Daria (1997–2001): Season 2, Episode 9 - Ill - full transcript
A mysterious rash lands Daria in the hospital, but her reticence to let people know why she's there leads to some outlandish rumors at the school.
- ♪ LA-LA-LA, LA-LA ♪
♪ LA-LA-LA, LA-LA ♪
[distorted heavy metal music]
♪ ♪
- HELLO.
WE'RE MYSTIK SPIRAL,
BUT WE MIGHT CHANGE OUR NAME.
[hard rock music]
♪ ♪
♪ I'M GLAD YOU'RE HAPPY ♪
♪ WATCHING MY PAIN ♪
♪ BURNING CROP CIRCLES ♪
♪ ON MY SOUL'S RAZOR BRAIN ♪
♪ WE'VE HAD NO LOVE SCENE ♪
♪ BUT YOU'VE CUT TO THE CHASE ♪
♪ YOU'RE CHOPPING OFF MY NOSE ♪
♪ TO SPITE MY FACE ♪
both: ♪ OW, MY NOSE ♪
♪ OW, MY FACE ♪
♪ OW, MY NOSE ♪
♪ OW, MY FACE ♪
♪ OW! ♪
♪ ♪
- YOU WANT TO GO
FOR A BURGER AFTER THIS?
- WHAT?
- YOU WANT TO GO
FOR A BURGER AFTER THIS?
- WHAT?
- BURGER.
GET.
GET BURGER.
[cheers and applause]
- GET BURGER?
HMM.
OKAY.
THIS PLACE DOES
PUT ME IN THE MOOD FOR MEAT.
- COOL.
I'LL TELL TRENT
WE'RE GOING WITH HIM.
- WITH TRENT?
- YEAH, THE BAND'S
GOING OVER TO CLUSTER BURGER.
YOU'RE NOT GONNA ACT
LIKE A COMPLETE NITWIT, ARE YOU?
- DEFINE COMPLETE.
UM, I JUST NEED TO GO
TO THE BATHROOM.
- GOOD IDEA.
CHECK YOUR LACK OF MAKEUP.
- [coughing]
ALL YOURS, DUDE.
- [groaning and whimpering]
I CAN'T STAND THIS!
WHAT WAS I THINKING?
- BRITTANY?
- HMPH.
ALL RIGHT, SO KEVIN IS A STUPID,
SELFISH, CONCEITED JERK.
HE'S STILL BETTER
THAN TERRY OR JERRY
OR WHATEVER HIS NAME IS
AND THIS STUPID CLUB!
- WHO'S TERRY OR JERRY?
- OH, NO!
I'VE SAID TOO MUCH.
EW!
WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR NECK?
- HUH?
- YOUR NECK.
IT'S ALL, LIKE, BLOTCHY.
- UGH.
I DON'T KNOW.
- I'M NOT SURPRISED
YOU COULD CATCH SOMETHING
IN A HORRIBLE PLACE LIKE THIS.
- UH, BRITTANY,
COULD YOU DO ME A FAVOR?
- UM... YES?
- FIND JANE
AND TELL HER I HAD TO LEAVE.
- SURE, BUT WILL YOU PROMISE
NOT TO TELL KEVIN
ABOUT TERRY OR JERRY
OR WHOEVER?
- IN THE UNLIKELY EVENT
THAT THROUGH SOME
BIZARRE SET OF CIRCUMSTANCES
I END UP CONVERSING WITH KEVIN,
I WON'T TELL HIM
ABOUT TERRY OR JERRY.
- THANKS.
- DARIA?
YOU IN THERE?
- DON'T WORRY.
HAVE SOME CONSIDERATION
FOR FEMALE MODESTY, PLEASE.
- OH.
SURE.
SORRY.
- I'LL TELL JANE.
- I WON'T TELL KEVIN.
[loud, heavy club music]
- YEAH, SO WHEN ARE WE GOING?
♪ ♪
- "EMERGENCY."
YES, THAT IS CORRECT.
[metallic scraping]
- DARIA!
- LET'S GO.
- WHERE TO?
- UM...
- UGH!
- WHAT MAKES A HAPPY, VIBRANT,
INVOLVED TEEN
BECOME A SURLY, RESENTFUL,
WITHDRAWN TEEN?
- YEAH! WHAT?
- DRUGS.
THAT'S WHAT.
THE OLD STORY
HITS A NEW GENERATION.
[door clicks shut]
- DARIA, IS THAT YOU?
- YEAH, HI.
GOOD NIGHT.
- OH, MY GOSH, HELEN,
YOU DON'T THINK DARIA...
- JAKE, SHE WAS NEVER HAPPY,
VIBRANT, OR INVOLVED.
BESIDES,
SHE'S A STRAIGHT "A" STUDENT.
- THAT COULD BE HER COVER.
HER PUPILS.
WE SHOULD CHECK HER PUPILS.
WHAT DID I DO
WITH THAT PAMPHLET?
- JAKE, PLEASE.
- FOR ALL WE KNOW,
SHE'S DEALING MARY JO
OUT OF THE REC ROOM.
- THAT'S MARY JANE,
AND WE DON'T HAVE A REC ROOM.
[buzzing]
- [sighs]
- IT'S BRIEFS AND BAGELS DAY
AT THE CARLISLE.
- [clears throat]
UH, DARIA, I WANTED TO TALK
TO YOU ABOUT SOMETHING.
[chuckles]
HAVE YOU SEEN THIS PAMPHLET?
- HUH?
"IS YOUR TEENAGER USING DRUGS?
TEN WARNING SIGNS."
YES. YES.
NO.
MAYBE.
SOMETIMES.
HMM.
ABOUT THREE TIMES A WEEK.
AND NOT IF SHE CAN
POSSIBLY AVOID IT.
IN MY OPINION, QUINN'S CLEAN.
- WHAT?
- ALTHOUGH YOU MIGHT
WANT TO CHECK HER PUPILS.
- [chuckles]
I, UH, WAS THINKING
MORE ABOUT YOU, DARIA.
- OH, THEN YOU'RE NOT
SUPPOSED TO LET ME READ THIS.
YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO SNEAK AROUND
SPYING ON ME
AND LOOKING
THROUGH MY SOCK DRAWER.
[doorbell rings]
- OH.
KIDDO,
WHICH ONE IS YOUR SOCK DRAWER?
- I CAN SHOW YOU, DADDY.
- WELL, LOOK WHO IT IS:
INVISIBLE GIRL.
- LOOK, I'M SORRY
ABOUT LAST NIGHT.
- OH, FORGET IT.
IT WAS A RARE OPPORTUNITY:
GETTING TO HANG OUT
WITH BRITTANY IN A GRUNGE CLUB,
ALTHOUGH HER HAIR
DID LEAK ONTO MY SHOES.
- YOU'RE SURE
THAT WASN'T HER BRAIN?
- NO.
THERE WAS TOO MUCH OF IT.
ANY IDEA WHAT CAUSED
THE SO-CALLED RASH?
- I WISH I KNEW.
