Crimi Clowns (2012–…): Season 1, Episode 2 - Moederskindje - full transcript
As if the banker's foreclosure intensions weren't bad enough, Jos Den Dief loses his patience with the Tersagos' late payments, so Ronny has to sell him his sports-car and van, rather cheap. Still they continue their extravagantly expensive nightlife. Mother causes more worries, compounded by Lou's hopelessly unreliable memory. Their attempt to scare accomplice Jey ended in 'accidental' homicide, dumping the corpse on the highway. Jos recommends a new member for the clowns team, safe expert Mike, a midget with healthy self-esteem and a thick hide.
Sunday evening, November 6, 2011.
Burglary in the Saturn in Wilrijk.
Bullshit with the alarm.
God damn it, Wesley. What are you doing?
Seeing if it works.
Goddamnit.
Sunday night.
Whiskey,
coke and bitches.
females.
Monday morning.
A disagreement with the bank.
Philip DeRuyter. - That's our bank manager.
For Mr Tersago.
That doesn't really work.
A debit of more than 500,000 euros. And no progression.
What is the cause of that? - I spent six months in jail.
Then we will use our mortgage mandate.
Are you going to take my house? Mister Incredible.
You can't reason with someone like you? - Out of my house, dude.
And in the afternoon:
a performance with a twist.
Come on in, we'll start.
One two three four five six seven. thanks.
Madam.
Can my friend take a picture of us?
Goddamnit. - Did they steal your wallet?
Monday morning. The million dollar question:
What the hell happened to the Jay?
That's Jay's.
He just snitched on us. - I'll fuck him up, Dad.
You do nothing. did you hear me?
Ten minutes later, on the bridge of the Peerdsbos.
Above the E19 between Antwerp and Breda, emotions flare up for a while.
Goddamnit. - Jay, I don't like that.
Mama's boy.
Freak.
Run him over, Dad.
Villa Tersago, Brasschaat. Monday afternoon 7 November. Half past five.
You did go to the Heaven? Wesley, you dirty liar.
Lou, I told you that.
You gotta stay off my cell phone, Lou.
Really ? - Yes. And Durga said hi.
And how was it? -Like a garden party hosted by nuns.
What was the best time of your life ?
The beginning of the vtm (tvchannel).
Those were wonderful times. Amazing years.
The Flemish artists - you don't know that, do you, dear -
have been ignored for years by the BRT and the media
and suddenly Flemish was the only thing they talked about.
That damn memory.
When are you going to do something about that? - There's nothing they can do about that.
Not twenty years ago, but maybe now they can.
Five hundred performances a year. And half an hour on TV every week.
How is that possible ? Jay isn't fucking answering.
You can't count on Jay, can you, Lou.
What did you do yesterday after the Heaven?
Dropped Jay off at his car.
That was it? - Yes, Lou.
How was he ?
Jay is Jay, okay, Lou.
Fucked up ? - Not more than usual.
I'm a bit concerned.
Yeah, no shit. Mother Lou.
In the summer eighty full tents in Blankenberge.
How was Jos 'The Thief' ?
That was funny.
You won't make it, Ronny.
What if I pay if off in smaller installments, and on a longer term?
Not interested.
Yeah, then I don't know either.
How about you add that Porsche Cayenne this month?
You owe me 100,000 euros every month and every month you are half short.
You would pay me back in cash.
But you can't get rid of your shit and I have to deal with it afterwards.
What happened ?
Those Green fucks in the city put goddamn flower boxes everywhere.
Drove over someone probably, drunk.
I'm not laughing, Ronny.
Happened to Willy from cafe Derby before.
Kicked out of his bed by the police in the morning.
"May we see your car?" There was still hair and blood in his grill.
Ten years in jail. No probation.
That's on the wrong side.
That's a construction error? - Fool.
How much?
Fifty thousand.
For a used van with a broken bumper?
That bumper will be fixed next week.
I'll give you twenty-five for it, and leave the bumper as it is.
Come on, Jos. That's a Turbo. Tiptronic.
With real fake papers? - Yes.
Thirty.
Are you still looking for an extra clown? - Yes. But one that also works nightshifts.
I think I have one.
Knows every alarm and can open everything.
Security locks, safes, double glass.
cars ?
With a paper clip or a toilet plunger. Within five seconds.
Eastern scum?
Mike from Arendonk.
Do you know what the problem is, Jos?
You will find a good thief everywhere. In any dirty cafe.
But a good clown...
A good clown deceives many parties, honey.
When can he come by? - As soon as possible.
Okay.
Bye, dude. - Jose.
