Coach (1989–1997): Season 2, Episode 17 - Sunshine on My Shoulder Makes Me Happy: A Show About Bird Ransom - full transcript
Luther entrusts Hayden with his beloved bird, who flies away. It is up to Coach to find Sunshine again before Luther returns.
FEMALE NARRATOR: Coach is
filmed before a studio audience.
(CHATTERING EXCITEDLY)
(SHUSHING)
(DOOR SLAMMING)
Golf, huh?
Yeah.
Hey, Hayden, you gonna be needing me
and Dauber for anything this weekend?
Well, I'm gonna be
with Christine all weekend.
I can't imagine
why I'd need you guys.
BOTH: All right!
We're going!
Going where?
Luther won an exciting weekend
for two at Lake Bemidji.
Actually, it's for me
and Mrs. Van Dam,
but since there isn't one,
I'm taking Dauber.
This is one of those come-ons
for a timeshare real estate deal.
All they want you to do is get you
up there so they can pressure you
into buying one week a year
at some crummy condo.
Well, I wouldn't mind going to Lake
Bemidji for my vacation every year.
Besides, we're just not going for
the free weekend and the sales pitch.
They also guarantee that we win
one of three fabulous prizes.
"You have won a motor home or
a 26-inch color television set
"or a set of fabulous
stainless steel steak knives."
Which one do you think
you guys won?
The motor home, we hope.
Yeah.
Hey, Hayden, would you mind taking
care of my bird while I'm gone?
Oh, jeez, Luther...
It's no trouble.
Just for a couple of days.
Well...
Please?
Yeah, sure.
All right, all right.
Just do me a favor,
will you?
When you guys go up there,
just be careful.
Don't let them talk you into
anything you don't want.
Don't be gullible.
All right. Thanks, Hayden.
That's good advice.
Yeah. So, Luth,
where's the first place
we're gonna go
in our motor home?
Probably our condo
in Lake Bemidji.
What in the world?
LUTHER: Hi, Hayden.
"Hi, Hayden."
Hi.
What time is it?
6:45.
Were you still in bed?
Yeah. Well, you know what a
sack hound I am on Saturday.
We brought the bird over
so we could get an early
start to Lake Bemidji.
Where do you want me
to put everything?
Well, how much stuff
did you bring?
A lot of stuff, Coach.
Wait a minute.
I thought you said
keeping this bird
wasn't gonna be any trouble.
No trouble. All you're gonna have
to do is feed him, clean his cage,
and keep the humidity
at a tropical 98%.
What?
We brought a humidifier.
Here, this is his food.
Now, here's what you do.
You give him the light food
in the morning
and the dark food
at night.
And absolutely
no in-between-meal snacks.
I don't care
how much he squawks.
And he squawks a lot.
And these are
his vitamins.
You give them to him
with this eyedropper.
You put vitamins
in his eyes?
Of course not.
You put it on his food.
Oh, thank God.
You put the eye drops
in his eyes.
Bet you didn't know
taking care of a bird
was this complicated,
did you, Coach?
(EXCLAIMS)
I thought I heard voices.
What's going on?
Oh, hi, Christine.
You were sleeping late, too, huh?
What?
Luther brought
his bird by.
I was just
giving Hayden instructions.
It's like flying a jet.
Can we see him?
Sure.
Oh, he's beautiful.
LUTHER: His name is Sunshine.
(MIMICKING LUTHER)
"His name is Sunshine."
Well, that's a cheery name.
Hello, Sunshine.
(SQUAWKING) I'm fired, I'm fired.
No hope. I'm fired.
(EXCLAIMS)
They don't really talk,
you know.
They just repeat
what they hear.
How long
have you had him?
Forty-eight years.
You're kidding!
Yeah, my dad gave him to me
when I was 10 years old.
I'll never forget.
He said, "Son, someday there'll come a time
"I won't be around anymore,
"and I want you to have this
bird to remember me by."
The next day, he left.
I never heard that story
before, Luth.
What a nice gesture
on your dad's part.
I didn't know birds like this
lived that long.
Oh, yeah.
They can live to be 100.
That's why
they're such great pets.
You don't have to worry
about losing them.
Hey, can I put him
on your shoulder?
Hell, no.
You might as well
get used to it.
He's gonna have to be
up there twice a day.
What?
You gotta put him on your shoulder
for a half-hour twice a day,
or else he'll go berserk.
What do you mean, berserk?
He'll go berserk.
Cuckoo. Nuts.
He'll squawk his head off.
They'll be able to hear him
clear across the lake.
Well, you never told me that.
I'm gonna hate this!
Oh, no, you're not.
You're going to love it.
Here. Here. He'll give you
a kiss if you want him to.
Well, I don't want him to.
God.
I feel like an ad for rum.
I don't mean to rush,
but we'd better get moving.
