Darkwing Duck (1991–1992): Season 1, Episode 45 - The Incredible Bulk - full transcript

♪ DARING DUCK OF MYSTERY ♪

♪ CHAMPION OF RIGHT ♪

♪ SWOOPS OUT
OF THE SHADOWS ♪

♪ DARKWING OF THE NIGHT ♪

♪ SOMEWHERE
SOME VILLAIN SCHEMES ♪

♪ BUT HIS NUMBER'S UP ♪

3, 2, 1!

♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪

♪ WHEN THERE'S TROUBLE
YOU CALL D.W. ♪

♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪

LET'S GET DANGEROUS.



♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪

DARKWING, DARKWING DUCK!

♪ A CLOUD OF SMOKE
AND HE APPEARS ♪

♪ THE MASTER OF SURPRISE ♪

♪ WHO'S THAT CUNNING
MIND BEHIND ♪

♪ THE SHADOWY DISGUISE ♪

♪ NOBODY KNOWS FOR SURE ♪

♪ THE BAD GUYS
ARE OUT OF LUCK ♪

♪ HERE COMES ♪

♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪

LOOK OUT!

♪ WHEN THERE'S TROUBLE
YOU CALL D.W. ♪

♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪

LET'S GET DANGEROUS!



♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪

♪ YOU BETTER WATCH OUT,
YOU BAD BOYS ♪

♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪♪

[GOSALYN]
WHAT A DRAG.

WHO WANTS TO ANALYZE PLANTS
FOR A SCIENCE PROJECT?

THIS IS BORING.

I COULD BE RIDDING
ST. CANARD OF EVILDOERS.

WHAT WAS WRONG
WITH MY SCIENCE
PROJECT IDEA?

MR. AVERY
SAID SQUIDS AND
PLUTONIUM DON'T MIX.

THEY'D BE FUN
AT PARTIES.

PLANTS ARE BORING.

THIS LOOKS LIKE
A JOB FOR DARKWING DAD.

GOSALYN, YOU DON'T
HEAR ME COMPLAINING
ABOUT BEING BORED.

BECAUSE
YOU'RE A PARENT.

I KNOW THE VALUE
OF EDUCATION.

DARKWING DUCK'S POWER
IS HIS INTELLECT,

HIS AMAZING POWERS
OF DEDUCTION.

NAME?

REGINALD BUSHROOT.

OCCUPATION?

PLANT MANAGER.

GET IT, SPIKE?

PLANT MAN...SPIKE?

OH, POOR SPIKE.

I NEVER DREAMT MY FERTILIZER
WOULD SHRINK YOU.

BUT WITH THIS NEW
EXPERIMENTAL FERTILIZER,

I CAN RESTORE YOU
TO YOUR FULL SIZE.

"WARNING! THIS UNTESTED
POWERFUL FERTILIZER

"WILL CAUSE YOUR PLANTS
TO GROW LIKE CRAZY

OR KILL THEM INSTANTLY."

COME ON.

OPEN UP.

OH, DON'T BE
SUCH A BABY.

OW!

FINE. I'LL PROVE
IT WON'T HURT YOU.

HERE YOU GROW,
MY LITTLE FRIEND.

WOW!

I'VE CREATED A REGULAR
ARNOLD OLEANDER.

[BARKS]

COME ON. COME ON.
DON'T FIGHT.

OOH, ISN'T
HE MARVELOUS, SPIKE?

SUCH A TRULY
AWESOME BLOSSOM.

[GRRR!]

[BUSHROOT]
THIS FERTILIZER
IS THE GREATEST.

I KNOW
THAT INSIPID VOICE.

IT'S THAT
WEED-WIMP BUSHROOT.

[DARKWING]
I'M THE TERROR
THAT FLAPS IN THE NIGHT.

I'M THE WEED-WHACKER
IN THE GARDEN OF EVIL.

I AM DARKWING DUCK!

YOU'D BETTER GET TOUGH
IN A HURRY, BUSHROOT.

I DON'T HAVE TO.

MY DAISY
ALREADY IS.

HUH? IT'S A GOOD THING

FLOWERS ARE
SO GENTLE AND HARMLESS.

WHAT'S GOING ON?

AAH!

[BUSHROOT]
WAY TO GROW, DAISY!

THAT'S SHOWING HIM
FLOWER POWER!

[SQUEALING]

GOSALYN!

OVER THERE.
WEED KILLER.

GOT IT, HONK.

I DID IT, GOS!

WHOA!
WHOA!

HEY, YOU,
THAT'S FIGHTING DIRTY.

