Daria (1997–2001): Season 2, Episode 12 - Pierce Me - full transcript
While helping Trent pick out a birthday present for Jane, Daria is talked into getting her belly button pierced.
- ♪ LA-LA, LA, LA-LA ♪
♪ LA-LA, LA, LA-LA ♪
- WE CAN BAKE CUPCAKES
FOR THE WHOLE CLASS
AND PRETEND YOU'RE
REALLY POPULAR FOR THE DAY.
- WILL THERE BE PONY RIDES?
- DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEAS?
- I JUST DON'T FEEL
LIKE CELEBRATING MY BIRTHDAY.
IT'S A TOTALLY ARTIFICIAL
HOLIDAY,
CREATED TO STIMULATE
THE ECONOMY.
- AREN'T BIRTHDAYS
THE ONE HOLIDAY
THE GREETING CARD INDUSTRY
DIDN'T MAKE UP?
- THAT'S WHAT THEY WANT YOU
TO BELIEVE.
- OKAY, OKAY.
NO PARTY AND NO PRESENT.
- WHO SAID NO PRESENT?
- GREAT PIZZA, HONEY.
- AH!
- OH, MY GOSH, DARIA!
HELEN, HEIMLICH!
- RELAX, DAD.
IT'S JUST CHEESE BURN.
- YOU'RE SUCH A PAIN WIMP,
DARIA.
YOU KNOW, DAD, YOU REALLY SHOULD
GET CHEESE-LESS PIZZA ANYWAY.
IT'S MUCH HEALTHIER.
- CHEESE-LESS PIZZA?
WHAT A GREAT IDEA!
HEY, CAN I HAVE THAT?
- WHAT'S THIS?
AND WHO OPENED IT?
- DON'T WORRY.
IT'S NOT GONNA HAPPEN.
- A MOTHER-DAUGHTER FASHION SHOW
AT SCHOOL TO RAISE MONEY?
- AND CONSCIOUSNESS.
- WHAT A GREAT IDEA.
- THE FASHION CLUB HAS ALREADY
SCHEDULED AN EMERGENCY MEETING.
WE'LL PUT A STOP TO IT.
- DON'T WANT A BUNCH
OF SMELLY AMATEURS
STINKING UP YOUR CATWALKS?
- RIGHT, DARIA.
YOU CAN'T JUST MIX
WITH FASHION CIVILIANS
WHEN YOU HAVE AN IMAGE
TO UPHOLD.
- WELL, THAT'S A RELIEF.
I MEAN, WHO WANTS
TO PARADE AROUND
SHOWING OFF
SOME RIDICULOUS OUTFIT?
- WITH YOUR MOTHER.
[phone rings]
OOPS.
- HELLO?
- HELLO?
UM, CAN I PLEASE SPEAK
TO YOUR DAUGHTER?
- UH, JUST A SEC.
QUINN, HONEY, IT'S FOR YOU.
- WHO IS IT, DADDY?
- DIDN'T CATCH HIS NAME.
- I HOPE IT'S NOT ADAM.
I WAS GOING TO CANCEL ON HIM
TO GO OUT WITH SIMON,
BUT THEN TODD CALLED,
SO I'M NOT SURE,
BUT IF IT'S BRYCE, MAYBE
I'LL GO OUT WITH HIM INSTEAD
AND CANCEL ON SIMON ANYWAY,
SINCE HE HASN'T EVEN ASKED YET.
- MARCIA, MARCIA, MARCIA.
- HELLO?
- WHO'S THIS?
- YOU CALLED ME, DUH.
WHO'S THIS?
- I DIDN'T CALL YOU.
- WELL, EXCUSE ME.
I THINK
HE'S SELLING SOMETHING.
TELL HIM OFF, MOM.
- HELLO?
DON'T YOU THINK
IT'S A LITTLE LATE
TO BE SOLICITING PEOPLE?
- UH, SORRY.
I DIDN'T THINK
7:00 WAS LATE,
BUT IS DARIA
IN BED ALREADY?
- DARIA?
WHO ARE YOU?
- UH, THIS IS TRENT,
JANE'S BROTHER.
- DARIA, IT'S TRENT,
JANE'S BROTHER.
- TRENT, JANE'S BROTHER,
FOR ME?
- YES, BUT HE DOES SOUND
A LITTLE CONFUSED.
- UM...
- THIS IS DARIA, RIGHT?
- HOLD ON.
I NEED TO SWITCH PHONES.
I'LL TAKE IT UPSTAIRS, OKAY?
YOU CAN HANG UP NOW.
I GOT IT. HANG UP!
- YOU HAVE THE PHONE, KIDDO!
- OKAY. THANKS.
I'LL HANG UP MYSELF, THEN.
HI, TRENT.
SORRY ABOUT THAT.
TRENT?
TRENT?
TRENT?
- HEY, DARIA.
- UH, HI.
WHAT'S UP?
TRENT, ARE YOU AWAKE?
- I NEED TO ASK YOU SOMETHING.
- ME?
- YEAH, YOU.
- SO...
- SO...
- SO YOU WANTED
TO ASK ME SOMETHING?
- RIGHT, RIGHT.
AND, YEAH,
THAT SOUNDS EXCELLENT.
SEE YOU THEN.
BYE.
[dial tone humming]
- WHO WAS THAT?
- WHAT?
- WHO WERE YOU
JUST SPEAKING TO?
- WHAT'S IT TO YOU?
- YOU'RE ACTING REALLY WEIRD.
THAT'S ALL.
- I'M ACTING WEIRDER
THAN USUAL?
- NONE OF YOUR TRICK QUESTIONS,
YOUNG MAN.
YOU'RE BEHAVING STRANGELY.
- YOU'RE THE STRANGE ONE.
- YOU ARE.
- YOU.
- WHERE ARE YOU GOING?
- WHO ARE YOU, MOM?
- NO.
MOM WOULD NEVER ASK
WHERE YOU'RE GOING.
- EXACTLY.
- REDIAL.
[phone rings]
- HELLO? TRENT?
HELLO? ANYONE THERE?
TRENT, IS THAT YOU?
- DARIA!
- AH!
- DARIA, THE DOWNSTAIRS MEMBERS
OF THE HOUSEHOLD
WOULD LIKE THE CORDLESS PHONE
BACK NOW, PLEASE.
[sighs]
- WHAT IS IT, QUINN?
- NOTHING.
- YOU CAN TELL US, SWEETIE.
WHAT'S GOT YOU BLUE?
- IT'S JUST I'D LOOK SO GOOD
ON A RUNWAY.
- HE GAVE HER HIS KIDNEY.
SHE GAVE HIM HER HEART.
TRANSPLANTS AND ROMANCE
WHEN SICK, SAD WORLD CONTINUES.
- DARIA.
- YES, TRENT?
- WANT TO HEAR THE SONG
I WROTE FOR YOU?
- YOU WROTE ME A SONG?
- YOU'RE MY MUSE, YOU KNOW.
- REALLY?
- IT'S CALLED
SILLY LITTLE SELF-DELUDED GIRL,
WHY WOULD A COOL GUY LIKE ME
EVER WRITE A SONG ABOUT YOU?
[phone rings]
- HELLO?
OH, HI, SANDY.
REALLY?
THAT SOUNDS CUTE.
I GUESS THAT'S CUTE.
