Coach (1989–1997): Season 2, Episode 14 - Haven't I Slept with You Somewhere Before? - full transcript
FEMALE NARRATOR: Coach is
filmed before a studio audience.
Hey, Daub.
Is my dad around?
I was just on my way to
change my class schedule
and I just wanted to ask
his opinion on something.
Hey, if you've got
some scheduling problems,
maybe I could help.
If there's one thing that eight
years at college has taught me,
it's how to make out
a schedule.
Whoa! This is a killer!
Too much work?
No, too much walking.
English at 8:30?
That's clear on the other side of campus.
Your first class
should be close to home.
Take African Studies,
page 38.
Then, right before lunch
you've got Economics.
That's a mile
from the cafeteria.
You want Principles of
Recreation, page 76.
And your last class
of the day is French.
Again, you want to be
close to home.
Take Violence in
the American Cinema.
It's fun and close.
See, if you make out
your schedule this way,
you'll never have to
walk too far
and you'll never
be late for class.
But I also won't
fill my requirements.
I mean, if I make my schedule
your way, I'll never graduate.
Huh.
You may have found
the flaw in my system.
Boy, college is hard.
Hey, Kelly.
What's up, honey?
I came by to ask your advice
on my class schedule.
I was thinking of
dropping European History
and taking Survey of
Western Civilization instead,
but I wanted to see
what you thought.
Oh, coming to your old dad
for advice, huh?
I guess that history degree
of mine is finally paying off.
Well, let me take a look.
What do you got?
Western Civilization,
well, with that,
you've got your Greeks
and your Romans.
With European, you've got your
old Huns and your Gauls...
I was actually asking
about the professors.
I know you're feuding
with half the faculty.
I wanted to know if you had a
problem with either of these guys.
Papandreus
and Newhauser, huh?
Nope.
These guys are clean.
Thanks, Dad.
Any time.
Hayden... Oh, hi, Kelly.
Hayden, do we have a hacksaw
or bolt cutters or anything?
What do you need
a hacksaw for?
Old Fred here had a little accident.
Show him, Fred.
Oh, geez, Fred. How did you get
your hand stuck in your helmet?
It's not my helmet, Coach.
It's Danny's.
Danny was eating a Snickers
bar, and Fred went for it.
Well, he never shares.
Kelly, would you take Fred down to maintenance
and see if you can get this off him?
Sure. Come on, Fred.
We'll see you guys later.
From now on, Luther, if he's
hungry, feed him, all right?
I can't afford to keep
replacing this equipment.
Hayden, Luther.
Hey, Howard,
how you doing?
Have you got any of those little stomach tablets?
I could use some about now.
Yeah, sure.
What's up, Howard?
As Athletic Director, I,
along with some of the other top brass,
was just at
the administration building
for the announcement of
the new University President.
And? And I have some
horrifying news.
For some unfathomable reason
they've chosen a woman.
A woman?
Let me have some of those.
I knew you'd be upset.
I'm not upset.
I don't care who the President is.
I've spent half my career steamrolling
whatever geezer is in office.
I can steamroll
a geezerette just as easy.
She's not a geezerette,
Hayden.
She's a bright, young woman who is
fiercely committed to academics.
And frankly,
that scares me.
Guys, just because she's a woman
doesn't mean she's going to hate sports.
I mean, this is
the 20th century.
We're going to be
making a big mistake here
if we treat her any differently
than if she were a man.
You know what
I'm going to do?
I'm going to have Mrs.
Thorkelson send her a big box of flowers.
I like that.
You know, he's right.
Why are we panicking?
So she's a woman.
We've got the Fox.
And if the Fox can't handle a hen, who can?
I don't know what
I was worried about.
Okay, so what's her name?
Elaine Tewksbury.
Elaine Tewksbury?
Yeah.
Dr. Elaine Tewksbury
from Miami?
Yeah, you know her?
Five feet, five inches? Brown hair?
Sort of on the gorgeous side?
You do know her.
Know her? I slept with her.
HOWARD: What?
You slept with her?
She just got here this morning!
Not this morning, Howard.
It was about five years ago. We had a game in Miami
and after the game, I went to this
party and I met this Elaine Tewksbury.