Hey, I really
appreciate this, Hayden.
I mean, the trip's gonna be
a lot easier
knowing that Sunshine's
in good hands.
Here. Give me a kiss.
Give me a kiss.
(IN CHILDISH VOICE) Daddy!
You be good for Uncle Hayden.
You be good
for Uncle Hayden, okay?
(LUTHER COOING)
Hey, would you... Luther!
Would you just get the
hell out of here, please?
Hayden, listen,
would you mind turning around
so he doesn't actually
see me leave?
Why?
Well, if he sees me leave,
he's gonna squawk his head off all day.
Oh, jeez.
(WHISPERING) Bye, Christine.
Bye, Hayden.
Well, it's 7:00.
Time to go to work.
Well, I am gonna hate this.
I know you are,
but I think it's really sweet
of you to do this for Luther.
You're probably the only person in
the world he'd trust with this bird.
Oh, lucky me.
(LAUGHING)
I want you to help me
cram him back into his cage.
Hayden, it hasn't been
a half-hour yet.
I don't care.
I'm not walking around
with this stinking parrot
on my shoulder all day.
You don't want him
squawking all day, do you?
No.
Oh, man, this is gonna be
the worst weekend of my life.
Christine, am I ever
gonna have a good weekend?
Why don't you go out
and get the paper?
And I'll start
some pancakes.
By the time they're ready,
you can probably put him back in his cage.
Gee, I hate Luther's father.
There.
Wonder how the North Stars
did last night.
Hayden.
What?
Where's Sunshine?
Huh?
Oh, God!
What happened?
I don't know.
Maybe he fell off
when I bent down
to get the paper.
Jeez, he's not out here!
Oh, you don't think
he flew away, do you?
(SUNSHINE SQUAWKS)
Look! There he is!
(BOTH EXCLAIM)
Here, Sunshine!
(WINGS FLAPPING)
Oh, no! He's flying away!
Hayden, he's flying away!
Sunshine, you get back here!
Sunshine! Come on, boy!
(SUNSHINE SQUAWKING)
Hayden,
what are we gonna do?
I don't know.
I know what I'm gonna do.
I'm gonna go get dressed
and chase him!
(WHISTLES)
It's a green parrot.
It answers to the name of Sunshine.
Well, actually,
that's not true.
If you call out "Sunshine,"
it flies away,
so if you see it,
just trap it.
Don't say anything.
Well, thank you very much for your help. Bye.
Any luck?
We had such
unbelievable luck.
We saw a crested flycatcher,
totally unique for this part of the country,
an incredible specimen
of a blue teal,
an entire nest of bald eagles, not
rare, but always very exciting...
Stuart, I think she was
asking if we found the parrot.
Oh. No.
So who were you calling?
Oh, just some of the families
around the lake.
I thought they could
keep an eye out.
Yeah, well, they're not gonna
see anything now. It's too dark.
God, I just hope for Luther's
sake we find that bird tomorrow.
He'll be devastated
if anything happens to it.
Not to mention how bad
your father's going to feel.
(EXCLAIMS ANGRILY)
I hate that stupid bird.
There you are.
I was starting to get worried about you.
I tracked that bird
over half this county.
I've been up trees,
across streams, on rooftops.
The bird is gone.
I wouldn't
give up hope, sir.
The fortunate thing
about the yellow-naped parrot
is that they never fly
great distances.
Even in the wild, they'll stay in
one small area their entire lives.
Well, thank you,
Charles Darwin.
I was just offering an emotional
branch for us all to cling to.
Oh...
Is it possible
he'd try to fly home?
To Brazil?
No, to Luther's place.
He could. In their native
habitat, they often...
Shut up, Stuart!
You know, that's a good idea.
I never even thought of that.
Dogs and cats do that
all the time.
He could be at Luther's
right now.
STUART: I hope so.
A tropical bird like that
will never survive
a Minnesota night.
Another branch of hope
there, Stu?
Okay, here's what
we're gonna do.
Christine,
you're gonna stay here.
You're gonna
answer phone calls.
I'm gonna go over
to Luther's.
I want you guys
to keep an eye out
at the railroad stations
and the airports.
What?
I don't know what the hell I'm saying.
Just keep looking.
I just want everybody to know
right here and now
that this is officially the
worst weekend I have ever had!
Sunshine? Sunshine?
Are you there, baby?
(WHISTLES)
Man.
Here, Sunshine.
Here, Sunshine.
Come on, baby. Come on.
Sunshine.
Come on.
(WHISTLES)
Sunshine.
Here we go, here we go.
(PHONE RINGS)
Yeah, hello?
Is this Luther Van Dam?
No, this is a friend of his.
Can I take a message?
Would you know if he's missing a
big, green bird?
Yeah. A parrot.
Don't tell me you found him!
Damn thing landed
on my shoulder.
Almost gave me
a heart attack.
