Darkwing Duck (1991–1992): Season 2, Episode 1 - That Sinking Feeling - full transcript

♪ DARING DUCK OF MYSTERY ♪

♪ CHAMPION OF RIGHT ♪

♪ SWOOPS OUT
OF THE SHADOWS ♪

♪ DARKWING OF THE NIGHT ♪

♪ SOMEWHERE
SOME VILLAIN SCHEMES ♪

♪ BUT HIS NUMBER'S UP ♪

3, 2, 1!

♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪

♪ WHEN THERE'S TROUBLE
YOU CALL D.W. ♪

♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪

LET'S GET DANGEROUS.



♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪

DARKWING, DARKWING DUCK!

♪ A CLOUD OF SMOKE
AND HE APPEARS ♪

♪ THE MASTER OF SURPRISE ♪

♪ WHO'S THAT CUNNING
MIND BEHIND ♪

♪ THE SHADOWY DISGUISE ♪

♪ NOBODY KNOWS FOR SURE ♪

♪ THE BAD GUYS
ARE OUT OF LUCK ♪

♪ HERE COMES ♪

♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪

LOOK OUT!

♪ WHEN THERE'S TROUBLE
YOU CALL D.W. ♪

♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪

LET'S GET DANGEROUS!



♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪

♪ YOU BETTER WATCH OUT,
YOU BAD BOYS ♪

♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪♪

THE CITY OF ST. CANARD

IS HOME TO
A THOUSAND CRIMINALS.

NOT ONE DARES
MAKE A MOVE.

THIS CITY'S SHADOWY GUARDIAN
HUNTS THEM IN THE DARKNESS.

I AM THAT GUARDIAN.

I AM THE TERROR
THAT FLAPS IN THE NIGHT.

I AM THE WINGED SCOURGE

THAT PECKS
AT YOUR NIGHTMARES.

I AM DARKWING DUCK!

AND I AM...TOTALLY BORED
OUT OF MY SKULL.

ARE ALL THE CROOKS
ON VACATION?

ARE THEY ALL ON
SOME CRIMINAL HOLIDAY?

LIGHTEN UP. IT MEANS
YOU'RE DOIN' A GREAT JOB
CRIME-BUSTIN'.

I SUPPOSE, BUT I'M NOT
ASKING FOR MUCH--

A JAYWALKER,
A LITTERBUG--ANYTHING!

SOMETHING TOOK
THE OIL TANKER.

I'D LIKE THAT.

NO, REALLY! DOWN THERE!

OH, YEAH? WHERE?

DOWN THERE!
A BIG HOLE
OPENED UP!

WELL, I DON'T SEE ANY--

OH, WAAAIT A MINUTE.

I APPRECIATE THE ATTEMPT,

BUT EVERY NIGHT
CAN'T BE FILLED
WITH ADVENTURE.

LET'S GO HOME.

HAH! DISAPPEARING
TANKERS.

NO, REALLY.
IT FELL DOWN
A BIG HOLE!

HUH?

AAAA! DARKWIIIINGGG!

[SNORING]

[RING]

DAD, WAKE UP!
WE GOT A CASE!

C'MON, DARKWING.

IT'S ON TV DOWNSTAIRS.

GOSALYN,
AFTER I GET UP

AND HAVE
MY CUP OF COFFEE,

REMIND ME
TO PUNISH YOU...

SEVERELY.

COME OOON!
IT'S A CASE!

OHH!

[COUGH COUGH COUGH]

[GULP]

[COUGH]

CAN WE FIND
A MORE PLEASANT WAY
OF WAKING ME,

LIKE EXPLOSIVES
UNDER MY PILLOW?

SEE? I
WASN'T CRAZY...

NO MORE
THAN USUAL.

AND SO IT APPEARS

THAT THE EARLY MORNING
DISAPPEARANCES

OF THE SS LANGDALE
AND RADIO STATION KDUQ

WERE NOT ISOLATED
INCIDENTS.

JUST AN HOUR AGO,

EMPLOYEES OF THE ST. CANARD
ELECTRIC PLANT

BARELY ESCAPED AS THE
STATION SANK OUT OF SIGHT.

SORRY FOR DOUBTING YOU.

