Charlie's Angels (1976–1981): Season 2, Episode 8 - Angels on the Air - full transcript
When someone tries to kill a radio reporter who works in the field, she turns to Charlie for help. Charlie then decides to have one of the girls take her place and the one chosen is Kelly because her voice is almost similar to the reporter's. So while Kelly takes her place, the others try to figure out who's trying to kill her but it won't be easy since the reporter does dozens of stories at a given time.
Once upon a time,
there were three little girls
who went to the police academy,
two in Los Angeles...
the other in San Francisco,
and they were each assigned
very hazardous duties...
but I took them
away from all that,
and now they work for me.
My name is Charlie.
This is ZL 5883 to
ZL 114. Do you read?
This is ZL 114. Go ahead, Joy.
I'm at the assignment,
Gary, but nobody's here.
Are you sure you got
the right instructions?
The guy said Beamer
Park, South entrance.
I wrote it down. All right.
Well, let's stay in
open transmission.
I'm gonna get out
and take a look around.
Oww!
Angels, you've heard
Joy Vance's story.
The police have the bullet,
if we can find the gun to match.
You couldn't see anything?
No, it was too dark. Ha!
But, yesterday a man
phoned the station and said,
"Tell Vance she won't
live to regret that story,"
and then he hung up.
What story? JOY: I don't know!
I cover as many as 20
assignments in a week.
When you report on a story, Joy,
do you always meet
the people involved?
No. Sometimes I
do phone interviews.
And then, sometimes
when I'm on an investigation,
some of the people
involved won't talk to me.
So the people who
listen to you on the radio,
they don't know
what she looks like.
Charlie, if one of our
voices was similar to Joy's,
couldn't we make a switch
and fool the listeners?
Bosley, tell the Angels
what you've been doing
behind their backs.
Well, I secretly tape recorded
our meeting
earlier this morning,
and then I sent it over
to Joy's radio station.
Bosley, are you aware that
bugging is against the law?
Yeah, Bosley, people
in very high places
have found that it leads
to, uh, job insecurity.
Now, Angels, he was
only following my orders.
Go ahead, Bosley.
Well, anyway,
the radio engineers
made a comparison
of each of your
voices with Joy's.
And the winner is?
Kelly.
It might be extremely dangerous.
If you'd rather not do it...
Are you kidding?
The chance to be
a roving reporter?
The chance to broadcast
from one of those mobile units...
The chance to get caught
between a rock and a hard place.
Joy, is there a possibility
that somebody at the station
could be behind this?
I hate to think so.
But, I guess it
is a possibility.
In which case, then,
the telephone call
would be a red herring.
I've taken that into account.
As a matter of fact, you're all
going to be working for KBEX.
Kelly will replace Joy,
and Sabrina, I hope
you like heights.
You'll be assigned
to the helicopter.
Great.
Kris, you'll be
working undercover.
What about Bos?
My dear, you are looking
at KBEX's new News
Assignment Editor.
So, show a little respect.
Well, let's hope the
old saying holds true.
Which is?
No news is good news, Bosley.
Ohh!
Mr. Townsend asked me to
check you out on the equipment
and the procedures.
You see, I'm the only editor
who knows why you're really here.
Gary, Joy told us there's
somebody at the station
who might be a suspect.
Right. Let's go in Joy's office.
Oh, thank you.
You're welcome.
The suspect is Buck
Willis, the helicopter pilot.
Oh, terrific!
That's the guy I got to
spend two weeks with
up in that little
plastic bubble?
And at 5000 feet you'd
better keep him laughing.
The word "macho"
was invented for Buck.
He flew in Vietnam
before he came here.
So he got used to doing
his own announcing.
Weather, traffic and so on.
And then we put
Joy up there with him.
The audience loved her.
Has he ever threatened Joy?
Well, we've heard reports.
But of course, he
was drunk at the time.
Oh, well, he was drunk.
Anyway,
Joy has left the files out
for the most likely suspects.
Great.
Mr. Bosley, shall I
check you out first?
Oh, ah, Bosley's ready.
Oh, boy, is he ready.
Oh, yeah, the agency
may be a little dull after this.
Oh, Bosley, I hope we don't
lose you to Barbara Walters.
Oh ho ho ho!
You'll find the call letters
for each of our units, here.
And the assigned
frequencies are listed, here.
All you have to do is indicate
which frequency
you're going through
and then use normal
two-way radio procedures.
Assignment editor!
Gosh, I never dreamed
when I was working
on the college paper
that someday I would be
running an all-news radio station.
Did they have all-news
radio stations back then?
Dwayne Hanson.
Served 18 months in prison
for selling stolen
motorcycle parts.
Claims Joy Vance's
reports prejudiced the jury.
Threatened to kill her.
A reporter's life is
a laugh a minute.
Ah, wait, I got another one.
Professor Arthur Croyden
does research in immunology
at Western Pacific University.
Claims he's
developed an anti-toxin
against the common cold.
Joy did a follow-up, found a
half-dozen scientists who said
Croyden's work was
based on false data.
And the professor blamed Joy
for destroying his reputation?
You got it.
Oh, here's one I
might as well take
as long as I'm driving
around out there.
Ernie Quinlan.
He beats up his wife
when he gets bored.
Cute.
Let's see, Quinlan sued
Joy for invading his privacy.
Seems she interviewed
his wife in the hospital.
When it got thrown out of court,
Quinlan swore he'd get even.
He's gonna know
what Joy looks like.
Well, I'll tell him...
I'll tell him I'm a
follow-up reporter.
I want to get at this one.
Remember one thing,
no police brutality.
I'm not on the force anymore.
Kelly!
Well, I'm not!
Standard mobile unit equipment:
bullet-proof vest,
gas mask and so on.
Okay.
Oh, here, roll of dimes.
Just in case you
have to go "land line."
What line?
A fancy term for
phoning in your story.
Always, always
carry lots of dimes.
But there's a two-way
radio in the unit.
You just showed
me how to work it.
None of it's worth a damn
in certain parts of the city,
or in an underground
garage or a ravine.
There's no way you can reach us.
You mean, if I get into trouble.
Oh.
Any more questions?
Just one.
How about an opening
in the secretarial pool?