Oh, great! Well,
I've been looking for that bird all day.
Hey, where are you?
I'm calling from a phone
booth behind Guy's Market.
Okay, I'll be right there.
Hey, wait. Wait a minute.
How about the reward?
(STAMMERING) Reward, yeah.
Fifty bucks.
I don't think so.
What do you mean?
Well, I could probably
sell him for twice that.
(EXCLAIMS) Okay, okay.
Okay, I'll give you $100.
I don't think so.
Hey, wait a minute.
I'm not gonna give you more than $100.
I mean, it's not even my bird.
The only reason
I'm giving you anything
is 'cause Luther
happens to be my best friend
and it's my fault
the bird's gone.
Oh, I didn't know
you were in a pickle.
How about $500?
$500?
How about you forget it, pal?
Okay.
No! Wait! Hold...
Wait, sir! Hold it. Hold...
Oh, jeez!
Hayden, you idiot!
You had the bird.
Why'd you have to bargain?
God!
(PHONE RINGING)
Please be him.
Hello?
Hi, Hayden.
Luth! What are you
calling for?
To see
how Sunshine was doing.
Christine said you'd gone over
to my apartment. How come?
(STAMMERING) How come?
Sunshine was not happy
at my cabin, Luther.
He's just probably upset 'cause I'm not there.
Let me talk to him.
Talk to him?
Yeah, just put the phone
up to the cage.
The sound of my voice
will probably calm him down.
Oh, yeah, right, sure.
Yeah, okay.
Okay, phone's going over there right
now, Luth. Here we go.
Okay, he's right...
Just a second, now.
Okay, phone's in the cage,
Luth.
Sunshine, Sunshine,
come on, easy.
Oh, boy,
he's real excited, Luth.
I think he knows it's you.
Okay, go ahead.
(IN CHILDISH VOICE) Hi, Sunshine.
How's my birdie?
How's my birdie?
Hayden?
Yeah, right here, Luth.
How come
he's not saying anything?
What's he supposed to say?
Every time I say, "Hi,
Sunshine, how's my birdie,"
he says,
"No hope, no hope."
If he doesn't say "no hope,"
then something's wrong.
Yeah, well, maybe I just had the phone
too far away from the cage, Luth.
I tell you what. I'll put it a little
closer here and you can talk to him.
Just speak a little louder,
if you wouldn't mind. Thank you.
Hi, Sunshine.
How's my birdie?
How's my birdie?
How's my birdie?
(SQUAWKING) No hope, no hope.
How was that, Luth?
He doesn't sound like himself.
Maybe I'd better come home.
Oh, no, no. Come on, don't come home.
No, no, no.
Everything's fine here. Sunshine just misses you.
That's all, believe me.
Everything is fine.
You don't need to worry about a thing.
And listen,
thanks for calling, Luth,
and I'll see you tomorrow night, okay?
Okay. Bye.
Wait a minute, Hayden...
No hope, no hope, no hope.
(PHONE RINGS)
Come on, Luther!
Hello?
Well, cheapskate,
have you had enough time to reconsider?
Thank God it's you!
Yeah, okay, I'll pay you $500.
I don't think so.
The market's gone up.
It's 750 bucks or no bird.
$750? Why, I ought to...
Hayden, Hayden, easy.
Okay, $750 it is.
Gotta go to the cabin, get some cash.
I'll be there in 15 minutes.
Okay.
750 bucks for a stupid bird!
Man, Luther,
you are so much trouble.
No wonder
your father left you.
(SIRENS WAILING)
Psst. Hey, bud! Over here.
Right this way. Here, here, here.
Come over here. Here.
Did you bring the money?
You got the parrot?
Hey, not so fast.
I know you. You're... Who?
Yeah, Hayden Fox.
Right, the coach.
Hey, you're a rich guy.
I want a grand.
What are you talking about?
Hey, I know how much coaches make.
I want $1,000, or no deal.
Give me the parrot!
Give me the parrot!
Hey, hey, hey!
Take it easy.
This car is a classic.
I'm not gonna give you $1,000.
(ENGINE STARTS)
Okay.
No, wait a minute.
Come on, wait a minute.
Turn off the engine!
Turn it off!
I didn't mean that
I wouldn't give you $1,000.
I meant, I don't know
if I got $1,000.
I mean, I just left home, you
know, with my little money sock.
I gotta count it.
$100, $200, $300,
$400, $500,
$600, $700, $800, $900...
Hayden, what the hell
are you doing?
Keep on going.
$1,000, $1,100, $1,200.
I'll take that.
$1,2007
Unless you got more.
Hey, what color
is that sock?
Blue. Why?
I'll take that, too.
All right,
now give me the bird.
(ENGINE STARTS)
Oh, come on.
That's not funny!
That's not even nice.
Hey, come on back here!
I'm gonna call a cop!
