Coach (1989–1997): Season 3, Episode 7 - The Break-Up - full transcript
Hayden's plans for the future don't include Christine.
FEMALE NARRATOR: Coach is
filmed before a studio audience.
HAYDEN: I'm disgusted!
Do you hear me? I'm sick!
That's the poorest half of football
I've seen in all my years of coaching!
And I've seen some crummy
football, believe you me.
What the hell is
the matter with you?
This team looks to you for
leadership, for inspiration!
You don't deserve
to wear that uniform!
My face isn't down
there by your shoes!
Look at me when
I'm talking to you!
You're supposed to be
helping me out there!
Let's get your head in the ball game and
start doing something to help us win!
(SHOUTING) Do your job,
for God's sake!
Hey, Luth.
Hey, Daub.
Guess what?
What?
You won the
football pool!
You're kidding.
You picked nine
out of thirteen games.
All right!
How much did I win?
$200.
200 bucks?
I can't believe it!
All my life I've dreamed of winning
$200, and now that day is here!
Don't forget, the winner
of the pool has to buy
beer for everybody at The Touchdown
Club, tonight at Monday Night Football.
That's right,
I won't get my free beer tonight.
Hi, guys.
Hey, kids.
Is my dad here?
No, he hasn't come in yet.
What's up?
Stuart and I are working with the Green
People to help save the rain forests.
We were wondering if either of you
would like to make a contribution.
I'll bet Luther would.
He just won 200 bucks
in the football pool.
Luther,
that's great!
Would you like to
make a contribution?
Huh?
We wouldn't normally expect
you to give that much,
but since you did
just win $200,
it's kind of like
found money, right?
Yeah, but it's found money I've
been looking for all my life.
If you don't give it
to the Green People,
what are you going
to do with it?
Buy beer.
I was going to give it
to the thirsty people.
Luther, I know
this is a lot to ask,
but if we don't start
replanting the rain forests,
twenty years from now,
people on this planet won't be able to breathe.
Yeah, but...
You, Luther Van Dam,
could stop this from happening.
One person can
make a difference.
Thanks, Luther.
I'm breathing
easier already.
Luther, thank you
and bless you.
That was a noble thing
you did there, Luth.
Oh yeah, well,
thanks a lot, Dauber.
The next time I win anything,
you wanna just shut up?
HAYDEN: Hey, guys.
Hey, Coach.
What've you got on
your shirt there?
Some stupid button Kelly
and Stuart gave me yesterday
for giving 50 bucks
to the little Green People.
You know, I figure
I got off cheap.
Some idiots are
giving as much as 200.
Oh, hey,
that reminds me.
Guess who won
the football pool?
Who?
Luther.
He's buying us all beer
tonight at The Touchdown Club.
He's not going to buy me beer.
I'm not going to be there.
What are you
talking about?
Well, Christine's stupid
college roommate, Beverly,
and her equally
stupid husband, Warren,
are visiting her in
Minneapolis for the night.
And I got to go up there
and eat fish with them.
Well, how come
you have to be there?
Because Christine says I
never meet any of her friends,
and then when she brought it up over the
weekend, we had this great big fight.
So, instead of doing the thing
that I look forward to all week,
which is the thing that God
put me on this planet to do,
which is to watch Monday Night Football
at The Touchdown Club with my friends,
I have to drive all the way
up to stupid Minneapolis
and have dinner with
Beverly and Warren,
the two antique dealers
from Buffalo.
How come you
have to eat fish?
I can't believe you're going
to miss Monday Night Football
to spend the evening
with antique dealers.
You know, this is going to be
the dullest evening I've spent
since Christine dragged me
to that Meryl Streep movie.
Well, I'll tell you
something, guys,
relationships
are work.
I mean, don't get me wrong,
women are great.
They're affectionate,
they're supportive,
they love you when
nobody else does.
They build you up
when you're feeling down.
But let me tell you
something, they're all alike.
They give, give, give, but sooner or
later, they all want something back.
Hey, Christine.
Oh, there you are.
I was beginning to
wonder where you were.
Yeah, I was driving the whole way behind a
tanker, hoping it would explode.
Hayden.
So where are
the Glimmer Twins?
They are in the guest room,
and they can probably hear you.
Now, you behave
yourself tonight.
Yeah, all right,
I'll behave.
I'll act interested in
every dull thing they say.
