Charlie's Angels (1976–1981): Season 3, Episode 8 - Angels Ahoy - full transcript

On a cruise ship, one of the passengers recognizes another passenger as a man who killed his wife, but originally disappeared. Later the passenger is found dead. The owner then calls Charlie. They believe that someone is smuggling fugitives out of the country on the ship. And they suspect one man, Sanchez of being involved. But they know that there others so to find out who they are they need to provide them with another fugitive. So Sabrina poses as a woman on the run and approaches Sanchez who offers to help her for a price. Kelly is hired as the ship's new recreation director and Kris goes on board as another passenger. So they figure out which members of the crew are involved but somehow they know who they are.

Once upon a time,

there were three little girls who
went to the police academy...

Two in Los Angeles,

the other in San Francisco...

And they were each assigned
very hazardous duties.


But I took them away from all
that, and now they work for me.

My name is Charlie.



[Footsteps Departing]

Oh-Oh! Sorry.

May I help you?
Oh, Mr. Anderson.

You've got to do something.

There's a murderer aboard this
ship. You've seen someone killed?

No, no, no. It was
in Philadelphia.

I'm sorry, I don't seem
to be able to follow you.

Listen, please.

My name is Lisa Blake.
I'm from Philadelphia.

That man's picture was in the
newspaper there and on television.

He murdered his wife!

His name is... Thatcher!

And you've seen
him aboard this ship?

He's in the stateroom
across from mine.

J... J-142, I think.

All right. Please, come with me.

[Breathes Heavily]
It'll be all right.

There's a Mr. Cardenos
registered in this stateroom.

His name is Thatcher. His
picture was in all the papers.

Are you sure? Oh, please, believe
me. You've got to do something.

All right. Now go back to
your cabin. Lock your door.

I'll go get Captain
Brunner. All right.

Don't worry, I'll be right
back. Oh, thank you.

[Door Closes]

[Knocking] [Gasps]

Who is it?

[Man] Steward,
ma'am. Purser sent me.

[Gasps] You forgot
your murder mystery.


No. No! [Screams]

[Man] They tried to make it look like
an accident, but I'm sure it was murder.

Her name was Lisa Blake.

Only 23 years old, she was.

And the story that she told the
purser was true, Captain Jack?

[Charlie On Speakerphone] That's
right, Kris. The man Lisa identified...

escaped on his way to
prison outside Philadelphia.

And he's vanished too. He probably
left the ship when it reached Brazil.

Uh-huh. He isn't the first criminal to
skip the country in the past few months.

Authorities are certain that
somebody is helping them.

And now it looks like they're
using my ship, the Southern Queen,

as the base for
their filthy operations.

I'd like to get me
hands on them.

Do you have any idea
who they might be?

Well, on two occasions...

the trail led to a bar in L.A...

named Shanghai Shanty...

[Slide Projector Shuffles]

but the trail went cold there.

There is a steward, though,
aboard the Southern Queen...

by the name of Leo Sanchez,

and he has a criminal
record of his own.

Guess where he spends most
of his time when he's in port?

The Shanghai Shanty?

Mm-hmm. Hmm.

And I'll bet there's a reason
that he hasn't been picked up yet.

- Right again. Leo is just hired help.
- [Slide Shuffles]

I'm sure he's working for
someone else aboard the ship.

So, Angels, you're taking a
cruise on the Southern Queen.

- [Slide Shuffles]
- Now, the captain
is James Brunner.

He won't know your real
identities, so you're on your own.

Your assignment is to find out who is
running the operation and to break it up.

So we'll all need
to have a cover,

but one of you will have
to be a wanted criminal...

Tough, streetwise...

and capable of anything.

Wait a minute!

Why are you looking at me?




[No Audible Dialogue]

Hey, Leo, mind if I sit down?

Hey, come on, honey. Get lost. Hey,
look I traveled 3,000 miles to talk to you.

