Daria (1997–2001): Season 2, Episode 11 - See Jane Run - full transcript
Whenever Jane isn't painting or creating other works of art, she like to run. So in order to spite the wrath of a tyrannical P.E. teacher, meet a cute boy, and keep herself and Daria from getting a failing grade in gym, she goes out for Lawndale High's Track & Field team and becomes an instant jock, much to the dismay of Daria, the quintessential anti-jock.
- ♪ LA-LA, LA, LA-LA ♪
♪ LA-LA, LA, LA-LA ♪
- OKAY, LADIES, LISTEN UP.
SINCE IT'S
FOCUS ON AGILITY MONTH,
FOR THE REST OF THE CLASS,
I WANT YOU ALL TO WORK
ON YOUR CARTWHEELS,
SPLITS, AND AERIALS.
BRITTANY,
THAT'S A PERFECT SPLIT.
- THANKS, MISS MORRIS.
WHOA-OO-OA!
- FUNNY HOW ALL THE DRILLS
FOR FOCUS ON AGILITY MONTH
ARE THE SAME ONES YOU'D DO
IF YOU WERE TRYING
TO SNEAK A CHEERLEADER PRACTICE
INTO REGULAR GYM CLASS.
- YES, AND I DON'T INTEND
TO STAND FOR IT.
THEY CAN HAVE MY SQUAT THRUSTS
WHEN THEY PRY THEM
FROM MY COLD, DEAD HANDS.
- WHAT?
- I DON'T KNOW.
- SEE SOMETHING YOU LIKE,
OR JUST BROWSING?
- I'M THINKING ABOUT GETTING
THOSE RUNNING SHOES.
- UH-HUH.
WHAT COLOR WERE THEY?
- JUST KICK THE BLEACHERS
OUT FROM UNDERNEATH ME, OKAY?
- UH-OH, BUSTED.
- LADIES,
WHY AREN'T YOU EXERCISING
WITH THE REST OF THE CLASS?
- WE ARE EXERCISING.
- WE'RE EXERCISING
OUR RIGHT
TO ABSTAIN
FROM CHEERLEADER PRACTICE.
- THAT'S NOT CHEERLEADING.
IT'S AGILITY.
JANE LANE, YOU'RE JUST LIKE
YOUR SISTERS, AREN'T YOU?
- WE SHARE
CERTAIN CHROMOSOME PAIRS.
BEYOND THAT,
I'M NOT SUPPOSED TO SAY.
CAN'T BE PART OF A GROUP,
ALWAYS HAVE TO BE DIFFERENT.
YOUR SISTER PENNY NEVER WANTED
TO PARTICIPATE EITHER.
I TAUGHT HER A THING OR TWO
ABOUT THE AMERICAN
COMPETITIVE SPIRIT.
- YOU SURE DID.
THAT'S WHY SHE'S SPENT THE LAST
TEN YEARS OUT OF THE COUNTRY.
- I KNOW WHAT KIND
OF UPBRINGING SHE'S HAD.
WHAT'S YOUR EXCUSE?
- I'M JUST PLAIN NO GOOD.
- LIFE'S JUST ONE BIG
SMART-ASS JOKE, ISN'T IT?
WELL, I'M HERE TO PREPARE YOU
FOR THE REAL WORLD.
I'LL SEE YOU BOTH AFTER SCHOOL
TO MAKE UP THIS CLASS.
CAN SOMEBODY HELP ME, PLEASE?
- YO, HOW COME YOU LOOK SO DOWN,
MAC DADDY?
- DON'T CALL ME THAT.
I THINK I SCREWED UP
THAT ETHICS TEST TODAY.
HOW'D YOU DO?
- PRETTY GOOD.
- WAIT A MINUTE.
YOU WEREN'T EVEN THERE TODAY.
YOU CUT CLASS
ON THE DAY OF A MIDTERM?
- I WAS EXCUSED.
I DIDN'T HAVE TO TAKE THE TEST.
COACH TALKED TO THE TEACHER,
AND I GOT BY.
- YOU MEAN YOU GOT A BYE.
- YEAH, THAT'S IT.
COACH SAYS I GOT TO MAINTAIN
A "C" AVERAGE
TO STAY ON THE TEAM,
SO HE TOOK CARE OF IT
OR SOMETHING.
- HEY, THAT'S NOT FAIR.
I'M ON THE TEAM,
AND I HAD TO STUDY.
- I'M THE Q.B., MAC DADDY.
DON'T CALL ME THAT!
WHEN ARE YOU GONNA GET IT
THROUGH YOUR THICK SKULL
ALREADY?
- IF THAT'S HOW YOU FEEL,
ALL YOU HAD TO DO
WAS SAY SO, BRO.
SO, BRO,
WHAT'S WRONG, BRO?
- DID YOU HEAR THAT?
- WHOEVER SAID LIFE WAS FAIR?
- I DON'T KNOW, BUT I'LL BET
HE WAS A QUARTERBACK.
- YOU KNOW, I HAD
THIS WEIRD ANXIETY DREAM
WHERE WE HAD
THIS POP QUIZ IN MATH
THAT I WAS TOTALLY
UNPREPARED FOR.
- WERE YOU IN YOUR UNDERWEAR?
- NO,
THAT'S HOW I FIGURED OUT
IT WASN'T A DREAM.
- UH-OH.
NOT A GREAT SCORE ON THE QUIZ?
- MY STRAIGHT "C" AVERAGE
IN MATH
IS NOW IN SERIOUS DANGER
OF BECOMING A "D,"
SO I'M OFF TO STUDY HALL.
- TO FINISH YOUR NAP?
- YOU KNOW ME TOO WELL.
- YO, BRO, WHAT'S WRONG?
I'M HERE FOR YOU, BRO.
HEY, BRO, WAIT UP!
- GEE, DARIA, YOU'RE HOME LATE
FROM SCHOOL TODAY.
- QUINN'S ALWAYS HOME THIS LATE.
- YEAH, BUT THAT'S BECAUSE
SHE'S USUALLY WITH SOME...
OH, MY GOSH.
DARIA, YOU MET A GUY!
- ACTUALLY, I'M LATE
BECAUSE I HAD TO MAKE UP
GYM CLASS.
- OH, YOU DON'T HAVE TO PRETEND
WITH OLD DAD.
GO ON, TELL ME,
WHO'S THE LUCKY FELLA?
GEE, DARIA, I HOPE HE'S NOT
PRESSURING YOU TO, UH, DO...
ANYTHING.
- ALL RIGHT,
YOU FIGURED ME OUT.
HE'S A SENIOR, AND HE CARVES
WORDS INTO HIS ARM.
TOGETHER WE'RE HOPING TO BUCK
THE ODDS AGAINST TEEN MARRIAGES.
THAT'S A GOOD ONE, DARIA.
- I'M KIDDING.
- OF COURSE YOU ARE, KIDDO.
I KNEW THAT.
- OH, IF SOMEONE NAMED KNUCKLES
CALLS, IT'S FOR ME.
- DARIA, JUST GETTING HOME?
- I HAD TO MAKE UP GYM.
- REALLY? WHY?
- THE TEACHER WAS RUNNING
A CHEERLEADING PRACTICE
DURING CLASS,
SO I SAT OUT.
I'M NOT GONNA JUMP UP AND DOWN
LIKE AN IDIOT
TO PROVE TO THE WORLD
WHAT I DON'T BELIEVE,
WHICH IS THAT JOCKS
ARE GREAT.
- GOOD FOR YOU, HONEY.
THE ONLY WAY IT'LL STOP BEING
A MAN'S WORLD
IS IF WE GET THE BOYS
OUT THERE
IN THEIR SHORT SHORTS
CHEERING TOO.
MM.
WHAT I MEAN IS, THIS
DOUBLE STANDARD HAS GOT TO END.
RIGHT, JAKE?
- DAMN STRAIGHT.
EQUAL PAY FOR EQUAL WORK.
IS THAT RIGHT?
