Charmed (1998–2006): Season 5, Episode 4 - Siren Song - full transcript

29.970

Ladies... my name is Cole Turner.

I won't hurt you.

You're a little too late for that. Don't you think?

I'm telling you, I'm not evil any more.

I come to you... a man... nothing more... nothing less.

vanquish this evil

from Time and Space.

Don't stop.

But it's time. Don't you feel it?

Your wife is almost here.



My wife...

Yes. Didn't I mention?

I always like to let the wives watch their men die.

Your husband was so much fun.

It's time to snap out of it and feel the pain.

Oh, he can't hear you.

Not any more.

OH, god.

You see, I was burned for my sins...

it's only fair that you should burn, too.

Death Did Us Part, Cole.

Just because you get to come back,

doesn't mean that I didn't keep my end of the bargain.

Come on, Phoebe... a quickie divorce...



I just thought that since we weren't going to ride off into the sunset...

If you want sunset, I can have us on horseback in five seconds flat.

Oh, yeah? What are you gonna steal a horse from one of those Apocalypse guys?

Haven't I proven to you that I am not evil any more?

Cole, we've been through this.

Okay? Your powers are evil,

your blood is acidic and everything that you are,

you stole from the demonic wasteland.

This morning, my firm agreed to pro bono work.

Can't say that's evil.

Well, if you used demonic mind control to convince your firm to do it, then yeah.

I also used my powers to vanquish three demons this week, what about that?

Cole, it doesn't matter who you're helping,

if you're using your evil powers, then it doesn't count.

Okay? And I would think that after everything...

That's our traffic delay.{\i0\

Hello?{\i0\

The fire trucks arrival.{\i0\

The neighbors fear that some residents may still be trapped inside...{\i0\

Did you listen to me?{\i0\

The flames are so intense that fire fighters have been unable to get inside to help.{\i0\

Hello?{\i0\

Please stay with the station as it develops...{\i0\

If you're just joining us, the fire is raging out of control.{\i0\

Traffic is delayed...{\i0\

Breaking news! A man has just emerged from the building...{\i0\

He saved that woman.

He saved her.

Siren Song

Yeah. Just a second.

Are you trying to kill us?

No. I'm trying to get a little attention around here.

Which, these days, seems to require a small explosion.

Well, excuse me for trying to focus.

Focus?

Ever since you quit your job, you've been on some weird witchcraft mission.

Now, I miss my sister,

and I cannot stand the constant reek...

of your potions.

Since when do your nasal passages take precedence over my potions?

Since I got pregnant and my senses went into overdrive.

But that's all right, you know, you've been busy.

Maybe you haven't noticed.

I gave up a promising career so I could focus on the craft,

and no offense, Piper, I've still got a lot to learn.

Which means I can't just sit around the house chit- chatting.

Paige, I don't want to chat.

I've got problems, here.

Jeez, you're like my husband with boobs.

What the hell was that?

That was the latest in a series of wacky tricks my growing baby is playing on my body.

You know, because the constant nausea and the torturous breast pain was not enough.

But the orbs, is that... normal?

This is what I'd like to know.

You're half Whitelighter like the baby.

Did you ever...

Burp white light?

No.

What else is happening to you?

What's happening is I think my baby is trying to turn me into some kind of pacifist.

What does Leo say about this?

Well, mostly, Leo says:

"Sorry, Honey, I gotta go."

Oh, good. You're home.

You would not believe what's happening with my...

Did you see this?

You came home to watch tv?

No. Look...

Is that Cole?

Oh, my god.

I can't believe he's doing the "look at me, I'm a good guy" routine on prime time.

Phoebe must be thrilled.

She should be.

The Elders said the woman he saved, Melissa, is a future Whitelighter,

and if he hadn't saved her,

she would never get the chance to do the good that'll earn her her wings.

Well, speaking of Whitelighters, I dreamt an animated musical last night.

Is that normal?

Normal?

Yeah. In case you haven't noticed, which I know you haven't,

my body, my thoughts, my dreams have all gone wonky.