COME ON,
LET'S DO SOME GARDENING.

WE BETTER MAKE
LIKE A TREE AND LEAVE.

WAS THAT AN EXAMPLE
OF YOUR STUNNING INTELLECT

OR YOUR DYNAMIC
SENSE OF DEDUCTION?

MAYBE I HAVE BEEN
FAVORING BRAINS OVER BRAWN,

NOT THAT I'M NOT
IN GREAT SHAPE.

WE'LL SEE ABOUT THAT.

O.K., YOU PUNY TRAINEES,
FALL IN!

YOU'LL WORK, SWEAT,
AND FEEL THE BURN.

YOU'LL BEG ME TO QUIT.

HEY. NO PAIN, NO GAIN.

I CAN TAKE ANYTHING
YOU CAN DISH OUT.

HOW ABOUT
CHOCOLATE ICE CREAM?

WHY DOES "LUNCHPAD"
GET TO CHOW DOWN AND NOT ME?

HOW WOULD
YOU HOLD THE SPOON?

YOU KNOW THE ROUTINE.
GET STARTED.

1...

2...

3!

HEY,
YOU'RE DOING
GREAT, D.W.

TIME TO BUILD UP
YOUR STOMACH.

BUT--

THAT COMES LATER.

100 SIT-UPS, LET'S GO.

LIKE YOU SAID,
NO PAIN, NO GAIN.

VERY NICE.

NOW DAD.

SORRY, D.W.

HAH! THIS ISN'T SO HARD.

YOU REALLY GOT
INTO GREAT SHAPE, D.W.

I'M A NEW DUCK, LAUNCHPAD.

I'LL TEACH THAT ROTTEN ROOT
ABOUT CONDITIONING.

LOOKING GOOD, DAD.

THAT'S BECAUSE
I EXERCISE AND EAT RIGHT.

YECCHH! UNLIKE SOME
PEOPLE AROUND HERE.

GET SOME NUTS
AND TOFU FROM THE KITCHEN.

EWW! I'LL STICK
WITH CHOCOLATE YIP-YAPS.

SNACK TIME, HONK!

HONKMAN, YOU SPEND
TOO MUCH TIME INDOORS.

YES, SIR. BUT I WAS JUST
EXAMINING THE FERTILIZER.

IT'S UNUSUALLY STRONG.

PLUG YOUR NOSE
AND FORGET IT.

YOU KIDS
SHOULD GET OUTSIDE.

BREATHE FRESH AIR.

[HONKER]
IT'S DARK OUT, SIR.

HONKER'S TRYING TO HELP.

I DON'T NEED HELP.

I'LL FIGHT BUSHROOT
AND HIS ASSOCIATE
SOON AS I FIND THEM.

TO GET MORE FERTILIZER,

HE'LL HAVE TO RETURN
TO THE ARBORETUM.

I WONDER IF HE MIGHT
RETURN TO THE ARBORETUM!

WITH THIS FERTILIZER,

I'LL MAKE A BOMBASTIC
BOUQUET TO DO MY DIRTY WORK.

IT'S HARVEST TIME,
YOU LOW-LIFE LEGUME!

YOU'VE SOILED THIS TOWN
LONG ENOUGH, BUSHROOT.

HYAH!

MY FLOWER
IS FLOUNDERING.

HAD ENOUGH, PETAL-HEAD?

HEY! NO FAIR!

THAT'S WHAT I CALL
A PISTIL-PACKIN' PETAL-HEAD!

TCH! NO MATTER.

THE BIGGER THEY ARE,

THEY HARDER THEY--

POUND ME
INTO THE GROUND.

AND THE FINAL SCORE,

PLANTS 1,
DARKWING DUCK, A BASKET CASE.

WHEW! HE'S REALLY STUCK.

I HATE TO PRY, BUT...

FLATTENED BY A FLOWER.

HOW HUMILIATING.

WHAT YOU GOT, HONK?

THIS FERTILIZER'S
VERY UNSTABLE,

BUT IT PROMOTES
INCREDIBLE GROWTH
IN LIVING CELLS,

DRASTICALLY INCREASING
THEIR STRENGTH.

THERE'S NO TELLING
HOW IT'LL AFFECT A DUCK.

NONSENSE. THERE'S
NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT.

I FEEL...

I--I FEEL....

I FEEL....

NOTHING.

I GUESS IT
ONLY WORKS ON--

[MUTTERING]

WHEN YOU LOOK GOOD,
YOU FEEL GOOD.

I LOOK GREAT!

I'M INVINCIBLE!

