Darkwing Duck (1991–1992): Season 1, Episode 46 - My Valentine Ghoul - full transcript

♪ DARING DUCK OF MYSTERY ♪

♪ CHAMPION OF RIGHT ♪

♪ SWOOPS OUT OF
THE SHADOWS ♪

♪ DARKWING OF THE NIGHT ♪

♪ SOMEWHERE SOME
VILLAIN SCHEMES ♪

♪ BUT HIS NUMBER'S UP ♪

3, 2, 1!

♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪

♪ WHEN THERE'S TROUBLE
YOU CALL D.W. ♪

♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪

LET'S GET DANGEROUS.



♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪

DARKWING, DARKWING DUCK!

♪ A CLOUD OF SMOKE
AND HE APPEARS ♪

♪ THE MASTER OF SURPRISE ♪

♪ WHO'S THAT CUNNING
MIND BEHIND ♪

♪ THE SHADOWY DISGUISE ♪

♪ NOBODY KNOWS FOR SURE ♪

♪ THE BAD GUYS ARE
OUT OF LUCK ♪

♪ HERE COMES ♪

♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪

LOOK OUT!

♪ WHEN THERE'S TROUBLE
YOU CALL D.W. ♪

♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪

LET'S GET DANGEROUS!



♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪

♪ YOU BETTER WATCH OUT,
YOU BAD BOYS ♪

♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪♪

OH, DARKWING.

DINING IN MY FAVORITE PLACE
WITH MY FAVORITE DUCK.

IT'S ALL SO ROMANTIC.

ROMANTIC... RIGHT.

ANY PLACE I'M WITH YOU
IS ROMANTIC IN MY BOOK,
MORGANNA.

OH, DARK, HOW SWEET.

BLAAA!

I'M WITH YOU, ARCHIE.

GET A LIFE!

IS SOMETHING WRONG,
DARK DARLING?

YOU'VE HARDLY
TOUCHED YOUR FOOD.

WELL, I REALLY NEVER
LIKED FAST FOOD.

BESIDES I JUST CAN'T GET
MY MIND OFF DIAMONDS.

DIAMONDS? AS IN
ENGAGEMENT RINGS?

NO. AS IN CRIME RING.

DIAMONDS ARE DISAPPEARING
ALL ACROSS ST. CANARD.

OH, I SEE. YOU'RE
TALKING ABOUT A CASE.

WELL, I COULD HELP
YOU WITH THAT.

HOLD IT. THE LAST
TIME YOU HELPED ME,

YOU TURNED ME
INTO A RUTABAGA.

THAT WAS JUST A
TEENIE ACCIDENT.

SORRY, BUT I JUST CAN'T HAVE
YOU GETTING IN MY WAY AGAIN.

SO, I GET IN YOUR
WAY. IS THAT IT?

WELL, PERHAPS I SHOULD
REPHRASE THAT.

OK, YOU'RE UPSET, RIGHT?

THAT'S NOT UPSET--

THIS IS UPSET!

WATCH IT!

CAREFUL!

MORG!

IT'S NOT THE BEST DATE
THEY'VE EVER HAD,

BUT IT IS FUN TO WATCH.

AAAH, A DIAMOND
ENGAGEMENT RING--

PERFECT FOR THE
NEGADUCK COLLECTION.

WELL, MYRTLE, WILL
YOU MARRY ME?

YAAAAA!

WHAT'S THE MATTER, PAL?

DON'T YOU BELIEVE IN
LOVE AT FIRST FRIGHT?

I BETTER CHECK THIS OUT.

AAH, MORGANNA MACABRE.

SHE USED TO BE A
FIRST-RATE CROOK

UNTIL SHE FELL FOR
THAT SECOND-RATE
CRIME FIGHTER,

DARKWING DUCK.

THIS IS JUST THE SORT OF
IMMATURE BEHAVIOR

I'D EXPECT FROM AN EX-CROOK.

SO THAT'S WHAT THIS
IS ALL ABOUT--

YOU DON'T TRUST ME.

NO, NO, NO. NOT AT ALL.

IT'S JUST THAT THEY SAY
PEOPLE NEVER REALLY CHANGE.

WHAT?!

WELL, I DIDN'T SAY
IT. THEY SAID IT.

OF COURSE I'M SAYING IT NOW.
I WISH THEY WERE HERE.

