Coach (1989–1997): Season 2, Episode 1 - I Don't Know Much About Art, But I Know What Makes Me Mad - full transcript
When Hayden turns down an opportunity to attend an art exhibit with Christine, she takes Luther instead.
FEMALE NARRATOR: Coach is
filmed before a studio audience.
Hey, Luth,
how's it going?
So, so.
What are you doing?
I'm charting
my bio-rhythms.
You know anything
about these?
Well, I know it's important,
especially at my age.
That's why I make it a point to
eat a bowl of prunes every morning.
No, see, Luth,
the basic theory is
we've got these three cycles
going on inside of us.
There's the physical,
emotional and intellectual.
Most of the time, they're
all at different levels.
But when they're all up at the same
time, like here,
that's when I'm at my physical,
emotional and intellectual peak.
This day right here was the
day I did the 400 push-ups,
had unusually high self-esteem
and nailed that C- in Spanish.
I did one for you.
Want to see it?
Yeah.
That's me?
For a whole calendar year.
I don't seem to move
around as much as you do.
I know.
Of course, you are kind
of down most of the time.
I thought I hid that.
There is one little bump over
here at the end of the year.
Oh, yeah.
Well, I always did
love Christmas.
Hayden? Oh, good you're still here.
Yeah, yeah.
Daub here has been telling me about
this thing called bio-rhythms.
You ever heard of those?
Mmm-hmm.
Boy, I'll tell you,
I think he's really on to something.
He thinks if we chart the
bio-rhythms of the whole team,
then we'd know who's up and
who's down and who to play.
And maybe it could really help us win.
What do you think?
I think it's bunk.
Okay, I'll see you later.
Oh, hi, Kelly.
Hey, there.
Hey, Kelly.
Good afternoon, Coach Fox. Yeah.
Dad, would it be okay if we
used the photocopy machine
to run off some flyers?
Flyers,
what kind of flyers?
This isn't going to be
one of those deals
where you're pestering people
about clean air, is it?
No, Dad.
I've been given
the opportunity to perform
a one-man mime show tomorrow
night at the Little Theater,
and we were hoping
to advertise it around campus.
Chow Chow the Mime?
No, Dad, it's pronounced
Shoo Shoo.
It's Stuart's mime name.
It means, "Little Cabbage."
Anyway, the show's tomorrow
night if any of you want to come.
Well, you know, we'd really love
to, Kelly, but we...
We got
the game tomorrow.
(STAMMERING) Game.
We got the game and...
Of course tomorrow after that we'll
just probably Shoo Shoo on home.
Well, I'm very disappointed,
but I'll get over it.
Little Cabbage, huh?
I'd like to make a little coleslaw.
I thought that was
kind of neat.
Well, I'm sorry to say
I have to go.
Oh, hi, Dauber.
I'm not really sad,
Christine.
This is just my mime face.
What's he talking about?
He doesn't know.
Here, give me a kiss.
Yeah.
Did you have your heart set on
doing anything special tonight?
Well, just, you know,
one thing particularly, I...
(CHUCKLING) I meant before that.
I was just wondering...
Now, I know you're not
going to like this,
but if on the way to dinner
we could just very briefly
pop into
the Langston Art Gallery.
It will only take,
like, two seconds.
Well, you know, honey,
I'm not a real big fan of stuff like that.
But tell you what,
if it's just for a couple of seconds,
and you really want to,
sure I'll go.
Well, obviously it will take a
little longer than two seconds.
I was thinking
more like an hour.
An hour?
Oh, Christine, there goes
my whole weekend!
Look, I don't ask you to do
this kind of thing very often.
They're having a show of an artist I love.
I want you to go.
1 go to your football games
all the time.
Well, people like football.
Well, I like art.
Christine, I mean,
gee, it's Friday night,
I was in a great mood.
I was looking forward to dinner.
Hey, I'll tell you what,
maybe you can get somebody
else to go with you, you know?
That's okay with me.
I'll just drive around the block and
I'll go get a corn dog or something.
Fine, Hayden.
I thought you might be willing
to think about me for once,
but if that's too big
a sacrifice for you to make,
I'll go by myself.
Great.
(SOFTLY) I'll go with you if
you really want someone to go.
What?
If you really want someone
to go with you, I'll go.
You'll go?
Well, not if you don't want me to.
I just thought I might put
a bump in my bio-rhythm.
I would love you to
go with me, Luther.
Do you mind?
No, no, go ahead, go, go, go.
Okay, why don't you pick
me up in about an hour?
Sure, you know, hour,
hour and a half.
I'll just drift around
in there sometime, you know.
If it'll make you mad,
I won't go.
Mad? It's not gonna
make me mad.
If you and Christine want to
go to some boring art gallery
to look at a bunch of stupid
paintings, be my guest. Mad?
(CHUCKLING) It's not gonna
make me mad.
That's good enough for me.
Oh.
Oh, Luther, Luther, come here
and look at this one for me.
Oh, yeah, I like that.
See how she's used
bold strokes through here?
It gives the painting a real
feeling of power and life.
I see. You sure
you don't want a cracker?
You make them look
real good, but no thanks.
Boy, I'm gonna tell you,
lam really enjoying this.
Well, it's nice of you
to say that, Luther.
No, I mean it.
Nobody's ever explained
art to me before.
So basically what you're saying is
everything here has been done on purpose.
With your
better artists, yes.
Well, sure has
opened my eyes.
All right, now, Christine,
just out of curiosity,
like, what would a painting
like this cost?
Well, now, that's an original,
so it would be very expensive.
But the nice thing is they have
prints of these for $25, $30.
Really?
Mmm-hmm.
Excuse me.
I'm sorry,
we're all out of crackers.
No, I just wanted to know if you
had a print of this painting.
Mmm-hmm.
Yes, we do.
I'll take one.
Fine.
You're going to get a print?
Luther, that's great.
It's for you.
For me?
I just wanted to thank you
for showing me around.
Oh, you don't
have to do that.
I wanted to.
I would never come here
if it hadn't been
for you.
That's very sweet of you,
thank you.
It's all right.
Would you like to have
some more wine?
Oh, no, thank you.
In fact, you can
have this one.
Really?
Here. Thanks,
you're a pal.
Hey, there they are,
the two art buffs.
Ready to go?
Well, it hasn't been quite an hour,
but I guess it's close enough.
Bet it seems like two hours to
you, huh, Luth?
For your information, Luther
has had a very good time.
Yeah? Gee, I don't hear
Luther saying that.
Actually,
I have had a good time.
Yeah, I can tell from
the cracker crumbs.
I'm parked in a yellow zone.
You ready to go?
No, we have to wait
for just one more minute.
They're bringing us a print.
You bought a painting?
Actually, Luther bought it.
You bought a painting?
It's not for me.
I bought it for Christine.
Christine? Why did you buy
a painting for Christine?
It was a thank you for showing
him around the gallery.
I think Luther was surprised
at how much he learned,
and he wanted to show
his appreciation.
That's it.
Yeah. well if she took you to the
races, would you buy her a horse?
What is your problem?
I don't have a problem.
I just don't like being
shown up, that's all.
I'm not trying
to show you up.
This may come
as a surprise to you,
but some people like having
their horizons broadened.
Yeah, who?
(SCOFFS)
All the people who aren't
as close-minded as you.
Oh, here we go again.
Hayden Fox is close-minded.
I refuse to listen to this.
Here you go.
With tax,
that will be $26.50.
Luther, I appreciate
this so much.
It's nice to see someone
who's open-minded.
Hey, Christine, you know if
buying a painting is open-minded,
you know, I can be as
open-minded as the next guy.
I can be twice
as open-minded.
Hey, when you get
done here,
I'd like to take that
big baby right over here.
Hayden, don't be silly.
I'm not being silly.
I'm being open-minded.
We're in a hurry.
Could you wrap that up?
You want Impressions of Jan
On a Brittle Winter's Day?
I want the big brown one
over here, to go.
Wait, wait, he is
not buying that painting.
He has no idea
what he's doing.
Actually,
it's an excellent choice.
Don't know
what I'm doing, huh?
You have no idea what a
painting by McLeary costs.
Christine, I do not care
if it costs $500.
I am being open-minded
and I'm going to prove it.
The only thing you're proving
is that you're a child.
A child with a checkbook!
Well, how come I'm a child
and he's not?
Because he came in here,
he spent 45 minutes with
me, looking and learning.
And I can't explain
this to you anymore.
Well, what are you getting
in such a lather about?
Doggone it, Christine,
I really think I've been quite a sport here.
You are not being a sport,
you're being a jerk.
And part of the reason
you're a jerk is
because you don't even know
why you're a jerk.
Luther, thank you for the evening.
Hayden, goodbye.
Where are you going?
Home to Minneapolis.
What about dinner?