YES, DEFINITELY CUTE.
YEAH, THAT WOULD BE CUTE,
BUT I'LL THINK ABOUT IT.
OKAY, BYE.
POOR SANDY.
HER MOM INSISTS ON BEING
IN THE FASHION SHOW.
- SHE WOULD.
SHE'S AWFULLY FULL OF HERSELF,
DON'T YOU THINK?
- WE'RE CUTER THAN THEM.
- CUTER THAN THEY.
- DAMN RIGHT.
- LINDA IS VERY ATTRACTIVE.
- YOU'RE DEFINITELY CUTER
THAN SANDY'S MOM, MOM.
- THIS IS SILLY.
- IF SANDY CAN BE IN IT,
THEN EVERYONE SHOULD BE ALLOWED
TO BE IN IT.
I'M VICE PRESIDENT
OF THE FASHION CLUB.
WE HAVE TO WIN!
- BUT IT'S NOT
A COMPETITIVE EVENT.
[doorbell rings]
- OH, IT WILL BE.
- ♪ EXCUSE ME ♪
♪ EXCUSE ME ♪
- HEY.
- QUINN!
YOUR DATE IS HERE!
- ACTUALLY, I'M...
- GOD, DAD.
ARE YOU KIDDING?
- GEE, I'M SORRY,
YOUNG MAN,
BUT YOU KNOW
HOW GIRLS CAN BE.
JUST GIVE HER
SOME TIME, SON.
GIVE HER SOME TIME.
- IS DARIA HOME?
- DARIA?
WHO ARE YOU?
SO YOU'RE HERE
TO SEE DARIA.
- YEAH.
- DARIA'S A VERY SPECIAL GIRL,
ISN'T SHE?
- UH, SURE.
- HOW OLD ARE YOU, TRENT?
- WHAT?
- ARE YOU IN SCHOOL?
DO YOU HAVE A JOB?
LIFE ISN'T JUST ONE FREE HANDOUT
AFTER ANOTHER, YOU KNOW.
HOW MANY EARRINGS
IN THAT EAR?
- DARIA'S MENTIONED
THAT YOU HAVE SOME SORT OF BAND.
- MYSTIK SPIRAL,
BUT WE'RE THINKING
OF CHANGING THE NAME.
- UM, MOM, DAD,
QUINN'S ON THE PHONE
IN THE KITCHEN
ORDERING A CONVERTIBLE.
- OH, MY GOD!
- I DIDN'T MEAN
TO HANG UP ON YOU BEFORE.
JANEY WALKED IN, AND I COULDN'T
THINK OF WHAT TO SAY.
- OH, THAT'S OKAY.
- DARIA, I...
- YES?
- I WANT YOU TO HELP ME
PICK OUT A BIRTHDAY PRESENT
FOR JANE.
- OH.
- EVERY YEAR, I END UP
GETTING HER ART SUPPLIES.
CAN YOU HELP ME OUT?
- ANYTHING FOR JANE.
- THANKS, DARIA.
I'LL PICK YOU UP
TOMORROW MORNING.
NOT TOO EARLY.
SOMETIME BEFORE LUNCH.
OR AFTER.
- UM, OKAY.
- OR BETTER YET,
WHY DON'T WE LEAVE IT LOOSE?
- DON'T DO IT!
- QUINN, WHAT IS THE MATTER
WITH YOU?
- COFFEE, CAFFEINE:
DARK CIRCLES.
CAPISCE?
FASHION SHOW, MOM.
DON'T HANDICAP YOURSELF.
- QUINN, I NEED MY COFFEE.
- WOMAN LOSES FASHION SHOW
DUE TO PATHETIC ADDICTION.
DAUGHTER SHAMED FOR LIFE.
COME ON, THE SPA'S
ABOUT TO OPEN ANYWAY.
- DARIA, LAST CHANCE
TO JOIN US
FOR A MOTHER-DAUGHTER DAY
OF BEAUTY.
IT'S VERY RELAXING.
- ONCE YOU PASS OUT
FROM THE PAIN.
[car horn honks]
- WHO'S THAT?
I DON'T HAVE A DATE NOW.
- I THINK IT'S FOR ME.
I WASN'T EXPECTING YOU
FOR A COUPLE OF HOURS.
- I CAME STRAIGHT
FROM REHEARSAL.
WE RAN LATE.
OR EARLY.
WHATEVER.
SO WHERE SHOULD WE GO?
- UM, I WAS THINKING...
- NO ART SUPPLIES.
WE DECIDED ALREADY.
DON'T WANT TO GET HER A CD,
AND I CAN'T SET FOOT
IN A BOOKSTORE.
DON'T ASK ME WHY, DARIA.
I JUST DON'T WANT TO TALK
ABOUT IT.
SO WHAT ARE YOUR IDEAS?
- A FUZZY LITTLE BUNNY?
- LET'S JUST GO
TO DEGA STREET.
I'M SURE WE'LL FIND
SOMETHING THERE.
- I WAS THINKING WE COULD BOTH
WEAR CIGARETTE TROUSERS,
AND I'LL WEAR A HALTER TOP,
AND YOU CAN WEAR
MORE OF A NEHRU JACKET THING.
AND REMEMBER, MOM,
CUTE IS NOT A LOOK.
IT'S NOT AN ATTITUDE.
IT'S A WAY OF BEING.
- SHE'S A LITTLE MISS
CHATTERBOX, ISN'T SHE?
- WE'RE IN TRAINING:
SHE'S GONNA BE MY MOTHER,
AND I'M GONNA BE HER DAUGHTER
IN A FASHION SHOW.
ACTUALLY, SHE IS MY MOTHER,
AND I'M HER DAUGHTER
IN REAL LIFE TOO.
MOM?
- WHAT?
[grungy rock music]
♪ ♪
- HEY, DARIA.
WHAT DO YOU THINK?
- UM, WOULDN'T THAT BE
MORE FOR YOU THAN FOR JANE?
- THAT'S A REALLY GOOD POINT.
- I JUST DON'T SEE JANE
IN TIE-DYE.
- YOU'D LOOK GOOD IN THAT.
- UM...
UM, THANKS.
- HEY.
- BODY PIERCING? JANE?
- HAVEN'T YOU ALWAYS WANTED
TO GET PIERCED?
- NO.
IT JUST SEEMS TOO MUCH
LIKE GETTING TORTURED
FOR THE SAKE OF SOME
SUBCULTURE'S NOTION OF BEAUTY.
- NOW THE DRYERS.
WE'LL BLAST HEAT ON YOUR HEADS
FOR 20 MINUTES
OR UNTIL YOU CAN'T TAKE IT
ANYMORE.
- CAN'T YOU JUST WRAP
A WARM TOWEL OVER MY HEAD?
- I'LL LOWER THE TEMPERATURE
IF I SMELL ANYTHING SINGEING.
- HOW ABOUT WE START
ON MEDIUM?
- NOT FOR ME.
FULL BLAST, PLEASE.
- QUINN.
- I HAVE REALLY HIGH
PAIN TOLERANCE
FOR HAIR CARE TREATMENTS.
[bells jingle]
- [British accent]
HEY, TRENT, JUST SO YOU KNOW,
WE'RE HAVING
A TWO-FOR-ONE SPECIAL.
- HEY, THAT'S COOL, AXL.
