Coach (1989–1997): Season 3, Episode 14 - Puppy Love - full transcript
FEMALE NARRATOR: Coach is
filmed before a studio audience.
Who won the first
Super Bowl game?
Green Bay Packers, 35 to 10,
over the Kansas City Chiefs.
That's too easy,
let me find another one.
What are you
guys doing?
Playing sports trivia.
Okay, here's a good one.
Who was the first head coach
of the New York Jets?
Weeb Ewbank.
You got it.
Dauber, Dauber!
No, no, no. Hold it,
hold it, hold it down.
Kelly's in the team room,
she's studying for a history exam. Come on.
Sorry, Coach.
Okay, here's a real
brain-buster.
What college football program has
produced the most all-Americans?
Yale.
You guys are great.
You know everything in the world.
You're like encyclopedias.
Excuse me.
Guys, I'm really embarrassed
to even ask you this,
but I have been studying for so
long, my brain is just gone.
Who was the Prime Minister of
England during the Second World War?
That's okay,
I'll look it up.
Jeez, I'm sorry, Kelly.
(DOOR CLOSING)
Okay, who kicked the longest
field goal in NFL history?
Tom Dempsey!
New Orleans Saints.
63 yards.
(LAUGHS)
You guys are geniuses!
You wanted
to see me, Dad?
Oh, yeah, I've been thinking about that
question you asked me earlier today.
The answer is
Winston Churchill.
It's okay, Dad.
No, I didn't want you thinking your
dad didn't know anything about history.
Come on, I mean,
I was a history major,
and I certainly didn't
want you thinking
I didn't know who the Prime Minister of
England was during the Second World War.
Actually, the real question was,
"Who was the Prime Minister of England
"at the beginning
of the Second World War?"
It was
Neville Chamberlain.
That's right, honey.
That's right.
Yeah.
Actually, my specialty,
sweetheart, was ancient history.
It's okay, you know.
I know you're a smart guy, Dad.
No, no, no. I'm not trying
to make a point or anything.
I just want you to know that
history is something I know about.
Hey, if you ever want to know
anything about Alexander the Great,
I'm the guy to see, honey.
I got to get
to class, Dad.
I did a paper
on him once.
I'd like to read it sometime.
Yeah.
Did you know he died in
Babylon, at the age of 327
KELLY: I know now.
32.
Coach, you are never gonna believe
what Luther just found out!
I was just in the men's room,
and I heard that Earl Rizendough's widow
is thinking about making a big
donation to the basketball program.
Basketball program?
Yeah. That's what Coach Moses told
Howard Burleigh in his office.
I thought you said
you were in the men's room.
Yeah, well, I was...
Howard Burleigh's office is
right next to the men's room.
And if you lie
down on the floor
and put your ear up to the
vent, you can hear everything.
I can't believe basketball is getting
the money that we're supposed to get.
Oh, man, I gotta
tell you, this stinks.
Everybody knows that Earl
Rizendough loved football,
and everybody knows
that when he died,
he was gonna give us the $10 million
to build that new athletic center.
Everyone knows he didn't
put it in his will.
Whether he put it
in his will or not,
those were his intentions.
I can't believe his widow
thinks that money's hers.
It would make
so much difference
in our recruiting if we
had that athletic center.
I can't let Terence Moses
get that money.
What can you do?
I'll tell you what I'll do,
I'll go there and talk to her again,
that's what the hell I can do.
Sheesh, can you believe
this house?
How much do you think
a place like this costs?
I have no idea.
That's what I was thinking.
Luth, you wait for me out here.
If I need you, I'll call you, okay?
Hello, Mrs. Rizendough.
Coach Fox.
Boy, I really appreciate you
seeing me on such short notice.
Well, you said you were leaving
for Europe in the morning,
so I didn't see any harm
in squeezing you in.
I suppose you're back to try to raise
money for that football team of yours.
Well, actually,
I want to broach with you, once again,
the subject of the Earl J.
Rizendough Memorial Athletic Center.
Coach Fox,
we've discussed this before.
I have no intention of
giving you $10 million.
You know I don't
care for football.
But Earl did.
But I don't.
It was Earl's money.
But it's mine now.
Well, then, let me just ask you a
question, Mrs. Rizendough.
Are you planning to give that
money to the basketball program?
Oh, that's what
this is all about.
No, this is about
my love for Earl.
But are you planning
to give it to basketball?
Only because I was
taken with Terence Moses.
I met him at
a political fund-raiser,
and I found him very
sensitive and intelligent,
and concerned with the same
things I'm concerned with.
Oh, come on,
Mrs. Rizendough!
The guy is just
after your money.
He'll say anything.
You know, I could
play that game, too.