Wait a minute.
I don't have any money.
Oh, no! Oh, no!
Well, how did this happen?
Well, Hayden,
that's how it happened.
God! Okay, okay, come on.
Everybody out. Come on!
Shoo, shoo.
(SHOOING)
Well, this is doing
a lot of good.
(SHOOING)
Boy, look at you guys!
Get out of here!
Oh, come on!
(SHOOING)
Hey, look.
Fetchie, fetchie. Fetch!
Hey! Fetch!
Up and move! Fetch!
Fetch!
Fetch!
Hayden...
(EXCLAIMS)
Christine,
what are you doing here?
Well, coming to find you.
Are all these Luther's?
No.
No, I opened the stupid
window and they all flew in.
How do we get them out?
I don't know!
I don't know.
Maybe if I wash my car
and put it out back,
they'll all land on top of it.
I don't know.
I thought you were gonna call
me when you got Sunshine.
I didn't get Sunshine.
I gave the guy $1,200,
he took my sock
and he just drove off.
Why would he do that?
Because he's not
a great guy, Christine.
Jeez, I've been looking for
the guy for an hour and a half.
He's gone.
The sock's gone, the money's
gone, the bird's gone.
Oh, God. I mean, this day
just couldn't get any worse.
Well, wrong again.
What's the matter?
Either I just sat on a tube of
toothpaste, or a bird's been on the couch.
Holy...
Luther!
What are you doing here?
I got worried about Sunshine,
and I thought I'd...
What are all these birds
doing here?
They flew in
through the window, Luth.
Oh. Anyway,
after our conversation
on the phone,
I told Dauber...
I've had the windows open before.
This never happened.
Well, Luth,
there's something I gotta tell you,
and it's not very easy,
so I think maybe
you'd better sit down.
Oh, God,
something's happened to Sunshine.
No, it hasn't.
Oh, God.
Oh, God, my bird!
My best friend! My life!
What happened?
No, nothing's happened.
Sunshine is fine.
Where is he?
He's in a Volkswagen.
He's where?
Yeah.
Okay, listen.
After you left this morning,
I went outside to get the paper
with Sunshine on my shoulder.
And I bent down
to pick up the paper.
(GROANS)
He took off.
What's he doing
in a Volkswagen?
Well, now,
I'm getting to that, okay?
I came back here,
thinking that if ll opened all the windows,
Sunshine might come back here.
While I was here, a guy called on the
phone, said he had Sunshine,
only he wanted
2 $1,000 reward.
That's all?
Yeah. Yeah, so I gave him
the money.
And he stiffed me
and he drove off.
Where does
the Volkswagen come in?
He was driving a Volkswagen!
My bird?
No, the guy!
Jeez!
I'm sorry! I'm rattled.
My bird's been kidnapped!
I don't know what I'm
gonna do without Sunshine.
I'm sorry, you know?
I'm sorry.
No, I'm more than sorry.
I'm heartsick.
You know, this is the worst
thing that's ever happened to me.
Well, how do you think I feel?
I don't know
how I'm gonna go on.
Everything in this apartment
reminds me of my bird.
Oh!
Luther, the only thing
we can tell you
is that we know
how bad you feel.
How do you know
how I feel?
Well, we've all lost
things that we've loved.
Not me.
And I had my whole life set
up so I wouldn't have to.
Don't you see? That's the
whole point of having a parrot.
Luther, you can't go through
life and not suffer a loss.
I mean, that's what
life is all about.
It's birth and death
and everything in between.
I mean, if you haven't
experienced that,
then you haven't really
had a life at all.
He's right, Luther.
It's a hard thing to hear,
but I think what Hayden
is trying to say is true.
I mean, all I can say is, you
know, you're my best friend, Luth,
and I'm sorry I had to bring
this kind of pain into your life.
I mean, I'm really sorry.
I really am.
It's not your fault.
You didn't do anything wrong.
He wouldn't have been on your
shoulder if ]ll hadn't put him there.
If he's gone,
it's my fault.
I guess after 48 years,
he just wanted to go
someplace else for a change.
I don't know
if that's true.
You haven't lived with me
for 48 years.
I wouldn't be surprised if he
wanted to go someplace else.
This is life's way
of telling me
that I need a change.
This floor is ruined,
isn't it?
Well, I never thought
this day would come,
but if it's over, it's over.
I guess it's time for Luther Van
Dam to stand up and get a life.
I'll tell you what.
Why don't you come back to the
cabin tonight and stay with us?
Yeah, Christine's right,
Luth.
You shouldn't be alone
tonight. I mean,
not that you'd be alone here,
but you should be
with people, bud.
I'm sure when all the food runs
out, the birds will leave.
We'll come back tomorrow
and help you clean up.
Okay.
You two go on ahead.
I'll be along in a few minutes.
(SQUAWKS)
Sunshine?