No, that's our price. Has been for over ten years.
And you can't deduct anything? - No, Wim.
They have already booked you in the past and they are willing to pay the same, but...
There is no inflation for clowns, of course. We pay with circus money.
Ronny, that was back when you were top of the line.
Well, now we're in our low days and we still cost the same.
And one more thing, Wim... - Yes ?
That birthday party last week.
In that villa in the Frilinglei?
That was a Dutchhouse as big as the Sportpaleis.
We beat ourselves up in there for 500 euros.
They were eating more caviar than the Tsars.
Those cheese heads pay five times as much without hesitation.
Pay attention to that in the future, Wim. - That won't happen again. Okay, Ronny?
Okay. Bye, Wim. - Ronny.
Mike from Arendonk.
What about him ?
He's here. With regards of Jos 'The Thief'.
Thats quick.
Let him in, huh, Lou. - He is inside.
He is inside ? Is that an invisible man impersonator?
Hello ? Mike ? are you here? - Yes, Ronny.
Goddamnit. Sorry, dude.
Typically Jos 'The Thief' to tell us nothing about that.
Did Jos tell you that we work in shifts?
No problem with nightshifts?
Is he going to film everything here? - Film ?
That's a photocamera, Mike.
That is also a movie camera. - You know him?
Ah yes. I'm saving for that.
And will you be able to carry it all by yourself?
Why should I? I don't think that's safe.
Don't you trust us?
No, but...
What 'but'?
No, it's okay. Sorry.
Mike is learning fast, huh, Lou?
Ready? Start.
God damn it, this is strange.
Anyone wanna see a movie?
Should we bring a chair?
shit.
Lou is having a little trouble.
With ? - With you.
What was the worst time of your life?
Are they off?
Yes. They are off.
What the hell are you asking?
Simply the best time and the worst time of your life.
We weren't going to talk about private life, were we?
And we won't.
I mean, the worst time of your clown life.
It's always private when its negative, just look at those tabloids
What was the worst time of your life?
Sorry, Wesley. I'm not in the mood for this.
The Begijnenstraat.
And what is the Begijnenstraat? - Wesley, please.
Yes, you say it then.
For the non-Antwerp viewer: the Begijnenstraat is the prison.
Am I wrong?
Kiss my balls.
And what were you in there for?
For pedophilia.
And they aren't particularly nice to pedophiles there.
Not even when their victim is 16 years old, but looks 25
and not even if she's a huge slut
Your dad hurt me so much.
No one believes that.
We don't need that kid anyway. We're good being just us
I can do my fire-eater act again. - Come on, Lou, are you bullshitting now?
That case has yet to occur, and you would already burn down another party.
No, Ronny, I have a problem with that Smurf.
Why ? - I think that's a creepy little guy.
He's a fart tall, but when he's on a chair, he's a head taller than me.
Here, honey.
And here.
Thank you. - That was good.
Don't you understand that?
We try something and if it doesn't work out, we just kick him out again.
No, Ronny, I don't to be a part of that.
Lou, you don't have a choice here.
My old man had one friend in prison.
A soul mate. With the same problem as him.
Young women.
My old man had one friend in prison.
A soul mate. With the same problem as him.
Young women.
Everything under control, Patron?
When are you going to take me into consideration, Ronny?
What is that ? - What does it look like?
And our deal?
Our deal is about the food.
This is the booze? - Yes, this is the booze, yes.
I'm spending more on this booze than I can save.
That's easy to solve, right? - Yes ?
Drink less.
Oh, shit.
What is it ? Did you come up with something again? - Your mother called.
Problem in the old man's house. - Those are service flats.
She stabbed two nurses with a fork or something.
Evil exists on many levels.
You have criminals.
You have psychopaths.
And then you have my grandmother.
They don't want her there anymore. - Kiss my balls.
When did that happen ?
Yesterday. I think. - But it could also be the day before yesterday?
Yes... - Or last week?
No, I don't think so.
Yes, I can go there right away.
You shouldn't stress about that. - If I approach her and I tell her:
What did I hear about that fork, Ma?
You know what she will respond? - No idea.
And if I say: those two nurses you stabbed with a fork.
Do you know what she will answer? - Oh, that. That you even still bring it up.
Then tell her they're going to throw her out.
They're going to throw you out, you know? - No problem. I'll just move in with you.
You leave my wife alone,
otherwise I'm going to hurt you real bad.
What are you talking about ?
That you should leave my bitch alone.
Patron, you're kidding, right?
You can mess around with all the other girls,
but you leave her alone, you understand?
So you won't see me here again.
