Chuck (2007–2012): Season 3, Episode 6 - Chuck Versus the Nacho Sampler - full transcript

CHUCK: Hi, I'm Chuck. Here's
a few things that you might need to know.

[DEVON GRUNTS]

Devon is out of the spy business
for good.

- Please don't say another mission.
CHUCK: You're back.

HANNAH:
I'm Hannah.

If you ever find yourself in Burbank,
my assistant manager owes me...

...about a million and a half favors.

Stop the presses. Who is that?
Vicki Vale.

[SINGING]
Vicki Vale, Vick, Vicki Vale.

Vickity, vickity, Vicki Vale.

Vick, va, Vicki Vale...



MORGAN: Remember when
Sarah first walked into the Buy More?

What was it like?

Was it love at first sight?

I don't know, but whatever it was,
it changed my life forever.

- Why?
- No reason.

- Morning, guys.
- Hi.

- Hi.
- Morning.

Right on time. Heh. Yes.

All right, everybody, back to work.

Real taskmaster, that, uh, Morgan.

Yeah, I can tell.

So my first day as a Nerd Herder.
Any advice?

Oh, uh, let's see...
Well, let's start with the 5-cent tour.

I like to consider myself the Jack Hanna
of this untamed wilderness.



Me, safe. Everyone else, very dangerous.

They all look creepy,
but I am that sure you will protect me.

Indeed. Indeed.

You stay by us, sister. You'll be safe.

- Charles.
- Hannah, Lester, Jeff.

Two of the finest members
of our Buy Moron staff.

Hannah, namaste.

Nice.

All right. Give Jeff an opportunity
to realize that he's in public.

Thank you. So I was going through
the Nerd Herd manual...

...and I have a few questions
about how to file an install.

[CHUCKLES]

Let me get this straight.

You went over the Nerd Herd manual
in your off time?

Are you gonna be a problem?

I know this isn't my dream job,
but I thought that while I'm here...

...I would be the best Nerd Herder
you have.

Well, as you probably saw,
that's not an insurmountable goal.

You must be pretty committed.
Going to Paris on an install?

Yeah... Uh... Uh...

Um, you know, about... About that...

The whole Paris thing....
Can we keep that between us?

I don't want everyone else
getting jealous.

Yogurt time.

Oh, is it... ? Is it yogurt time already?

Uh, yogurt, the most important meal
of the day.

I will give you the full Chuck Bartowski
tutorial when I get back. I promise.

I'm gonna totally hit that.

May the best stalker win.

Oops.

Hey. Where's Shaw?

Off grid on a covert mission.

It's not your concern
where Agent Shaw is, Mr. Bartowski.

Oh, uh, that's actually
Agent Bartowski now.

Don't know if you heard, but I completed
my first solo mish last week.

Paris, international op.

But you probably have been briefed.

We've traced a large sum of money
from a Ring account...

...into a civilian account.

I want to know why.
What's the money for?

The civilian's name is Manoosh Depak.
Trained as a computer engineer.

Dropped out of MIT
after his freshman year.

Classic geek tragedy. Sound familiar?

BECKMAN: We sent a virus that destroyed
the CPU of his custom computer...

...and bought up every Series Eight CPU
within 30 miles.

He'll come into the Buy More
to replace it.

Develop him as an asset,
Agent Bartowski.

Find out what he's doing for the Ring.

That's it? That's the whole mission?

Have it done by lunch.

Don't get cocky, Bartowski.
One "mish" does not an agent make.

SARAH:
Chuck, you can't take this lightly.

Developing an asset
is very tricky business.

You need to insinuate yourself into their
life, have them trust you completely...

...knowing that one day you're
probably gonna have to burn them.

The trick is to find the hole in their life.
Fill it.

This Manoosh loser,
he's a loner. Friendless.

And the asset has entered the store.
Showtime, Bartowski.

Don't worry, guys. Piece of cake.

"Mish."

Chuck's not ready for an asset.