- ANYWAY, THE IMPORTANT THING
IS THAT
INSTEAD OF GOING TO YOUR FRIENDS
FOR HELP,
YOU RAN SCREAMING
INTO THE NIGHT.
- BASICALLY.
- PERFECTLY LOGICAL RESPONSE.
- I THOUGHT SO.
- ARROGANT, PROUD, VAIN,
THUGGISH:
KING LEAR IS ALL OF THESE
AND WORSE.
AND YET,
IF WE TILT OUR FIGURATIVE HEAD
TO THE SIDE
AND SQUINT JUST SO,
ISN'T HE ALSO
JUST A LITTLE CUDDLY?
WHAT IS IT ABOUT TYRANTS
THAT MAKES THEM SO...
I DON'T KNOW...
CHARISMATIC?
OUR OWN MS. LI...
DARIA?
OH, DEAR.
PERHAPS I SHOULD ASK
IF ANYONE ELSE
MIGHT WISH TO BE EXCUSED
BECAUSE OF
THE EMOTIONALLY SENSITIVE NATURE
OF TODAY'S SUBJECT MATTER.
- EW!
GROSS!
- IS THERE A BATHROOM
IN THIS TOWN
WITHOUT SOMEONE I KNOW IN IT?
- WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR FACE?
- I DON'T KNOW.
IT'S A RASH OR SOMETHING.
- OKAY, DON'T PANIC.
I'M SURE I HAVE SOMETHING HERE.
LET'S SEE.
MOISTURIZING CREAM WITH ALOE?
TOO LATE FOR THAT.
WELL, THERE'S HYDRO EIGHT,
THE ULTIMATE PIMPLE MEDICINE,
EXCEPT THAT'S NOT
REALLY PIMPLES, I GUESS.
- I DON'T GET IT.
YOU'RE REALLY HELPING ME?
- SKIN CARE CRISES TRANSCEND
PERSONALITY CONFLICTS, DARIA.
IT'S IN THE FASHION CLUB BYLAWS.
AND THIS IS OBVIOUSLY A CRISIS.
ICK.
NOW, THIS IS POXACIL
FOR NONSPECIFIC BLEMISHES.
AND THIS IS CYLOSOCELIN
FOR A MICRO-ZIT CONDITION.
- I DON'T REALLY THINK
ANY OF THOSE ARE WHAT I NEED.
- YEAH, IT'S TIME
FOR SOME SERIOUS PRESCRIPTIONS.
- HEY, WHAT ARE YOU DOING
WITH ALL THAT STUFF?
YOUR SKIN'S FINE.
- AND IT'S GONNA STAY THAT WAY.
WELL, SORRY I CAN'T HELP.
BYE.
- EW.
[phone ringing]
- JAKE, HONEY,
WE HAVE A PROBLEM.
DARIA'S IN
THE SCHOOL NURSE'S OFFICE.
- OH, MY GOD!
WELL, WHAT IS IT?
WHAT'D THEY FIND ON HER?
JUST TELL ME
IT'S NOT TOO LATE FOR REHAB.
- OH, JAKE, WILL YOU GET A GRIP?
SHE HAS A RASH, AND THEY WANT
HER TO SEE A DOCTOR RIGHT AWAY.
- RASHES, RASHES...
- I HAD MARY ANN
CALL DR. DAVIDSON,
BUT THE THING IS,
I'VE GOT THIS BIG CALCO MEETING.
- I CAN BE AT THE SCHOOL
IN 11 MINUTES.
Click!
RASHES.
NEVER MIND!
NO TIME NOW.
[horns honking]
DAMN IT!
[grunts]
GO TO HELL,
YOU RECKLESS BASTARD!
MY KID'S GOT A RASH!
THE DAMN WINDOW'S UP.
I SAID, "GO TO HELL,
YOU RECKLESS"...
HEY! HEY, WAIT!
HEY, GET BACK HERE!
[scribbling]
- HUH.
DARIA, I ASSUME
THE INNER LINING OF YOUR PILLOW
DOESN'T CONTAIN
ANY SYNTHETIC FIBERS?
- UM, OKAY.
- YOU DON'T DRINK
CARBONATED BEVERAGES, DO YOU?
- YES.
- DO YOU STAY AWAY FROM FOODS
WITH ARTIFICIAL COLORS,
BLEACHED FLOUR,
AND REFINED SUGAR?
- NO.
WHAT HAVE I GOT?
- [chuckles]
I HAVEN'T THE SLIGHTEST IDEA.
PROBABLY SOME KIND OF ALLERGY,
BUT WE CAN'T RULE OUT
SOMETHING A BIT MORE SERIOUS,
ESPECIALLY WITH THE SLIGHT FEVER
YOU'RE RUNNING.
JUST TO BE ON THE SAFE SIDE,
I'D LIKE TO CHECK YOU IN
TO THE HOSPITAL FOR SOME TESTS.
- NO WAY.
- THERE YOU GO.
NICE FRESH SHEETS
AND ALL TUCKED IN.
YOU'D NEVER KNOW
THAT POOR MRS. SULLIVAN
JUST LAY HERE AND...
- WHO?
- NOBODY.
NO ONE.
SEE YOU TOMORROW.
- DAD?
DAD.
- HUH?
- YOU LOOK THIRSTY.
WHY DON'T YOU GO GET A SODA?
- OH, THERE'S WATER HERE.
I DON'T WANT TO LEAVE YOU.
- GO AHEAD, DAD.
I'LL BE FINE.
TREAT YOURSELF
TO A NICE ROOT BEER
IN A FROSTY COLD CAN.
- FROSTY COLD CAN.
YOU KNOW,
I WOULDN'T MIND A ROOT BEER.
HOW ABOUT YOU, KIDDO?
- I'M FINE.
GO ON NOW.
- BE RIGHT BACK.
[dial tone and beeping]
[phone rings]
- YO.
- HI.
- HI.
WHERE ARE YOU?
- THE HOSPITAL.
- WHAT?
- JUST FOR A NIGHT OR TWO
WHILE THEY RUN SOME TESTS.
- BUMMER.
- IT'S NO BIG DEAL.
BUT THE THING IS,
I'D RATHER YOU DIDN'T TELL
ANYBODY ABOUT THIS RASH.
- [gasping]
- I'LL CALL YOU BACK.
- OH, SWEETIE.
OH, MY GOODNESS,
JUST LOOK AT YOU.
- HI, MOM.
GOOD TO SEE YOU TOO.
DAD'S GETTING A SODA.
- JAKE, HAVE YOU SEEN HER FACE?
WHAT DID THE DOCTOR SAY?
- NO ONE'S BEEN IN
TO SEE HER YET,
BUT DR. DAVIDSON
DOESN'T THINK IT'S DRUGS.
- NO ONE'S BEEN IN TO SEE HER,
AND YOU'RE GOING OUT
FOR SODAS?
JAKE, CAN'T YOU TAKE CHARGE OF
A SITUATION FOR ONE DAMN MINUTE?
- BUT I...
- HI, DARIA.
- HI, QUINN.
