Chuck (2007–2012): Season 3, Episode 7 - Chuck Versus the Mask - full transcript

Hi, I'm Chuck.
A few things you need to know.

I just got fired from my job.

Meeting you almost makes it worth it.

If you find yourself without a job...

...my assistant manager owes me
a million and a half favors.

Here's the thing. I like her.

There's something weird
with Chuck and Devon.

- Like they're keeping this big secret.
- Finally, someone with common sense.

- We have to figure out what's going on.
- I got my best men on it.

Perfect.

Casey, things are getting
a little hairy in here.



Please tell me the Intersect isn't busy.

Busy? For you?

Never.

- I want you to teach me, Chuck.
- Oh, really, do you?

Well, I assume you're referring
to Nerd Herding, but I warn you.

The road to computer enlightenment
is a long and treacherous one.

Bring it on.

Speaking of, how about you bring me
on your next install?

Whoa, easy there.

Before you can run, you must
learn to crawl, young grasshopper.

Okay. Well, maybe you prefer
to go with Jeff.

Just the two of you crammed
into the tiny hot Nerd Herd mobile?

Well played, newbie.

- Next assignment, you ride shotgun.
- Nice.



Excuse me for just one second.

I'm in the middle...

- It's Shaw. It's bad.
- Can't it wait?

- Not unless you want him to suffocate.
- Suffocate? What are you talking about?

What's up, Hannah?

If you need anyone
to show you around the, uh, Buy More...

- Who is that?
Super-hot blond, heart of ice?

Yeah. That's Chuck's ex, Sarah.

Oh. What's their deal?

Well, deal is Sarah dumped his ass
and, uh, broke his heart.

Now she can't resist stomping on it.

Look at my boy.

Ah, poor sap.

- Everything all right?
- Yeah. Gotta run. Nerd Herd emergency.

Huh? I didn't get the call.
And, technically, all on-sites...

...should run through
the assistant manager.

Oh. Carry on.

Wait a minute. I'm the boss.

- Took you long enough.
- Good to see you too.

You mind telling me
what Shaw's doing?

He's got five minutes of air left.

- What am I doing?
- Getting on the museum's server...

...rebooting the system
and opening the vault.

- They'll never let me on.
- I took the liberty of crashing it.

The only way to stop the alarm.

Unless you get on, there's no way
to open the vault. Get in there.

Oh, you're here.
Thank heavens someone called you.

- Yeah. What seems to be the problem?
- I'm curator of classical art.

I've never even touched one of these
in my life.

All I know is the museum
went into full lockdown mode.

It's designed to protect
the collection from fire.

But unless you fix it, there's no way
to control the temperature or humidity.

Some of these pieces
are extremely sensitive.

So am I, Chuck.

We're in the crawlspace above the vault.

We're trying to get the door open.

Four inches of solid steel.
We could try blowing the hatches.

- I'll use C-4.
- No. Shaw's too close. You'll kill him.

It's up to you, Chuck.
You gotta get this door open.

Some of these artifacts are
over 3000 years old.

To have survived that long...

...and then to be ruined
by some stupid computer system...

Uh, if you don't mind,
I could really use a little breathing room.

- Oh.
- That's right. Step aside.

We are the professionals.

- What are you doing here?
- Surprise.

I saw your Nerd Herder parked outside.
You said I could ride shotgun.

So, what's the problem?

- Get rid of her.
- Shaw's got less than a minute.

Look, I don't care which of you it is,
but please do something.

Ever restarted a server
from the backup database?

- Ah, now you're just insulting me.
- Show me what you got.

Run the config script off Server 1.

Validated. Next?

Just blow the hatch.

Blow the hatch.

- What about the mask?
- I'm dying.

Roger that.

- Fire in the hole.
- No, don't!

Don't, computer. Don't do that.

I'm just talking to the computer,
because sometimes I feel like it helps.

I need you to reboot on three.

One, two....

Oh, my God, we did it.
We did it. Hey.

We did it. Ha-ha-ha!

Not bad for your first mission.