She was on the faculty there.
Economics.
I wouldn't know.
Economics never came up.
The point is, we hit it off
and ended up spending this incredible
weekend at the Blue Lagoon Motor Hotel.
My God, you've slept
with our President!
If you guys had
an incredible weekend,
then that could be good,
couldn't it? I mean, for us.
It could have been,
but it won't be.
Why? What did you do?
Well, you know how it is
after a weekend like that.
I didn't want to lead her on
into thinking we were going to have a
relationship when I knew we wouldn't,
so instead of playing some
charade, when Sunday morning came,
I told her I was
going out for some ice
and never went back.
You snuck out
on our President?
Geez, Hayden!
She's going to hate you!
You think so?
I know so.
The same exact thing
happened to me once.
I took a girl to a hotel room,
had a great night.
The next morning
she snuck out.
I never got over it.
You didn't take
her wallet did you?
No!
Well, at least there's that.
Well, you've really done it
this time, Hayden.
You have jeopardized
the whole department.
Wait a minute, Howie. Let's not panic.
Maybe she's forgotten.
How could she forget,
unless a safe fell on her head?
Right. I couldn't be
that lucky, could 1?
What do you think
she's going to do?
I don't know, but I'm not going to
sit here and just wait to find out.
We always tell the team to play the
ball, don't let the ball play you.
So what I got to do here
is go on the offensive.
I've got to call her
before she calls me.
(PHONE RINGING)
It's the ball.
Nah, it couldn't be.
(IN HOARSE VOICE)
Hello? Who wants him?
I'll give him the message.
The queen of
the Blue Lagoon?
She wants to see me
in five minutes.
No way out,
no way out.
I knew this was going to
come back to haunt me.
I did a crummy thing and now
I'm gonna have to pay for it.
It just doesn't seem fair.
Luth?
(INTERCOM BUZZING)
Yes, Randall?
Dr. Tewksbury,
Coach Fox is here to see you.
Thank you, Randall.
Send him in.
Oh, there you are.
Boy, that ice machine was further
down the hall than I thought.
That's good, Hayden.
So you do remember.
Yeah, well, I was just trying to
think of something to keep this light.
Elaine... I can still
call you Elaine, can't 1?
You've seen me naked.
Dr. Tewksbury seems a little formal.
Yeah.
Elaine,
before you say anything
there are a few things
you should know.
First of all, I'm sorry.
For what?
Oh, God...
For running out on you five years
ago without saying good-bye.
No, you're not.
If you were sorry for that,
you could have called me or written me.
What you're sorry about is
that now I'm your superior.
And you're in trouble.
Whew. All right, yeah,
okay, well, I deserve that.
But there's a reason
why I didn't call or write.
I was ashamed.
But I want you to know
I'm not that kind of guy.
I've never done anything
like that before or since.
Was there just something
special about me?
No, there's nothing
special about you.
Hey, I didn't mean that.
Look, for what it's worth, I didn't run
out that morning because I didn't like you.
Elaine, I ran out on you because I
wasn't ready to have a relationship.
Oh, please.
No, really. I wasn't!
So you just did the brave
thing and snuck out?
(SIGHS)
Elaine, I mean, all right.
You have every right
to be angry, Elaine.
Today is kind of like
a new beginning, right?
You've got this great new job,
and it's well-deserved,
and I've got a great new boss,
which personally I'm thrilled about.
It's kind of like when the new king
comes to town and just pardons everybody.
You know something?
You were a classy lady back then
and I just hope that
you're a classy lady now,
and that just somehow
you find it in your heart
just to forgive me.
Well, Hayden,
I have to be honest.
I don't know if I can ever forgive you.
That might be asking too much.
But I like to
think of myself as fair.
Maybe I can suggest some middle
ground, where we can both be happy.
What's that?
You're fired.
What?
Oops.
Only one of us is happy.
HAYDEN: You can't mean this.
ELAINE: I've been planning
this for five years.
Wow, is that sick, Elaine!
You've been planning to get this job for
five years just so you could fire me?
No, I've been planning how to
get back at you for five years.
This was just
a magnificent stroke of luck.
Wait a minute. You can't fire me.
You don't have the authority.