I could pretend to be concerned
about the plight of the world,
but I'm no hypocrite.
I don't care about any of that stuff.
What I care about is the memory of Earl J.
Rizendough,
and the 56,000 square feet of athletic
center that would help preserve it.
Coach Fox, if nothing
else, you are tenacious,
and I suppose that
deserves to be rewarded.
You do? I'm writing you a check.
It is something
Earl would've wanted,
and maybe by doing this now,
we can avoid going through this ritual next year.
Boy, Mrs. Rizendough,
this is great.
Never in a million years did I think
I'd come in here this afternoon,
and walk out
with a check for...
$1,0007
That won't build
an athletic center,
but maybe it will buy
bandages or something.
Mrs. Rizendough, I don't want
to seem ungrateful or anything,
I mean, it's not like $1,000
isn't a lot of money, but...
Gee, Earl would have spent this in
one day on cheesecake and cigars.
If he hadn't,
you'd be talking to him.
But he did,
and you're not,
and I'm afraid
you'll have to leave.
I have a very
busy afternoon.
I'm having a cocktail party for
the Canine Kindness Society,
and I really
have to get ready.
Canine Kindness Society?
It's a favorite
charity of mine.
The one that's
nice to dogs?
Yes.
You're heavily
involved in that?
I'm on
the board of directors.
Oh, God.
Is something wrong?
Yeah, something's wrong.
Something's wrong
with me.
I had no idea you were involved
in the Canine Kindness Society.
I can't take
this check.
What do you mean?
Well, I mean...
I can't let this be going to football
when I know it could be going to the dogs.
I know you and I have our differences
about football and basketball,
but when it comes to the welfare of those
miraculous, golden-hearted animals,
there can't be any
differences between us.
In fact,
I'm gonna give you
a check you can
contribute
to the Society.
Are you serious?
I'm going to leave
this blank, Mrs. Rizendough,
and don't hesitate
to take what you need,
keeping in mind
that I am not a rich man.
Just one who's concerned
with the same things you are.
I hope you have
a wonderful evening, tonight,
and God bless you and all the work you're doing.
Coach Fox.
Hmm?
Are you sincere
about this?
When have I ever...
Of course I'm sincere.
I had no idea that
you were a dog lover.
I'm not a dog lover,
I'm a dog worshipper.
I take it
you have dogs?
I have a dog.
King.
He's not a pedigree
or anything, but...
I wouldn't be
standing here today,
if it weren't for
that wonderful fellow.
Oh.
Let's just leave it
at that, Mrs. Rizendough,
I want you to get
back to your party.
It was good
to see you again.
Wait a minute.
What do you mean, you wouldn't be
here today if it weren't for King?
I mean that King
saved my life.
How?
Well,
it was in a snowstorm.
It was on a Sunday night,
and I was driving back from
church.
And on the way back,
the storm started,
and I just skidded off
the road and
went into a snowbank,
and I was entombed.
And I thought I was
going to freeze to death.
All of a sudden,
I heard this...
(SCRATCHING)
You guessed it,
scratching at the window.
And I looked up,
and there was this
wet nose pressed
against the glass.
(SIGHS)
It was like a wet
nose from heaven.
Sol rolled down the window,
and in crawled this magnificent animal.
We huddled there
together for
I don't know how long, I passed in and
out of consciousness so many times.
And only the warmth of
King's body kept me alive.
And I awoke,
and the snowstorm
had abated, and...
King looked at me,
licked my face a couple of times.
And nobody in the region had ever seen King
before, so naturally I adopted him,
and we've been
together ever since.
That is one of the
most heroic stories
of canine courage
I've ever heard.
Thank you.
You really should meet the people
in the Canine Kindness Society.
Why don't you come
to the party tonight?
Me?
And I want you
to tell them that story,
exactly the way
you told it to me.
And I want
to be able to.
Will I see you tonight?
You can count on it.
Oh, and bring King.
Huh?
We must meet
this animal.
You want to have
dogs at your party?
We're all dog lovers.
Well, I don't know,
King's not much of a party animal.
I insist.
I'll see you at 5:00.
We'll be here.
The King and I.
LUTHER: This isn't
gonna work, Hayden.
(DOGS BARKING) We're not
going to fool Mrs. Rizendough.
Luther, if the only thing
standing between us
and a $10-million athletic
center is a stupid dog,
we're going to find
a stupid dog.
I'm gonna go along
with this this just one time,
if you promise me
never, never
to lie again,
as long as you live.
I promise.
Liar.
Can I help you?
Yeah.
We are looking for
a very special dog.
A dog that could've rescued
someone from a snowstorm.
You know, as big as
something like 3 Great Dane
or a Saint Bernard
or like a German Shepherd.