We're advancing him too quickly.
I'm worried.

Our job's not to worry. It's to train.
Three o'clock.

[OVER RADIO]
He's with the newest Buy Moron.

Can I help you, sir?

HANNAH: Chuck, I got it.
CHUCK: No, let me help.

She's still in training.

I'd rather have her help me.

No, Chuck, I'm ready.
I can handle a simple sale.

Hannah, no sales are simple.

But don't worry, you will get your chance
to shine as soon as you're ready.

Okay.

[CHUCK CLEARS THROAT]

Ah, sorry about that.

Alone at last.

- What can I do you for?
- Nothing.

Now that you ruined my flow
with that hottie.

Let me ring you up.

Uh, are you from around here?
Is that a Burbankian accent I detect?

Woodland Hills.

See? I knew I heard the familiar twang
of the San Fernando Valley.

Your eyes are hypnotic.
Chestnut? Hazel?

Get a room, Bartowski.
You're not asking him out on a date.

- I'll get the CPU somewhere else.
- Wait, wait, wait. No, no. Uh....

- You should just take it.
- What do you mean?

It's on the house.
For the inconvenience with the hottie.

You sure? I mean, isn't that illegal?

It's on me.

Ease up. You're coming on strong.

Here's my card, if you have computer
problems, or if you wanna chat.

You know, rap a little.

Thanks.

CASEY: Idiot.
CHUCK: I'm not trying to pressure you.

No biggie. You have my card.
If you call, you call.

[ALARM BEEPING]

It's okay. I'll hold them off. Call me.

I stand corrected. He's not ready.

Thank you.

WOMAN [ON TV]:... tablespoon of chopped
basil. It's a good idea to add basil...

[KEYS CLANK]

DEVON: Aah!
- Oh, are you okay?

Yeah.

Yeah, just caught up
in this fascinating article...

...on kidney failure.

You've been jittery lately.

Ever since the generalissimo's party
you've haven't been acting like yourself.

Well, I just haven't been sleeping lately.
Nothing to worry about.

You don't rock-climb anymore.
You never work out.

You just lay around
and watch TV all day.

It's like I'm married to Morgan.

I pulled a hammy, I'll have you know.

I'll be back on the bike in no time.

Can I ask you a question about Chuck?

[GRUNTS]

- Oh.
- Yeah, but he's your brother.

I can't imagine
I can tell you anything about him.

Did you know
he went to Paris last week?

I found this claim ticket for
Charles de Gaulle Airport on his luggage.

Yeah. Yeah, uh, he mentioned it.

Mentioned it? Why wouldn't he...?

Why wouldn't he say anything?
He's always wanted to go to Paris.

- Did he see the Eiffel Tower?
- Yeah, he did.

No, he didn't. I don't know.

Damn it. I am late for my rounds.
Gotta run.

No, Devon. Wait a minute.

You're not telling me something.
What's going on?

Going on? What, like a conspiracy?

- You're freaking.
- You are hiding something. What is it?

That I love you? Which I'm not hiding.

Let's talk about this later.
There are kidneys failing as we speak.

Devon. De...

[SIGHS]

What are you doing Friday?
You wanna hang in my van?

What about Thursday?
And I'm disease-free.

I don't think Mr. Barnes
can say the same.

- That was low.
- All's fair, kiddo.

Yeah, I think that I'm pretty booked up
this week.

- Hannah, can I see you for a second?
HANNAH: Oh, yeah.

Remember what I said. Me, safe.
Everyone else, very, very dangerous.

How'd you like to start phase one
of the tutorial?

I thought you'd never ask.

- Yogurt time.
- Most important meal of the day.

- Uh, we'll talk later.
- What about the tutorial?

Lesson number one: never work hungry.

LESTER:
Very dangerous, huh?

- Can I talk to you for a second?
MORGAN: Yeah.

Mind keeping an eye on Hannah?
The vultures are circling.

Oh, boy.

- Lester, Jeff.
- What now?

Can I see you both in my office, please?