THIS IS DEFINITELY
A JOB FOR DARKWING DUCK.

WE'RE SET TO GO.

"WE" ARE GOING
NOWHERE.

YOU GO TO THE BASEBALL
GAME, LIKE PLANNED.

NO WAY!

BUT I KNOW ABOUT
UNDERGROUND STUFF...

LIKE WHEN
THE EVIL WORM PEOPLE

WERE TURNING KIDS
INTO ZOMBIE SLAVES.

YOU PUT EXTRA SUGAR

ON YOUR FROSTY-O's THIS
MORNING, DIDN'T YOU?

THIS ISN'T A COMIC BOOK.
IT'S REALITY.

LOOK, GOSALYN,
I'M NOT GOING TO CHANCE
GETTING YOU HURT

ON A CASE.

YOU TURN MUSHY
WHEN THINGS GET FUN.

WHAT I SAY GOES.

BESIDES,
IT'S PROBABLY

ANOTHER
TAKE-OVER-THE-WORLD
SCHEME.

WE'LL BE BACK
BY DINNER.

IT'S COMIN' UP.

HANG A RIGHT,
WE'RE THERE.

WHOA! DEEP HOLE!
HOW DO WE GET DOWN?

YOU RAPPEL.

SORRY. IT'S
MY DEODORANT.

RAPPEL! RAPPEL!
WATCH ME!

PLANT YOUR FEET.

HAND ON ROPE RELEASE.

THEN NIMBLY PUSH OFF,
LIKE SO...

AND SO...

AND SO...

WOW, GREAT CAMOUFLAGE.

YOU REALLY BLEND
INTO THE ROCK.

NOTHING LIKE A CRUISE
ON THE OPEN SEAS.

MAYBE I'LL STEAL
AN OCEAN NEXT.

I'M SUCH A GENIUS.

IT'S A WONDER MY BRAIN
CAN CONTAIN IT.

MOLIARTY, SIR!
YOUR KINETO BEAM

IS CONNECTED
TO THE POWER PLANT.

EXCELLENT.
PREPARE THE ELEVATORS
TO RECEIVE THE STADIUM.

LOOK AT THEM SCURRY OFF,
EAGER TO PLEASE.

THESE SHEEP JUST NEEDED
A REAL LEADER.

SOON I'LL LEAD THEM
TO THEIR TRUE DESTINY

ON THE SURFACE
AND GET RICH, TOO.

OH, GROWNUPS WANT KIDS
TO BE MISERABLE.

THEY THINK
IT BUILDS CHARACTER.

I THINK YOUR DAD
JUST WORRIES
ABOUT YOU GETTING HURT.

NO. HE'S ALWAYS
TREATING ME LIKE A BABY...

WHILE HE HOGS
ALL THE FUN.

OUCH.

NICE SHORTCUT,
D.W.

RIGHT.

HEY, WAIT A MINUTE.

WHERE'S
THE ELECTRIC PLANT?

IT'S NOT LIKE
YOU COULD HIDE IT
UNDER A ROCK.

HMM. NO TREAD MARKS.

WHAT'S STRONG ENOUGH TO MOVE
AN ENTIRE BUILDING?

I THOUGHTWE HAD
A BUG PROBLEM.

[CHEERING]

IT'S COMING
FROM THAT WAY.

FOLLOW THAT BEETLE.

GREAT. AND ME
WITH NO BUG SPRAY.

IT IS TIME WE MOLES ESCAPED
THESE DINGY TUNNELS

TO ACHIEVE
OUR DESTINY ABOVE!

MY AMAZING KINETO BEAM

WILL PLUNGE THE SURFACE
INTO DARKNESS,

AND THE AGE OF MOLES
WILL BEGIN!

HOORAY!
YAY!

YAY!
HOORAY!

SO PREPARE FOR
YOUR NEW LIVES UP ABOVE.

STOCK UP ON MOLIARTY'S
NONGLARE SUNGLASSES

AND TANNING BUTTER.

IF YOU'RE MAKING
THE WORLD DARK,

HOW COME WE
NEED SUNGLASSES?

NEVER MIND.

ANOTHER
CHEAP HUCKSTER

WITH PLANS OF
WORLD DOMINATION.

I SAY WE SHUT HIM
DOWN HARD.

