Celebrity Ex on the Beach (2014–2020): Season 5, Episode 9 - Episode #5.9 - full transcript

'Ex On The Beach is back.'

'This time, it's all-stars. Old faces
return for another shot at love.'

Am I looking for love? Fucking yeah.

'They'll have to endure
their exes...'

I've never, ever
felt like this in my life.

'Some will have to deal
with old grudges...'

You've had more dicks
than I've had sun beds.

'And as hard as they try
to find their perfect match...'

Right, who wants to finger me?

'Standing in their way once again
will be the Tablet of Terror.'

I won't lie,
I'm cacking myself big time.



'It's going to be
hotter than ever before.'

I wanna ride her. Giddy up, Amy.

'As emotions boil over.'

And then you made me realise there's
more to life than what I was doing.

'Tensions run high.'

Dare ya, I fucking dare ya!

Let's fucking go, kid.

'And the claws come out.'

...to your face, which I'm...

'So far, ten exes have arrived.'

She is the most toxic person
I have ever met.

I did not think that
I was gonna feel like this.

I kind of slept with Chrysten
when I was with Lillie.

Gary, like,
I've never felt so hurt.



Lillie's great, but Chrysten,
I wanna rip her little panties off.

Christen, did you kiss him
in the bathroom?Yes.

It's a pretty scary thought

when somebody's not the person
you think they are.

I don't wanna see you
with other people here.

Why's that?
Because it hurts me.

I am apologising now
and I do want us to get on.

He can look at me,
not even do anything and I'll smile.

(laughter, champagne pops)

I eventually banged Olivia.

Liv got the parsnip,
I wanna do it again, all the time,

everyday, every second.

Oh, it's mine. Great.
Fuck, it's Aimee.

It's another one to add
to the list you shagged.

Every fucking day more shit comes
out of the woodwork with that prick.

Are you fucking joking me?!

I've woke up this morning with Ash,
yet again I feel great,

we're getting on.
I just hope nothing fucks this up.

You know what? when Kayleigh's not
nagging and getting on my nerves,

I enjoy spending time with her.
Hopefully it continues.

He's openly said, "Kayleigh,
it doesn't matter who comes in."

"I'm with you."
So, if he does get with someone now

he's not only ruining
our time in here,

he's ruined our friendship
on the outside.

Now Aimee's here, there's no chance
I'll go back to Holly, we are done.

So, Conor, did you shag Aimee?
No.

I slept in his bed.

Honestly crack on because you're not
gonna get with anyone else in here.

I don't need to, like, mate.

You only get with girls at home cos
you can get them on your guest list.

I fucking hate Conor,
the stupid, lanky, skinny prick.

Good luck with Aimee. If you don't
pull her, you won't get anyone.

You couldn't pull a muscle,
that's if you had any.

I'm not bothered.

Is she off her nut?
Fucking hell, hun.

Aimee, top girl. Ten out of ten.
For Holly, I'd have to go minus ten.

She's minus her
fucking marbles as well.

Last night was full of drama again,

everyone was asking me, "Did you
kiss Bear, did you kiss Bear?"

It was just too much pressure,
I couldn't handle it any more.

I had to get it off my chest
and say something.

It's annoying that Bear's lying,
obviously people will believe me.

To keep peace in camp I'm gonna keep
denying that I've kissed Chrysten.

Deny, deny, deny till you die,
stick a fork in your eye, woo!

I was so bored of the Lillie
situation, I felt I was tied down.

Me and Lillie are done now, I just
wanna kiss all the other birds.

I don't even have the time of day
for Bear any more.

He is the one that has pulled
Gary up for losing a girl like me,

yet he's technically just done
exactly the same thing.

I just don't know how
I will trust anyone ever again.

'Lillie's lost faith in finding love,

but who'll pray for mercy
when the next ex

preaches more unfinished business?'

(evil laugh)

(tablet chimes)

Ah, fuck off. Really?

Don't get too relaxed, all-stars,
as it's beach time.

Hawley...Tablet of Terror,
you little fucking tinker.

