Celebrity Juice (2008–…): Season 17, Episode 1 - Episode #17.1 - full transcript
You are probably thinking, "What the
fuck is going on?" But it is a
metaphor. Live! Here we all are.
Live! We are live!
We're live! Cut to me now!
Hurraaaah!
Hurrah!
Welcome to a special Celebrity Juice,
Live!
Slightly drunk. (SLURS WORDS)
We are starting with a live episode.
This could be our last episode. If
Gino says anything wrong about his
wife or whatever else.
Let's meet our team captains. First
up, Holly Willoughboozy.
Phwoar! I can smell smoke! You are
smoking! Look at you! Holy shitballs!
Piss in my face. You are looking
hot. Are you pregnant?
The answer is still no. Would
you like to have ginger babies? No.
How are you feeling? What, w
pregnancy? Or in general? She is
pregnant! Exclusive! I am defin
not pregnant. I saw her pregnant
about six, seven times. She's like...
Who is on your team? I have the
Prince of dough balls, Gino
D
On my left, she's the queen of Heart
FM, it's Emma Bunton!
That's a very good-looking team. It
is a fuckable team. Is that OK to
say live? Let's meet our other team
captain and see if they are equally
lush. It's Fearne Cotton! Hi. I am
enjoying you in that attire. I
thought I would smarten up. A lot of
people say to me, "Who do you prefer?
Holly or Fearne?" I say, "For what?"
With you, I'm always scared
to go to a urinal with you because
you have a bigger dick. I have
Jonathan Ross!
And Scarlett Moffatt.
Great team. Fantastic team. You have
beauty and knowledge. And I
are... What is the word? Volkable?
That is a German car, isn't it? You
are a bit more mature than all of us.
But in a good way. You mean
sophisticated. Exactly. A lot of the
young people, it is all about viral
and winning the Internet. Do you
partake on social presence? I do a
little bit. I tweet occasionally. I
look at pictures of cats. You are
confused by Boomerang. <
make very short films? Why so short?
I like the idea of doing a Boomerang
with an actual boomerang and just
going...
Because we are live and a lot of
people think we are not when we do
this, Holly is going to take a selfie
of her team and we are going to
retweet it and see how many we get.
If we get more than 1,000, Holly and
Fearne are going to snog with tongues
at the end of the show. We've been
there, we've done that. But it's for
charity! Red Nose Day is soon.
fuck is going on?" But it is a
metaphor. Live! Here we all are.
Live! We are live!
We're live! Cut to me now!
Hurraaaah!
Hurrah!
Welcome to a special Celebrity Juice,
Live!
Slightly drunk. (SLURS WORDS)
We are starting with a live episode.
This could be our last episode. If
Gino says anything wrong about his
wife or whatever else.
Let's meet our team captains. First
up, Holly Willoughboozy.
Phwoar! I can smell smoke! You are
smoking! Look at you! Holy shitballs!
Piss in my face. You are looking
hot. Are you pregnant?
The answer is still no. Would
you like to have ginger babies? No.
How are you feeling? What, w
pregnancy? Or in general? She is
pregnant! Exclusive! I am defin
not pregnant. I saw her pregnant
about six, seven times. She's like...
Who is on your team? I have the
Prince of dough balls, Gino
D
On my left, she's the queen of Heart
FM, it's Emma Bunton!
That's a very good-looking team. It
is a fuckable team. Is that OK to
say live? Let's meet our other team
captain and see if they are equally
lush. It's Fearne Cotton! Hi. I am
enjoying you in that attire. I
thought I would smarten up. A lot of
people say to me, "Who do you prefer?
Holly or Fearne?" I say, "For what?"
With you, I'm always scared
to go to a urinal with you because
you have a bigger dick. I have
Jonathan Ross!
And Scarlett Moffatt.
Great team. Fantastic team. You have
beauty and knowledge. And I
are... What is the word? Volkable?
That is a German car, isn't it? You
are a bit more mature than all of us.
But in a good way. You mean
sophisticated. Exactly. A lot of the
young people, it is all about viral
and winning the Internet. Do you
partake on social presence? I do a
little bit. I tweet occasionally. I
look at pictures of cats. You are
confused by Boomerang. <
make very short films? Why so short?
I like the idea of doing a Boomerang
with an actual boomerang and just
going...
Because we are live and a lot of
people think we are not when we do
this, Holly is going to take a selfie
of her team and we are going to
retweet it and see how many we get.
If we get more than 1,000, Holly and
Fearne are going to snog with tongues
at the end of the show. We've been
there, we've done that. But it's for
charity! Red Nose Day is soon.