Eat it!
Whoa!
What is she getting
so mad about?
I mean, all I wanted to do is
just buy her a little present.
Here you are, sir.
With tax,
that will be $3,180.
Want me to help you carry
that to the car?
Is there any sign of coach yet?
Nope.
It's almost game time.
If he doesn't get here soon,
there won't be time for the pep talk.
Don't worry. If he's not here in a few
minutes, I'll give the pep talk.
You?
Yeah. I've given
pep talks before.
Remember that one I gave
before the Colorado game?
Yeah, I remember.
Bloody Saturday.
We didn't lose that badly.
Oh, no. That was what
we called your pep talk.
The team ready? There you are.
Where have you been?
Oh, I've been home all morning
trying to call Christine.
She didn't call here, did she?
No.
Man, I can't believe that she
won't even pick up her phone.
You know, she's been
mad at me before,
but I tell you,
never like this.
And over what?
She wanted to go
to the art gallery,
so I let her go
to the art gallery.
She didn't want to go alone,
so I fixed her up with my best bud.
Then, to top it all off,
I buy her a really good-sized painting here.
Now I'm in the dog house.
Jeez.
Is that the painting?
Huh? Yeah.
What did you bring it
here for?
Well, it costs $3,000.
I'm not gonna leave it in the cabin.
Somebody could take it.
Stupid painting.
Wow.
That's $3,000?
You know, I didn't pay that much
to have my whole cabin painted.
If you don't like it,
why don't you take it back?
Because I'm the head
football coach, Dauber.
I didn't want them to think I
didn't know what I was doing.
God, what was I doing?
I could've put $3,000
down on a bass boat.
I mean, I could've invested in
something that would last a lifetime.
I feel like this is
all my fault.
Oh, come on.
Take it easy, bud.
Don't beat yourself
up about this.
Just go clean out
your desk.
Just kidding.
I'm not mad at you, Luther.
I'm mad at art.
You know something?
I know why Christine's
doing this.
She's trying to
make me squirm.
I'll tell you something.
Hayden Fox does not squirm.
Think I ought to try calling
her one more time maybe?
Yeah, then you should talk to the team.
They're all waiting.
If you don't feel like talking to the
team, I'll give the pep talk.
You mean the Bloody Saturday
speech? No, I don't think so.
Oh, here we go.
It's the answering machine again.
"Hi. This is
Christine Armstrong.
"I can't come to
the phone right now."
'Cause I'm too busy sitting on my
couch driving Hayden Fox crazy!
You know something, Coach?
I wouldn't worry about it.
I bet you'll go
out on the field,
you'll look up
in the bleachers,
she'll be sitting right
where she usually is.
Everything will be okay.
You think so?
Sure.
I don't know that much
about Christine,
but I do know
she's nuts about you.
That, and she's for
stricter arms control.
Come on, you guys, let's go.
We got a game to play.
Hey, Coach, Coach,
one thing about today.
Now, I know you think
this is bunk,
but I charted Danny's bio-rhythms
and he's down physically,
so you may hot get
much from him today.
Yeah, well, I better get something
from him or I'm going to chew his butt.
I wouldn't yell
at him either,
'cause he's down
emotionally, too.
Dauber, if he's playing lousy
and I don't yell at him,
don't you think
he's going to wonder why?
He'll know why.
He's up intellectually.
ANNOUNCER: Once again,
the final score.
Minnesota State 35, Kansas 20.
Please drive home safely.
(ALL CHEERING)
(CHEERING)
Minnesota State!
What's the matter?
Stuart, why are you
dressed like that?
He's not Stuart, Dad.
He's Chou Chou now.
He can't talk
when he's in character.
Did Chou Chou go
to the game like that?
We were passing out flyers
for tonight's performance.
Dad, how come
you're so depressed?
We thought you'd be thrilled
after today's game.
You were supposed
to get creamed.
I'm having a little personal problem here, Kelly.
You know what I mean?
Is it you and Christine?
Yeah.
Did you two have a fight?
Yeah.
Was it your fault?
Yeah.
This has really gotten to you,
hasn't it?
I've never seen you
like this before.
You're so upset you can't
even enjoy winning today.
That is great.
What do you mean,
that's great?
Because winning used to
be your whole life, Dad.
Or at least it was
up until Christine.
I don't know what you did,
but if she has this
kind of effect on you,
I think I'd do something
to fix things.
Shut up, Stuart.
How come I'm the one that
always has to fix things, huh?
Well, I'll tell you something, Kelly.
If it wasn't for me always apologizing,
this relationship
wouldn't have a prayer.
(PHONE RINGING)
(ON ANSWERING MACHINE) Hi.
This is Christine Armstrong.
I can't come to
the phone right now,
but leave a message
and I'll call you back.
Hi. This is Barbara...
Barb, hi, hi, I'm here.
I just wanted to make sure
who it was before I picked up.
I was just wondering
if you were free tonight.
Things are fine
with Hayden.
Just because I want to spend some
time with my best friend for a change
doesn't mean there's
a problem with Hayden.
(DOORBELL RINGING)
Just a second.
Who is it?
HAYDEN: The man
you love and adore.
I'm sorry, it's nobody.
So how about tonight?
Oh, great.
(POUNDING ON DOOR)
HAYDEN: Christine? Barb, look,
I'm going to have to call you back.
Why don't you pick out
a movie or a restaurant
or a late mass,
I don't care.
I just want to have
some fun. Thanks.
(POUNDING ON DOOR)
Hey, Christine?
What is it, Hayden?
I'm sorry.
For what?
I don't know.
I do know.
Open up, let me tell you.
I'm sorry
I don't like art.
Christine! Hey, Christine,
I know I'm close.
It's in there somewhere.
Now just let me come on in and
talk to you about it, please.
What do you say? Come on.
I don't have
a lot of time here, Hayden.
I am meeting Barbara later.
What is that?
It's a brittle impression of Jan
and she's cold, I don't know.
It cost me 3,000 bucks,
and it's getting heavy.
Forget about the painting.
I just wanted to talk about,
you know, why you're mad at me.
Okay.
Why are you mad at me?
You really don't know?
Well, I know I didn't go
to the art gallery with you
and I was being close-minded.
You said I was being childish,
but, hey, I'm like that
all the time.
Why are you
so mad tonight?
Because I am
fed up, Hayden.
We have been going through this since we
met, and I have had it.
You hate
everything I love.
No, I don't.
You hate art, you hate music, you hate
dance, you hate theater, you hate fish.
Well, I hate those things.
What is it
you like about me?
My wardrobe, my hair,
my nails?
Yes, I like
all those things.
This is just not good
enough anymore, Hayden.
That was fine
in the beginning,
but we have known each other
for almost three years now.
And if we don't have anything
more in common after all this time
than just physical attraction,
I don't know what we're doing together.
Christine, you're saying you want to
end a two and a half year relationship
just because
I don't like stupid art!
This isn't about art,
this is about us!
Christine, stop screaming.
I mean, people will think
we're fighting.
We are fighting, you jerk!
Hey, that's the second time in
two days you called me a jerk!
I'm just pointing that out
to you, Christine.
Oh.
Oh, Hayden,
let's just face it.
We have nothing in common.
Yeah, well,
I mean, that's okay.
I mean, I don't want to break
up, do you?
No, I don't want
to break up.
Well, great. There, see,
we do have something in common.
Now, you add that with your
nails, your hair, your wardrobe,
hey, that's something, huh?
What do you think?
I think maybe I hurt your head
when I slammed the door.
Ah, gee, Christine.
Come on, just tell me
what you want me to do.
I mean, I don't want
to fight anymore.
Just tell me,
and I'll do it.
I don't know if you're capable
of doing what I want you to do.
Well, try me.
Give me a shot.
(SIGHS)
I want you to do for me
what I do for you.
You want me to clean
your bathroom?
Hayden.
Why do you think 1 go to your
football games every Saturday?
Do you think it's because
I love football?
Well, I thought you liked it.
It ranks right up there with
changing a tire at midnight.
But I go,
because you love it.
And I enjoy seeing you get
excited about things you love.
And that's why I wanted you
to go to the gallery with me.
So you want me
to get excited for you
about the things
that you love?
Yes.
Even though for me,
that's like getting my ankle crushed.
That's what you want?
That is
a mature relationship.
But is that what you want?
Heck, Christine,
I can take it if you can.
It's not going to be all
misery and suffering, Hayden.
There's a lot of pleasure
in giving.
Well, I'm open to pleasure.
Oh, boy.
Oh, Christine, I don't
want to sound like a jerk,
but are we okay now?
I'm okay.
Are you okay?
Yeah, yeah,
as long as I have you.
Yeah. Yeah.
Oh, God.
Oh, man.
Now, what are we going to do
about that painting?
I bought it for you.