You have an office?

What happened
to all the brooms and bleach?

I just, uh, move them in and out
every morning.

- Gentlemen, have a seat, please.
JEFF: Okay.

Okay.

It is my duty to tell you
there will be no dating in the workplace.

- Eh? You dated Anna.
- It's my constitutional right to fornicate.

Okay.

Whew. Here's the thing.

I like her, okay?

I'm just asking you guys to,
you know, lay off.

Fine, but I get to sleep over
with you and Chuck twice a week.

Okay. You?

Next hire, I want you to find me a wife.

A woman of color.

Preferably Padma Lakshmi.

Done.

One condition.
You men are excellent stalkers.

Find out everything there is to know
about Hannah, okay?

Likes, dislikes. Everything.

Consider her stalked.

Okay. Credit card charges,
mostly video games, comic books.

Phone records, only one female caller
in the last year, his sister.

I feel so sorry for this guy.
He seems so lonely.

Oh, whoops. That's your old file,
Bartowski. Sorry about that.

Ah, here we go. Oddly similar.

"Battlestar Galactica, Dune,
nacho sampler."

Sounds like your dream date.

The problem was that
you came on too strong.

Never seem like you're making advances.

You want the other person
to feel like they're in control. Here.

Thank you.

So, uh, that first day you came
into the Buy More, when we first met...

...what did they tell you?

You hadn't had a date in a year.
They don't waste the blonds on anyone.

Uh, it hadn't been a year, okay? Thanks.

They thought you and I could connect.

I remember you left me your card
so I could call you so we could go out.

I felt like I was having
the luckiest day of my life.

- God, I was pathetic.
- No, you were sweet and innocent.

I liked you.

It made it much harder.

- Why?
- Hey, sap's on his way to the bar.

Let's go.

[DANCE MUSIC
PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS]

Y: The Last Man.

Incredible book.

Greatest literary achievement
of our generation.

Hey, you're that guy from the store today.

Oh, yeah.

[OVER RADIO]
We had a bet going to see if we could...

...get a customer to steal something.

- I won.
- I knew it.

Something had to be going on
for that chick to wanna wait on me.

You don't need a 160 IQ
to figure that out.

Boost his ego, Chuck.

She, uh, probably liked you.

No way.

The usual.

We're all out
of the nacho sampler tonight, Manoosh.

Last one is right there.

CASEY:
We stole all the guac from the kitchen.

SARAH: Remember, the nacho sampler
is his favorite dish.

Go ahead. Help yourself.

Thanks, um....

Chuck.

Can I buy you a beer, Chuck?

Here we go.
What did you find out about Hannah?

Um, she is out of your league.

She's a sophisticated,
classy kind of broad.

Yeah, she eats sushi with chopsticks.

And without the rice.

- Wow.
- I copied her iTunes and iPhone play lists.

- She listens to classical music.
- Oh, boy.

Tchaikovsky's "Swan Lake" is her most
played. And she likes French cinema.

And foreign films.

Sorry, my friend.

Even with us spying on her,
you do not stand a chance.

SARAH:
Good job, Chuck. Keep it personal.

Anyway, so my dad was a physicist, right?
But he cracked.

So when I saw myself going down
that same road, I quit...

...dropped out of Stanford.

That's exactly what happened to me,
except I dropped out of MIT.

I could tell a fellow underachieving,
underappreciated man of intellect.

CASEY:
Great, two geeks in a pod.

Are you suggesting that Buy More is
not an impressive enough career choice?

It's okay. All the doubters
will be sorry soon enough.

They don't understand guys like us.

- I got something big planned.
CASEY: This is it. Move in.

Gently, Chuck. Don't push him.

Uh, how... ? How so? What are you, uh...?
What are you working on?

[CELL PHONE RINGS]

Work. Won't leave me alone.

Hello?

Guys, he's got a Ring phone.

CASEY:
I'll run a trace.

MANOOSH:
Whoa, slow down, chief.

Yes, I have the prototype.

