Chip 'n' Dale Rescue Rangers (1988–1990): Season 2, Episode 15 - Throw Mummy from the Train - full transcript

♪♪

♪ SOMETIMES
SOME CRIMES ♪

♪ GO SLIPPIN'
THROUGH THE CRACKS ♪

♪ BUT THESE TWO GUMSHOES ♪

♪ ARE PICKIN' UP
THE SLACK ♪

♪ THERE'S NO CASE
TOO BIG ♪

♪ NO CASE TOO SMALL ♪

♪ WHEN YOU NEED HELP,
JUST CALL ♪

♪ CH-CH-CH-CHIP
'N' DALE ♪

♪ RESCUE RANGERS ♪

♪ CH-CH-CH-CHIP
'N' DALE ♪



♪ WHEN THERE'S DANGER ♪

♪ NO, NO,
IT NEVER FAILS ♪

♪ ONCE THEY'RE INVOLVED ♪

♪ SOMEHOW WHATEVER'S WRONG
GETS SOLVED ♪

♪ CH-CH-CH-CHIP
'N' DALE ♪

♪ RESCUE RANGERS ♪

♪ CH-CH-CH-CHIP
'N' DALE ♪

♪ WHEN THERE'S DANGER ♪

♪ NO, NO,
IT NEVER FAILS ♪

♪ THEY'LL TAKE THE CLUES ♪

♪ AND FIND THE WHERES
AND WHYS AND WHOS ♪

♪ CH-CH-CH-CHIP
'N' DALE ♪

♪ RESCUE RANGERS ♪

♪ CH-CH-CH-CHIP
'N' DALE ♪



♪ WHEN THERE'S DANGER ♪

♪ CH-CH-CH-CHIP
'N' DALE ♪

[GASP]

WE'VE DONE IT!

WE'VE FOUND THE TOMB
OF KING NOTUNCOMMON.

TREASURE?

OH, BOY.

HEY! THIS IS A RING,
JUST MY KIND OF SOUVENIR--

EASY TO CARRY
AND REAL VALUABLE.

WEXLER,
PUT THAT BACK
RIGHT NOW!

OW!

EVERY ITEM HERE
HAS TO BE LOOKED AT,

LABELED, LOGGED, AND LISTED
BEFORE IT CAN BE MOVED.

YE GADS!

WHAT?

THIS RING IS THE KEY

TO THE SPHINX
OF INKADINKADOO.

IT IS?

HMM... ACCORDING
TO MY TRANSLATION,

IF YOU PLACE
THIS RING

ON-- NO, IN THE FOREHEAD
OF THE REAL SPHINX,

YOU RELEASE
THE KING'S DIAMONDS.

DIAMONDS?

I'LL GO BUY
THE TRAIN TICKETS.

AAH!

NOT YET.

WE'LL GO
TO INKADINKADOO

JUST AS SOON AS WE
FINISH UP CATALOGUING
EVERYTHING HERE.

THAT OUGHT TO TAKE
10 OR 12 YEARS,

IF YOU WRITE FAST.

YEARS?

CROCKERY'S CRACKED!

I'M NOT WAITING YEARS
TO GET THE SPHINX'S DIAMONDS.

ONCE I GET MY HANDS
ON THOSE JEWELS,

I'LL NEVER LOOK AT,
LABEL, LOG,

OR LIST ANYTHING
EVER AGAIN.

OH, EXCUSE ME.

AAH!

GRRR!

PLEASE DON'T HURT ME.

GRRR!

[SOBBING]

HEY, IS THAT AS FAST
AS YOU CAN MOVE?

GRRR!

HA! YOU RAG PILE,

YOU COULDN'T
CATCH A COLD.

NEXT STOP,
SPHINXVILLE.

BOO HOO HOO!

IN JUST 10 MINUTES, I'LL BE
ON THE TRAIN FOR INKADINKADOO

AND HOT AND COLD
RUNNING DIAMONDS!

BYE, SANDY!

GLAD WE COULD HELP
SWAT YOUR INSECT PROBLEM.

TOO RIGHT!

AND IF THOSE BEDOUIN
BEETLE BUGS EVER ATTACK
YOUR CARAVAN AGAIN,

JUST CALL ON
THE RESCUE RANGERS.

BAG COMING DOWN.

HEY,
WATCH IT, MONTEREY!

THIS IS
VALUABLE STUFF.

WHO YOU KIDDIN'?
IT'S JUNK.

REALLY, DALE,
YOU HAVE MORE SOUVENIRS
THAN WE HAVE SPACE.

DALE?

NOT ANOTHER
SOUVENIR!

DALE!

WHOA!

WHOA!

OOH!