Ah! Yes, I know exactly the
kind of dog you're looking for.
Great!
We have nothing like that.
What do you mean?
You're a pound, you have tons of dogs.
And we did. We had several tons,
right up until Christmas Eve.
And then,
as happens every year,
dozens of people came
in at the last minute,
and adopted dogs
for their kids.
Are you telling me
you don't have any dogs?
I'm telling you we don't have
the wonder dog you're in need of.
Okay, maybe it doesn't
have to be a gigantic dog,
maybe all it has
to be is a smart dog.
Ah, yes, in that case
I can help you.
This is an extremely
intelligent dog.
Come on.
Oh, yes.
We call him Yoda.
Are you joking?
This isn't a dog,
it's a pull-toy. Come on.
God!
Well, the only other one
we have is over here.
Let me see
if he's awake.
Ah, yes, and he's full of beans.
Come on.
Yes, this is Quincy.
HAYDEN: What's the matter
with him?
Nothing.
He's not doing anything.
You ever had
a Basset?
No.
You ever had
a ficus tree?
Yeah.
Well, they're pretty much
the same thing.
I can't believe this.
You mean these
are our choices?
This one doesn't even
look like a dog,
and this one looks like a bag
a dog used to be in.
(PHONE RINGING)
Excuse me,
I've got to get to that phone.
Luther, man, Mrs. Rizendough's never
gonna believe this dog saved my life.
Wait a minute.
I don't know, Hayden.
I could believe this
dog saved your life.
I mean, look at those big
eyes, those ears, those feet.
Yeah, you could be
a hero, couldn't you?
Listen to him wheeze,
I think he likes me.
Let's get him.
What do you mean, let's get him?
Luther, the dog
doesn't do anything.
How do you know
he doesn't do anything?
We haven't even
given him a chance yet.
You'd be amazed when you see
what I could teach this dog.
Isn't that right?
Hey, come on, Quincy,
show him what you can do.
Come on!
Come on, roll over!
Roll over, come on, Quincy!
Come on, roll over!
Roll over! Sit up, sit up!
Beg, beg, beg!
Sit up, roll over!
Come on, shake hands!
Stay!
Did you see that?
Staying is the hardest
thing for a dog to learn,
he picked it up
just like that.
Luther, we are in trouble.
No one's gonna believe this dog's a hero.
He doesn't have to be
heroic at the party, Hayden.
All he has to do is make people fall
in love with him, and they will.
I mean, just look at him.
He's got that certain
something in his eyes.
I think those
are cataracts.
So, have you decided?
Come on,
let's get him.
"Oh, let's get him."
Okay, how much for
Mr. Excitement here?
15 bucks,
and that includes a shot.
That wouldn't be a shot
of adrenaline, would it?
Why don't you...
Why don't you bring him to the office,
and we'll sort out the paperwork.
I think you'll have years
of enjoyment with him.
Oh, no, we're not having
years of enjoyment.
We'll have about three or
four hours of enjoyment,
and then I'm
bringing him back.
Come on, Quincy.
Come on, boy,
come on.
Here we go.
Come on, come on,
wake up.
Come on, here we go.
Here we go,
here we go.
Here we go, come on.
Come on, come on.
Come on, come on.
We're gonna...
You've got a brand-new home
here, we gotta look at you.
Hayden!
Hayden! Okay,
he's gonna get a beautiful...
Benjamin,
there you are!
How are you,
darling?
I'm wonderful,
now that you're here.
Thank you for flying up
on such short notice.
Oh, well, this is a very
special occasion.
We're finally going to get to breed the
two finest Afghans in North America.
I want to introduce
you to some people.
Charles, would you
take Lady Caroline?
Certainly, madam.
God, I hope
this works.
I've got to tell you, Luth,
my confidence is waning already.
Everything's
gonna be fine.
Don't worry about
a thing, Hayden.
He's gonna be a great dog
someday, you watch and see.
I'm not gonna
watch and see.
I'm gonna get him back to the
pound as soon as this is over.
Oh, no, you're not.
I'm going to keep him.
For what, to keep
your back door open?
This dog has a lot of love to
give, Hayden, you'll see.
Oh, Coach Fox,
there you are.
Hi, Mrs. Rizendough.
Oh, what do
we have here?
This is King.
This is the dog
that saved your life?
Yeah, and it took a lot out of
him, as you can see.
This animal dug you
out of a snowbank?
Yeah, can you
imagine my surprise?
Coach Fox, may I speak to you
in private for a moment?
Well, of course.
Luth, why don't you watch King?
You want me to take him outside and
pull him up and down the driveway?
He seemed to like that
when we came in.