- DARIA, I DON'T APPROVE
OF REFUSING TO PARTICIPATE
IN CLASS,
BUT NO DAUGHTER OF MINE
IS GOING TO BUY
INTO THE MIND-SET
THAT A WOMAN'S PURPOSE IN LIFE
IS PLEASING MEN.
- LIKE MY NEW SHOES?
THEY PINCH MY TOES
AND GIVE ME BLISTERS,
BUT THEY MAKE MY LEGS LOOK HOT,
SO I'M GONNA BUY ANOTHER PAIR.
- SO HELEN
ACTUALLY SUPPORTED YOU
ON THIS GYM CLASS THING.
- HER VESTIGIAL SENSE
OF RIGHT AND WRONG
WAS ACTING UP AGAIN.
WHAT DOES YOUR MOTHER THINK
ABOUT IT?
- I DON'T KNOW.
WHEN SHE GETS BACK
FROM THE PAINTED DESERT,
I'LL ASK HER
IF SHE HAD A VISION.
YOU KNOW, I'D REALLY LIKE
TO SHOW THAT MS. MORRIS
THAT THE LANES ARE NO BUNCH
OF ORDINARY DEADBEATS.
- OF COURSE NOT.
YOU'RE DEADBEATS WITH STYLE.
- EXACTLY.
AND SPEAKING OF STYLE,
FASHION FIENDS AT HIGH NOON.
- CAN YOU IMAGINE JOINING
AN ACTUAL SPORT?
- YOU'D GET ALL SWEATY,
AND YOUR MAKEUP WOULD SMUDGE.
- YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO DATE JOCKS,
NOT BE ONE.
- OH, AND I READ IN WAIF
THAT RUNNING
MAKES YOUR FEET SPREAD
TO A BIGGER SHOE SIZE,
WHICH WOULD LOOK
REALLY, REALLY, REALLY BAD.
All: EW.
- HOW ARE YOUR FEET
IN THOSE NEW SHOES, QUINN?
- THEY'RE KILLING ME.
- OHH, THAT'S TOO BAD.
WHAT KIND OF LOSER WOULD SIGN UP
FOR THE TRACK TEAM?
- YOU GIRLS DON'T THINK
I'M A LOSER, DO YOU?
- ARE YOU ASKING
IF YOU CAN HANG OUT WITH US?
- NOPE.
I PREFER WOMEN WITH A SLIGHTLY
MORE ENLIGHTENED ATTITUDE
TOWARD FITNESS.
- OH, YEAH?
- I GUESS YOU CAN BE BORN
IN THE '80s
AND STILL STUCK IN THE '50s.
- MM.
- IT'S HARD TO BELIEVE
THERE'S ANYONE ALIVE
WHO STILL THINKS BEING ATHLETIC
ISN'T LADYLIKE.
- MM.
- WOMEN CAN EXCEL AT ANY SPORT
THEY PUT THEIR MINDS TO.
- I DEFINITELY AGREE
WITH THAT.
- ME TOO.
I'D LIKE TO SIGN UP
FOR THE TRACK TEAM.
- WHAT?
- MISS LANE,
WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
- TRYING OUT FOR TRACK TEAM.
- YOU WON'T PARTICIPATE
IN REGULAR GYM CLASS,
BUT YOU WANT TO JOIN
AN EXTRACURRICULAR SPORT?
- I LIKE TO RUN.
- OKAY.
LET'S SEE IF YOU'RE ANY GOOD
AT IT.
- I'D PARTICULARLY LIKE TO RUN
UP AND DOWN YOUR SPINE
WEARING TRACK SPIKES.
- SHE ISN'T
YOUR FAVORITE TEACHER?
- WE HAVE A SCORE TO SETTLE.
- I'M EVAN, BY THE WAY.
- JANE.
- SO YOU THINK YOU'RE READY
FOR TRACK?
- YEAH, I FIGURE
IF THE PEOPLE SUCK,
I CAN ALWAYS WEAR HEADPHONES.
- I'M WAY AHEAD OF YOU.
- UNTIL WE GET OUT THERE.
- YOU WALKING HOME?
- NOT TODAY. PRACTICE.
- SO YOU MADE
THE TRACK TEAM?
- YEAH.
THIS IS THE PART
WHERE YOU SAY,
"HEY, WAY TO GO.
CONGRATULATIONS."
HEY, WAY TO GO.
- "CONGRATULATIONS"?
CONGRATULATIONS.
- NOW, DON'T GET MUSHY ON ME.
- ARE MICROBES HAVING SEX
IN YOUR DRINKING WATER?
H2...
NEXT ON SICK, SAD WORLD.
- JANE ON A SCHOOL TEAM...
THAT'S PATHETIC.
HEY, IF SHE'S THE PATHETIC ONE,
WHY AM I TALKING TO MYSELF?
AND MORE IMPORTANTLY,
WHY AM I WAITING FOR A REPLY?
- QUINN, IT IS SO GREAT OF YOU
TO INVITE US OVER
TO WATCH THE MISS CONTINENTS
OF THE EARTH PAGEANT.
- OH, SANDY, IT'S SO GREAT
OF YOU TO COME OVER.
- QUINN, YOUR COUSIN
OR WHATEVER
SURE SPENDS A LOT OF TIME
AT YOUR HOUSE.
- YES, WELL,
SHE HAS NOWHERE ELSE TO GO,
WHAT WITH HER PARENTS
BEING IN JAIL AND ALL.
- LOOK, IT'S STARTING.
- SHOULDN'T YOU ALL
BE RUNNING AROUND IN TEDDIES
AND GIVING EACH OTHER MAKEOVERS
BY NOW?
- MUSTARD IS NOT HER COLOR.
Beep, beep!
- OH, THE NO-SALT, NO-OIL,
FAT-FREE POPCORN IS READY.
- POPCORN!
- YUM.
- STOP.
MY MOUTH IS WATERING.
- YUMMY.
- JUST LOVE THAT STUFF.
- OH, YEAH, I KNOW I LIKE
TO WEAR HEELS
WITH MY BATHING SUIT.
AND I NEVER GO SWIMMING
WITHOUT MY LIP LINER.
- QUINN, I NEED
TO ASK YOU SOMETHING.
- ALL RIGHT!
SO TUESDAY NIGHT,
I WASN'T WASHING CARS
FOR THE UNITED WAY.
BUT, MOM, IF YOU'D SEEN
HIS BOYISH SMILE,
YOU'D UNDERSTAND.
- ACTUALLY,
I WANTED TO ASK YOU
TO SPEND SOME TIME
WITH YOUR SISTER.
- WHY DON'T YOU JUST LOCK ME
IN THE ATTIC TILL I'M 25?
I CAN'T SACRIFICE ANY MORE
FOR HER, MOTHER.
I JUST CAN'T.
- QUINN, I'M WORRIED.
SHE'S ALONE TOO MUCH, AND I
THINK SHE'S TALKING TO HERSELF.
JUST GIVE HER AN AFTERNOON.
SHE'D DO IT FOR YOU.
- SHOULD I AGREE TO PERFORM
THIS SENSITIVE
AND DIFFICULT TASK,
AND I'M NOT SAYING I WILL,
WHAT'S IN IT FOR ME?
- I AM DISAPPOINTED
THAT IT'S COME TO THIS,
BUT YOU CAN TAKE MY CREDIT CARD
TO THE MALL.
- PLATINUM?
- GREEN.
- GOLD.
- DONE.
- SOMEONE'S KNOCKING.
COME IN.
- HI, DARIA.
HOW'S IT GOING?
- OKAY. OUT WITH IT.
- I WAS THINKING
THAT YOU AND I COULD, YOU KNOW,
DO SOMETHING TOGETHER.
- ALL RIGHT, WHO ARE YOU,
AND WHERE ARE YOU HIDING QUINN?
- WHAT?
CAN'T A SISTER
SPEND TIME WITH HER...
- COUSIN?