- IF YOU HAD ONE OUNCE
OF COMMON SENSE,
YOU'D REALIZE
THAT THESE BIG HOSPITALS
LET PATIENTS SLIP
THROUGH THE CRACKS ALL THE TIME.
YOU HAVE TO KEEP AFTER THEM
EVERY SECOND.
- BUT WE...
- YOU KNOW, THIS IS EXACTLY
THE KIND OF CONSTANT BICKERING
THAT COULD MAKE
AN OTHERWISE HAPPY YOUNG PERSON
TURN TO DRUGS.
- I WANT A DOCTOR IN HERE NOW!
OH, WHY DO I BOTHER?
NURSE?
NURSE?
NURSE!
- YOU SAID
I COULD HAVE A ROOT BEER.
- JANE?
- BRITTANY?
WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR HAIR?
- NEVER MIND THAT NOW.
HAVE YOU SEEN DARIA?
- WHY WOULD YOU WANT DARIA?
- WHAT MAKES YOU THINK
I WANT HER?
I DON'T WANT HER.
WHO SAID I WANT HER?
- YOU ASKED ME IF I'D SEEN HER.
- SHE HASN'T TOLD YOU
ANYTHING INTERESTING ABOUT ME,
HAS SHE?
- NO ONE'S EVER TOLD ME
ANYTHING INTERESTING ABOUT YOU.
- THAT'S A RELIEF.
- ANYWAY, SHE'LL BE BACK
IN A DAY OR TWO.
SHE'S IN THE HOSPITAL
WHILE THEY CHECK OUT THAT RA...
RARE CONDITION.
- CONDITION?
- YEAH, SOME... SHE'S COME DOWN
WITH A SLIGHT CASE
OF, UM... BRAIN FEVER.
IT'S A THING THAT BRAINS GET.
- WOW.
THAT SOUNDS SERIOUS.
- NO, NO, USUALLY IF YOU
JUST READ A BEST-SELLER,
IT'LL GO AWAY.
SO, UM,
NO NEED TO MENTION IT TO ANYONE.
I'LL TELL HER
YOU ASKED ABOUT HER.
- JUST ASK HER
IF SHE REMEMBERS OUR DEAL.
- WHAT DEAL?
- WHAT DEAL?
- THE DEAL YOU JUST MENTIONED.
- I DIDN'T MENTION ANY DEAL.
FORGET I SAID ANYTHING
ABOUT A DEAL.
- FORGET I SAID ANYTHING
ABOUT A HOSPITAL.
- OKAY.
- HEY, NOW WE HAVE A DEAL.
- WHAT DEAL?
- LATER.
- BRAIN FEVER.
- DEATH WORE VELVETY GREEN.
HOMICIDAL HOUSEPLANTS NEXT
ON SICK, SAD WORLD.
- THE WORD MALPRACTICE MUST
STILL HAVE SOME MEANING.
- MRS. MORGENDORFFER,
I ASSURE YOU...
[shudders]
WASN'T THIS
MRS. SULLIVAN'S ROOM?
- WHO?
- NEVER MIND.
HOW ARE YOU DOING, DARIA?
I'M DR. PHILLIPS.
- HELLO.
- HI.
I'M QUINN.
I GET SICK TOO.
- HELLO, QUINN.
- I THINK THE WAY
YOU SAVE PEOPLE'S LIVES
IS REALLY COOL.
- THANK YOU.
DARIA, THEY'LL BE COMING BY
IN A FEW MINUTES
TO TAKE A LITTLE BLOOD.
BESIDES THIS RASH,
IS THERE ANYTHING ELSE
THAT'S BEEN BOTHERING YOU?
- SHE'S BEEN SNIFFLING.
I THINK SHE MAY HAVE ALLERGIES,
BUT SHE INSISTS SHE DOESN'T.
- SNIFFLING?
WHERE'S THAT PAMPHLET?
- JAKE, GET UP
AND LET THE DOCTOR SIT DOWN.
- NO, NO, NO.
THAT'S ALL RIGHT.
ACTUALLY,
IF YOU ALL WOULDN'T MIND
LEAVING THE ROOM FOR A MOMENT,
THERE ARE A COUPLE
OF RATHER PERSONAL QUESTIONS
I'D LIKE TO ASK DARIA.
- OF COURSE.
- DON'T BOTHER.
SHE HASN'T DONE ANYTHING.
- YOU TOO, MRS. MORGENDORFFER.
- OH.
ALL RIGHT.
- LET'S MAKE THIS SHORT.
I DON'T USE DRUGS,
AND I'M NOT SEXUALLY ACTIVE.
- [chuckles] NO, OF COURSE NOT.
- WHAT DO YOU MEAN,
"OF COURSE NOT"?
- I MEAN, IF YOU SAY SO.
- SO THEN,
WHAT'D YOU WANT TO ASK ME?
- NOTHING IN PARTICULAR.
I JUST THOUGHT
YOU COULD USE A BREAK
FROM YOUR PARENTS FOR A WHILE.
YOU PLAY GIN RUMMY?
- SURE.
- ACTUALLY, I DID
WANT TO ASK YOU ONE THING.
- YEAH?
- WHAT IS IT WITH YOUR MOTHER?
- ♪ LA-LA, LA, LA-LA ♪
♪ LA-LA, LA, LA-LA ♪
- WHO ARE YOU?
- I AM ELEANOR SULLIVAN.
THIS IS MY ROOM.
- THERE MUST BE
SOME KIND OF MISTAKE.
THE NURSE'S STATION
IS DOWN THE HALL.
- MM.
- ELEANOR SULLIVAN?
MRS. SULLIVAN?
- YOU MUSTN'T BE FRIGHTENED.
I WAS FRIGHTENED,
ESPECIALLY DURING
THOSE FINAL AGONIES, OH!
BUT THAT WAS BEFORE I KNEW
WHERE I WAS GOING.
COME.
- WHERE ARE WE GOING?
- MY DEAR, DON'T YOU KNOW?
- IS THIS HEAVEN?
- MM, IT HAS MANY NAMES.
- IT'S BEAUTIFUL.
- YES.
- HEY, WHAT'S UP?
YOU WANT TO PARTY?
- EXCUSE ME?
- HEY, BABE, WHY DON'T YOU
TAKE YOUR GLASSES OFF AND RELAX?
- UM, I'M PLENTY RELAXED.
YOU CAN TELL BY MY DEEP,
RHYTHMIC BREATHING.
- OH, MAN, WHAT'D YOU DO,
BRING US ANOTHER BRAIN?
- LOOK, I JUST GO
WHERE THEY TELL ME.
- UM, IS THERE A PROBLEM?
- THIS IS HEAVEN, SWEETHEART.
WHAT WOULD WE WANT WITH A BRAIN?
- I DON'T...
- MM, SORRY.
Boom!
- [screaming]
[gasps]
- BABE, WHAT HAPPENED
TO YOUR HAIR?
- NEVER MIND THAT NOW.
DID YOU KNOW
THAT DARIA HAS BRAIN FEVER?
- BRAIN FEVER?