Read my contract.
Really? Okay, maybe
you do have the authority.
But what are you going
to give as a reason?
I went out for ice
and never came back?
I'll just tell them
I think we can do better.
How are you going to find 3 better
coach than me for this money?
We'll spend more money.
They won't let you
spend more money.
Read my contract.
Really?
Hayden, what you did was unforgivable and
I'm not going to let you get away with it.
You are out. You are fired.
You have had it.
I can't believe this is it.
I'm really finished?
I'm not?
No, I'm not going to fire you.
Who am I kidding?
You were kidding?
You're fired.
Get out. I mean it.
I thought you just said...
l know what I just said.
Forget it. It's impossible.
I can't work with you.
I can't look at your face
every day.
I live in the basement.
You won't see my face.
Do you know
what it was like for me
that morning in Miami
when you didn't come back?
I don't do that kind of thing
all the time, Hayden.
I never do
that kind of thing.
Spend the weekend
with a man I've just met.
I have a PhD for God's sake!
But I trusted you.
I was even worried about you at first.
I thought maybe you slipped
on a piece of ice and fell.
I kept thinking of you lying lifeless
at the bottom of a stairwell.
Then, as the moments passed,
I began to fantasize about it.
Do you know how
I felt that morning
when I had to pick my clothes up
off the floor and put them back on?
And then skulk through
the lobby on my way out?
Only to be stopped by the manager
because the bill hadn't been paid?
Do you know
what it's like to stand there
in your evening gown
at 8:00 in the morning
searching for your Visa card?
My God, there were families with children
walking by on their way to the beach!
I was mortified!
Geez, I didn't pay the bill?
Here, let me take care
of it now. How much was it?
Forget the bill! Forget the whole thing!
Get out of here!
Am I fired?
Of course you're fired.
I don't know,
I'm a little lost here.
You're fired! Go!
I'm going.
(GROANS)
Wait a minute.
What am I doing?
You're doing the very thing you
promised yourself you wouldn't do.
Don't let him
do this to you.
I'm a master of self-control
and I'm going
to get past this.
Miami never happened
and you're not fired.
I'm not?
We'll find some way
to work this out.
We'll find some way to cope.
We'll find some way to...
It's no use. I hate your guts.
You're fired!
Again?
You heard what I said!
You're fired! I despise you!
Now get out of here
before I do something crazy!
I'd ask you to reconsider,
but I think you've given this a lot of thought.
Maybe too much.
Go on! Beat it!
I'm going.
Now, just calm down.
(SIGHS)
Do you want me to check back later
in case you change your mind?
(SCREAMS)
We're back.
Yeah, what do you want me to do with this?
I'll take it.
How's your hand, Fred?
It's got a little
friction burn.
Did they try
putting butter on it?
Tons, but Freddie
licked it off.
I don't know what happens.
I see food and
my mind short-circuits.
The next thing I know my hand's
some place it's not supposed to be.
I'm going to take him
to the trainer.
Well, don't go by
the locker room.
The guy in the towel cage
is eating a sandwich.
Thanks for the tip.
Fred? Oh, no...
(CAGE RATTLING)
(MAN SCREAMING)
It really makes
you understand
why they want you to roll up
your car windows at Yellowstone.
There you are.
How did it go?
I think I'm fired.
Fired?
Oh, come on, she's not going to fire you.
You're the Fox.
Boy, she did it.
I tell you,
that woman is nuts.
It's like the loon of
the Blue Lagoon over there.
I can't believe this.
Six years of your life
you've given to this school.
You're the best football coach
they've ever had.
You've had
two All-Americans,
you graduate more seniors than
any coach in the division.
Did she say anything
about me?
Yeah, Luther, she specifically
asked that you take over.
Really?
Of course not.
I stepped into that,
I guess.
Hayden, this is unbelievable.
I wish like heck there was
something I could do.
You are the Athletic Director,
Howard.
I know, and that's what
makes it so darn frustrating.
I just wish there was
something I could do.
I think I'm getting
what I deserve here.
No, this isn't what you deserve.
You made a mistake. Okay.
So she should demand an apology,
not take away your livelihood.
You know, she's treading on
very thin ice here, Hayden.