Well, I'm sure that it's just normal pregnancy stuff.

I mean, we can talk about this later if you want to.

I think you should talk about it now.

Ok. Well, I think this attack on Melissa was demonic

and the elders want me to watch after her until she's safe.

Fine.

Go.

Not the "crying" thing.

I have growing powers inside of me.

Powers that I do not understand,

and the only person who does understand them never has time to talk.

Add that to raging hormones,

and I guarantee you I am absolutely entitled to do the crying thing.

Ok. Is that normal?

I'm sure that it's just all this arguing that's got the baby upset.

Leo, the baby is an inch long.

All this arguing is upsetting the mommy.

Ok, honey, look.

I'm sure that it's nothing to worry about.

Right now, I need to watch after Melissa

and you need to figure out who's after her.

I'm sorry.

You want me to orb his butt back here for you?

No. He's right.

Innocents come first.

And besides, the smell of his aftershave was making me want to vomit a little.

Where are you going?

To Darryl.

To see if the police found anything at the crime scene that might help.

Ok. Not to sound too simplistic,

but if she's a Whitelighter- to- be, doesn't that mean that we're after a Darklighter?

No. Darklighters use poisoned arrows.

They don't usually set fires.

Why would a demon want to kill her anyway?

I don't know, but the sooner we find out,

the sooner I'll probably be able to finish a conversation with my husband.

I'm not here. Go away.

If it isn't the "little wife".

Actually, it's not.

My marriage is over.

All except for the paperwork.

Don't let your readers hear you say that.

Who wants to take advice from the woman who's divorcing Superman?

Elise, he's no hero.

And if you're here to make me give an interview, that's exactly what I'll say.

Which is why you'll be'getting' the interview instead.

Excuse me?

No. I'm not a reporter.

No, but you're the wife.

It's called'human interest'.

Call your husband and get an exclusive with him.

Consider this a personal favor.

By "favor", I mean "order".

Woman to Woman, ok?

Cole was the love of my life.

And I am finally learning to live my life without him.

Now, calling him for a favor

would be opening up a can of worms that I have worked so hard to close.

Woman to Woman?

If you're still describing this guy as the love of your life,

then the can is open, the worms are out,

and you may as well use them to go fishing.

Shouldn't you be home with your wife?

Probably.

Rough day?

Rough month.

You know what might make you feel better?

A little music.

Earlier today, a local man rescued a woman from a burning building in the South Apartment.{\i0\

The five- alarm fire is now weakening...{\i0\

What?

No word yet on what caused the fire.{\i0\

And police are waiting to talk to the victim,{\i0\

who's been taken to San Francisco memorial in critical condition.{\i0\

She's alive.

I'm sorry. What?

You have no idea how lucky you just got.

All right. Let's get this over with, shall we?

What was going through your mind while you were in the fire?

Mostly I was hoping that one of the powers

I picked up from the demonic wasteland would protect me from the flames.

You know what?

Let's just forget it.

Let's just forget this whole thing.

I'm sorry.

I'll, I'll reign it in.

All right, well,

what was going through your mind when you were in the fire?

I was thinking,

I hope I make it out of this.

I'd hate to never see my wife again.

I'm serious.

All day long, everything I do, I'm thinking of you...

Ok. Do you think this is some kind of game?

Do you have any idea how disturbing it was for me

to watch you walk through a wall of fire?

I saved a woman's life.

How is that disturbing?

Well, because you have more powers than any demon I have ever met.

And the city may think that you're just this brave guy,

but I know the truth, ok?

And it's freaking scary.

I will not use my powers for anything but good.

I know you believe that, and I know you want it to be true,

but, Cole, it's just a matter of time.

You're wrong.

evil is inside of you.

It's who you are.

And no amount of good deeds will ever change that.

You're wrong.

And if I have to hunt down and kill every demon in San Francisco to prove it to you,

then that's what I'm going to do.

what about the interview?

You know me so well, make it up.

In the attic!

Ok. So, the good news is it's not a Darklighter.

That's what I've been telling her.

Shut up!