Sounds like a smart decision to me, Frank.
Come on, let's go.
Slut.
Freak.
Come on, we're out of here.
Grab a drink at the Heaven? - No, Lou.
Your shitty memory ruined my night.
Don't feel like it?
No, Lou, I have to see my mother. - To your mother? Is she sick ?
I've seen my old man cry three times.
He had visited her three times.
I didn't think so. Cheap junk.
That's a 'Classic'. - And that's a 'Touch Screen'.
You already have one.
If I have to wait for you...
Here, a few extra pairs of headphones.
They hurt.
That here.
That's a headset.
How is film school, Wesley?
Good.
Aren't you supposed to go today? - No.
You're not slacking off, are you? - No, grandma.
Are you still going to school?
I think I'm always going to love seeing your dad.
But he doesn't deserve it.
Alexander.
Everything for myself and nothing for anyone else.
Have you seen our Amber lately?
No.
Are you still filming?
Have you seen your sister lately?
No.
Is she still dancing in that room in Holland?
I don't bother my sister, grandma.
So, yes. That your dad allowed it to get to this point.
Where did you get that iPod, Mom? - From Rachel.
That you let go of such a good woman.
That I have to take care of myself now.
I am pushed aside.
And the rest is still going on.
Nel asked me this week what you do for a living.
What did you say? - Potato farmer.
Seriously, mom.
Potato farmer, Ronny. What should I have said?
A clown ? A thief ?
Is it interesting outside?
Come on, boy, we're out of here.
Everything okay, dad?
Can you sleep at night?
No.
Do you keep seeing that over and over aswell?
Yes.
Goddamnit.
Freak.
Ride him over, Dad.
Fuck, dude. That's the alarm pistol.
You know that, I never have a real gun on me when we do nightshifts.
That saves us ten years if they would catch us.
What were you planning to do with that, then? - Give him a good scare.
I'm not a murderer, dude. - I hope so for you.
Goddamnit. Jesus. That one doesn't look good.
Where are you supposed to feel that?
And ? Do you hear something?
What do you think?
I don't know, Wes.
Come on, dad.
Okay.
Sjjjt.
What ? - I thought I heard him moan.
Get out.
Do you regret it?
No.
Okay.
Jay is an asshole and you are my dad.
Okay.
What is it ?
No more crying.
To the hookers.
Wow.
And last time you didn't want her?
I hadn't seen her dance then.
Durga.
Fifteen hundred is a lot, isn't it, sweetie.
But she is a feisty girl though. And her mom adds a bottle for good measure
Her mom is an angel.
Good day.
Wes.
Here.
I'll manage on my own.
Burglary in the Saturn in Wilrijk.
Bullshit with the alarm.
God damn it, Wesley. What are you doing?
Seeing if it works.
Goddamnit.
Sunday night.
Whiskey,
coke and bitches.
females.
Monday morning.
A disagreement with the bank.
Philip DeRuyter. - That's our bank manager.
For Mr Tersago.
That doesn't really work.
A debit of more than 500,000 euros. And no progression.
What is the cause of that? - I spent six months in jail.
Then we will use our mortgage mandate.
Are you going to take my house? Mister Incredible.
You can't reason with someone like you? - Out of my house, dude.
And in the afternoon:
a performance with a twist.
Come on in, we'll start.
One two three four five six seven. thanks.
Madam.
Can my friend take a picture of us?
Goddamnit. - Did they steal your wallet?
Monday morning. The million dollar question:
What the hell happened to the Jay?
That's Jay's.
He just snitched on us. - I'll fuck him up, Dad.
You do nothing. did you hear me?
Ten minutes later, on the bridge of the Peerdsbos.
Above the E19 between Antwerp and Breda, emotions flare up for a while.
Goddamnit. - Jay, I don't like that.
Mama's boy.
Freak.
Run him over, Dad.
Villa Tersago, Brasschaat. Monday afternoon 7 November. Half past five.
You did go to the Heaven? Wesley, you dirty liar.
Lou, I told you that.
You gotta stay off my cell phone, Lou.
Really ? - Yes. And Durga said hi.
And how was it? -Like a garden party hosted by nuns.
What was the best time of your life ?
The beginning of the vtm (tvchannel).
Those were wonderful times. Amazing years.
The Flemish artists - you don't know that, do you, dear -
have been ignored for years by the BRT and the media
and suddenly Flemish was the only thing they talked about.
That damn memory.
When are you going to do something about that? - There's nothing they can do about that.
Not twenty years ago, but maybe now they can.
Five hundred performances a year. And half an hour on TV every week.