[GOSALYN]
DAD! BE CAREFUL!

DON'T WORRY!

IT'S TIME FOR ACTION!

BUT YOUR CONDITION
IS HIGHLY UNSTABLE.

WHAT ABOUT
YOUR DEDUCTION AND
ANALYTICAL THINKING?

THAT STUFF'S FOR EGGHEADS.
NO OFFENSE, HONKER.

NONE TAKEN, SIR.

A MANLY DUCK
TAKES DIRECT ACTION.

BUT YOU GOT NO
TRANSPORTATION, D.W.

PLEASE. VEHICLES
ARE FOR WIMPS.

AND DARKWING DUCK
IS NO WIMP!

DON'T WORRY.
HE'S STILL FALLING.

DAD!

IT'S TIME
TO CLIP BUSHROOT.

I'M MARKETING
VIDEOTAPES OF
MY WORKOUT PROGRAM.

BETTER LOOK AT THIS
BEFORE GETTING
TOO EXCITED.

I GAVE THESE RATS
BUSHROOT'S FERTILIZER.

IT GAVE THEM MUSCLES,
LIKE THE DAISY AND YOUR DAD.

SO FORGET
THE WORKOUT PROGRAM.

WE'LL SELL
THE FERTILIZER.

OH!

HOW YOU GOING
TO FIND BUSHROOT?

EASY. I'LL JUST GO
DOOR TO DOOR.

AAH!

WHOA!
I MEAN, OOPS. SORRY.

I'LL FIND
THAT SHREWISH SHRUB

IF I HAVE TO LIFT
EVERY BUILDING.

[CHOMPING AND MUNCHING]

NOW, DON'T WORRY.

WE'LL JUST TAKE
A FEW CUTTINGS.

THIS WILL HURT ME
MORE THAN YOU.

[BELCH]

YOU CAN'T TEACH PLANTS
ANY MANNERS NOWADAYS.

THERE. THAT WASN'T
SO BAD, WAS IT?

AT LAST I'VE GOT
A FAMILY AND SOMEONE
TO DO MY DIRTY WORK.

ISN'T THIS
WONDERFUL, SPIKE?

[GRRR!]

FUN IS FUN.

WE JUST CAN'T CRUISE
AROUND ALL DAY, CAN WE?

[BELCH]

[WHISTLE BLOWS]

I SO LOVE TEA,
DON'T YOU?

OH, YES. QUITE.

FIRST THE FLOWERS
ARE THRASHED INTO
LITTLE TEA LEAVES.

I JUST ADORE THE WAY

TEA LEAVES ARE
CRAMMED FORCEFULLY

INTO CONVENIENT
LITTLE BAGS.

WE HAVE A VERY PEACEFUL
JOB, DON'T YOU AGREE?

I'M IN NO POSITION
TO CONCUR, OLD BOY.

IT'S GOOD THAT FLOWERS
ARE SO GENTLE AND HARMLESS.

WHAT CLEVER, SNEAKY TRICK
WILL YOU USE ON BUSHROOT?

HOW ABOUT
THIS ENTRANCE LINE?

"I'M THE SNAIL
THAT WASTES
ALL YOUR LEAVES"?

PRETTY GOOD, HUH?

PSYCHOLOGICAL TRICKS
ARE FOR WIMPS!

TIME TO DO
A LITTLE OLD-FASHIONED
WEED-PULLING.

UH-OH, THIS
DOESN'T LOOK GOOD.

I DIDN'T REALIZE

THE MIXTURE
WAS THIS UNSTABLE.

THIS IS HORRIBLE!

WE CAN'T SELL IT NOW.

EVERYBODY WILL WANT
THEIR MONEY BACK.

THERE'S A BIGGER
PROBLEM, GOSALYN.

YOUR DAD USED
THIS FERTILIZER.

IMAGINE WHAT
WILL HAPPEN TO HIM.

NO! NO!

NOT THE LIMES!

AT LEAST THEY DIDN'T
CALL US LIMEYS.

YOU CAN'T BLAME THEM

JUST BECAUSE TEA
IS MADE FROM PLANTS.

UH, GUYS?

TROUBLE'S BREWING,
LEAF-LIPS.

SHE LOVES ME.

SHE LOVES ME NOT.

SHE LOVES ME.

[GRRR!]

IT'S JUST
YOU AND ME, PETAL-HEAD.

OH, NO!

MY PHYSIQUE'S
BECOMING WEAK.

AND I'M
UP THE CREEK.

HANG ON, D.W.

WHOA! I WOULDN'T CALL
THOSE ATHLETE'S FEET.