If it ever got out why she fired
you, it could look very bad for her.
Wait a second.
You didn't get this from me,
but why don't you threaten to hold a press conference?
What good would that do?
Elaine Tewksbury's
record is spotless.
As far as we know you're
the only black smudge on it.
She can't afford to have this all
come out publicly. It would ruin her.
If you threaten to expose her,
I know that she'll back down.
I can't do that.
Sure you can.
I don't know.
What do you guys think?
It doesn't matter
what they think.
That's what
I was thinking.
Boy, I tell you...
ll mean, I don't know
how this could happen.
All I did was take a woman I
didn't know to a Miami hotel.
How did it turn into
something sleazy?
ELAINE: Let's make the meeting with
all the department heads on Tuesday,
and see if we can push
the trustees to Wednesday.
And let's set up
a luncheon with...
(INTERCOM BUZZES)
Just a second. Yes, Randall.
Hayden Fox
is...in your office.
Thank you, Randall.
I'll have to call you back.
What are you doing here?
We have to talk.
We've already talked.
I have nothing more to say to you.
Well, I've got something
to say to you.
You know, Elaine, it took me a
lot of years to get where I am,
and I'm not going to
give up without a fight.
Well, I'm not going to have a man
working for me who I don't respect.
Yeah, you are.
What are you talking about?
Well, you know,
if you fire me, Elaine,
I'm going to have to hold
a press conference
and tell everybody
why you fired me.
And then, oh, golly,
the press is going to come down on you,
and it's going to be
like a sex scandal,
it's going to make a lousy
first impression, Elaine.
You want to call
your press conference?
Fine. I call your bluff.
It's not a bluff!
Here's the phone.
Are you willing
to do this?
Are you going to risk losing
everything you've worked for?
Is there a number
I can get for you?
Extension 312.
That's the University press office.
That is the press office.
Boy, you don't trust me
at all, do you?
Hayden, you scum. I thought what
you did five years ago was low,
but you keep sinking lower.
Hey, I'm just trying
to save my job.
Damn you. It's no use.
I can't get even.
You win again.
I hope you're happy.
Scum - 2, Elaine - nothing.
I'm not happy
about any of this.
Just get out of my sight.
Wait a minute.
I can't do this.
Do what?
I can't do another crummy thing
to you just to keep my job.
What are you saying?
I'm saying you don't have to fire me.
I'm firing me.
Hayden, you're fired!
Attaboy!
Now, we're even, huh? You win.
Scum - 1, Elaine - 1.
I mean, this is crazy,
that I have to lose my job to prove
to you that I'm sorry about Miami,
but if that's what it takes,
that's what I'm gonna do,
because, damn it, Elaine,
I really am sorry.
Okay? Now I'm just going to
go clean out my office.
And I want to
tell you something.
I am so glad, I am feeling
free, that this is over.
Okay?
Wait a minute.
You're not fired.
You are giving me
a stroke here, Elaine.
I mean it.
This is the first decent thing
I've seen you do.
As long as you have some bit of
integrity, maybe we can work together.
I mean, this is what
I was looking for.
Hayden, I don't see why
we can't both
just forget the whole thing
and start today
with a clean slate.
Is this what you really want?
This is what I want.
Are you sure?
I have never been more sure
of anything in my life.
Elaine, you're sure?
I'm sure.
Hold it.
Come on, Elaine, you know,
you said you were sure.
I just can't do it, Hayden.
I'm sorry.
Can't do what? You can't hire me?
Can't fire me?
Can't stop loving that man?
What can't you do?
I can't let you walk out that
door without getting even.
Doing one decent thing still doesn't
make up for five years of torment.
It's a start.
See, what bothers me is,
you still don't know how I felt that morning.
When you walk out
of this office,
you don't have to walk downstairs,
past all the secretaries,
having everyone
staring at you,
knowing another human being
has humiliated you.
That's the experience
I want you to have.
And that's the one thing
I can't seem to get at.
It's tough.
I'll see you tomorrow.
Freeze!
Of course!
I just thought of it!
There's a way.
There is?
Yes. And it's so simple.
HAYDEN: Oh, no.
Yeah, that's it.
Now I feel better.