IF YOU CAN'T TRUST ME,

THEN YOU CAN
CONSIDER US THROUGH.

BUT MORGANNA, WE AND
ME AND YOU AND I...

HER MAGIC WOULD FIT
PERFECTLY INTO MY PLAN.

TIME TO GO A-COURTIN'.

WAIT A SECOND, MORGANNA.
SWEETIE.

I--I-- OH, BOY.

OUCH.

OK, I'LL DEAL WITH
DARKWING DIPLOMAT.

EEK AND SQUEAK, YOU GUYS
WORK ON MORGANNA.

WE'LL HAVE THIS ROMANCE
PATCHED UP IN NO TIME.

ABSOLUTELY NOT. NEVER.

NOT IN A MILLION YEARS.

FORGET IT. I'D RATHER GIVE
UP MY HEX-OF-THE-MONTH CLUB

THAN EVER TALK TO
DARKWING AGAIN.

[ KNOCKING AT DOOR ]

OH, DEAR. THAT MIGHT
BE HIM NOW.

HOW DO I LOOK?
AM I PALE ENOUGH?

ARE MY COBWEBS STRAIGHT?

[ DOORBELL ]

I GOT IT. I GOT IT.

A-A-A-ACHOO!

NOW WHO COULD THIS BE?

NEGADUCK!

WHAT ARE YOU DOING
HERE?! YOU VILLAIN!

VILLAIN NO MORE,
MORGANNA.

I HAVE REFORMED.

I FIND THAT HARD
TO BELIEVE.

OH, WOE IS ME.

I EXPECTED THIS
FROM THE OTHERS,

BUT YOU...YOU WERE
ONCE A CRIMINAL.

IF YOU DON'T TRUST
ME, WHO WILL?

BAA-HAAA-HAAA!

WELL, I-- THAT IS, I--

BOO-HOOO-HOOO!

WELL, OF COURSE
I TRUST YOU.

OH, THANK YOU. THANK YOU.

YOU DON'T KNOW HOW MUCH
THIS MEANS TO ME.

MORGANNA, I'M SORRY.
I...YAA-YAAA...

DARKWING...

WHAT'S GOING ON HERE?

YOU WON'T BELIEVE IT--

NEGADUCK HAS GIVEN
UP HIS EVIL WAYS.

YOU'RE RIGHT. I
DON'T BELIEVE IT.

OH, BUT IT'S TRUE. I'VE
STARTED MY OWN COMPANY.

NEGA-SWEETS.

I MAKE VALENTINE
CANDY.

LIKE WHAT?
CHOCOLATE-COVERED GRENADES?

OK, MORGANNA, WHAT WERE YOU
AND THE CASANOVA OF CRIME

REALLY UP TO?

WHY, DARKWING,
DON'T TELL ME...

YOU'RE JEALOUS.

MOI? JEALOUS OF NEGADUCK?

SURE, HE'S HANDSOME,

A SNAPPY DRESSER,

FABULOUSLY WEALTHY,

BUT I, ON THE OTHER
HAND, AM DESPERATE.

OH, PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE.

DON'T TOSS ME
ASIDE, MORGANNA.

PLEASE GIVE ME ONE MORE
CHANCE. I BEG OF YOU.

LOOK, TOMORROW'S
VALENTINE'S DAY,

I'LL TAKE YOU ON THE
GREATEST DATE OF YOUR LIFE.

SURE. YOU TWO GO
HAVE YOUR FUN.

I'LL BE JUST FINE.

SO WHAT IF TEMPTATIONS
LURE ME BACK

TO A LIFE OF CRIME
AND DEGRADATION?

BAAA-HAAA-HAAAA!

I KNOW. WHY DON'T ALL
THREE OF US GO OUT?

YOU WANT TO BRING A
CRIMINAL ON A DATE
WITH US?

FORMER CRIMINAL. OR
DO YOU STILL THINK

PEOPLE NEVER CHANGE?

WHO? ME? NO, NO,
NO, NO. NO WAY.

THEN LET'S FORGIVE
AND FORGET.

YEAH, LET'S LET
BYGONES BE BYGONES.

FROM NOW ON, WE'LL
ALL BE PALS.

THIS CARNIVAL'S NOTHING
BUT A BUNCH OF CREEPS,

MUTANTS, AND MISFITS.

JUST LIKE MY LAST
FAMILY REUNION.

ARE YOU BOYS HAVING FUN?