The blaze broke out at
approximately 9:30 a.m.
according to Fire
Captian Daryl Loftus.
By the time it was discovered
approximately half an hour later
it had spread rapidly
between the walls
and almost the whole
structure was involved.
The two victims died
of smoke inhalation
in the first few
minutes of panic.
The greatest danger for
the moment, we are told,
is a certain amount
of potentially explosive
plastic materials in
an adjacent building,
not as yet touched by the fire.
K-BEX, all-news
radio, editor's desk.
Tell Joy Vance
she won't live to
regret that story.
Tell her to get off the air.
Who is this? What story
are you talking about?
Because I won't
miss the next time.
Uh, wait a minute,
don't hang up.
I want to talk...
The police have already
had to make serveral arrests.
So, again, we ask
for your cooperation.
This is Joy Vance at
the scene of a major fire
in the city of Compton.
ZL 5883 this is ZL 114, over.
ZL 5883, over.
Kelly, we had a call.
It was a male voice.
Threatened to shoot Joy
if she didn't quit broadcasting.
I think we're dealing
with a psycho.
He could be listening, so I'd
get out of there if I was you.
Right. I'll check out
that wife-beater, Quinlan.
This is ZL 5883, clear.
Bosley, I'm at the
Quinlan house now.
Let's stay in open transmission.
Mrs. Quinlan?
Yes?
I'm with station KBEX
and I'd like to talk to you
regarding your husband.
I'm Father Palimbo.
Mr. Quinlan is dead.
Oh, uh, I'm sorry.
Was it sudden?
Very.
A hear attack. Two days ago.
May I ask why you
were interested?
I'm following up on a story
we did regarding their problems.
Mr. Quinlan threatened
one of our reporters.
I'm sure Mrs. Quinlan
will be just fine now.
Then, if you'll
excuse us... Yes.
Hello. Hi, there.
I'm Skye Larke. KBEX's
new girl-in-the-air.
Oh, yeah?
I thought maybe you
were Buck Rogers in drag.
You must be Buck Willis, right?
Would I lie to a girl like you?
Name your tune, honey, and
I'll make this thing dance for you.
Thank you.
Be careful getting in there.
I will. All right.
According to the boss,
we're supposed to take it
once around the freeways
and give the folks a bird's-eye
view of the fender-benders.
Ah! No sooner said than done.
And now to our KBEX news chopper
for weather and traffic.
What's it look like
up there, Skye Lark?
It's looking good,
Don, real good.
We got some high cloudiness
over the mountains and desert.
We can see it moving
in from the south.
Otherwise, it's going
to be a beautiful day.
Freeways are all
clear, no sigalerts.
Weather's behaving,
looks like those commuters
down there are behaving,
what more could you ask for?
How about Old
Buck, is he behaving?
Not always, that's why
I wear this parachute.
Okay! Thank you.
That's KBEX's
Skylark bringing you...
How'd I do?
Well, at least I didn't upchuck.
What a sweet thing to say.
I'll bet you didn't know
these things flew
upside-down, did you?
I don't care.
Oh, you chicks are all
alike! You just love it!
I love the ground!
Oh, you do?
We'll stop at my place.
Your place?
How else are we
gonna become friends?
I don't want to be friends.
Yes, I'd like to speak
with John Bosley, please.
He's the new editor.
Bos, hi, Kris. Yeah, I'm
out here near Chatsworth.
I'm going to check out
that guy, Dwayne Hanson.
You know, the motorcycle jockey
that said Joy prejudiced
the jury against him.
Yeah.
Hey, you know I'll be careful.
Right. I'll check
with you in about,
oh, say three hours.
Right. Bye-bye.
Sign says no trespassing!
Hey, man, I didn't see no sign.
That's a point in
your favor, baby,
because there isn't any.
We folks don't want any
dopers around here, dig?
I'm looking for a dude
named Dwayne Hanson.
You got the privilege.
My name's Kris Munroe.
Uh, my hog broke down.
Listen, I understand that
you sell parts, Dwayne.
Real cheap too.
You're thinking of the
old Dwayne Hanson. B.R.
Before Rehabilitation.
Oh, man, come on,
give me a break, will you?
My old man cuts out on
me, my hog breaks down.
It's the pits, you
know what I mean?
She's trouble, Dwayne.
I can smell it!
Okay, okay, look. Just...
Just take a look at
my bike and tell me
if you think I can make
it the way it is, will you?
Dwayne, you know
who's coming here today.
She gets in the way
she blows the whole deal.
Cool it, Raven! We'll be
ready when the folks get here.
Raven's blood runs a
little hot sometimes...
but that ain't all bad, is it?
I can dig it.
Yeah, hot-blooded woman
on a cold-running bike.
There ought to be a
song in there somewhere.
I'm hunting up some
lunch meat for my family.
You tag along and
maybe we'll figure a way
to make your engine
purr like a kitten.
Well, it just needs
the right man to tune it.
I like your thinking.
You people get things
ready for the folks.
This woman and me is
gonna take a little walk
and discuss hogs and
other cosmic matters.
Welcome to the castle, baby.
It may not be
large, but it's... nice.
Do you always stop here when
you have a flight assignment?
Only when I'm thirsty, baby.
And right now I got
a powerful thirst on.
Oh, boy.
You're not afraid of
me, are you, honey?
Oh, no, no, no, no.
Little bit afraid of
your "powerful thirst."
Like it?
Uh, wh... Well, uh...
It's really you.
This what you're looking for?
This little baby is
probably the kind of weapon
somebody used on Joy.
It's what you want, isn't it?
Um...
I don't know what
you're talking about.
You are not a reporter.
You're some kind
of cop, aren't you?
I don't know why you say that.
I've been in
trouble a few times.
Oh...
Okay, uh...
Did you try to kill her?
Why don't you come
and judge for yourself?
Why don't you put the gun away?
When I'm finished with
it, then I'll put it away.
Come on.
Uh...
Come on. Yeah.
Convinced?
Of what?
If I'd wanted to kill
Joy it'd be done.
No sweat.
What if you wanted
to threaten her?
Look, I don't know what
made you suspect me,
but if I can guess, it's some
old lady down at the station
doesn't like the way I
been carrying on, probably.