How is that possible ? Jay isn't fucking answering.
You can't count on Jay, can you, Lou.
What did you do yesterday after the Heaven?
Dropped Jay off at his car.
That was it? - Yes, Lou.
How was he ?
Jay is Jay, okay, Lou.
Fucked up ? - Not more than usual.
I'm a bit concerned.
Yeah, no shit. Mother Lou.
In the summer eighty full tents in Blankenberge.
How was Jos 'The Thief' ?
That was funny.
You won't make it, Ronny.
What if I pay if off in smaller installments, and on a longer term?
Not interested.
Yeah, then I don't know either.
How about you add that Porsche Cayenne this month?
You owe me 100,000 euros every month and every month you are half short.
You would pay me back in cash.
But you can't get rid of your shit and I have to deal with it afterwards.
What happened ?
Those Green fucks in the city put goddamn flower boxes everywhere.
Drove over someone probably, drunk.
I'm not laughing, Ronny.
Happened to Willy from cafe Derby before.
Kicked out of his bed by the police in the morning.
"May we see your car?" There was still hair and blood in his grill.
Ten years in jail. No probation.
That's on the wrong side.
That's a construction error? - Fool.
How much?
Fifty thousand.
For a used van with a broken bumper?
That bumper will be fixed next week.
I'll give you twenty-five for it, and leave the bumper as it is.
Come on, Jos. That's a Turbo. Tiptronic.
With real fake papers? - Yes.
Thirty.
Are you still looking for an extra clown? - Yes. But one that also works nightshifts.
I think I have one.
Knows every alarm and can open everything.
Security locks, safes, double glass.
cars ?
With a paper clip or a toilet plunger. Within five seconds.
Eastern scum?
Mike from Arendonk.
Do you know what the problem is, Jos?
You will find a good thief everywhere. In any dirty cafe.
But a good clown...
A good clown deceives many parties, honey.
When can he come by? - As soon as possible.
Okay.
Bye, dude. - Jose.
No, that's our price. Has been for over ten years.
And you can't deduct anything? - No, Wim.
They have already booked you in the past and they are willing to pay the same, but...
There is no inflation for clowns, of course. We pay with circus money.
Ronny, that was back when you were top of the line.
Well, now we're in our low days and we still cost the same.
And one more thing, Wim... - Yes ?
That birthday party last week.
In that villa in the Frilinglei?
That was a Dutchhouse as big as the Sportpaleis.
We beat ourselves up in there for 500 euros.
They were eating more caviar than the Tsars.
Those cheese heads pay five times as much without hesitation.
Pay attention to that in the future, Wim. - That won't happen again. Okay, Ronny?
Okay. Bye, Wim. - Ronny.
Mike from Arendonk.
What about him ?
He's here. With regards of Jos 'The Thief'.
Thats quick.
Let him in, huh, Lou. - He is inside.
He is inside ? Is that an invisible man impersonator?
Hello ? Mike ? are you here? - Yes, Ronny.
Goddamnit. Sorry, dude.
Typically Jos 'The Thief' to tell us nothing about that.
Did Jos tell you that we work in shifts?
No problem with nightshifts?
Is he going to film everything here? - Film ?
That's a photocamera, Mike.
That is also a movie camera. - You know him?
Ah yes. I'm saving for that.
And will you be able to carry it all by yourself?
Why should I? I don't think that's safe.
Don't you trust us?
No, but...
What 'but'?
No, it's okay. Sorry.
Mike is learning fast, huh, Lou?
Ready? Start.
God damn it, this is strange.
Anyone wanna see a movie?
Should we bring a chair?
shit.
Lou is having a little trouble.
With ? - With you.
What was the worst time of your life?
Are they off?
Yes. They are off.
What the hell are you asking?
Simply the best time and the worst time of your life.
We weren't going to talk about private life, were we?
And we won't.
I mean, the worst time of your clown life.
It's always private when its negative, just look at those tabloids
What was the worst time of your life?
Sorry, Wesley. I'm not in the mood for this.
The Begijnenstraat.
And what is the Begijnenstraat? - Wesley, please.
Yes, you say it then.
For the non-Antwerp viewer: the Begijnenstraat is the prison.
Am I wrong?
Kiss my balls.
And what were you in there for?
For pedophilia.
And they aren't particularly nice to pedophiles there.
Not even when their victim is 16 years old, but looks 25
and not even if she's a huge slut
Your dad hurt me so much.
No one believes that.
We don't need that kid anyway. We're good being just us
I can do my fire-eater act again. - Come on, Lou, are you bullshitting now?
