSALYN, LOOK.
WHAT YOUR DAD DID
WAS PHYSICALLY IMPOSSIBLE.
LET'S SEE.
IMPOSSIBLE, EH?
ADRENALINE
COULDN'T MAKE YOU
MOVE THAT FAST.
NEGADUCK'S ACCELERATOR!
THEN YOU ARE SUPERFAST!
YOU MEAN I ACTUALLY HAVE
A SUPERPOWER?
SEE THAT?
I'M SUPERFAST.
I'M THE MONARCH
OF MOTION. I'M...
[SNIFFING]
YIKE!
WHAT HAPPENED?
FRICTION.
AT SUPERSPEED,
EVEN THE AIR
IS A PROBLEM.
A MINOR SETBACK.
WITH MY NEW SUPERPOWER,
I'LL THWART NEGADUCK EASILY.
DIPPING DAD'S COSTUME
IN NON-STICK COATING
IS WAS A GREAT IDEA.
IT'S FINE.
NO TIME TO LOSE!
BETTER GET A SCOOTER!
NOTHING ON THE ROAD
CAN PASS THIS BABY.
I DON'T KNOW.
IT SEEMS A LITTLE
SLUGGISH TO ME!
AT THIS SPEED,
CATCHING NEGADUCK
WILL BE A SNAP.
I'VE RUN OUT OF ROAD.
NO PROBLEM.
THOUGHT I WOULDN'T
STOP IN TIME, RIGHT?
YOU'VE BEEN WORKING
ON THIS BUILDING
FOR WEEKS.
I'LL FINISH
WHILE YOU'RE ON
A COFFEE BREAK.
NOW THAT'S
HOW IT'S DONE.
YOU SHOULD SUE
YOUR ARCHITECT.
NO SIGN OF NEGADUCK.
HE'LL LEARN
THERE'S NO HIDING
FROM THE SULTAN OF SPEED.
I HAVEN'T CHECKED THIS BANK.
[ALARM RINGS]
AAH!
WAS IT NEGADUCK?
WHICH WAY DID HE GO?
HE'S GETTING AWAY!
SURRENDER,
YOU SCOUNDREL!
YOU CAN'T DO THAT.
YOUR ACCELERATOR
BACKFIRED, NEGADUCK.
YOU GAVE ME SUPERSPEED!
YOU GOT A SUPERPOWER
FROM ME?
THAT'S NOT FAIR!
THAT'S--I MEAN,
IT'S PART OF MY PLAN.
I MEANT TO DO THAT.
IT CLEARS MY SINUSES.
HE MAY RUN FAST,
BUT HIS THINKING'S
STILL SLOW.
WHERE'S THAT NEGADUCK?
UP HERE, DIMWIT.
THIS STORE FEATURES
IMPORTED CRYSTAL.
VERY EXPENSIVE.
I'M TOO FAST FOR YOU,
NEGADUCK.
YOU LOSE, NEGADUCK.
I'LL CAN CATCH
ANYTHING YOU...
THROW.
THIS PLACE HAS
A GREAT HARDWARE
DEPARTMENT, TOO.
DAD! DAD!
IT'S WHAT WE THOUGHT.
WHAT ARE YOU
SAYING?
TELL HIM, HONK.
MY RESEARCH INDICATES
A MAJOR SIDE EFFECT.
TO YOUR SUPERSPEED.
YOU'RE GETTING OLD!
MOVING AT SUPERSPEED
CAUSES YOU TO AGE
AT AN ACCELERATED RATE.
WHY, THAT'S RIDICULOUS.
I'VE NEVER FELT BETTER
IN MY LIFE.
THAT'S UTTERLY
IMPOSSIBLE.
[ALARM RINGS]
HEAR THAT? NEGADUCK
HAS STRUCK AGAIN.
HE WON'T GET AWAY.
GOOD THING I GOT
AN EXTRA LARGE
GLOVE BOX.
HALT! YOU CAN'T
OUTRUN...THE ACE OF...
ACCELERATION, NEGADUCK.
IS THIS A JOKE, GRAMPS?
STEP ASIDE.
WAIT...IS THAT YOU?
YE--HOO HOO, BOY!
WHY, LOOK AT YOU.
YOU'RE ANCIENT.
YOU'RE A FOSSIL.
JUST A CREAKING
MASS OF BONES
AND HARDENED ARTERIES.
HOLD STILL,
YOU WHIPPERSNAPPER.
I PLANNED THIS.
ST. CANARD WILL BE MINE!
D.W.! D.W.!
ENJOY YOUR
GOLDEN YEARS, GRAMPS.
I KNOW I WILL.
KEEP STILL
OR YOU'LL END UP...
JUST A PILE
OF DUST AND BONES.
HE HASN'T MOVED.
IF HE MOVES,
HE'LL AGE FASTER.
IF HE STAYS THERE,
HE MIGHT AS WELL
BE PETRIFIED.
I CAN'T MOVE.
I'LL GET MORE DECREPIT.
HE'S GOT
A GOOD POINT.
YOU SEE?
I'M STAYING PUT.
IT'S FOR YOU, D.W.