No, I want you to stay here
with him and watch him.
Okay.
Dear, dear, dear,
would you look at that adorable face?
Oh, thank you.
I'm Luther Van Dam.
Coach Fox, at what point do
we put an end to this charade?
What are you
talking about?
I'm not the fool
you may think I am.
I don't believe for one moment
that that dog saved your life.
What are you saying?
I'm here, aren't 1?
Coach Fox, before I have
you shown to the door,
would you at least do me the
courtesy of telling me the truth?
Mrs. Rizendough,
lam telling you the truth!
Coach Fox!
All right.
All right, all right,
all right.
Oh, man.
I was hoping it wouldn't come to
this, but I guess I have no choice.
That dog
is not King.
His name is Quincy.
I bought him this
afternoon at the pound.
Mrs. Rizendough,
I've just had a horrible day.
You see, when I went home
to get King this afternoon,
I found that
he'd passed on.
King died
this afternoon?
Yeah, I couldn't
believe it myself.
I mean, here was something
that had finally forged a link
between you and me
and it croaked.
So, numbed with grief,
I buried King down by the lake
and I brought Quincy here
in a vain attempt to sustain,
well, your faith in me.
Coach Fox,
is this a true story
or is this another one
of your fabrications?
I can show you the grave,
if you'd like to see it.
Fine, let's go.
Huh?
Let's go to his grave.
Let's go right now.
Oh, come on, there's no...
It's getting dark,
and besides, the lake
tide's coming in.
Oh, Coach Fox, for God's
sake, give it up!
Is there something
wrong, Pamela?
Yes, Benjamin,
something's very wrong.
I'm afraid I'm going to have
to ask Coach Fox to leave.
Oh, God,
what happened?
Well, nothing, Luth.
Mrs. Rizendough doesn't believe
that King saved my life.
Oh, yeah,
King, he did
save his life.
He saved...
He saved my life too.
And that's not
all he saved.
I mean, last spring
there was the huge flood,
and the houses
were floating by,
and he jumped in
those raging waters,
and he pulled out this whole
schoolhouse full of children,
and took them
to shore.
And then, there were like
all kinds of commendations,
Luther, Luther.
It was there in the newspaper... What?
I told Mrs. Rizendough
that this dog wasn't King.
Huh?
I told her the truth.
Well, good.
That King died
this afternoon.
Huh?
King's dead?
Well, who's this?
This is Quincy.
Now, why don't you take Quincy
outside, and I'll meet you out there.
Good. I got to sort
things out, anyway.
I got to plan
the funeral, and...
What is going on here?
I'll tell you
what's going on.
Coach Fox wants money
for an athletic center,
and he'll stop
at nothing to get it.
Because I am
entitled to it.
Your late husband, Earl,
wanted me to have it,
and if the paramedics had gotten here
sooner, he would have told you that.
Oh, for God's sake, Pamela,
give him the money.
What?
Well, if your husband promised this man
an athletic center, he should have it.
I'll be damned if I'll
give this man money.
I can't stand football,
and I won't abide liars.
Come on, now, Pamela,
the money doesn't mean a damn thing to you,
and I'm sure it means a great
deal more to the college.
Besides, it's what
Earl wanted.
Earl was a boy
who never grew up.
He would've given all his money
to frivolous things like football
if ll hadn't stopped him.
Pamela, Earl loved that football team
more than anything on this earth,
except for you.
He's right.
It was you, football and
cheesecake, in that order.
I know how you
disapprove of the sport,
but I also know
how much you loved Earl.
This is what
he wanted, Pamela.
Oh, very well.
You're going to
give me the money?
It's worth money to
get you out of my life.
Mrs. Rizendough, I don't know how
I can ever express my gratitude.
When I hand you this check,
you can leave.
Hey, if that says "thank you,"
I'm out of here.
Goodbye, Coach Fox!
Boy, this is the happiest
day of my life!
Hayden, Hayden, I got great news.
So do l.
Luther, I got the check,
I got the check, I got the check!
Oh, that's great.
Wait till you hear this.
Quincy can move!
What do you mean?
Well, he just jumped
out of the wagon,
and he saw this big shaggy dog and
he ran into Mrs. Rizendough's...
Big shaggy dog?
Yeah, and he's back there, and they,
you know, he saw, and they got, you know,
and they were like,
you know.
Oh, my God!
What's the problem?
That is a prize-winning
Afghan out there.
This women has waited an entire
year for her to come into season,
and you have ruined it!
Me? I was just standing here
to get my check. What...
What are you doing?
I'm doing to you as your Basset
Hound is doing to my Lady Caroline.
I can't believe this!
I'm gonna lose my athletic center just because
two dogs are having a beautiful moment?