...Kayleigh...

I'm having fun in the villa, you're
gonna chuck in a really nasty ex,

is that what this is?

...and Gaz, it's time to go greet
one of your exes.

Round five?

Do you reckon it'll be yours Gaz?
It's obvious.Yeah!

Surely there can't be another one,

we've just got over the whole Lillie
thing and we're in a good place.

I'll be gutted if Gaz comes back
with an ex he still cares about.

I feel like it's my second home.
You should live down here.

Back again.

Cheers to what's about
to come out the water.

We shouldn't cheers,
we should be wishing us luck.

Best of luck. I feel like a weight's
been lifted off me shoulders

with Jemma leaving. But being here,
fuck knows what's gonna happen.

Could be yours, Kayleigh.

If your ex comes out, tablet goes off
saying you're on a date.

That's gonna piss Ash off.

If my ex comes out,
I'm gonna have one big problem.

I just can't imagine what else
can get thrown at us.

I've confessed a lot of things
to Lillie about Chrysten

and three other girls,
imagine if one of them turns up.

Wow.

You go out and get the drama.

I've had me drama. Come on, tablet,
do us a fucking favour.

Gaz, he's fed up now.
He's got three exes in that villa,

but it's your fault, you shouldn't
put your dick in so much pussy.

Shit's gonna fucking hit the fan.

Oh, I'm kicking back.

I'm not even gonna think about it,
I'm not thinking about it.

Aimee, course I'll go there,
she is gorgeous,

she's harmless

and she's Conor's bird, which
makes it all the sweeter, right?

Yeah, look at him.

I'm not here to get Conor back.

He thinks I am,
but I'm here to meet new guys.

He's a little shit.

You made me drink pool water.

He's full of shit, he's a little
shit and he's a fucking gimp.

What the fuck, Aimee?
He couldn't give a fuck about her.

He's just gonna mug her off like
he does with every other bird.

Could be this ex, could be that ex,
could be anyone.

If it's Hawley's ex, in all honesty,
I'll be absolutely buzzing.

Fuck this, man.

I could do without this right now.

It could be one of mine

and I know Gary, he'll be fucking
straight in for the kill.

Fuck off.

Once again, that tablet, it just
knows all my secrets, don't it?

What the fuck?
Hello!

(laughs)
Fucking hell.

Gary seems fucking happy to see her.

Mate, do you not realise
the shit that this is gonna cause?

'Self-proclaimed queen bitch Melissa
was surprised by her ex Gaz...'

'...in series two.'

It's fucking Gaz.

'After a night of fun,
they went their separate ways

and a real love affair
started with Kayleigh.'

'Unfortunately,
the friendship turned frosty.'

I don't give a fuck.

'When Mel got her hands
on her best mate's man.'

Congratulations,
you're the biggest bitch.

'None other than Kayleigh's
current squeeze, Ashley Caine.'

When I go in this villa,
if I see something I want,

I'll take it. I don't give a fuck.

I've got no loyalties
to these bitches.

I'm coming back to reclaim my crown.

Do I hug you? Or do I slap you?
Is the question.

Shit.
Fucking hell.

What the fuck are you wearing?
You need me as a best friend

cos I need to give you
some fucking fashion advice.

I've been so nervous
coming in here for you...

What happened?

You stopped speaking to me
after being sisters,

she was my sister
and she stopped speaking to me.

When my best friend lies to me or
when I feel like I can't trust them

with my life,
I cut them out of my life.

Mel will go for Ash, obviously,

that's what she done in series two
and that's when we were tight.

And I tried to speak to you...
But I didn't want to speak to you.

I did not want to speak to you.
OK, then, yeah.

Don't give a shit about her, or
anyone, I'll do what the fuck I want.

Lillie's in there.

(laughs) Awkward.
(giggles)

Does she know that we fucked
when you were together.

Oh, shit. Really?
Gary mate, you're fucked.

How's Lillie gonna react knowing
me and you slept together?

Fucking hell.