Hey, Christine,
I just want to know something,
is there a chance I can watch just
two minutes of the game tonight, huh?
No.
Why not?
Well, I can have dinner,
and then say I've got a case of hurricane gut,
and disappear
into the bedroom.
Nobody will know.
Hayden, there's going
to be no football tonight.
I told you, these are two
of my very dearest friends,
they are only staying
with me for one night,
and I want that one
night to be perfect.
Besides, you're going to
love Warren and Beverly.
Well, you must be
the famous Hayden Fox.
And you must be
the world-famous Warren.
Hayden Fox,
Warren Graustark.
It's a great pleasure
to meet you.
Oh, Beyv, shake a leg,
Hayden's here.
Is this him?
Hayden, I would like you to meet one of
my oldest and dearest friends, Beverly.
Beverly, Hayden Fox.
I can't tell you how excited
we are to finally meet you.
We've been trying for
four years to pin you down.
Well, you stuck
me tonight.
Well, shall we
all sit down?
Oh, yeah.
Do the two of you still
enjoy a kir before dinner?
Oh, she remembered!
Oh, Warren, be a doll and go
get Christine's gift. Oh, yes.
Oh, you guys,
you didn't have to bring me a gift.
Oh, it's just a trifle,
something we picked up in Bath.
Where?
England.
Oh.
Bev and I saw this,
and it just screamed "Christine."
What is it,
a parrot?
Oh, he's joking.
Well...
Oh, you guys!
Oh, I love it!
A candle box.
Now, do you
really love it?
Oh, it's absolutely
exquisite, Hayden, look.
Yeah, oh yeah, boy.
It's 17th century.
You know there's a rather
amusing story that goes with it.
You'll love this.
Bev and I were tooling down this
picture-postcard country lane,
just outside Bath.
And it was an
absolutely glorious day.
The heather was in bloom and the
aroma was absolutely narcotic.
Anyway, we were
driving along,
and even though we've driven
through England a hundred times,
I must have lost
myself in the moment
because suddenly I forgot I was
supposed to be driving on the left,
and instead I found myself driving
on the right side of the road.
Can you imagine?
Fortunately, and here's what makes
the story funny rather than tragic,
nothing happened.
What makes it
a story?
Well, when I realized
what I'd done, I screamed.
Bev grabbed the wheel,
and we spun off the road
right smack into the
front yard of a potter.
As luck would have it,
he was home,
and seeing we were shaken,
invited us in for a cup of tea.
He served it in cups
he'd made himself.
Oh.
Well, one thing
led to another,
and as we were chatting,
we told him we were antique dealers
and he in turn mentioned about a cousin he
had, who lived nearby,
who had several quite
distinctive antique candle boxes.
You know, now that
I think about it,
we really should tell them how we
ended up in Bath in the first place.
See, the whole story really
begins a year earlier in Scotland.
At any rate,
we hopped on a plane in Cairo
and flew to London
as fast as we could,
where we rented a car and drove
like the dickens to... Where else?
WARREN AND BEVERLY: Bath!
You know, despite all the trouble
and the thousands of miles of travel,
it was worth it just to
have that story to tell.
I will treasure the gift all the
more just knowing its history.
Shall we all move to the living
room and I'll get us some coffee?
Oh, boy.
Oh, Hayden, you really should
hear Warren's hysterical story
about the time that we
met the cobbler in Turin.
Uh, no,
I shouldn't.
I think I've got internal bleeding
from laughing at that Bath story.
Besides, I'm tired
of being "on."
You know what I've really
been dying to do all evening
is get Hayden
to talk about football.
Football?
Oh, yes,
I'm quite the fanatic.
You know, you and your
Screaming Eagles
have really been through
some trying times this year.
You follow Minnesota State?
I follow everyone.
I've got to believe that if Bo Whitley
comes back for his senior year,
you're going to have an
outstanding team next season.
Oh man, I've got to tell you, Warren,
I'm looking forward to next season.
We just recruited this great wide
receiver, Billy Cardell.
And I've been looking at this incredible
running back from South Dakota.
Really?
I'm anxious to get him.
Oh, I should say...
Hayden, you're not talking
football, are you?
Huh? Warren started it.
Hayden's right,
I'm the guilty party.
But if he's going to pry
antique stories out of me,
I'm going to pry a few gridiron
war stories out of him.
So, it sounds to me like you could
have a great season next year.