Yes, I know.
But it's too expensive.
Well, you know, heck, Christine,
we've been together long enough.
It's about time I got you
something expensive.
Besides, you know,
if it's something you love,
then it would give me great
pleasure for you to have it.
Thank you, Hayden.
Unless it would give you more
pleasure to see me have a bass boat.
I didn't mean to tell you.
You goaded me into it.
Hayden is never
going to forgive me.
Hayden's a big boy.
He knows how it is.
I'm not saying he's going
to be thrilled by it,
but what else
can he do?
HAYDEN: (SHOUTING) Christine!
That him?
Oh, God!
Yeah, right. Well, look,
I've got people waiting for me,
so I'll see you, okay?
You say hi to the big guy
for me, okay? Good.
Where's Clifton?
At dinner. Why?
I want to pull his tongue out
and tuck it in his pants.
Hayden, I know you're upset,
and you have every right to be.
I don't know how it happened.
It just slipped out.
I told you it was a
secret, Christine.
I know you did.
I trusted you.
Why would you do it?
I was trying to defend you.
From what? Success?
Bob was saying all these
terrible things about you,
like he always does.
You know how
he likes to get me going.
He was talking about how your
whole season was based on luck
and not skill,
and how you were going to have
an even worse season next year,
and how you weren't good
at recruiting and...
I just couldn't stand to hear
him berate you like that.
He berates me
and you destroy me.
Where do I come out ahead
in that, Christine?
I was just trying to explain
what the circumstances were.
I don't care
what the circumstances were.
I told you a secret.
I expected you to keep it.
Hayden, what can I say?
1 did a terrible thing
and I know it.
I knew it
the second I said it.
And if I could have taken it
back, I would have.
But I couldn't.
And I'm sorry.
I'm sorrier than
I've ever been in my life.
What I did is going to wreck
everything with Bo, isn't it?
Oh, yeah.
(GROANS)
Would it do any good if I called
him and explained things to him?
What are you going to say?
"It's not the coach's fault,
don't blame him.
"He can't trust the people
closest to him"?
I don't know
what else to say.
What I did was unforgivable.
Yeah.
You think so, too?
Well, Hayden,
if you can't forgive me,
what do we do?
I don't know, Christine.
Oh, Kelly! Stuart!
Christine,
what are you doing here?
Cooking.
What are you doing here?
We needed a fish for a
one-act play we were doing
and Kelly's father graciously
lent us his prized rainbow trout
with the stipulation that
if anything happened to it,
he would stuff
and mount me.
Did something happen to it?
Kind of.
We sent it down on a chair
and somebody sat on it.
We tried to glue it back together.
Can you tell?
It looks okay from here.
Great. Then if we hang it back over the
fireplace, he'll never notice.
Did you and Dad make up?
Not yet.
My being here
is kind of a surprise.
I thought I'd try
one more time.
What are you cooking?
Just about everything
that's in the refrigerator.
I was nervous.
The longer I sat,
the more nervous I got.
And when I get nervous,
I cook.
I am the same way.
How does that look?
Fine. He'll never know
it was broken.
(SIGHING) Now maybe
those nightmares will stop.
You know, if you and Dad
are going to talk,
we shouldn't be here.
I don't know
if we're going to talk.
So far, your father
hasn't been very responsive.
I know what you did
was bad,
but it sounds to me like you were
just trying to be supportive.
And I think Dad's a jerk for
staying mad at you this long.
He acts as if he'd be happier
if I just dropped off
the face of the earth.
Boy, I know
how that feels.
What's going on?
Nothing. Nothing.
We just returned your fish.
See, looks good,
doesn't it?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Just no need to give
that fish another thought.
(DOOR CLOSING)
Hi.
What are you doing here?
Making chicken.
I don't get it.
Well, Hayden,
it's been 10 days
and I thought
I'd try to talk to you.
I don't really think there's
anything to talk about.
Look, I could understand why you
didn't feel like talking at first,
and I didn't try
to press it,
but a lot of time
has gone by now and...
I mean, you are planning on
forgiving me someday, right?
Sure. I forgive you.
But you still don't trust me.
Obviously, you can't get past this.
I'm going to go.
I don't know
what more I can do.
I made a mistake.
I can't correct it.
I can only be sorry, but that doesn't
seem to be good enough for you.
I'm just not ready yet,
Christine.
Fine.
When you get ready,
you give me a call.
Let's just hope when you
do that I'm still ready.
The chicken will be ready
in 12 minutes!
Hey, Coach.
Hey, Daub.
What you doing?
Altering my destiny.
Hearing about Danny graduating
has kind of inspired me.
I found out
he's an English major.
So from now on,
I'm an English major, too.
I figured if he can
do it in four years,
I can do it in four years.
Daub, you've been here
eight years.
And you spent the last two
as a Math major.
Now, if you go for
another four-year degree now,
won't that set you back
two years?
I don't know.
Let me see.
Eight plus four
plus two minus two...
What am I trying
to figure out here, Coach?
Nothing, Daub.
Just stick to English.
How's it going, guys?
Hey, Luth.
What are you reading,
Daub?
The Catcher In The Rye.
I thought I was
getting a baseball book,
but so far it's just about
some whiney kid in prep school.
I hate those kids.
Anything new from Bo?
I talked to him this morning.
He's not as upset as he was last week.
Anything new with you
and you-know-who?
Christine?
Well, I didn't want to come
right out and say her name.
Are you two going
to be talking for awhile?
Because if you are,
I'm going to go someplace else and study.
Dauber, this is my office.
(GRUNTING)
As we say in English,
I'll see you anon.
(DOOR CLOSES)
So, how are you
and you-know-who?
Christine.
You can say her name.
Okay, Christine.
There, I said it. You happy?
No.
Hayden, when are you
going to get over this?
You've been on the warpath
for two weeks now.
Slamming doors, barking your head
off, yelling at everybody you see.
Not that anybody'd notice anything
unusual, but I'm closer to you.
I pick up on these things.
What do you want
me to do, Luther?
Make up with her.
She forgives you all the time.
I don't know anybody else
who'd do that.
She's practically a priest.
Hayden, I haven't said anything up till
now, but I've got to tell you,
I think this is as much
your fault as it is hers.
How is it my fault?
If you didn't want
anybody to know,
you shouldn't have
told anybody.
But I didn't tell just
anybody, I told Christine.
If ll can't trust her,
who can I trust?
Luther, what's the point of having
a relationship with somebody
if you can't share
a secret with them?
I mean, sharing does
not come easy for me.
In all the time I was married to
Beth, I was never able to share.
Of course, the courts
put an end to that.
But the thing is,
I changed with Christine.
You know, I opened up,
and look what happened.
But she didn't mean
to do it, Hayden.
She slipped. People slip.
But not Christine!
I mean, I thought of her as being
perfect, and she's not.
She's just like
everybody else.
And I can't help it.
I'm disappointed.
Well, I understand that.
I know Christine's
not perfect.
But, boy, Hayden,
she's close.
Yeah, I know.
Closer than you.
I know.
A lot closer.
Luther...
All right, but she is.
Well, it's your life.
I'm not trying to tell you how to live it.
But I'll tell you one thing.
You can bet Christine's never
going to make this mistake again.
She is close, Hayden.
Real...
Closer than you-know-who.
Well, I guess
I've made my point.
She knows I was mad.
She knows she was wrong.
She's sorry.
Attaboy!
I knew you couldn't
stay mad forever.
Well, I like to think I can,
but I can't.
When are you going to
tell her you forgive her?
I'm gonna go over there
right now.
I just hope when I tell her the
wonderful news that I'm taking her back,
she doesn't throw
something at me.
What are you talking about?
Luther, I've held her over the
fire for a couple of weeks.
Chances are, she's probably
a little fried by now.
If she's mad,
just tell her you're sorry.
Right. I'll tell her
I'm sorry.
I don't believe this,
Luther.
It doesn't matter
who does what to who.
The last chapter is always
me saying I'm sorry.
I had it.
I had her apology
and I wouldn't take it.
I mean, I had it.
The fish was
in the boat.
The Governor is expected to sign
that bill sometime tomorrow.
In Duluth today,
talks broke down
between striking sanitation
workers and city officials.
Union spokesman
George Walton said
that he saw
no immediate end in sight,
and no new talks
have been scheduled.
That garbage strike
is now in its fourth day,
and Duluth residents are hopeful
that the temperatures remain cool.
When we return,
Andrea Hart
will have a report
from Bloomington
on anew fleet
of city school buses,
and Bob Clifton
will have all the sports.
MAN: And we're clear.
Two minutes.
BILL: Who's the idiot
behind the set?
What?
Christine! Hi.
BILL: Excuse me, Coach, is that you?
Yeah.
Get the hell off the set!
Just give us a second here,
Bill, would you?