Now you can go.
You know, I really think our
working together is going to be fun.
Yeah.
filmed before a studio audience.
Hey, Daub.
Is my dad around?
I was just on my way to
change my class schedule
and I just wanted to ask
his opinion on something.
Hey, if you've got
some scheduling problems,
maybe I could help.
If there's one thing that eight
years at college has taught me,
it's how to make out
a schedule.
Whoa! This is a killer!
Too much work?
No, too much walking.
English at 8:30?
That's clear on the other side of campus.
Your first class
should be close to home.
Take African Studies,
page 38.
Then, right before lunch
you've got Economics.
That's a mile
from the cafeteria.
You want Principles of
Recreation, page 76.
And your last class
of the day is French.
Again, you want to be
close to home.
Take Violence in
the American Cinema.
It's fun and close.
See, if you make out
your schedule this way,
you'll never have to
walk too far
and you'll never
be late for class.
But I also won't
fill my requirements.
I mean, if I make my schedule
your way, I'll never graduate.
Huh.
You may have found
the flaw in my system.
Boy, college is hard.
Hey, Kelly.
What's up, honey?
I came by to ask your advice
on my class schedule.
I was thinking of
dropping European History
and taking Survey of
Western Civilization instead,
but I wanted to see
what you thought.
Oh, coming to your old dad
for advice, huh?
I guess that history degree
of mine is finally paying off.
Well, let me take a look.
What do you got?
Western Civilization,
well, with that,
you've got your Greeks
and your Romans.
With European, you've got your
old Huns and your Gauls...
I was actually asking
about the professors.
I know you're feuding
with half the faculty.
I wanted to know if you had a
problem with either of these guys.
Papandreus
and Newhauser, huh?
Nope.
These guys are clean.
Thanks, Dad.
Any time.
Hayden... Oh, hi, Kelly.
Hayden, do we have a hacksaw
or bolt cutters or anything?
What do you need
a hacksaw for?
Old Fred here had a little accident.
Show him, Fred.
Oh, geez, Fred. How did you get
your hand stuck in your helmet?
It's not my helmet, Coach.
It's Danny's.
Danny was eating a Snickers
bar, and Fred went for it.
Well, he never shares.
Kelly, would you take Fred down to maintenance
and see if you can get this off him?
Sure. Come on, Fred.
We'll see you guys later.
From now on, Luther, if he's
hungry, feed him, all right?
I can't afford to keep
replacing this equipment.
Hayden, Luther.
Hey, Howard,
how you doing?
Have you got any of those little stomach tablets?
I could use some about now.
Yeah, sure.
What's up, Howard?
As Athletic Director, I,
along with some of the other top brass,
was just at
the administration building
for the announcement of
the new University President.
And? And I have some
horrifying news.
For some unfathomable reason
they've chosen a woman.
A woman?
Let me have some of those.
I knew you'd be upset.
I'm not upset.
I don't care who the President is.
I've spent half my career steamrolling
whatever geezer is in office.
I can steamroll
a geezerette just as easy.
She's not a geezerette,
Hayden.
She's a bright, young woman who is
fiercely committed to academics.
And frankly,
that scares me.
Guys, just because she's a woman
doesn't mean she's going to hate sports.
I mean, this is
the 20th century.
We're going to be
making a big mistake here
if we treat her any differently
than if she were a man.
You know what
I'm going to do?
I'm going to have Mrs.
Thorkelson send her a big box of flowers.
I like that.
You know, he's right.
Why are we panicking?
So she's a woman.
We've got the Fox.
And if the Fox can't handle a hen, who can?
I don't know what
I was worried about.
Okay, so what's her name?
Elaine Tewksbury.
Elaine Tewksbury?
Yeah.
Dr. Elaine Tewksbury
from Miami?
Yeah, you know her?
Five feet, five inches? Brown hair?
Sort of on the gorgeous side?
You do know her.
Know her? I slept with her.
HOWARD: What?
You slept with her?
She just got here this morning!
Not this morning, Howard.
It was about five years ago. We had a game in Miami
and after the game, I went to this
party and I met this Elaine Tewksbury.
She was on the faculty there.
Economics.
I wouldn't know.