Oh, could be my
best season ever.
Do you ever think of moving
on to a bigger school?
Gee, I don't know,
I wouldn't mind getting an offer.
Oh, tell us, Hayden,
if you had a crystal ball,
where would you like
to be five years from now?
Oh, jeez, I don't know.
I tell my players not to look ahead.
Oh, now, come on,
we all have dreams of where
we'd like to be someday.
I have the Graustark dream.
It's for Beverly and me to buy
a little country home in Vermont
and spend the rest of our days writing
about all the places we've been,
and all the nutty things
that have happened to us.
(COUGHS)
So, come on, tell us,
what's the Hayden Fox dream?
Now, well, it doesn't compare
with you two vagabonds, but
I guess if I had
to say it out loud,
what I'd really love to do is take
over a major program somewhere
you know, where the recruiting
is a lot easier and then...
Well, I mean,
after a few years there,
assuming that I
had some success,
man, I would love
a shot at the pros.
(WARREN AND BEVERLY EXCLAIM)
But wouldn't it be hard picking up,
moving from city to city all the time?
Well, you know, that kind of goes
with the territory, I mean...
That's why I don't like to put down
too many roots or anything, but...
Of course, I wouldn't forget
all the people, you know,
helped me in the lean
years and everything...
I'd want to take
them with me.
I'd insist on taking along
my two top assistant coaches.
And then, you know,
when it's time to hang it up,
I don't know, I'd like to
settle on a little plot of land
I bought just outside of Spokane,
Washington, in God's country.
Yeah, and then just retire
there with all my awards.
Just going camping,
hunting and fishing,
watching
Monday Night Football.
Not another soul
around for 20 miles.
That's it?
Yeah.
Hey, Christine, I know
I promised I wouldn't do this,
but, I mean, since Warren's
such a big football fan,
would it be okay if we went in
your bedroom and watched TV?
The last two minutes
of the game?
Come on, Warren!
Warren, let's go.
This is none
of my business,
but we've known each other
along time, so I have to ask.
Hayden didn't mention
you in any of his plans.
I thought
you two were more
serious than that.
So did I.
HAYDEN: Whoa, what a catch!
Oh, my God!
WARREN: It's like he
had glue on his hands.
Can you believe Montana?
Christine, it was unbelievable,
you should have seen it.
I heard it.
Where's Beverly?
Did she...
Oh, I finally told her
to go to bed.
Jeez, I didn't realize
it was that late.
Well, I hate to see
this night end,
but we have an early flight
to Hong Kong tomorrow.
Hey listen, you have
a great trip, huh?
And if you're ever in
Minneapolis, you give me a call,
and we'll go to a game and maybe
throw back a couple of kirs together.
I'd love that.
Oh, Christine,
thank you for a wonderful day.
It's always a joy
to see you again.
Oh, it's great
to see you, Warren.
And I'll see you
again in the morning.
Right-o.
Ta.
HAYDEN: Ta.
Can I help you with that?
No, that's okay.
I got it.
I've got to admit.
You were right-o, and I was wrong-o.
Boy, I had a great
time tonight.
I'm glad you
thought so.
Yeah, I mean it.
Okay, I mean, that antique stuff was
death, but I love Warren.
Well, Hayden, it's almost midnight,
don't you think you'd better get going?
Going?
Going where?
Well, it's a work night.
You've got a long drive back to your cabin.
Is there something wrong?
Yeah, yeah.
Something very wrong,
but I don't think
I want to talk about it.
You said it was okay
if we watched the game.
This isn't about the game.
And really,
the more I think about it,
the more I know
I don't want to talk about it.
Jeez, Christine,
you always want to talk about it.
Hey, I mean, this might be so bad,
I might even want to talk about it.
Good night, Hayden.
What's going on here?
Wait a minute, honey,
there's never been anything so bad that
you couldn't at least tell me what it was.
You really
don't know, do you?
Christine,
you've known me for four years.
I never know.
Let me just ask
you one question.
When Warren was asking you
tonight about your five-year plan,
and you were talking about your dreams
of going off to a bigger school,
going off to the pros
retiring in Spokane,
was that really
what you want?
Well, Christine, see,
I feel like I'm walking on a minefield here
and I don't know why.
I don't even know
where you're going.
Well, apparently,
I'm not going to Spokane,
or any of the other cities
you plan on moving to.
Is that what this is about?
