Crazy Fun Park (2023–…): Season 1, Episode 7 - Episode #1.7 - full transcript

Oh, she'll kill
me! We HAVE to get it.

We? I told you to take it off.

Well, you just have all
the answers, don't cha?

Be chill.

I wish she was my aunty.

She's so... Deadly?

Yeah, I know.

Hey, I been looking for
you guys everywhere!

You know how to
make a person worry.

OK, who died?

Did one of these
gubs say something?



Worse.

Nimrod!

What did I say?!

I'm sorry, Aunty!

What did I say?!

I'll replace it, I promise.

What... did... I... say?

To take extra special care
of it 'cause of its history.

And what is its history?

It was my great-uncle's.

Who won every game
because of that cap.

And put Asphodel
on the map with a bat.

Exactly.

And that honour was
passed down to YOU.



You can't just replace it!

When are you gonna learn
some responsibility, Nimrod?!

Ah, you'd lose your head
if it wasn't attached!

Here.

I'll take care of it, as usual.

She took it better
than I thought.

Look out! Coming
through! Hey! Watch it!

No rules on stolen land.

No.

Scuse me?

Shouldn't have had the cap on.

Do you know who my nephew is?

Everybody knows The Rod.

Exactly.

Nephew of Lucky Wattle.

Put Asphodel on
the map with a bat!

He's not above park policy.

Fine.

I'll do it myself.

Whoo! Yeah! What?

Nimrod, go for it!

What's that?

What did you do?

I'm not... not doing anything.

Nimrod!
Get out of there!

♪ La-la-la-la! ♪

Whackball Wednesday.

Yeah! That's it,
make a run for it!

And he is out!

Don't you think it's
a little coincidental?

Someone attacks the
guy who built this park

the same night you all go
out into the real world.

Are you even listening?

Sorry. Wasn't everyone
at the cemetery?

I don't know. Were they?

And McPhail is up! Will she hit
her first home run in 20 years?!

Statistics say...

..no!

She doesn't look
happy to be here.

But happiness has
never been something

we associate with Destinee.

Stressed? No, I'm...

He's got nowhere to be and
he loves to make 'em sweat.

Yeah.

I spent all day working on my
folio for the interview tomorrow.

What about Mapplethorpe?

What about him?

The city's a long way away.

No way you can just swing
by whenever you want.

How's he gonna take that?

Obviously he'll want
what's best for me.

We're like... brothers.

Family.

Which is why he'd want to know
if you're gonna abandon him.

What, hold up. I... I'm
not abandoning anyone.

There's always next time!

Who knows if I'll even get in?

All I know is it hurts most
when family lets you down.

Be honest.

Oi! Youse playing or what?

And look out, boppers! Nimrod
is stepping onto the field.

Will he put the fun
back in funeral?

Nimrod invented the
game of whackball

after his tragic but
amusing decapitation, 1984.

He may be Remus's
right-hand man,

but on the whackball field there's
no such thing as friendship.

Ohh...

Mm...

Mine!

Mine! Mine, mine, mine!
I've got it, I've got it!

Why aren't you running?
I need a favour.

If this is about getting
more salt and vinegars,

I told you - I'm broke.

I need you to do
something for me.

Like you did for
Gonzo and Xander.

I saw something on Halloween.

Winnie?

Come on.

Time for bed. Mm.

It's her heart.

I think she's, like,
disintegrating or something

because she thinks
I've forgotten her.

Nimrod, I don't think
that's how it works.

Why not? I'm dead - us
talking shouldn't work, right?

All you'd have to do is just
bring her for one night.

Just so I can let her know
that I'm still thinking of her.

Can't we just pass her a note?

If I bring a living adult to
the park, Remus will flip.

I'll take care of him.

Come on.

And I'll tell you what
else I saw on Halloween.

What do you mean?

Bring my aunty
and I'll tell you.

Excuse
me, young man.

Oh!

What was that for?!
It's still early.

Yeah, I... need to
catch up on my sleep

so Ms Wiest doesn't
give me another det'.

Big day tomorrow or something?

No, it... Just usual.

Friends for another day?

More than friends.

We're brothers.

Aren't we?

Yeah.

Course.

Smell ya later.

Ohh!

Mum?!

It said 11:00 on the board.

The board was wrong, wasn't it?

Just breathe, OK?

Just breathe... Mum.

I'm so sorry.

Five minutes late
is understandable.

20 minutes is disrespectful.

I agree.

You're 40 minutes late.

Yeah, I know. And I'm sorry. There
was a problem with my alarm...

There's an
opportunity next year.

What? No, no,
please. I need this.

Alright.

Thank you.

My folio.

It... It must... Why do
you want to come here?