Splendid work. Absolutely topnotch.

- Really. I can't thank you enough.
- Well, hey, anytime.

- All right, how about tomorrow night?
- What?

With the unveiling
of the Mask of Alexander.

Everyone in the art world's gonna
be there and I'd like you to be also.

I appreciate the invitation...

Heavens, no, I'm not inviting you.
I'm hiring you.

See, I want you there to insure that,
well, there's no more, uh....

Uh, what do you call them?

- Bugs.
Take the job, Chuck.

You and your new partner are gonna help
us steal the Mask of Alexander.

So, what do you say, partner?

It's a date.

Magnificent.
- Isn't it?

- What is that?
- Double-shot Americano.

No cream, no sugar.
Just the way you like it.

Oh.

Almost forgot.

I noticed you like to chew them
when you get nervous.

Hi, gang.

- Hey, hey, hey. What's going on?
- Thanks for joining us, gentlemen.

You've guessed the CIA is not interested
in stealing the Mask of Alexander.

We believe this artifact and others...

...are being used to smuggle
items through Customs.

- What sort of items?
- Items of interest to The Ring.

This was three months ago
at the National Museum of Damascus.

A team broke in
but didn't take anything.

The Ring broke in to hide something
inside the mask?

Traveling exhibitions
don't have to go through screening.

We have to secure the mask
before The Ring does.

Chuck, you'll be in the control room
in case of any snags.

Casey, you'll handle surveillance.

Sarah, you and I will pose
as guests at the party.

We'll swap the mask before
the unveiling, with this reproduction.

Any questions? Concerns?

You mean other than us
bringing a civilian on the mission?

- I have new tranq darts to try out.
- No, no, I can handle Hannah.

Besides, she can cover for me
in my Nerd Herd duties...

...if case you guys
need to call in the big guns.

That... That would be me.

When I say "big guns,"
I'm referring to myself.

You know, do I need to flash?
Glad we had this talk.

- Morgan. Ah!
- Hey.

Chuck would freak if he knew
we were meeting like this.

Morgan, you told me Jeff and Lester would
get to the bottom of Chuck's secret.

I may have overstated
their abilities a bit.

What I can tell you is that Chuck
is hardly ever at work...

...always ducking in and out
on weird Nerd Herd calls.

Yeah, like his mysterious trip to Paris.
He's been acting weird ever since.

- Right. Wanna know what I think?
- Not really.

- Fine. I think Chuck's protecting us.
- Protect us from what?

I don't think he wants us to know
that he's gone to the dark place.

- Oh, you don't mean...?
- Yeah. Junior year, when Jill dumped him.

He sat in his room and played
"GoldenEye" for three months.

- Who knew you could get bedsores?
- This makes total sense.

This time Sarah breaks Chuck's heart,
sends Chuck into an emotional tailspin.

Let's not panic. Let's not panic.

- I'll see what I can find out, you know.
- How?

I'm assistant manager at the Buy More.
I have my methods.

All right, let's see here.

- Phillips screwdriver set?
- Check.

Dummy artifact?
- Check.

- Harnesses?
Check.

- And needle-nose pliers?
- Check.

- Descender line?
- Check.

Fantastic.

Well, lock and load.

You ready, Agent Walker?
- Of course I'm ready.

It's just this is our first mission
in the field...

...so I wanna make sure
that we're both on the same page.

So you ready
for your first mission, Hannah?

- Mission?
- Well, I'm just trying to say that...

...you know, you never know
what's gonna happen out there.

Outside the protection of the Buy More.

You and me,
we're going behind enemy lines.

Okay.

Let's talk about how many
dates we've been on.

We are playing a couple tonight,
so, what do you think?

Uh, one, two, five?

Does it really make a difference?

It informs our cover.

Our chemistry, body language.

For instance,
have we slept together yet?

- Ha, ha. You gotta be kidding me.
- No, it changes the whole dynamic.

Well, in that case, no.
We definitely have not slept together.

Good to know.

All right.
Well, uh, make yourselves comfortable.