I told you I don't know anything.

What are you doing?

Relax, Piper!

I summoned him into this trap so he can tell me

which one of his lovely friends is trying to kill Melissa.

I'm sorry, did you say "relax?"

You brought a Darklighter into our home and you want me to relax?

Don't worry.

The Book of Shadows is safe. It's downstairs.

I'm not worried about the book.

Paige, you have Whitelighter genes.

Which means this guy could kill you,

not to mention my husband and my unborn child.

Please, it's not like he's in a power position or anything.

Ok. I was wrong. Blow him up!

What the hell?

Crossbow!

See?

This is why we do not summon Darklighters to the house.

Noted.

Now, what the hell's going on with your powers, lady?

I don't know.

I think my half- Whitelighter baby thought that fireworks would be prettier than demon guts.

Ok. Well, you need to teach your also half- witch baby

the joys of maiming and killing demons.

Get that thing away from me.

What? Are you going to tell on me now?

No. We need help.

Especially if my baby's going to be messing with my powers.

Look, Melissa's husband's lungs were incinerated before the apartment burned.

And Darryl said three other men died the same way recently.

So, the fact that Melissa is a future Whitelighter might be just a coincidence.

For god's sakes, Leo!

Hello?

Yeah. What's up?

"What's up"?

Now you don't even come home when I call?

Well, I haven't had a chance to get in and heal Melissa.

She's in really bad shape,

but I think the doctors are about to come out any minute.

Okay.

We're in pretty bad shape here, too, we've got some...

Sir,

that phone is for staff use only.

Ok, just one second.

Now's my chance. I have to go.

No, no, no. You don't understand.

My powers are on the fritz and I have no idea how to contr —

— trol them.

Maybe he got disconnected.

Oh, no. He hung up on me.

Ok. Vanquish demon first, kill husband later.

Let's just get to the Book—

What?

It's so beautiful.

What is?

Hello. Anybody home?

Orb her out, Leo.

Kiss this, bitch!

Ohh, bad baby.

I hit her with flowers?

You're welcome.

Well, at least that power still works.

Are you all right? What happened?

Before or after you were making out with the demon?

Well, I'll just go get the book.

Honey...

No! Don't you "honey" me.

Leo, our pacifist offspring just turned my best offensive power into flowers,

which got me blown out a window.

Are you all right?

Did she heal you?

Oh, is that what you think?

Because I'm self- healing now that you don't need to be around?

No. I don't think that at all.

Look, let's just focus on what's going on with your powers.

No. I'm sick and tired of focusing on everything but us.

I feel like I'm going through this whole pregnancy thing by myself,

and I do not like it.

What am I supposed to do?

I have a job.

Yeah. You have a wife, too!

Hi. I think I found the demon.

Am I interrupting something?

Yes. What does the book say?

Well, as a mortal, the siren fell in love with a married man,

but when they were caught, the man was held blameless.

Typical.

The village women cheered as they burned her to death,

and her rage turned her into a siren,

a vengeful demon who seduces married men with her song,

then destroys the couple with the very flames that consumed her.

Lovely.

Nothing we can't handle with a good potion.

I wouldn't be so sure.

You didn't feel her power.

Looked to me like you felt a little bit more than her power.

Yeah, right. Like I really wanted to.

Yeah, well, if you were home instead —

What? What am I supposed to do?

Abandon my charges?

Clip my wings?

I expect you to care, and notice,

and ask what's going on with me.

I expect you to make me a priority,

and not just when demons are involved.

It's not like I'm out golfing or screwing around, you know?

I'm working and my work is very important.

I'm not saying that it isn't.

Then what are you saying?

You guys...

Forget it.

You don't understand.

I don't understand? You don't understand.

I understand that your charges are more important than your family.

You have no idea what I go through every day.

You have no clue what I go through every day.

That can't have been good.

What happened?

Well, I tried to tell you guys.

Orbs were swirling and—

Where am I?

Freeze her again.

What just happened here?

Melissa, wait!

Hey, that's my power.