Every time I think things
are going a little bit better,

something else just fucking
gets thrown at us, man.

I told her there was more than one.

I didn't expect more than one
to turn up, though.

'There's no getting out
of this, Gaz.'

(tablet chimes)

Oh, shit.

'Saved by the bell.'

Oh, my God.

What the fuck's gonna happen next?
Welcome to the beach, Melissa.

Time to get touchy feely. Melissa
and Hawley, you're off on a date.

All I'm thinking about is me chod,
slapping it on her.

Right then, shall we get off?

See you in a bit.
Bye-bye. See ya tonight.

It'll be very touchy feely. I'm never
gonna say no to nothing like that.

(sighs)

So I've now gotta live with Olivia,
who I'm banging,

Charlotte Dawson, who I banged,
my ex girlfriend and two girls...

You fucked behind her back.
Out of the four

I got with behind her back.

This is fucking not Ex On The Beach,

it's just fuck Gary on the beach.

Just when you think things
can't get any worse for me.

You're joking. Which one's crawled
out the woodwork now, Gary?

Who is it? Is it the one...?
It's not Charlotte, is it?

Melissa Reeves.

(Ashley laughs)

Why is that so bad?

Cos that's one of the people
I slept with behind your back.

I'm just speechless.

No fucking way.

She's not here to make any friends,
she walked up the beach

like, "I dunno whether
to hit you or kiss ya."

You?
Yeah.

I thought you two were mates?

Mel doesn't give a shit
who she hurts.

Lillie's not gonna be
able to handle it.

Gary, when we saw her in District
was it before or after that?

Before.

She was all nice to my face knowing
she'd slept with my boyfriend?Yeah.

It was bad enough living
with one person that Gary

cheated on me with,
now I have to live with two.

That's not a spanner in the works,
that's a whole fucking toolbox.

Why didn't you tell me
that the other day, Gary?

I told you there was more than one
person, I didn't think she'd turn up.

I don't even know
who I wanna even be any more.

I just can't imagine
living with Lillie.

I feel so sorry for Lillie,
she's had such a shit time.

Lillie don't deserve that, man.

Just as we all thought it was gonna
be a nice entertaining night

with a really nice
new arrival, we get Melissa Reeves.

Fantastic. Let the games begin, eh?

I better get myself ready.

For what? For you to do the exact
same thing you done last time?

Well, that's awkward.
Kayleigh is not happy at all.

She's got a face like thunder.

Does she think I'm gonna kiss her?
She fucking knows I will.

Why don't you get yourself ready?

This time round I feel
like if he does it all over again,

me and Ashley are never gonna
get together ever again.

I will say hello to her, give her
a kiss and let her crack on.

'Ashley's playboy past has
got Kayleigh fearing for the future,

but who'll want to step back in time
when the next ex attacks?'

(evil laugh)

How's your day been anyway?

I've had a blinder, mate. Aimee's
fit and we're getting on good.

Bit of kissing, the usual.

Tonight I'm gonna crack on
with Aimee, have a bit of fun,

we're gonna wind up in the penthouse
rumping all night.

I fucking got sunburnt
really bad, fell asleep.

Conor, I don't like the fella,
I'm gonna really wind him up.

So, who's having
the penthouse tonight, then?

You didn't seal the deal with Lils,
so try with Aimee, innit?

Cheers, mate. Thanks. Aimee's sexy.

It's all right, man.

Ta-da!

'Mel's cooled off
from her Kayleigh encounter,

but Hawley has the chance to get her
hot under the collar all over again.'

'Romance.'

This place looks sick.

Hawley's hot and he's nice,
but you know, I'm a prick tease.

He ain't gonna get a kiss
on the first date, absolutely not.

So, I can see that you and Kayleigh
have got some issues,

what's that all about?

As far as I'm concerned, I'm done.

I've got shit
she won't want me to say.

Kayleigh and Mel
are gonna fucking boot off.

I'm just gonna graft
and see where I get.

This will be more fun
if we do it to each other.

You do it on me,
I'm not giving you one.