- YEAH.
DOESN'T THAT SOUND SERIOUS?
- YOU GET THE SCALPEL.
WE CAN USE MY DAD'S BARN
AS AN OPERATING ROOM.
- YOUR DAD DOESN'T HAVE A BARN.
- WE COULD USE YOUR BASEMENT.
- BRITTANY,
I'M SURE IF IT WERE SERIOUS,
DARIA WOULD BE IN THE HOSPITAL.
- UM...
- WHAT?
SHE IS IN THE HOSPITAL?
- EEK!
- SHE'S NOT IN THE HOSPITAL?
- [moans]
I PROMISED I WOULDN'T
SAY ANYTHING ABOUT THE HOSPITAL
BECAUSE I MADE A DEAL
WITH DARIA,
AND SHE KEPT HER PART,
AND I KEPT MY PART,
BUT THEN I MADE ANOTHER DEAL
WITH JANE.
AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW I
WAS MAKING IT UNTIL IT WAS MADE.
AND NOW I DIDN'T KEEP MY PART
BECAUSE I TOLD
ABOUT THE HOSPITAL,
SO NOW JANE'S
GONNA TELL ABOUT THE DEAL.
AND I DIDN'T MEAN ANYTHING
BY IT.
I JUST THOUGHT I'D SEE
WHAT OTHER KIDS DO AT NIGHT
WHO DON'T DO SPORTS.
AND HE DIDN'T MEAN ANYTHING
TO ME, KEVY,
I SWEAR IT!
- SO...
SHE IS IN THE HOSPITAL.
- I'M SORRY ABOUT
ALL THIS BLOOD WORK, DARIA,
BUT SO FAR, ALL SIGNS ARE GOOD.
- OTHER THAN MY HAVING TURNED
INTO MS. TOMATO HEAD, YOU MEAN.
- WELL, YEAH.
- HI.
- HEY.
- JANE, THIS IS DR. PHILLIPS.
- PLEASED TO MEET YOU.
FRIEND, NOT FAMILY, RIGHT?
- HOW CAN YOU TELL?
- DARIA SEEMED HAPPY TO SEE YOU.
I'LL STOP BY LATER.
- OKAY, THANKS.
- OOH, LA, LA.
DOCTOR, I HAVE A PAIN.
- PLEASE.
THE MAN IS A BUTCHER.
LOOK WHAT HE'S DONE TO MY FACE.
- THAT'S PRETTY RED.
UM, WHAT IS IT?
- SO FAR,
THE TESTS ARE ALL NEGATIVE.
SO PROBABLY NOTHING.
LIKE I NEED THIS.
- WHAT?
- A BIG, BRIGHT, MYSTERIOUS RASH
COVERING MY SKIN.
- I KNOW.
AND HERE YOU WERE,
PERFECTLY CAPABLE
OF ALIENATING PEOPLE
ON PERSONALITY ALONE.
- YOU KNOW,
YOU COULD'VE JUST SENT FLOWERS.
- HEY, IT'S NOT SO BAD.
AND IT'LL GO AWAY.
IF NOT THIS YEAR,
THEN DEFINITELY NEXT.
- AT LEAST NO ONE AT SCHOOL
HAS SEEN IT.
THEY PROBABLY
HAVEN'T EVEN NOTICED I'M GONE.
- DARIA?
- BRITTANY?
WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
- UM, I JUST WANTED TO THANK YOU
FOR NOT GOING BACK ON OUR DEAL.
AND I THOUGHT
I MIGHT FIND JANE HERE
AND TELL HER THAT I DID KIND OF
GO BACK ON OUR DEAL,
BUT I ALSO KIND OF WENT BACK
ON YOUR PART OF OUR DEAL,
SO THERE'S NO USE
IN YOU DOING THAT.
- WE HAD A DEAL?
- AND TO SEE HOW YOU WERE.
UM, YOU'RE KIND OF RED.
- YES, BUT I'M PROBABLY OKAY.
- GREAT!
- WHAT WAS OUR DEAL?
- DARIA?
- WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
- OH, WELL, BRITTANY SAID
YOU HAD SOME BRAIN FEVER
OR SOMETHING,
BUT YOU WEREN'T IN THE HOSPITAL.
SO I KEPT ASKING JANE,
AND SHE FINALLY ADMITTED
YOU HAD A RASH
AND YOU WERE IN THE HOSPITAL.
- SO WE JUST FIGURED
WE'D COME DOWN HERE
AND SEE FOR OURSELVES
HOW YOU WERE.
- I'M PROBABLY OKAY.
- SO THAT'S COOL.
- FOR A HUMAN LOBSTER.
- OH, SO YOU'RE A LITTLE RED.
IT COULD HAPPEN TO ANYBODY.
WELL, IT COULD HAPPEN
TO LOTS OF PEOPLE.
- DARIA?
- QUINN?
- HOW ARE YOU?
- I'M ALL...
- IS THAT DR. PHILLIPS
COMING BY TODAY?
I'VE GOT, UM... A TWINGE.
- DARIA?
- KEVIN?
- WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
- I WENT OVER TO MACK'S HOUSE,
AND THE BASEMENT WAS EMPTY.
DARIA, AM I GLAD TO SEE YOU.
- UM, THANKS, KEVIN.
- I WAS AFRAID THEY'D
START THE OPERATION WITHOUT ME.
- IT'S A LONG STORY.
- MAYBE LATER,
WHEN YOU HAVE
YOUR STRENGTH BACK.
- DARIA?
- WHO ARE YOU?
- I'M MRS. SULLIVAN.
DID I LEAVE AN ENEMA BAG HERE?
- DR. PHILLIPS WAS VERY NICE.
HE SAID DARIA'S RASH
WAS PROBABLY
TRIGGERED BY ANXIETY.
HE GAVE US A PRESCRIPTION
IN CASE IT DOESN'T
GO AWAY ON ITS OWN.
- ANXIETY?
WHAT COULD BE
GIVING YOU ANXIETY, SWEETIE?
- UM, LET'S SEE.
EVERY ASPECT OF MY LIFE?
[doorbell rings]
THAT'S JANE.
SEE YOU.
- DARIA?
- YEAH?
- YOUR FATHER AND I
JUST WANT YOU TO KNOW,
WE'RE VERY PROUD OF THE WAY
YOU HANDLED THIS SITUATION.
- THAT'S RIGHT, KIDDO.
- I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING
BUT SIT THERE LIKE A CRASH DUMMY
WHILE THEY TOOK BLOOD.
YOU WERE WORRIED, WEREN'T YOU?
- DARIA, WE'RE YOUR PARENTS.
- YEAH, WELL, UM...
THANKS FOR BEING THERE FOR ME.
- DID SHE JUST SAY...
- JAKE, DON'T SPOIL THE MOMENT.
- HEY, READY TO GO?
- YEAH.
- TRENT'S GONNA GIVE US A RIDE.
- TRENT?
- HEY, DARIA.
- WHAT?