Ok. Why do I have the feeling my day's about to get worse?

Hold on... almost there.

Was it the Charmed Ones?

Smells that way.

There were only two?

Lucky you didn't meet all three.

You wouldn't have had the luxury of calling me for healing.

You should leave before the witches find you.

I want them to find me.

Save me from having to sing for their husbands.

So eager for vengeance.

You foolish girl.

You barely got away the first time.

I wasn't ready for them.

This time, I will be.

But how can you hope to fight such powerful witches?

They may be powerful,

but they are no different than any other woman when it comes to love.

I need to go after Melissa.

And what?

Blow her up?

Damn it.

Look, give daddy his powers back now!

Don't blame my niece.

She magically swapped your powers because the 2 of you were not communicating.

We were communicating.

We were just communicating loudly.

Well, think what you want.

I think my niece is a genius.

She did exactly what any good marriage counselor would have done.

Any good marriage counselor would have swapped our powers?

No. She would have made you walk a mile in each other's shoes.

Abracadabra!

Nice job!

You did all that with abracadabra?

I used a spell.

I just always wanted to say that.

Come on. We need to go make the siren's potion before she starts singing again.

Shouldn't we concentrate on swapping our powers back?

Come on. Now, Leo, you know how that works.

You 2 are only going to get your powers back once you've learned your lessons.

I hate that.

It's just so very after- school special.

Ok, what's with all the chatter in my head?

It's probably one of my charges.

Does anyone sound panicked?

How do you differentiate?

Wait, do you hear these voices all the time?

Pretty much.

Ok can we just focus on the siren?

Power swap or not, if she came after you once, you're still vulnerable.

Hey, you're still married, too.

She might come after you.

I'm only technically married.

Besides, if she's stupid enough to go after Cole, it'll be her swan song.

Knocking!

Ok. I'm hearing knocking sounds.

Yeah, honey, we all are.

What? I knocked.

Doors. People use doors.

No time.

I came to warn you there's a Siren in town.

I think she might be the one who...

Set the fire?

Yeah, yeah, we got that.

What was that?

Hey, how did you do that?

I don't know, but I'm feeling really nauseous.

Oh, god. And I'm not.

Wait— how— why— why does he have my pregnancy symptoms?

Wait. W- wait. You're pregnant?

Well, I was, but now I think Leo is.

Relax, you guys.

Leo blew the door up.

He didn't cover it with flowers, which means, clearly, you're still pregnant.

Then, why...

Because magic has a sick sense of humor.

Just enjoy it.

Are your boobs always this sore?

I'm a little confused.

Cole, maybe you should leave.

Phoebe, this Siren is dangerous,

and since your powers are obviously a little off, maybe I could help.

That's ok.

We don't need your help.

We got enough demons to deal with around here.

Fine...

I'll find her and vanquish her myself.

He's trying so hard to be good, maybe -

Phoebe, we've been down this road before.

Panic! Somebody's panicking!

Who is it?

I don't know. It's close.

I think it might be Melissa?

Is the siren after her?

She seems more overwhelmed than scared.

Well, yeah.

Everything that she's been through.

I have to go to her.

You're not going anywhere.

She's going.

Me? Why?

Well, because you have Leo's powers now.

That means you're the Whitelighter.

But that doesn't mean I know what to do.

I think that's the point.

Walk a mile in each other's shoes.

All right, you have to hurry.

Paige will show you how to orb.

I have to stay here and make the potion.

I'll do it.

Come on. Come on.

She's giving me a migraine.

But...

So, are you ready to kick some demon ass..."Sis"?

Ok. We're here. Now what?

I don't know. I mean, she's afraid of us.

I don't want to make her more upset.

Well, let's just cast a spell to help her deal with what she's been through today.

Call me crazy, but somehow,

I don't think witchcraft is the solution here.

Well, I'm out of ideas.

You know, Paige, there is another part of you.

Your birth father was half Whitelighter.

Yeah. He also had blue eyes.

That doesn't mean that I do.

Who are you?

Why won't you leave me alone?