Anyway, Joy and me,
we had some laughs
and when she fluffed me off,
I guess I did get
a little hacked.
How about her success
at doing your job,
didn't that make
you a little jealous?
Sure, it bothered
me. This is all I do.
If she could fly, they'd
have given her the chopper.
So, I got drunk and I said
a few nasty angry things
but I did not say
that I would kill her.
I will tell you this, lady,
after what I saw in 'Nam
I live and I let
live. That's it.
You have any idea
who is trying to kill her?
Some crackpot, that's for sure.
Here's something else.
What's that?
It's what you came
here for, wasn't it?
You want to check the slugs
from my gun against the one
they dug out of Joy's
mobile unit, right?
Why are you so good to me?
Because maybe
you'll be good to me.
In this crazy universe,
how come you knew
where to find me?
Heard you on the radio, KBEX.
You and that
reporter, Joy Vance.
That was the old
Dwayne Hanson, all right.
Unregenerated criminal.
I told her that if she
stuck that mike up my nose
one more time,
I was gonna strangle
her with the cord.
I damn near did too.
Hold it!
What is it?
A rabbit.
Right...
over there.
Missed. Light was bad.
Well, there goes lunch.
There's another
one! I'll get him!
Hey, weren't you telling me
that you catch all
the food that y'all eat?
Well... we got a lot
of canned goods too.
Well, that's really too bad.
Because I've got a
recipe for rabbit stew
that would curl your toes.
Woman, you don't need
rabbit stew to curl my toes.
Uh...
And you don't need a
gun to make a move on me.
It's our karma.
Dwayne, lunch first.
First my toes.
But, my karma isn't ready yet!
You're not listening to it.
It's like I told you, I'm
a blood-boiling man
and you're setting
my plasma on fire!
Dwayne, I'm warning you...
Woman, you're turning me on!
Hold it right there!
She lied to us. She's a fake.
I think maybe she's a cop.
Okay, woman... march.
You're a big disappointment
to me, Matilda.
Or whatever your name is.
I had transcendental
plans for us.
Look, I told you, my
name is Kris Munroe.
I'm telling you the truth.
We checked you out.
That hog you're riding
is rented, rent-ted.
You are giving off false vibes.
Okay. Look, I'm a
reporter for KBEX.
I'm doing a follow-up story.
Call the station if
you don't believe me.
Then that Vance woman sent you
because she was afraid
to come herself. Right?
Something like that.
Joy Vance! Do you hear that?
You tell that lost soul
she's got nothing to fear
from Dwayne Hanson.
You mean you're
not angry with her?
Angry!
She made me famous!
The more she talked
about me on the radio,
the more she did
me a favor, baby!
From petty rip-off
artist to master criminal!
She raised my consciousness!
Now everybody's
tuned in to the new me!
Who's everybody?
Film-makers, that's who!
Hollywood!
Me and my family are
gonna be in a documentary.
Hell, we're gonna
be the documentary!
It's cosmic!
Hey, Dwayne, they're here!
They want to talk
about wardrobe.
Whoo-hoo!
Listen, Buck Willis' gun
did not fire that bullet they
dug out of Joy's mobile unit.
Yeah, well, for Mr. Macho,
he's not such a bad guy.
Here's suspect number four.
Ah, yes, Dr. Arthur Croyden.
Mm-hm.
The one with the so-called
cure for the common cold.
Yeah, you know I listened to
Joy's phone interview with him.
He, uh...
well, about the nicest
thing he said was
he wanted to wrap a
ski pole around her neck.
Oh, peachy fellow!
Yeah, it seems he's
a championship skier.
Runs five miles a day
to keep his legs in shape.
Where does he hang out
when he gets out of the parka?
He has a lab at Western
Pacific University.
You know...
I got a couple of hours
before I have to go up again.
So, you are about
to matriculate.
Mm. Oh, no. I told my
mother I'd never do that.
But I may run around
with him a little.
Bye-bye.
Here you are. Professor Croyden?
Uh, I'm Sabrina Duncan.
I'm a graduate
student at Winslow.
I was told I would
find you here.
You found me.
Yeah, well, uh...
I have been studying
your papers, professor.
You see, my field is immunology.
I would like very
much to work with you.
We don't have any
openings, Miss Duncan.
How about as a volunteer?
I mean, I practically worked
my way through college
as a human guinea pig.
Then you're aware of the risks.
Yes. I've already signed all the
necessary legal release forms.
Your nurse is the one who
told me where you were.
In science
we are always searching
for the truth, Miss Duncan.
But we never
know if we'll find it.
Well, I'm searching for
the truth too, professor,
and I expect to find it.
Be in my office after
five this afternoon.
Yes, sir.
Uh, thank you.
ZL 114, this is ZL 5883, over.
ZL 5883, this is ZL
114. What's up, Kelly?
I'm at the location you gave
me for the liquor store holdup.
Are you sure the caller said
Marshall Road and Highway 17.
Yes, I wrote it down.
He even repeated it.
There's not a liquor
store within a mile.
I'm way out in the
boondocks, Bosley.
Kelly, this could be a
trap! Get out of there!
Count on it!
Bosley, somebody's
after me. He's got a gun.
Kelly, where are you now?
Give me your direction.
Victor Avenue. Headed east.
Bosley, can you hear me?
Kelly. Kelly?
Do you read me, over!
Bosley, can you hear me?
Kelly, are you
there? Come in, Kelly!
What's the matter?
Someone's after
Kelly. It was a trap.
Where is she?
That's just it. I just
lost radio contact!
She was at Marshall
Road and Highway 17
and then east on Victor.
East on Victor.
Okay, Bosley, you
contact the police.
I'll get up in the chopper.
You call me. Radio me.
Tell me her location, right?
Right.
Want to show me
how good you are?
Sure. Come on!
Bosley, can you read me?
I'm on Highway 17 headed south!
Can you read me? I'm on
Highway 17, headed south.
Bosley, can you hear me?
Kelly, it's Bree in the chopper.
We read you. We're on the way.
Buck, there!
I'll get him! Ha ha!
He's crazy!
Get him, Buck! Get him!
Run, Kelly!
Whoa!
You all right?