No hope. No hope.
Sunshine, it is you!
Hayden!
Hayden, Christine,
Sunshine's back!
I don't have to get a life
after all!
filmed before a studio audience.
(CHATTERING EXCITEDLY)
(SHUSHING)
(DOOR SLAMMING)
Golf, huh?
Yeah.
Hey, Hayden, you gonna be needing me
and Dauber for anything this weekend?
Well, I'm gonna be
with Christine all weekend.
I can't imagine
why I'd need you guys.
BOTH: All right!
We're going!
Going where?
Luther won an exciting weekend
for two at Lake Bemidji.
Actually, it's for me
and Mrs. Van Dam,
but since there isn't one,
I'm taking Dauber.
This is one of those come-ons
for a timeshare real estate deal.
All they want you to do is get you
up there so they can pressure you
into buying one week a year
at some crummy condo.
Well, I wouldn't mind going to Lake
Bemidji for my vacation every year.
Besides, we're just not going for
the free weekend and the sales pitch.
They also guarantee that we win
one of three fabulous prizes.
"You have won a motor home or
a 26-inch color television set
"or a set of fabulous
stainless steel steak knives."
Which one do you think
you guys won?
The motor home, we hope.
Yeah.
Hey, Hayden, would you mind taking
care of my bird while I'm gone?
Oh, jeez, Luther...
It's no trouble.
Just for a couple of days.
Well...
Please?
Yeah, sure.
All right, all right.
Just do me a favor,
will you?
When you guys go up there,
just be careful.
Don't let them talk you into
anything you don't want.
Don't be gullible.
All right. Thanks, Hayden.
That's good advice.
Yeah. So, Luth,
where's the first place
we're gonna go
in our motor home?
Probably our condo
in Lake Bemidji.
What in the world?
LUTHER: Hi, Hayden.
"Hi, Hayden."
Hi.
What time is it?
6:45.
Were you still in bed?
Yeah. Well, you know what a
sack hound I am on Saturday.
We brought the bird over
so we could get an early
start to Lake Bemidji.
Where do you want me
to put everything?
Well, how much stuff
did you bring?
A lot of stuff, Coach.
Wait a minute.
I thought you said
keeping this bird
wasn't gonna be any trouble.
No trouble. All you're gonna have
to do is feed him, clean his cage,
and keep the humidity
at a tropical 98%.
What?
We brought a humidifier.
Here, this is his food.
Now, here's what you do.
You give him the light food
in the morning
and the dark food
at night.
And absolutely
no in-between-meal snacks.
I don't care
how much he squawks.
And he squawks a lot.
And these are
his vitamins.
You give them to him
with this eyedropper.
You put vitamins
in his eyes?
Of course not.
You put it on his food.
Oh, thank God.
You put the eye drops
in his eyes.
Bet you didn't know
taking care of a bird
was this complicated,
did you, Coach?
(EXCLAIMS)
I thought I heard voices.
What's going on?
Oh, hi, Christine.
You were sleeping late, too, huh?
What?
Luther brought
his bird by.
I was just
giving Hayden instructions.
It's like flying a jet.
Can we see him?
Sure.
Oh, he's beautiful.
LUTHER: His name is Sunshine.
(MIMICKING LUTHER)
"His name is Sunshine."
Well, that's a cheery name.
Hello, Sunshine.
(SQUAWKING) I'm fired, I'm fired.
No hope. I'm fired.
(EXCLAIMS)
They don't really talk,
you know.
They just repeat
what they hear.
How long
have you had him?
Forty-eight years.
You're kidding!
Yeah, my dad gave him to me
when I was 10 years old.
I'll never forget.
He said, "Son, someday there'll come a time
"I won't be around anymore,
"and I want you to have this
bird to remember me by."
The next day, he left.
I never heard that story
before, Luth.
What a nice gesture
on your dad's part.
I didn't know birds like this
lived that long.
Oh, yeah.
They can live to be 100.
That's why
they're such great pets.
You don't have to worry
about losing them.
Hey, can I put him
on your shoulder?
Hell, no.
You might as well
get used to it.
He's gonna have to be
up there twice a day.
What?
You gotta put him on your shoulder
for a half-hour twice a day,
or else he'll go berserk.
What do you mean, berserk?
He'll go berserk.
Cuckoo. Nuts.
He'll squawk his head off.
They'll be able to hear him
clear across the lake.
Well, you never told me that.
I'm gonna hate this!
Oh, no, you're not.
You're going to love it.
Here. Here. He'll give you
a kiss if you want him to.
Well, I don't want him to.
God.
I feel like an ad for rum.
I don't mean to rush,
but we'd better get moving.
Hey, I really
appreciate this, Hayden.
I mean, the trip's gonna be
a lot easier
knowing that Sunshine's
in good hands.
Here. Give me a kiss.