NEGADUCK LEFT IT
AT HIS LAST ROBBERY.
I WONDER
WHAT'S INSIDE?
"TO DARKWING DUCK,
MY OLDEST ENEMY.
AND I DO MEAN OLDEST.
HA HA HA."
THAT'S NOT FUNNY.
A ROCKING CHAIR.
ISN'T THAT NICE?
IT IS NOT!
IT'S AN INSULT.
DARKWING DUCK'S NOT
GOING TO SIT AROUND
IN A ROCKING CHAIR,
IS HE?
SLOW DOWN, SIR.
EVEN HIGH-SPEED
ROCKING
WILL AGE YOU.
REMEMBER WHEN I WAS AN
ACTIVE YOUNG CRIMEFIGHTER?
SEEMS LIKE JUST YESTERDAY.
ITWAS JUST YESTERDAY!
DAD, YOU CAN'T GIVE IN!
I HAVE NO CHOICE, GOSALYN.
I'LL KNIT AN AFGHAN.
GOOD IDEA. D.W.
YOU DON'T WANT THOSE
TIRED OLD BONES
TO CATCH A CHILL.
AT THIS RATE,
THERE'LL BE
NOTHING LEFT OF ME
BUT DUSTBUSTER BAIT.
THERE HAS TO BE A WAY
TO KEEP DAD GOING
TILL WE FIND A CURE.
I THOUGHT WE HAD
TO KEEP HIM STILL.
DAD, TELL US
HOW YOU'D CATCH NEGADUCK.
WHAT'S THE POINT?
I THINK I'LL JUST
WATCH SOME TV.
NEGADUCK'S CRIME WAVE HAS
TERRORIZED THE ENTIRE CITY.
NEGADUCK HAS ROBBED
THE FIRST THROUGH
NINTH NATIONAL BANKS.
NEGADUCK IS NOW ROBBING
THE TENTH NATIONAL BANK.
LET'S GO
TO OUR LIVE MINICAM.
YOU'D BETTER COWER,
OR FEEL THE WRATH
OF NEGADUCK.
NEGADUCK,
TOM LOCKJAW HERE.
WHAT CAN YOU SAY
TO THE PEOPLE
OF ST. CANARD?
NOW THAT DARKWING DUCK
HAS RETIRED,
I MAKE THE RULES
FOR ST. CANARD!
WHAT'S THE PENALTY
FOR BREAKING
THOSE RULES?
YOU DON'T WANT
TO FIND OUT.
NOW A WORD
FROM OUR SPONSOR.
UH, ROLL THE
COMMERCIAL, PLEASE.
I'M YOUR SPONSOR NOW.
ANY OBJECTIONS?
NO, NONE AT ALL.
CITIZENS, WITH THE EXCLUSIVE
NEGADUCK PROTECTION PLAN,
YOU'RE GUARANTEED
TO BE SAFE AND SOUND.
TO JOIN, JUST SEND ME--
NEGADUCK--ALL YOUR MONEY,
AND I'LL SEND YOU
THIS CHEAP LAPEL PIN.
IF YOU DON'T JOIN,
NOBODY CAN SAVE YOU,
ESPECIALLY NOT THAT
DODDERING OLD DARKWING DUCK.
GET IT?
SEE THAT?
YOU'VE GOT TO
STOP HIM!
SORRY, GOS, FIND
SOMEBODY YOUNGER.
THE OLD BACK
IS PLAYING MY SONG.
HONKER, HAVE YOU MADE ANY
PROGRESS ON HELPING DAD?
I'M 9 YEARS OLD.
MOLECULAR BIOLOGY'S
OVER MY HEAD.
LET'S GET THE THING
THAT MADE DAD FAST.
WELL, I GUESS
PARTICLE "B"
PHYSICS
IS MORE
MY SPEED.
HEY, KIDS,
HOW ABOUT A SMOKIN'
GAME OF OLD MAID?
UH, NO, THANKS, POP.
WE'LL LET HIM REST.
I'VE GOT A PLAN.
SO, WHAT'S THE PLAN?
WE FIND NEGADUCK,
THEN GRAB THE ACCELERATOR.
YOU THOUGHT OF THAT?
HOW WILL WE FIND
NEGADUCK'S HIDEOUT?
YOU CAN'T
EXPECT HIM TO HAVE
A BIG SIGN IN FRONT.
EXCUSE ME.
WHAT'S THIS LINE FOR?
WE'RE PAYING
MR. NEGADUCK HIS
PROTECTION MONEY.
YUH!
GOT IT! COME ON!
COME ON, HONK.
I WONDER WHAT
THE HECK THAT'S FOR.
I'LL BE HAPPY TO SHOW YOU.
DON'T LET THIS
HAPPEN TO YOU.
IF THESE PESKY THIEVES
HAD THE NEGADUCK
PROTECTION PLAN,
THEY WOULDN'T BE TRAPPED
AS YOU SEE,
READY TO BE ACCELERATED
INTO OLD AGE.
DON'T LISTEN TO HIM, DAD!
FACE IT, KID,
YOU'RE TOAST.
[NEGADUCK]
HA HA HA HA!
HA HA HA HA!