- ♪ LA-LA, LA, LA-LA ♪
♪ LA, LA, LA ♪
♪ LA, LA, LA ♪
♪ LA, LA, LA ♪
♪ LA-LA, LA, LA-LA ♪
♪ LA-LA-LA, LA-LA ♪
[distorted heavy metal music]
♪ ♪
- HELLO.
WE'RE MYSTIK SPIRAL,
BUT WE MIGHT CHANGE OUR NAME.
[hard rock music]
♪ ♪
♪ I'M GLAD YOU'RE HAPPY ♪
♪ WATCHING MY PAIN ♪
♪ BURNING CROP CIRCLES ♪
♪ ON MY SOUL'S RAZOR BRAIN ♪
♪ WE'VE HAD NO LOVE SCENE ♪
♪ BUT YOU'VE CUT TO THE CHASE ♪
♪ YOU'RE CHOPPING OFF MY NOSE ♪
♪ TO SPITE MY FACE ♪
both: ♪ OW, MY NOSE ♪
♪ OW, MY FACE ♪
♪ OW, MY NOSE ♪
♪ OW, MY FACE ♪
♪ OW! ♪
♪ ♪
- YOU WANT TO GO
FOR A BURGER AFTER THIS?
- WHAT?
- YOU WANT TO GO
FOR A BURGER AFTER THIS?
- WHAT?
- BURGER.
GET.
GET BURGER.
[cheers and applause]
- GET BURGER?
HMM.
OKAY.
THIS PLACE DOES
PUT ME IN THE MOOD FOR MEAT.
- COOL.
I'LL TELL TRENT
WE'RE GOING WITH HIM.
- WITH TRENT?
- YEAH, THE BAND'S
GOING OVER TO CLUSTER BURGER.
YOU'RE NOT GONNA ACT
LIKE A COMPLETE NITWIT, ARE YOU?
- DEFINE COMPLETE.
UM, I JUST NEED TO GO
TO THE BATHROOM.
- GOOD IDEA.
CHECK YOUR LACK OF MAKEUP.
- [coughing]
ALL YOURS, DUDE.
- [groaning and whimpering]
I CAN'T STAND THIS!
WHAT WAS I THINKING?
- BRITTANY?
- HMPH.
ALL RIGHT, SO KEVIN IS A STUPID,
SELFISH, CONCEITED JERK.
HE'S STILL BETTER
THAN TERRY OR JERRY
OR WHATEVER HIS NAME IS
AND THIS STUPID CLUB!
- WHO'S TERRY OR JERRY?
- OH, NO!
I'VE SAID TOO MUCH.
EW!
WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR NECK?
- HUH?
- YOUR NECK.
IT'S ALL, LIKE, BLOTCHY.
- UGH.
I DON'T KNOW.
- I'M NOT SURPRISED
YOU COULD CATCH SOMETHING
IN A HORRIBLE PLACE LIKE THIS.
- UH, BRITTANY,
COULD YOU DO ME A FAVOR?
- UM... YES?
- FIND JANE
AND TELL HER I HAD TO LEAVE.
- SURE, BUT WILL YOU PROMISE
NOT TO TELL KEVIN
ABOUT TERRY OR JERRY
OR WHOEVER?
- IN THE UNLIKELY EVENT
THAT THROUGH SOME
BIZARRE SET OF CIRCUMSTANCES
I END UP CONVERSING WITH KEVIN,
I WON'T TELL HIM
ABOUT TERRY OR JERRY.
- THANKS.
- DARIA?
YOU IN THERE?
- DON'T WORRY.
HAVE SOME CONSIDERATION
FOR FEMALE MODESTY, PLEASE.
- OH.
SURE.
SORRY.
- I'LL TELL JANE.
- I WON'T TELL KEVIN.
[loud, heavy club music]
- YEAH, SO WHEN ARE WE GOING?
♪ ♪
- "EMERGENCY."
YES, THAT IS CORRECT.
[metallic scraping]
- DARIA!
- LET'S GO.
- WHERE TO?
- UM...
- UGH!
- WHAT MAKES A HAPPY, VIBRANT,
INVOLVED TEEN
BECOME A SURLY, RESENTFUL,
WITHDRAWN TEEN?
- YEAH! WHAT?
- DRUGS.
THAT'S WHAT.
THE OLD STORY
HITS A NEW GENERATION.
[door clicks shut]
- DARIA, IS THAT YOU?
- YEAH, HI.
GOOD NIGHT.
- OH, MY GOSH, HELEN,
YOU DON'T THINK DARIA...
- JAKE, SHE WAS NEVER HAPPY,
VIBRANT, OR INVOLVED.
BESIDES,
SHE'S A STRAIGHT "A" STUDENT.
- THAT COULD BE HER COVER.
HER PUPILS.
WE SHOULD CHECK HER PUPILS.
WHAT DID I DO
WITH THAT PAMPHLET?
- JAKE, PLEASE.
- FOR ALL WE KNOW,
SHE'S DEALING MARY JO
OUT OF THE REC ROOM.
- THAT'S MARY JANE,
AND WE DON'T HAVE A REC ROOM.
[buzzing]
- [sighs]
- IT'S BRIEFS AND BAGELS DAY
AT THE CARLISLE.
- [clears throat]
UH, DARIA, I WANTED TO TALK
TO YOU ABOUT SOMETHING.
[chuckles]
HAVE YOU SEEN THIS PAMPHLET?
- HUH?
"IS YOUR TEENAGER USING DRUGS?
TEN WARNING SIGNS."
YES. YES.
NO.
MAYBE.
SOMETIMES.
HMM.
ABOUT THREE TIMES A WEEK.
AND NOT IF SHE CAN
POSSIBLY AVOID IT.
IN MY OPINION, QUINN'S CLEAN.
- WHAT?
- ALTHOUGH YOU MIGHT
WANT TO CHECK HER PUPILS.
- [chuckles]
I, UH, WAS THINKING
MORE ABOUT YOU, DARIA.
- OH, THEN YOU'RE NOT
SUPPOSED TO LET ME READ THIS.
YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO SNEAK AROUND
SPYING ON ME
AND LOOKING
THROUGH MY SOCK DRAWER.
[doorbell rings]
- OH.
KIDDO,
WHICH ONE IS YOUR SOCK DRAWER?
- I CAN SHOW YOU, DADDY.
- WELL, LOOK WHO IT IS:
INVISIBLE GIRL.
- LOOK, I'M SORRY
ABOUT LAST NIGHT.
- OH, FORGET IT.
IT WAS A RARE OPPORTUNITY:
GETTING TO HANG OUT
WITH BRITTANY IN A GRUNGE CLUB,
ALTHOUGH HER HAIR
DID LEAK ONTO MY SHOES.
- YOU'RE SURE
THAT WASN'T HER BRAIN?
- NO.
THERE WAS TOO MUCH OF IT.
ANY IDEA WHAT CAUSED
THE SO-CALLED RASH?
- I WISH I KNEW.
- ANYWAY, THE IMPORTANT THING
IS THAT
INSTEAD OF GOING TO YOUR FRIENDS
FOR HELP,
YOU RAN SCREAMING
INTO THE NIGHT.