Give me a kiss.
(IN CHILDISH VOICE) Daddy!
You be good for Uncle Hayden.
You be good
for Uncle Hayden, okay?
(LUTHER COOING)
Hey, would you... Luther!
Would you just get the
hell out of here, please?
Hayden, listen,
would you mind turning around
so he doesn't actually
see me leave?
Why?
Well, if he sees me leave,
he's gonna squawk his head off all day.
Oh, jeez.
(WHISPERING) Bye, Christine.
Bye, Hayden.
Well, it's 7:00.
Time to go to work.
Well, I am gonna hate this.
I know you are,
but I think it's really sweet
of you to do this for Luther.
You're probably the only person in
the world he'd trust with this bird.
Oh, lucky me.
(LAUGHING)
I want you to help me
cram him back into his cage.
Hayden, it hasn't been
a half-hour yet.
I don't care.
I'm not walking around
with this stinking parrot
on my shoulder all day.
You don't want him
squawking all day, do you?
No.
Oh, man, this is gonna be
the worst weekend of my life.
Christine, am I ever
gonna have a good weekend?
Why don't you go out
and get the paper?
And I'll start
some pancakes.
By the time they're ready,
you can probably put him back in his cage.
Gee, I hate Luther's father.
There.
Wonder how the North Stars
did last night.
Hayden.
What?
Where's Sunshine?
Huh?
Oh, God!
What happened?
I don't know.
Maybe he fell off
when I bent down
to get the paper.
Jeez, he's not out here!
Oh, you don't think
he flew away, do you?
(SUNSHINE SQUAWKS)
Look! There he is!
(BOTH EXCLAIM)
Here, Sunshine!
(WINGS FLAPPING)
Oh, no! He's flying away!
Hayden, he's flying away!
Sunshine, you get back here!
Sunshine! Come on, boy!
(SUNSHINE SQUAWKING)
Hayden,
what are we gonna do?
I don't know.
I know what I'm gonna do.
I'm gonna go get dressed
and chase him!
(WHISTLES)
It's a green parrot.
It answers to the name of Sunshine.
Well, actually,
that's not true.
If you call out "Sunshine,"
it flies away,
so if you see it,
just trap it.
Don't say anything.
Well, thank you very much for your help. Bye.
Any luck?
We had such
unbelievable luck.
We saw a crested flycatcher,
totally unique for this part of the country,
an incredible specimen
of a blue teal,
an entire nest of bald eagles, not
rare, but always very exciting...
Stuart, I think she was
asking if we found the parrot.
Oh. No.
So who were you calling?
Oh, just some of the families
around the lake.
I thought they could
keep an eye out.
Yeah, well, they're not gonna
see anything now. It's too dark.
God, I just hope for Luther's
sake we find that bird tomorrow.
He'll be devastated
if anything happens to it.
Not to mention how bad
your father's going to feel.
(EXCLAIMS ANGRILY)
I hate that stupid bird.
There you are.
I was starting to get worried about you.
I tracked that bird
over half this county.
I've been up trees,
across streams, on rooftops.
The bird is gone.
I wouldn't
give up hope, sir.
The fortunate thing
about the yellow-naped parrot
is that they never fly
great distances.
Even in the wild, they'll stay in
one small area their entire lives.
Well, thank you,
Charles Darwin.
I was just offering an emotional
branch for us all to cling to.
Oh...
Is it possible
he'd try to fly home?
To Brazil?
No, to Luther's place.
He could. In their native
habitat, they often...
Shut up, Stuart!
You know, that's a good idea.
I never even thought of that.
Dogs and cats do that
all the time.
He could be at Luther's
right now.
STUART: I hope so.
A tropical bird like that
will never survive
a Minnesota night.
Another branch of hope
there, Stu?
Okay, here's what
we're gonna do.
Christine,
you're gonna stay here.
You're gonna
answer phone calls.
I'm gonna go over
to Luther's.
I want you guys
to keep an eye out
at the railroad stations
and the airports.
What?
I don't know what the hell I'm saying.
Just keep looking.
I just want everybody to know
right here and now
that this is officially the
worst weekend I have ever had!
Sunshine? Sunshine?
Are you there, baby?
(WHISTLES)
Man.
Here, Sunshine.
Here, Sunshine.
Come on, baby. Come on.
Sunshine.
Come on.
(WHISTLES)
Sunshine.
Here we go, here we go.
(PHONE RINGS)
Yeah, hello?
Is this Luther Van Dam?
No, this is a friend of his.
Can I take a message?
Would you know if he's missing a
big, green bird?
Yeah. A parrot.
Don't tell me you found him!
Damn thing landed
on my shoulder.
Almost gave me
a heart attack.
Oh, great! Well,
I've been looking for that bird all day.
Hey, where are you?
I'm calling from a phone
booth behind Guy's Market.