YOU WOULDN'T
LEAVE ME ALONE.

NOW YOU'LL SEE.

WHEN THAT KETTLE WHISTLES,

BOILING WATER
WILL FILL THIS CUP.

THEN WE CAN ENJOY
SOME NICE DUCK TEA.

THIS BAG WON'T BUDGE.

I GUESS A WATCHED KETTLE
NEVER BOILS, RIGHT, GUYS?

NOW WHERE'S
EVERYBODY GOING?

COME ON, GUYS.
I WANT TO WATCH.

I NEVER HAVE ANY FUN.

[DARKWING]
WHEN I GET OUT,

I'LL TEAR THOSE
FLOWERS LEAF FROM STEM.

SPIKE! COME, SPIKE!

SPIKE!

RELAX, LAUNCHPAD,

I'LL SAVE YOU BEFORE
THAT KETTLE WHISTLES.

[WHISTLES]

PROBABLY.

UH-OH.
UH-OH.

WHOA!

I LIKE A HOT BATH,
BUT NOT STEAM CLEANING.

WE'VE GOT TO STOP
BUSHROOT AND HIS PALS

BEFORE THEY TURN
THIS CITY TO MULCH.

YOU'RE SURE THIS
FERTILIZER WILL WORK, HONK?

UH, NO.

THEY WENT THIS WAY.

WE GOT TO FIND DAD.

WE'LL TURN
THIS WHOLE PARK

INTO A PLANTS-ONLY
PARADISE.

WHAT'S THE PLAN,
D.W.?

THE PLAN? THAT'S RIGHT,
I MAKE PLANS.

I'M THE SHREWD TERROR
THAT OUTSMARTS IN THE NIGHT.

I'M DARKWING,
THE DEDUCTING DUCK!

I'M NOT SURE
I GOT THAT PLAN.

NEVER MIND.
JUST FOLLOW ME.

HELP ME!
HELP ME!

WHY DON'T YOU LEAVE
SOME FOR THE FISHES?

[CRYING]

MY THREE SONS!

PREPARE TO BE
JULIENNED, POTATO-HEAD.

AND I THOUGHT YOU HAD
A BIG MOUTH BEFORE.

[GRRR]

THIS GUY WOULD MAKE
SOME BOUTONNIERE.

[GRRR!]

YOU NEED
A PICK-ME-UP, DARKWING.

IT WAS ONE
HECK OF A THROW.

HAH! TAKE THAT,
PETAL-HEAD!

[GRRR!]

[GOSALYN AND LAUNCHPAD]
RUN, DARKWING!

HEY, YOUR ROOTS
ARE SHOWING.

GO, MY DAISY DYNAMO,
AND PLUCK THAT DUCK!

D.W., UP HERE!

POUR IT ON, LAUNCHPAD.

YIKES!

WHOOPS!

DON'T SHOOT!

TELL YOUR FLOWER
TO LEAVE DARKWING ALONE

OR YOU'LL
BE SUCKING WEED KILLER.

THANKS, SPIKE.

LET'S GO SEE DAISY
FINISH OFF DIRT-WING.

OHH!

STUPID BEE, GET--

IT'S COMING.
HERE'S MORE FERTILIZER.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

BRAIN NOT BRAWN,
REMEMBER?

THIS SHOULD BE GOOD.

LOOKS LIKE YOUR FLOWERS
HAVE WILTED, HEDGE-HEAD.

[LAUNCHPAD]
HANG ON, D.W.

NO!
NO!

LAUNCHPAD, THE DAISY
ALREADY RAN AWAY.

OH. HEH HEH.

I'LL BET THE VIEW'S
GREAT UP THERE.

COME ON, SPIKE.
LET'S GO.

WHAT A DISASTER.

AT LEAST I CAN DEPEND
ON YOU, SPIKE, OLD BOY.

THIS BETTER WEAR OFF
IN A HURRY.

YES, SIR.

IN THE CRIME-FIGHTING GAME,
BRAWN HELPS,

BUT IT'S BRAINS THAT
MAKE THE REAL DIFFERENCE.

[GOSALYN]
CALLING DARKWING DUCK!

MORE PAYING CUSTOMERS.

O.K. FINE.

YOU'VE GOT THE MOST
POPULAR SCIENCE
PROJECT IN SCHOOL.

YEP, YEP, YEP.

AHH.

AND THIS SKATEBOARD IDEA
TURNS A COOL PROFIT.

[GOSALYN]
JUST THINK, NEXT YEAR
WE CAN DO ICE SKATING.

IT'S A LIVING.