HEY! THIS WOULD MAKE
A SWELL NUT JAR.

LOOKS LIKE
ME LITTLE PALLY'S
GONE TO POT.

SEE WHAT
YOUR COLLECTING'S
GOT YOU INTO, DALE?

OH, LOOK OUT!

OH, NO! DR. CROCKERY!

I HAVE TO
HIDE THE RING.

WEXLER, WHAT DO YOU
THINK YOU'RE DOING?

I... I... I...

LUNCH BREAK WAS OVER
20 MINUTES AGO.

LUNCH BREAK?
OH, LUNCH BREAK!

WELL, SIR...
I WAS THINKING

THAT WE NEEDED MORE, EH--
WATER JARS.

WATER JARS?

CAPITAL IDEA, MAN.

WE COULD PROBABLY
FIND REAL USE FOR THAT
IN THE DESERT.

THIS ONE
LOOKS GOOD, SIR.

OOPS. SORRY.

NEVER CAN BE TOO CAREFUL
IN A DESERT, SIR.

BETTER GET EXTRA.

OOPS, AGAIN.

WEXLER!

BUT THE RING
SHOULD BE--
SORRY, SIR.

[CRASH]

WEXLER!

BOY,
THESE ARE SLIPPERY.

LOOK AT
WHAT I GOT.

YOU AND YOUR
GOOFY SOUVENIRS.

THIS ISN'T GOOFY.
THIS IS VALUABLE.

ENOUGH TO GET US
ALL INTO TROUBLE?

WHAT TROUBLE?

SAVING-YOUR-NECK TROUBLE.

I'VE HEARD OF
RING AROUND THE ROSEY,

BUT NOT AROUND
THE DALE.

OH, GREAT!
NOW YOU'RE STUCK

AND WE GOT
A TRAIN TO CATCH.

I'VE GOT AN IDEA.

FOLLOW ME!

I DON'T KNOW
ABOUT THIS, GADGET.

OH, IT'S REALLY
A SIMPLE MECHANISM.

THE TORQUE RATIO
SHOULD CREATE
THE MOMENTUM

NECESSARY
TO REMOVE THE RING.

WHENEVER SHE SAYS "SHOULD",
CROSS YOUR FINGERS.

GEE, UHHH...
I DON'T KNOW.

I WAS GETTIN'
SORTA ATTACHED TO IT.

OKAY, GUYS!
LET IT GO!

WHOA-HO!

CUT THE ROPE!
CUT THE ROPE!

HMM. THE NEXT TIME
WE'LL REVERSE THE ANGLE...

OR NOT.

GOLLY!
WHAT'S THAT?

GRRR!

CRIKEY! ONE
OF THE WALKING
UNWRAPPED!

A MUMMY!
WHAT'S HE AFTER?

I DON'T LIKE THE WAY
HE'S LOOKIN' AT ME.

HE'S COMING
THIS WAY! RUN!

HEY! WHAT ABOUT ME?

LET ME GO!
LET ME GO!

HEY! PUT HIM DOWN!

DROP HIM, YA MOLDY OLDIE,
OR I'LL KNOCK YOU BACK
TO ZOMBIE LAND.

OUCH!

OH, PLEASE
DON'T RUN.

I NEED THE RING.

GOLLY! HE SOUNDS LIKE
HE JUST WANTED THE RING.

YEAH! HE DIDN'T
WANT TO HURT US.

I THINK IT WAS MONTY
WHO HURT HIM.

HURT HIM?
HE'S DEAD, ISN'T HE?

I MEAN, IT'S ONE
OF THEIR RULES, RIGHT?

EXCUSE US,
MR. MUMMY.

OH!
CALL ME HIRAM.

ARE YOU IN
SOME KIND OF TROUBLE?

WE'RE THE RESCUE RANGERS.

I JUST NEED
THAT RING BACK,

OR I WON'T
BE ABLE TO REST.

REST?

BACK AT THE TOMB.

YOU SEE,
I'M THE GUARDIAN
OF THE RING,

SORT OF
A NIGHT WATCHMAN

FOR
KING NOTUNCOMMON'S TOMB.

SO, THIS RING
BELONGS BACK
AT THE TOMB,

NOT IN A
SOUVENIR COLLECTION.

MY JOB
DEPENDS ON IT,

NOT THAT IT'S MUCH,
BUT I GET FREE
ROOM AND BOARD.

OF COURSE, THEY HAD TO
BURY ME ALIVE.

I'M SURE I COULD GET
THE RING OFF DALE

IF I HAD A LITTLE TIME.

WELL, AT LEAST
WE CAN GET HIM
BACK TO THE TOMB.

DO YOU REALLY THINK
THIS WILL LOOSEN
THE RING, GADGET?