YES.
NO.

GOOD. WHAT SHALL
WE DO FIRST?

HOW 'BOUT
GETTING RID OF
THE COMPETITION?

YOU DON'T FOOL
ME, NEGADUCK!

EN GARDE!

DARKWING, YOU OUGHT
TO BE ASHAMED.

WE'RE ALL FRIENDS
NOW, REMEMBER?

YEAH. REMEMBER?

BUT--BUT--

HE-- AND WITH FIRE AND OUCH
AND BURNS AND-- OOH!

COME ON, GUYS. DAD
NEEDS OUR HELP.

HERE WE ARE-- THE PERFECT
VALENTINE'S DAY RIDE.

YOU ARE NOT TAKING MY DATE
INTO THE TUNNEL OF LOVE.

WHY, OF COURSE NOT, DARK.

THIS IS A RIDE FOR LOVERS.

NOW YOU TWO ENJOY.

AH, THANKS. I GUESS.

MAYBE I WAS WRONG
ABOUT NEGADUCK.

MAYBE HE REALLY
HAS REFORMED.

OH, DARK DARLING. YOU SEE?
YOU CAN TRUST PEOPLE.

YEAH, DARK DARLING. YOU
CAN EVEN TRUST ME.

TRUST ME TO OBLITERATE YOU.

NOW THAT WE'RE ALL ALONE
IN THE TUNNEL OF LOVE,

HOW 'BOUT A LITTLE KISS?

A KISS? SURE, WHY NOT?

I MEAN, AH... ONE
KISS COMING UP.

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY,
DARKWING DUCK.

I'M WAITING... DARKWING?

WELL, FOR HIS SAKE I HOPE HE
WENT TO GET A BREATH MINT.

HEY! GET ME OUTTA HERE!

OH, MORGANNA, YOU
JUST MISSED DARKWING.

WHERE DID HE GO?

OH, DEAR. I PROMISED
NOT TO SAY ANYTHING.

OK, YOU DRAGGED
IT OUT OF ME--

HE WENT OFF TO
FOIL SOME CRIME.

WITHOUT ME?

HE SAID HE WOULD'VE
ASKED FOR YOUR HELP,

BUT, WELL, "ONCE A
CROOK, ALWAYS A CROOK."

HE SAID THAT?

OH, WHY THAT ARROGANT,
DIRTY, ROTTEN. NO GOOD,

PARASITIC, UNTRUSTING,
UNCARING, UNMANNERED,

SCARLET LITTLE... OOOH!

IT'S GONNA TAKE A
MIRACLE TO GET MORGANNA

AND DAD TOGETHER NOW.

WHA-- HEY! WHOA!

EEK, SQUEAK, SLOW DOWN.

WATCH IT. CAREFUL.
NOT SO FAST.

HEY, I THOUGHT YOU WERE
TAKING ME TO MORGANNA'S

MAGIC SPELL BOOK.

BUT THERE ARE NO WORDS IN
THIS STUPID BOOK.

CAREFUL. AND WATCH
WHO YOU CALL STUPID.

IT'S NOT POLITE,
DON'T YOU KNOW.

WAY COOL, A TALKING BOOK.

I AM THE QUACKRENOMICON.

ANCIENT, FORBIDDEN, TOME
OF THE SORCERERS ART.

BUT YOU CAN CALL ME QUACKY.

NOW WHAT'LL IT BE?

A CURSE? TURN LEAD TO
GOLD? YOU NAME IT.

HAVE YOU GOT A LOVE
POTION, QUACKY?

I SEE. BOY PROBLEMS, EH?

NOT FOR ME. FOR MY DAD.

YEAH, RIGHT. WELL, FIRST,
YOU'RE GONNA NEED THREE
NEWT'S EYES,

A CUP OF PUREED TOAD,

AND 12 SLUG'S KNUCKLES.

SLUG'S KNUCKLES? KEEN GEAR!

BOY, THIS STUFF STINKS.

MUST BE THE MARKY DROOL.

GREAT. THAT'LL
BE PERFECT.

OOPS.

OUR LITTLE FRIEND WILL
BE ALL RIGHT NOW.

YOU SEE, THE MORE
LOVE POTION YOU USE,

THE LONGER IT LASTS.

OH, COMPANY.

THANKS AGAIN FOR THE
RIDE HOME, NEGADUCK.