Hayden, what are you doing here?
I need to talk to you.
In the middle of a broadcast?
Yeah, well,
I know it's a stupid place to do it,
but you know,
I just realized what a jerk I've been.
I could hardly wait
to tell you, Christine.
Anyway, this whole thing,
I learnt something from it... Well...
"To err is human,
and to forgive is divine."
And you're human
and you made an error.
And I'm forgiving you,
so it makes me divine...
I don't know!
This isn't
coming out right!
What I'm trying to say is,
lam forgiving you and, well,
you're back in my life.
What do you say?
(GROANS)
What did you
do that for?
How dare you!
You think you can come waltzing
in here after treating me
like I had the bubonic plague
for the past two weeks,
and then tell me
I'm back in your life?
(GROANS)
Cut that out!
What did you expect me to do?
Fall into your arms and thank you?
What would have been wrong with that?
A hug would have been good.
MAN: 30 seconds.
You put me through hell
these past two weeks!
I thought
I had ruined your team,
I thought
I'd hurt your career,
I was terrified you were
never going to forgive me.
(SOBBING) I haven't been able to
sleep, I can't stop crying.
And you expect me to hug you?
MAN: Ten seconds.
Why didn't you hug me?
Is that all you wanted,
was a hug?
A hug would've been good.
I'll hug you
if you won't hit me.
I won't hit you.
MAN: In five, four,
three, two...
A happy day
for local school children
as a new fleet of bright,
yellow school buses comes to town.
Andrea Hart has the report.
Are we clear?
Yes. Yes.
Are we okay?
Are you really
capable of forgiving me?
BILL: I hope so, because we're
coming back in about 40 seconds.
Yeah,
I can forgive you.
I mean, God knows
you've forgiven me and all
those mistakes I've made.
I really am sorry,
Hayden.
So am I.
I still feel
so bad about Bo.
Hey, losing Bo Whitley
isn't that bad.
Not as bad
as losing each other.
Besides,
can you keep a secret?
No!
Oh, come on.
I want to show
you I can trust you.
Nothing's definite yet,
okay?
But I've talked to Bo
a few times, and he says
that if we're willing to wait
until the end of the season
there's a chance he may play
for Minnesota State.
Hayden, that's wonderful!
MAN: In 10, Christine.
I can't tell you how much better I feel.
Yeah, me, too.
MAN: Four, three, two...
Thank you, Andrea.
And with scores and highlights
from the world of sports,
here's our own
Bob Clifton. Bob?
Thank you, Christine.
Well, sports fans,
that on-again,
off-again transfer
of super-talent Bo Whitley
to Minnesota State
just might be
on again!
This reporter
has just learned...
HAYDEN: Tell me
when we're clear!
Uh-oh.
What?
Did you know that one of your
arms is longer than the other one?
You're kidding.
No, no. Your right arm is about a quarter
of an inch longer than your left one.
Is that a problem?
Not for me.
It's not my arm.
For making the suit.
Oh, no problem at all.
But if I were you, I'd always carry
something heavy in your left hand.
I'm kidding.
Well, stop it.
(KNOCKING AT DOOR)
Dad? Hey, guys. Come on in.
How are you doing?
Fine.
Are you being
measured for a suit?
No, I'm getting
an artificial leg, Stu.
You wouldn't be getting a new suit
for the sports banquet, would you?
Why?
Because we kind of wanted
to talk to you about that.
We know you're going to win
the Curley O'Brien Award,
and I know you were counting on
Stuart and me being there for it,
but we got this chance to go with a
bunch of kids to Chicago, Saturday,
to see
the Royal Shakespeare Company.
They're wonderful.
For you, it would be...
It would be like taking
your team to a Fruit Bowl!
And we were just thinking that since
Christine and Luther and Dauber
and all those guys on the team
are all going to be there,
would it really matter
if two theater majors,
who don't really know anything
about sports to begin with,
begged off
and instead experienced
what would burn brightly as the
most memorable night of their lives?
Banquet's at 7:30, right?
Right.
We'll see you there.
Uh-huh.
Ladies and gentlemen,
fellow coaches, alumni,
I don't know what to say.
This is going to be
some party, Coach.
Yeah, well, it will if I win
the Curley O'Brien Award, boy.
ATHLETE: Oh, don't worry,
you'll win.
Huh? Oh, come on,
let's not be too overconfident here.
But you're giving
a victory party.
Hi.
Oh, is this all for tonight?
I thought it was just going to
be a few friends and family.
Well, it was, but you know
how these things go.
I mean, after you win
an award like this,
there's usually
an impromptu dinner afterward.
I just thought I'd plan for it.
I mean, if I win the award.
Hayden, you know
you're going to win the award.
That's why
you're throwing this party.
Oh, I wish everybody
would quit saying that.
The only reason
I'm throwing the party,
is because I happen to love the
spirit of the Curley O'Brien Award
and everything it represents.
Last year
you said it was a
"bogus award handed out by a
jury of feeble-minded geezers
"who wouldn't recognize
a coaching achievement
"if it bit them
on their sagging bottoms."
How do you remember
those things?
(KNOCKING AT DOOR)
Hey, Howard.
Hi, Christine.
Hello, Howard.
I'm going to go
put these things away, Hayden.
All right.
There he is.
King of the hill. Top of the heap.
Man of the hour.
All ready for the big night?
Well, I'm anxious to honor whoever might
happen to win the Curley O'Brien Award.
Oh, come on.
Everybody knows who's going to win.
I know, you know,
Curley knows.
Is that him?
Fresh from the trophy maker.
You want to see?
Oh, no! No.
I don't want to see him before tonight.
I mean, it might be bad luck.
You don't need luck tonight,
you're a shoo-in.
Look, who does the award
traditionally go to?
Either a coach that's had a great
success or a terrible illness.
Everyone's been healthy,
so there's no pity vote.
And who's had a better year than you?
You were 7-and-4.
That is the best coaching record
for Minnesota State football
since Curley O'Brien himself.
(WHISPERING)
Okay, I'll take a peek.
Yeah.
Curley...
Do you really think
he's mine?
I think he winked at you,
Hayden.
Where are you going to put him?
I don't know.
I'll probably have
something built.
Like a shelf?
Or a room.
Hey, Christine,
look who's here.
Oh, my.
Is that the award?
Yeah, that's Curley.
Don't touch him.
Sorry.
I just don't want you to put
a curse on it or anything.
I've never seen you this
anxious about an award before.
Christine, this is the highest
award the university gives out.
Come on,
I've been there eight years
and all the years I've had
to go to that stupid banquet
and see somebody else
get all that applause.
I mean, I want the applause
to be for me.
And tonight you'll have it.
Well, listen,
I've got to go back
and get Curley buffed
before the banquet.
See you tonight.
Hey, see you tonight.
Luther. Dauber.
Close your eyes.
Huh?
Close your eyes.
Okay, come on over here.
Come on, I got you. Okay.
Okay.
Turn around, turn around,
turn around.
All right.
You ready?
Uh-huh.
Okay, open your eyes.
Okay, I still can't see.
What is that?
A little surprise
from the coaching staff,
except for Mackenzie,
who wouldn't kick in.
It's a trophy case.
We had it made.
It's got lights in the top
and an electric turntable
on the bottom
so the award can revolve
for eternity.
I don't know what to say, you guys.
That's beautiful.
It ought to be.
It's simulated oak veneer.
We thought you could
put it in your bedroom
so the last thing you see at
night before you go to sleep
and the first thing you see
in the morning
when you wake up
will be Curley.
Except, of course,
when Christine is over.
Excuse me,
chicken or beef?
Chicken or beef?
Chicken or beef?
This is table 16, right?
NUN: Uh-huh.
And you're here
with the Fox party?
Yes.
Okay...
Hey.
Oh, there they are.
Hi, guys.
Hey, how you doing?
(ALL CHATTERING)
Dad.
Hi, sweetheart.
Hi, everybody.
Wow, you look great!
A tuxedo, huh?
Yeah, I guess it is.
Who are the nuns?
Oh, hey, everybody, I'd like you to
meet a couple of friends of mine.
This is Sister Mary Katherine,
Sister Mary Grace.
Sisters, this is my girlfriend,
Christine Armstrong.
My assistant coach,
Luther Van Dam.
(GREETING IN LATIN)
My secretary, Mrs. Thorkelson.
How do you do?
Another one of my assistants,
Dauber Dybinski.
And, of course, Judy Watkins,
our girls' basketball coach.
Women's basketball coach.
What did I say?
You said, "girls."
Oh, well, I gave them the gender,
I thought that was being generous.
And, of course, I guess you met my
daughter, Kelly, and her friend, Stuart.
Husband.
Whatever.
The Sisters
are my guests tonight.