I been sleepin' in barns and eatin'
bananas. Now you gotta listen to me.

I'm listening. Okay. My
name is Sabrina Lampone.

Lampone? That's right.
Uncle Vito is my uncle.

Uh, you did some time
with him up at "the Q."

Did we? Oh, please, come
on. I don't have time for this.

I'm in a lot of trouble
back in New York.

What kind of trouble? Well, the
kind that don't get fixed so easy.

There was this union pension
plan that I was in charge of.

A lot of money, and it was
missing... I don't know how it got lost.

Uncle Vito thought maybe it would be a
little more healthier for me if I left there,

being that such I'm a
delicate girl and all. [Slurps]

What does that
got to do with me?

Well, Uncle Vito thought that I could use
a little vacation, you know what I mean?

Get a little rest, and, uh, he highly
recommended your, uh... your travel agency.

[Chuckles] He did,
huh? Yeah, he did.

I hear Rio is real lovely
this time of the year.

Just the place for somebody
trying to get away from it all.

- Yeah, like me.
- Overhead is really way up.

How much? We got to get you
some traveling clothes and a passport.

Okay. Yeah, look, you don't have to
worry about the money, because I...

Well, you know, I recently
came into a whole lot of cash.

Oh, yeah. What you got in there?

Just my dirty
clothes, that's all.

You don't have to worry about
it. You will get your money, okay?

Okay, I got to check first.

It should be okay. It's
going to cost you 50,000.

[Sighs] Cash up front.

Fifty? Pretty steep.

Honey, this is a deluxe store.

Okay, I got about
10 grand in here.

Uncle Vito will be
very, very appreciative.

- What name do you want
on your passport?
- Duncan.

I'll use my first name, Sabrina,
and I'll use Duncan, Sabrina Duncan.

Sounds good. Now
listen. Listen carefully.

Southern Queen sails
Friday morning at 7:00.

Southern Queen at 7:00.

Be on time.

For sure. Okay, uh, look, um, I'm
gonna get outta here now, and, uh,

I just wanna tell ya how much I appreciate
it, and, uh, thanks a lot for lunch.

[Footsteps Departing]

Leo's not the head man. There
is somebody else in charge.

Well, I tell you this. If
he does any checking,

Charlie has fixed it so he will find
rumors of a big pension swindle...

circulating in the
New York underworld,

and the name Lampone
will figure prominently.

And also, Captain McGuire
has pulled a few strings.

Oh, well, it was my pleasure.

They'll no longer let me weigh anchor, but
they will still allow me pull a few strings.

How do you like my new
activities director? She'll be ready.

She'll also have shoulders like
Joan Crawford if she keeps this up.

That was the dress.

Just exactly what will
she be directing, Captain?

Well... [Clears Throat] since we
call this our "swinging singles" cruise...

[Chuckles] Well, you
can take it from there.

Oh, well, that's
very interesting.

Ah, Bosley will love the "swinging
singles" cruise. Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.

That is, if he gets
a new tie. New tie?

Yes, Bosley. [Chuckles]
Not polka dots.

You see, you want to
look sharp. [Snaps Fingers]

What's the matter
with polka dots?

Well... [Clears Throat] I guess
there's nothing more for me to do...

but to wish you
all good luck... Oh.

And bon voyage.

Thanks. I really
like polka dots.

Oh, Bosley. I think
they're very sharp.

[Horn Blows]

Hello, uh, Duncan,
Miss S. Duncan.

Oh, hello. I'm Kelly Garrett,
your activities director.

Oh, activities director.
Well, you look very nice.

Uh, Miss Duncan, you're
in stateroom F-139. Yeah.

The steward will
show you the way.

A steward? Great, great. Which
way? Oh. [Leo] This way, please.

Uh, this way. This way? Great.

Good morning.

Sunstroke. I beg your pardon?

Sunstroke. Did you
see the complexion?

Whoa. Keep an eye on him. Oh.