You felt left out of my plans?
I just want to know one thing.
In this fantasy you have of retiring in Spokane
and camping, fishing and
watching Monday Night Football,
am I dead or something?
Or did I even
make it that far?
No... Of course
you'd be there.
I mean, just because I didn't mention
you, doesn't mean you wouldn't be there.
You'd be there.
You'd be there.
How will I be there?
Let's say you move to,
I don't know, Los Angeles,
would I be moving
to Los Angeles, too?
Or would I fly out on the weekends?
Would I become your pen pal?
How exactly did you
see that working out?
Well, it would work out just like we've
always talked about it working out.
You'd do what's
best for you.
I mean, it's your life.
It's my life?
Gee, somehow I was under the
impression this had become our life.
Okay, I'm sorry,
our life.
Would someone please tell me why suddenly
our life seems to be in so much trouble?
I mean, I thought
we were doing great.
Well, I don't think we're doing
great, I think we're doing lousy.
(SIGHS)
My God, Hayden, if somebody
had asked me my five-year plan,
I don't know what
I would have said for sure,
but I know you would have
been the biggest part of it.
It was painfully obvious that I
am not the biggest part of yours.
I'm not even in yours.
That's just because
I forgot to mention you.
Well, Warren sure didn't forget to
mention Beverly in his five-year plan!
Shh, Christine, you don't want
Beverly and Warren to hear us.
I don't give a damn
who hears us!
(TOILET FLUSHING)
WARREN: Good night.
Christine, I can't believe you're this
upset because I forgot to mention your name.
I'm upset because four years
into this relationship,
we still have no idea
where we're headed!
I mean, are we planning to spend the
rest of our lives together or not?
Spend the rest of our lives together?
What are you talking about? Are you...
Are you talking
about marriage?
Well,
I guess,
yeah.
Yeah.
That's exactly what
I'm talking about.
Eventually.
I... I don't mean I want
to get married tonight.
I don't even know if I want to get married
six months from now, or a year from now.
But you can't be so thick as to think
that we can just keep going on like this.
Hey, wait a minute,
before you go calling anybody thick.
Now, I recall four years ago that we
agreed this was a great relationship
because we both
wanted the same things.
We both had careers
that mattered to us.
Neither of us wanted a commitment.
Neither of us had the time.
All we wanted was a relationship
that fit into those rules.
Now if the rules have changed,
nobody told me.
How can you not see
things have changed?
I may still be a convenience for
you, Hayden,
but you're not
a convenience for me.
I am deeply, hopelessly,
probably foolishly
in love with you.
Well, I love you, too.
Yeah, right.
I do.
Then how come when you look down the
road, I'm not there?
But you are there!
When Warren asked
me that tonight,
I was talking about
my job future,
I wasn't thinking
about other people.
You thought about
Luther and Dauber.
That's because I was
talking about football!
If he asked me
about my love life,
I would have
thought about you.
I sure as hell wouldn't have
thought about Luther and Dauber!
Hayden, we're just
spinning our wheels here.
I---
I don't want to come off as a woman
who's just desperate to get married,
because that is not
what this is about.
If all I wanted to
do was get married,
I could have done
that 20 years ago.
But I don't want to spend the
rest of my life dating you.
Yeah, and you know that I
have a problem with marriage.
I don't want the same thing to happen to
you and me that happened to me and Beth.
I am not Beth!
But I am
still Hayden!
And that's the part of the
equation that doesn't work!
I mean, Christine, come on,
it's not like I haven't thought about this before.
I've thought
about it a lot.
Honey, if you and I were to get
married, you'd just end up hating me.
And I know you think you
wouldn't, but you would.
You'd end up resenting all the late
nights, all the recruiting trips,
all the moving around.
And that's the part of the
package that comes with me.
Oh, Christine, I can't stand
the thought of you hating me.
That's why I don't...
That's why I'm against marriage.
Not because
I don't love you.
Because I don't
want to lose you.
Hayden, if you don't have any
more faith in me than that,
you've already lost me.
I thought
these last four years
were about two people
who were terrified
of commitment,
finally finding the one
person they felt safe with.
Now, if you're telling
me that that isn't true,
then I have really
been a fool.
Tell me I haven't
been a fool.
Christine, I can't
get married again.
Then we haven't
got a future.
And every second
we pretend we do is
just a lie.
What are you saying?
I'm saying
it's over.