Yeah, I'm fine. Did he get away?
Yeah, it's okay, we
got his license number.
You sure you're okay?
I'm fine, I'm fine.
Hey, didn't the Bionic
Man get started this way?
I don't know. Come
on. Anything hurt?
No, I'm okay.
All right. Come on.
Hello.
Are you all right? Well...
Did he hurt you? We
heard the car smashed up.
No, I'm fine, really.
Hot shower and I'll be like new.
Did you get anything
on the license number
that we radioed in? No luck.
The car was reported
stolen this morning.
Oh, I thought we had something.
Well, the police said
they'd give us a full report
as soon as they
put it all together.
Uh, look, you guys are going
to have to debrief without me.
I've got to meet Professor
Croyden at the University.
Look, Bree, in the light
of what's just happened,
don't you think we
ought to pull back a little,
until we make sense
out of this thing.
Listen, Bosley, don't
worry about it, okay?
I know what I'm do...
Oh, I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
I know what I'm doing.
The exact words spoken by
the captain of the Hindenberg.
Be careful!
You okay? Would
you like some coffee?
No, maybe some water.
All right.
Hello, I'm Sabrina
Duncan. I was here earlier.
Oh, yes. The doctor
was doing his running.
Yes. I'll tell him.
Uh, Ms. Duncan is here.
Yes, sir. He'll
be right with you.
Thanks. Should I take a seat?
What about that Hanson
guy you were checking out
in your little motorcycle boots?
Oh, I have a souvenir for you
from the Dwayne Hanson Fan Club,
of which I am not
exactly the president.
He's in the clear.
The slugs don't match.
Not even close.
Besides, Dwayne's too
worried about his film career
to think about little things
like attempted murder.
Who else is on the list?
Hello, KBEX.
Oh, yes, yes, lieutenant.
Where?
Oh, yes, well, thank you.
Yes, thank you very much.
What is it, Bos?
Oh, just a few details
on the stolen car.
It was taken at
9:45 this morning.
The owner is a
Gerald M. Bradford.
He's a student at
Western Pacific University.
Where Doctor
Croyden has his lab.
The nice man who
threatened to wrap a ski pole
around Joy's throat.
He's a skier,
and the guy who chased
me was wearing a ski mask.
Yeah, but, Kelly, so do half
of the stickup men in this town.
Yeah, but nevertheless,
as we sit here talking,
he's about to put a
needle in Sabrina's arm.
Now, do we want to take
the chance that he's okay?
No, I think we'd
better get out there.
If we're wrong, we'll apologize.
Right.
A graduate student at
Winslow majoring in biology?
Ah, yes, sir.
I'd like to do my master's
thesis on your experiments.
The grease job isn't
necessary, Ms. Duncan.
Uh, well... I... You
know Professor Atkins?
Professor Atkins?
William Atkins, in the Biology
Department at Winslow.
No, sir, I'm sorry.
I'm afraid I don't.
How could you? He doesn't exist.
Oh.
But you do know
Dr. Charles Spencer?
Dr. Spencer, yes. Well,
I know of Dr. Spencer.
I haven't had any
classes under him.
I take my experiments
very seriously, Miss Duncan.
Yes, sir, I'm sure you do.
I want volunteers
who share my concern
for the advancement of science.
Not shallow,
self-serving opportunists.
Well, if you're
suggesting that I...
I'm suggesting nothing.
Roll up your sleeve, please.
Sure.
I am really... I'm so
dizzy. I'm really very dizzy.
Lie down, just lie down.
Oh, does it always...
It's the serum. Mm-hm.
Just answer my questions, now.
Why are you doing that?
To keep you from falling off.
Oh, it's your cold serum...
Uh-huh... Mm-hm.
I didn't give you my
serum, Miss Duncan.
I injected you with
sodium pentathol.
Truth serum.
Why?
Because you lied to me.
You're not a student
at Winslow College.
Charles Spencer
is my accountant.
I didn't mean to...
Now, you won't lie.
Who are you and
what do you want?
So, you think I tried
to kill Joy Vance?
Mm-hm.
Did you... Did
you tell the police?
Huh?
Did you tell the police?
No... Why not?
Not enough evidence.
Do you know what
happens when air bubbles
are injected into the blood
stream, Miss Duncan?
Huh? Huh?
Did you... try to
kill Joy Vance?
Twice.
The March Foundation was
going to give me a $200,000 grant
to further my work.
She ruined it.
You never killed anybody.
Hello, I'm Andrew March,
of the March Foundation.
I'd like to see
Dr. Croyden. It's urgent.
I beg your pardon.
I know Mr. March. He's
come here several times.
Look, I'm not
Andrew March either,
but you'd better take
us to Croyden right now.
It's an emergency.
Who are you, what do you want?
Come on, this way!
You can't go in there. Don't!
It's locked.
Can you hear anything?
Yes. What?
Well, who are they?
No, don't call the police!
You're Doctor Croyden?
That's right. What
are you doing in here?
Where's Sabrina Duncan?
Get out or I'll call the police!
Do it! We'd love it.
Stop waltzing us around,
Croyden. Where is she?
Ah! Help!
You okay?
Yeah. Uh-huh.
Sure you're all right? Uh-huh.
Don't move.
I don't think you have to worry.
So Joy's broadcast
exposing Professor Croyden
cost him literally $200,000
in research grants.
So his motive was revenge.
Mm-hm.
I hope you know, Charlie, that
my motive in doing this story
was to bring out the truth.
Of course, Joy, and
it's a good thing you did.
Apparently the university
had put him on notice also.
They weren't
renewing his contract.
So he was gonna
lose his lab facilities.
You have to admit, Charlie,
that could make you a bit peevish.
What's this I hear about
Kelly the track star?
Actually, that part
of it was fun, Charlie.
Oh, Charlie, listen
you should've seen her.
She was wonderful. She ran
that guy right into the ground!
She runs just like a man.
Oh, really?
You mean she runs
like you run, Bosley?
Oh, well, no. Not exactly.
I mean I'm not your
typical male runner.
Look, I'm paid to
think. Not to run.
Oh, I see. Then
you think like a man.
Right? Mm?
Well, yes! I mean of course.