11 BUCKS EACH.
WHAT DO YOU SAY, DARIA?
- UM...
- TAKE A LOOK
AT OUR PIERCING MENU.
- I DON'T THINK
THAT'S HOW YOU SPELL "UVULA."
- THAT'S NOT "UVULA."
- I'VE BEEN WANTING
TO PUT A HOLE RIGHT HERE.
- YOU CAN NEVER HAVE
TOO MANY HOLES IN YOUR HEAD.
- COME ON, DARIA.
LET'S GET THE SPECIAL.
- I GUESS I COULD PIERCE
MY EARS.
- AH, NO CAN DO.
SPECIAL'S ONE HOLE.
EARS ARE TWO HOLES.
FULL RETAIL PRICE APPLIES.
- THAT'S TOO BORING ANYWAY,
DARIA.
YOU GOT TO DO SOMETHING FUN.
- FUN?
- YOU'D LOOK NICE
WITH A LIP RING.
- ARE YOU GONNA LET HIM
TALK TO ME THAT WAY?
- I KNOW WHAT WOULD BE COOL.
LITTLE SILVER HOOP.
- YEAH. OKAY.
A NAVEL RING WORKS.
IT'S A START, AT LEAST.
- I AM NOT GOING TO PIERCE
MY BELLY BUTTON.
IT NEVER DID ANYTHING TO ME.
- DARIA, IT WOULD LOOK
REALLY HOT.
- HEY, YOU ARE 18,
AREN'T YOU?
I SHOULD'VE ASKED.
- IS IT A PROBLEM
IF I'M NOT?
- YEAH, YOU'LL NEED
PARENTAL PERMISSION.
THIS ESTABLISHMENT IS LICENSED
TO SERVE ADULTS ONLY
AND OPERATES STRICTLY ACCORDING
TO THE LETTER OF THE LAW.
- SHE IS.
- RIGHT.
[bells jingle]
- MY APPRENTICE IS OUT TODAY.
I BETTER GO SEE WHO THAT IS.
- HEY, AXL.
IT'S JUST ME.
- HELLO, DARLING.
- AXL, I NEED SOME MORE
OF THAT ANTISEPTIC STUFF
FOR MY NOSE RING.
OH, TRENT.
- HEY, MONIQUE.
HOW'S IT GOING?
- PRETTY GOOD.
- HOW ARE THE HARPIES?
- I'M THINKING OF LEAVING
FOR REAL THIS TIME,
START MY OWN BAND.
- YOU COULD DO IT,
MONIQUE.
YOU'VE GOT STAGE PRESENCE.
NO KIDDING.
- I LEARNED
FROM THE BEST, MAN.
- AH, STOP IT.
MONIQUE USED TO BE IN A BAND
WITH ME.
OH, HEY, MONIQUE,
THIS IS DARIA,
MY KID SISTER'S FRIEND.
- HEY, DARIA.
- HI.
- DARIA'S, LIKE, THE COOLEST
HIGH SCHOOLER I KNOW.
- THAT'LL BE GOOD ON ME.
THAT'S CUTE FOR ME.
ME, ME, ME, ME, ME.
POSSIBLE MOM.
ME, ME.
[giggles]
- QUINN,
THIS JUST ISN'T WORKING.
- HELEN?
- ERIC.
THIS IS JASMINE, MY NIECE.
I'M BUYING HER
A BIRTHDAY PRESENT.
- HI.
- HELLO, JASMINE.
QUINN, THIS IS ERIC
FROM WORK.
AND, ERIC, JASMINE,
THIS IS QUINN.
SHE'S GOING TO BE MY DAUGHTER,
AND I'M GOING TO BE HER MOTHER
IN A FASHION SHOW.
ACTUALLY,
SHE IS MY DAUGHTER,
AND I WAS JUST TRYING
TO BE A GOOD PARENT.
OH, MY GOD.
WHAT HAVE I DONE?
- I LIKE THAT SKIRT,
UNCLE ERIC.
I MEAN, I'D LIKE IT ON ME.
- HMM.
- HAVE I MENTIONED
THAT I HATE PAIN?
- OH, THIS WON'T HURT.
IT'S NO WORSE
THAN POPPING A PIMPLE.
- AH!
- I HAVEN'T DONE ANYTHING YET.
- I WAS THINKING
ABOUT HOW MUCH IT HURTS
TO POP A PIMPLE.
- I CAN'T CONCENTRATE
IF YOU KEEP SHAKING.
- I'LL HELP YOU THROUGH THIS,
DARIA.
HERE.
- UH, WHAT'S THAT?
- THAT'S MY HAND.
GIVE ME YOURS.
IT'S PRETTY CLEAN, DARIA.
- NO, I, UM...
SORRY.
- THE BEST THING TO DO
IS NOT THINK ABOUT IT.
THEN IT WON'T HURT.
- IT DOESN'T HURT.
- HUH?
- WHAT?
- DARIA?
- TRY NOT TO TAKE OUT THE RING
FOR AT LEAST SIX MONTHS,
OR IT WILL CLOSE UP,
AND WE'LL HAVE
TO PIERCE IT AGAIN.
DON'T GET SCARED WHEN THE MUCUS
STARTS POURING OUT.
PUT SOME
OF THIS ANTISEPTIC STUFF ON
AND TAKE 50 MILLIGRAMS A DAY
OF, UM, SOME METAL OR OTHER...
ZINC, ALUMINUM.
I FORGET.
- YOU DID IT?
I'M PIERCED?
- YUP.
- ♪ LA-LA, LA, LA-LA ♪
♪ LA, LA, LA ♪
♪ THIS IS MY STOP ♪
♪ THIS IS MY STOP ♪
♪ THIS IS MY STOP ♪
[bell rings]
- PSST!
- OH, NO.
THE TOILET
IS TALKING TO ME AGAIN.
- PSST! LANE.
- TALKING TOILET,
YOU MAY CALL ME JANE.
OH, IT'S YOU.
DID I JUST SEE
WHAT I THINK I SAW?
- YOU DIDN'T SEE A WEEPING
VIRGIN OR ANYTHING, DID YOU?
- DO THAT AGAIN.
I CAN'T BELIEVE
YOU HAD THE NERVE.
- NEITHER CAN I.
IT WAS TRENT'S IDEA.
- SO YOU DID GO OUT
WITH TRENT.
- SHOPPING
FOR YOUR BIRTHDAY PRESENT.
OOPS.
HE WANTED
TO SURPRISE YOU.
- AND HE GOT ME A HOLE
IN YOUR NAVEL.
THAT IS A SURPRISE.
- I DON'T KNOW
HOW IT HAPPENED,
BUT THERE WE WERE,
AND THERE HE WAS,
AND THERE WAS
THIS TWO-FOR-ONE SPECIAL.
OH, MY GOD.
WHAT HAVE I DONE?
- OH, DEAR.
OUR LITTLE GIRL'S
BECOMING A WOMAN.
- SHUT UP.
- DON'T YOU GET IT, DARIA?
YOU DID SOMETHING STUPID
FOR A GUY.
GEE, YOU MAY JOIN THE HUMAN RACE
AFTER ALL.
- I DIDN'T DO IT FOR A GUY.
I DID IT SO TRENT
COULD GET THE SPECIAL.
- OH, THAT'S DIFFERENT.