[Chuckles] Okay.

Oh, Kelly, this is Doc
Harris, the ship's doctor.

He's a good man to know. Hi.

I'm a good man to
know if you like gin.

We can either play it or
drink it. It's your choice.

How about some free medical
advice? Oh, sure, anytime.

It'll be worth the price too.


Heart palpitations.
See that hypertension?

I keep a mental list of
all my potential patients.

Well, with any luck, she'll have her
breakdown after we get her home.

[Laughs] Do you detect any
signs of stress in me, Doctor?

Oh, no. You're fine.

But when you're around,
I have a few problems.

I like this crew,
don't you, Ben?

I wished they all
looked like that.

Visit my dispensary...
anytime. Okay.

Kelly, you better
get to your desk.

The sports nuts will be lining up
for equipment even as we speak.

Okay. I'll see you later. Bye.

Uh, welcome to
the Southern Queen.

Forget the Queen, honey.

Where's the king?

[Horn Blows]


[Metal Clanks]

[Kelly Grunts]
Are you all right?

Yes, I think so. Thank you.

Well, good. You weren't on
my list of potential patients.

[Creaking] I don't
understand it.

How could that have fallen?

- I don't understand it either.
- Doc!

She's all right, Captain.

[Horn Blows]

So I checked with Bree, and Leo
was with her when that equipment fell.

So somebody else cut it loose.
Huh. The captain was nearby,

and so was Doc
Harris and some others.

Well, nobody's supposed to know
who you are. Something's gone wrong.

I guess so. It was
definitely not an accident.

That rope was cut. Well, I... [Smacks
Lips] I suggest a new game plan then,

and you be careful.

Ah. There's a musician by the name
of Mark Correll playing in the lounge.

He was on board when
Lisa Blake disappeared.

Okay, I'll check him
out right now. All righty.

♪♪ [Disco]

No, no, no. Hold it, hold it,
hold it, gentlemen. ♪♪ [Stops]

The first instrument to
finish doesn't win a prize.

This is not a race, you see.

Now let's try it one
more time from the...

[Exhales] Well, forget
that. Take a break.


I what? Euterpe.

She was one of the nine muses.

Goddess of music...
and lyric poetry.

You remind me of her.


Let's see. There you are.

Well, that's
terrific. Thank you.

It's even better
than the other one.

The other one? What other
one? You don't remember.

Well, no, no, no. Sure, I do. Now,
just give me a second. It'll come.

That's very
disappointing, you know.

I saw that you were on the
ship and I thought that we could...

Well, we can. We can.

Well, if it wasn't that memorable
the first time... But it was...

You just, uh... You
caught me at a bad time.

I'm breakin' in a... a new
group over there, and... [Giggles]

it's always kind of a pain. Oh,
what happened to the old group?

Well, you know, they don't pay
that much bread on these cruises,

and once the novelty of being on a ship
wears off, well, you know, they kinda split.

Hmm. The novelty hasn't
worn out for you though.

No, I like the sea air.

Good. Maybe it'll
refresh your memory.


Uh, right around
to the left. Okay.

Hi, can I help you? I
wanted to play Ping-Pong.

Well, you've come
to the right spot.

Well, I don't... I don't have
anyone on the ship to play with.

I mean, I don't know anyone.
Oh, well, this is a singles cruise.

You shouldn't have any
trouble meeting people.

But everyone is so young.

Hey, don't sell yourself
short. You look terrific.

Oh, thank you. I wasn't
sure what to wear.

Oh, this is your first cruise?

It's my first everything
for a long time.

You see, I, um... [Smacks Lips]

Well, I lost my
husband just last year.

I guess I'm a little
out of practice.

Well, let's see what we can do
about that. What is your name?

Oh, Joan. Joan Sayers.

Joan, you're about to have the greatest
Ping-Pong game of your life. Come on.

Oh. Let's go over here a minute.

Mr. Bosley? Oh, yes.