Still have some kinks to work out.

Look, I gotta go. I'm with a friend.

Sorry about that.
These guys, they're a little high-strung.

Act all tough. Think they're intimidating
with their secret phones.

Ooh, scary.

[CHUCKLES]

Signal bounced back three miles.
Ring's tracking him.

We got five minutes before they get here.

Time to send in a pro. You're up.

CHUCK:
So you were talking about your job?

I'm doing something weapons-related.

But that's really all I can say.

I wanna tell you. Believe me, I do.

What the hell is she doing in here?
I got this.

You weren't moving fast enough.
Had to send a closer.

The Ring will be here any minute.

That hot chick just smiled at me.

Oh, my God, what do I do?

Just play it cool. Let her come to you.

- Is this what cool people do?
- Yeah.

Just, you know, kind of put out the vibe.

CASEY:
Make a move, Walker. We're wasting time.

Excuse me. Is this seat taken?

Help him out, Chuck.

- Uh....
- No, it's not. It's not taken.

He was actually saving it for you,
I believe.

- [MOUTHS] What is happening?
- Thank you.

- Sarah.
- Manoosh.

The Ring's here. Get him out back, now.

Manoosh, come here.

- Where?
- Closer.

You got something on your lip.
Let me take it off.

Get him. I'll get the briefcase.

CASEY: They're heading in.
- I want him alive.

Looks like our friend had one too many.

[MOUTHS] Bye.

Wow.

This is the best night of my life.

CASEY: Nice job, Walker.
Another geek bites the dust.

[SNORING]

Wake up, baby.

Hi.

- Where am I?
- My bedroom.

What? You don't remember?

Guess you had one too many drinks,
lover boy.

Did we... ? You know?

Yes, and it was amazing.

Oh, it was so intense,
we both just passed out.

I've never even spoken to a woman
as beautiful as you before.

Why'd you choose me?

Because there is something
just so mysterious about you and sexy.

And you were telling me
about your top-secret work.

And secrets turn me on.

It's a weapon. New technology
that will change everything.

- Tell me more.
- Okay.

But, first, I don't really remember
much from last night.

Can we do it again so I'll never forget?

[SNORING]

Guys, this isn't working.

Is he gonna be okay?
That's, like, the fifth tranq dart.

How many can a normal person handle?

As many as it takes him
to say what he's building.

They're twilight tranqs.
They don't do permanent damage.

They just make you forget
what happened in the last five minutes.

Well, he's my asset.
I should have handled this.

He's ready for round six.

Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Take it easy, Tranqenstein.

[LINE RINGING]

[CELL PHONE RINGING]

- Hello.
- Chuck, it's Manoosh.

Hey, Manizzle.

How you doing? How was last night?

I can't really remember, but the fact
that I'm half-naked right now...

...I gotta say,
you are the best wingman in the world.

Well, thanks. What can I say?
I do have my skill sets.

Um, you didn't happen to come across
a briefcase at the Mexican restaurant?

My entire life's work's in there.

- I'm kind of freaking out.
- No.

Your wingman saw
that you left said briefcase...

...and picked it up for you.

Oh, thank you, Chuck.
Look, I've got a flight to catch.

Meet me at the Buy More, half an hour?

Half hour? Not a problem.

Great. Thanks.

MANOOSH:
Sarah, you in there?

[GUN COCKS]

Oh.

No, Langley said don't open it.
They're sending their own HAZMAT team.

We don't have time to wait.
Get your hand off of there.

Hmm.

Comic book, glasses, shirt.

Bingo.

Guys, I'm not flashing.
Whatever it is, it's not in the Intersect.

SARAH:
Oh.

Easy, Bartowski.
We don't know what this is.

You think it could be a bomb?

I don't know,
but we're not gonna find out the hard way.

Okay, just meet Manoosh
at the Buy More.

And give him back the briefcase.
And act like nothing happened.

Wait... Don't we need to replace it
before we do that?

Imagine what the Ring is gonna do
if they find out he doesn't have it.