HEY, WHAT DID YOU END UP
GETTING ME?
- I CAN'T SAY.
- I HOPE IT'S ART TOOLS.
I NEED SOME NEW SUPPLIES.
- I DID DO IT FOR A GUY,
DIDN'T I?
- OH, YEAH.
- IT ITCHES LIKE HELL,
AND I'M NOT SHOWING
ANYBODY ELSE.
- JUST KEEP YOUR SHIRT
TUCKED IN.
NO ONE WILL KNOW.
HEY, JODI, CHECK OUT
DARIA'S NAVEL RING.
- REALLY?
THAT'S KIND OF COOL.
- IT IS?
- YEAH.
AS LONG AS YOU DIDN'T JUST DO IT
FOR SOME GUY.
- RIGHT.
THAT WOULD BE BAD.
- YOU DIDN'T REALLY DO THAT.
- DO WHAT?
- THAT!
- OH, THIS OLD THING?
I ONLY WEAR IT WHEN I DON'T CARE
HOW MY NAVEL LOOKS.
- MM, I GET IT.
YOU'RE TRYING TO BRIGHTEN
YOUR HO-HUM LIFE
WITH A LITTLE ILLUSION.
I'VE SEEN THOSE FAKE RINGS,
DARIA.
- SO HAVE I.
THEY DON'T DO THIS.
THEY DON'T ITCH LIKE THIS
EITHER.
- MOM AND DAD ARE GONNA FREAK!
- DO YOU THINK YOU SHOULD BE
UPSETTING MOM OR DAD
ON THE EVE
OF YOUR BIG COMPETITION?
- UH...
- IT'LL JUST BE
OUR LITTLE SECRET, SIS.
- UGH!
- YOU MAY BE FASHION-FORWARD,
BUT YOU ITCH LIKE HELL.
[psychedelic music]
♪ ♪
- WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
SCHOOL'S NOT FOR AN HOUR.
- IT'S GONE.
- WHAT'S GONE?
- I'M NOT PIERCED ANYMORE.
IT CLOSED UP.
- YOU DIDN'T TAKE THE RING OUT.
- JUST FOR THE NIGHT.
I COULDN'T STAND THE ITCHING.
- I'VE HEARD OF FAST HEALERS,
BUT THIS IS RIDICULOUS.
- GEE, MAYBE E.T.
CAME IN MY ROOM
AND TOUCHED MY NAVEL
WHILE I SLEPT.
- BOY, DARIA, YOU HAVE
THE WEIRDEST SEX DREAMS.
- DON'T TELL TRENT.
- ABOUT E.T.?
- ABOUT MY BELLY BUTTON.
- WHAT DOES HE CARE?
- JUST DON'T SAY ANYTHING
WHEN HE WAKES UP, OKAY?
- THAT WON'T HAPPEN FOR HOURS,
MAYBE DAYS.
- HEY, DARIA.
- TRENT?
- LATE REHEARSAL?
- OR EARLY. WHATEVER.
SO YOUR PIERCING CLOSED UP?
- IT WAS AN ACCIDENT.
- YEAH, THAT HAPPENS A LOT.
- AND IT DOESN'T MAKE YOU
A GEEK, RIGHT?
- COURSE NOT.
TELL YOU WHAT.
WHEN YOU'RE READY, WE'LL GO DOWN
AND GET YOU A TATTOO.
THEY LAST FOREVER.
- I LOVE TIFFANY.
I REALLY DO.
- SHE'S SO SMUSHY.
- BUT ISN'T THERE SOMETHING
A LITTLE STRANGE
ABOUT HER MOTHER?
- SHE TOLD THE AGENCY
SHE WANTED THE PRETTIEST MODEL
THEY HAD.
- I GUESS IT'S OKAY.
I MEAN, LOOK AT BRITTANY.
- THERE SHOULD'VE BEEN A RULE
ABOUT STEPMOTHERS.
- QUINN, WE'RE NEXT.
- REMEMBER, MOM, THINK CUTE.
[pulsing dance music]
CONFIDENT, UP, TOTALLY...
AH!
TOTALLY HUMILIATING.
- OW!
- YOU STILL HAVEN'T TOLD ME
WHAT PRESENT TRENT CAME UP WITH.
- BE PATIENT.
ALL WILL BE REVEALED.
[applause]
- HELLO,
WE'RE MYSTIK SPIRAL,
AND I WANT TO SAY HAPPY BIRTHDAY
TO MY SISTER, JANE.
- THIS IS FOR YOU, JANE.
- ♪ LITTLE SISTER,
LITTLE SISTER ♪
♪ YOU CAME INTO MY LIFE
LIKE A TWISTER ♪
♪ WHAT CAN I GET YOU
THAT YOU HAVEN'T TAKEN? ♪
♪ WHAT CAN I GET YOU
THAT HASN'T BEEN KILLED ♪
♪ BY CORRUPTION AND GREED? ♪
♪ WHAT CAN I GET YOU
THAT ISN'T TIE-DYED ♪
♪ OR JUST LIKE
WHAT YOU ALREADY HAVE ♪
♪ OR PLASTIC OR NOT ALIVE
OR SO SAD? ♪
♪ DOES ANYBODY KNOW? ♪
♪ DOES ANYBODY KNOW
WHY WE'RE HERE? ♪
♪ DOES ANYBODY KNOW? ♪
♪ DOES ANYBODY KNOW
WHY WE'RE HERE? ♪
♪ DOES ANYBODY KNOW? ♪
♪ DOES ANYBODY KNOW
WHY WE'RE HERE? ♪
[applause]
- YEAH!
- BY THE WAY, THANKS
FOR THE COOL ART SUPPLIES.
- SOMEBODY HAD TO DO IT.
- ALL THAT WORK.
ALL THAT PREPARATION.
WHY?
WHY ME?
- HONEY, IT WAS JUST
A LITTLE SCHOOL FUND-RAISER.
YOU'LL HAVE OTHER MOMENTS
IN THE SUN.
- BUT NONE WITH YOU, MOM.
- OH, THAT'S SO SWEET.
- NOPE, NONE WITH YOU.
NO FREAKING WAY.
- QUINN, ISN'T THERE ANYTHING
THAT WOULD MAKE YOU FEEL BETTER?
- YES.
YES, THERE IS.
- WE WANT TO SEE
YOUR BELLY BUTTON, YOUNG LADY,
AND WE WANT TO SEE IT NOW.
- WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
- OUT WITH IT.
- DO YOU HAVE A PROBLEM
WITH INNIES?
- QUINN, WHAT'S THE MATTER
WITH YOU?
- YOUR SISTER'S NOT PIERCED.
WHY WOULD YOU SCARE US
LIKE THAT?
- BUT...
BUT IT WAS THERE YESTERDAY.
- TRYING TO BRIGHTEN
YOUR HO-HUM LIFE
WITH A LITTLE ILLUSION?
[yawns]
BOY, I'M TIRED.
NIGHT, EVERYBODY.
- SHE WAS PIERCED!
PIERCED, I TELL YOU!
OH, THE HUMANITY.