YEAH, LOVE.
ME OX FAT AND HOT COALS

DIDN'T SEEM TO WORK.

BUT YOU WEREN'T
BEING SCIENTIFIC.

WHEN THE SPEAR
HITS THE GONG,

THE VIBRATION
SHOULD POP THAT RING
RIGHT OFF.

SHE SAID
"SHOULD" AGAIN, MATES.

WATCH OUT.

"CATALOGUE THIS.

WASH THE ARTIFACTS.
GET THE CAMERA READY."

PHOOEY!

GO AHEAD, HIRAM!

[GULP] BE GENTLE, HIRAM.

AND I WAS
SO CLOSE TO-- AHH!

THE RING!

HE'S THE ONE
WHO STOLE THE RING
IN THE FIRST PLACE!

GET HIM!

I'M NOT GONNA
LOSE THIS AGAIN.

EAT DARK,
RAG FACE.

HA HA HA HA!

I DON'T KNOW HOW
IT GOT ONTO A CHIPMUNK,

BUT I SURE KNOW
AN EASY WAY OF GETTING IT OFF.

[GULP]

WEXLER!

YES, PROFESSOR?

JUST WHAT
ARE YOU DOING WITH THIS?

AHH, EH--
FIXING A SNACK.

THAT'S NO WAY
TO TREAT

A PRICELESS
CEREMONIAL DAGGER.

ALL THESE ARTIFACTS
MUST BE WASHED

AND READY
TO PHOTOGRAPH TOMORROW.

YOU CAN EAT LATER.

PEEKABOO.

I SEE YOU.

COME ON!
WE GOTTA GET DALE.

WHAT?

WHOA-HO!

HUH? WHERE'D
THAT RING GO?

THE RING!

[KISS] THE KEY TO
THE PHARAOH'S DIAMOND!

[KISS KISS KISS]

[LAUGHS]
IF I HURRY,

I CAN STILL MAKE
THE MIDNIGHT TRAIN
TO INKADINKADOO.

WHERE'S
HE GOING?

HE SAID THE RING
WAS THE KEY

TO THE
PHARAOH'S DIAMONDS.

OH, MY!

HE'S GOT
HIS TRANSLATION WRONG.

THE RING'S NOT THE KEY
TO THE PHARAOH'S DIAMONDS.

IT'S THE KEY
TO A DEMON.

THE PHAROAH'S DEMON!

DEMON, DIAMOND...
WHAT'S THE BIG DEAL?

THE SPHINX IS
THE PHARAOH'S
WATCHDOG.

IF HE AWAKENS IT
WITH NO PHARAOH
TO CONTROL IT,

WE'LL ALL BE DOOMED.

LOOKAT! THERE'S
THE TRAIN TRACKS.

GOLLY! MONTEREY JACK'S
SHORT CUT REALLY WORKED.

TOO RIGHT.

THERE'S THE TRAIN.
ALL RIGHT, SANDY,
LET'S DO IT!

RESCUE RANGERS, AWAY!

OH, DEAR!

I DON'T KNOW.

STEADY, HIRAM.

STEADY... NOW!

SEE YOU
AT THE SPHINX, SANDY.

[NHAAA]

LET'S GET IN
AND GET THAT RING!

NOT SO FAST, DALE.

WE CAN'T JUST WALK
IN THERE WITH A MUMMY.

WE GOTTA
DISGUISE HIM.

LET'S CHECK
THIS ONE.

[CLUCK CLUCK]

TRY THE NEXT ONE.

IT'S WEXLER!

HE'S IN THERE!

[SNORE]

HA HA HA!

PLEASE, JOIN ME
FOR SUPPERTIME.

UM... OHH...
UH, WELL--

GET HIM OUT.
WE'LL GET THE RING.

TOO RIGHT!
BESIDES, THE BLOKE
HASN'T HAD A BITE TO EAT

FOR OVER 2,000 YEARS.

OKAY, NOW
IT'S UP TO US.

[SNORE]

[COUGH COUGH]

[HUMMING A LULLABY]

HMMM.

[KNOCK ON DOOR]

WHAT?

HUH?

COME WITH ME
TO THE CASBAH.

I AM BEGGING OF YOU!

WHEN I TOLD HIM I WAS A MUMMY.
HE SAID HE LOVED CHILDREN!

THE MUMMY!

GIVE ME THE RING!

UH!

ZIPPER, PULL
THE EMERGENCY CORD!

[BRAKES SCREECH]

THE RING!
MY JOB IS SAVED!

A GUY LIKE ME

DOESN'T HAVE
MANY EMPLOYMENT OPPORTUNITIES.

NOT SO FAST,
BANDAGE BRAIN!