Does Kelly think like a man?
No.
Well, I mean she... Charlie?
Kelly, do you think like a
man or just run like a man?
Charlie?
Help!
Bosley, you're on your own!
Oh.
Oh, my gosh, I
think I better run.
there were three little girls
who went to the police academy,
two in Los Angeles...
the other in San Francisco,
and they were each assigned
very hazardous duties...
but I took them
away from all that,
and now they work for me.
My name is Charlie.
This is ZL 5883 to
ZL 114. Do you read?
This is ZL 114. Go ahead, Joy.
I'm at the assignment,
Gary, but nobody's here.
Are you sure you got
the right instructions?
The guy said Beamer
Park, South entrance.
I wrote it down. All right.
Well, let's stay in
open transmission.
I'm gonna get out
and take a look around.
Oww!
Angels, you've heard
Joy Vance's story.
The police have the bullet,
if we can find the gun to match.
You couldn't see anything?
No, it was too dark. Ha!
But, yesterday a man
phoned the station and said,
"Tell Vance she won't
live to regret that story,"
and then he hung up.
What story? JOY: I don't know!
I cover as many as 20
assignments in a week.
When you report on a story, Joy,
do you always meet
the people involved?
No. Sometimes I
do phone interviews.
And then, sometimes
when I'm on an investigation,
some of the people
involved won't talk to me.
So the people who
listen to you on the radio,
they don't know
what she looks like.
Charlie, if one of our
voices was similar to Joy's,
couldn't we make a switch
and fool the listeners?
Bosley, tell the Angels
what you've been doing
behind their backs.
Well, I secretly tape recorded
our meeting
earlier this morning,
and then I sent it over
to Joy's radio station.
Bosley, are you aware that
bugging is against the law?
Yeah, Bosley, people
in very high places
have found that it leads
to, uh, job insecurity.
Now, Angels, he was
only following my orders.
Go ahead, Bosley.
Well, anyway,
the radio engineers
made a comparison
of each of your
voices with Joy's.
And the winner is?
Kelly.
It might be extremely dangerous.
If you'd rather not do it...
Are you kidding?
The chance to be
a roving reporter?
The chance to broadcast
from one of those mobile units...
The chance to get caught
between a rock and a hard place.
Joy, is there a possibility
that somebody at the station
could be behind this?
I hate to think so.
But, I guess it
is a possibility.
In which case, then,
the telephone call
would be a red herring.
I've taken that into account.
As a matter of fact, you're all
going to be working for KBEX.
Kelly will replace Joy,
and Sabrina, I hope
you like heights.
You'll be assigned
to the helicopter.
Great.
Kris, you'll be
working undercover.
What about Bos?
My dear, you are looking
at KBEX's new News
Assignment Editor.
So, show a little respect.
Well, let's hope the
old saying holds true.
Which is?
No news is good news, Bosley.
Ohh!
Mr. Townsend asked me to
check you out on the equipment
and the procedures.
You see, I'm the only editor
who knows why you're really here.
Gary, Joy told us there's
somebody at the station
who might be a suspect.
Right. Let's go in Joy's office.
Oh, thank you.
You're welcome.
The suspect is Buck
Willis, the helicopter pilot.
Oh, terrific!
That's the guy I got to
spend two weeks with
up in that little
plastic bubble?
And at 5000 feet you'd
better keep him laughing.
The word "macho"
was invented for Buck.
He flew in Vietnam
before he came here.
So he got used to doing
his own announcing.
Weather, traffic and so on.
And then we put
Joy up there with him.
The audience loved her.
Has he ever threatened Joy?
Well, we've heard reports.
But of course, he
was drunk at the time.
Oh, well, he was drunk.
Anyway,
Joy has left the files out
for the most likely suspects.
Great.
Mr. Bosley, shall I
check you out first?
Oh, ah, Bosley's ready.
Oh, boy, is he ready.
Oh, yeah, the agency
may be a little dull after this.
Oh, Bosley, I hope we don't
lose you to Barbara Walters.
Oh ho ho ho!
You'll find the call letters
for each of our units, here.
And the assigned
frequencies are listed, here.
All you have to do is indicate
which frequency
you're going through
and then use normal
two-way radio procedures.
Assignment editor!
Gosh, I never dreamed
when I was working
on the college paper
that someday I would be
running an all-news radio station.
Did they have all-news
radio stations back then?
Dwayne Hanson.
Served 18 months in prison
for selling stolen
motorcycle parts.
Claims Joy Vance's
reports prejudiced the jury.
Threatened to kill her.
A reporter's life is
a laugh a minute.
Ah, wait, I got another one.
Professor Arthur Croyden
does research in immunology
at Western Pacific University.
Claims he's
developed an anti-toxin
against the common cold.
Joy did a follow-up, found a
half-dozen scientists who said
Croyden's work was
based on false data.
And the professor blamed Joy
for destroying his reputation?
You got it.
Oh, here's one I
might as well take
as long as I'm driving
around out there.
Ernie Quinlan.
He beats up his wife
when he gets bored.
Cute.
Let's see, Quinlan sued
Joy for invading his privacy.
Seems she interviewed
his wife in the hospital.
When it got thrown out of court,
Quinlan swore he'd get even.
He's gonna know
what Joy looks like.
Well, I'll tell him...
I'll tell him I'm a
follow-up reporter.
I want to get at this one.
Remember one thing,
no police brutality.
I'm not on the force anymore.
Kelly!
Well, I'm not!
Standard mobile unit equipment:
bullet-proof vest,
gas mask and so on.
Okay.
Oh, here, roll of dimes.
Just in case you
have to go "land line."
What line?
A fancy term for
phoning in your story.
Always, always
carry lots of dimes.
But there's a two-way
radio in the unit.
You just showed
me how to work it.
None of it's worth a damn
in certain parts of the city,
or in an underground
garage or a ravine.
There's no way you can reach us.
You mean, if I get into trouble.
Oh.
Any more questions?
Just one.
How about an opening
in the secretarial pool?
The blaze broke out at
approximately 9:30 a.m.
according to Fire
Captian Daryl Loftus.
By the time it was discovered
approximately half an hour later
it had spread rapidly
between the walls
and almost the whole
structure was involved.