- ALL RIGHT, MOM IS FORCING ME
TO HANG OUT WITH YOU.
- "FORCING"?
- I'VE GOT HER GOLD CARD.
- WHY DIDN'T YOU JUST SAY SO?
GIVE ME
THE FIRST CASH ADVANCE,
AND YOU CAN COME WITH ME
TO THE LIBRARY.
- THE LIBRARY?
IF ANYONE SAW ME THERE,
I'D DIE.
- OKAY, THEN.
HOW 'BOUT THE MALL?
YOU KNOW, WHERE YOUR FRIENDS
HANG OUT.
- UM, HI.
- WILL YOU READ TO ME?
- I REALLY LIKE STORIES.
- YOU DON'T HAVE TO TELL ME
A STORY; JUST TALK.
- SO JACK AND JILL
WENT UP THE HILL OR WHATEVER
TO THE SAMPLE SALE, WHERE JILL
FOUND THE PERFECT ENSEMBLE,
AND JACK GAVE IT TO HER
FOR THE ONE MONTH'S ANNIVERSARY
OF THEIR FIRST DATE.
- HEY, QUINN.
I JUST CAME BY TO PICK UP MY
LITTLE BROTHER FROM STORY HOUR.
I DIDN'T KNOW
YOU WERE A READER.
- HI, CALVIN.
I'M NOT ACTUALLY...
- THAT'S REALLY COOL.
I MEAN, YOU'RE POPULAR.
YOU DON'T HAVE TO VOLUNTEER.
- OH, WELL, YOU KNOW,
I GET BACK MORE THAN I GIVE.
I MEAN, THE CHILDREN
APPRECIATE IT SO.
LIBRARIAN, COULD YOU RETURN
THESE MAGAZINES FOR ME?
THANKS A BUNCH, DEAR.
SO WHERE ARE YOU GUYS
HEADED NOW?
- "THIN THIGHS FOR YOUR MAN."
BUT I DON'T LIKE MEN
WITH THIN THIGHS.
LAND THAT BIG
SNEAKER ENDORSEMENT YET?
- NAH, THEY WOULDN'T
MEET MY PRICE.
TODAY'S OUR FIRST TRACK MEET.
I WOULDN'T MIND
IF YOU WERE THERE.
- OH.
WELL, YOU KNOW
HOW I HATE TO CANCEL
MY LINE DANCING LESSON,
BUT OKAY.
- COOL.
- THE QUESTION IS,
AM I SUPPORTING MY FRIEND
OR HER SURRENDER TO THE SYSTEM?
DO YOU MIND?
THIS IS A PRIVATE CONVERSATION.
- HEY, DARIA.
- TRENT?
WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
- I CAME TO SUPPORT JANEY.
THEY'RE POWER-SCRUBBING
MY ROOM AGAIN.
ANYWAY, THIS RUNNING STUFF
MEANS A LOT TO HER.
- UH-HUH.
- WHAT SHE'S DOING TAKES GUTS...
ALL THAT PRACTICING
DAY IN, DAY OUT.
- YEAH.
- AND WHAT FOR?
SO A CROWD OF DRUNKS
CAN MAKE YOUR ART
THE BACKDROP TO THEIR
PATHETIC MATING DANCE?
THEY DON'T CARE
ABOUT YOUR DREAM.
THEY JUST WANT SOMETHING LOUD
GOING ON
SO THEY DON'T HAVE TO TALK.
- WE'RE NOT DISCUSSING JANE
ANYMORE, ARE WE?
- HEY, JANE'S GOOD.
- SHE'S GREAT.
GO. GO.
KICK BUTT.
AND YOU MISSED
A LOT OF REALLY GOOD TV
WHILE YOU WERE
AT ALL THOSE PRACTICES.
THE OTHER DAY,
THEY HAD THIS SPECIAL,
WHEN ANIMALS HOLD A GRUDGE...
- JANE, YOU WERE AMAZING.
FIRST PLACE?
- YEAH, CONGRATULATIONS.
- THANKS.
I JUST PRETEND I'M RUNNING AWAY
FROM A PEP RALLY.
- YO, BRO!
- GOT TO GO.
- SO ANYWAY,
THIS ONE PARAKEET
WAS REALLY TICKED OFF
AT ITS OWNER
FOR NOT CHANGING ITS WATER.
- HEY, TEAMMATE.
DID YOU SEE THIS GIRL
RUN LIKE THE WIND?
- HAVE YOU EVER HEARD HER
BREAK WIND?
- DARIA!
THAT'S PRETTY FUNNY.
SEE YOU AT PRACTICE, SPEEDY.
- SO ANYWAY, THE PARAKEET
WAITS UNTIL ITS OWNER...
- JEEZ, DARIA, WHAT THE HELL
WAS THAT ALL ABOUT?
- WHAT?
- HEY, HEY, HEY,
IT'S THE TRACK STAR.
YOU'RE GONNA LIKE
BEING A JOCK, MAN.
WHEN YOU'RE A WINNER, EVERYBODY
WANTS TO BE YOUR FRIEND.
- NOT LIKE THOSE BORING FRIENDS
YOU USED TO HAVE
WHO LIKED YOU
EVEN WHEN YOU LOST.
- YOU MEAN THE ONES WHO MADE
INCREDIBLY HUMILIATING JOKES
AT MY EXPENSE?
- OH, COME ON.
- YOU COME ON, DARIA.
SO I TRIED
SOMETHING DIFFERENT.
I WENT OUT ON A LIMB,
AND I PARTICIPATED IN SOMETHING,
AND IT WORKED OUT.
WHY DO YOU HAVE TO BE
SO PISSY ABOUT IT?
- UH, BABE, THIS IS
REALLY AWKWARD, RIGHT?
- YEAH, BABE.
- IT'S CREEPING ME OUT.
- OH, KEVIE, COME ON.
NURSE BRITTANY GONNA MAKE YOU
FEEL ALL BETTER.
- ♪ EXCUSE ME ♪
♪ EXCUSE ME ♪
♪ ♪
- WHOO!
- LET'S GO, JANE!
♪ ♪
- ALL RIGHT, SO I THOUGHT
I WAS MAKING A JOKE,
BUT I WAS REALLY HUMILIATING YOU
IN FRONT OF THIS GUY YOU LIKE...
- APPRECIATE.
- THIS GUY
YOU APPRECIATE,
WHICH WAS STUPID
AND INSENSITIVE,
SO I'M AN IDIOT,
AND I'M SORRY, OKAY?
- NOT SO FAST.
HOW DO I KNOW
THIS IS A SINCERE APOLOGY
AND NOT A CHEAP PLOY
TO GET BACK ON MY GOOD SIDE?
- WHY DOES THERE HAVE TO BE
A DIFFERENCE?
- I ACCEPT.
- THANK YOU.
PIZZA AFTER SCHOOL?
- I WISH I COULD.
PRACTICE.
- I GUESS WE'D BETTER JOIN
THE REST OF THE CHEERLEADERS
BEFORE WE GET DETENTION AGAIN.
- DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT.
- WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
- HOW ARE THE LEGS, JANE?
- OKAY.
MAYBE A LITTLE SORE
AFTER THE MEET.
- SORE?
YOU BETTER REST UP
FOR TOMORROW.
HERE, GO WATCH TV
IN MY OFFICE.
- I DON'T KNOW.
I DON'T REALLY WANT
TO BE ALL BY MYSELF.
- MS. MORGENDORFFER,
YOU JOIN HER.
- YES, MA'AM.
ANYTHING FOR THE TEAM, MA'AM.
SO THAT'S YOUR ARCHENEMY.
- DO YOU THINK
IT'S HYPOCRITICAL OF ME
TO ACCEPT FAVORS
FROM A WOMAN I DESPISE?
- DOES SHE HAVE CABLE?
- LET'S FIND OUT.
Thump!
HELP ME!
- OH.
THEY'RE EATING DINNER.