I like to receive, not give.It's
a good start. I'm not complaining.

Finally, these Thai birds
have fucked off

and I'm thinking game time, kit off.

So, do you think you'll do anything
with Gaz, or is that yous two done?

We'll see how this date goes.
See how this date goes?

(laughs)

Do you want it harder, or softer?

Erm, a bit harder.

I think Hawley
liked massaging my bum.

Your bum's shocking.
It's fucking sick.

I can't blame him,
so I allow him to do so.

I always find a way to control men.

I'm over the top of her and all
I can do is stare at her arse.

Fuck knows what she's saying,
I'm just squeezing this.

Do you reckon I get a kiss before
we go back? To finish the date?

I actually surprisingly
really do like Hawley

and I didn't think I would.

Well, I've had a fucking good time.
I've had a good time as well.

But we'll see what else
I've got to choose from first.

I can't actually physically
cry any more.

I don't believe you didn't
do it all the time.

I didn't cheat on you all the time.
I'm looking at Gary,

and I see completely who he is now.

You've just made me feel
like I'm never

gonna be able to, like,
trust anything anyone says to me.

Doing it's one thing, dealing
with the consequences is another.

And looking at Lillie right now,
I do feel guilty.

So sorry it's came out like this.

Every time I'm like, get past this,
something else comes along

and I'm just like for God's sake,
like, what is wrong with me?

Nothing's wrong with you,
you've done nothing wrong, it's me.

I swear I've never cried in my life

and, like, the last week I've like
nearly had two fucking breakdowns.

I don't wanna talk to you any more.

I just seriously
can't take it any more.

'Lillie's world has already
been shattered by the new arrival

and Mel's imminent approach
is on everyone's mind.'

Hawley's needed new material. He
wants a girl because cos he ran out.

On the date, I'm sure the date
said something about touchy feely.

When Melissa enters this villa,
it's going to be fireworks.

She is a first-class bitch.

Talk of the devil and he may appear.
Hey.

Good day, yeah? You all right?
Yeah.

She's looking quite fit, so
if I want Mel, I'm gonna go get her.

What's your name?
Holly. You all right?

I'm Melissa, good to see ya.
And you.

She just completely blanked me.
Yeah, I know, I saw that.

I swear to God,
I'm gonna fucking lose it.

What else has gone on?
What have I missed?

Well, you obviously know
my ex-boyfriend, Gary,

but we don't need
to go in to that, do we?

Fuck this, man.

Do you not think
you owe her an apology?

I'm not sorry, because I didn't know

he was actually in a serious
relationship, it's Gaz,

you hear rumours but I would
never think he was actually settled.

I could not give a fuck about Lillie.
She wants Gaz, who's a player,

then acts shocked when he cheats
on her, that's not my problem.

I was single, he was in a
relationship so I ain't got no fault.

I honestly did think I was gonna
get angry tonight, but then...

...when you're in the situation,
like,

it's very hard
to control how you feel.

(Lillie crying)

It's just a bit, like, pathetic.
Get over it.

He's cheated on you, big wow.

I'm not her friend
and I don't have loyalties to her.

To be honest with ya, everything
else going on now does not matter,

Lillie's upset
and that is my main priority.

I hate Gary, but he's also the only
person in here that I really know.

She can slap us, she can swill us,

she can do what she wants,
but I am not leaving her side.

Shh. Come on, come on.

Like, I care about you.

I don't care if you believe it or
not I'm telling you I care for you.

Gaz and Lillie
will get back together,

they're all over each other.

All over each other.
Are they?

I've spent most of my nights
in this villa with Gary,

why does he think
he can do this?

There's no need to just pick
and choose when you want me.

I don't wanna get upset
because I'm fine,

I'm a strong person and I can
deal with it for the next few days.

(sighs)

Me and Aimee, we're getting close,
we're kissing, fuck it,

let's go to the penthouse, yay.

I'm gonna bend her over, get her
in the shower, what's happening?

A bit of shower gel,
what's happening?

I'm gonna go from there because
tonight I'm gonna tango, baby.