This school has trained some of the
best artists I the world, and...

..I want that to happen to me.

You want what to happen to you?

I want to be a good artist.

What's a good artist?

You know, someone who can
draw and paint properly

so that everyone likes it.

The person who painted this building
knows how to paint properly.

And everyone likes it.

Is that what you want?

Um...

No.

I think a good artist
is an honest one,

someone who draws on
their unique perspective.

Absolutely.

So...

..what's YOURS?

Sorry, um... this question wasn't
in the application outline.

Chester... Can I
just get my folio...

..are you being honest with
yourself or just making excuses?

Dishonesty leads to sabotage,

like not bringing a folio
to an important interview.

Do you know who our biggest
saboteurs usually are?

Yeah, I think I do.

Chester, you have all
the time in the world.

But right now this world
you're just not ready for.

Welcome to the
residents of Koorburra House.

It's a wonderful day.

There is nothing to worry about.

Everything is fine.

That's right.

Nuh-uh-uh! Visiting
times are finito.

I'm not visiting.

Um... I'm here to pick
up some paperwork.

I'm Mr Nakata's daughter.

O-M-G. We love Mr
Nakata around here.

Well, not seeing him 'cause that
means someone's, you know, D-I-E-D.

Shh!

Don't say the D
word around here.

It really upsets the residents
'cause, you know... argh.

Thank you. No, thank you!

Oh, and these manners!

OK. OK!

Lemme help. What's her name?

Um... Rose...

..Stapler.

Rose Stapler? Yep.

N-G-L, that sounds made-up.

You're not winding me up for some
classic old-people hijinks, are you?

Kidding,
sis!

Let me find it.

Rose Stapler? Mm-hm.

Rose... Papler!

♪ RW Stapler! ♪

Row, row your boat!

Get away from it,
Maude! Give it to me...

Here, we're watching Dance
Academy. You're a bully.

Here, we gotta
support our future.

Excuse me, is your name Winnie?

If you've come to roll me,
you're barking up the wrong tree.

What? No. Um...

Look, this is going to sound weird,
but someone wants to see you.

Are you with the Supreme Bikies?

No.

What, the Asphodel Outlaws?

No.

Oh, not the Lipstick Posse?!

Look, I can't say the name

because I read online that
it's culturally wrong to do so,

and I don't want to
offend you because he's...

..D-E-A-D.

Oh, you internet generation

and your incessant need
to always be right.

Mix that with a sprinkle of
settler-guilt and what have you got?

Annoying. You're annoying me.

There is no way that you
could offend me.

No name - no game.

Nimrod.

What you just said is
offensive across all cultures!

You're sick!

I'm sorry, but I promise
it'll all make sense.

I just need you to come with me.

And up
steps the newest recruit.

Rumours say he may be the best
batter since Lucky Wattle.

Well, just remember, I've got
knuckle-dusters in my purse.

Bus should be here
in 10 minutes.

What?! No, no, no!

They've got cameras
on them. Keep pushing!

Hey, where are we going, anyway?

Crazy Fun Park?!

I want answers, and
I need them now!

I might be old but I've
still got some fight in me!

Aunty?

Nimrod?

Hey, Aunty.

Hey...

..you're cold.

You want to put a jumper
on. You're gonna get sick.

No, Aunty, I'm just...

..dead.

I'll show you dead.

Why'd you have to go
and drop this cap for?!

I'm sorry, Aunty.

Better do a pronoun round.

I'm Winnie.

She-her.

Siobhan. She-slash-her.

I'm the popular one.

I'll be the judge of that.

Mm!

Nimrod, remember she's not well.

You don't want to scare her
or put her under any pressure.

I got her.

And?

And? We had a deal.

What did you see on Halloween?

I'll tell you later.

Come on, Aunty. I'll
give you a tour.

Yeah, sorry about the others.

They can be
really... Mm, womba?

What family isn't
womba?

Where are we?

This is my home.

It wasn't much when I first woke
up, but I've collected stuff.

And I know it's still
not much, but it's mine.

Hey, Nimrod!

38 years and you're
still acting shame.

Come on now. Mad.

Let me show you the best bit.

Um... And...

I've been holding
onto this for you.

Ohh!

What do you think?

Ohh!

Nimrod... it's...

I'm sorry.

This was a bad
idea. Hey, shut it.

I'm just...

I'm just SO proud of you.

And you know who
else would be proud?

What do you mean she's missing?

Yeah.

It's not good when they
escape, is it, babes?

You just... You can't
trust the elderly.

She'll be all good, though.

Rose Stapler can
look after herself.

Rose Stapler?

Her name is Winnie.

I'll find her myself.

Hey, Aunty, try this.