Thanks. You're welcome.

Uh, John Bosley, Joan Sayers.

Oh, how do you do?
Hello, Mr. Bosley.

I'm afraid we don't have
a golf course on board.

- How's your Ping-Pong?
- Oh, well, pretty good.

As a matter of fact, my
freshman year in college,

I was known as
the sultan of slam.

- It's all in the wrist.
- I'm afraid
I'm really not very good.

Oh, don't worry about that. It would
be my pleasure. I'd love to teach you.

Well, thank you.
Thank you. Okay.

Okay, now try and look refined.

Oh, come on. You
know what I mean.

Hey, wait a minute. Sabrina
Lampone might have chewed gum,

but Sabrina Duncan
does not, right?

I put it on the
roof of my mouth.

[Sighs] Okay.

[Shutter Clicks]

[Ping-Pong Ball Bouncing]


21-4. My game again,
I think. That's right.

You know, John, I find Ping-Pong
very exhilarating, don't you?

Oh, yes, very exhilarating. As a matter of fact,
so much so, that I would love a cold drink.

How about you? Uh, one
more quick game, huh?

No, no, no. Not until I
recharge my batteries.

All right. Thank you.
I would love a drink.

Say, tell me. Was your
husband an athlete?

Les? Oh, Les, was a dear,
but, uh, he hated to lose.

Oh. Well, Joan, I will be
happy to lose to you anytime.

Thank you very much. [Giggles]

Miss Garrett? We haven't
met. I'm Captain Brunner.

You run a beautiful
ship, Captain.

- Yes. Well, I've always thought so.
- Is something the matter?

You know, I've been skipper of the
Southern Queen for over a year now,

and my ability to command has
never been questioned before.

Well, I don't understand.

Jack McGuire should have come to
me first, before he hired a detective.

What did he tell you?

You're here to investigate
Lisa Blake's death.

Now, I handed in my report. The
girl was hysterical and confused.

Her death was very sad,
but it was an accident.

There seem to be a lot
of accidents on this ship.

A piece of heavy equipment
almost fell on me, Captain.

Accidents happen to people who
are accident prone, Miss Garrett.

That woman's death had nothing
whatsoever to do with me or my ship.

I see.


♪♪ [Jazz Pop]

♪♪ [Ends] Thank you very
much, ladies and gentlemen.

We're going to take a short break.
Be back in about 15. Thank you.

[Chattering Continues]

Hi. Hi.

- Buy you a drink?
- I have one, thank you.

Have another.

For old times' sake.

You remembered?

Of course. I never forgot.

You knew that.

[Laughs] The little bar
at the end of the pier.


And then it rained.

It was beautiful.

Where was it?

Tip-Top Club, Saginaw, right?

Ahh! Wrong.

Wrong. Where?

Kelly? Oh, hi.

Hey, you don't have to do that. One
of the deck crew will take care of those.

Your job is fun and games,
remember? Fun and games, huh?

Would you please
tell my feet that?

Oh, here, somebody left
this at the desk for you.

I'll bet it's your
first fan letter or, uh,

maybe a marriage proposal?

It's a proposal, all right. I'm not
sure marriage goes along with it.

Yeah, I'll bet you
get a lot of those.

How long have you been
aboard the Queen, Ben?

Oh, Her Majesty and I have
been acquainted for eight months.

Huh. Do you like it?
One crisis after another?

Well, it's not bad. A big crisis is
usually a severe case of sunburn.

Somebody told me a passenger
on the last voyage fell overboard.

A young woman.
Who told you that?

Well, is it true? Did she?


Look, Kelly, I don't
know who told you that,

but Captain Brunner has given all
of us strict orders not to talk about it.

So you'd better just stick to
fun and games, okay? Okay.

Well, I'm still short costumes for the
party tomorrow night. So I'll see you later.


Pretty girl, huh?

Trying to make time, Ben? No.