SHOULD I SIT DOWN AND JOIN THEM
OR FAKE A HEADACHE?
I'M NOT FEELING TOO WELL.
I THINK I'LL EAT LATER.
- OH, BOY, CUCKOO GIRL
IS AT IT AGAIN.
- I'M REALLY WORRIED.
SHE'S BEEN ACTING THIS WAY
FOR DAYS.
- IT'S THAT GUY KNUCKLES!
I TELL YOU,
HE'S MESSING WITH HER HEAD!
- QUINN, I THOUGHT YOU WERE
GOING TO SPEND SOME TIME
WITH YOUR SISTER.
- OH, YEAH. HERE.
- WHAT'S THIS?
- WELL, THAT ONE'S
MY TIME SHEET
SHOWING THE HOURS AND LOCATIONS
WHERE I BABYSAT DARIA.
AND THAT OTHER ONE'S A RECEIPT
FOR MY NEW PLEATHER JACKET.
THANKS!
- $300?
- DAD, IT'S VERY DIFFICULT
TO KEEP HER AMUSED.
OH, AND WHEN THE CASH ADVANCE
SHOWS UP ON THE STATEMENT,
DON'T BLAME ME.
THAT'S DARIA'S.
- HOW'D THE MATH TEST GO?
- I PASSED.
- YOU HOPE.
- I KNOW.
- WELL, AREN'T WE CONFIDENT?
IF I HAD
AS MUCH TROUBLE WITH...
YOU GOT A BYE ON THE TEST,
DIDN'T YOU?
- I PROBABLY WOULD'VE GOTTEN
A "C" ANYWAY.
- I CAN'T BELIEVE IT.
- HEY, YOU WATCHED TV
WITH ME
INSTEAD OF GOING TO GYM.
- SO?
- SO THAT WAS ONE PERK
OF BEING ON THE TEAM.
THE MATH TEST WAS ANOTHER.
- YOU DON'T SEE
ANY DIFFERENCE?
- YEAH, THE MATH TEST
WAS A HELL OF A LOT BETTER.
- GIVE ME A BREAK.
- WHAT'S UP
WITH YOUR FRIEND?
- OH, I RUBBED
HER SELF-RIGHTEOUSNESS
THE WRONG WAY.
- I DON'T KNOW WHY YOU HANG OUT
WITH HER ANYWAY.
- WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
- WELL, YOU'RE SORT OF
A SPORTS STAR NOW.
IT'S NOT SO COOL TO BE HANGING
AROUND WITH, YOU KNOW, LOSERS.
- YEAH, YOU'RE RIGHT.
I'VE BEEN SPENDING TOO MUCH TIME
WITH LOSERS.
- I'M GLAD YOU...
SEE IT MY WAY.
SHE HAD A POINT.
WHO AM I TO CRITICIZE HER
WHEN I WAS GETTING
SPILLOVER PERKS?
GOD, I WISH SHE'D JUST QUIT
THAT DAMN TEAM.
IT'S CORRUPTING ME.
I'LL GET IT.
- YO, IT'S ME.
- ACT NATURAL.
YOU'RE NOT HURT.
- WHAT?
- HUH?
- LOOK, I'VE BEEN THINKING,
AND YOU'RE RIGHT.
IT WAS REALLY SCREWED UP OF ME
TO TAKE A BYE ON THAT MATH TEST.
I SHOULD HAVE GONE IN THERE
AND FAILED IT ON MY OWN.
- THEY GAVE YOU THE CHANCE
TO CUT A CORNER.
I CAN'T BLAME YOU
FOR TAKING IT.
- THIS ALL HAPPENED
'CAUSE I WAS TRYING
TO PROVE TO MISS MORRIS
THAT I'M NOT A DEADBEAT.
- AND THAT EVAN GUY
FACTORS IN EXACTLY HOW?
- THAT JERK?
I CAN'T BELIEVE
YOU THOUGHT HE WAS CUTE.
- YEAH, AREN'T I A DOPE?
HEY, DON'T YOU
HAVE PRACTICE NOW?
- YEAH. I QUIT.
- WHAT?
- I QUIT.
I'M AFRAID I MIGHT
COME OUT OF HIGH SCHOOL
KNOWING AS MUCH AS KEVIN.
- YOU CAME OUT
OF KINDERGARTEN
KNOWING MORE THAN KEVIN.
- REMIND ME OF THAT WHEN HE GETS
HIS FOOTBALL SCHOLARSHIP.
UM, I'LL BRING THE SPIKES BACK
TOMORROW, HONEST.
- JANE, I WISH
YOU WOULD CONSIDER
COMING BACK TO THE TEAM.
- YEAH, COME ON,
IT'LL BE COOL.
- PLEASE, PLEASE. COME ON.
- COME ON, JANE.
- THANKS, BUT I STAND
BY MY DECISION.
- JANE, I WISH
YOU WOULD CONSIDER
COMING BACK TO THE TEAM.
- AM I MISSING SOMETHING?
- THE TEAM NEEDS YOU,
AND YOU NEED THE TEAM
IF YOU DON'T WANT TO BE HERE
TAKING MATH AGAIN THIS SUMMER.
- GEE, THAT ALMOST SOUNDS
LIKE BLACKMAIL.
FORTUNATELY, I CAN PULL UP
MY MATH GRADE ON MY OWN.
- THEN I'LL FLUNK YOU.
- WHY DON'T I JUST GO
TO MS. LI
AND EXPOSE THIS WHOLE
GRADE-CHANGING ARRANGEMENT?
- SHE ALREADY KNOWS.
- OKAY, THEN BACK OFF,
OR I'LL TELL THE PTA.
- THEY KNOW TOO.
- CONGRESS?
- YOU'RE BEATEN, LANE.
- HOW ABOUT IF I CALL
THE THREE LOCAL TV STATIONS
AND TELL EACH ONE
THAT THE OTHER TWO
ARE RUNNING THE STORY?
- DAMN.
- I REALLY DON'T GET YOU.
- NO, YOU DON'T.
- WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR
"COME AND GET IT" HEELS?
- HA, HA, DARIA.
I DECIDED I SHOULDN'T WEAR SHOES
THAT KILL ME
JUST BECAUSE THEY MAKE MY LEGS
LOOK HOT.
- WHY, QUINN, HOW MATURE.
- I MEAN, MY LEGS LOOK HOT
NO MATTER WHAT I WEAR.
THEY'D PROBABLY EVEN LOOK GOOD
IN THOSE THINGS YOU HAVE ON.
- I DIDN'T THINK THINGS
COULD GET ANY MORE PATHETIC,
BUT OBVIOUSLY, I WAS WRONG.
- COME ON, LADIES.
YOU'VE GOT A LOT OF WORK
TO MAKE UP.
- TELL ME THAT AT LEAST
I HAVE MY INTEGRITY.
- INTEGRITY IS A FUNNY WORD.
- WELL, THEN AT LEAST TELL ME
I'M MARGINALLY LESS CORRUPT
THAN THE JOCKS.
- YOU REFUSED TO PARTICIPATE
IN A CROOKED SYSTEM
WHERE GOOD GRADES ARE EXCHANGED
FOR ATHLETIC PERFORMANCE,
BUT YOU DIDN'T TRY
TO REFORM THE SYSTEM EITHER.
- FOR FEAR
OF COMPLETE TEENAGE EXILE.
- RIGHT.
SO THE SYSTEM CONTINUES,
YOU HAVEN'T REDEEMED YOURSELF,
AND WE'RE OSTRACIZED ANYWAY.
- COME ON, NOW, STOP TRYING
TO PAINT A ROSY PICTURE.
- YOU KNOW WHAT?
- WHAT?
- THEY REALLY ARE PREPARING US
FOR THE REAL WORLD.
- DARIA, JANE, COME ON.
IT'S TIME FOR SPLITS!
Thump!
OWWW!