- BASICALLY.
- PERFECTLY LOGICAL RESPONSE.
- I THOUGHT SO.
- ARROGANT, PROUD, VAIN,
THUGGISH:
KING LEAR IS ALL OF THESE
AND WORSE.
AND YET,
IF WE TILT OUR FIGURATIVE HEAD
TO THE SIDE
AND SQUINT JUST SO,
ISN'T HE ALSO
JUST A LITTLE CUDDLY?
WHAT IS IT ABOUT TYRANTS
THAT MAKES THEM SO...
I DON'T KNOW...
CHARISMATIC?
OUR OWN MS. LI...
DARIA?
OH, DEAR.
PERHAPS I SHOULD ASK
IF ANYONE ELSE
MIGHT WISH TO BE EXCUSED
BECAUSE OF
THE EMOTIONALLY SENSITIVE NATURE
OF TODAY'S SUBJECT MATTER.
- EW!
GROSS!
- IS THERE A BATHROOM
IN THIS TOWN
WITHOUT SOMEONE I KNOW IN IT?
- WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR FACE?
- I DON'T KNOW.
IT'S A RASH OR SOMETHING.
- OKAY, DON'T PANIC.
I'M SURE I HAVE SOMETHING HERE.
LET'S SEE.
MOISTURIZING CREAM WITH ALOE?
TOO LATE FOR THAT.
WELL, THERE'S HYDRO EIGHT,
THE ULTIMATE PIMPLE MEDICINE,
EXCEPT THAT'S NOT
REALLY PIMPLES, I GUESS.
- I DON'T GET IT.
YOU'RE REALLY HELPING ME?
- SKIN CARE CRISES TRANSCEND
PERSONALITY CONFLICTS, DARIA.
IT'S IN THE FASHION CLUB BYLAWS.
AND THIS IS OBVIOUSLY A CRISIS.
ICK.
NOW, THIS IS POXACIL
FOR NONSPECIFIC BLEMISHES.
AND THIS IS CYLOSOCELIN
FOR A MICRO-ZIT CONDITION.
- I DON'T REALLY THINK
ANY OF THOSE ARE WHAT I NEED.
- YEAH, IT'S TIME
FOR SOME SERIOUS PRESCRIPTIONS.
- HEY, WHAT ARE YOU DOING
WITH ALL THAT STUFF?
YOUR SKIN'S FINE.
- AND IT'S GONNA STAY THAT WAY.
WELL, SORRY I CAN'T HELP.
BYE.
- EW.
[phone ringing]
- JAKE, HONEY,
WE HAVE A PROBLEM.
DARIA'S IN
THE SCHOOL NURSE'S OFFICE.
- OH, MY GOD!
WELL, WHAT IS IT?
WHAT'D THEY FIND ON HER?
JUST TELL ME
IT'S NOT TOO LATE FOR REHAB.
- OH, JAKE, WILL YOU GET A GRIP?
SHE HAS A RASH, AND THEY WANT
HER TO SEE A DOCTOR RIGHT AWAY.
- RASHES, RASHES...
- I HAD MARY ANN
CALL DR. DAVIDSON,
BUT THE THING IS,
I'VE GOT THIS BIG CALCO MEETING.
- I CAN BE AT THE SCHOOL
IN 11 MINUTES.
Click!
RASHES.
NEVER MIND!
NO TIME NOW.
[horns honking]
DAMN IT!
[grunts]
GO TO HELL,
YOU RECKLESS BASTARD!
MY KID'S GOT A RASH!
THE DAMN WINDOW'S UP.
I SAID, "GO TO HELL,
YOU RECKLESS"...
HEY! HEY, WAIT!
HEY, GET BACK HERE!
[scribbling]
- HUH.
DARIA, I ASSUME
THE INNER LINING OF YOUR PILLOW
DOESN'T CONTAIN
ANY SYNTHETIC FIBERS?
- UM, OKAY.
- YOU DON'T DRINK
CARBONATED BEVERAGES, DO YOU?
- YES.
- DO YOU STAY AWAY FROM FOODS
WITH ARTIFICIAL COLORS,
BLEACHED FLOUR,
AND REFINED SUGAR?
- NO.
WHAT HAVE I GOT?
- [chuckles]
I HAVEN'T THE SLIGHTEST IDEA.
PROBABLY SOME KIND OF ALLERGY,
BUT WE CAN'T RULE OUT
SOMETHING A BIT MORE SERIOUS,
ESPECIALLY WITH THE SLIGHT FEVER
YOU'RE RUNNING.
JUST TO BE ON THE SAFE SIDE,
I'D LIKE TO CHECK YOU IN
TO THE HOSPITAL FOR SOME TESTS.
- NO WAY.
- THERE YOU GO.
NICE FRESH SHEETS
AND ALL TUCKED IN.
YOU'D NEVER KNOW
THAT POOR MRS. SULLIVAN
JUST LAY HERE AND...
- WHO?
- NOBODY.
NO ONE.
SEE YOU TOMORROW.
- DAD?
DAD.
- HUH?
- YOU LOOK THIRSTY.
WHY DON'T YOU GO GET A SODA?
- OH, THERE'S WATER HERE.
I DON'T WANT TO LEAVE YOU.
- GO AHEAD, DAD.
I'LL BE FINE.
TREAT YOURSELF
TO A NICE ROOT BEER
IN A FROSTY COLD CAN.
- FROSTY COLD CAN.
YOU KNOW,
I WOULDN'T MIND A ROOT BEER.
HOW ABOUT YOU, KIDDO?
- I'M FINE.
GO ON NOW.
- BE RIGHT BACK.
[dial tone and beeping]
[phone rings]
- YO.
- HI.
- HI.
WHERE ARE YOU?
- THE HOSPITAL.
- WHAT?
- JUST FOR A NIGHT OR TWO
WHILE THEY RUN SOME TESTS.
- BUMMER.
- IT'S NO BIG DEAL.
BUT THE THING IS,
I'D RATHER YOU DIDN'T TELL
ANYBODY ABOUT THIS RASH.
- [gasping]
- I'LL CALL YOU BACK.
- OH, SWEETIE.
OH, MY GOODNESS,
JUST LOOK AT YOU.
- HI, MOM.
GOOD TO SEE YOU TOO.
DAD'S GETTING A SODA.
- JAKE, HAVE YOU SEEN HER FACE?
WHAT DID THE DOCTOR SAY?
- NO ONE'S BEEN IN
TO SEE HER YET,
BUT DR. DAVIDSON
DOESN'T THINK IT'S DRUGS.
- NO ONE'S BEEN IN TO SEE HER,
AND YOU'RE GOING OUT
FOR SODAS?
JAKE, CAN'T YOU TAKE CHARGE OF
A SITUATION FOR ONE DAMN MINUTE?
- BUT I...
- HI, DARIA.
- HI, QUINN.
- IF YOU HAD ONE OUNCE
OF COMMON SENSE,
YOU'D REALIZE
THAT THESE BIG HOSPITALS
LET PATIENTS SLIP
THROUGH THE CRACKS ALL THE TIME.