Bear is off the table tonight,

I like to flirt with him,
but he's not gonna get anywhere.

First thing she says to me is,
"Bear, where's my makeup?"

What you gonna do, babe,
powder your arsehole?

I'm having a shitter.

'Bear's bonfire is well
and truly soaked,

but sparks are flying
elsewhere in the villa.'

Oh, my God

Conor, who's that?

Olivia.

(Lillie laughs)

I've woken up with Aimee,
and to be honest,

she was more concerned
about her makeup than kissing me

so I thought, fuck this.

So, for me, she's not the one, I'm
gonna move on, I'm gonna sweep her

under the Bearsy carpet.

Even though me and Kayleigh
have been getting on well,

I wanna crack on with Melissa,

cos I've been there and done that
with Kayleigh, I need something new.

I'm scared history's gonna repeat
itself. Melissa's top slag

and Ash thinks with his dick.

If he does fuck me over
it is gonna hurt me.

I think Ashley and, erm,
Mel looks like a good couple.

With me and Kayleigh,
it's complicated.

I've got loyalties to her
because we were friends for so long,

but then I think should I? Cos she's
disrespected me by cutting me off.

My thrill in life
is making men fight over me,

it's just fun to watch.

He's just a gentleman, isn't he?

I'm gonna play the field a little
bit and then I'll take me pick.

(laughter)

Last night I think I hit rock bottom

and actually needed somebody
to comfort me that actually knew me

and the only person in here is Gary.

I think no matter what Gary does,
I'll always love him in some way.

You can love someone,
but not want them

and I think that's maybe
who Gary will always be to me.

I wanna make sure Olivia's all right,
it's just a messy situation.

I do feel like Gary has used me
slightly whilst being here.

He's been going through a lot

and I've always been there for him
and we've had fun,

but when it comes to my feelings,

I feel like he's not
really been there for me.

'With some of the group
firing blanks,

the Tablet of Terror has given them
a chance to unleash their load.'

Oh, my God, we're paintballing.

We're going paintballing! Woo!

This is fucking war,
get your game faces on, let's do it.

You lot over there, you lot come
with me. Fucking game time, people.

I'm used to spraying girls, but this
is taking it to a whole new level.

One, two, three.

(shouting)

Fuck off.

Mel's looking fit so I wouldn't mind
if someone shot Kayleigh

and put her out of action for a bit.

Ow! Don't fucking shoot me,
you pricks!

(screaming)

Mel came in giving it all that,

put her in a ring like this, mate,

she starts screaming
like a little girl.

(Melissa screams)

Gaz is coming, get him.

Get him, get him. Wahey!

Yeah, you shitter!

(Ashley laughs)

Hold on a minute, hold on a minute,
how fit is Mel?

Yeah, she's fit, ain't she?

That's why I'm trading Kayleigh.

She likes Ash,
likes a bit of the Caine.

I'll do it tonight
and let you know how it is.

I'm gonna let Ash go in
all guns blazing,

which Melissa doesn't like
and swoop in and take her.

You talk very confident,
but I think I'm the dark horse...

(mimics horse, laughs)

Listen, I'll put her on your back
to carry to my bedroom, mate.

(laughter)

Melissa's gonna go for me.

At the end of the day,
a girl wants the gorilla,

not a fucking junior monkey
(mimics monkeys).

May the best man win.
Let's fucking get out there.Quick!

'While the paintball game rages on,

Gaz and Lillie have managed
to find a cosy little area

in the middle of the battlefield
for a heart to heart.'

Me and Gary are like two
little kids around each other today

in a school playground.
We're both nervous and don't know

whether we should be by each other,
or it's just a bit awkward.

Last night, when I ran after ya

and I was in the bedroom
and you cuddled us,

at that moment then,
that's when I realised what I'd done.

Last night I was there for Lillie and
that was the most important thing,

but all I can do now
is try and do the right thing.

It's mad, cos in that situation
you'd think the last person that you

wanna be comforted by is the person
that hurt you but, like,

I think you're the only person
in here that really knows me.