- ♪ LA-LA, LA, LA-LA ♪
♪ ♪
♪ LA, LA, LA ♪
♪ ♪
♪ LA, LA, LA ♪
♪ ♪
♪ LA, LA, LA ♪
♪ ♪
♪ LA-LA, LA, LA-LA ♪
♪ ♪
♪ LA-LA, LA, LA-LA ♪
♪ LA-LA, LA, LA-LA ♪
- OKAY, LADIES, LISTEN UP.
SINCE IT'S
FOCUS ON AGILITY MONTH,
FOR THE REST OF THE CLASS,
I WANT YOU ALL TO WORK
ON YOUR CARTWHEELS,
SPLITS, AND AERIALS.
BRITTANY,
THAT'S A PERFECT SPLIT.
- THANKS, MISS MORRIS.
WHOA-OO-OA!
- FUNNY HOW ALL THE DRILLS
FOR FOCUS ON AGILITY MONTH
ARE THE SAME ONES YOU'D DO
IF YOU WERE TRYING
TO SNEAK A CHEERLEADER PRACTICE
INTO REGULAR GYM CLASS.
- YES, AND I DON'T INTEND
TO STAND FOR IT.
THEY CAN HAVE MY SQUAT THRUSTS
WHEN THEY PRY THEM
FROM MY COLD, DEAD HANDS.
- WHAT?
- I DON'T KNOW.
- SEE SOMETHING YOU LIKE,
OR JUST BROWSING?
- I'M THINKING ABOUT GETTING
THOSE RUNNING SHOES.
- UH-HUH.
WHAT COLOR WERE THEY?
- JUST KICK THE BLEACHERS
OUT FROM UNDERNEATH ME, OKAY?
- UH-OH, BUSTED.
- LADIES,
WHY AREN'T YOU EXERCISING
WITH THE REST OF THE CLASS?
- WE ARE EXERCISING.
- WE'RE EXERCISING
OUR RIGHT
TO ABSTAIN
FROM CHEERLEADER PRACTICE.
- THAT'S NOT CHEERLEADING.
IT'S AGILITY.
JANE LANE, YOU'RE JUST LIKE
YOUR SISTERS, AREN'T YOU?
- WE SHARE
CERTAIN CHROMOSOME PAIRS.
BEYOND THAT,
I'M NOT SUPPOSED TO SAY.
CAN'T BE PART OF A GROUP,
ALWAYS HAVE TO BE DIFFERENT.
YOUR SISTER PENNY NEVER WANTED
TO PARTICIPATE EITHER.
I TAUGHT HER A THING OR TWO
ABOUT THE AMERICAN
COMPETITIVE SPIRIT.
- YOU SURE DID.
THAT'S WHY SHE'S SPENT THE LAST
TEN YEARS OUT OF THE COUNTRY.
- I KNOW WHAT KIND
OF UPBRINGING SHE'S HAD.
WHAT'S YOUR EXCUSE?
- I'M JUST PLAIN NO GOOD.
- LIFE'S JUST ONE BIG
SMART-ASS JOKE, ISN'T IT?
WELL, I'M HERE TO PREPARE YOU
FOR THE REAL WORLD.
I'LL SEE YOU BOTH AFTER SCHOOL
TO MAKE UP THIS CLASS.
CAN SOMEBODY HELP ME, PLEASE?
- YO, HOW COME YOU LOOK SO DOWN,
MAC DADDY?
- DON'T CALL ME THAT.
I THINK I SCREWED UP
THAT ETHICS TEST TODAY.
HOW'D YOU DO?
- PRETTY GOOD.
- WAIT A MINUTE.
YOU WEREN'T EVEN THERE TODAY.
YOU CUT CLASS
ON THE DAY OF A MIDTERM?
- I WAS EXCUSED.
I DIDN'T HAVE TO TAKE THE TEST.
COACH TALKED TO THE TEACHER,
AND I GOT BY.
- YOU MEAN YOU GOT A BYE.
- YEAH, THAT'S IT.
COACH SAYS I GOT TO MAINTAIN
A "C" AVERAGE
TO STAY ON THE TEAM,
SO HE TOOK CARE OF IT
OR SOMETHING.
- HEY, THAT'S NOT FAIR.
I'M ON THE TEAM,
AND I HAD TO STUDY.
- I'M THE Q.B., MAC DADDY.
DON'T CALL ME THAT!
WHEN ARE YOU GONNA GET IT
THROUGH YOUR THICK SKULL
ALREADY?
- IF THAT'S HOW YOU FEEL,
ALL YOU HAD TO DO
WAS SAY SO, BRO.
SO, BRO,
WHAT'S WRONG, BRO?
- DID YOU HEAR THAT?
- WHOEVER SAID LIFE WAS FAIR?
- I DON'T KNOW, BUT I'LL BET
HE WAS A QUARTERBACK.
- YOU KNOW, I HAD
THIS WEIRD ANXIETY DREAM
WHERE WE HAD
THIS POP QUIZ IN MATH
THAT I WAS TOTALLY
UNPREPARED FOR.
- WERE YOU IN YOUR UNDERWEAR?
- NO,
THAT'S HOW I FIGURED OUT
IT WASN'T A DREAM.
- UH-OH.
NOT A GREAT SCORE ON THE QUIZ?
- MY STRAIGHT "C" AVERAGE
IN MATH
IS NOW IN SERIOUS DANGER
OF BECOMING A "D,"
SO I'M OFF TO STUDY HALL.
- TO FINISH YOUR NAP?
- YOU KNOW ME TOO WELL.
- YO, BRO, WHAT'S WRONG?
I'M HERE FOR YOU, BRO.
HEY, BRO, WAIT UP!
- GEE, DARIA, YOU'RE HOME LATE
FROM SCHOOL TODAY.
- QUINN'S ALWAYS HOME THIS LATE.
- YEAH, BUT THAT'S BECAUSE
SHE'S USUALLY WITH SOME...
OH, MY GOSH.
DARIA, YOU MET A GUY!
- ACTUALLY, I'M LATE
BECAUSE I HAD TO MAKE UP
GYM CLASS.
- OH, YOU DON'T HAVE TO PRETEND
WITH OLD DAD.
GO ON, TELL ME,
WHO'S THE LUCKY FELLA?
GEE, DARIA, I HOPE HE'S NOT
PRESSURING YOU TO, UH, DO...
ANYTHING.
- ALL RIGHT,
YOU FIGURED ME OUT.
HE'S A SENIOR, AND HE CARVES
WORDS INTO HIS ARM.
TOGETHER WE'RE HOPING TO BUCK
THE ODDS AGAINST TEEN MARRIAGES.
THAT'S A GOOD ONE, DARIA.
- I'M KIDDING.
- OF COURSE YOU ARE, KIDDO.
I KNEW THAT.
- OH, IF SOMEONE NAMED KNUCKLES
CALLS, IT'S FOR ME.
- DARIA, JUST GETTING HOME?
- I HAD TO MAKE UP GYM.
- REALLY? WHY?
- THE TEACHER WAS RUNNING
A CHEERLEADING PRACTICE
DURING CLASS,
SO I SAT OUT.
I'M NOT GONNA JUMP UP AND DOWN
LIKE AN IDIOT
TO PROVE TO THE WORLD
WHAT I DON'T BELIEVE,
WHICH IS THAT JOCKS
ARE GREAT.
- GOOD FOR YOU, HONEY.
THE ONLY WAY IT'LL STOP BEING
A MAN'S WORLD
IS IF WE GET THE BOYS
OUT THERE
IN THEIR SHORT SHORTS
CHEERING TOO.
MM.
WHAT I MEAN IS, THIS
DOUBLE STANDARD HAS GOT TO END.
RIGHT, JAKE?
- DAMN STRAIGHT.
EQUAL PAY FOR EQUAL WORK.
IS THAT RIGHT?
- DARIA, I DON'T APPROVE
OF REFUSING TO PARTICIPATE
IN CLASS,
BUT NO DAUGHTER OF MINE
IS GOING TO BUY
INTO THE MIND-SET
THAT A WOMAN'S PURPOSE IN LIFE
IS PLEASING MEN.