The two victims died
of smoke inhalation
in the first few
minutes of panic.
The greatest danger for
the moment, we are told,
is a certain amount
of potentially explosive
plastic materials in
an adjacent building,
not as yet touched by the fire.
K-BEX, all-news
radio, editor's desk.
Tell Joy Vance
she won't live to
regret that story.
Tell her to get off the air.
Who is this? What story
are you talking about?
Because I won't
miss the next time.
Uh, wait a minute,
don't hang up.
I want to talk...
The police have already
had to make serveral arrests.
So, again, we ask
for your cooperation.
This is Joy Vance at
the scene of a major fire
in the city of Compton.
ZL 5883 this is ZL 114, over.
ZL 5883, over.
Kelly, we had a call.
It was a male voice.
Threatened to shoot Joy
if she didn't quit broadcasting.
I think we're dealing
with a psycho.
He could be listening, so I'd
get out of there if I was you.
Right. I'll check out
that wife-beater, Quinlan.
This is ZL 5883, clear.
Bosley, I'm at the
Quinlan house now.
Let's stay in open transmission.
Mrs. Quinlan?
Yes?
I'm with station KBEX
and I'd like to talk to you
regarding your husband.
I'm Father Palimbo.
Mr. Quinlan is dead.
Oh, uh, I'm sorry.
Was it sudden?
Very.
A hear attack. Two days ago.
May I ask why you
were interested?
I'm following up on a story
we did regarding their problems.
Mr. Quinlan threatened
one of our reporters.
I'm sure Mrs. Quinlan
will be just fine now.
Then, if you'll
excuse us... Yes.
Hello. Hi, there.
I'm Skye Larke. KBEX's
new girl-in-the-air.
Oh, yeah?
I thought maybe you
were Buck Rogers in drag.
You must be Buck Willis, right?
Would I lie to a girl like you?
Name your tune, honey, and
I'll make this thing dance for you.
Thank you.
Be careful getting in there.
I will. All right.
According to the boss,
we're supposed to take it
once around the freeways
and give the folks a bird's-eye
view of the fender-benders.
Ah! No sooner said than done.
And now to our KBEX news chopper
for weather and traffic.
What's it look like
up there, Skye Lark?
It's looking good,
Don, real good.
We got some high cloudiness
over the mountains and desert.
We can see it moving
in from the south.
Otherwise, it's going
to be a beautiful day.
Freeways are all
clear, no sigalerts.
Weather's behaving,
looks like those commuters
down there are behaving,
what more could you ask for?
How about Old
Buck, is he behaving?
Not always, that's why
I wear this parachute.
Okay! Thank you.
That's KBEX's
Skylark bringing you...
How'd I do?
Well, at least I didn't upchuck.
What a sweet thing to say.
I'll bet you didn't know
these things flew
upside-down, did you?
I don't care.
Oh, you chicks are all
alike! You just love it!
I love the ground!
Oh, you do?
We'll stop at my place.
Your place?
How else are we
gonna become friends?
I don't want to be friends.
Yes, I'd like to speak
with John Bosley, please.
He's the new editor.
Bos, hi, Kris. Yeah, I'm
out here near Chatsworth.
I'm going to check out
that guy, Dwayne Hanson.
You know, the motorcycle jockey
that said Joy prejudiced
the jury against him.
Yeah.
Hey, you know I'll be careful.
Right. I'll check
with you in about,
oh, say three hours.
Right. Bye-bye.
Sign says no trespassing!
Hey, man, I didn't see no sign.
That's a point in
your favor, baby,
because there isn't any.
We folks don't want any
dopers around here, dig?
I'm looking for a dude
named Dwayne Hanson.
You got the privilege.
My name's Kris Munroe.
Uh, my hog broke down.
Listen, I understand that
you sell parts, Dwayne.
Real cheap too.
You're thinking of the
old Dwayne Hanson. B.R.
Before Rehabilitation.
Oh, man, come on,
give me a break, will you?
My old man cuts out on
me, my hog breaks down.
It's the pits, you
know what I mean?
She's trouble, Dwayne.
I can smell it!
Okay, okay, look. Just...
Just take a look at
my bike and tell me
if you think I can make
it the way it is, will you?
Dwayne, you know
who's coming here today.
She gets in the way
she blows the whole deal.
Cool it, Raven! We'll be
ready when the folks get here.
Raven's blood runs a
little hot sometimes...
but that ain't all bad, is it?
I can dig it.
Yeah, hot-blooded woman
on a cold-running bike.
There ought to be a
song in there somewhere.
I'm hunting up some
lunch meat for my family.
You tag along and
maybe we'll figure a way
to make your engine
purr like a kitten.
Well, it just needs
the right man to tune it.
I like your thinking.
You people get things
ready for the folks.
This woman and me is
gonna take a little walk
and discuss hogs and
other cosmic matters.
Welcome to the castle, baby.
It may not be
large, but it's... nice.
Do you always stop here when
you have a flight assignment?
Only when I'm thirsty, baby.
And right now I got
a powerful thirst on.
Oh, boy.
You're not afraid of
me, are you, honey?
Oh, no, no, no, no.
Little bit afraid of
your "powerful thirst."
Like it?
Uh, wh... Well, uh...
It's really you.
This what you're looking for?
This little baby is
probably the kind of weapon
somebody used on Joy.
It's what you want, isn't it?
Um...
I don't know what
you're talking about.
You are not a reporter.
You're some kind
of cop, aren't you?
I don't know why you say that.
I've been in
trouble a few times.
Oh...
Okay, uh...
Did you try to kill her?
Why don't you come
and judge for yourself?
Why don't you put the gun away?
When I'm finished with
it, then I'll put it away.
Come on.
Uh...
Come on. Yeah.
Convinced?
Of what?
If I'd wanted to kill
Joy it'd be done.
No sweat.
What if you wanted
to threaten her?
Look, I don't know what
made you suspect me,
but if I can guess, it's some
old lady down at the station
doesn't like the way I
been carrying on, probably.
Anyway, Joy and me,
we had some laughs
and when she fluffed me off,
I guess I did get
a little hacked.
How about her success
at doing your job,
didn't that make
you a little jealous?