Economics never came up.
The point is, we hit it off
and ended up spending this incredible
weekend at the Blue Lagoon Motor Hotel.
My God, you've slept
with our President!
If you guys had
an incredible weekend,
then that could be good,
couldn't it? I mean, for us.
It could have been,
but it won't be.
Why? What did you do?
Well, you know how it is
after a weekend like that.
I didn't want to lead her on
into thinking we were going to have a
relationship when I knew we wouldn't,
so instead of playing some
charade, when Sunday morning came,
I told her I was
going out for some ice
and never went back.
You snuck out
on our President?
Geez, Hayden!
She's going to hate you!
You think so?
I know so.
The same exact thing
happened to me once.
I took a girl to a hotel room,
had a great night.
The next morning
she snuck out.
I never got over it.
You didn't take
her wallet did you?
No!
Well, at least there's that.
Well, you've really done it
this time, Hayden.
You have jeopardized
the whole department.
Wait a minute, Howie. Let's not panic.
Maybe she's forgotten.
How could she forget,
unless a safe fell on her head?
Right. I couldn't be
that lucky, could 1?
What do you think
she's going to do?
I don't know, but I'm not going to
sit here and just wait to find out.
We always tell the team to play the
ball, don't let the ball play you.
So what I got to do here
is go on the offensive.
I've got to call her
before she calls me.
(PHONE RINGING)
It's the ball.
Nah, it couldn't be.
(IN HOARSE VOICE)
Hello? Who wants him?
I'll give him the message.
The queen of
the Blue Lagoon?
She wants to see me
in five minutes.
No way out,
no way out.
I knew this was going to
come back to haunt me.
I did a crummy thing and now
I'm gonna have to pay for it.
It just doesn't seem fair.
Luth?
(INTERCOM BUZZING)
Yes, Randall?
Dr. Tewksbury,
Coach Fox is here to see you.
Thank you, Randall.
Send him in.
Oh, there you are.
Boy, that ice machine was further
down the hall than I thought.
That's good, Hayden.
So you do remember.
Yeah, well, I was just trying to
think of something to keep this light.
Elaine... I can still
call you Elaine, can't 1?
You've seen me naked.
Dr. Tewksbury seems a little formal.
Yeah.
Elaine,
before you say anything
there are a few things
you should know.
First of all, I'm sorry.
For what?
Oh, God...
For running out on you five years
ago without saying good-bye.
No, you're not.
If you were sorry for that,
you could have called me or written me.
What you're sorry about is
that now I'm your superior.
And you're in trouble.
Whew. All right, yeah,
okay, well, I deserve that.
But there's a reason
why I didn't call or write.
I was ashamed.
But I want you to know
I'm not that kind of guy.
I've never done anything
like that before or since.
Was there just something
special about me?
No, there's nothing
special about you.
Hey, I didn't mean that.
Look, for what it's worth, I didn't run
out that morning because I didn't like you.
Elaine, I ran out on you because I
wasn't ready to have a relationship.
Oh, please.
No, really. I wasn't!
So you just did the brave
thing and snuck out?
(SIGHS)
Elaine, I mean, all right.
You have every right
to be angry, Elaine.
Today is kind of like
a new beginning, right?
You've got this great new job,
and it's well-deserved,
and I've got a great new boss,
which personally I'm thrilled about.
It's kind of like when the new king
comes to town and just pardons everybody.
You know something?
You were a classy lady back then
and I just hope that
you're a classy lady now,
and that just somehow
you find it in your heart
just to forgive me.
Well, Hayden,
I have to be honest.
I don't know if I can ever forgive you.
That might be asking too much.
But I like to
think of myself as fair.
Maybe I can suggest some middle
ground, where we can both be happy.
What's that?
You're fired.
What?
Oops.
Only one of us is happy.
HAYDEN: You can't mean this.
ELAINE: I've been planning
this for five years.
Wow, is that sick, Elaine!
You've been planning to get this job for
five years just so you could fire me?
No, I've been planning how to
get back at you for five years.
This was just
a magnificent stroke of luck.
Wait a minute. You can't fire me.
You don't have the authority.
Read my contract.
Really? Okay, maybe
you do have the authority.