I told you he had
a lot of love to give.
(QUINCY HOWLING)
filmed before a studio audience.
Who won the first
Super Bowl game?
Green Bay Packers, 35 to 10,
over the Kansas City Chiefs.
That's too easy,
let me find another one.
What are you
guys doing?
Playing sports trivia.
Okay, here's a good one.
Who was the first head coach
of the New York Jets?
Weeb Ewbank.
You got it.
Dauber, Dauber!
No, no, no. Hold it,
hold it, hold it down.
Kelly's in the team room,
she's studying for a history exam. Come on.
Sorry, Coach.
Okay, here's a real
brain-buster.
What college football program has
produced the most all-Americans?
Yale.
You guys are great.
You know everything in the world.
You're like encyclopedias.
Excuse me.
Guys, I'm really embarrassed
to even ask you this,
but I have been studying for so
long, my brain is just gone.
Who was the Prime Minister of
England during the Second World War?
That's okay,
I'll look it up.
Jeez, I'm sorry, Kelly.
(DOOR CLOSING)
Okay, who kicked the longest
field goal in NFL history?
Tom Dempsey!
New Orleans Saints.
63 yards.
(LAUGHS)
You guys are geniuses!
You wanted
to see me, Dad?
Oh, yeah, I've been thinking about that
question you asked me earlier today.
The answer is
Winston Churchill.
It's okay, Dad.
No, I didn't want you thinking your
dad didn't know anything about history.
Come on, I mean,
I was a history major,
and I certainly didn't
want you thinking
I didn't know who the Prime Minister of
England was during the Second World War.
Actually, the real question was,
"Who was the Prime Minister of England
"at the beginning
of the Second World War?"
It was
Neville Chamberlain.
That's right, honey.
That's right.
Yeah.
Actually, my specialty,
sweetheart, was ancient history.
It's okay, you know.
I know you're a smart guy, Dad.
No, no, no. I'm not trying
to make a point or anything.
I just want you to know that
history is something I know about.
Hey, if you ever want to know
anything about Alexander the Great,
I'm the guy to see, honey.
I got to get
to class, Dad.
I did a paper
on him once.
I'd like to read it sometime.
Yeah.
Did you know he died in
Babylon, at the age of 327
KELLY: I know now.
32.
Coach, you are never gonna believe
what Luther just found out!
I was just in the men's room,
and I heard that Earl Rizendough's widow
is thinking about making a big
donation to the basketball program.
Basketball program?
Yeah. That's what Coach Moses told
Howard Burleigh in his office.
I thought you said
you were in the men's room.
Yeah, well, I was...
Howard Burleigh's office is
right next to the men's room.
And if you lie
down on the floor
and put your ear up to the
vent, you can hear everything.
I can't believe basketball is getting
the money that we're supposed to get.
Oh, man, I gotta
tell you, this stinks.
Everybody knows that Earl
Rizendough loved football,
and everybody knows
that when he died,
he was gonna give us the $10 million
to build that new athletic center.
Everyone knows he didn't
put it in his will.
Whether he put it
in his will or not,
those were his intentions.
I can't believe his widow
thinks that money's hers.
It would make
so much difference
in our recruiting if we
had that athletic center.
I can't let Terence Moses
get that money.
What can you do?
I'll tell you what I'll do,
I'll go there and talk to her again,
that's what the hell I can do.
Sheesh, can you believe
this house?
How much do you think
a place like this costs?
I have no idea.
That's what I was thinking.
Luth, you wait for me out here.
If I need you, I'll call you, okay?
Hello, Mrs. Rizendough.
Coach Fox.
Boy, I really appreciate you
seeing me on such short notice.
Well, you said you were leaving
for Europe in the morning,
so I didn't see any harm
in squeezing you in.
I suppose you're back to try to raise
money for that football team of yours.
Well, actually,
I want to broach with you, once again,
the subject of the Earl J.
Rizendough Memorial Athletic Center.
Coach Fox,
we've discussed this before.
I have no intention of
giving you $10 million.
You know I don't
care for football.
But Earl did.
But I don't.
It was Earl's money.
But it's mine now.
Well, then, let me just ask you a
question, Mrs. Rizendough.
Are you planning to give that
money to the basketball program?
Oh, that's what
this is all about.
No, this is about
my love for Earl.
But are you planning
to give it to basketball?
Only because I was
taken with Terence Moses.
I met him at
a political fund-raiser,
and I found him very
sensitive and intelligent,
and concerned with the same
things I'm concerned with.
Oh, come on,
Mrs. Rizendough!
The guy is just
after your money.
He'll say anything.
You know, I could
play that game, too.
I could pretend to be concerned
about the plight of the world,
but I'm no hypocrite.