I'm trying to find out why
she's really aboard this ship.

Hi. Hi. Someone
just sent me this.

"Lisa Blake did not fall
overboard accidentally.

Boiler room, 9:00."

It could be one of the crew. They've been
ordered not to talk by Captain Brunner.

It could also be a trap.
I know. I'll be careful.


[Machinery Whirring]

[Whirring Continues]


It's already past 9:00. Kelly
ought to be back by now.

Listen, if anybody stops us,
we'll just say we're lost. Come on.

I'll get an extinguisher.

[Kris] Kelly!



Kelly! Now put this around you.

Okay. Ready? Hold
on to me. Let's go.

Oh, are you all right?

Are you okay?


Hiya. Uh-oh. What happened? Hi.

It's okay. Somebody tried to
burn Kelly up in the boiler room.

You all right? Yeah.

It was a setup. Somebody
poured fuel oil all over the floor.

Who gave you that
note? Ben Anderson.

You know, this place is
crawling with suspects.

Now, they just took my
passport photo on the ship.

So that means the
photographer's in on it too.

And you know what? Mark
Correll is a terrific artist.

He does all these nice,
little detailed sketches.

He could be doing
the passport jobs.

You think you can get
a look around his cabin?

I don't think that's
gonna be a problem.

The problem is somebody's
trying to kill Kelly,

and we've got to break
this thing open and fast.

Yeah, Bosley's right. And
I think maybe it's up to me.

- What are you gonna do?
- Well, stir up a little
trouble, see what happens.

This is not safe. I told
you I would contact you.

Now, here's your passport. Look,
a lot of good that's gonna do me,

if there are cops crawling
all over this boat... Shh!

By the time we get to Rio. Cops?

What are you talking about? Somebody tried
to kill the activities director last night.

Yeah? I didn't hear
anything about that.

Oh, yeah? You're the only
one on the boat that didn't.

If it hadn't been for two
passengers found her, she'd be dead.

- Is she a cop or what?
- How do I know?

Look, Leo, I'm payin' you a lot of
money to get away from the law,

and you're gonna put me in
the middle of a murder case.

Tell you what, I don't
trust you anymore, okay?

I don't deal with people that I don't trust.
Uncle Vito told me, go to the top man.

You're not bright enough and
tough enough to be the top man.

You tell me who he is right now,
'cause I gotta talk to him, all right?

He doesn't do
that. Now you listen.

You back out on our deal, and
maybe you'll never get off this boat.

Don't you threaten me. Because the
Lampone family has your name, okay?

Anything happens to me,
you're in hot water up to here.

I tell you what, Leo, you tell the top
man I wanna talk to him real soon.

Okay, Leo?



My first husband, Ernest,
taught me how to shoot. Pull.

[Click] Pull.

[Shell Casing Clatters] Hey.

Oh. Hi, Doc. Do you want to
check out a costume for tonight?

No, I don't need a
costume, my dear.

I pretend to be sober. That's
my guise. What about you?

No chance for Lady Godiva, I
guess? No, I wouldn't count on it.

Hear you had a little
scare in the boiler room.

Oh? Who told you that?

Ben Anderson. I think
he's got his eye on you.

Now you be careful.
I'm very jealous.

- Okay.
- Let me take a look
at that wrist.

Oh, it's nothing,
really. It's fine.

What were you doing in
the boiler room anyway?

You, uh, mechanically inclined?

No. Just nosy.

I think you'll live.
[Taps Counter]

Take two aspirins and
come to my room at midnight.

Hey. Hi, Doc.

Well, do you have
any pirates left?

Yes, our last one.

Ah, I like that.

- Arr! You're
a good-looking one, Lucy.
- [Chuckles]

John, I am having such a good time, I
would be shipwrecked with you any day.

[Laughs] Thanks.


[Latches Click]

Where's that Garrett girl?
I don't know where she is.

Well, you better find her.

I'm telling you,
he's real angry.