- ♪ LA-LA, LA, LA-LA ♪
[upbeat rock music]
♪ ♪
♪ LA, LA, LA ♪
♪ ♪
♪ LA, LA, LA ♪
♪ ♪
♪ LA, LA, LA ♪
♪ ♪
♪ LA-LA, LA, LA-LA ♪
♪ ♪
♪ LA-LA, LA, LA-LA ♪
♪ LA-LA, LA, LA-LA ♪
- WE CAN BAKE CUPCAKES
FOR THE WHOLE CLASS
AND PRETEND YOU'RE
REALLY POPULAR FOR THE DAY.
- WILL THERE BE PONY RIDES?
- DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEAS?
- I JUST DON'T FEEL
LIKE CELEBRATING MY BIRTHDAY.
IT'S A TOTALLY ARTIFICIAL
HOLIDAY,
CREATED TO STIMULATE
THE ECONOMY.
- AREN'T BIRTHDAYS
THE ONE HOLIDAY
THE GREETING CARD INDUSTRY
DIDN'T MAKE UP?
- THAT'S WHAT THEY WANT YOU
TO BELIEVE.
- OKAY, OKAY.
NO PARTY AND NO PRESENT.
- WHO SAID NO PRESENT?
- GREAT PIZZA, HONEY.
- AH!
- OH, MY GOSH, DARIA!
HELEN, HEIMLICH!
- RELAX, DAD.
IT'S JUST CHEESE BURN.
- YOU'RE SUCH A PAIN WIMP,
DARIA.
YOU KNOW, DAD, YOU REALLY SHOULD
GET CHEESE-LESS PIZZA ANYWAY.
IT'S MUCH HEALTHIER.
- CHEESE-LESS PIZZA?
WHAT A GREAT IDEA!
HEY, CAN I HAVE THAT?
- WHAT'S THIS?
AND WHO OPENED IT?
- DON'T WORRY.
IT'S NOT GONNA HAPPEN.
- A MOTHER-DAUGHTER FASHION SHOW
AT SCHOOL TO RAISE MONEY?
- AND CONSCIOUSNESS.
- WHAT A GREAT IDEA.
- THE FASHION CLUB HAS ALREADY
SCHEDULED AN EMERGENCY MEETING.
WE'LL PUT A STOP TO IT.
- DON'T WANT A BUNCH
OF SMELLY AMATEURS
STINKING UP YOUR CATWALKS?
- RIGHT, DARIA.
YOU CAN'T JUST MIX
WITH FASHION CIVILIANS
WHEN YOU HAVE AN IMAGE
TO UPHOLD.
- WELL, THAT'S A RELIEF.
I MEAN, WHO WANTS
TO PARADE AROUND
SHOWING OFF
SOME RIDICULOUS OUTFIT?
- WITH YOUR MOTHER.
[phone rings]
OOPS.
- HELLO?
- HELLO?
UM, CAN I PLEASE SPEAK
TO YOUR DAUGHTER?
- UH, JUST A SEC.
QUINN, HONEY, IT'S FOR YOU.
- WHO IS IT, DADDY?
- DIDN'T CATCH HIS NAME.
- I HOPE IT'S NOT ADAM.
I WAS GOING TO CANCEL ON HIM
TO GO OUT WITH SIMON,
BUT THEN TODD CALLED,
SO I'M NOT SURE,
BUT IF IT'S BRYCE, MAYBE
I'LL GO OUT WITH HIM INSTEAD
AND CANCEL ON SIMON ANYWAY,
SINCE HE HASN'T EVEN ASKED YET.
- MARCIA, MARCIA, MARCIA.
- HELLO?
- WHO'S THIS?
- YOU CALLED ME, DUH.
WHO'S THIS?
- I DIDN'T CALL YOU.
- WELL, EXCUSE ME.
I THINK
HE'S SELLING SOMETHING.
TELL HIM OFF, MOM.
- HELLO?
DON'T YOU THINK
IT'S A LITTLE LATE
TO BE SOLICITING PEOPLE?
- UH, SORRY.
I DIDN'T THINK
7:00 WAS LATE,
BUT IS DARIA
IN BED ALREADY?
- DARIA?
WHO ARE YOU?
- UH, THIS IS TRENT,
JANE'S BROTHER.
- DARIA, IT'S TRENT,
JANE'S BROTHER.
- TRENT, JANE'S BROTHER,
FOR ME?
- YES, BUT HE DOES SOUND
A LITTLE CONFUSED.
- UM...
- THIS IS DARIA, RIGHT?
- HOLD ON.
I NEED TO SWITCH PHONES.
I'LL TAKE IT UPSTAIRS, OKAY?
YOU CAN HANG UP NOW.
I GOT IT. HANG UP!
- YOU HAVE THE PHONE, KIDDO!
- OKAY. THANKS.
I'LL HANG UP MYSELF, THEN.
HI, TRENT.
SORRY ABOUT THAT.
TRENT?
TRENT?
TRENT?
- HEY, DARIA.
- UH, HI.
WHAT'S UP?
TRENT, ARE YOU AWAKE?
- I NEED TO ASK YOU SOMETHING.
- ME?
- YEAH, YOU.
- SO...
- SO...
- SO YOU WANTED
TO ASK ME SOMETHING?
- RIGHT, RIGHT.
AND, YEAH,
THAT SOUNDS EXCELLENT.
SEE YOU THEN.
BYE.
[dial tone humming]
- WHO WAS THAT?
- WHAT?
- WHO WERE YOU
JUST SPEAKING TO?
- WHAT'S IT TO YOU?
- YOU'RE ACTING REALLY WEIRD.
THAT'S ALL.
- I'M ACTING WEIRDER
THAN USUAL?
- NONE OF YOUR TRICK QUESTIONS,
YOUNG MAN.
YOU'RE BEHAVING STRANGELY.
- YOU'RE THE STRANGE ONE.
- YOU ARE.
- YOU.
- WHERE ARE YOU GOING?
- WHO ARE YOU, MOM?
- NO.
MOM WOULD NEVER ASK
WHERE YOU'RE GOING.
- EXACTLY.
- REDIAL.
[phone rings]
- HELLO? TRENT?
HELLO? ANYONE THERE?
TRENT, IS THAT YOU?
- DARIA!
- AH!
- DARIA, THE DOWNSTAIRS MEMBERS
OF THE HOUSEHOLD
WOULD LIKE THE CORDLESS PHONE
BACK NOW, PLEASE.
[sighs]
- WHAT IS IT, QUINN?
- NOTHING.
- YOU CAN TELL US, SWEETIE.
WHAT'S GOT YOU BLUE?
- IT'S JUST I'D LOOK SO GOOD
ON A RUNWAY.
- HE GAVE HER HIS KIDNEY.
SHE GAVE HIM HER HEART.
TRANSPLANTS AND ROMANCE
WHEN SICK, SAD WORLD CONTINUES.
- DARIA.
- YES, TRENT?
- WANT TO HEAR THE SONG
I WROTE FOR YOU?
- YOU WROTE ME A SONG?
- YOU'RE MY MUSE, YOU KNOW.
- REALLY?
- IT'S CALLED
SILLY LITTLE SELF-DELUDED GIRL,
WHY WOULD A COOL GUY LIKE ME
EVER WRITE A SONG ABOUT YOU?
[phone rings]
- HELLO?
OH, HI, SANDY.
REALLY?
THAT SOUNDS CUTE.
I GUESS THAT'S CUTE.
YES, DEFINITELY CUTE.
YEAH, THAT WOULD BE CUTE,
BUT I'LL THINK ABOUT IT.