I don't care about any of that stuff.
What I care about is the memory of Earl J.
Rizendough,
and the 56,000 square feet of athletic
center that would help preserve it.
Coach Fox, if nothing
else, you are tenacious,
and I suppose that
deserves to be rewarded.
You do? I'm writing you a check.
It is something
Earl would've wanted,
and maybe by doing this now,
we can avoid going through this ritual next year.
Boy, Mrs. Rizendough,
this is great.
Never in a million years did I think
I'd come in here this afternoon,
and walk out
with a check for...
$1,0007
That won't build
an athletic center,
but maybe it will buy
bandages or something.
Mrs. Rizendough, I don't want
to seem ungrateful or anything,
I mean, it's not like $1,000
isn't a lot of money, but...
Gee, Earl would have spent this in
one day on cheesecake and cigars.
If he hadn't,
you'd be talking to him.
But he did,
and you're not,
and I'm afraid
you'll have to leave.
I have a very
busy afternoon.
I'm having a cocktail party for
the Canine Kindness Society,
and I really
have to get ready.
Canine Kindness Society?
It's a favorite
charity of mine.
The one that's
nice to dogs?
Yes.
You're heavily
involved in that?
I'm on
the board of directors.
Oh, God.
Is something wrong?
Yeah, something's wrong.
Something's wrong
with me.
I had no idea you were involved
in the Canine Kindness Society.
I can't take
this check.
What do you mean?
Well, I mean...
I can't let this be going to football
when I know it could be going to the dogs.
I know you and I have our differences
about football and basketball,
but when it comes to the welfare of those
miraculous, golden-hearted animals,
there can't be any
differences between us.
In fact,
I'm gonna give you
a check you can
contribute
to the Society.
Are you serious?
I'm going to leave
this blank, Mrs. Rizendough,
and don't hesitate
to take what you need,
keeping in mind
that I am not a rich man.
Just one who's concerned
with the same things you are.
I hope you have
a wonderful evening, tonight,
and God bless you and all the work you're doing.
Coach Fox.
Hmm?
Are you sincere
about this?
When have I ever...
Of course I'm sincere.
I had no idea that
you were a dog lover.
I'm not a dog lover,
I'm a dog worshipper.
I take it
you have dogs?
I have a dog.
King.
He's not a pedigree
or anything, but...
I wouldn't be
standing here today,
if it weren't for
that wonderful fellow.
Oh.
Let's just leave it
at that, Mrs. Rizendough,
I want you to get
back to your party.
It was good
to see you again.
Wait a minute.
What do you mean, you wouldn't be
here today if it weren't for King?
I mean that King
saved my life.
How?
Well,
it was in a snowstorm.
It was on a Sunday night,
and I was driving back from
church.
And on the way back,
the storm started,
and I just skidded off
the road and
went into a snowbank,
and I was entombed.
And I thought I was
going to freeze to death.
All of a sudden,
I heard this...
(SCRATCHING)
You guessed it,
scratching at the window.
And I looked up,
and there was this
wet nose pressed
against the glass.
(SIGHS)
It was like a wet
nose from heaven.
Sol rolled down the window,
and in crawled this magnificent animal.
We huddled there
together for
I don't know how long, I passed in and
out of consciousness so many times.
And only the warmth of
King's body kept me alive.
And I awoke,
and the snowstorm
had abated, and...
King looked at me,
licked my face a couple of times.
And nobody in the region had ever seen King
before, so naturally I adopted him,
and we've been
together ever since.
That is one of the
most heroic stories
of canine courage
I've ever heard.
Thank you.
You really should meet the people
in the Canine Kindness Society.
Why don't you come
to the party tonight?
Me?
And I want you
to tell them that story,
exactly the way
you told it to me.
And I want
to be able to.
Will I see you tonight?
You can count on it.
Oh, and bring King.
Huh?
We must meet
this animal.
You want to have
dogs at your party?
We're all dog lovers.
Well, I don't know,
King's not much of a party animal.
I insist.
I'll see you at 5:00.
We'll be here.
The King and I.
LUTHER: This isn't
gonna work, Hayden.
(DOGS BARKING) We're not
going to fool Mrs. Rizendough.
Luther, if the only thing
standing between us
and a $10-million athletic
center is a stupid dog,
we're going to find
a stupid dog.
I'm gonna go along
with this this just one time,
if you promise me
never, never
to lie again,
as long as you live.
I promise.
Liar.
Can I help you?
Yeah.
We are looking for
a very special dog.
A dog that could've rescued
someone from a snowstorm.
You know, as big as
something like 3 Great Dane
or a Saint Bernard
or like a German Shepherd.