AAH!
AAH!
AAH!
AAH!
[TEST PATTERN SOUND]
HELP!
DAD!
RELAX. WHO'S GOING
TO SAVE YOU?
NOT THAT RELIC,
DARKWING DUCK.
HE'S A FOSSIL.
[CREAKING]
THERE'S GOT TO BE
A WAY OUT.
IT'S A WELL-MADE
CAGE.
DON'T WORRY,
HONK-MAN.
WHEN D.W. COMES,
HE'LL--
HE WON'T COME.
HE'S GIVEN UP!
[CREAKING]
DID YOU HEAR THAT?
THAT DOOR DIDN'T
CREAK BEFORE.
[LAUNCHPAD]
THEN IT MUST BE...
DAD! I KNEW YOU'D COME!
EVEN AT MY AGE,
DARKWING DUCK
HAS WHAT IT TAKES
TO DEFEAT NEGADUCK.
[NEGADUCK]
IS THAT RIGHT?
WELCOME, O ANCIENT ONE.
CAN I GET YOU ANYTHING?
STRAINED PRUNES?
DENTURE ADHESIVE?
SEEING YOU BEHIND BARS
WILL BE MORE THAN ENOUGH,
NEGADUCK.
GET HIM, DARKWING.
[MUTTERING]
NOW I'VE GOTTA GO TO
THE CORNER DRUGSTORE
TO GET A NEW ROLL
OF FILM.
WHEN I RETURN,
I'LL CAPTURE
FOR ALL TIME
THE FABULOUS IMAGE
OF DARKWING DUCK
DECOMPOSING
INTO DUST!
HOW MUCH OLDER
CAN DARKWING GET?
ISN'T THERE SOME WAY
TO REVERSE THE PROCESS?
YOU MEAN LIKE
GOING BACKWARDS?
EINSTEIN ADVANCED
A CONTROVERSIAL
THEORY
OF WALKING BACKWARDS
TO REGAIN
LOST YOUTH.
WHY DIDN'T YOU
TELL US THAT EARLIER?
EINSTEIN SAID IT
DURING HIS
LATER YEARS
WHEN HE WORE
WRISTWATCHES
ON BOTH ANKLES
AND CLAIMED
ABE LINCOLN
WAS A MARTIAN.
DAD, GO BACKWARDS!
GET UP, DARKWING!
I THINK IT'S WORKING!
HE NEEDS TO GO OVER
EVERYTHING HE DID
TO REACH HIS RIGHT AGE.
WAIT FOR US!
I HAVE NO TIME
TO WAIT.
IT'S WORKING.
LOOKS LIKE I WENT
TOO FAR BACK.
I STOLE ENOUGH FILM
TO MAKE A LIBRARY
OUT OF DECOMPOSED
DARKWING GLOSSIES.
WHAT'S THE HURRY,
EVILDOER?
YOU?
BUT YOU'RE--
YOU'RE YOUNG AGAIN!
I TAKE CARE OF MYSELF
AND EAT PROPERLY.
NOT FOR LONG.
GIVE UP, NEGADUCK.
I'M A YOUNG MOUNTAIN
OF STRENGTH.
YOU MEAN YOU'RE
AN OLD PILE OF DUST.
[GOSALYN]
OH, NO! HE'S AGING
REALLY FAST!
OOH!
[DARKWING]
YOUR CONCERN FOR
ME IS TOUCHING.
YOU'RE ALIVE!
AND YOU'RE NOT
MOVING AT
SUPERSPEED.
I DON'T GET IT.
I KNEW NEGADUCK WOULD TRY
TO ZAP ME AGAIN,
SO WHEN I WAS HIT,
MY THINKING WAS SPED UP,
TOO.
FIRST, I RAN BACKWARDS
TO REDUCE MY AGE.
I ENROLLED
IN THE UNIVERSITY,
MAJORING
IN MOLECULAR BIOLOGY.
I MADE A BREAKTHROUGH
IN ACCELERATED
MOLECULAR THEORY.
I DELIVERED A PAPER
IN SWITZERLAND
AND CONCOCTED
A SUPERSPEED ANTIDOTE.
AFTER GRADUATION,
I GOT THE BAG OF DUST
THAT I DROPPED
BACK HERE,
THEREBY TRICKING
NEGADUCK.
THEN I SWALLOWED
THE ANTIDOTE.
BUT WHAT ABOUT
NEGADUCK?
I FORGOT
ALL ABOUT HIM!
HERE. DRINK THIS.
WHY, YOU...
ROTTEN...
[VOICE
SLOWS DOWN]
DON'T WORRY,
GOSALYN.
I DON'T THINK
MR. NEGADUCK
IS GOING ANYWHERE.
WHOA!
HE'S FROZEN!
ONE OF MY EXPERIMENTS
LED ME TO DISCOVER
A SLOW-MOTION POTION.
WHAT WILL YOU DO
WITH HIM NOW, DAD?
HMM...
A LITTLE MORE
TO THE LEFT, L.P.
IT'S GOOD TO KNOW
THAT EVEN SOMEONE
LIKE NEGADUCK
HAS HIS FANS.