OKAY, BYE.
POOR SANDY.
HER MOM INSISTS ON BEING
IN THE FASHION SHOW.
- SHE WOULD.
SHE'S AWFULLY FULL OF HERSELF,
DON'T YOU THINK?
- WE'RE CUTER THAN THEM.
- CUTER THAN THEY.
- DAMN RIGHT.
- LINDA IS VERY ATTRACTIVE.
- YOU'RE DEFINITELY CUTER
THAN SANDY'S MOM, MOM.
- THIS IS SILLY.
- IF SANDY CAN BE IN IT,
THEN EVERYONE SHOULD BE ALLOWED
TO BE IN IT.
I'M VICE PRESIDENT
OF THE FASHION CLUB.
WE HAVE TO WIN!
- BUT IT'S NOT
A COMPETITIVE EVENT.
[doorbell rings]
- OH, IT WILL BE.
- ♪ EXCUSE ME ♪
♪ EXCUSE ME ♪
- HEY.
- QUINN!
YOUR DATE IS HERE!
- ACTUALLY, I'M...
- GOD, DAD.
ARE YOU KIDDING?
- GEE, I'M SORRY,
YOUNG MAN,
BUT YOU KNOW
HOW GIRLS CAN BE.
JUST GIVE HER
SOME TIME, SON.
GIVE HER SOME TIME.
- IS DARIA HOME?
- DARIA?
WHO ARE YOU?
SO YOU'RE HERE
TO SEE DARIA.
- YEAH.
- DARIA'S A VERY SPECIAL GIRL,
ISN'T SHE?
- UH, SURE.
- HOW OLD ARE YOU, TRENT?
- WHAT?
- ARE YOU IN SCHOOL?
DO YOU HAVE A JOB?
LIFE ISN'T JUST ONE FREE HANDOUT
AFTER ANOTHER, YOU KNOW.
HOW MANY EARRINGS
IN THAT EAR?
- DARIA'S MENTIONED
THAT YOU HAVE SOME SORT OF BAND.
- MYSTIK SPIRAL,
BUT WE'RE THINKING
OF CHANGING THE NAME.
- UM, MOM, DAD,
QUINN'S ON THE PHONE
IN THE KITCHEN
ORDERING A CONVERTIBLE.
- OH, MY GOD!
- I DIDN'T MEAN
TO HANG UP ON YOU BEFORE.
JANEY WALKED IN, AND I COULDN'T
THINK OF WHAT TO SAY.
- OH, THAT'S OKAY.
- DARIA, I...
- YES?
- I WANT YOU TO HELP ME
PICK OUT A BIRTHDAY PRESENT
FOR JANE.
- OH.
- EVERY YEAR, I END UP
GETTING HER ART SUPPLIES.
CAN YOU HELP ME OUT?
- ANYTHING FOR JANE.
- THANKS, DARIA.
I'LL PICK YOU UP
TOMORROW MORNING.
NOT TOO EARLY.
SOMETIME BEFORE LUNCH.
OR AFTER.
- UM, OKAY.
- OR BETTER YET,
WHY DON'T WE LEAVE IT LOOSE?
- DON'T DO IT!
- QUINN, WHAT IS THE MATTER
WITH YOU?
- COFFEE, CAFFEINE:
DARK CIRCLES.
CAPISCE?
FASHION SHOW, MOM.
DON'T HANDICAP YOURSELF.
- QUINN, I NEED MY COFFEE.
- WOMAN LOSES FASHION SHOW
DUE TO PATHETIC ADDICTION.
DAUGHTER SHAMED FOR LIFE.
COME ON, THE SPA'S
ABOUT TO OPEN ANYWAY.
- DARIA, LAST CHANCE
TO JOIN US
FOR A MOTHER-DAUGHTER DAY
OF BEAUTY.
IT'S VERY RELAXING.
- ONCE YOU PASS OUT
FROM THE PAIN.
[car horn honks]
- WHO'S THAT?
I DON'T HAVE A DATE NOW.
- I THINK IT'S FOR ME.
I WASN'T EXPECTING YOU
FOR A COUPLE OF HOURS.
- I CAME STRAIGHT
FROM REHEARSAL.
WE RAN LATE.
OR EARLY.
WHATEVER.
SO WHERE SHOULD WE GO?
- UM, I WAS THINKING...
- NO ART SUPPLIES.
WE DECIDED ALREADY.
DON'T WANT TO GET HER A CD,
AND I CAN'T SET FOOT
IN A BOOKSTORE.
DON'T ASK ME WHY, DARIA.
I JUST DON'T WANT TO TALK
ABOUT IT.
SO WHAT ARE YOUR IDEAS?
- A FUZZY LITTLE BUNNY?
- LET'S JUST GO
TO DEGA STREET.
I'M SURE WE'LL FIND
SOMETHING THERE.
- I WAS THINKING WE COULD BOTH
WEAR CIGARETTE TROUSERS,
AND I'LL WEAR A HALTER TOP,
AND YOU CAN WEAR
MORE OF A NEHRU JACKET THING.
AND REMEMBER, MOM,
CUTE IS NOT A LOOK.
IT'S NOT AN ATTITUDE.
IT'S A WAY OF BEING.
- SHE'S A LITTLE MISS
CHATTERBOX, ISN'T SHE?
- WE'RE IN TRAINING:
SHE'S GONNA BE MY MOTHER,
AND I'M GONNA BE HER DAUGHTER
IN A FASHION SHOW.
ACTUALLY, SHE IS MY MOTHER,
AND I'M HER DAUGHTER
IN REAL LIFE TOO.
MOM?
- WHAT?
[grungy rock music]
♪ ♪
- HEY, DARIA.
WHAT DO YOU THINK?
- UM, WOULDN'T THAT BE
MORE FOR YOU THAN FOR JANE?
- THAT'S A REALLY GOOD POINT.
- I JUST DON'T SEE JANE
IN TIE-DYE.
- YOU'D LOOK GOOD IN THAT.
- UM...
UM, THANKS.
- HEY.
- BODY PIERCING? JANE?
- HAVEN'T YOU ALWAYS WANTED
TO GET PIERCED?
- NO.
IT JUST SEEMS TOO MUCH
LIKE GETTING TORTURED
FOR THE SAKE OF SOME
SUBCULTURE'S NOTION OF BEAUTY.
- NOW THE DRYERS.
WE'LL BLAST HEAT ON YOUR HEADS
FOR 20 MINUTES
OR UNTIL YOU CAN'T TAKE IT
ANYMORE.
- CAN'T YOU JUST WRAP
A WARM TOWEL OVER MY HEAD?
- I'LL LOWER THE TEMPERATURE
IF I SMELL ANYTHING SINGEING.
- HOW ABOUT WE START
ON MEDIUM?
- NOT FOR ME.
FULL BLAST, PLEASE.
- QUINN.
- I HAVE REALLY HIGH
PAIN TOLERANCE
FOR HAIR CARE TREATMENTS.
[bells jingle]
- [British accent]
HEY, TRENT, JUST SO YOU KNOW,
WE'RE HAVING
A TWO-FOR-ONE SPECIAL.
- HEY, THAT'S COOL, AXL.
11 BUCKS EACH.
WHAT DO YOU SAY, DARIA?
- UM...
- TAKE A LOOK
AT OUR PIERCING MENU.