YOU HAVE TO KEEP AFTER THEM
EVERY SECOND.
- BUT WE...
- YOU KNOW, THIS IS EXACTLY
THE KIND OF CONSTANT BICKERING
THAT COULD MAKE
AN OTHERWISE HAPPY YOUNG PERSON
TURN TO DRUGS.
- I WANT A DOCTOR IN HERE NOW!
OH, WHY DO I BOTHER?
NURSE?
NURSE?
NURSE!
- YOU SAID
I COULD HAVE A ROOT BEER.
- JANE?
- BRITTANY?
WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR HAIR?
- NEVER MIND THAT NOW.
HAVE YOU SEEN DARIA?
- WHY WOULD YOU WANT DARIA?
- WHAT MAKES YOU THINK
I WANT HER?
I DON'T WANT HER.
WHO SAID I WANT HER?
- YOU ASKED ME IF I'D SEEN HER.
- SHE HASN'T TOLD YOU
ANYTHING INTERESTING ABOUT ME,
HAS SHE?
- NO ONE'S EVER TOLD ME
ANYTHING INTERESTING ABOUT YOU.
- THAT'S A RELIEF.
- ANYWAY, SHE'LL BE BACK
IN A DAY OR TWO.
SHE'S IN THE HOSPITAL
WHILE THEY CHECK OUT THAT RA...
RARE CONDITION.
- CONDITION?
- YEAH, SOME... SHE'S COME DOWN
WITH A SLIGHT CASE
OF, UM... BRAIN FEVER.
IT'S A THING THAT BRAINS GET.
- WOW.
THAT SOUNDS SERIOUS.
- NO, NO, USUALLY IF YOU
JUST READ A BEST-SELLER,
IT'LL GO AWAY.
SO, UM,
NO NEED TO MENTION IT TO ANYONE.
I'LL TELL HER
YOU ASKED ABOUT HER.
- JUST ASK HER
IF SHE REMEMBERS OUR DEAL.
- WHAT DEAL?
- WHAT DEAL?
- THE DEAL YOU JUST MENTIONED.
- I DIDN'T MENTION ANY DEAL.
FORGET I SAID ANYTHING
ABOUT A DEAL.
- FORGET I SAID ANYTHING
ABOUT A HOSPITAL.
- OKAY.
- HEY, NOW WE HAVE A DEAL.
- WHAT DEAL?
- LATER.
- BRAIN FEVER.
- DEATH WORE VELVETY GREEN.
HOMICIDAL HOUSEPLANTS NEXT
ON SICK, SAD WORLD.
- THE WORD MALPRACTICE MUST
STILL HAVE SOME MEANING.
- MRS. MORGENDORFFER,
I ASSURE YOU...
[shudders]
WASN'T THIS
MRS. SULLIVAN'S ROOM?
- WHO?
- NEVER MIND.
HOW ARE YOU DOING, DARIA?
I'M DR. PHILLIPS.
- HELLO.
- HI.
I'M QUINN.
I GET SICK TOO.
- HELLO, QUINN.
- I THINK THE WAY
YOU SAVE PEOPLE'S LIVES
IS REALLY COOL.
- THANK YOU.
DARIA, THEY'LL BE COMING BY
IN A FEW MINUTES
TO TAKE A LITTLE BLOOD.
BESIDES THIS RASH,
IS THERE ANYTHING ELSE
THAT'S BEEN BOTHERING YOU?
- SHE'S BEEN SNIFFLING.
I THINK SHE MAY HAVE ALLERGIES,
BUT SHE INSISTS SHE DOESN'T.
- SNIFFLING?
WHERE'S THAT PAMPHLET?
- JAKE, GET UP
AND LET THE DOCTOR SIT DOWN.
- NO, NO, NO.
THAT'S ALL RIGHT.
ACTUALLY,
IF YOU ALL WOULDN'T MIND
LEAVING THE ROOM FOR A MOMENT,
THERE ARE A COUPLE
OF RATHER PERSONAL QUESTIONS
I'D LIKE TO ASK DARIA.
- OF COURSE.
- DON'T BOTHER.
SHE HASN'T DONE ANYTHING.
- YOU TOO, MRS. MORGENDORFFER.
- OH.
ALL RIGHT.
- LET'S MAKE THIS SHORT.
I DON'T USE DRUGS,
AND I'M NOT SEXUALLY ACTIVE.
- [chuckles] NO, OF COURSE NOT.
- WHAT DO YOU MEAN,
"OF COURSE NOT"?
- I MEAN, IF YOU SAY SO.
- SO THEN,
WHAT'D YOU WANT TO ASK ME?
- NOTHING IN PARTICULAR.
I JUST THOUGHT
YOU COULD USE A BREAK
FROM YOUR PARENTS FOR A WHILE.
YOU PLAY GIN RUMMY?
- SURE.
- ACTUALLY, I DID
WANT TO ASK YOU ONE THING.
- YEAH?
- WHAT IS IT WITH YOUR MOTHER?
- ♪ LA-LA, LA, LA-LA ♪
♪ LA-LA, LA, LA-LA ♪
- WHO ARE YOU?
- I AM ELEANOR SULLIVAN.
THIS IS MY ROOM.
- THERE MUST BE
SOME KIND OF MISTAKE.
THE NURSE'S STATION
IS DOWN THE HALL.
- MM.
- ELEANOR SULLIVAN?
MRS. SULLIVAN?
- YOU MUSTN'T BE FRIGHTENED.
I WAS FRIGHTENED,
ESPECIALLY DURING
THOSE FINAL AGONIES, OH!
BUT THAT WAS BEFORE I KNEW
WHERE I WAS GOING.
COME.
- WHERE ARE WE GOING?
- MY DEAR, DON'T YOU KNOW?
- IS THIS HEAVEN?
- MM, IT HAS MANY NAMES.
- IT'S BEAUTIFUL.
- YES.
- HEY, WHAT'S UP?
YOU WANT TO PARTY?
- EXCUSE ME?
- HEY, BABE, WHY DON'T YOU
TAKE YOUR GLASSES OFF AND RELAX?
- UM, I'M PLENTY RELAXED.
YOU CAN TELL BY MY DEEP,
RHYTHMIC BREATHING.
- OH, MAN, WHAT'D YOU DO,
BRING US ANOTHER BRAIN?
- LOOK, I JUST GO
WHERE THEY TELL ME.
- UM, IS THERE A PROBLEM?
- THIS IS HEAVEN, SWEETHEART.
WHAT WOULD WE WANT WITH A BRAIN?
- I DON'T...
- MM, SORRY.
Boom!
- [screaming]
[gasps]
- BABE, WHAT HAPPENED
TO YOUR HAIR?
- NEVER MIND THAT NOW.
DID YOU KNOW
THAT DARIA HAS BRAIN FEVER?
- BRAIN FEVER?
- YEAH.
DOESN'T THAT SOUND SERIOUS?
- YOU GET THE SCALPEL.