I'm sorry, but I really
can't talk anymore.
(DOOR CLOSING)
filmed before a studio audience.
HAYDEN: I'm disgusted!
Do you hear me? I'm sick!
That's the poorest half of football
I've seen in all my years of coaching!
And I've seen some crummy
football, believe you me.
What the hell is
the matter with you?
This team looks to you for
leadership, for inspiration!
You don't deserve
to wear that uniform!
My face isn't down
there by your shoes!
Look at me when
I'm talking to you!
You're supposed to be
helping me out there!
Let's get your head in the ball game and
start doing something to help us win!
(SHOUTING) Do your job,
for God's sake!
Hey, Luth.
Hey, Daub.
Guess what?
What?
You won the
football pool!
You're kidding.
You picked nine
out of thirteen games.
All right!
How much did I win?
$200.
200 bucks?
I can't believe it!
All my life I've dreamed of winning
$200, and now that day is here!
Don't forget, the winner
of the pool has to buy
beer for everybody at The Touchdown
Club, tonight at Monday Night Football.
That's right,
I won't get my free beer tonight.
Hi, guys.
Hey, kids.
Is my dad here?
No, he hasn't come in yet.
What's up?
Stuart and I are working with the Green
People to help save the rain forests.
We were wondering if either of you
would like to make a contribution.
I'll bet Luther would.
He just won 200 bucks
in the football pool.
Luther,
that's great!
Would you like to
make a contribution?
Huh?
We wouldn't normally expect
you to give that much,
but since you did
just win $200,
it's kind of like
found money, right?
Yeah, but it's found money I've
been looking for all my life.
If you don't give it
to the Green People,
what are you going
to do with it?
Buy beer.
I was going to give it
to the thirsty people.
Luther, I know
this is a lot to ask,
but if we don't start
replanting the rain forests,
twenty years from now,
people on this planet won't be able to breathe.
Yeah, but...
You, Luther Van Dam,
could stop this from happening.
One person can
make a difference.
Thanks, Luther.
I'm breathing
easier already.
Luther, thank you
and bless you.
That was a noble thing
you did there, Luth.
Oh yeah, well,
thanks a lot, Dauber.
The next time I win anything,
you wanna just shut up?
HAYDEN: Hey, guys.
Hey, Coach.
What've you got on
your shirt there?
Some stupid button Kelly
and Stuart gave me yesterday
for giving 50 bucks
to the little Green People.
You know, I figure
I got off cheap.
Some idiots are
giving as much as 200.
Oh, hey,
that reminds me.
Guess who won
the football pool?
Who?
Luther.
He's buying us all beer
tonight at The Touchdown Club.
He's not going to buy me beer.
I'm not going to be there.
What are you
talking about?
Well, Christine's stupid
college roommate, Beverly,
and her equally
stupid husband, Warren,
are visiting her in
Minneapolis for the night.
And I got to go up there
and eat fish with them.
Well, how come
you have to be there?
Because Christine says I
never meet any of her friends,
and then when she brought it up over the
weekend, we had this great big fight.
So, instead of doing the thing
that I look forward to all week,
which is the thing that God
put me on this planet to do,
which is to watch Monday Night Football
at The Touchdown Club with my friends,
I have to drive all the way
up to stupid Minneapolis
and have dinner with
Beverly and Warren,
the two antique dealers
from Buffalo.
How come you
have to eat fish?
I can't believe you're going
to miss Monday Night Football
to spend the evening
with antique dealers.
You know, this is going to be
the dullest evening I've spent
since Christine dragged me
to that Meryl Streep movie.
Well, I'll tell you
something, guys,
relationships
are work.
I mean, don't get me wrong,
women are great.
They're affectionate,
they're supportive,
they love you when
nobody else does.
They build you up
when you're feeling down.
But let me tell you
something, they're all alike.
They give, give, give, but sooner or
later, they all want something back.
Hey, Christine.
Oh, there you are.
I was beginning to
wonder where you were.
Yeah, I was driving the whole way behind a
tanker, hoping it would explode.
Hayden.
So where are
the Glimmer Twins?
They are in the guest room,
and they can probably hear you.
Now, you behave
yourself tonight.
Yeah, all right,
I'll behave.
I'll act interested in
every dull thing they say.
Hey, Christine,
I just want to know something,
is there a chance I can watch just
two minutes of the game tonight, huh?