Okay, I'll be right there.
Hey, wait. Wait a minute.
How about the reward?
(STAMMERING) Reward, yeah.
Fifty bucks.
I don't think so.
What do you mean?
Well, I could probably
sell him for twice that.
(EXCLAIMS) Okay, okay.
Okay, I'll give you $100.
I don't think so.
Hey, wait a minute.
I'm not gonna give you more than $100.
I mean, it's not even my bird.
The only reason
I'm giving you anything
is 'cause Luther
happens to be my best friend
and it's my fault
the bird's gone.
Oh, I didn't know
you were in a pickle.
How about $500?
$500?
How about you forget it, pal?
Okay.
No! Wait! Hold...
Wait, sir! Hold it. Hold...
Oh, jeez!
Hayden, you idiot!
You had the bird.
Why'd you have to bargain?
God!
(PHONE RINGING)
Please be him.
Hello?
Hi, Hayden.
Luth! What are you
calling for?
To see
how Sunshine was doing.
Christine said you'd gone over
to my apartment. How come?
(STAMMERING) How come?
Sunshine was not happy
at my cabin, Luther.
He's just probably upset 'cause I'm not there.
Let me talk to him.
Talk to him?
Yeah, just put the phone
up to the cage.
The sound of my voice
will probably calm him down.
Oh, yeah, right, sure.
Yeah, okay.
Okay, phone's going over there right
now, Luth. Here we go.
Okay, he's right...
Just a second, now.
Okay, phone's in the cage,
Luth.
Sunshine, Sunshine,
come on, easy.
Oh, boy,
he's real excited, Luth.
I think he knows it's you.
Okay, go ahead.
(IN CHILDISH VOICE) Hi, Sunshine.
How's my birdie?
How's my birdie?
Hayden?
Yeah, right here, Luth.
How come
he's not saying anything?
What's he supposed to say?
Every time I say, "Hi,
Sunshine, how's my birdie,"
he says,
"No hope, no hope."
If he doesn't say "no hope,"
then something's wrong.
Yeah, well, maybe I just had the phone
too far away from the cage, Luth.
I tell you what. I'll put it a little
closer here and you can talk to him.
Just speak a little louder,
if you wouldn't mind. Thank you.
Hi, Sunshine.
How's my birdie?
How's my birdie?
How's my birdie?
(SQUAWKING) No hope, no hope.
How was that, Luth?
He doesn't sound like himself.
Maybe I'd better come home.
Oh, no, no. Come on, don't come home.
No, no, no.
Everything's fine here. Sunshine just misses you.
That's all, believe me.
Everything is fine.
You don't need to worry about a thing.
And listen,
thanks for calling, Luth,
and I'll see you tomorrow night, okay?
Okay. Bye.
Wait a minute, Hayden...
No hope, no hope, no hope.
(PHONE RINGS)
Come on, Luther!
Hello?
Well, cheapskate,
have you had enough time to reconsider?
Thank God it's you!
Yeah, okay, I'll pay you $500.
I don't think so.
The market's gone up.
It's 750 bucks or no bird.
$750? Why, I ought to...
Hayden, Hayden, easy.
Okay, $750 it is.
Gotta go to the cabin, get some cash.
I'll be there in 15 minutes.
Okay.
750 bucks for a stupid bird!
Man, Luther,
you are so much trouble.
No wonder
your father left you.
(SIRENS WAILING)
Psst. Hey, bud! Over here.
Right this way. Here, here, here.
Come over here. Here.
Did you bring the money?
You got the parrot?
Hey, not so fast.
I know you. You're... Who?
Yeah, Hayden Fox.
Right, the coach.
Hey, you're a rich guy.
I want a grand.
What are you talking about?
Hey, I know how much coaches make.
I want $1,000, or no deal.
Give me the parrot!
Give me the parrot!
Hey, hey, hey!
Take it easy.
This car is a classic.
I'm not gonna give you $1,000.
(ENGINE STARTS)
Okay.
No, wait a minute.
Come on, wait a minute.
Turn off the engine!
Turn it off!
I didn't mean that
I wouldn't give you $1,000.
I meant, I don't know
if I got $1,000.
I mean, I just left home, you
know, with my little money sock.
I gotta count it.
$100, $200, $300,
$400, $500,
$600, $700, $800, $900...
Hayden, what the hell
are you doing?
Keep on going.
$1,000, $1,100, $1,200.
I'll take that.
$1,2007
Unless you got more.
Hey, what color
is that sock?
Blue. Why?
I'll take that, too.
All right,
now give me the bird.
(ENGINE STARTS)
Oh, come on.
That's not funny!
That's not even nice.
Hey, come on back here!
I'm gonna call a cop!
Wait a minute.
I don't have any money.
Oh, no! Oh, no!
Well, how did this happen?
Well, Hayden,
that's how it happened.