Sure, it bothered
me. This is all I do.
If she could fly, they'd
have given her the chopper.
So, I got drunk and I said
a few nasty angry things
but I did not say
that I would kill her.
I will tell you this, lady,
after what I saw in 'Nam
I live and I let
live. That's it.
You have any idea
who is trying to kill her?
Some crackpot, that's for sure.
Here's something else.
What's that?
It's what you came
here for, wasn't it?
You want to check the slugs
from my gun against the one
they dug out of Joy's
mobile unit, right?
Why are you so good to me?
Because maybe
you'll be good to me.
In this crazy universe,
how come you knew
where to find me?
Heard you on the radio, KBEX.
You and that
reporter, Joy Vance.
That was the old
Dwayne Hanson, all right.
Unregenerated criminal.
I told her that if she
stuck that mike up my nose
one more time,
I was gonna strangle
her with the cord.
I damn near did too.
Hold it!
What is it?
A rabbit.
Right...
over there.
Missed. Light was bad.
Well, there goes lunch.
There's another
one! I'll get him!
Hey, weren't you telling me
that you catch all
the food that y'all eat?
Well... we got a lot
of canned goods too.
Well, that's really too bad.
Because I've got a
recipe for rabbit stew
that would curl your toes.
Woman, you don't need
rabbit stew to curl my toes.
Uh...
And you don't need a
gun to make a move on me.
It's our karma.
Dwayne, lunch first.
First my toes.
But, my karma isn't ready yet!
You're not listening to it.
It's like I told you, I'm
a blood-boiling man
and you're setting
my plasma on fire!
Dwayne, I'm warning you...
Woman, you're turning me on!
Hold it right there!
She lied to us. She's a fake.
I think maybe she's a cop.
Okay, woman... march.
You're a big disappointment
to me, Matilda.
Or whatever your name is.
I had transcendental
plans for us.
Look, I told you, my
name is Kris Munroe.
I'm telling you the truth.
We checked you out.
That hog you're riding
is rented, rent-ted.
You are giving off false vibes.
Okay. Look, I'm a
reporter for KBEX.
I'm doing a follow-up story.
Call the station if
you don't believe me.
Then that Vance woman sent you
because she was afraid
to come herself. Right?
Something like that.
Joy Vance! Do you hear that?
You tell that lost soul
she's got nothing to fear
from Dwayne Hanson.
You mean you're
not angry with her?
Angry!
She made me famous!
The more she talked
about me on the radio,
the more she did
me a favor, baby!
From petty rip-off
artist to master criminal!
She raised my consciousness!
Now everybody's
tuned in to the new me!
Who's everybody?
Film-makers, that's who!
Hollywood!
Me and my family are
gonna be in a documentary.
Hell, we're gonna
be the documentary!
It's cosmic!
Hey, Dwayne, they're here!
They want to talk
about wardrobe.
Whoo-hoo!
Listen, Buck Willis' gun
did not fire that bullet they
dug out of Joy's mobile unit.
Yeah, well, for Mr. Macho,
he's not such a bad guy.
Here's suspect number four.
Ah, yes, Dr. Arthur Croyden.
Mm-hm.
The one with the so-called
cure for the common cold.
Yeah, you know I listened to
Joy's phone interview with him.
He, uh...
well, about the nicest
thing he said was
he wanted to wrap a
ski pole around her neck.
Oh, peachy fellow!
Yeah, it seems he's
a championship skier.
Runs five miles a day
to keep his legs in shape.
Where does he hang out
when he gets out of the parka?
He has a lab at Western
Pacific University.
You know...
I got a couple of hours
before I have to go up again.
So, you are about
to matriculate.
Mm. Oh, no. I told my
mother I'd never do that.
But I may run around
with him a little.
Bye-bye.
Here you are. Professor Croyden?
Uh, I'm Sabrina Duncan.
I'm a graduate
student at Winslow.
I was told I would
find you here.
You found me.
Yeah, well, uh...
I have been studying
your papers, professor.
You see, my field is immunology.
I would like very
much to work with you.
We don't have any
openings, Miss Duncan.
How about as a volunteer?
I mean, I practically worked
my way through college
as a human guinea pig.
Then you're aware of the risks.
Yes. I've already signed all the
necessary legal release forms.
Your nurse is the one who
told me where you were.
In science
we are always searching
for the truth, Miss Duncan.
But we never
know if we'll find it.
Well, I'm searching for
the truth too, professor,
and I expect to find it.
Be in my office after
five this afternoon.
Yes, sir.
Uh, thank you.
ZL 114, this is ZL 5883, over.
ZL 5883, this is ZL
114. What's up, Kelly?
I'm at the location you gave
me for the liquor store holdup.
Are you sure the caller said
Marshall Road and Highway 17.
Yes, I wrote it down.
He even repeated it.
There's not a liquor
store within a mile.
I'm way out in the
boondocks, Bosley.
Kelly, this could be a
trap! Get out of there!
Count on it!
Bosley, somebody's
after me. He's got a gun.
Kelly, where are you now?
Give me your direction.
Victor Avenue. Headed east.
Bosley, can you hear me?
Kelly. Kelly?
Do you read me, over!
Bosley, can you hear me?
Kelly, are you
there? Come in, Kelly!
What's the matter?
Someone's after
Kelly. It was a trap.
Where is she?
That's just it. I just
lost radio contact!
She was at Marshall
Road and Highway 17
and then east on Victor.
East on Victor.
Okay, Bosley, you
contact the police.
I'll get up in the chopper.
You call me. Radio me.
Tell me her location, right?
Right.
Want to show me
how good you are?
Sure. Come on!
Bosley, can you read me?
I'm on Highway 17 headed south!
Can you read me? I'm on
Highway 17, headed south.
Bosley, can you hear me?
Kelly, it's Bree in the chopper.
We read you. We're on the way.
Buck, there!
I'll get him! Ha ha!
He's crazy!
Get him, Buck! Get him!
Run, Kelly!
Whoa!
You all right?
Yeah, I'm fine. Did he get away?
Yeah, it's okay, we
got his license number.
You sure you're okay?
I'm fine, I'm fine.
Hey, didn't the Bionic
Man get started this way?