I thought if I were blessed
enough to win the award,
I thought I'd donate my
honorarium to their convent.
Well, I don't know
if he told you,
but he's donating a lot more
than his honorarium.
filmed before a studio audience.
Hey, Luth,
how's it going?
So, so.
What are you doing?
I'm charting
my bio-rhythms.
You know anything
about these?
Well, I know it's important,
especially at my age.
That's why I make it a point to
eat a bowl of prunes every morning.
No, see, Luth,
the basic theory is
we've got these three cycles
going on inside of us.
There's the physical,
emotional and intellectual.
Most of the time, they're
all at different levels.
But when they're all up at the same
time, like here,
that's when I'm at my physical,
emotional and intellectual peak.
This day right here was the
day I did the 400 push-ups,
had unusually high self-esteem
and nailed that C- in Spanish.
I did one for you.
Want to see it?
Yeah.
That's me?
For a whole calendar year.
I don't seem to move
around as much as you do.
I know.
Of course, you are kind
of down most of the time.
I thought I hid that.
There is one little bump over
here at the end of the year.
Oh, yeah.
Well, I always did
love Christmas.
Hayden? Oh, good you're still here.
Yeah, yeah.
Daub here has been telling me about
this thing called bio-rhythms.
You ever heard of those?
Mmm-hmm.
Boy, I'll tell you,
I think he's really on to something.
He thinks if we chart the
bio-rhythms of the whole team,
then we'd know who's up and
who's down and who to play.
And maybe it could really help us win.
What do you think?
I think it's bunk.
Okay, I'll see you later.
Oh, hi, Kelly.
Hey, there.
Hey, Kelly.
Good afternoon, Coach Fox. Yeah.
Dad, would it be okay if we
used the photocopy machine
to run off some flyers?
Flyers,
what kind of flyers?
This isn't going to be
one of those deals
where you're pestering people
about clean air, is it?
No, Dad.
I've been given
the opportunity to perform
a one-man mime show tomorrow
night at the Little Theater,
and we were hoping
to advertise it around campus.
Chow Chow the Mime?
No, Dad, it's pronounced
Shoo Shoo.
It's Stuart's mime name.
It means, "Little Cabbage."
Anyway, the show's tomorrow
night if any of you want to come.
Well, you know, we'd really love
to, Kelly, but we...
We got
the game tomorrow.
(STAMMERING) Game.
We got the game and...
Of course tomorrow after that we'll
just probably Shoo Shoo on home.
Well, I'm very disappointed,
but I'll get over it.
Little Cabbage, huh?
I'd like to make a little coleslaw.
I thought that was
kind of neat.
Well, I'm sorry to say
I have to go.
Oh, hi, Dauber.
I'm not really sad,
Christine.
This is just my mime face.
What's he talking about?
He doesn't know.
Here, give me a kiss.
Yeah.
Did you have your heart set on
doing anything special tonight?
Well, just, you know,
one thing particularly, I...
(CHUCKLING) I meant before that.
I was just wondering...
Now, I know you're not
going to like this,
but if on the way to dinner
we could just very briefly
pop into
the Langston Art Gallery.
It will only take,
like, two seconds.
Well, you know, honey,
I'm not a real big fan of stuff like that.
But tell you what,
if it's just for a couple of seconds,
and you really want to,
sure I'll go.
Well, obviously it will take a
little longer than two seconds.
I was thinking
more like an hour.
An hour?
Oh, Christine, there goes
my whole weekend!
Look, I don't ask you to do
this kind of thing very often.
They're having a show of an artist I love.
I want you to go.
1 go to your football games
all the time.
Well, people like football.
Well, I like art.
Christine, I mean,
gee, it's Friday night,
I was in a great mood.
I was looking forward to dinner.
Hey, I'll tell you what,
maybe you can get somebody
else to go with you, you know?
That's okay with me.
I'll just drive around the block and
I'll go get a corn dog or something.
Fine, Hayden.
I thought you might be willing
to think about me for once,
but if that's too big
a sacrifice for you to make,
I'll go by myself.
Great.
(SOFTLY) I'll go with you if
you really want someone to go.
What?
If you really want someone
to go with you, I'll go.
You'll go?
Well, not if you don't want me to.
I just thought I might put
a bump in my bio-rhythm.
I would love you to
go with me, Luther.
Do you mind?
No, no, go ahead, go, go, go.
Okay, why don't you pick
me up in about an hour?
Sure, you know, hour,
hour and a half.
I'll just drift around
in there sometime, you know.
If it'll make you mad,
I won't go.
Mad? It's not gonna
make me mad.
If you and Christine want to
go to some boring art gallery
to look at a bunch of stupid
paintings, be my guest. Mad?
(CHUCKLING) It's not gonna
make me mad.
That's good enough for me.
Oh.
Oh, Luther, Luther, come here
and look at this one for me.
Oh, yeah, I like that.
See how she's used
bold strokes through here?
It gives the painting a real
feeling of power and life.
I see. You sure
you don't want a cracker?
You make them look
real good, but no thanks.
Boy, I'm gonna tell you,
lam really enjoying this.
Well, it's nice of you
to say that, Luther.
No, I mean it.
Nobody's ever explained
art to me before.
So basically what you're saying is
everything here has been done on purpose.
With your
better artists, yes.
Well, sure has
opened my eyes.
All right, now, Christine,
just out of curiosity,
like, what would a painting
like this cost?
Well, now, that's an original,
so it would be very expensive.
But the nice thing is they have
prints of these for $25, $30.
Really?
Mmm-hmm.
Excuse me.
I'm sorry,
we're all out of crackers.
No, I just wanted to know if you
had a print of this painting.
Mmm-hmm.
Yes, we do.
I'll take one.
Fine.
You're going to get a print?
Luther, that's great.
It's for you.
For me?
I just wanted to thank you
for showing me around.
Oh, you don't
have to do that.
I wanted to.
I would never come here
if it hadn't been
for you.
That's very sweet of you,
thank you.
It's all right.
Would you like to have
some more wine?
Oh, no, thank you.
In fact, you can
have this one.
Really?
Here. Thanks,
you're a pal.
Hey, there they are,
the two art buffs.
Ready to go?
Well, it hasn't been quite an hour,
but I guess it's close enough.
Bet it seems like two hours to
you, huh, Luth?
For your information, Luther
has had a very good time.
Yeah? Gee, I don't hear
Luther saying that.
Actually,
I have had a good time.
Yeah, I can tell from
the cracker crumbs.
I'm parked in a yellow zone.
You ready to go?
No, we have to wait
for just one more minute.
They're bringing us a print.
You bought a painting?
Actually, Luther bought it.
You bought a painting?
It's not for me.
I bought it for Christine.
Christine? Why did you buy
a painting for Christine?
It was a thank you for showing
him around the gallery.
I think Luther was surprised
at how much he learned,
and he wanted to show
his appreciation.
That's it.
Yeah. well if she took you to the
races, would you buy her a horse?
What is your problem?
I don't have a problem.
I just don't like being
shown up, that's all.
I'm not trying
to show you up.
This may come
as a surprise to you,
but some people like having
their horizons broadened.
Yeah, who?
(SCOFFS)
All the people who aren't
as close-minded as you.
Oh, here we go again.
Hayden Fox is close-minded.
I refuse to listen to this.
Here you go.
With tax,
that will be $26.50.
Luther, I appreciate
this so much.
It's nice to see someone
who's open-minded.
Hey, Christine, you know if
buying a painting is open-minded,
you know, I can be as
open-minded as the next guy.
I can be twice
as open-minded.
Hey, when you get
done here,
I'd like to take that
big baby right over here.
Hayden, don't be silly.
I'm not being silly.
I'm being open-minded.
We're in a hurry.
Could you wrap that up?
You want Impressions of Jan
On a Brittle Winter's Day?
I want the big brown one
over here, to go.
Wait, wait, he is
not buying that painting.
He has no idea
what he's doing.
Actually,
it's an excellent choice.
Don't know
what I'm doing, huh?
You have no idea what a
painting by McLeary costs.
Christine, I do not care
if it costs $500.
I am being open-minded
and I'm going to prove it.
The only thing you're proving
is that you're a child.
A child with a checkbook!
Well, how come I'm a child
and he's not?
Because he came in here,
he spent 45 minutes with
me, looking and learning.
And I can't explain
this to you anymore.
Well, what are you getting
in such a lather about?
Doggone it, Christine,
I really think I've been quite a sport here.
You are not being a sport,
you're being a jerk.
And part of the reason
you're a jerk is
because you don't even know
why you're a jerk.
Luther, thank you for the evening.
Hayden, goodbye.
Where are you going?
Home to Minneapolis.
What about dinner?
Eat it!
Whoa!
What is she getting
so mad about?
I mean, all I wanted to do is
just buy her a little present.
Here you are, sir.