LAUNCHPAD,
LET'S GET DANGEROUS.

AND NOW TO APPROPRIATE
THE FINAL COMPONENT

OF MY AMAZING KINETO BEAM!

BEHOLD THE GENIUS
OF MOLIARTY!

COME ON, HONKER!

WOW! THE WHOLE PLACE
IS SINKING.

YEAH. JUST LIKE
THE POWER PLANT.

GOSALYN!

OHH!

I WON'T MISS
THIS ADVENTURE!

BUT...BUT...

OOH, IT'S AMAZING
MY BRILLIANCE
DOESN'T BLIND PEOPLE.

[THUD]

WHAT? WHAT HAPPENED?

HA HA HA!

SOMEONE'S
LAUGHING AT ME.

I HATE THAT.

I AM THE TERROR
THAT FLAPS IN THE NIGHT!

I AM THE WINGED SCOURGE

THAT PECKS
AT YOUR NIGHTMARES.

I AM DARKWING DUCK!

DARKWING DUCK?

SOUNDS LIKE SOMETHING
YOU TRY WITH EGG ROLLS.

YEAH? WELL,
I WAS SMART ENOUGH

TO STOP YOUR PLAN.

OH, WERE YOU, NOW?

WELL, THAT'S CERTAINLY
IMPRESSIVE.

WELL, IT IS.

LAUNCHPAD
AND YOUR DAD

ARE IN TROUBLE.

OH, WHAT WOULD
GROWNUPS DO
WITHOUT US?

HAH!

SUCK GAS, EVILDOER!

AHH HA HA!

TEAR GAS.

NOW IT'S
OUR TURN

TO TRASH
THE BAD GUY.

BE WARNED!

WE'RE MASTERS OF
EVERY MARTIAL ART!

EXCEPT TRASH CAN
TAI CHI.

I BELIEVE
THAT'S NEW.

WHOOPS.

WELL,
THIS MUST BE

A NEW
RECYCLING IDEA--

YOU BROUGHT
YOUR OWN CAN.

I LIKE THAT
IN RUBBISH.

TAKE THE DARKWING DUPES
TO THE SLUG PITS.

DON'T GET
DISCOURAGED.

IT SEEMS
ONLY YESTERDAY

WE ESCAPED A TRAP

JUST AS THREATENING
AS THIS.

BEING EATEN ALIVE
BY SLUGS

STANDS OUT IN MY MIND
AS BEING UNIQUE.

HE DOES GET POINTS
FOR IMAGINATION.

OH, DARKWING DUCK!

ARE YOU COMFY?

WOULDN'T WANT ANYTHING

TO DISTRACT
FROM THE ENTERTAINMENT.

JUST PEACHY, MOLIARTY.

WHY DON'T YOU
JOIN US?

THE VIEW'S
BETTER HERE.

ALAS, I HAVE A WORLD
TO CONQUER.

I DON'T BELIEVE I'VE
EXPLAINED MY PLAN.

GREAT. HE WANTS
TO TORTURE US.

THE LIGHT OF THE
SURFACE WORLD IS TOO STRONG

FOR A MOLE'S EYES.

WHY CONQUER A WORLD

IF YOU HAVE TO LEAVE
IT AT DAWN?

THAT'S WHERE MY GENIUS
COMES IN.

THE OIL TANKER MERELY
POWERED MY KINETO BEAM.

IT'S THE BASEBALL STADIUM
AND RADIO TOWER

THAT ARE THE ANTENNA

WHICH FOCUSES
ON THE MOON.

THE MOON?

OH, YOU'RE
A LUNA-TIC!

HO HO! HOW DROLL.

SEE IF YOU LAUGH

WHEN THE MOON BLOCKS
THE SUN,

SHROUDING THE COUNTRY
IN ETERNAL NIGHT!

MY MOLES ARE BEGINNING THEIR
SURPRISE ATTACK NOW,

UNHINDERED BY PAINFUL
SUNLIGHT.

AND YOU PLAN
TO MAKE A KILLING

SELLING FLASHLIGHT
BATTERIES.

MAKE A NOTE OF THAT.

BRAVO, DARKWING.

YOUDO HAVE FLASHES OF
INSPIRATION.

I'LL MISS THEM...