Oh, no, thanks.

Hey, straws are cancelled.

What do you mean cancelled?

Well, it's what the
kids say these days.

They love to get rid of things.

Like, take mullets.

They used to be
popular, got cancelled,

and now they're
uncancelled.

What about acrylic nails?
Are they cancelled?

OK, Siobhan, 'lax it up.

So, Nautical's been
taking care of you?

Yeah. Yeah, his whole life.

Yeah, after the...

After what happened, sort
of started living with me.

I mean, you remember what
his family life was like, eh?

And he begged me not to
go to the home, but...

..well, I wanted it for myself.

I couldn't put that on him...

..'cause...

..well...

..I'm not well.

My heart's given
up a little bit.

Aunty?

Hey, I've had a good life.
Don't you worry about that.

Ohh!

Ooh, there's one thing
I wish for, though.

♪ Got me feeling like
Damn, that Miyalk got action

♪ Walking on the beat
with the fashion... ♪

Nimrod's stirrin'! He's
stirrin'! Loves to stir the pot!

♪ Bad boy, black magic... ♪

Run! Run! Run! Whoo!

♪ Walking with a bounce... ♪

Are you cold?

♪ Now you already know

♪ Who the man?!
♪ You the man! ♪

Not anymore, bub.

Here. Your turn.

No, YOUR turn!

Hey!

Don't go easy on me
just 'cause you're dead.

Careful what you wish for.

Argh!

Oh!

Ohh! Ow.

Um... Rude, Winnie!

Mine!

Mine! Mine! Mine!
Mine! Mine! Mine!

Why did you take this?

I didn't think it was
important. What's your problem?

MY problem?

What's YOUR problem?

You can't do
anything without me.

You said it yourself.

"I can't make it without
you, Mapplethorpe."

Oh, jeez, such a
good impression.

I'm Team Chester.

Maybe because you sabotage me every
time I try to do something alone.

Moi sabotage you?

Trust me, my little
English muffin,

you're doing a great job
of that all on your own.

Throw a punch. Throw a punch.

Be honest! For once!

Do you even want to go

or are you just doing it
because people tell you to?

Guys! Not in front of my aunty.

See, you're just jealous.

You're just jealous because
I still have a life.

Ugh! Deadphobic.

Yeah, he is cancelled.

Alright, alright.

Look, I don't care
what's going on,

but YOU better hug your
dead friend right now.

Hug your dead friend!

Oh, go on! Hug your dead friend!

He's no friend of mine.

You're dead to me.

Well, if you're
fighting like that,

I guess you're family after all.

Bring it in, you mob!

And if I hear that you kids are
still fighting after I'm gone

I'm gonna wheel myself back here

and you'll all be
properly dead, alright?

Youse have only got each other.

So, stick together.

And you might wanna
lay off that stuff.

It's not good for ya.

You better watch
that little jarjum.

You know you don't have to go.

Oh, bub.

Please.

I was thinking, if you died
here, you could stay with me.

You can for real.

I'd make your room up and that.

Or... Or you can have MY heart.

Just because mine's broken...

..doesn't mean it's not working.

This isn't my place.

I need to go home.

Back to our country.

And one day so will you.

And I'll be waiting.

When you're ready.

I'm sorry.

What are YOU sorry for?

For making you sad
because I died.

Hey, I need you to
look at me, Nimrod.

I'm sorry you've had to
carry this all these years.

It was never your job
to worry about me.

That was MINE.

I could never have kids...

..so, do you know how
deadly, and I mean, deadly,

it was to be your mum?

You've got your
head on straight,

you've built yourself up...

..you've got friends
who love you...

..respect.

You don't EVER have to be sorry.

I need to go.

And put a jumper on! It's cold!

Aunty. What on...

Why? Huh?

We've been looking
for you everywhere!

Hey, calm your farm, Nautical!

Just laying some
old ghosts to rest.

Ohh!

Thanks.

Oh...

♪ These are the colours

♪ I associate

♪ With my head

♪ I'm trying real hard

♪ To make friends
with my feelings

♪ Assign them a colour

♪ So I don't fear them

♪ And there's no black or white

♪ But a whole lotta grey

♪ I hope that tomorrow

♪ Won't feel like today... ♪

♪ Anyway

♪ Brown and

♪ Purple hues... ♪

I'm sorry for
ruining your night.

It's all good, bro.

♪ I'm feelin' those too

He'll be back.

If he's truly family.

Family always come
together in the end.

♪ But I'm not sure I want to get

♪ To know them at all... ♪

Aunty.

Aunty?

Aunty.

Winnie?

Captions by Red Bee Media

Copyright Australian
Broadcasting Corporation