But what are you going
to give as a reason?
I went out for ice
and never came back?
I'll just tell them
I think we can do better.
How are you going to find 3 better
coach than me for this money?
We'll spend more money.
They won't let you
spend more money.
Read my contract.
Really?
Hayden, what you did was unforgivable and
I'm not going to let you get away with it.
You are out. You are fired.
You have had it.
I can't believe this is it.
I'm really finished?
I'm not?
No, I'm not going to fire you.
Who am I kidding?
You were kidding?
You're fired.
Get out. I mean it.
I thought you just said...
l know what I just said.
Forget it. It's impossible.
I can't work with you.
I can't look at your face
every day.
I live in the basement.
You won't see my face.
Do you know
what it was like for me
that morning in Miami
when you didn't come back?
I don't do that kind of thing
all the time, Hayden.
I never do
that kind of thing.
Spend the weekend
with a man I've just met.
I have a PhD for God's sake!
But I trusted you.
I was even worried about you at first.
I thought maybe you slipped
on a piece of ice and fell.
I kept thinking of you lying lifeless
at the bottom of a stairwell.
Then, as the moments passed,
I began to fantasize about it.
Do you know how
I felt that morning
when I had to pick my clothes up
off the floor and put them back on?
And then skulk through
the lobby on my way out?
Only to be stopped by the manager
because the bill hadn't been paid?
Do you know
what it's like to stand there
in your evening gown
at 8:00 in the morning
searching for your Visa card?
My God, there were families with children
walking by on their way to the beach!
I was mortified!
Geez, I didn't pay the bill?
Here, let me take care
of it now. How much was it?
Forget the bill! Forget the whole thing!
Get out of here!
Am I fired?
Of course you're fired.
I don't know,
I'm a little lost here.
You're fired! Go!
I'm going.
(GROANS)
Wait a minute.
What am I doing?
You're doing the very thing you
promised yourself you wouldn't do.
Don't let him
do this to you.
I'm a master of self-control
and I'm going
to get past this.
Miami never happened
and you're not fired.
I'm not?
We'll find some way
to work this out.
We'll find some way to cope.
We'll find some way to...
It's no use. I hate your guts.
You're fired!
Again?
You heard what I said!
You're fired! I despise you!
Now get out of here
before I do something crazy!
I'd ask you to reconsider,
but I think you've given this a lot of thought.
Maybe too much.
Go on! Beat it!
I'm going.
Now, just calm down.
(SIGHS)
Do you want me to check back later
in case you change your mind?
(SCREAMS)
We're back.
Yeah, what do you want me to do with this?
I'll take it.
How's your hand, Fred?
It's got a little
friction burn.
Did they try
putting butter on it?
Tons, but Freddie
licked it off.
I don't know what happens.
I see food and
my mind short-circuits.
The next thing I know my hand's
some place it's not supposed to be.
I'm going to take him
to the trainer.
Well, don't go by
the locker room.
The guy in the towel cage
is eating a sandwich.
Thanks for the tip.
Fred? Oh, no...
(CAGE RATTLING)
(MAN SCREAMING)
It really makes
you understand
why they want you to roll up
your car windows at Yellowstone.
There you are.
How did it go?
I think I'm fired.
Fired?
Oh, come on, she's not going to fire you.
You're the Fox.
Boy, she did it.
I tell you,
that woman is nuts.
It's like the loon of
the Blue Lagoon over there.
I can't believe this.
Six years of your life
you've given to this school.
You're the best football coach
they've ever had.
You've had
two All-Americans,
you graduate more seniors than
any coach in the division.
Did she say anything
about me?
Yeah, Luther, she specifically
asked that you take over.
Really?
Of course not.
I stepped into that,
I guess.
Hayden, this is unbelievable.
I wish like heck there was
something I could do.
You are the Athletic Director,
Howard.
I know, and that's what
makes it so darn frustrating.
I just wish there was
something I could do.
I think I'm getting
what I deserve here.
No, this isn't what you deserve.
You made a mistake. Okay.
So she should demand an apology,
not take away your livelihood.
You know, she's treading on
very thin ice here, Hayden.
If it ever got out why she fired
you, it could look very bad for her.
Wait a second.