NOT!

TIME TO CALL THE CHILDREN.

IT'S BEEN A WHILE
SINCE THEY'VE HAD COMPANY...

FOR DINNER.

OF ALL THE WAYS
TO DIE,

I GOT TO GO
AS SLUG BAIT.

YOU STAY HERE

AND MAKE SURE
NOTHING GOES WRONG.

IF IT DOES, SHOOT THEM.

WELL, GOODBYE, DARKMEAT.

DAD!
IT'S US!

WHY ARE
YOU HERE?

CAN YOU
GET US OUT?

WHAT ABOUT IT?

I'LL FIGURE
THE ROCK'S WEAK POINT.

YOU CAN DO IT!

JUST DO IT.

I'VE ONLY CHECKED
MY CALCULATIONS TWICE.

THIS ISN'T THE TIME
TO KEEP US WAITING, HONKER!

HONKER!
HONKER!

O.K.

WAY TO GO, HONKMAN.

YEAH, YEAH.

WE'VE GOT TO STOP
MOLIARTY.

GUESS THIS PROVES
HOW VALUABLE I AM.

YOU? GUESS YOU
WEREN'T INVOLVED

WITH THE TRASH CAN
INCIDENT.

WHAT TRASH CAN?

IF IT WASN'T FOR YOU,
WE'D BE MOPPING UP NOW.

YEAH, LIKE YOU
WEREN'T TRAPPED.

IT TAKES MORE
THAN MOLES

TO TRAP ME.

WHEN WE REACH
THE SURFACE,

GET RIGHT HOME.

YOU CAN'T DO
THAT!

I CAN AND I AM.

UH, SLUGS ARE,
UH--

THEN AGAIN,
MAYBE SENDING YOU HOME

ISN'T THE BEST
IDEA JUST NOW.

WE HAVE TO CUT
OFF POWER

TO
THE KINETO BEAM.

STAYIN' ALIVE
WOULD BE NICE, TOO.

INTO THIS ALLEY.

IT'S A DEAD END.

NO PROBLEM. WE'LL
JUST DOUBLE BACK

AN-YAN-YAND...

GOOD THING YOU SAVED
THAT SALT PACKET

FROM YOUR FRIES.

THAT WAS PRETTY
QUICK THINKING.

IT'LL TAKE ALL
OF US

TO STOP
THAT BEAM.

ALL OF US?

YES! ALL OF US!

YAHOO--MMPLRF!

I THOUGHT KEEPING
THE ELEMENT OF SURPRISE

WOULD BE NICE.

RIGHT. SURPRISE.

SO WHAT'S
THE PLAN, D.W.?

IF THE MOLES WANT
TO MOVE IN,

IT WOULD BE
UNETHICAL

TO HIDE
THE DRAWBACKS OF
THE SURFACE WORLD.

DARKWING DUCK TO
RAT CATCHER.

CODE WORDS--
LET'S GET DANGEROUS.

ALL RIGHT, TROOPS.
TIME TO CATCH MOLIARTY.

FINALLY, MY GENIUS
RECEIVES THE REWARDS

IT SO RICHLY DESERVES.

[SNIFF]

ALL THE DELICACIES
OF THE SURFACE WORLD

ARE LAID OUT BEFORE ME.

IT'S A PITY THEY WERE
OUT OF KETCHUP.

MOLIARTY!

IT'S DARKWING DUCK!

PLEASE, I'M EATING.

THIS ISN'T A TIME

TO DISCUSS
SLUG LUNCHES.

BUT HE'S LOOSE
AND ATTACKING OUR TROOPS!

WHAAAT?

THIS ISN'T A JOKE.
I'D HATE THAT.

NO, SIR.

I HATE IT ANYWAY.

I WANT HIM
HUMILIATED!

RUN HIM DOWN.

BRING HIS
REMAINS TO ME.

I WANT
SOME KETCHUP, TOO.

THE CITY REALLY
SHOULD DO SOMETHING

ABOUT THOSE POTHOLES.

AN ACCIDENT
WAITING TO HAPPEN.

MMM-MM!

THESE SURE BEAT
THE FUNGUS PIE BACK HOME.

BUT NO BURGER'S
COMPLETE

WITHOUT OUR SPECIAL
CHILI PEPPER SAUCE.