I trust I shan't be seeing either of
you two again this evening.

The vault is scheduled to open
at precisely 8:00.

The unveiling must go off
without a hitch.

No more bugs, no more crashes,
no more...

No problem.

... problems.

The mask is in this vault.
It opens at 8.

Doesn't give us much time
to make the swap.

I thought I made myself clear
about our cover.

Heh. Just because
we haven't slept together...

...doesn't mean we have to act
like this is a middle-school dance.

Over there. Behind that door.

There's a staircase that leads up
to the top of the vault.

Keep an eye out
on the security cameras.

Up to your right...

...and straight ahead.

Are we good, Agent Walker?

Yes, we're fine. Thank you.

Man, it really is impressive.

The size of Alexander's empire.
You know what I mean?

Can you keep a secret, Chuck?

Huh? Uh, uh... Ahem.

Yeah, yeah. It's, uh, kind of my forte.

Do you wanna know the real reason
that I took this job?

Um, was it the snazzy outfits?

No, it was the barely livable wage.

You.

Uh, me? Really me?

It's not like I haven't been
giving you signals.

I hope this isn't too forward.

No. No, forward is good.

In that case....

What did I do?

- Is there something wrong?
- You and your ex-girlfriend...?

Yeah? What, who, Sarah?

Yeah. Morgan said that
you guys were done.

Hundred percent. Dunzo. Why?

That is her, right?

Any idea what she's doing here?

Other than making you jealous...

...with that ridiculously
good-looking date of hers.

Ridiculously good... Him? Him?

No. Yeah, if you're into the... Ahem.

The strong kind of Superman-y
type of a g...

Um, I am gonna be right back.

- Chuck, what are you doing here?
- The Ring agent who broke into...

...the museum in Damascus,
Vasillis, is here.

And when I say here,
I mean in the same room here.

Look over there.

We have to abort.

We don't have a choice.
Vasillis and I have history.

Are you sure he remembers you?

You tend to remember the guy
who set your face on fire.

Uh, yeah, it looks like your friend
isn't alone either.

They're casing the place,
here to grab the mask.

- We'd better move right now.
- I'm not sending you in alone.

Hey, it's okay. I'll go with her.

You don't know
what you're dealing with.

Get out of here, Shaw.
Unless you wanna blow the cover.

Chuck and I can handle the mask.

All right. Casey and I will be
in the van if you need us.

Well, what do you say, partner?

Let's go.

Watch those security cameras.

We have to assume The Ring's tapped
into those as well.

Yeah, I'm one step ahead of you.
Sorry, Hannah.

Oh, no. No, no, no.

What's that beeping noise?

- What... ? Where's your partner?
- Um, he's, uh....

Actually, I don't know.

Look, people have traveled from all over
to be here tonight.

Now, I don't care what's going on.
Just fix it.

You have five minutes
until the grand unveiling.

Now, go.

Okay. You have to lower me
into the vault by hand.

Here.

So you and Shaw looked like
you were having fun at the party tonight.

- What's that supposed to mean?
- I'm just saying, you make a cute couple.

Shaw and I are playing a cover.

Whatever. The guy...

Walker and Bartowski turn off
their mikes?

No, I did. Those two gab
like schoolgirls out in field.

- It's murder on the ears.
- That's ridiculous.

Ridiculous? He couldn't keep
his hands off of you.

The way he brings you coffee
every morning?

Seriously? You don't see...?
You gotta be blind.

You're one to talk.

- What's that supposed to mean?
- Oh, nothing.

Since Hannah showed up, she hasn't
been able to keep her hands off you.

Cut the girl a break.
You guys are cute together.

Hannah and I are colleagues.

Forgive me
for trying to be professional.

Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't realize professional
meant having her perfume all over you.

Come on. We got a mask to steal.

Sir, we're ready.

Vasillis sent his men to the vault.
They have the code.

Walker, you've got company.

Bartowski, you copy?

Unh. My hands are kind of full here.

Hi there.

Aah!
Chuck!

Hang on, Chuck. I got you.

It's five past 8.