You didn't get this from me,
but why don't you threaten to hold a press conference?
What good would that do?
Elaine Tewksbury's
record is spotless.
As far as we know you're
the only black smudge on it.
She can't afford to have this all
come out publicly. It would ruin her.
If you threaten to expose her,
I know that she'll back down.
I can't do that.
Sure you can.
I don't know.
What do you guys think?
It doesn't matter
what they think.
That's what
I was thinking.
Boy, I tell you...
ll mean, I don't know
how this could happen.
All I did was take a woman I
didn't know to a Miami hotel.
How did it turn into
something sleazy?
ELAINE: Let's make the meeting with
all the department heads on Tuesday,
and see if we can push
the trustees to Wednesday.
And let's set up
a luncheon with...
(INTERCOM BUZZES)
Just a second. Yes, Randall.
Hayden Fox
is...in your office.
Thank you, Randall.
I'll have to call you back.
What are you doing here?
We have to talk.
We've already talked.
I have nothing more to say to you.
Well, I've got something
to say to you.
You know, Elaine, it took me a
lot of years to get where I am,
and I'm not going to
give up without a fight.
Well, I'm not going to have a man
working for me who I don't respect.
Yeah, you are.
What are you talking about?
Well, you know,
if you fire me, Elaine,
I'm going to have to hold
a press conference
and tell everybody
why you fired me.
And then, oh, golly,
the press is going to come down on you,
and it's going to be
like a sex scandal,
it's going to make a lousy
first impression, Elaine.
You want to call
your press conference?
Fine. I call your bluff.
It's not a bluff!
Here's the phone.
Are you willing
to do this?
Are you going to risk losing
everything you've worked for?
Is there a number
I can get for you?
Extension 312.
That's the University press office.
That is the press office.
Boy, you don't trust me
at all, do you?
Hayden, you scum. I thought what
you did five years ago was low,
but you keep sinking lower.
Hey, I'm just trying
to save my job.
Damn you. It's no use.
I can't get even.
You win again.
I hope you're happy.
Scum - 2, Elaine - nothing.
I'm not happy
about any of this.
Just get out of my sight.
Wait a minute.
I can't do this.
Do what?
I can't do another crummy thing
to you just to keep my job.
What are you saying?
I'm saying you don't have to fire me.
I'm firing me.
Hayden, you're fired!
Attaboy!
Now, we're even, huh? You win.
Scum - 1, Elaine - 1.
I mean, this is crazy,
that I have to lose my job to prove
to you that I'm sorry about Miami,
but if that's what it takes,
that's what I'm gonna do,
because, damn it, Elaine,
I really am sorry.
Okay? Now I'm just going to
go clean out my office.
And I want to
tell you something.
I am so glad, I am feeling
free, that this is over.
Okay?
Wait a minute.
You're not fired.
You are giving me
a stroke here, Elaine.
I mean it.
This is the first decent thing
I've seen you do.
As long as you have some bit of
integrity, maybe we can work together.
I mean, this is what
I was looking for.
Hayden, I don't see why
we can't both
just forget the whole thing
and start today
with a clean slate.
Is this what you really want?
This is what I want.
Are you sure?
I have never been more sure
of anything in my life.
Elaine, you're sure?
I'm sure.
Hold it.
Come on, Elaine, you know,
you said you were sure.
I just can't do it, Hayden.
I'm sorry.
Can't do what? You can't hire me?
Can't fire me?
Can't stop loving that man?
What can't you do?
I can't let you walk out that
door without getting even.
Doing one decent thing still doesn't
make up for five years of torment.
It's a start.
See, what bothers me is,
you still don't know how I felt that morning.
When you walk out
of this office,
you don't have to walk downstairs,
past all the secretaries,
having everyone
staring at you,
knowing another human being
has humiliated you.
That's the experience
I want you to have.
And that's the one thing
I can't seem to get at.
It's tough.
I'll see you tomorrow.
Freeze!
Of course!
I just thought of it!
There's a way.
There is?
Yes. And it's so simple.
HAYDEN: Oh, no.
Yeah, that's it.
Now I feel better.
Now you can go.
You know, I really think our
working together is going to be fun.
Yeah.