With tax,
that will be $3,180.
Want me to help you carry
that to the car?
Is there any sign of coach yet?
Nope.
It's almost game time.
If he doesn't get here soon,
there won't be time for the pep talk.
Don't worry. If he's not here in a few
minutes, I'll give the pep talk.
You?
Yeah. I've given
pep talks before.
Remember that one I gave
before the Colorado game?
Yeah, I remember.
Bloody Saturday.
We didn't lose that badly.
Oh, no. That was what
we called your pep talk.
The team ready? There you are.
Where have you been?
Oh, I've been home all morning
trying to call Christine.
She didn't call here, did she?
No.
Man, I can't believe that she
won't even pick up her phone.
You know, she's been
mad at me before,
but I tell you,
never like this.
And over what?
She wanted to go
to the art gallery,
so I let her go
to the art gallery.
She didn't want to go alone,
so I fixed her up with my best bud.
Then, to top it all off,
I buy her a really good-sized painting here.
Now I'm in the dog house.
Jeez.
Is that the painting?
Huh? Yeah.
What did you bring it
here for?
Well, it costs $3,000.
I'm not gonna leave it in the cabin.
Somebody could take it.
Stupid painting.
Wow.
That's $3,000?
You know, I didn't pay that much
to have my whole cabin painted.
If you don't like it,
why don't you take it back?
Because I'm the head
football coach, Dauber.
I didn't want them to think I
didn't know what I was doing.
God, what was I doing?
I could've put $3,000
down on a bass boat.
I mean, I could've invested in
something that would last a lifetime.
I feel like this is
all my fault.
Oh, come on.
Take it easy, bud.
Don't beat yourself
up about this.
Just go clean out
your desk.
Just kidding.
I'm not mad at you, Luther.
I'm mad at art.
You know something?
I know why Christine's
doing this.
She's trying to
make me squirm.
I'll tell you something.
Hayden Fox does not squirm.
Think I ought to try calling
her one more time maybe?
Yeah, then you should talk to the team.
They're all waiting.
If you don't feel like talking to the
team, I'll give the pep talk.
You mean the Bloody Saturday
speech? No, I don't think so.
Oh, here we go.
It's the answering machine again.
"Hi. This is
Christine Armstrong.
"I can't come to
the phone right now."
'Cause I'm too busy sitting on my
couch driving Hayden Fox crazy!
You know something, Coach?
I wouldn't worry about it.
I bet you'll go
out on the field,
you'll look up
in the bleachers,
she'll be sitting right
where she usually is.
Everything will be okay.
You think so?
Sure.
I don't know that much
about Christine,
but I do know
she's nuts about you.
That, and she's for
stricter arms control.
Come on, you guys, let's go.
We got a game to play.
Hey, Coach, Coach,
one thing about today.
Now, I know you think
this is bunk,
but I charted Danny's bio-rhythms
and he's down physically,
so you may hot get
much from him today.
Yeah, well, I better get something
from him or I'm going to chew his butt.
I wouldn't yell
at him either,
'cause he's down
emotionally, too.
Dauber, if he's playing lousy
and I don't yell at him,
don't you think
he's going to wonder why?
He'll know why.
He's up intellectually.
ANNOUNCER: Once again,
the final score.
Minnesota State 35, Kansas 20.
Please drive home safely.
(ALL CHEERING)
(CHEERING)
Minnesota State!
What's the matter?
Stuart, why are you
dressed like that?
He's not Stuart, Dad.
He's Chou Chou now.
He can't talk
when he's in character.
Did Chou Chou go
to the game like that?
We were passing out flyers
for tonight's performance.
Dad, how come
you're so depressed?
We thought you'd be thrilled
after today's game.
You were supposed
to get creamed.
I'm having a little personal problem here, Kelly.
You know what I mean?
Is it you and Christine?
Yeah.
Did you two have a fight?
Yeah.
Was it your fault?
Yeah.
This has really gotten to you,
hasn't it?
I've never seen you
like this before.
You're so upset you can't
even enjoy winning today.
That is great.
What do you mean,
that's great?
Because winning used to
be your whole life, Dad.
Or at least it was
up until Christine.
I don't know what you did,
but if she has this
kind of effect on you,
I think I'd do something
to fix things.
Shut up, Stuart.
How come I'm the one that
always has to fix things, huh?
Well, I'll tell you something, Kelly.
If it wasn't for me always apologizing,
this relationship
wouldn't have a prayer.
(PHONE RINGING)
(ON ANSWERING MACHINE) Hi.
This is Christine Armstrong.
I can't come to
the phone right now,
but leave a message
and I'll call you back.
Hi. This is Barbara...
Barb, hi, hi, I'm here.
I just wanted to make sure
who it was before I picked up.
I was just wondering
if you were free tonight.
Things are fine
with Hayden.
Just because I want to spend some
time with my best friend for a change
doesn't mean there's
a problem with Hayden.
(DOORBELL RINGING)
Just a second.
Who is it?
HAYDEN: The man
you love and adore.
I'm sorry, it's nobody.
So how about tonight?
Oh, great.
(POUNDING ON DOOR)
HAYDEN: Christine? Barb, look,
I'm going to have to call you back.
Why don't you pick out
a movie or a restaurant
or a late mass,
I don't care.
I just want to have
some fun. Thanks.
(POUNDING ON DOOR)
Hey, Christine?
What is it, Hayden?
I'm sorry.
For what?
I don't know.
I do know.
Open up, let me tell you.
I'm sorry
I don't like art.
Christine! Hey, Christine,
I know I'm close.
It's in there somewhere.
Now just let me come on in and
talk to you about it, please.
What do you say? Come on.
I don't have
a lot of time here, Hayden.
I am meeting Barbara later.
What is that?
It's a brittle impression of Jan
and she's cold, I don't know.
It cost me 3,000 bucks,
and it's getting heavy.
Forget about the painting.
I just wanted to talk about,
you know, why you're mad at me.
Okay.
Why are you mad at me?
You really don't know?
Well, I know I didn't go
to the art gallery with you
and I was being close-minded.
You said I was being childish,
but, hey, I'm like that
all the time.
Why are you
so mad tonight?
Because I am
fed up, Hayden.
We have been going through this since we
met, and I have had it.
You hate
everything I love.
No, I don't.
You hate art, you hate music, you hate
dance, you hate theater, you hate fish.
Well, I hate those things.
What is it
you like about me?
My wardrobe, my hair,
my nails?
Yes, I like
all those things.
This is just not good
enough anymore, Hayden.
That was fine
in the beginning,
but we have known each other
for almost three years now.
And if we don't have anything
more in common after all this time
than just physical attraction,
I don't know what we're doing together.
Christine, you're saying you want to
end a two and a half year relationship
just because
I don't like stupid art!
This isn't about art,
this is about us!
Christine, stop screaming.
I mean, people will think
we're fighting.
We are fighting, you jerk!
Hey, that's the second time in
two days you called me a jerk!
I'm just pointing that out
to you, Christine.
Oh.
Oh, Hayden,
let's just face it.
We have nothing in common.
Yeah, well,
I mean, that's okay.
I mean, I don't want to break
up, do you?
No, I don't want
to break up.
Well, great. There, see,
we do have something in common.
Now, you add that with your
nails, your hair, your wardrobe,
hey, that's something, huh?
What do you think?
I think maybe I hurt your head
when I slammed the door.
Ah, gee, Christine.
Come on, just tell me
what you want me to do.
I mean, I don't want
to fight anymore.
Just tell me,
and I'll do it.
I don't know if you're capable
of doing what I want you to do.
Well, try me.
Give me a shot.
(SIGHS)
I want you to do for me
what I do for you.
You want me to clean
your bathroom?
Hayden.
Why do you think 1 go to your
football games every Saturday?
Do you think it's because
I love football?
Well, I thought you liked it.
It ranks right up there with
changing a tire at midnight.
But I go,
because you love it.
And I enjoy seeing you get
excited about things you love.
And that's why I wanted you
to go to the gallery with me.
So you want me
to get excited for you
about the things
that you love?
Yes.
Even though for me,
that's like getting my ankle crushed.
That's what you want?
That is
a mature relationship.
But is that what you want?
Heck, Christine,
I can take it if you can.
It's not going to be all
misery and suffering, Hayden.
There's a lot of pleasure
in giving.
Well, I'm open to pleasure.
Oh, boy.
Oh, Christine, I don't
want to sound like a jerk,
but are we okay now?
I'm okay.
Are you okay?
Yeah, yeah,
as long as I have you.
Yeah. Yeah.
Oh, God.
Oh, man.
Now, what are we going to do
about that painting?
I bought it for you.
Yes, I know.
But it's too expensive.
Well, you know, heck, Christine,
we've been together long enough.
It's about time I got you
something expensive.