SO LONG, SUCKERS!

I'M OFF
TO CLAIM MY DIAMONDS!

IT'S THE DEMON

THAT'S GOING
TO BE CLAIMING HIM!

LEGENDS TELL US THAT

THE GREAT PHARAOH NOTUNCOMMON
USED THE SPHINX

TO GUARD HIS TREASURE.

NOW, IF YOU'LL STEP OVER HERE,

WE HAVE A MARVELOUS
PHOTO OPPORTUNITY FOR YOU ALL.

I HAVE TO GET THE RING
UP TO ITS FOREHEAD.

I'LL NEED SOME ROPE.

PSST, DALE,
CAN YOU SEE WEXLER?

NAH, BUT DON'T WORRY.

I'LL KEEP LOOKING.

HEY!

WHAT DOIN'
THAT FOR?

YOU AND
YOUR SOUVENIRS!

YOU WERE
SUPPOSED TO BE
ON THE LOOKOUT!

I WAS!

WAS NOT!

WAS TOO!

NOT!

TOO!

NOT!

TOO!

[CHATTERING]

ENOUGH OF THAT,
ME LITTLE PALLIES.

WE'VE GOT OURSELVES
A CROOK TO CATCH.

RIGHT!
AND WE'D BETTER HURRY!

OOH!

WHOA-HO!

LET'S GO!

OOH HOO HOO!
STOP THAT!

I'M TICKLISH!

OOH! AH!

KEEP THE RING
AWAY FROM ITS...

UH-OH!
UH-OH!

FOREHEAD.

RRAWR!

AAH!
AAH!

[THUD]

AAH!
WHOA!

RRAWR!

WHO DARES SUMMON
THE PHARAOH'S DEMON?

D-D-D-DEMON? IT WAS
SUPPOSED TO BE D-D-D-DIAMONDS!

RRAWR!

RARWR!

UGH!

[WHISTLE]

OVER HERE, MATE!

I SUMMONED YOU,

THE PHARAOH
OF INKADINKADOO!

WHOA-HO!

DIAMONDS!

AWFULLY SMALL FOR A PHARAOH,
AREN'T YOU?

Y-YEAH. I'VE BEEN SICK.

I'M RICH!
I'M RICH! I'M RICH!

HEY, WHAT'S THIS RUBY
DOING IN HERE?

[STOMP STOMP STOMP]

[RARWR]

HELP!

WE'LL RAM HIM!
THAT'LL STOP HIM.

STEP ON IT, HIRAM!

STEP ON WHAT?

PUT YOUR FOOT
TO THE PEDAL!

THE OTHER PEDAL!

AAH!
AAH!

GRR!

AAH!

ARE YOU SURE

THIS'LL
WORK, GADGET?

SURE! NOT REALLY,
BUT IT SHOULD.

WHY DO I ASK?

CAN'T YOU
GO FASTER?

CAN'T YOU
GO FORWARD?

UGH! UH!

ARGH!

RRAWR!

RRAWR!

THAT WON'T
HOLD HIM LONG.

WE HAVE TO
GET THE RING BACK!

QUICK, HIRAM!
CAN YOU GIVE US A HAND?

ALL ABOARD!

RESCUE RANGERS, AWAY!

KEEP HIM BUSY
WHILE I GET THE RING.

WHAT?

OH, WELL.

AAH!

COOTCHY COOTCHY COO!

[AH... AH... AH...]

HURRY, CHIP!
HE'S GONNA BLOW!

[AH... AH-CHOO]

YOU DID IT!

YOU STOPPED THE SPHINX
AND GOT THE RING!

NOW I CAN REST AGAIN.

I'M JUST GLAD
WE COULD HELP, HIRAM,

BUT IT WOULD HAVE MADE
A GREAT SOUVENIR.

HA HA! AT LEAST
I'LL HAVE THIS DIAMOND!

[CRASH]

WEXLER!

YOU'RE A DISGRACE TO
THE ARCHAEOLOGICAL PROFESSION!

TAKE HIM AWAY, OFFICERS.

I'M TOUGH.
I CAN DO A LITTLE HARD TIME.

I'VE ALSO ARRANGED FOR YOU

TO CONTINUE CATALOGUING
THE ARTIFACTS

RIGHT IN YOUR JAIL CELL.

NO, NO!
ANYTHING BUT THAT!

HELP!

THANKS EVER SO MUCH,
EVERYBODY.

YOU'RE THE BEST FRIENDS
A MUMMY COULD EVER HAVE.

PROBABLY
THE ONLY ONES, I'D SAY.

HEY, WHERE'S
ME BUCKO DALE?

IF HE'S HUNTING
MORE SOUVENIRS...

UGH! UH!

AAH!