Why? I'm gonna get her.

Why do I have to get her?

He wants her
dead, that's why. No.

I don't like it! Why
do we have to kill her?

Why can't we just
split when we hit port?

Oh, sure, just run.
That's real easy.

I don't like us killing
people, especially broads.

And that was never part of
the deal when we started out.

Oh, well, lover boy,
I got news for you.

This Garrett broad? She
is a detective. A detective?

Yeah, now you think
about that. Terrific.

Oh, you can run all you
want, but if they make a case,

they're going to find you sooner
or later. Yeah, yeah, okay, okay.

But I don't have
to like it, right?

[Door Slams]

♪♪ [Jazz Pop]


Joan, uh, may I ask you a
personal question? Of course.

Well, you've told me
about Lester and Ernest.

Well, how many times
have you been married?


You never married, John? No.

Never wanted to?
Not for quite awhile.

Lately, uh...

Well, lately, uh, I find I just
don't have much time for myself.

I mean, I have friends,

but I guess you could say I'm
just much more married to my work.

[Laughs] What a shame.

None of my
husbands were perfect,

but each one of them gave
me something I needed.

Don't you miss having
someone to come home to?

Well, I guess I haven't
really thought about it... much.


Bree. Looks like Bosley's having
a little romance on the high seas.

Bree, listen, I can't find Kelly.
I overheard Correll and Leo.

- They plan on
killing her tonight.
- All right.

I'll go out the back way and
meet you in Bosley's room. Hurry.


[Mouthing Words]

Joan, look, I'm sorry, but I'm going
to have to leave for a little while.

Leave? Why?

Well, because, uh... Well,
I'm not gonna lie to you.

It's a business matter, and
I just have to take care of it.

It's rather confidential. But I promise
you I'll be back just as soon as I can.

Will you trust me? Of course.

Then Correll is the one
that's forging the passports?

Absolutely. His whole
stateroom is a... is a printing shop.

Okay, we know there are four people involved:
there's Leo, Correll, the photographer...

and whoever's running
the whole operation.

Where is Kelly? Where is she? I'm really
getting worried. I've taken care of it.

I talked to a steward. I told him to send
up the activities director immediately,

because my costume
didn't fit. [Knocking] Good.

Oh, good, there she is. Ah.

Hi. Who are you?

The activities director. Aren't
you coming to the masquerade?

Well, what, uh... What
happened to the old one?

I guess she quit.

What did you want me for anyway?

Would you like to see
my buried treasure?

No wonder she quit.

What is going on? Where's Kelly? I
don't know. We better go look for her.

Okay, look, we got
five decks to search.

Now let's just stay cool about it, all
right? We need to find Leo and Correll.

Okay, that's a good idea. Wait a minute,
wait a minute though. Everybody's in costume.

Okay, wait a minute. Kelly told me
what everybody would be wearing.

Uh, let's see, Leo's a cowboy,
and Correll is Don Juan.

And the Captain is,
um, Rip van Winkle.

All right, all right. Okay.

Captain Brunner is Rip
van Winkle. Correll... Oh.

Correll is Don Juan.

♪♪ [Soft Rock]


Correll is, uh, Don Juan.

Or is it, Correll,
Rip van Winkle?

Uh, and Leo is, uh... uh...

Leo is the, uh,
cow-cowgirl... uh, cowboy.

Uh, or is it...

Just stay put.

Who is it? Leo, Leo.
Come on. Open up.

He wants to see her. He's
at the pool deck waiting.

All right. Well, just take her, take
her. I gotta get back on the bandstand.

He wants everybody
there. [Knocking]

Not a sound from
you. Get over there.

Who is it? Euterpe.

Hi. Hi.

How's your memory tonight?

I don't really have time to play
memory games tonight. I'm kinda busy.

Oh. You got company?

No, no. I just have to finish dressing,
go to work, pound the old piano keys.