Besides, you know,
if it's something you love,
then it would give me great
pleasure for you to have it.
Thank you, Hayden.
Unless it would give you more
pleasure to see me have a bass boat.
I didn't mean to tell you.
You goaded me into it.
Hayden is never
going to forgive me.
Hayden's a big boy.
He knows how it is.
I'm not saying he's going
to be thrilled by it,
but what else
can he do?
HAYDEN: (SHOUTING) Christine!
That him?
Oh, God!
Yeah, right. Well, look,
I've got people waiting for me,
so I'll see you, okay?
You say hi to the big guy
for me, okay? Good.
Where's Clifton?
At dinner. Why?
I want to pull his tongue out
and tuck it in his pants.
Hayden, I know you're upset,
and you have every right to be.
I don't know how it happened.
It just slipped out.
I told you it was a
secret, Christine.
I know you did.
I trusted you.
Why would you do it?
I was trying to defend you.
From what? Success?
Bob was saying all these
terrible things about you,
like he always does.
You know how
he likes to get me going.
He was talking about how your
whole season was based on luck
and not skill,
and how you were going to have
an even worse season next year,
and how you weren't good
at recruiting and...
I just couldn't stand to hear
him berate you like that.
He berates me
and you destroy me.
Where do I come out ahead
in that, Christine?
I was just trying to explain
what the circumstances were.
I don't care
what the circumstances were.
I told you a secret.
I expected you to keep it.
Hayden, what can I say?
1 did a terrible thing
and I know it.
I knew it
the second I said it.
And if I could have taken it
back, I would have.
But I couldn't.
And I'm sorry.
I'm sorrier than
I've ever been in my life.
What I did is going to wreck
everything with Bo, isn't it?
Oh, yeah.
(GROANS)
Would it do any good if I called
him and explained things to him?
What are you going to say?
"It's not the coach's fault,
don't blame him.
"He can't trust the people
closest to him"?
I don't know
what else to say.
What I did was unforgivable.
Yeah.
You think so, too?
Well, Hayden,
if you can't forgive me,
what do we do?
I don't know, Christine.
Oh, Kelly! Stuart!
Christine,
what are you doing here?
Cooking.
What are you doing here?
We needed a fish for a
one-act play we were doing
and Kelly's father graciously
lent us his prized rainbow trout
with the stipulation that
if anything happened to it,
he would stuff
and mount me.
Did something happen to it?
Kind of.
We sent it down on a chair
and somebody sat on it.
We tried to glue it back together.
Can you tell?
It looks okay from here.
Great. Then if we hang it back over the
fireplace, he'll never notice.
Did you and Dad make up?
Not yet.
My being here
is kind of a surprise.
I thought I'd try
one more time.
What are you cooking?
Just about everything
that's in the refrigerator.
I was nervous.
The longer I sat,
the more nervous I got.
And when I get nervous,
I cook.
I am the same way.
How does that look?
Fine. He'll never know
it was broken.
(SIGHING) Now maybe
those nightmares will stop.
You know, if you and Dad
are going to talk,
we shouldn't be here.
I don't know
if we're going to talk.
So far, your father
hasn't been very responsive.
I know what you did
was bad,
but it sounds to me like you were
just trying to be supportive.
And I think Dad's a jerk for
staying mad at you this long.
He acts as if he'd be happier
if I just dropped off
the face of the earth.
Boy, I know
how that feels.
What's going on?
Nothing. Nothing.
We just returned your fish.
See, looks good,
doesn't it?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Just no need to give
that fish another thought.
(DOOR CLOSING)
Hi.
What are you doing here?
Making chicken.
I don't get it.
Well, Hayden,
it's been 10 days
and I thought
I'd try to talk to you.
I don't really think there's
anything to talk about.
Look, I could understand why you
didn't feel like talking at first,
and I didn't try
to press it,
but a lot of time
has gone by now and...
I mean, you are planning on
forgiving me someday, right?
Sure. I forgive you.
But you still don't trust me.
Obviously, you can't get past this.
I'm going to go.
I don't know
what more I can do.
I made a mistake.
I can't correct it.
I can only be sorry, but that doesn't
seem to be good enough for you.
I'm just not ready yet,
Christine.
Fine.
When you get ready,
you give me a call.
Let's just hope when you
do that I'm still ready.
The chicken will be ready
in 12 minutes!
Hey, Coach.
Hey, Daub.
What you doing?
Altering my destiny.
Hearing about Danny graduating
has kind of inspired me.
I found out
he's an English major.
So from now on,
I'm an English major, too.
I figured if he can
do it in four years,
I can do it in four years.
Daub, you've been here
eight years.
And you spent the last two
as a Math major.
Now, if you go for
another four-year degree now,
won't that set you back
two years?
I don't know.
Let me see.
Eight plus four
plus two minus two...
What am I trying
to figure out here, Coach?
Nothing, Daub.
Just stick to English.
How's it going, guys?
Hey, Luth.
What are you reading,
Daub?
The Catcher In The Rye.
I thought I was
getting a baseball book,
but so far it's just about
some whiney kid in prep school.
I hate those kids.
Anything new from Bo?
I talked to him this morning.
He's not as upset as he was last week.
Anything new with you
and you-know-who?
Christine?
Well, I didn't want to come
right out and say her name.
Are you two going
to be talking for awhile?
Because if you are,
I'm going to go someplace else and study.
Dauber, this is my office.
(GRUNTING)
As we say in English,
I'll see you anon.
(DOOR CLOSES)
So, how are you
and you-know-who?
Christine.
You can say her name.
Okay, Christine.
There, I said it. You happy?
No.
Hayden, when are you
going to get over this?
You've been on the warpath
for two weeks now.
Slamming doors, barking your head
off, yelling at everybody you see.
Not that anybody'd notice anything
unusual, but I'm closer to you.
I pick up on these things.
What do you want
me to do, Luther?
Make up with her.
She forgives you all the time.
I don't know anybody else
who'd do that.
She's practically a priest.
Hayden, I haven't said anything up till
now, but I've got to tell you,
I think this is as much
your fault as it is hers.
How is it my fault?
If you didn't want
anybody to know,
you shouldn't have
told anybody.
But I didn't tell just
anybody, I told Christine.
If ll can't trust her,
who can I trust?
Luther, what's the point of having
a relationship with somebody
if you can't share
a secret with them?
I mean, sharing does
not come easy for me.
In all the time I was married to
Beth, I was never able to share.
Of course, the courts
put an end to that.
But the thing is,
I changed with Christine.
You know, I opened up,
and look what happened.
But she didn't mean
to do it, Hayden.
She slipped. People slip.
But not Christine!
I mean, I thought of her as being
perfect, and she's not.
She's just like
everybody else.
And I can't help it.
I'm disappointed.
Well, I understand that.
I know Christine's
not perfect.
But, boy, Hayden,
she's close.
Yeah, I know.
Closer than you.
I know.
A lot closer.
Luther...
All right, but she is.
Well, it's your life.
I'm not trying to tell you how to live it.
But I'll tell you one thing.
You can bet Christine's never
going to make this mistake again.
She is close, Hayden.
Real...
Closer than you-know-who.
Well, I guess
I've made my point.
She knows I was mad.
She knows she was wrong.
She's sorry.
Attaboy!
I knew you couldn't
stay mad forever.
Well, I like to think I can,
but I can't.
When are you going to
tell her you forgive her?
I'm gonna go over there
right now.
I just hope when I tell her the
wonderful news that I'm taking her back,
she doesn't throw
something at me.
What are you talking about?
Luther, I've held her over the
fire for a couple of weeks.
Chances are, she's probably
a little fried by now.
If she's mad,
just tell her you're sorry.
Right. I'll tell her
I'm sorry.
I don't believe this,
Luther.
It doesn't matter
who does what to who.
The last chapter is always
me saying I'm sorry.
I had it.
I had her apology
and I wouldn't take it.
I mean, I had it.
The fish was
in the boat.
The Governor is expected to sign
that bill sometime tomorrow.
In Duluth today,
talks broke down
between striking sanitation
workers and city officials.
Union spokesman
George Walton said
that he saw
no immediate end in sight,
and no new talks
have been scheduled.
That garbage strike
is now in its fourth day,
and Duluth residents are hopeful
that the temperatures remain cool.
When we return,
Andrea Hart
will have a report
from Bloomington
on anew fleet
of city school buses,
and Bob Clifton
will have all the sports.
MAN: And we're clear.
Two minutes.
BILL: Who's the idiot
behind the set?
What?
Christine! Hi.
BILL: Excuse me, Coach, is that you?
Yeah.
Get the hell off the set!
Just give us a second here,
Bill, would you?
Hayden, what are you doing here?
I need to talk to you.
In the middle of a broadcast?