SAY, MORGANNA, HAVE
YOU EVER THOUGHT
ABOUT GOING BACK

TO A LIFE OF CRIME?

NEGADUCK, PLEASE! I
WANT TO BE ALONE.

NOW, GOOD NIGHT.

MAYBE IT'S NOT GONNA BE
THAT EASY GETTING MORGANNA

TO FALL BACK INTO A
LIFE OF CRIME.

AT LEAST, NOT UNTIL
SHE FALLS FOR ME.

AH, MY SWEET
MAGICAL MORGANNA,

MY BEWITCHING WITCH,
MY-- HEY!

NEGADUCK, WHAT
ARE YOU DOING?

CAN'T YOU SEE WE ARE
MADE FOR EACH OTHER?

FORGET IT! THE ONLY DUCK I'M
INTERESTED IN IS DARKWING.

HOWEVER, I'M NOT SO SURE
ABOUT HIM ANYMORE.

AH-HA! CARE TO
EXPLAIN THIS,
MORGANNA?

MAMBO LESSONS, I SUPPOSE.

AND WHY SHOULD I EXPLAIN?

YOU'RE THE ONE WHO
DISAPPEARED.

REMEMBER?

YEAH, BUT I CAN EXPLAIN.

I BETTER SPRAY
MORGANNA QUICK

BEFORE DAD EXPLAINS HIMSELF
INTO EVEN MORE TROUBLE.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE
UP TO, NEGADUCK, BUT--

PE-UUU! TRY AND SWITCH
COLOGNES, NEGS.

OOPS.

NEGADUCK, BUDDY.
HOW'S MY BESTEST PAL?

HERE, LET ME MAKE
YOU COMFORTABLE.

THERE. THAT'S BETTER.

I KNOW I SAID
FORGIVE AND FORGET,

BUT THIS IS NEGADUCK.

OH, DON'T BE SILLY.

ME AND NEGARONNY ARE BROS,
COMPADRES, CHUMS.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE
TRYING TO PULL, DARKWING--

OH, WHAT'S THE MATTER,
NEGSIE, OLD PAL?

IS THERE SOMETHING ELSE
I COULD DO FOR YOU?

YEAH! GO JUMP OFF A CLIFF.

ANYTHING FOR
YOU, NEGMEISTER

GERONIMO!

OOH, BUMMER.

AND TO THINK,
ALL THIS TIME,

ALL I HAD TO DO WAS ASK.

NOW, WHERE WERE WE?

OH, YES... YOUR BEAK IS A GOLDEN
TEMPLE OF RAPTUROUS BLISS.

DARKWING! YOU'RE ALL RIGHT.

I PICKED THESE FOR YOU AT THE
BOTTOM OF THE CLIFF, NEGABUDDY.

WHEW! IT'S ABOUT TIME THAT
LOVE POTION WORE OFF.

DON'T WORRY, MORGANNA. HE
WON'T SPOIL OUR ROMANCE.

I'LL JUST HAVE HIM JUMP
OVER ANOTHER CLIFF.

THE ONLY THING
I'M GONNA JUMP
IS YOU!

WILL SOMEONE PLEASE TELL
ME WHAT IS GOING ON?

A LOVE POTION?

WHOSE IDIOTIC
IDEA WAS THAT?

HIS.

NICE HOUSEWARES YOU'VE
GOT, MORGANNA.

REAL DURABLE.

NOW GIVE ME A KISS AND STOP
PLAYING SO HARD TO GET.

I'M NOT PLAYING!

BYE BYE. IF I DIDN'T
KNOW BETTER,

I'D SAY YOU WERE TRYING TO
GIVE ME THE COLD SHOULDER.

OOOH! I WAS.

NICE SHOOTIN', ANNIE OAKLEY.

WITH ENEMIES LIKE YOU,

WHO NEEDS FRIENDS?

OH, DON'T WORRY, MORGANNA.

YOU'LL WARM UP TO ME.

HA-HA. I LOVE IT.

QUICK, FOLLOW THEM.
I'LL DEFROST DAD.

YAAAA!

HELLO AGAIN, MY LOVE.

I'VE GOT A LITTLE
SURPRISE FOR YOU.

DIAMONDS?

SO, YOU'RE BEHIND ALL
THOSE DIAMOND ROBBERIES!

BELIEVE ME, I
FEEL TERRIBLE--

STOOPING TO SUCH
PETTY CRIMES.