- Why isn't the vault opening?
- Keep your shirt on. Almost there.

Almost there.

Yes.

Bartowski,
I thought you took care of the vault.

It's the girl, Hannah.
She must be using Bartowski's laptop.

- Are we still tapped in remotely?
- Go.

Opening the vault right now.
- Thank you so much.

No, no. Why is this happening?
Why is this happening?

Chuck.

I got it, I got it.
- Chuck.

She broke the connection.

Go, go, go.

Clear, clear, we're clear.
Clear.

Ta-da.

Hey, I'll meet you back at Castle.

Give me a few minutes to pack up
and smooth things over with Hannah.

Hey, Hannah. Sorry about that.

Where the hell have you been?

How could you abandon me like that
on my first Nerd Herd assignment?

- Forget it. I know where you were.
- You do?

Yes. I saw you with your ex-girlfriend.

Why would you tell me that things
were over when they're clearly not?

It's not what you think.

Okay. Then what is it?

Sarah and I have
a very unique relationship.

Wow. That sounds really special.

I... I cannot believe that I made such an ass
out of myself kissing you like that.

No. No, you didn't. I'm the ass.

Yes, clearly. I think we should just
keep things professional from now on.

No, Hannah, let me make it up to you.

Forget it, Chuck. Don't bother.

I'll see you at work.

Weirdo.

- Dude, that's like six knocks short.
- I don't know the knock.

- Can I come in?
- Yes, he's asleep.

He didn't get home till God-knows-when
after doing God-knows-what.

I thought he was at work.

Yeah, so did I.
Till I got a pissed-off call from the museum.

Chuck bailed on the Nerd Herd
and left his partner behind.

Does that sound familiar?

- Great, so we're back to square one.
- Not necessarily.

- I had an epiphany last night.
- What's that?

- It's a sudden intuitive realization.
- I know what an epiphany is, Morgan.

- I'm asking what epiphany you had.
- Ah. Right.

I think we might be going
about this all wrong, okay?

Let's sit Chuck down,
and have an intervention.

Force him to be honest.
Only way to get to the bottom of this.

Get to the bottom of what?

Nothing. Probably my breakfast.

No. What? Good morning.

Hi, morning. Morning, Ellie.

Okay, well,
we're gonna be late for work.

Oh, look at that. My goodness.

- We can't do this now.
- You said intervention.

- Cloak and dagger.
- What is wrong with you? Coward.

That's who stole my mask.

Pause it.

Who is she?

Oh, he's good.

A real Casanova, this one.

He used the blond
to get into the vault...

...and seduced the computer girl
to access the security system.

It's time to see
how cold-hearted our thief really is.

Tough night at the museum?

- Curator called me, gave me an earful.
- Oh, really?

- What did he say?
- I don't really know.

I have a hard time making out
British accents, you know.

To me it's just, "Oi, bloody this!"

It kind of reminds me
of Mrs. Doubtfire. Heh.

Which is an awesome flick. Heh.

So, what did happen last night?

Well, you know,
I don't wanna point any fingers.

Don't snitch. Code of the streets. Heh.

- What are you talking about?
- Your loyalty to Chuck.

I get it. You wanna protect your boss.

But here's the thing.
I'm his boss, is what I'm saying.

I don't want you to think of me
as your boss's boss.

Rather as a friend, ultimately,
you know.

And a friend you can tell anything to.

And I do mean anything.

Excuse me.

- Hello, Nerd Herd.
I'm calling from the museum.

Another doofus with an accent.
Can you believe this?

How may I help you?

We are still having problems
with our computer system.

Perhaps you can send the girl
you sent last night?

- Uh, you must mean Hannah?
- Right.

- Hannah.
- Oh, absolutely.

She'd be happy to come back out.

To make up for the hiccup,
it's on the house.

I could send her supervisor along...
But I cannot do that, actually.

- Um, he's busy.
- I'm sure she'll be able to handle...

- ...the problem herself.
- She will indeed, absolutely.

Okay.

Thank you, Morgan.
You are a great friend.