Melissa, we're just trying to help you and get you some clothes...

Get away from me!

Just leave me alone!

Another charge is in trouble.

Oh, big trouble.

You go after her. I've got to go.

What? No. You can't expect me to...

I'm not a Whitelighter.

I'm a witch!

Il est où Leo?

What?

Je vous en prie, ils me poursuivent.

Calmez vous. Je vais vous protèger.

Was that french?

Ils arrivent!

Allons- y!

Nice shot!

I was aiming for the plant.

These powers are useless.

They're completely out of control.

That's because you're a little out of control.

You just need to relax.

Relax? I'm sore all over,

I'm without my powers,

and I'm about to have to fight a demon.

My own aftershave is making me sick.

How does Piper do this?

Well, she, too, sometimes gets a little cranky.

The Elders are going to kill me.

If anything happens to my charges, they're going to clip my wings and...

Oh, this is ridiculous.

Why do they call it morning sickness if it lasts all day?

What the hell? A rooster?

Long story.

Since- a- when do you speak- a French?

Oh, well, Whitelighters speak whatever language their charges are speaking in.

We've been together 4 years and I don't know this.

Hey, where's Paige?

Because this potion's almost ready.

She is with Melissa and she's not real happy about it, either.

I gotta go. Somebody's calling.

Ok. Piper, wait.

I need help with your powers...

and with your nausea.

Well, honey, I'm sorry, but somebody is really in trouble.

But I'm really in trouble.

Try saltines.

Here are your crackers.

Here is a pad and a pen.

We need a summoning spell.

Now I'm supposed to rhyme?

Yeah. No rest for the whiny.

The potion won't work on the Siren unless we can find her.

Do it!

Where is the Siren?

I'm sure you two will want to be alone.

Patience.

Right now, I need to sing for your witch.

Let's hear the spell, Leo.

We got a Siren to vanquish.

Oh, singing lady of the dusk, who preys on men,

turns love to lust, we hearken ye -

"We hearken ye"?

What, are we trying to summon a leprechaun here?

I told you I wasn't very good at this.

Give me that.

It's ok, honey, we'll just rewrite that last line.

What's going on?

Is it all over?

No. You're just in time.

We have a potion, we have a barricade, we almost have a summoning spell.

Well, ok. Let's get to it.

Wait. Where's Melissa?

Well, she got herself arrested.

I know, I know!

I was trying to talk to her and then I was just running after her

and she just kept running, and she ran into the middle of the street,

and she caused a big, giant traffic accident.

Well... you know, she'll be safe now.

In jail.

Paige, you were supposed to be taking care of her!

Don't you get it?

This could be the final straw.

The beginning of a downward spiral from which she may never recover!

I'm sorry.

I don't know what's wrong with me.

Dude, it's the crying thing.

It's the hormones.

Really? I just thought that was an excuse.

Welcome to our world.

What happened to Melissa?

Word travels fast.

I feel like she's in trouble,

but I'm getting so many damn signals,

I can't find her.

Wasn't she supposed to be the one charge that I didn't have to worry about?

I'm sorry, Piper. I tried.

Yeah. Well, while you were trying,

I evaded assassins.

I prevented 2 crimes of passion, in Portuguese, no less, and delivered a baby.

I think the least I can ask for in return is a little help from my family.

Well, I told you I wasn't any good at this Whitelighter thing.

But it's in you. It's half of who you are.

Obviously the latent half.

No, Paige, it's the half that made you become a social worker in the first place.

But it's like when you quit your job,

you quit half your personality.

My job is being a full- time witch, and I intend to be good at it,

and I don't think there's a problem with me concentrating on magic.

Well, there is when you're in such a hurry to get back here for a vanquish

that you leave an innocent alone and in pain.

Paige, it's our compassion, not our powers that separates us from the bad guys.

It's the part of you you can never afford to lose.

It's that part of you that Melissa needs now.

I guess I'd better get back to her.

You know, you're a pretty good Whitelighter.

Well, I learned from the best.

How'd you get them to let you in here?