No.
Why not?
Well, I can have dinner,
and then say I've got a case of hurricane gut,
and disappear
into the bedroom.
Nobody will know.
Hayden, there's going
to be no football tonight.
I told you, these are two
of my very dearest friends,
they are only staying
with me for one night,
and I want that one
night to be perfect.
Besides, you're going to
love Warren and Beverly.
Well, you must be
the famous Hayden Fox.
And you must be
the world-famous Warren.
Hayden Fox,
Warren Graustark.
It's a great pleasure
to meet you.
Oh, Beyv, shake a leg,
Hayden's here.
Is this him?
Hayden, I would like you to meet one of
my oldest and dearest friends, Beverly.
Beverly, Hayden Fox.
I can't tell you how excited
we are to finally meet you.
We've been trying for
four years to pin you down.
Well, you stuck
me tonight.
Well, shall we
all sit down?
Oh, yeah.
Do the two of you still
enjoy a kir before dinner?
Oh, she remembered!
Oh, Warren, be a doll and go
get Christine's gift. Oh, yes.
Oh, you guys,
you didn't have to bring me a gift.
Oh, it's just a trifle,
something we picked up in Bath.
Where?
England.
Oh.
Bev and I saw this,
and it just screamed "Christine."
What is it,
a parrot?
Oh, he's joking.
Well...
Oh, you guys!
Oh, I love it!
A candle box.
Now, do you
really love it?
Oh, it's absolutely
exquisite, Hayden, look.
Yeah, oh yeah, boy.
It's 17th century.
You know there's a rather
amusing story that goes with it.
You'll love this.
Bev and I were tooling down this
picture-postcard country lane,
just outside Bath.
And it was an
absolutely glorious day.
The heather was in bloom and the
aroma was absolutely narcotic.
Anyway, we were
driving along,
and even though we've driven
through England a hundred times,
I must have lost
myself in the moment
because suddenly I forgot I was
supposed to be driving on the left,
and instead I found myself driving
on the right side of the road.
Can you imagine?
Fortunately, and here's what makes
the story funny rather than tragic,
nothing happened.
What makes it
a story?
Well, when I realized
what I'd done, I screamed.
Bev grabbed the wheel,
and we spun off the road
right smack into the
front yard of a potter.
As luck would have it,
he was home,
and seeing we were shaken,
invited us in for a cup of tea.
He served it in cups
he'd made himself.
Oh.
Well, one thing
led to another,
and as we were chatting,
we told him we were antique dealers
and he in turn mentioned about a cousin he
had, who lived nearby,
who had several quite
distinctive antique candle boxes.
You know, now that
I think about it,
we really should tell them how we
ended up in Bath in the first place.
See, the whole story really
begins a year earlier in Scotland.
At any rate,
we hopped on a plane in Cairo
and flew to London
as fast as we could,
where we rented a car and drove
like the dickens to... Where else?
WARREN AND BEVERLY: Bath!
You know, despite all the trouble
and the thousands of miles of travel,
it was worth it just to
have that story to tell.
I will treasure the gift all the
more just knowing its history.
Shall we all move to the living
room and I'll get us some coffee?
Oh, boy.
Oh, Hayden, you really should
hear Warren's hysterical story
about the time that we
met the cobbler in Turin.
Uh, no,
I shouldn't.
I think I've got internal bleeding
from laughing at that Bath story.
Besides, I'm tired
of being "on."
You know what I've really
been dying to do all evening
is get Hayden
to talk about football.
Football?
Oh, yes,
I'm quite the fanatic.
You know, you and your
Screaming Eagles
have really been through
some trying times this year.
You follow Minnesota State?
I follow everyone.
I've got to believe that if Bo Whitley
comes back for his senior year,
you're going to have an
outstanding team next season.
Oh man, I've got to tell you, Warren,
I'm looking forward to next season.
We just recruited this great wide
receiver, Billy Cardell.
And I've been looking at this incredible
running back from South Dakota.
Really?
I'm anxious to get him.
Oh, I should say...
Hayden, you're not talking
football, are you?
Huh? Warren started it.
Hayden's right,
I'm the guilty party.
But if he's going to pry
antique stories out of me,
I'm going to pry a few gridiron
war stories out of him.
So, it sounds to me like you could
have a great season next year.
Oh, could be my
best season ever.
Do you ever think of moving
on to a bigger school?