Just don't think about it, Chuck.

It makes being a spy a lot easier.

DEVON:
Dude.

- Dude, I am freaking out.
- Come here. Come here.

Ellie found a baggage ticket
from your Paris mission.

I didn't know what to say.
I told her you were going on a work trip.

I can't do this anymore.
I have to tell her the truth.

Look, you need to calm down, okay?

You cannot tell her anything.

I don't think you realize
the gravity of the situation.

But you know my secret.

- There are strings attached to that.
- What strings?

Your lives are never gonna be the same.
They'll stick you into witness protection.

I don't think that you want that.

I understand that the lying
is very difficult right now...

...but, trust me, it gets easier.

Oh, jeez. Get down, get down.

[CLEARS THROAT]

- Hey, hey, Ellie.
- Hi. Um....

What's going on?

Chuck, look, I know that we're older...

...and we don't
have to tell each other everything...

...but I found out about Paris.

And I just... I don't know.

When did we start keeping secrets
from each other?

Well, the thing is, I was gonna tell you.
Um, it was a business trip.

This very eccentric customer...

...insisted that I do a home-theater install
in his flat in Paris.

So why keep that from me?

Well, because I did such a good job...

...that he said I could use his flat
for free for a week.

And I figured, maybe you and Devon...

...could use a proper honeymoon.
And I wanted it to be a surprise.

- Are you serious?
- Yeah.

Chuck, that is the sweetest thing.

Oh, I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I thought...

...you were keeping secrets.

CASEY:
Told you he's ready.

Kid's a good liar.
You taught him well, Walker.

CHUCK:
Please, Ellie.

Brother, sister.
There are no secrets between us.

Bye.

[SIGHS]

That was so cold-blooded.
How could you just lie to her like that?

Ellie and I aren't kids anymore, all right?

There are some things
she's better off not knowing.

Manizzle.

Thanks, Chuck. You are a lifesaver.

Hey, what are friends for, right?

- We are friends, aren't we?
- Yeah.

When I get back, I'm going to be rich.

I'll start a company of my own.
And then we can work together.

Don't worry, I won't forget you.

[CELL PHONE RINGS]

Hello? No, I told you
I'm still working the kinks out.

Yeah. Calm down.
You'll give yourself a heart attack.

- Who was that?
- The putzes who hired me.

They're paying me peanuts
compared to the open market.

But I'm no fool.

Anyway, thanks, buddy.

Yeah. Wait, wait, wait. Um, uh....

Before you go,
let me get you some yogurt.

Because, you know,
you can't travel on an empty stomach.

- Stay here. I'll be right back.
- Okay, all right.

Not picking up any sign of ordnance.
Definitely not a bomb.

Guys. Guys, we need
to help Manoosh, okay?

The Ring is gonna track him.
They're gonna hurt him, or worse.

Cry me a river. He's building a weapon.

He's no innocent.

He served his purpose.

That's what an asset is,
conduit to information, nothing more.

[GUNS COCK]

No more ducking us, Manoosh.
Take us to your lab.

We want our weapon.

Wait, wait, wait. Ah...

Found something.

Aah!

- What is that?
CHUCK: Anthrax?

Agent Orange?

Okay, guys. Fine.

Just, uh, let me put my shades on
real quick.

It's really bright out.

UV protection.
Very important these days.

Shaving cream. It was a decoy.

SARAH:
Then where's the weapon?

CHUCK:
They found Manoosh.

He doesn't know who he's dealing with.
They're gonna kill him.

[ELECTRICITY CRACKLING]

[GRUNTING]

[BONES CRACK]

That's not the weapon.

Manoosh is the weapon.

He built a new Intersect?

How did Manoosh build an Intersect?

I thought my dad was the only one
who knew how to do that.

After 2.0 Intersect was destroyed...

...the Ring lifted certain burnt
components from a CIA warehouse.

Manoosh reverse-engineered it.

We need to find Manoosh.