I have a friend who is a police officer

and he knows I'm not here to hurt you.

Look, I know you don't know me.

And after everything you've been through today,

I know you have no reason to trust me.

Who are you?

What are you?

What do you want from me?

My name is Paige Matthews and I'm a witch.

And a sort of part guardian angel.

I know it's a lot to process and really hard to believe,

but I really do just want to help you.

I feel like I'm going crazy.

Yeah. I think

after what you've been through today, anybody would.

My friend, he's working on getting you out of here.

I don't care.

I don't care if I ever get out of here.

I'm so sorry about your husband.

I just can't believe that he's gone.

Phoebe's not anywhere.

What if Phoebe underestimated the Siren?

What if the Siren has Phoebe and Cole?

Can you sense her?

I've been trying, but there's all this chaos in my brain.

I keep hearing voices, and there's all this pain,

and I can't isolate anything.

I know it's hard, but you have to try. Breathe.

Concentrate.

Screw that. Let's just cut to the chase.

Cole's place? Did you sense her here?

No. I just decided to rely on some good,

old- fashioned common sense.

Ok. Well, that's not working,

and we can't orb all over town trying to find her.

You have to sense her.

Well, I can't.

Piper, you have to.

She's almost here.

Too bad.

I was actually having fun with you.

He was cute, but this is still my favorite part.

Nobody hurts me and gets away with it, you little witch.

Wanna bet?

You're alive.

That's not possible.

Cole, that was the vanquishing potion.

I know...

I want her for myself.

Do me a favor. Make it hurt.

Piper, you have to focus.

Take a deep breath.

Imagine white lights flowing around you, flowing through you.

If I breathe anymore, I'm going to pass out.

Damn it, Piper.

I hear those voices, I feel that pain all the time.

How do you think I do it?

How do you think I separate myself?

I don't know.

By coming home to you.

I've been walking around in your life all day,

and I honestly don't know how you handle it.

The way I handle mine is by coming home to you.

It's your love that keeps me whole, and sane, and balanced.

And I need you to allow me to do the same thing for you right now.

Just look into my eyes and breathe.

Oh, god.

Get off of me!

I think he'll come in handy with your sisters.

Leo, it's all you.

Leo, come on now, focus!

Hurry!

Please.

It's me.

Wake up. Come on, come on. Wake up.

Oh, no.

Heal her.

What?

You can do it.

How you doing?

I didn't mean to...

I'm sorry.

I'm a nag.

No, you're not.

Yeah, I am, and that's why we don't have our powers back, yet.

Because I'm a nag, and I never learn.

Piper, I'm the reason why we don't have our powers back.

I've been an insensitive lout, and I clearly haven't gotten...

Leo, your work is very important.

Not more important than my family.

Guys...

I mean, you're pregnant, and you need me,

and I should've understood that, instead of...

But I could've been a little more patien...

Guys!

What?

I just thought you might want to take cover.

I'm not nauseous.

Hey, I am!

Wait, that's not good news.

What about your powers?

Very nice!

No more floral arrangements.

Yeah. I guess I got in touch with my inner Whitelighter.

Yeah. Helping Melissa helped me, too.

It's good to know I have it in me.

What?

Voulez vous couchez avec moi?

Mais oui.

Look who's back to using doors.

Yeah. I'm trying to limit my use of powers.

Probably a wise decision.

So, did you get my flowers?

Yep...

"Sorry I tried to strangle you?"

Probably not a card the florist gets to write everyday.

I didn't...

I know...

I know you're sorry.

I know you were under The Siren's spell.

You do know her magic feeds on love.

She couldn't have lured us if we didn't love each other.

Right. So, once again, our love was nearly fatal.

I never would've hurt you if I wasn't under her spell.

Most men don't try to kill their wives when they're under The Siren's spell.

Most men just kiss and die.

But because you're a Demon -

I'm not...

Ok. Well...

because you have demonic powers, and a lot of them,

you became a bigger threat than The Siren.

And that's only one way out of a thousand that your powers can turn against me.

I guess I didn't want you to be right.

Neither did I.