God! Okay, okay, come on.
Everybody out. Come on!
Shoo, shoo.
(SHOOING)
Well, this is doing
a lot of good.
(SHOOING)
Boy, look at you guys!
Get out of here!
Oh, come on!
(SHOOING)
Hey, look.
Fetchie, fetchie. Fetch!
Hey! Fetch!
Up and move! Fetch!
Fetch!
Fetch!
Hayden...
(EXCLAIMS)
Christine,
what are you doing here?
Well, coming to find you.
Are all these Luther's?
No.
No, I opened the stupid
window and they all flew in.
How do we get them out?
I don't know!
I don't know.
Maybe if I wash my car
and put it out back,
they'll all land on top of it.
I don't know.
I thought you were gonna call
me when you got Sunshine.
I didn't get Sunshine.
I gave the guy $1,200,
he took my sock
and he just drove off.
Why would he do that?
Because he's not
a great guy, Christine.
Jeez, I've been looking for
the guy for an hour and a half.
He's gone.
The sock's gone, the money's
gone, the bird's gone.
Oh, God. I mean, this day
just couldn't get any worse.
Well, wrong again.
What's the matter?
Either I just sat on a tube of
toothpaste, or a bird's been on the couch.
Holy...
Luther!
What are you doing here?
I got worried about Sunshine,
and I thought I'd...
What are all these birds
doing here?
They flew in
through the window, Luth.
Oh. Anyway,
after our conversation
on the phone,
I told Dauber...
I've had the windows open before.
This never happened.
Well, Luth,
there's something I gotta tell you,
and it's not very easy,
so I think maybe
you'd better sit down.
Oh, God,
something's happened to Sunshine.
No, it hasn't.
Oh, God.
Oh, God, my bird!
My best friend! My life!
What happened?
No, nothing's happened.
Sunshine is fine.
Where is he?
He's in a Volkswagen.
He's where?
Yeah.
Okay, listen.
After you left this morning,
I went outside to get the paper
with Sunshine on my shoulder.
And I bent down
to pick up the paper.
(GROANS)
He took off.
What's he doing
in a Volkswagen?
Well, now,
I'm getting to that, okay?
I came back here,
thinking that if ll opened all the windows,
Sunshine might come back here.
While I was here, a guy called on the
phone, said he had Sunshine,
only he wanted
2 $1,000 reward.
That's all?
Yeah. Yeah, so I gave him
the money.
And he stiffed me
and he drove off.
Where does
the Volkswagen come in?
He was driving a Volkswagen!
My bird?
No, the guy!
Jeez!
I'm sorry! I'm rattled.
My bird's been kidnapped!
I don't know what I'm
gonna do without Sunshine.
I'm sorry, you know?
I'm sorry.
No, I'm more than sorry.
I'm heartsick.
You know, this is the worst
thing that's ever happened to me.
Well, how do you think I feel?
I don't know
how I'm gonna go on.
Everything in this apartment
reminds me of my bird.
Oh!
Luther, the only thing
we can tell you
is that we know
how bad you feel.
How do you know
how I feel?
Well, we've all lost
things that we've loved.
Not me.
And I had my whole life set
up so I wouldn't have to.
Don't you see? That's the
whole point of having a parrot.
Luther, you can't go through
life and not suffer a loss.
I mean, that's what
life is all about.
It's birth and death
and everything in between.
I mean, if you haven't
experienced that,
then you haven't really
had a life at all.
He's right, Luther.
It's a hard thing to hear,
but I think what Hayden
is trying to say is true.
I mean, all I can say is, you
know, you're my best friend, Luth,
and I'm sorry I had to bring
this kind of pain into your life.
I mean, I'm really sorry.
I really am.
It's not your fault.
You didn't do anything wrong.
He wouldn't have been on your
shoulder if ]ll hadn't put him there.
If he's gone,
it's my fault.
I guess after 48 years,
he just wanted to go
someplace else for a change.
I don't know
if that's true.
You haven't lived with me
for 48 years.
I wouldn't be surprised if he
wanted to go someplace else.
This is life's way
of telling me
that I need a change.
This floor is ruined,
isn't it?
Well, I never thought
this day would come,
but if it's over, it's over.
I guess it's time for Luther Van
Dam to stand up and get a life.
I'll tell you what.
Why don't you come back to the
cabin tonight and stay with us?
Yeah, Christine's right,
Luth.
You shouldn't be alone
tonight. I mean,
not that you'd be alone here,
but you should be
with people, bud.
I'm sure when all the food runs
out, the birds will leave.
We'll come back tomorrow
and help you clean up.
Okay.
You two go on ahead.
I'll be along in a few minutes.
(SQUAWKS)
Sunshine?
No hope. No hope.
Sunshine, it is you!
Hayden!
Hayden, Christine,
Sunshine's back!
I don't have to get a life
after all!