That's very sweet of you.

And also very poignant...

...because I believe that that's
a great place to start, you know.

Then we can build from there.

Oh, God.

Morning, Walker.

Okay. We need to talk.

- About last night?
- About everything.

About professional boundaries.

About you bringing me coffee
every morning...

...and noticing I like to chew
on my swizzle sticks.

You're embarrassing us both.

We are just colleagues
and that is all we'll ever be.

So please keep your coffee and
your cheesy come-ons to yourself.

Okay? You got that?

Good. Now let's get back to work.

I feel like I should probably apologize
to Colonel Casey.

Hey, Shaw.

Thanks for the coffee.
Just the way I like it. Black and bitter.

Hello?

Nerd Herd.

Hi. Someone called.

Yes. Thank you for coming.

- Where's the old curator?
- He's tied up.

I'm the assistant curator.

This way.

We've been having problems
with the security system in the vault.

If you don't mind having a look....

I really just fix computers.

You seem like a smart girl.

You'll figure it out.

- Oh. You don't happen to have a phone?
- No, I left it in the car.

Don't worry.

Hey. Hey.

- Nerd Herd, how can I help you?
You can bring me my mask.

Uh, you have the wrong number, sir.

Let me rephrase. Either you bring me
the mask or I kill your girlfriend.

Morgan, have, uh...
Have you seen Hannah?

Yeah, she's on a call.
Something at the museum.

Sir, first of all, uh, I don't have a girlfriend,
just for clarification's sake.

Second, like I mentioned earlier,
this is the Nerd Herd desk. So unless...

I know who you are.

If you want to see the girl alive, you'll
come to the museum, and come alone.

She runs out of air in 50 minutes.

Bring me my mask.

Ahem. Hey, buddy. Uh, here we go.

- Chuck, I think we need to talk.
- Not a good time.

You know what?
I don't care anymore.

Listen, I'm your best friend, dude.

At least I used to be, and I deserve...

No, I demand to know what the hell's
going on with you lately.

Chuck? You gotta be kidding me.

Hmm. Check the base.

- Chuck.
- Sarah. Sarah, I need the mask now.

Vasillis knows and he wants it back.

He grabbed Hannah.
I'm coming down the tunnel.

- That can't be good.
- Uh, Chuck, don't come here.

We think the mask is some kind of a...

No.

- Oh, no. Guys, guys, it's poison.
- You think?

It's a designer weapon
for battlefield use.

The counteragent can be taken
up to an hour after exposure.

Or what?

Look, don't worry.
I'm gonna get the counteragent.

He wouldn't ship the weapon
without it. It's gotta be back at the...

Casey, gear up.
We're heading back to the museum.

This is never gonna work.
- It'll work. Here.

Okay. Okay, fine.

Let's say we fool Vasillis with
another fake mask and save Hannah.

That doesn't solve
the counteragent problem.

What about Sarah and Shaw?
Do we have enough time to save them?

Wait, wait, I got it.
I got it, we gas him.

That's a great plan,
except the weapon has been deployed.

Yeah, but Vasillis doesn't know that.

I've got some smoke grenades
in the back.

Funny. I don't feel like I'm dying.

Chuck will come through for us.

In case he doesn't...

...I wanted to clear
the air between us.

It turns out
I haven't been completely honest.

About, uh, the coffee and how
I was acting at the museum.

Truth is, I was hitting on you.

It was completely unprofessional
and I apologize.

I owe you an apology as well.
I overreacted.

The way you touched my neck
at the party...

...I guess it was kind of nice.

Really?

Really.

Well, then, I'm glad we had this talk.

Yeah. Me too.

Poison's been contained.
Room's been cleared.

You need that antidote soon.
We gotta get you out of here.

All right. All right.

Stop there.

Show me my mask.

Show me my Nerd Herder.

She's in the vault.

Oh, look at the time.

Air must be getting a little thin.

I'll blow the vault.
I can't promise she'll be okay.

- I did what you asked. Let her out.
- If it were up to me, sure.

She would walk free.

But the people you've stolen from,
The Ring?