Ah! Yes, I know exactly the
kind of dog you're looking for.
Great!
We have nothing like that.
What do you mean?
You're a pound, you have tons of dogs.
And we did. We had several tons,
right up until Christmas Eve.
And then,
as happens every year,
dozens of people came
in at the last minute,
and adopted dogs
for their kids.
Are you telling me
you don't have any dogs?
I'm telling you we don't have
the wonder dog you're in need of.
Okay, maybe it doesn't
have to be a gigantic dog,
maybe all it has
to be is a smart dog.
Ah, yes, in that case
I can help you.
This is an extremely
intelligent dog.
Come on.
Oh, yes.
We call him Yoda.
Are you joking?
This isn't a dog,
it's a pull-toy. Come on.
God!
Well, the only other one
we have is over here.
Let me see
if he's awake.
Ah, yes, and he's full of beans.
Come on.
Yes, this is Quincy.
HAYDEN: What's the matter
with him?
Nothing.
He's not doing anything.
You ever had
a Basset?
No.
You ever had
a ficus tree?
Yeah.
Well, they're pretty much
the same thing.
I can't believe this.
You mean these
are our choices?
This one doesn't even
look like a dog,
and this one looks like a bag
a dog used to be in.
(PHONE RINGING)
Excuse me,
I've got to get to that phone.
Luther, man, Mrs. Rizendough's never
gonna believe this dog saved my life.
Wait a minute.
I don't know, Hayden.
I could believe this
dog saved your life.
I mean, look at those big
eyes, those ears, those feet.
Yeah, you could be
a hero, couldn't you?
Listen to him wheeze,
I think he likes me.
Let's get him.
What do you mean, let's get him?
Luther, the dog
doesn't do anything.
How do you know
he doesn't do anything?
We haven't even
given him a chance yet.
You'd be amazed when you see
what I could teach this dog.
Isn't that right?
Hey, come on, Quincy,
show him what you can do.
Come on!
Come on, roll over!
Roll over, come on, Quincy!
Come on, roll over!
Roll over! Sit up, sit up!
Beg, beg, beg!
Sit up, roll over!
Come on, shake hands!
Stay!
Did you see that?
Staying is the hardest
thing for a dog to learn,
he picked it up
just like that.
Luther, we are in trouble.
No one's gonna believe this dog's a hero.
He doesn't have to be
heroic at the party, Hayden.
All he has to do is make people fall
in love with him, and they will.
I mean, just look at him.
He's got that certain
something in his eyes.
I think those
are cataracts.
So, have you decided?
Come on,
let's get him.
"Oh, let's get him."
Okay, how much for
Mr. Excitement here?
15 bucks,
and that includes a shot.
That wouldn't be a shot
of adrenaline, would it?
Why don't you...
Why don't you bring him to the office,
and we'll sort out the paperwork.
I think you'll have years
of enjoyment with him.
Oh, no, we're not having
years of enjoyment.
We'll have about three or
four hours of enjoyment,
and then I'm
bringing him back.
Come on, Quincy.
Come on, boy,
come on.
Here we go.
Come on, come on,
wake up.
Come on, here we go.
Here we go,
here we go.
Here we go, come on.
Come on, come on.
Come on, come on.
We're gonna...
You've got a brand-new home
here, we gotta look at you.
Hayden!
Hayden! Okay,
he's gonna get a beautiful...
Benjamin,
there you are!
How are you,
darling?
I'm wonderful,
now that you're here.
Thank you for flying up
on such short notice.
Oh, well, this is a very
special occasion.
We're finally going to get to breed the
two finest Afghans in North America.
I want to introduce
you to some people.
Charles, would you
take Lady Caroline?
Certainly, madam.
God, I hope
this works.
I've got to tell you, Luth,
my confidence is waning already.
Everything's
gonna be fine.
Don't worry about
a thing, Hayden.
He's gonna be a great dog
someday, you watch and see.
I'm not gonna
watch and see.
I'm gonna get him back to the
pound as soon as this is over.
Oh, no, you're not.
I'm going to keep him.
For what, to keep
your back door open?
This dog has a lot of love to
give, Hayden, you'll see.
Oh, Coach Fox,
there you are.
Hi, Mrs. Rizendough.
Oh, what do
we have here?
This is King.
This is the dog
that saved your life?
Yeah, and it took a lot out of
him, as you can see.
This animal dug you
out of a snowbank?
Yeah, can you
imagine my surprise?
Coach Fox, may I speak to you
in private for a moment?
Well, of course.
Luth, why don't you watch King?
You want me to take him outside and
pull him up and down the driveway?
He seemed to like that
when we came in.
No, I want you to stay here
with him and watch him.
Okay.