Gee, I don't know,
I wouldn't mind getting an offer.
Oh, tell us, Hayden,
if you had a crystal ball,
where would you like
to be five years from now?
Oh, jeez, I don't know.
I tell my players not to look ahead.
Oh, now, come on,
we all have dreams of where
we'd like to be someday.
I have the Graustark dream.
It's for Beverly and me to buy
a little country home in Vermont
and spend the rest of our days writing
about all the places we've been,
and all the nutty things
that have happened to us.
(COUGHS)
So, come on, tell us,
what's the Hayden Fox dream?
Now, well, it doesn't compare
with you two vagabonds, but
I guess if I had
to say it out loud,
what I'd really love to do is take
over a major program somewhere
you know, where the recruiting
is a lot easier and then...
Well, I mean,
after a few years there,
assuming that I
had some success,
man, I would love
a shot at the pros.
(WARREN AND BEVERLY EXCLAIM)
But wouldn't it be hard picking up,
moving from city to city all the time?
Well, you know, that kind of goes
with the territory, I mean...
That's why I don't like to put down
too many roots or anything, but...
Of course, I wouldn't forget
all the people, you know,
helped me in the lean
years and everything...
I'd want to take
them with me.
I'd insist on taking along
my two top assistant coaches.
And then, you know,
when it's time to hang it up,
I don't know, I'd like to
settle on a little plot of land
I bought just outside of Spokane,
Washington, in God's country.
Yeah, and then just retire
there with all my awards.
Just going camping,
hunting and fishing,
watching
Monday Night Football.
Not another soul
around for 20 miles.
That's it?
Yeah.
Hey, Christine, I know
I promised I wouldn't do this,
but, I mean, since Warren's
such a big football fan,
would it be okay if we went in
your bedroom and watched TV?
The last two minutes
of the game?
Come on, Warren!
Warren, let's go.
This is none
of my business,
but we've known each other
along time, so I have to ask.
Hayden didn't mention
you in any of his plans.
I thought
you two were more
serious than that.
So did I.
HAYDEN: Whoa, what a catch!
Oh, my God!
WARREN: It's like he
had glue on his hands.
Can you believe Montana?
Christine, it was unbelievable,
you should have seen it.
I heard it.
Where's Beverly?
Did she...
Oh, I finally told her
to go to bed.
Jeez, I didn't realize
it was that late.
Well, I hate to see
this night end,
but we have an early flight
to Hong Kong tomorrow.
Hey listen, you have
a great trip, huh?
And if you're ever in
Minneapolis, you give me a call,
and we'll go to a game and maybe
throw back a couple of kirs together.
I'd love that.
Oh, Christine,
thank you for a wonderful day.
It's always a joy
to see you again.
Oh, it's great
to see you, Warren.
And I'll see you
again in the morning.
Right-o.
Ta.
HAYDEN: Ta.
Can I help you with that?
No, that's okay.
I got it.
I've got to admit.
You were right-o, and I was wrong-o.
Boy, I had a great
time tonight.
I'm glad you
thought so.
Yeah, I mean it.
Okay, I mean, that antique stuff was
death, but I love Warren.
Well, Hayden, it's almost midnight,
don't you think you'd better get going?
Going?
Going where?
Well, it's a work night.
You've got a long drive back to your cabin.
Is there something wrong?
Yeah, yeah.
Something very wrong,
but I don't think
I want to talk about it.
You said it was okay
if we watched the game.
This isn't about the game.
And really,
the more I think about it,
the more I know
I don't want to talk about it.
Jeez, Christine,
you always want to talk about it.
Hey, I mean, this might be so bad,
I might even want to talk about it.
Good night, Hayden.
What's going on here?
Wait a minute, honey,
there's never been anything so bad that
you couldn't at least tell me what it was.
You really
don't know, do you?
Christine,
you've known me for four years.
I never know.
Let me just ask
you one question.
When Warren was asking you
tonight about your five-year plan,
and you were talking about your dreams
of going off to a bigger school,
going off to the pros
retiring in Spokane,
was that really
what you want?
Well, Christine, see,
I feel like I'm walking on a minefield here
and I don't know why.
I don't even know
where you're going.
Well, apparently,
I'm not going to Spokane,
or any of the other cities
you plan on moving to.
Is that what this is about?
You felt left out of my plans?
I just want to know one thing.