They're not so forgiving.

Do what you want to me.
But the girl had nothing to do with this.

You're in no position
to make demands.

You gave up any leverage
you might have had...

...when you walked in with the mask.

Not quite.

We all know what's inside this mask.

So either you open that door
and let her out or I release the gas.

I don't believe you.

Well, that's too bad. You should've.

- You've killed us all, you idiot.
- There's a counteragent, right?

- Where is it?
- It's in a vase.

There's hundreds of them. Which one?

How am I supposed to know?

- I wasn't going to steal it personally.
- Oh, I see, I'm the idiot?

Come on, Chuck. One of these
things is not like the others.

- Time's up, Chuck.
- No, Casey, wait.

I found the counteragent.
Meet me in the control room.

When do I get to blow something up?

Casey, here.
How much time they got left?

Don't worry about that.
You get her out of the vault.

- You don't have enough time, do you?
- Focus, Bartowski.

Even if they are lost, we still have
a civilian in there. Get her out of there.

Come on, come on. Yes!

Hey, Sarah, Shaw.
Here's the counteragent.

I'm gonna go release the curator.

- You okay?
- Yeah.

Yeah, thank you.

Hannah. Hannah.

Hannah. Hannah.

- What happened?
- You were...

You passed out and I think, uh, somehow,
you got trapped in the vault.

Oh, my God.

I could have died in here.

You saved my life, Chuck.

Well, I don't...

Oh, hey.

Hey. Hey.

- I know I acted weird the other night.
- Forget it.

Nice work, everyone.

And you. I owe you one, Bartowski.

Oh, come on.
Just because I saved your life. Twice.

Don't mention it.

It wasn't just my life.

Yeah. You also helped secure
a rogue chemical weapon.

Guys, look, I appreciate a ticker-tape
parade just like the next guy.

But come on, I got a great team.

And that brings us
to our next point of business.

Well, uh, Chuck,
you're not going to have us forever.

The Intersect
was originally designed...

...so that agents could work
autonomously.

We're your training wheels.

And your performance tells me
that it's about time for us to come off.

Hope you're ready for
your big-boy bike, Bartowski.

Huh.

Hey.

Uh, I just wanted to make sure
you were okay.

Yeah. I guess I've gotten used
to us being a team, you know.

Well, we're not going anywhere yet.
But Shaw's right.

At some point, I'm just gonna be
standing in your way.

And not just professionally.

Right.

Sure you're okay
with the Hannah thing?

Oh, I shouldn't have
given you a hard time.

She's great, and....

How do you think I feel
about you and Shaw?

I mean, you two are perfect together.

- It's disgusting.
- Oh.

In a heartwarming kind of way.

All I know is the guy carried you
out of Castle on his back...

...while you were both dying.

So if I have to see you with someone else,
it might as well be a hero, right?

What can I say? I have a type.

I'll see you, Sarah.

Bye, Chuck.

Well done on the knock.
- Really?

Yeah.

- Is Chuck here?
- Slinking around somewhere, yeah.

- Uh, you ready to do this?
- Time for an intervention.

What is Chuck doing here so late?

This is exactly the behavior
I was talking about.

Your brother,
he is into something weird here.

No, no, we shouldn't...

We can't, I'm scared.

Listen to me.
Whatever is going on behind that door...

...we need to know about, okay?

This is for Chuck.

Phew. For Chuck. You go.

- You go.
- Okay, I'll go.

Oh, my....

Oh, my God.

Chuck has a secret girlfriend.

This means
he's moving on with his life...

...and he's not wallowing in self-pity
and playing video games.

- It's just such a relief.
- Phew.

Such a relief. Man.

Okay, I'm gonna head out.
You two coming?

Uh, no. I'm gonna finish up in here.

Yeah. I'm pretty buried too, so....

Ah.

We both know how dangerous this is.

Relax, Sarah.

I'm the safest guy in the world.

Are you sure it was him?

I'd never mistake Daniel Shaw.

What are you going to do to him?

Same thing I'm going to do to you.