IT'S A SURFACE WORLD
DELICACY.

WELL, THEN,
POUR IT ON, SLAVE!

NOTHING'S TOO GOOD
FOR YOUR MOLE MASTERS.

SORRY, BUT WE
HAVE TO GO NOW.

THAT MEANS NO TIP?

ANOTHER PERIL OF
THE SURFACE WORLD--

THE DREADED
HAY FEVER ATTACK.

AAH!

AH-CHOO!
AH-CHOO!

[SNIFFLE SNIFFLE]

[COUGH COUGH]

[COUGH COUGH]

THEY WANT TO GO HOME?

I STILL HAVE
TANNING BUTTER LEFT!

GREAT.

WITH THE TROOPS OUT
OF THE WAY,

NOTHING CAN STOP
US NOW.

THAT'S A PRETTY BIG
NOTHING.

MY BRILLIANT SCHEMES,

MY GLORIOUS INTELLECT

BEING THWARTED BY
THAT ADDLE-PATED DARKWING--

WHAT?

SIR, DARKWINGDUCK.

I KNOW, BUT
WHAT'S HE UP TO?

YOU SURE
ABOUT THIS?

I KNEW THE JOB WAS
DANGEROUS

WHEN I TOOK IT.

BE CAREFUL,
DARKWING!

HE'S GIVEN UP.
HE'LL BASH HIS BRAINS OUT!

OH, HOW FESTIVE.

RATS!

I MISSED
THE LITTLE CREEP.

I MEANT THAT.

D.W.,
ARE YOU O.K.?

HAH!

THE DARING DARKWING DUCK

DEFIES DEATH
YET AGAIN

AND DEFEATS THE DESPICABLE
DENIZENS OF DARKNESS!

OH, DAD!

MOLIARTY!

ALL MY PLANS,

THE FRUITS
OF MY GENIUS...

RUINED!

BY A FUNNY BOOK
REJECT.

FINESSE THIS,
DEADMEAT DUCK!

WE SHOULD
BE SAFE BEHIND
THESE BARRELS OF--

FUEL OIL?

HOOWEE, HEH-HEH!

THAT HIGH-OCTANE
SURE PACKS A PUNCH.

QUICK, GOSALYN!
USE MY GAS GUN!

HEE HEE HA HA!

YOU SHOOT A MADMAN
WITH LAUGHING GAS?

WELL, IT WASN'T LABELED.

AT LEAST NOW
HE'S A HAPPY MADMAN.

THAT DOES IT!

I SAY WE
TOAST THIS TOAD.

YOU IN?

YEAH.

WHERE IS THAT COWARD?

DOES HE THINK HE CAN OUTWIT
MY STUNNING INTELLECT

WITH HIDE-N-SEEK?

IT'S A BEAUTIFUL DAY
FOR A BALLGAME.

IT'S A CLOSE CONTEST

BETWEEN THE
DARKWING DUCKS

AND THE MOLIARTY
MINI-MOLES.

I WILL NOT BE MOCKED!

AND HERE'S
THE PITCH!

HUH?

HAH! MISSED!

IT'S A LINE DRIVE!

HEADS UP!

AND YOU'RE OUT!

YOU'RE FINISHED,
MOLIARTY.

YOU MIGHT AS WELL
GIVE UP.

NEVER!

YOU HAVEN'T HEARD
THE LAST OF ME!

WE'LL MEET AGAIN!

I'LL HOLD MY BREATH
AND COUNT THE MINUTES.

AT THE SAME TIME?

ONE MORE EVIL
PLOT FOILED.

YOU WERE A REAL
HELP, GOSALYN.

THAT'S WHY I SHOULD
HAVE A NEAT NAME, TOO,

LIKE THE SCARLET QUACKETTE.

WHAT?

AND AN ORANGE COSTUME,
RIGHT, LAUNCHPAD?

I LIKE ORANGE.

THIS ISNOT GOING
TO BECOME A HABIT!

THAT'S NOT FAIR.

YOU'RE STAYING HOME.

I CAN TAKE CARE
OF MYSELF.

YOU CAN'T EVEN TAKE
CARE OF YOUR ROOM.

THAT'S A CHEAP SHOT.