- LIKE MY NEW SHOES?
THEY PINCH MY TOES
AND GIVE ME BLISTERS,
BUT THEY MAKE MY LEGS LOOK HOT,
SO I'M GONNA BUY ANOTHER PAIR.
- SO HELEN
ACTUALLY SUPPORTED YOU
ON THIS GYM CLASS THING.
- HER VESTIGIAL SENSE
OF RIGHT AND WRONG
WAS ACTING UP AGAIN.
WHAT DOES YOUR MOTHER THINK
ABOUT IT?
- I DON'T KNOW.
WHEN SHE GETS BACK
FROM THE PAINTED DESERT,
I'LL ASK HER
IF SHE HAD A VISION.
YOU KNOW, I'D REALLY LIKE
TO SHOW THAT MS. MORRIS
THAT THE LANES ARE NO BUNCH
OF ORDINARY DEADBEATS.
- OF COURSE NOT.
YOU'RE DEADBEATS WITH STYLE.
- EXACTLY.
AND SPEAKING OF STYLE,
FASHION FIENDS AT HIGH NOON.
- CAN YOU IMAGINE JOINING
AN ACTUAL SPORT?
- YOU'D GET ALL SWEATY,
AND YOUR MAKEUP WOULD SMUDGE.
- YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO DATE JOCKS,
NOT BE ONE.
- OH, AND I READ IN WAIF
THAT RUNNING
MAKES YOUR FEET SPREAD
TO A BIGGER SHOE SIZE,
WHICH WOULD LOOK
REALLY, REALLY, REALLY BAD.
All: EW.
- HOW ARE YOUR FEET
IN THOSE NEW SHOES, QUINN?
- THEY'RE KILLING ME.
- OHH, THAT'S TOO BAD.
WHAT KIND OF LOSER WOULD SIGN UP
FOR THE TRACK TEAM?
- YOU GIRLS DON'T THINK
I'M A LOSER, DO YOU?
- ARE YOU ASKING
IF YOU CAN HANG OUT WITH US?
- NOPE.
I PREFER WOMEN WITH A SLIGHTLY
MORE ENLIGHTENED ATTITUDE
TOWARD FITNESS.
- OH, YEAH?
- I GUESS YOU CAN BE BORN
IN THE '80s
AND STILL STUCK IN THE '50s.
- MM.
- IT'S HARD TO BELIEVE
THERE'S ANYONE ALIVE
WHO STILL THINKS BEING ATHLETIC
ISN'T LADYLIKE.
- MM.
- WOMEN CAN EXCEL AT ANY SPORT
THEY PUT THEIR MINDS TO.
- I DEFINITELY AGREE
WITH THAT.
- ME TOO.
I'D LIKE TO SIGN UP
FOR THE TRACK TEAM.
- WHAT?
- MISS LANE,
WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
- TRYING OUT FOR TRACK TEAM.
- YOU WON'T PARTICIPATE
IN REGULAR GYM CLASS,
BUT YOU WANT TO JOIN
AN EXTRACURRICULAR SPORT?
- I LIKE TO RUN.
- OKAY.
LET'S SEE IF YOU'RE ANY GOOD
AT IT.
- I'D PARTICULARLY LIKE TO RUN
UP AND DOWN YOUR SPINE
WEARING TRACK SPIKES.
- SHE ISN'T
YOUR FAVORITE TEACHER?
- WE HAVE A SCORE TO SETTLE.
- I'M EVAN, BY THE WAY.
- JANE.
- SO YOU THINK YOU'RE READY
FOR TRACK?
- YEAH, I FIGURE
IF THE PEOPLE SUCK,
I CAN ALWAYS WEAR HEADPHONES.
- I'M WAY AHEAD OF YOU.
- UNTIL WE GET OUT THERE.
- YOU WALKING HOME?
- NOT TODAY. PRACTICE.
- SO YOU MADE
THE TRACK TEAM?
- YEAH.
THIS IS THE PART
WHERE YOU SAY,
"HEY, WAY TO GO.
CONGRATULATIONS."
HEY, WAY TO GO.
- "CONGRATULATIONS"?
CONGRATULATIONS.
- NOW, DON'T GET MUSHY ON ME.
- ARE MICROBES HAVING SEX
IN YOUR DRINKING WATER?
H2...
NEXT ON SICK, SAD WORLD.
- JANE ON A SCHOOL TEAM...
THAT'S PATHETIC.
HEY, IF SHE'S THE PATHETIC ONE,
WHY AM I TALKING TO MYSELF?
AND MORE IMPORTANTLY,
WHY AM I WAITING FOR A REPLY?
- QUINN, IT IS SO GREAT OF YOU
TO INVITE US OVER
TO WATCH THE MISS CONTINENTS
OF THE EARTH PAGEANT.
- OH, SANDY, IT'S SO GREAT
OF YOU TO COME OVER.
- QUINN, YOUR COUSIN
OR WHATEVER
SURE SPENDS A LOT OF TIME
AT YOUR HOUSE.
- YES, WELL,
SHE HAS NOWHERE ELSE TO GO,
WHAT WITH HER PARENTS
BEING IN JAIL AND ALL.
- LOOK, IT'S STARTING.
- SHOULDN'T YOU ALL
BE RUNNING AROUND IN TEDDIES
AND GIVING EACH OTHER MAKEOVERS
BY NOW?
- MUSTARD IS NOT HER COLOR.
Beep, beep!
- OH, THE NO-SALT, NO-OIL,
FAT-FREE POPCORN IS READY.
- POPCORN!
- YUM.
- STOP.
MY MOUTH IS WATERING.
- YUMMY.
- JUST LOVE THAT STUFF.
- OH, YEAH, I KNOW I LIKE
TO WEAR HEELS
WITH MY BATHING SUIT.
AND I NEVER GO SWIMMING
WITHOUT MY LIP LINER.
- QUINN, I NEED
TO ASK YOU SOMETHING.
- ALL RIGHT!
SO TUESDAY NIGHT,
I WASN'T WASHING CARS
FOR THE UNITED WAY.
BUT, MOM, IF YOU'D SEEN
HIS BOYISH SMILE,
YOU'D UNDERSTAND.
- ACTUALLY,
I WANTED TO ASK YOU
TO SPEND SOME TIME
WITH YOUR SISTER.
- WHY DON'T YOU JUST LOCK ME
IN THE ATTIC TILL I'M 25?
I CAN'T SACRIFICE ANY MORE
FOR HER, MOTHER.
I JUST CAN'T.
- QUINN, I'M WORRIED.
SHE'S ALONE TOO MUCH, AND I
THINK SHE'S TALKING TO HERSELF.
JUST GIVE HER AN AFTERNOON.
SHE'D DO IT FOR YOU.
- SHOULD I AGREE TO PERFORM
THIS SENSITIVE
AND DIFFICULT TASK,
AND I'M NOT SAYING I WILL,
WHAT'S IN IT FOR ME?
- I AM DISAPPOINTED
THAT IT'S COME TO THIS,
BUT YOU CAN TAKE MY CREDIT CARD
TO THE MALL.
- PLATINUM?
- GREEN.
- GOLD.
- DONE.
- SOMEONE'S KNOCKING.
COME IN.
- HI, DARIA.
HOW'S IT GOING?
- OKAY. OUT WITH IT.
- I WAS THINKING
THAT YOU AND I COULD, YOU KNOW,
DO SOMETHING TOGETHER.
- ALL RIGHT, WHO ARE YOU,
AND WHERE ARE YOU HIDING QUINN?
- WHAT?
CAN'T A SISTER
SPEND TIME WITH HER...
- COUSIN?
- ALL RIGHT, MOM IS FORCING ME
TO HANG OUT WITH YOU.
- "FORCING"?
- I'VE GOT HER GOLD CARD.
- WHY DIDN'T YOU JUST SAY SO?