He mentioned getting rich,
selling to the highest bidder.

I got something.

Manoosh just used his credit card
to book a flight to Dubai.

Why? What's in Dubai?

Weap-Con. The greatest weapons
convention in the world.

I go every year.
I find it incredibly relaxing.

[SIGHS]

Looks like I'll get to write this year's
off as a business trip.

[KNOCKING ON DOOR]

[TCHAIKOVSKY'S "SWAN LAKE"
PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS]

Come in.

Hey, Morgan.

Jeff said you wanted to see me.

I did, yeah. Nothing urgent.

I just wanted to see
how the Buy More was treating you.

"Swan Lake." That's my favorite.

Mine too.

Sans Respirer is a classic.

I must've seen it like 10 times.

Twelve. Yeah, I can't get enough
of French New Wave.

- Huh.
- Oh, have a seat. Have a seat.

Yeah, it's amazing
how much we have in common.

Right? Yeah, I just...

I love international cinema.

But it's not just the cinema,
it's the people, and the culture, right?

Sadly, my colleagues think
that Burbank is the center of the world.

Yeah, Chuck had never been to Paris
until last week on that install.

Chuck went to Paris?

Oh, uh, right. I forgot.

Chuck told me to keep it quiet.
Everything's a little secret around here.

But, of course, you know,
as you are assistant manager....

Right, I am. Of course.

Sure. I know everything about Chuck.

Well, do you mind telling me
what goes on over at that yogurt store?

Because, um.... Uh, he is...

Okay.... Constantly running over there.

The yogurt store?
Yes, uh, his ex works there.

He's having trouble letting go, so....

Um, Morgan. Hey, what was it
that you wanted to talk to me about?

Nothing.

Paris?

Where else has he gone?

WOMAN [OVER PA]:
Welcome to Weap-Con.

[WOMAN SPEAKING IN
FOREIGN LANGUAGES OVER PA]

Ammo can be found
in the west pavilion.

Explosives and short-range missiles
are in the mezzanine.

The peacemaker demonstration
has been postponed.

Hello.

MAN:
Laser pen. Poison pen.

Casey, no shopping.

We're here to find Manoosh. Come on.

MAN: What kind of pen you want?
CASEY: The laser pen.

Behold this beauty.
The EM-50 Mobile Interrogation Unit.

The most exclusive one of its kind...

...the EM-50 is nearly impossible
to escape from.

You don't have time, but you need
to extract vital information?

This is your unit.

WOMAN [OVER PA]:
Presentation on stage four...

...is about to begin.

Please, have a seat. Get situated.

CASEY:
Huh?

Ladies, gentlemen, warlords, sheiks
and Huns.

I see some Huns back there, don't I?

Welcome to the future
of warfare and weapons.

I have before me...

...the most powerful weapon
known to mankind.

That weapon, you ask, is me.

[AUDIENCE LAUGHING]

At this time yesterday,
I was a pathetic weakling.

These bikini babes
wouldn't even spit on me.

I have no muscle, terrible allergies
and am completely uncoordinated.

But behold me now.

[ELECTRICITY CRACKLING]

Moments ago
I was a 100-pound weakling.

Now, a deadly kung fu expert.

[AUDIENCE LAUGHING]

Laugh if you will.
Do I have any volunteers?

Maybe one of you thinks
they can kick my ass.

[SPEAKING IN FRENCH]

Step back, ladies.

[GRUNTING]

Ooh.

Backstage.

MANOOSH:
Thank you. Thank you.

Imagine an entire army of men like me.
No training involved.

Just throw these glasses on any civilian
and, voil?, an army of instant warriors.

So call your banks, your kings,
your dignitaries or what have you.

We'll start bidding in five minutes.

And we're gonna kick this bad boy off
at 50 million.

Thank you.

[AUDIENCE CLAMORING]

MANOOSH:
Nachos, just as I requested.

He's my asset. I'll handle this.

Don't get soft on him, Bartowski.

The only way any of us are safe
is if he's under lock and key.