- I DON'T THINK
THAT'S HOW YOU SPELL "UVULA."
- THAT'S NOT "UVULA."
- I'VE BEEN WANTING
TO PUT A HOLE RIGHT HERE.
- YOU CAN NEVER HAVE
TOO MANY HOLES IN YOUR HEAD.
- COME ON, DARIA.
LET'S GET THE SPECIAL.
- I GUESS I COULD PIERCE
MY EARS.
- AH, NO CAN DO.
SPECIAL'S ONE HOLE.
EARS ARE TWO HOLES.
FULL RETAIL PRICE APPLIES.
- THAT'S TOO BORING ANYWAY,
DARIA.
YOU GOT TO DO SOMETHING FUN.
- FUN?
- YOU'D LOOK NICE
WITH A LIP RING.
- ARE YOU GONNA LET HIM
TALK TO ME THAT WAY?
- I KNOW WHAT WOULD BE COOL.
LITTLE SILVER HOOP.
- YEAH. OKAY.
A NAVEL RING WORKS.
IT'S A START, AT LEAST.
- I AM NOT GOING TO PIERCE
MY BELLY BUTTON.
IT NEVER DID ANYTHING TO ME.
- DARIA, IT WOULD LOOK
REALLY HOT.
- HEY, YOU ARE 18,
AREN'T YOU?
I SHOULD'VE ASKED.
- IS IT A PROBLEM
IF I'M NOT?
- YEAH, YOU'LL NEED
PARENTAL PERMISSION.
THIS ESTABLISHMENT IS LICENSED
TO SERVE ADULTS ONLY
AND OPERATES STRICTLY ACCORDING
TO THE LETTER OF THE LAW.
- SHE IS.
- RIGHT.
[bells jingle]
- MY APPRENTICE IS OUT TODAY.
I BETTER GO SEE WHO THAT IS.
- HEY, AXL.
IT'S JUST ME.
- HELLO, DARLING.
- AXL, I NEED SOME MORE
OF THAT ANTISEPTIC STUFF
FOR MY NOSE RING.
OH, TRENT.
- HEY, MONIQUE.
HOW'S IT GOING?
- PRETTY GOOD.
- HOW ARE THE HARPIES?
- I'M THINKING OF LEAVING
FOR REAL THIS TIME,
START MY OWN BAND.
- YOU COULD DO IT,
MONIQUE.
YOU'VE GOT STAGE PRESENCE.
NO KIDDING.
- I LEARNED
FROM THE BEST, MAN.
- AH, STOP IT.
MONIQUE USED TO BE IN A BAND
WITH ME.
OH, HEY, MONIQUE,
THIS IS DARIA,
MY KID SISTER'S FRIEND.
- HEY, DARIA.
- HI.
- DARIA'S, LIKE, THE COOLEST
HIGH SCHOOLER I KNOW.
- THAT'LL BE GOOD ON ME.
THAT'S CUTE FOR ME.
ME, ME, ME, ME, ME.
POSSIBLE MOM.
ME, ME.
[giggles]
- QUINN,
THIS JUST ISN'T WORKING.
- HELEN?
- ERIC.
THIS IS JASMINE, MY NIECE.
I'M BUYING HER
A BIRTHDAY PRESENT.
- HI.
- HELLO, JASMINE.
QUINN, THIS IS ERIC
FROM WORK.
AND, ERIC, JASMINE,
THIS IS QUINN.
SHE'S GOING TO BE MY DAUGHTER,
AND I'M GOING TO BE HER MOTHER
IN A FASHION SHOW.
ACTUALLY,
SHE IS MY DAUGHTER,
AND I WAS JUST TRYING
TO BE A GOOD PARENT.
OH, MY GOD.
WHAT HAVE I DONE?
- I LIKE THAT SKIRT,
UNCLE ERIC.
I MEAN, I'D LIKE IT ON ME.
- HMM.
- HAVE I MENTIONED
THAT I HATE PAIN?
- OH, THIS WON'T HURT.
IT'S NO WORSE
THAN POPPING A PIMPLE.
- AH!
- I HAVEN'T DONE ANYTHING YET.
- I WAS THINKING
ABOUT HOW MUCH IT HURTS
TO POP A PIMPLE.
- I CAN'T CONCENTRATE
IF YOU KEEP SHAKING.
- I'LL HELP YOU THROUGH THIS,
DARIA.
HERE.
- UH, WHAT'S THAT?
- THAT'S MY HAND.
GIVE ME YOURS.
IT'S PRETTY CLEAN, DARIA.
- NO, I, UM...
SORRY.
- THE BEST THING TO DO
IS NOT THINK ABOUT IT.
THEN IT WON'T HURT.
- IT DOESN'T HURT.
- HUH?
- WHAT?
- DARIA?
- TRY NOT TO TAKE OUT THE RING
FOR AT LEAST SIX MONTHS,
OR IT WILL CLOSE UP,
AND WE'LL HAVE
TO PIERCE IT AGAIN.
DON'T GET SCARED WHEN THE MUCUS
STARTS POURING OUT.
PUT SOME
OF THIS ANTISEPTIC STUFF ON
AND TAKE 50 MILLIGRAMS A DAY
OF, UM, SOME METAL OR OTHER...
ZINC, ALUMINUM.
I FORGET.
- YOU DID IT?
I'M PIERCED?
- YUP.
- ♪ LA-LA, LA, LA-LA ♪
♪ LA, LA, LA ♪
♪ THIS IS MY STOP ♪
♪ THIS IS MY STOP ♪
♪ THIS IS MY STOP ♪
[bell rings]
- PSST!
- OH, NO.
THE TOILET
IS TALKING TO ME AGAIN.
- PSST! LANE.
- TALKING TOILET,
YOU MAY CALL ME JANE.
OH, IT'S YOU.
DID I JUST SEE
WHAT I THINK I SAW?
- YOU DIDN'T SEE A WEEPING
VIRGIN OR ANYTHING, DID YOU?
- DO THAT AGAIN.
I CAN'T BELIEVE
YOU HAD THE NERVE.
- NEITHER CAN I.
IT WAS TRENT'S IDEA.
- SO YOU DID GO OUT
WITH TRENT.
- SHOPPING
FOR YOUR BIRTHDAY PRESENT.
OOPS.
HE WANTED
TO SURPRISE YOU.
- AND HE GOT ME A HOLE
IN YOUR NAVEL.
THAT IS A SURPRISE.
- I DON'T KNOW
HOW IT HAPPENED,
BUT THERE WE WERE,
AND THERE HE WAS,
AND THERE WAS
THIS TWO-FOR-ONE SPECIAL.
OH, MY GOD.
WHAT HAVE I DONE?
- OH, DEAR.
OUR LITTLE GIRL'S
BECOMING A WOMAN.
- SHUT UP.
- DON'T YOU GET IT, DARIA?
YOU DID SOMETHING STUPID
FOR A GUY.
GEE, YOU MAY JOIN THE HUMAN RACE
AFTER ALL.
- I DIDN'T DO IT FOR A GUY.
I DID IT SO TRENT
COULD GET THE SPECIAL.
- OH, THAT'S DIFFERENT.
HEY, WHAT DID YOU END UP
GETTING ME?
- I CAN'T SAY.
- I HOPE IT'S ART TOOLS.