In this fantasy you have of retiring in Spokane
and camping, fishing and
watching Monday Night Football,
am I dead or something?
Or did I even
make it that far?
No... Of course
you'd be there.
I mean, just because I didn't mention
you, doesn't mean you wouldn't be there.
You'd be there.
You'd be there.
How will I be there?
Let's say you move to,
I don't know, Los Angeles,
would I be moving
to Los Angeles, too?
Or would I fly out on the weekends?
Would I become your pen pal?
How exactly did you
see that working out?
Well, it would work out just like we've
always talked about it working out.
You'd do what's
best for you.
I mean, it's your life.
It's my life?
Gee, somehow I was under the
impression this had become our life.
Okay, I'm sorry,
our life.
Would someone please tell me why suddenly
our life seems to be in so much trouble?
I mean, I thought
we were doing great.
Well, I don't think we're doing
great, I think we're doing lousy.
(SIGHS)
My God, Hayden, if somebody
had asked me my five-year plan,
I don't know what
I would have said for sure,
but I know you would have
been the biggest part of it.
It was painfully obvious that I
am not the biggest part of yours.
I'm not even in yours.
That's just because
I forgot to mention you.
Well, Warren sure didn't forget to
mention Beverly in his five-year plan!
Shh, Christine, you don't want
Beverly and Warren to hear us.
I don't give a damn
who hears us!
(TOILET FLUSHING)
WARREN: Good night.
Christine, I can't believe you're this
upset because I forgot to mention your name.
I'm upset because four years
into this relationship,
we still have no idea
where we're headed!
I mean, are we planning to spend the
rest of our lives together or not?
Spend the rest of our lives together?
What are you talking about? Are you...
Are you talking
about marriage?
Well,
I guess,
yeah.
Yeah.
That's exactly what
I'm talking about.
Eventually.
I... I don't mean I want
to get married tonight.
I don't even know if I want to get married
six months from now, or a year from now.
But you can't be so thick as to think
that we can just keep going on like this.
Hey, wait a minute,
before you go calling anybody thick.
Now, I recall four years ago that we
agreed this was a great relationship
because we both
wanted the same things.
We both had careers
that mattered to us.
Neither of us wanted a commitment.
Neither of us had the time.
All we wanted was a relationship
that fit into those rules.
Now if the rules have changed,
nobody told me.
How can you not see
things have changed?
I may still be a convenience for
you, Hayden,
but you're not
a convenience for me.
I am deeply, hopelessly,
probably foolishly
in love with you.
Well, I love you, too.
Yeah, right.
I do.
Then how come when you look down the
road, I'm not there?
But you are there!
When Warren asked
me that tonight,
I was talking about
my job future,
I wasn't thinking
about other people.
You thought about
Luther and Dauber.
That's because I was
talking about football!
If he asked me
about my love life,
I would have
thought about you.
I sure as hell wouldn't have
thought about Luther and Dauber!
Hayden, we're just
spinning our wheels here.
I---
I don't want to come off as a woman
who's just desperate to get married,
because that is not
what this is about.
If all I wanted to
do was get married,
I could have done
that 20 years ago.
But I don't want to spend the
rest of my life dating you.
Yeah, and you know that I
have a problem with marriage.
I don't want the same thing to happen to
you and me that happened to me and Beth.
I am not Beth!
But I am
still Hayden!
And that's the part of the
equation that doesn't work!
I mean, Christine, come on,
it's not like I haven't thought about this before.
I've thought
about it a lot.
Honey, if you and I were to get
married, you'd just end up hating me.
And I know you think you
wouldn't, but you would.
You'd end up resenting all the late
nights, all the recruiting trips,
all the moving around.
And that's the part of the
package that comes with me.
Oh, Christine, I can't stand
the thought of you hating me.
That's why I don't...
That's why I'm against marriage.
Not because
I don't love you.
Because I don't
want to lose you.
Hayden, if you don't have any
more faith in me than that,
you've already lost me.
I thought
these last four years
were about two people
who were terrified
of commitment,
finally finding the one
person they felt safe with.
Now, if you're telling
me that that isn't true,
then I have really
been a fool.
Tell me I haven't
been a fool.
Christine, I can't
get married again.
Then we haven't
got a future.
And every second
we pretend we do is
just a lie.
What are you saying?
I'm saying
it's over.
I'm sorry, but I really
can't talk anymore.
(DOOR CLOSING)