Well, fine. I can control him.

Then do it.

Chuck? What are you doing here?

I came to protect you, okay?

To stop you from making
a horrible mistake.

I know about the glasses.

I know about the new Intersect
that you're building.

Who are you?

I'm an agent with the CIA.

So you were tracking me?

This friendship is fake?

Sarah? That wasn't real either?

I'm sorry, okay? I really am sorry.

I'm not trying to hurt
your feelings here. I just...

I can't let you do this.

These are bad people you're selling to.

Worse than a guy
who pretends to be my only friend...

...or a woman who pretends
to have intercourse with me?

[MOUTHS] Intercourse?

Truth is, I don't need friends, Chuck.

Not when I've got these.

Manoosh.

[GUNS COCK]

[RING AGENTS SHOUT
IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE]

JULIUS:
Hello, Manoosh.

[GUN COCKS]

We've been looking for you.
I believe you have something of ours.

CHUCK:
Aah!

[HANDCUFFS CLICK]

Aah, aah, aah.

Wow, so now, not only does the Ring
have both Manoosh...

...but also the new Intersect.

That is just super.

Good thing I bought that laser pen.

It burns through anything.

I thought Sarah specifically said
no shopping.

Just scooch over here,
grab it with your mouth, come on.

Get here and pull it out
of my inside pocket. Let's go.

Come on. Here we go.

Shh. Quiet.

- You'll break it. On the left.
- Okay.

Easy. Okay, okay, okay.

- Come on.
- Shh.

- What if I...?
- Just get in there.

Yeah, that's it. That's it. Ow.

- Okay. Ow, ow. Easy.
- I gotta get to the pen.

- Don't bite me.
- I'm not biting you.

- You got it? Just be careful of the button.
- Uh-huh.

- It activates the laser.
- Mm-hm.

Aah! Whoa!

You aim carefully now, Bartowski.

Don't you make me a eunuch.

Otherwise, I'll teach you the meaning
of eye for an eye.

Get to work.

Unh! I got it. Ha-ha-ha.

- Shh.
CASEY: Give me that.

[HANDCUFFS SNAP]

CASEY: Unh!
- All right, here we go.

Here, me. Ladies first.

WOMAN [OVER PA]:
... Viewing of AKA updated....

Look, guys, I'll cut you a deal, huh?
Half off.

No, you'll give it to us.

- We don't need you anymore.
- Yeah?

Looks like you need me now.

So let's talk
about a reasonable fee, okay?

SARAH:
Drop your guns.

[GUNS COCK]

GUIDE: Hey, folks, sounds like another
demonstration taking place back here.

As you can see,
many of our products are ideally suited...

...for resolving
these types of hostage negotiations.

CUSTOMER:
Impressive simulation.

Yeah, I'd rather kill him too
than let you have him.

- So I guess we're on the same page.
- Looks like Manoosh dies, then.

CHUCK:
Manoosh is not going to die.

In my hand, I hold a Japanese laser pen.

Pinpoint accuracy.

Could shoot the wings off a fly,
if one was so sadistically inclined...

...which I am.

Nobody drop their guns.

He won't do it.
I can see it in his eyes. He won't kill me.

Okay, fine. I probably won't kill you.

But I will remove the greater part
of your earlobe.

What...?

Casey, what is the deal...?

I asked for the same pen.
She gave me the wrong pen.

Just like Bartowski.
Bring a knife to a gunfight.

Now, where were we?

Oh, I know. We were going to kill you.

[GUNSHOT]

[SARAH GRUNTS]

[BONES CRACKING]

CASEY:
He's getting away.

[GRUNTS]

[GUN COCKS]

Secure Manoosh. He cannot walk
out of here knowing what he knows.

Chuck. That was awesome.

Incredible, just incredible.
Well, thanks for rescuing me.

I mean, if it weren't for you...

...I'd probably be
in some deep dark cell somewhere.

Uh.... Speaking of which,
Manoosh, I cannot let you go.