How about I meet you later at
the bar when I'm finished, huh?

For old times' sake? Yeah, for
old times' sake. See you later?



♪♪ [Disco] [Chattering]

Excuse me. Excuse me.


Oh, I'm sorry. I thought
you were somebody else.

What's the matter? Kris? Bosley,
come here. I think I found Kelly.

Where? Come on.

Excuse me. Move out.

This thing is giving me
a heck of a headache.

They were just
here a minute ago.

Come on. They
couldn't have gone far.

Remember, honey,
this gun is for real.

[Mark] Here she is.

I hate to tell you this,
my dear... [Clears Throat]


I don't understand.

You have a terminal
case of nosiness.

So you might consider what
I have to do a mercy killing.

Why? Why do I find myself
in this awkward position?

My motive was dreary
and unexceptional: greed.

I have to retire.

All these glistening
bodies lying about the pool,

gleaming like sardines.

Why should they live in indolent luxury while
I end up with little more than varicose veins?

- How did you know it was me?
- Captain Brunner told me. [Chuckles]

He trusts me like a brother.
He's a very good man,

but he's a little slow.

You'll never get away with this. No
one's gonna believe another accident.

Oh, no? You don't think so?

Try this for size:

Our lovely young activities
director has too much to drink...

and falls into the pool.

Because of her inebriated
condition, the poor thing drowns,

despite of the best efforts
of five eyewitnesses.

No, let's make that six.

Go get that Lampone girl.

We'll make her a part of
this, then we'll own her.


Ooh, watch it.

All right, uh, Brunner
is Don Juan, and, uh...

No. Oh, no, no.
He's Rip van Winkle.

Right. And, uh,
what's his name...

Correll. Correll.
Correll is Don Juan.

Okay, you got it, Bosley?
Yeah, yeah. I think so.

Leo. Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's me.

Listen, the man wants to
see you, but he wants a favor.

We've got to get rid of that
broad that you were worried about.

You were right.

She is a detective, and he
wants you to be part of the cover.

Okay. Where are they? Pool deck.

Come on. Let's go.
Ah-ah-ah, shh. Leo.

What? Look straight
ahead. Don't look at me.

How do you know she's working alone? How do
you know there's not someone working with her?

Ah-ah-ah. Move.


Where is that imbecile?

Well, my dear, we
might as well get started.

Correll, get that pole.


Hold it, Leo!

Bosley, is that you? Sabrina!

Yeah, yeah, yeah,
yeah. Bree, where's Leo?

He's in the freezer.
Come on. Huh?

Medical science
has been fascinated...

by how long some people can
hold their breath underwater.

[Kelly Groaning]

Well, what happened?
Where's the Lampone girl?

What is this? I guess you've got
me confused with somebody else.




Let's go. Go on, go on.

I'll take that.
No, John, please.

I'm sorry.


Have you two been introduced?

Meet Joan Kendall.

She buried four husbands
before the cops caught on.

I'm transporting her to
South America for a fat fee.

I thought of
marrying her myself.

I always like to
live dangerously.


I'm sorry.

What I don't understand is why Doc
Harris got mixed up in something so rotten.

Well, maybe giving
all those sugar pills...

to all those dowagers
drove him a little bonkers.

Yeah, and the good doctor was
real happy to talk about his little setup.

[Charlie] Thanks to that ego, the
police are on the trail of Thatcher...

and all the other fugitives
he's helped to escape.

Good job, Angels,
Bosley. Thanks, Charlie.

Bos, I'm sorry about Joan.

We all are, you know.

But four husbands?


Well, I guess she, uh,

ping-ponged them all to death.

Now that's our Bosley.

Uh, now that that
case is closed,

I'd like to discuss another
one. Sorry, Charlie, we can't.

I don't understand. Well, we have
a lunch date... a very important one.

That's right, we're gonna
cheer up an old friend.

Bosley... Charlie, I'm being
kidnapped, but don't try to save me.