Yeah, well,
I know it's a stupid place to do it,
but you know,
I just realized what a jerk I've been.
I could hardly wait
to tell you, Christine.
Anyway, this whole thing,
I learnt something from it... Well...
"To err is human,
and to forgive is divine."
And you're human
and you made an error.
And I'm forgiving you,
so it makes me divine...
I don't know!
This isn't
coming out right!
What I'm trying to say is,
lam forgiving you and, well,
you're back in my life.
What do you say?
(GROANS)
What did you
do that for?
How dare you!
You think you can come waltzing
in here after treating me
like I had the bubonic plague
for the past two weeks,
and then tell me
I'm back in your life?
(GROANS)
Cut that out!
What did you expect me to do?
Fall into your arms and thank you?
What would have been wrong with that?
A hug would have been good.
MAN: 30 seconds.
You put me through hell
these past two weeks!
I thought
I had ruined your team,
I thought
I'd hurt your career,
I was terrified you were
never going to forgive me.
(SOBBING) I haven't been able to
sleep, I can't stop crying.
And you expect me to hug you?
MAN: Ten seconds.
Why didn't you hug me?
Is that all you wanted,
was a hug?
A hug would've been good.
I'll hug you
if you won't hit me.
I won't hit you.
MAN: In five, four,
three, two...
A happy day
for local school children
as a new fleet of bright,
yellow school buses comes to town.
Andrea Hart has the report.
Are we clear?
Yes. Yes.
Are we okay?
Are you really
capable of forgiving me?
BILL: I hope so, because we're
coming back in about 40 seconds.
Yeah,
I can forgive you.
I mean, God knows
you've forgiven me and all
those mistakes I've made.
I really am sorry,
Hayden.
So am I.
I still feel
so bad about Bo.
Hey, losing Bo Whitley
isn't that bad.
Not as bad
as losing each other.
Besides,
can you keep a secret?
No!
Oh, come on.
I want to show
you I can trust you.
Nothing's definite yet,
okay?
But I've talked to Bo
a few times, and he says
that if we're willing to wait
until the end of the season
there's a chance he may play
for Minnesota State.
Hayden, that's wonderful!
MAN: In 10, Christine.
I can't tell you how much better I feel.
Yeah, me, too.
MAN: Four, three, two...
Thank you, Andrea.
And with scores and highlights
from the world of sports,
here's our own
Bob Clifton. Bob?
Thank you, Christine.
Well, sports fans,
that on-again,
off-again transfer
of super-talent Bo Whitley
to Minnesota State
just might be
on again!
This reporter
has just learned...
HAYDEN: Tell me
when we're clear!
Uh-oh.
What?
Did you know that one of your
arms is longer than the other one?
You're kidding.
No, no. Your right arm is about a quarter
of an inch longer than your left one.
Is that a problem?
Not for me.
It's not my arm.
For making the suit.
Oh, no problem at all.
But if I were you, I'd always carry
something heavy in your left hand.
I'm kidding.
Well, stop it.
(KNOCKING AT DOOR)
Dad? Hey, guys. Come on in.
How are you doing?
Fine.
Are you being
measured for a suit?
No, I'm getting
an artificial leg, Stu.
You wouldn't be getting a new suit
for the sports banquet, would you?
Why?
Because we kind of wanted
to talk to you about that.
We know you're going to win
the Curley O'Brien Award,
and I know you were counting on
Stuart and me being there for it,
but we got this chance to go with a
bunch of kids to Chicago, Saturday,
to see
the Royal Shakespeare Company.
They're wonderful.
For you, it would be...
It would be like taking
your team to a Fruit Bowl!
And we were just thinking that since
Christine and Luther and Dauber
and all those guys on the team
are all going to be there,
would it really matter
if two theater majors,
who don't really know anything
about sports to begin with,
begged off
and instead experienced
what would burn brightly as the
most memorable night of their lives?
Banquet's at 7:30, right?
Right.
We'll see you there.
Uh-huh.
Ladies and gentlemen,
fellow coaches, alumni,
I don't know what to say.
This is going to be
some party, Coach.
Yeah, well, it will if I win
the Curley O'Brien Award, boy.
ATHLETE: Oh, don't worry,
you'll win.
Huh? Oh, come on,
let's not be too overconfident here.
But you're giving
a victory party.
Hi.
Oh, is this all for tonight?
I thought it was just going to
be a few friends and family.
Well, it was, but you know
how these things go.
I mean, after you win
an award like this,
there's usually
an impromptu dinner afterward.
I just thought I'd plan for it.
I mean, if I win the award.
Hayden, you know
you're going to win the award.
That's why
you're throwing this party.
Oh, I wish everybody
would quit saying that.
The only reason
I'm throwing the party,
is because I happen to love the
spirit of the Curley O'Brien Award
and everything it represents.
Last year
you said it was a
"bogus award handed out by a
jury of feeble-minded geezers
"who wouldn't recognize
a coaching achievement
"if it bit them
on their sagging bottoms."
How do you remember
those things?
(KNOCKING AT DOOR)
Hey, Howard.
Hi, Christine.
Hello, Howard.
I'm going to go
put these things away, Hayden.
All right.
There he is.
King of the hill. Top of the heap.
Man of the hour.
All ready for the big night?
Well, I'm anxious to honor whoever might
happen to win the Curley O'Brien Award.
Oh, come on.
Everybody knows who's going to win.
I know, you know,
Curley knows.
Is that him?
Fresh from the trophy maker.
You want to see?
Oh, no! No.
I don't want to see him before tonight.
I mean, it might be bad luck.
You don't need luck tonight,
you're a shoo-in.
Look, who does the award
traditionally go to?
Either a coach that's had a great
success or a terrible illness.
Everyone's been healthy,
so there's no pity vote.
And who's had a better year than you?
You were 7-and-4.
That is the best coaching record
for Minnesota State football
since Curley O'Brien himself.
(WHISPERING)
Okay, I'll take a peek.
Yeah.
Curley...
Do you really think
he's mine?
I think he winked at you,
Hayden.
Where are you going to put him?
I don't know.
I'll probably have
something built.
Like a shelf?
Or a room.
Hey, Christine,
look who's here.
Oh, my.
Is that the award?
Yeah, that's Curley.
Don't touch him.
Sorry.
I just don't want you to put
a curse on it or anything.
I've never seen you this
anxious about an award before.
Christine, this is the highest
award the university gives out.
Come on,
I've been there eight years
and all the years I've had
to go to that stupid banquet
and see somebody else
get all that applause.
I mean, I want the applause
to be for me.
And tonight you'll have it.
Well, listen,
I've got to go back
and get Curley buffed
before the banquet.
See you tonight.
Hey, see you tonight.
Luther. Dauber.
Close your eyes.
Huh?
Close your eyes.
Okay, come on over here.
Come on, I got you. Okay.
Okay.
Turn around, turn around,
turn around.
All right.
You ready?
Uh-huh.
Okay, open your eyes.
Okay, I still can't see.
What is that?
A little surprise
from the coaching staff,
except for Mackenzie,
who wouldn't kick in.
It's a trophy case.
We had it made.
It's got lights in the top
and an electric turntable
on the bottom
so the award can revolve
for eternity.
I don't know what to say, you guys.
That's beautiful.
It ought to be.
It's simulated oak veneer.
We thought you could
put it in your bedroom
so the last thing you see at
night before you go to sleep
and the first thing you see
in the morning
when you wake up
will be Curley.
Except, of course,
when Christine is over.
Excuse me,
chicken or beef?
Chicken or beef?
Chicken or beef?
This is table 16, right?
NUN: Uh-huh.
And you're here
with the Fox party?
Yes.
Okay...
Hey.
Oh, there they are.
Hi, guys.
Hey, how you doing?
(ALL CHATTERING)
Dad.
Hi, sweetheart.
Hi, everybody.
Wow, you look great!
A tuxedo, huh?
Yeah, I guess it is.
Who are the nuns?
Oh, hey, everybody, I'd like you to
meet a couple of friends of mine.
This is Sister Mary Katherine,
Sister Mary Grace.
Sisters, this is my girlfriend,
Christine Armstrong.
My assistant coach,
Luther Van Dam.
(GREETING IN LATIN)
My secretary, Mrs. Thorkelson.
How do you do?
Another one of my assistants,
Dauber Dybinski.
And, of course, Judy Watkins,
our girls' basketball coach.
Women's basketball coach.
What did I say?
You said, "girls."
Oh, well, I gave them the gender,
I thought that was being generous.
And, of course, I guess you met my
daughter, Kelly, and her friend, Stuart.
Husband.
Whatever.
The Sisters
are my guests tonight.
I thought if I were blessed
enough to win the award,
I thought I'd donate my
honorarium to their convent.
Well, I don't know
if he told you,
but he's donating a lot more
than his honorarium.