GIVE ME
THE FIRST CASH ADVANCE,
AND YOU CAN COME WITH ME
TO THE LIBRARY.
- THE LIBRARY?
IF ANYONE SAW ME THERE,
I'D DIE.
- OKAY, THEN.
HOW 'BOUT THE MALL?
YOU KNOW, WHERE YOUR FRIENDS
HANG OUT.
- UM, HI.
- WILL YOU READ TO ME?
- I REALLY LIKE STORIES.
- YOU DON'T HAVE TO TELL ME
A STORY; JUST TALK.
- SO JACK AND JILL
WENT UP THE HILL OR WHATEVER
TO THE SAMPLE SALE, WHERE JILL
FOUND THE PERFECT ENSEMBLE,
AND JACK GAVE IT TO HER
FOR THE ONE MONTH'S ANNIVERSARY
OF THEIR FIRST DATE.
- HEY, QUINN.
I JUST CAME BY TO PICK UP MY
LITTLE BROTHER FROM STORY HOUR.
I DIDN'T KNOW
YOU WERE A READER.
- HI, CALVIN.
I'M NOT ACTUALLY...
- THAT'S REALLY COOL.
I MEAN, YOU'RE POPULAR.
YOU DON'T HAVE TO VOLUNTEER.
- OH, WELL, YOU KNOW,
I GET BACK MORE THAN I GIVE.
I MEAN, THE CHILDREN
APPRECIATE IT SO.
LIBRARIAN, COULD YOU RETURN
THESE MAGAZINES FOR ME?
THANKS A BUNCH, DEAR.
SO WHERE ARE YOU GUYS
HEADED NOW?
- "THIN THIGHS FOR YOUR MAN."
BUT I DON'T LIKE MEN
WITH THIN THIGHS.
LAND THAT BIG
SNEAKER ENDORSEMENT YET?
- NAH, THEY WOULDN'T
MEET MY PRICE.
TODAY'S OUR FIRST TRACK MEET.
I WOULDN'T MIND
IF YOU WERE THERE.
- OH.
WELL, YOU KNOW
HOW I HATE TO CANCEL
MY LINE DANCING LESSON,
BUT OKAY.
- COOL.
- THE QUESTION IS,
AM I SUPPORTING MY FRIEND
OR HER SURRENDER TO THE SYSTEM?
DO YOU MIND?
THIS IS A PRIVATE CONVERSATION.
- HEY, DARIA.
- TRENT?
WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
- I CAME TO SUPPORT JANEY.
THEY'RE POWER-SCRUBBING
MY ROOM AGAIN.
ANYWAY, THIS RUNNING STUFF
MEANS A LOT TO HER.
- UH-HUH.
- WHAT SHE'S DOING TAKES GUTS...
ALL THAT PRACTICING
DAY IN, DAY OUT.
- YEAH.
- AND WHAT FOR?
SO A CROWD OF DRUNKS
CAN MAKE YOUR ART
THE BACKDROP TO THEIR
PATHETIC MATING DANCE?
THEY DON'T CARE
ABOUT YOUR DREAM.
THEY JUST WANT SOMETHING LOUD
GOING ON
SO THEY DON'T HAVE TO TALK.
- WE'RE NOT DISCUSSING JANE
ANYMORE, ARE WE?
- HEY, JANE'S GOOD.
- SHE'S GREAT.
GO. GO.
KICK BUTT.
AND YOU MISSED
A LOT OF REALLY GOOD TV
WHILE YOU WERE
AT ALL THOSE PRACTICES.
THE OTHER DAY,
THEY HAD THIS SPECIAL,
WHEN ANIMALS HOLD A GRUDGE...
- JANE, YOU WERE AMAZING.
FIRST PLACE?
- YEAH, CONGRATULATIONS.
- THANKS.
I JUST PRETEND I'M RUNNING AWAY
FROM A PEP RALLY.
- YO, BRO!
- GOT TO GO.
- SO ANYWAY,
THIS ONE PARAKEET
WAS REALLY TICKED OFF
AT ITS OWNER
FOR NOT CHANGING ITS WATER.
- HEY, TEAMMATE.
DID YOU SEE THIS GIRL
RUN LIKE THE WIND?
- HAVE YOU EVER HEARD HER
BREAK WIND?
- DARIA!
THAT'S PRETTY FUNNY.
SEE YOU AT PRACTICE, SPEEDY.
- SO ANYWAY, THE PARAKEET
WAITS UNTIL ITS OWNER...
- JEEZ, DARIA, WHAT THE HELL
WAS THAT ALL ABOUT?
- WHAT?
- HEY, HEY, HEY,
IT'S THE TRACK STAR.
YOU'RE GONNA LIKE
BEING A JOCK, MAN.
WHEN YOU'RE A WINNER, EVERYBODY
WANTS TO BE YOUR FRIEND.
- NOT LIKE THOSE BORING FRIENDS
YOU USED TO HAVE
WHO LIKED YOU
EVEN WHEN YOU LOST.
- YOU MEAN THE ONES WHO MADE
INCREDIBLY HUMILIATING JOKES
AT MY EXPENSE?
- OH, COME ON.
- YOU COME ON, DARIA.
SO I TRIED
SOMETHING DIFFERENT.
I WENT OUT ON A LIMB,
AND I PARTICIPATED IN SOMETHING,
AND IT WORKED OUT.
WHY DO YOU HAVE TO BE
SO PISSY ABOUT IT?
- UH, BABE, THIS IS
REALLY AWKWARD, RIGHT?
- YEAH, BABE.
- IT'S CREEPING ME OUT.
- OH, KEVIE, COME ON.
NURSE BRITTANY GONNA MAKE YOU
FEEL ALL BETTER.
- ♪ EXCUSE ME ♪
♪ EXCUSE ME ♪
♪ ♪
- WHOO!
- LET'S GO, JANE!
♪ ♪
- ALL RIGHT, SO I THOUGHT
I WAS MAKING A JOKE,
BUT I WAS REALLY HUMILIATING YOU
IN FRONT OF THIS GUY YOU LIKE...
- APPRECIATE.
- THIS GUY
YOU APPRECIATE,
WHICH WAS STUPID
AND INSENSITIVE,
SO I'M AN IDIOT,
AND I'M SORRY, OKAY?
- NOT SO FAST.
HOW DO I KNOW
THIS IS A SINCERE APOLOGY
AND NOT A CHEAP PLOY
TO GET BACK ON MY GOOD SIDE?
- WHY DOES THERE HAVE TO BE
A DIFFERENCE?
- I ACCEPT.
- THANK YOU.
PIZZA AFTER SCHOOL?
- I WISH I COULD.
PRACTICE.
- I GUESS WE'D BETTER JOIN
THE REST OF THE CHEERLEADERS
BEFORE WE GET DETENTION AGAIN.
- DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT.
- WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
- HOW ARE THE LEGS, JANE?
- OKAY.
MAYBE A LITTLE SORE
AFTER THE MEET.
- SORE?
YOU BETTER REST UP
FOR TOMORROW.
HERE, GO WATCH TV
IN MY OFFICE.
- I DON'T KNOW.
I DON'T REALLY WANT
TO BE ALL BY MYSELF.
- MS. MORGENDORFFER,
YOU JOIN HER.
- YES, MA'AM.
ANYTHING FOR THE TEAM, MA'AM.
SO THAT'S YOUR ARCHENEMY.
- DO YOU THINK
IT'S HYPOCRITICAL OF ME
TO ACCEPT FAVORS
FROM A WOMAN I DESPISE?
- DOES SHE HAVE CABLE?
- LET'S FIND OUT.
Thump!
HELP ME!
- OH.
THEY'RE EATING DINNER.
SHOULD I SIT DOWN AND JOIN THEM
OR FAKE A HEADACHE?
I'M NOT FEELING TOO WELL.
I THINK I'LL EAT LATER.
- OH, BOY, CUCKOO GIRL
IS AT IT AGAIN.