WE CAN USE MY DAD'S BARN
AS AN OPERATING ROOM.
- YOUR DAD DOESN'T HAVE A BARN.
- WE COULD USE YOUR BASEMENT.
- BRITTANY,
I'M SURE IF IT WERE SERIOUS,
DARIA WOULD BE IN THE HOSPITAL.
- UM...
- WHAT?
SHE IS IN THE HOSPITAL?
- EEK!
- SHE'S NOT IN THE HOSPITAL?
- [moans]
I PROMISED I WOULDN'T
SAY ANYTHING ABOUT THE HOSPITAL
BECAUSE I MADE A DEAL
WITH DARIA,
AND SHE KEPT HER PART,
AND I KEPT MY PART,
BUT THEN I MADE ANOTHER DEAL
WITH JANE.
AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW I
WAS MAKING IT UNTIL IT WAS MADE.
AND NOW I DIDN'T KEEP MY PART
BECAUSE I TOLD
ABOUT THE HOSPITAL,
SO NOW JANE'S
GONNA TELL ABOUT THE DEAL.
AND I DIDN'T MEAN ANYTHING
BY IT.
I JUST THOUGHT I'D SEE
WHAT OTHER KIDS DO AT NIGHT
WHO DON'T DO SPORTS.
AND HE DIDN'T MEAN ANYTHING
TO ME, KEVY,
I SWEAR IT!
- SO...
SHE IS IN THE HOSPITAL.
- I'M SORRY ABOUT
ALL THIS BLOOD WORK, DARIA,
BUT SO FAR, ALL SIGNS ARE GOOD.
- OTHER THAN MY HAVING TURNED
INTO MS. TOMATO HEAD, YOU MEAN.
- WELL, YEAH.
- HI.
- HEY.
- JANE, THIS IS DR. PHILLIPS.
- PLEASED TO MEET YOU.
FRIEND, NOT FAMILY, RIGHT?
- HOW CAN YOU TELL?
- DARIA SEEMED HAPPY TO SEE YOU.
I'LL STOP BY LATER.
- OKAY, THANKS.
- OOH, LA, LA.
DOCTOR, I HAVE A PAIN.
- PLEASE.
THE MAN IS A BUTCHER.
LOOK WHAT HE'S DONE TO MY FACE.
- THAT'S PRETTY RED.
UM, WHAT IS IT?
- SO FAR,
THE TESTS ARE ALL NEGATIVE.
SO PROBABLY NOTHING.
LIKE I NEED THIS.
- WHAT?
- A BIG, BRIGHT, MYSTERIOUS RASH
COVERING MY SKIN.
- I KNOW.
AND HERE YOU WERE,
PERFECTLY CAPABLE
OF ALIENATING PEOPLE
ON PERSONALITY ALONE.
- YOU KNOW,
YOU COULD'VE JUST SENT FLOWERS.
- HEY, IT'S NOT SO BAD.
AND IT'LL GO AWAY.
IF NOT THIS YEAR,
THEN DEFINITELY NEXT.
- AT LEAST NO ONE AT SCHOOL
HAS SEEN IT.
THEY PROBABLY
HAVEN'T EVEN NOTICED I'M GONE.
- DARIA?
- BRITTANY?
WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
- UM, I JUST WANTED TO THANK YOU
FOR NOT GOING BACK ON OUR DEAL.
AND I THOUGHT
I MIGHT FIND JANE HERE
AND TELL HER THAT I DID KIND OF
GO BACK ON OUR DEAL,
BUT I ALSO KIND OF WENT BACK
ON YOUR PART OF OUR DEAL,
SO THERE'S NO USE
IN YOU DOING THAT.
- WE HAD A DEAL?
- AND TO SEE HOW YOU WERE.
UM, YOU'RE KIND OF RED.
- YES, BUT I'M PROBABLY OKAY.
- GREAT!
- WHAT WAS OUR DEAL?
- DARIA?
- WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
- OH, WELL, BRITTANY SAID
YOU HAD SOME BRAIN FEVER
OR SOMETHING,
BUT YOU WEREN'T IN THE HOSPITAL.
SO I KEPT ASKING JANE,
AND SHE FINALLY ADMITTED
YOU HAD A RASH
AND YOU WERE IN THE HOSPITAL.
- SO WE JUST FIGURED
WE'D COME DOWN HERE
AND SEE FOR OURSELVES
HOW YOU WERE.
- I'M PROBABLY OKAY.
- SO THAT'S COOL.
- FOR A HUMAN LOBSTER.
- OH, SO YOU'RE A LITTLE RED.
IT COULD HAPPEN TO ANYBODY.
WELL, IT COULD HAPPEN
TO LOTS OF PEOPLE.
- DARIA?
- QUINN?
- HOW ARE YOU?
- I'M ALL...
- IS THAT DR. PHILLIPS
COMING BY TODAY?
I'VE GOT, UM... A TWINGE.
- DARIA?
- KEVIN?
- WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
- I WENT OVER TO MACK'S HOUSE,
AND THE BASEMENT WAS EMPTY.
DARIA, AM I GLAD TO SEE YOU.
- UM, THANKS, KEVIN.
- I WAS AFRAID THEY'D
START THE OPERATION WITHOUT ME.
- IT'S A LONG STORY.
- MAYBE LATER,
WHEN YOU HAVE
YOUR STRENGTH BACK.
- DARIA?
- WHO ARE YOU?
- I'M MRS. SULLIVAN.
DID I LEAVE AN ENEMA BAG HERE?
- DR. PHILLIPS WAS VERY NICE.
HE SAID DARIA'S RASH
WAS PROBABLY
TRIGGERED BY ANXIETY.
HE GAVE US A PRESCRIPTION
IN CASE IT DOESN'T
GO AWAY ON ITS OWN.
- ANXIETY?
WHAT COULD BE
GIVING YOU ANXIETY, SWEETIE?
- UM, LET'S SEE.
EVERY ASPECT OF MY LIFE?
[doorbell rings]
THAT'S JANE.
SEE YOU.
- DARIA?
- YEAH?
- YOUR FATHER AND I
JUST WANT YOU TO KNOW,
WE'RE VERY PROUD OF THE WAY
YOU HANDLED THIS SITUATION.
- THAT'S RIGHT, KIDDO.
- I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING
BUT SIT THERE LIKE A CRASH DUMMY
WHILE THEY TOOK BLOOD.
YOU WERE WORRIED, WEREN'T YOU?
- DARIA, WE'RE YOUR PARENTS.
- YEAH, WELL, UM...
THANKS FOR BEING THERE FOR ME.
- DID SHE JUST SAY...
- JAKE, DON'T SPOIL THE MOMENT.
- HEY, READY TO GO?
- YEAH.
- TRENT'S GONNA GIVE US A RIDE.
- TRENT?
- HEY, DARIA.
- WHAT?
- ♪ LA-LA, LA, LA-LA ♪
♪ LA, LA, LA ♪
♪ LA, LA, LA ♪
♪ LA, LA, LA ♪
♪ LA-LA, LA, LA-LA ♪