I NEED SOME NEW SUPPLIES.
- I DID DO IT FOR A GUY,
DIDN'T I?
- OH, YEAH.
- IT ITCHES LIKE HELL,
AND I'M NOT SHOWING
ANYBODY ELSE.
- JUST KEEP YOUR SHIRT
TUCKED IN.
NO ONE WILL KNOW.
HEY, JODI, CHECK OUT
DARIA'S NAVEL RING.
- REALLY?
THAT'S KIND OF COOL.
- IT IS?
- YEAH.
AS LONG AS YOU DIDN'T JUST DO IT
FOR SOME GUY.
- RIGHT.
THAT WOULD BE BAD.
- YOU DIDN'T REALLY DO THAT.
- DO WHAT?
- THAT!
- OH, THIS OLD THING?
I ONLY WEAR IT WHEN I DON'T CARE
HOW MY NAVEL LOOKS.
- MM, I GET IT.
YOU'RE TRYING TO BRIGHTEN
YOUR HO-HUM LIFE
WITH A LITTLE ILLUSION.
I'VE SEEN THOSE FAKE RINGS,
DARIA.
- SO HAVE I.
THEY DON'T DO THIS.
THEY DON'T ITCH LIKE THIS
EITHER.
- MOM AND DAD ARE GONNA FREAK!
- DO YOU THINK YOU SHOULD BE
UPSETTING MOM OR DAD
ON THE EVE
OF YOUR BIG COMPETITION?
- UH...
- IT'LL JUST BE
OUR LITTLE SECRET, SIS.
- UGH!
- YOU MAY BE FASHION-FORWARD,
BUT YOU ITCH LIKE HELL.
[psychedelic music]
♪ ♪
- WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
SCHOOL'S NOT FOR AN HOUR.
- IT'S GONE.
- WHAT'S GONE?
- I'M NOT PIERCED ANYMORE.
IT CLOSED UP.
- YOU DIDN'T TAKE THE RING OUT.
- JUST FOR THE NIGHT.
I COULDN'T STAND THE ITCHING.
- I'VE HEARD OF FAST HEALERS,
BUT THIS IS RIDICULOUS.
- GEE, MAYBE E.T.
CAME IN MY ROOM
AND TOUCHED MY NAVEL
WHILE I SLEPT.
- BOY, DARIA, YOU HAVE
THE WEIRDEST SEX DREAMS.
- DON'T TELL TRENT.
- ABOUT E.T.?
- ABOUT MY BELLY BUTTON.
- WHAT DOES HE CARE?
- JUST DON'T SAY ANYTHING
WHEN HE WAKES UP, OKAY?
- THAT WON'T HAPPEN FOR HOURS,
MAYBE DAYS.
- HEY, DARIA.
- TRENT?
- LATE REHEARSAL?
- OR EARLY. WHATEVER.
SO YOUR PIERCING CLOSED UP?
- IT WAS AN ACCIDENT.
- YEAH, THAT HAPPENS A LOT.
- AND IT DOESN'T MAKE YOU
A GEEK, RIGHT?
- COURSE NOT.
TELL YOU WHAT.
WHEN YOU'RE READY, WE'LL GO DOWN
AND GET YOU A TATTOO.
THEY LAST FOREVER.
- I LOVE TIFFANY.
I REALLY DO.
- SHE'S SO SMUSHY.
- BUT ISN'T THERE SOMETHING
A LITTLE STRANGE
ABOUT HER MOTHER?
- SHE TOLD THE AGENCY
SHE WANTED THE PRETTIEST MODEL
THEY HAD.
- I GUESS IT'S OKAY.
I MEAN, LOOK AT BRITTANY.
- THERE SHOULD'VE BEEN A RULE
ABOUT STEPMOTHERS.
- QUINN, WE'RE NEXT.
- REMEMBER, MOM, THINK CUTE.
[pulsing dance music]
CONFIDENT, UP, TOTALLY...
AH!
TOTALLY HUMILIATING.
- OW!
- YOU STILL HAVEN'T TOLD ME
WHAT PRESENT TRENT CAME UP WITH.
- BE PATIENT.
ALL WILL BE REVEALED.
[applause]
- HELLO,
WE'RE MYSTIK SPIRAL,
AND I WANT TO SAY HAPPY BIRTHDAY
TO MY SISTER, JANE.
- THIS IS FOR YOU, JANE.
- ♪ LITTLE SISTER,
LITTLE SISTER ♪
♪ YOU CAME INTO MY LIFE
LIKE A TWISTER ♪
♪ WHAT CAN I GET YOU
THAT YOU HAVEN'T TAKEN? ♪
♪ WHAT CAN I GET YOU
THAT HASN'T BEEN KILLED ♪
♪ BY CORRUPTION AND GREED? ♪
♪ WHAT CAN I GET YOU
THAT ISN'T TIE-DYED ♪
♪ OR JUST LIKE
WHAT YOU ALREADY HAVE ♪
♪ OR PLASTIC OR NOT ALIVE
OR SO SAD? ♪
♪ DOES ANYBODY KNOW? ♪
♪ DOES ANYBODY KNOW
WHY WE'RE HERE? ♪
♪ DOES ANYBODY KNOW? ♪
♪ DOES ANYBODY KNOW
WHY WE'RE HERE? ♪
♪ DOES ANYBODY KNOW? ♪
♪ DOES ANYBODY KNOW
WHY WE'RE HERE? ♪
[applause]
- YEAH!
- BY THE WAY, THANKS
FOR THE COOL ART SUPPLIES.
- SOMEBODY HAD TO DO IT.
- ALL THAT WORK.
ALL THAT PREPARATION.
WHY?
WHY ME?
- HONEY, IT WAS JUST
A LITTLE SCHOOL FUND-RAISER.
YOU'LL HAVE OTHER MOMENTS
IN THE SUN.
- BUT NONE WITH YOU, MOM.
- OH, THAT'S SO SWEET.
- NOPE, NONE WITH YOU.
NO FREAKING WAY.
- QUINN, ISN'T THERE ANYTHING
THAT WOULD MAKE YOU FEEL BETTER?
- YES.
YES, THERE IS.
- WE WANT TO SEE
YOUR BELLY BUTTON, YOUNG LADY,
AND WE WANT TO SEE IT NOW.
- WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
- OUT WITH IT.
- DO YOU HAVE A PROBLEM
WITH INNIES?
- QUINN, WHAT'S THE MATTER
WITH YOU?
- YOUR SISTER'S NOT PIERCED.
WHY WOULD YOU SCARE US
LIKE THAT?
- BUT...
BUT IT WAS THERE YESTERDAY.
- TRYING TO BRIGHTEN
YOUR HO-HUM LIFE
WITH A LITTLE ILLUSION?
[yawns]
BOY, I'M TIRED.
NIGHT, EVERYBODY.
- SHE WAS PIERCED!
PIERCED, I TELL YOU!
OH, THE HUMANITY.
- ♪ LA-LA, LA, LA-LA ♪
[upbeat rock music]
♪ ♪
♪ LA, LA, LA ♪
♪ ♪
♪ LA, LA, LA ♪
♪ ♪
♪ LA, LA, LA ♪
♪ ♪
♪ LA-LA, LA, LA-LA ♪
♪ ♪
♪ LA-LA, LA, LA-LA ♪