BUT YOU JUST CAN'T
IMAGINE HOW EXPENSIVE

A THERMONUCLEAR WARHEAD
IS THESE DAYS.

AND YOUR STORY ABOUT
GIVING UP CRIME

AND STARTING A CANDY
COMPANY WAS ALL LIES!

NOTALL LIES--

WELCOME TO THE NATIONAL
NEGASWEET CANDY FACTORY.

AND INTERNATIONAL DIAMOND
SMUGGLING HEADQUARTERS.

WHO'D EVER CHECK A BOX
OF VALENTINE CANDY FOR
STOLEN GEMS?

OF COURSE, NOW YOU'LL BE
ABLE TO SPEED UP MY
OPERATION 1,000 TIMES.

JUST USE YOUR MAGIC TO
MAKE THESE DIAMONDS AS
BIG AS BOULDERS.

FORGET IT, NEGADUCK.
I'VE GIVEN UP CRIME.

OH, COME ON,
MORGANNA.

ONCE A CRIMINAL,
ALWAYS A CRIMINAL.

HOW DARE YOU!

GIVE IT UP! I'M TOO QUICK.

NOW, CARE FOR
SOME CHOCOLATE?

OH, YUM. I'VE ALWAYS LOVED
WOMEN WITH GOOD TASTE.

I AM THE TERROR
THAT FLAPS IN
THE NIGHT!

I AM THE LOLLYPOP THAT
STICKS IN YOUR HAIR.

I AM--

HA-HA-HA-HA!

WELL, IF IT ISN'T
CHOCOLATE-DIPPED DUCK?

HA-HA-HA-HA!

NEGADUCK! HERE I COME!

READY OR NOT!

OH, PE-UUU!

OH, NO. A LOVE POTION.

SO NICE OF YOU TO DROP IN.

WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT?!

YEP, ONCE AGAIN, SAVED BY
MY BUZZ-SAW CUFF LINKS.

DARK, DARLING...

YEAH, YEAH, YEAH. TELL ME
HOW HEROIC I AM LATER.

RIGHT NOW, IT'S TIME TO GIVE
NEGADUCK HIS JUST DESSERTS.

GOSALYN, DID YOU FORGET
WHOSE SIDE YOU'RE ON?

YAAAAA!

THAT'LL TEACH YOU TO TRY
AND HURT OUR BEST BUDDY,
NEGADUCK.

DID I MISS SOMETHING?

IT MUST BE THE
LOVE POTION.

SUCK FROSTING,
DO-GOODER!

IF THOSE TWO GIVE
YOU ANY MORE TROUBLE

JUST LET ME KNOW.

UH-OH.

HOPE YOU LIKE
MY FROSTING,
IT'S MY SPECIALTY.

LOW CALORIE,
HIGH OCTANE!

OH, THE LOVE
POTION. THANKS.

MIND IF I BORROW YOUR
GAS GUN, DARK DARLING?

MY GAS GUN? MY
PERSONAL GAS GUN?

OH, FOR ONCE IN YOUR
LIFE, TRUST ME.

UH-OH.

WHAT'S THAT SMELL?

MORGANNA, DARLING...

NEGADUCK, MY LITTLE
HONEY WUMPUS.

HEY! I'M SUPPOSED TO
BE YOUR LITTLE HONEY
WUMPUS.

CARE FOR A JAW-BREAKER,
SWEETUMS?

AH, WHY, THANK YOU.

ñ
ONE BROKEN JAW
COMING UP.

I GUESS THAT'S WHAT YOU'D
CALL A BITTERSWEET ENDING.

SEE, I TOLD YOU EVERYTHING
WOULD WORK OUT.

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY, MY
LITTLE HONEY WUMPUS.

MAY I ORDER FOR YOU, DUCK?

UH...ARE YOU SURE THAT'S
SUCH A GOOD IDEA?

DON'T YOU TRUST ME
TO ORDER DINNER?

IT'S JUST THAT YOU
ALWAYS ORDER THAT CRAWLY
STUFF AND--

OH, DARKWING DUCK, THIS
TIME YOU ASKED FOR IT!

MORGANNA! HEY,
THAT HURTS!

OOOH! OH, OOOH!

WELL, YOU KNOW WHAT THEY SAY--

YOU ALWAYS HURT THE
ONE YOU LOVE.