Chuck, please.

I won't tell anybody. I promise.

No one will ever know
about the Intersect, me, the sunglasses.

I'll disappear. I swear.

Thanks, Chuck.

I owe you my life.

GUIDE:
Here at the tranq-gun booth...

...we feature
the latest in non-lethal suppression.

That's 50 cc's of pure-grade ether.

Your enemies will get plenty of rest
before you interrogate them.

I guess Bartowski
doesn't have the stones.

[GRUNTS]

[CROWD MURMURING]

Another fabulous demonstration.

I stand corrected.

He has to go underground.

If the Ring finds him,
he can build them another Intersect.

It's the only way.

- Do you want me to handle it?
- Yeah.

Yeah, I would, but I have to do it.

Hey.

Hey, I've been scared to death.

So when are you guys gonna release me?

I just wanna go home.

Forget this ever happened.

You can't go home, Manoosh.

We are sending you
to a secured isolation facility.

- Somewhere that you will be safe.
- But I didn't do anything wrong.

I tried to make a few bucks,
but that's not illegal.

Chuck, you have to help me.

I thought you were my friend.

I'm not.

I'm a spy.

Chuck.

Chuck.

Please, Chuck.

CASEY: Hmm. Only one way to deal
with burning an asset.

Johnnie Walker.

Black.

Hey, where you been?
Another trip to Paris?

- Uh, Dubai, actually.
- Funny.

Or maybe
you were at that yogurt store again?

I know your ex works there.

Uh, hey, what about that tutorial?

Rule number one:
Never work on an empty stomach.

On break. Going to Kooky Sushi.

[SIGHS]

- Hey, there he is.
- Hey.

- Can we talk?
- Uh, yeah, I'm kind of beat, Morgan.

Oh, yeah, I can imagine. All that travel.

What... ? Uh, what traveling?

Just driving around town
on all those installs.

- Right. Yeah.
- That's gotta be exhausting.

Hey. Anything you want
to talk to me about?

No. Is there anything
you wanna ask me?

No.

- Okay, great. Good talk.
- Absolutely. One of our best.

[CHUCKLES]

LESTER:
Yo.

How'd it go last night, stallion?

You take her to Pound Town?

Can I get an address on that?

Actually, I need
a little more research done here, fellas.

I told you, we still need to study
her sleeping patterns.

Oh, no, not research on Hannah.

Research on Chuck.

Finally.

Honey, the tickets that Chuck got us
to Paris are here.

First class.

I don't think we should go.

What? They're free tickets.

No, they're not.

Nothing is free.

- Those have strings attached.
- What strings? They're from Chuck.

- What are you talking about?
- He...

You...

You have to obey me.
Yeah, I think that was in our vows.

I am the husband,
and I forbid us to go to Paris.

That's it.

- Oh, hey, Morgan.
- Hey.

You forbid us?
Are you kidding me, Devon?

Ellie, is everything okay?

No, I think there's something weird
going on with Chuck and Devon.

It's like they're... I don't know.
They're keeping this secret from me.

Um, okay.

Are you suggesting Chuck is caught
in a big giant web of conspiracy...

...and deception?

[SIGHS]

I know. I know, it sounds ridiculous.

Because I couldn't agree more.
I've been thinking about this for months.

Finally, someone
with some common sense.

We have to figure out what's going on.

Don't worry about it.
I got my best men on it.

CASEY:
Our boy's growing up, huh?

When we first met him...

...you ever think
he'd be able to burn a asset?

No.

Yeah, he's turning into a spy.

That's a good thing.

Is it?

So you think this kid's got the Intersect?

AGENT: Right, Agent Walker.
He's connected to Bryce Larkin.

- Weaknesses?
- Bright, but an underachiever.

Lonely. Had his heart broken recently.

I'm downloading his picture now.

Piece of cake.

Who is that? Vicki Vale.

[SINGING]
Vicki Vale, Vick, Vicki Vale

[ENGLISH - US - SDH]