- I'M REALLY WORRIED.
SHE'S BEEN ACTING THIS WAY
FOR DAYS.
- IT'S THAT GUY KNUCKLES!
I TELL YOU,
HE'S MESSING WITH HER HEAD!
- QUINN, I THOUGHT YOU WERE
GOING TO SPEND SOME TIME
WITH YOUR SISTER.
- OH, YEAH. HERE.
- WHAT'S THIS?
- WELL, THAT ONE'S
MY TIME SHEET
SHOWING THE HOURS AND LOCATIONS
WHERE I BABYSAT DARIA.
AND THAT OTHER ONE'S A RECEIPT
FOR MY NEW PLEATHER JACKET.
THANKS!
- $300?
- DAD, IT'S VERY DIFFICULT
TO KEEP HER AMUSED.
OH, AND WHEN THE CASH ADVANCE
SHOWS UP ON THE STATEMENT,
DON'T BLAME ME.
THAT'S DARIA'S.
- HOW'D THE MATH TEST GO?
- I PASSED.
- YOU HOPE.
- I KNOW.
- WELL, AREN'T WE CONFIDENT?
IF I HAD
AS MUCH TROUBLE WITH...
YOU GOT A BYE ON THE TEST,
DIDN'T YOU?
- I PROBABLY WOULD'VE GOTTEN
A "C" ANYWAY.
- I CAN'T BELIEVE IT.
- HEY, YOU WATCHED TV
WITH ME
INSTEAD OF GOING TO GYM.
- SO?
- SO THAT WAS ONE PERK
OF BEING ON THE TEAM.
THE MATH TEST WAS ANOTHER.
- YOU DON'T SEE
ANY DIFFERENCE?
- YEAH, THE MATH TEST
WAS A HELL OF A LOT BETTER.
- GIVE ME A BREAK.
- WHAT'S UP
WITH YOUR FRIEND?
- OH, I RUBBED
HER SELF-RIGHTEOUSNESS
THE WRONG WAY.
- I DON'T KNOW WHY YOU HANG OUT
WITH HER ANYWAY.
- WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
- WELL, YOU'RE SORT OF
A SPORTS STAR NOW.
IT'S NOT SO COOL TO BE HANGING
AROUND WITH, YOU KNOW, LOSERS.
- YEAH, YOU'RE RIGHT.
I'VE BEEN SPENDING TOO MUCH TIME
WITH LOSERS.
- I'M GLAD YOU...
SEE IT MY WAY.
SHE HAD A POINT.
WHO AM I TO CRITICIZE HER
WHEN I WAS GETTING
SPILLOVER PERKS?
GOD, I WISH SHE'D JUST QUIT
THAT DAMN TEAM.
IT'S CORRUPTING ME.
I'LL GET IT.
- YO, IT'S ME.
- ACT NATURAL.
YOU'RE NOT HURT.
- WHAT?
- HUH?
- LOOK, I'VE BEEN THINKING,
AND YOU'RE RIGHT.
IT WAS REALLY SCREWED UP OF ME
TO TAKE A BYE ON THAT MATH TEST.
I SHOULD HAVE GONE IN THERE
AND FAILED IT ON MY OWN.
- THEY GAVE YOU THE CHANCE
TO CUT A CORNER.
I CAN'T BLAME YOU
FOR TAKING IT.
- THIS ALL HAPPENED
'CAUSE I WAS TRYING
TO PROVE TO MISS MORRIS
THAT I'M NOT A DEADBEAT.
- AND THAT EVAN GUY
FACTORS IN EXACTLY HOW?
- THAT JERK?
I CAN'T BELIEVE
YOU THOUGHT HE WAS CUTE.
- YEAH, AREN'T I A DOPE?
HEY, DON'T YOU
HAVE PRACTICE NOW?
- YEAH. I QUIT.
- WHAT?
- I QUIT.
I'M AFRAID I MIGHT
COME OUT OF HIGH SCHOOL
KNOWING AS MUCH AS KEVIN.
- YOU CAME OUT
OF KINDERGARTEN
KNOWING MORE THAN KEVIN.
- REMIND ME OF THAT WHEN HE GETS
HIS FOOTBALL SCHOLARSHIP.
UM, I'LL BRING THE SPIKES BACK
TOMORROW, HONEST.
- JANE, I WISH
YOU WOULD CONSIDER
COMING BACK TO THE TEAM.
- YEAH, COME ON,
IT'LL BE COOL.
- PLEASE, PLEASE. COME ON.
- COME ON, JANE.
- THANKS, BUT I STAND
BY MY DECISION.
- JANE, I WISH
YOU WOULD CONSIDER
COMING BACK TO THE TEAM.
- AM I MISSING SOMETHING?
- THE TEAM NEEDS YOU,
AND YOU NEED THE TEAM
IF YOU DON'T WANT TO BE HERE
TAKING MATH AGAIN THIS SUMMER.
- GEE, THAT ALMOST SOUNDS
LIKE BLACKMAIL.
FORTUNATELY, I CAN PULL UP
MY MATH GRADE ON MY OWN.
- THEN I'LL FLUNK YOU.
- WHY DON'T I JUST GO
TO MS. LI
AND EXPOSE THIS WHOLE
GRADE-CHANGING ARRANGEMENT?
- SHE ALREADY KNOWS.
- OKAY, THEN BACK OFF,
OR I'LL TELL THE PTA.
- THEY KNOW TOO.
- CONGRESS?
- YOU'RE BEATEN, LANE.
- HOW ABOUT IF I CALL
THE THREE LOCAL TV STATIONS
AND TELL EACH ONE
THAT THE OTHER TWO
ARE RUNNING THE STORY?
- DAMN.
- I REALLY DON'T GET YOU.
- NO, YOU DON'T.
- WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR
"COME AND GET IT" HEELS?
- HA, HA, DARIA.
I DECIDED I SHOULDN'T WEAR SHOES
THAT KILL ME
JUST BECAUSE THEY MAKE MY LEGS
LOOK HOT.
- WHY, QUINN, HOW MATURE.
- I MEAN, MY LEGS LOOK HOT
NO MATTER WHAT I WEAR.
THEY'D PROBABLY EVEN LOOK GOOD
IN THOSE THINGS YOU HAVE ON.
- I DIDN'T THINK THINGS
COULD GET ANY MORE PATHETIC,
BUT OBVIOUSLY, I WAS WRONG.
- COME ON, LADIES.
YOU'VE GOT A LOT OF WORK
TO MAKE UP.
- TELL ME THAT AT LEAST
I HAVE MY INTEGRITY.
- INTEGRITY IS A FUNNY WORD.
- WELL, THEN AT LEAST TELL ME
I'M MARGINALLY LESS CORRUPT
THAN THE JOCKS.
- YOU REFUSED TO PARTICIPATE
IN A CROOKED SYSTEM
WHERE GOOD GRADES ARE EXCHANGED
FOR ATHLETIC PERFORMANCE,
BUT YOU DIDN'T TRY
TO REFORM THE SYSTEM EITHER.
- FOR FEAR
OF COMPLETE TEENAGE EXILE.
- RIGHT.
SO THE SYSTEM CONTINUES,
YOU HAVEN'T REDEEMED YOURSELF,
AND WE'RE OSTRACIZED ANYWAY.
- COME ON, NOW, STOP TRYING
TO PAINT A ROSY PICTURE.
- YOU KNOW WHAT?
- WHAT?
- THEY REALLY ARE PREPARING US
FOR THE REAL WORLD.
- DARIA, JANE, COME ON.
IT'S TIME FOR SPLITS!
Thump!
OWWW!
- ♪ LA-LA, LA, LA-LA ♪
♪ ♪
♪ LA, LA, LA ♪
♪ ♪
♪ LA, LA, LA ♪
♪ ♪
♪ LA, LA, LA ♪
♪ ♪
♪ LA-LA, LA, LA-LA ♪
♪ ♪
♪ LA-LA, LA, LA-LA ♪