Dear, dear, dear,
would you look at that adorable face?
Oh, thank you.
I'm Luther Van Dam.
Coach Fox, at what point do
we put an end to this charade?
What are you
talking about?
I'm not the fool
you may think I am.
I don't believe for one moment
that that dog saved your life.
What are you saying?
I'm here, aren't 1?
Coach Fox, before I have
you shown to the door,
would you at least do me the
courtesy of telling me the truth?
Mrs. Rizendough,
lam telling you the truth!
Coach Fox!
All right.
All right, all right,
all right.
Oh, man.
I was hoping it wouldn't come to
this, but I guess I have no choice.
That dog
is not King.
His name is Quincy.
I bought him this
afternoon at the pound.
Mrs. Rizendough,
I've just had a horrible day.
You see, when I went home
to get King this afternoon,
I found that
he'd passed on.
King died
this afternoon?
Yeah, I couldn't
believe it myself.
I mean, here was something
that had finally forged a link
between you and me
and it croaked.
So, numbed with grief,
I buried King down by the lake
and I brought Quincy here
in a vain attempt to sustain,
well, your faith in me.
Coach Fox,
is this a true story
or is this another one
of your fabrications?
I can show you the grave,
if you'd like to see it.
Fine, let's go.
Huh?
Let's go to his grave.
Let's go right now.
Oh, come on, there's no...
It's getting dark,
and besides, the lake
tide's coming in.
Oh, Coach Fox, for God's
sake, give it up!
Is there something
wrong, Pamela?
Yes, Benjamin,
something's very wrong.
I'm afraid I'm going to have
to ask Coach Fox to leave.
Oh, God,
what happened?
Well, nothing, Luth.
Mrs. Rizendough doesn't believe
that King saved my life.
Oh, yeah,
King, he did
save his life.
He saved...
He saved my life too.
And that's not
all he saved.
I mean, last spring
there was the huge flood,
and the houses
were floating by,
and he jumped in
those raging waters,
and he pulled out this whole
schoolhouse full of children,
and took them
to shore.
And then, there were like
all kinds of commendations,
Luther, Luther.
It was there in the newspaper... What?
I told Mrs. Rizendough
that this dog wasn't King.
Huh?
I told her the truth.
Well, good.
That King died
this afternoon.
Huh?
King's dead?
Well, who's this?
This is Quincy.
Now, why don't you take Quincy
outside, and I'll meet you out there.
Good. I got to sort
things out, anyway.
I got to plan
the funeral, and...
What is going on here?
I'll tell you
what's going on.
Coach Fox wants money
for an athletic center,
and he'll stop
at nothing to get it.
Because I am
entitled to it.
Your late husband, Earl,
wanted me to have it,
and if the paramedics had gotten here
sooner, he would have told you that.
Oh, for God's sake, Pamela,
give him the money.
What?
Well, if your husband promised this man
an athletic center, he should have it.
I'll be damned if I'll
give this man money.
I can't stand football,
and I won't abide liars.
Come on, now, Pamela,
the money doesn't mean a damn thing to you,
and I'm sure it means a great
deal more to the college.
Besides, it's what
Earl wanted.
Earl was a boy
who never grew up.
He would've given all his money
to frivolous things like football
if ll hadn't stopped him.
Pamela, Earl loved that football team
more than anything on this earth,
except for you.
He's right.
It was you, football and
cheesecake, in that order.
I know how you
disapprove of the sport,
but I also know
how much you loved Earl.
This is what
he wanted, Pamela.
Oh, very well.
You're going to
give me the money?
It's worth money to
get you out of my life.
Mrs. Rizendough, I don't know how
I can ever express my gratitude.
When I hand you this check,
you can leave.
Hey, if that says "thank you,"
I'm out of here.
Goodbye, Coach Fox!
Boy, this is the happiest
day of my life!
Hayden, Hayden, I got great news.
So do l.
Luther, I got the check,
I got the check, I got the check!
Oh, that's great.
Wait till you hear this.
Quincy can move!
What do you mean?
Well, he just jumped
out of the wagon,
and he saw this big shaggy dog and
he ran into Mrs. Rizendough's...
Big shaggy dog?
Yeah, and he's back there, and they,
you know, he saw, and they got, you know,
and they were like,
you know.
Oh, my God!
What's the problem?
That is a prize-winning
Afghan out there.
This women has waited an entire
year for her to come into season,
and you have ruined it!
Me? I was just standing here
to get my check. What...
What are you doing?
I'm doing to you as your Basset
Hound is doing to my Lady Caroline.
I can't believe this!
I'm gonna lose my athletic center just because
two dogs are having a beautiful moment?
I told you he had
a lot of love to give.
(QUINCY HOWLING)