Celebrity Juice (2008–…): Season 15, Episode 3 - Episode #15.3 - full transcript
Hi. I'm Keith Lemon.
These are my not-new titles.
Well, if it ain't broken...! Here is
Holly Willoughbooby and a giant clam.
She's still got them bangers!
Woo-hoo!
Fearne Cotton, who's back after
having another baby. She's a wonder
of modern science.
There's Gino "Sheffield" D'Acampo
with a tiny willy, just like in real
life.
We are all here in heaven
but, don't worry, we are not dead,
it's just an overelaborate metaphor
for how great this show is.
What's that show on telly?
It's Celebrity Juice on telly.
(APPLAUSE)
Yeah!
(CHEERING)
Hurrah!
HURRAH!
Welcome to Celebrity Juice.
It's Thursday!
(CHEERING)
Let's meet our team captains.
First up it's Fearne Cotton.
(CHEERING)
Hi.
# Yeah! Yeah!
Dude looks like a lady!
♪ Yeah, yeah
Dude looks like a lady ♪
(LAUGHTER)
Thank you.
Fearne, who's on your team?
Let's just get to that.
Let the Paddy see the juice. It's
Paddy McGuinness.
(CHEERING)
And on my right I have
Corrie bad boy Shayne Ward.
(CHEERING)
OK, unfortunately, Holly has
gone into rehab this week,
because she is an alcoholic.
Filling in for Holly is no other
than Gino "Sheffield" D'Acampo!
(CHEERING)
AUDIENCE: Gino! Gino! Gino!
Thank you.
Thank you, thank you, thank you.
Gino, there is summat different
about you.
Before you tell us,
tell me who's on your team.
OK. Which camera is he?
Oh, Jesus Christ!
The one with the big red light on,
you knob!
(LAUGHTER)
On my left I have a lady
that everybody wants to fuck.
(LAUGHTER)
It's Caroline Flack.
Wow.
(CHEERING)
It's true.
Is that it?!
It's a compliment.
Thanks.
And on my right I have a lady that,
most likely, everybody already
These are my not-new titles.
Well, if it ain't broken...! Here is
Holly Willoughbooby and a giant clam.
She's still got them bangers!
Woo-hoo!
Fearne Cotton, who's back after
having another baby. She's a wonder
of modern science.
There's Gino "Sheffield" D'Acampo
with a tiny willy, just like in real
life.
We are all here in heaven
but, don't worry, we are not dead,
it's just an overelaborate metaphor
for how great this show is.
What's that show on telly?
It's Celebrity Juice on telly.
(APPLAUSE)
Yeah!
(CHEERING)
Hurrah!
HURRAH!
Welcome to Celebrity Juice.
It's Thursday!
(CHEERING)
Let's meet our team captains.
First up it's Fearne Cotton.
(CHEERING)
Hi.
# Yeah! Yeah!
Dude looks like a lady!
♪ Yeah, yeah
Dude looks like a lady ♪
(LAUGHTER)
Thank you.
Fearne, who's on your team?
Let's just get to that.
Let the Paddy see the juice. It's
Paddy McGuinness.
(CHEERING)
And on my right I have
Corrie bad boy Shayne Ward.
(CHEERING)
OK, unfortunately, Holly has
gone into rehab this week,
because she is an alcoholic.
Filling in for Holly is no other
than Gino "Sheffield" D'Acampo!
(CHEERING)
AUDIENCE: Gino! Gino! Gino!
Thank you.
Thank you, thank you, thank you.
Gino, there is summat different
about you.
Before you tell us,
tell me who's on your team.
OK. Which camera is he?
Oh, Jesus Christ!
The one with the big red light on,
you knob!
(LAUGHTER)
On my left I have a lady
that everybody wants to fuck.
(LAUGHTER)
It's Caroline Flack.
Wow.
(CHEERING)
It's true.
Is that it?!
It's a compliment.
Thanks.
And on my right I have a lady that,
most likely, everybody already