I don't know. Come
on. Anything hurt?
No, I'm okay.
All right. Come on.
Hello.
Are you all right? Well...
Did he hurt you? We
heard the car smashed up.
No, I'm fine, really.
Hot shower and I'll be like new.
Did you get anything
on the license number
that we radioed in? No luck.
The car was reported
stolen this morning.
Oh, I thought we had something.
Well, the police said
they'd give us a full report
as soon as they
put it all together.
Uh, look, you guys are going
to have to debrief without me.
I've got to meet Professor
Croyden at the University.
Look, Bree, in the light
of what's just happened,
don't you think we
ought to pull back a little,
until we make sense
out of this thing.
Listen, Bosley, don't
worry about it, okay?
I know what I'm do...
Oh, I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
I know what I'm doing.
The exact words spoken by
the captain of the Hindenberg.
Be careful!
You okay? Would
you like some coffee?
No, maybe some water.
All right.
Hello, I'm Sabrina
Duncan. I was here earlier.
Oh, yes. The doctor
was doing his running.
Yes. I'll tell him.
Uh, Ms. Duncan is here.
Yes, sir. He'll
be right with you.
Thanks. Should I take a seat?
What about that Hanson
guy you were checking out
in your little motorcycle boots?
Oh, I have a souvenir for you
from the Dwayne Hanson Fan Club,
of which I am not
exactly the president.
He's in the clear.
The slugs don't match.
Not even close.
Besides, Dwayne's too
worried about his film career
to think about little things
like attempted murder.
Who else is on the list?
Hello, KBEX.
Oh, yes, yes, lieutenant.
Where?
Oh, yes, well, thank you.
Yes, thank you very much.
What is it, Bos?
Oh, just a few details
on the stolen car.
It was taken at
9:45 this morning.
The owner is a
Gerald M. Bradford.
He's a student at
Western Pacific University.
Where Doctor
Croyden has his lab.
The nice man who
threatened to wrap a ski pole
around Joy's throat.
He's a skier,
and the guy who chased
me was wearing a ski mask.
Yeah, but, Kelly, so do half
of the stickup men in this town.
Yeah, but nevertheless,
as we sit here talking,
he's about to put a
needle in Sabrina's arm.
Now, do we want to take
the chance that he's okay?
No, I think we'd
better get out there.
If we're wrong, we'll apologize.
Right.
A graduate student at
Winslow majoring in biology?
Ah, yes, sir.
I'd like to do my master's
thesis on your experiments.
The grease job isn't
necessary, Ms. Duncan.
Uh, well... I... You
know Professor Atkins?
Professor Atkins?
William Atkins, in the Biology
Department at Winslow.
No, sir, I'm sorry.
I'm afraid I don't.
How could you? He doesn't exist.
Oh.
But you do know
Dr. Charles Spencer?
Dr. Spencer, yes. Well,
I know of Dr. Spencer.
I haven't had any
classes under him.
I take my experiments
very seriously, Miss Duncan.
Yes, sir, I'm sure you do.
I want volunteers
who share my concern
for the advancement of science.
Not shallow,
self-serving opportunists.
Well, if you're
suggesting that I...
I'm suggesting nothing.
Roll up your sleeve, please.
Sure.
I am really... I'm so
dizzy. I'm really very dizzy.
Lie down, just lie down.
Oh, does it always...
It's the serum. Mm-hm.
Just answer my questions, now.
Why are you doing that?
To keep you from falling off.
Oh, it's your cold serum...
Uh-huh... Mm-hm.
I didn't give you my
serum, Miss Duncan.
I injected you with
sodium pentathol.
Truth serum.
Why?
Because you lied to me.
You're not a student
at Winslow College.
Charles Spencer
is my accountant.
I didn't mean to...
Now, you won't lie.
Who are you and
what do you want?
So, you think I tried
to kill Joy Vance?
Mm-hm.
Did you... Did
you tell the police?
Huh?
Did you tell the police?
No... Why not?
Not enough evidence.
Do you know what
happens when air bubbles
are injected into the blood
stream, Miss Duncan?
Huh? Huh?
Did you... try to
kill Joy Vance?
Twice.
The March Foundation was
going to give me a $200,000 grant
to further my work.
She ruined it.
You never killed anybody.
Hello, I'm Andrew March,
of the March Foundation.
I'd like to see
Dr. Croyden. It's urgent.
I beg your pardon.
I know Mr. March. He's
come here several times.
Look, I'm not
Andrew March either,
but you'd better take
us to Croyden right now.
It's an emergency.
Who are you, what do you want?
Come on, this way!
You can't go in there. Don't!
It's locked.
Can you hear anything?
Yes. What?
Well, who are they?
No, don't call the police!
You're Doctor Croyden?
That's right. What
are you doing in here?
Where's Sabrina Duncan?
Get out or I'll call the police!
Do it! We'd love it.
Stop waltzing us around,
Croyden. Where is she?
Ah! Help!
You okay?
Yeah. Uh-huh.
Sure you're all right? Uh-huh.
Don't move.
I don't think you have to worry.
So Joy's broadcast
exposing Professor Croyden
cost him literally $200,000
in research grants.
So his motive was revenge.
Mm-hm.
I hope you know, Charlie, that
my motive in doing this story
was to bring out the truth.
Of course, Joy, and
it's a good thing you did.
Apparently the university
had put him on notice also.
They weren't
renewing his contract.
So he was gonna
lose his lab facilities.
You have to admit, Charlie,
that could make you a bit peevish.
What's this I hear about
Kelly the track star?
Actually, that part
of it was fun, Charlie.
Oh, Charlie, listen
you should've seen her.
She was wonderful. She ran
that guy right into the ground!
She runs just like a man.
Oh, really?
You mean she runs
like you run, Bosley?
Oh, well, no. Not exactly.
I mean I'm not your
typical male runner.
Look, I'm paid to
think. Not to run.
Oh, I see. Then
you think like a man.
Right? Mm?
Well, yes! I mean of course.
Does Kelly think like a man?
No.
Well, I mean she... Charlie?
Kelly, do you think like a
man or just run like a man?
Charlie?
Help!
Bosley, you're on your own!
Oh.
Oh, my gosh, I
think I better run.