That case has yet to occur, and you would already burn down another party.
No, Ronny, I have a problem with that Smurf.
Why ? - I think that's a creepy little guy.
He's a fart tall, but when he's on a chair, he's a head taller than me.
Here, honey.
And here.
Thank you. - That was good.
Don't you understand that?
We try something and if it doesn't work out, we just kick him out again.
No, Ronny, I don't to be a part of that.
Lou, you don't have a choice here.
My old man had one friend in prison.
A soul mate. With the same problem as him.
Young women.
My old man had one friend in prison.
A soul mate. With the same problem as him.
Young women.
Everything under control, Patron?
When are you going to take me into consideration, Ronny?
What is that ? - What does it look like?
And our deal?
Our deal is about the food.
This is the booze? - Yes, this is the booze, yes.
I'm spending more on this booze than I can save.
That's easy to solve, right? - Yes ?
Drink less.
Oh, shit.
What is it ? Did you come up with something again? - Your mother called.
Problem in the old man's house. - Those are service flats.
She stabbed two nurses with a fork or something.
Evil exists on many levels.
You have criminals.
You have psychopaths.
And then you have my grandmother.
They don't want her there anymore. - Kiss my balls.
When did that happen ?
Yesterday. I think. - But it could also be the day before yesterday?
Yes... - Or last week?
No, I don't think so.
Yes, I can go there right away.
You shouldn't stress about that. - If I approach her and I tell her:
What did I hear about that fork, Ma?
You know what she will respond? - No idea.
And if I say: those two nurses you stabbed with a fork.
Do you know what she will answer? - Oh, that. That you even still bring it up.
Then tell her they're going to throw her out.
They're going to throw you out, you know? - No problem. I'll just move in with you.
You leave my wife alone,
otherwise I'm going to hurt you real bad.
What are you talking about ?
That you should leave my bitch alone.
Patron, you're kidding, right?
You can mess around with all the other girls,
but you leave her alone, you understand?
So you won't see me here again.
Sounds like a smart decision to me, Frank.
Come on, let's go.
Slut.
Freak.
Come on, we're out of here.
Grab a drink at the Heaven? - No, Lou.
Your shitty memory ruined my night.
Don't feel like it?
No, Lou, I have to see my mother. - To your mother? Is she sick ?
I've seen my old man cry three times.
He had visited her three times.
I didn't think so. Cheap junk.
That's a 'Classic'. - And that's a 'Touch Screen'.
You already have one.
If I have to wait for you...
Here, a few extra pairs of headphones.
They hurt.
That here.
That's a headset.
How is film school, Wesley?
Good.
Aren't you supposed to go today? - No.
You're not slacking off, are you? - No, grandma.
Are you still going to school?
I think I'm always going to love seeing your dad.
But he doesn't deserve it.
Alexander.
Everything for myself and nothing for anyone else.
Have you seen our Amber lately?
No.
Are you still filming?
Have you seen your sister lately?
No.
Is she still dancing in that room in Holland?
I don't bother my sister, grandma.
So, yes. That your dad allowed it to get to this point.
Where did you get that iPod, Mom? - From Rachel.
That you let go of such a good woman.
That I have to take care of myself now.
I am pushed aside.
And the rest is still going on.
Nel asked me this week what you do for a living.
What did you say? - Potato farmer.
Seriously, mom.
Potato farmer, Ronny. What should I have said?
A clown ? A thief ?
Is it interesting outside?
Come on, boy, we're out of here.
Everything okay, dad?
Can you sleep at night?
No.
Do you keep seeing that over and over aswell?
Yes.
Goddamnit.
Freak.
Ride him over, Dad.
Fuck, dude. That's the alarm pistol.
You know that, I never have a real gun on me when we do nightshifts.
That saves us ten years if they would catch us.
What were you planning to do with that, then? - Give him a good scare.
I'm not a murderer, dude. - I hope so for you.
Goddamnit. Jesus. That one doesn't look good.
Where are you supposed to feel that?
And ? Do you hear something?
What do you think?
I don't know, Wes.
Come on, dad.
Okay.
Sjjjt.
What ? - I thought I heard him moan.
Get out.
Do you regret it?
No.
Okay.
Jay is an asshole and you are my dad.
Okay.
What is it ?
No more crying.
To the hookers.
Wow.
And last time you didn't want her?
I hadn't seen her dance then.
Durga.
Fifteen hundred is a lot, isn't it, sweetie.
But she is a feisty girl though. And her mom adds a bottle for good measure
Her mom is an angel.
Good day.
Wes.
Here.
I'll manage on my own.