If me and Lillie spend the rest of
our time here in bed together,

there's gonna be a risk that feelings
come back and we can't have that.

Obviously from here forward...

...I don't think it's a good idea
we spend every night together.

All good?

I probably do love Gary
and always will love Gary,

but I am ready to
close that book now

and hopefully
never pick it back up.

Can I have a hug?

(gunshot)

Can we have a hug?
Can I have a hug?

Can we have a hug.
Are you serious?

I just...
You nearly took my foot off.

I wish I was aiming this way...

Get that gun away from me.

'After Gaz left Olivia
out in the cold,

the Tablet of Terror has given
Bear a chance to warm her up.'

I'm pissed off with Gary
and that whole situation

and I know Bear's the perfect guy to
have fun with and have a laugh with.

Cheers for good times.
Good times. Always.

And to being single.
Olivia is hurt by Gaz, right?

I can't wait to swoop in
and give her a comfort kiss.

This is my time to shine, baby.

Gaz was in bed
with Lillie last night, snogging.

That's true.

What happened there?
I thought he was your boyfriend?

I thought me and Gaz
really got on and had something,

but thinking about it,
he has just used me

and I'm not gonna let a guy
do that to me. I deserve more.

I think it's nasty.
I'm better than that.

You're pretty. If you wasn't taken,
you're the type of girl I go for.

Why am I just sticking with Gary?

Like, he clearly doesn't really
care about me too much,

so I should just have fun.

Now you're single,
I wanna mingle with ya.

(laughs)

I told Olivia,
you are my number one,

I just wanna have some fun with her
and Olivia seems very fun.

Say if me and you were
to have a bit of fun...

Olivia, you gotta promise me, right?

That you're never, ever
gonna go back with Gaz again.

I promise.
You promise?Promise.

I am so done with Gaz,
he's mugged me off too many times,

I'm totally single now and I'm
stronger and better than that

and I'm not having it any more.

I am nobody's doormat,
I'm gonna go back into that villa

and stay with Bear.

Shots!

'It's party time at the villa,

but Gaz won't be jumping for joy
when he hears about Bear's conquest.'

Oi-oi!

Hi, everyone.

Did you have a great time or what?

We had a great time.

Did you kiss?
I was very surprised like...

Did you kiss?
Yeah, we did.

Do they honestly think I am arsed?
Olivia was a bang.

Me and Bear always got on

and Bear put a few things
into perspective for me.

I can't just be picked up
and dropped.

Gary is fuming
and I fucking love it.

Now, Gaz mugged her off twice,

his head was turned by Chrysten
and also last night

Lillie and you kissed,
is that acceptable?

Of course it's not.

You fucking lied.

Mate, if you wanna go for another one
of my seconds, fine. Crack on.

(laughter)

Gaz is pretending like
I'm not bothered

but I can see it in his face, he's
fucking bitter, jealous and annoyed.

Do not start trying to pull me out
after all I've been through,

I've admitted I've done wrong,

I've sorted things out with Lillie,
had a wicked time with you.

Go have a wicked time with Bear.

I'll go to bed by myself,
I don't care.

Bear, to me,
you are honestly not a threat.

If I wanted to, I reckon I could
get back with Olivia tonight.

If you could go to bed with anybody
tonight, would it be Gary or Bear?

It would be... Bear.

Are you choosing Bear?
Yeah.

Gaz is used to being top dog,
but in this villa he's not,

because I'm the top dog really.

Bear and Olivia, Bolivia.

'Olivia's left Gaz
with a taste of neglect,

but who'll be eating their words
when the next all-star ex

sours the villa?'

'Gaz may have had his fingers burnt,

but Ashley isn't
afraid of playing with fire.'

I'm still definitely gonna go
for Mel, she's the prize in here.

If that fails,
I've got Kayleigh to fall back on...

...fall back in.'(laughs)

It is what it is
and we'd have good sex...

We'd have angry, hatred sex,
like, "Fucking hate you."(laughs)

The sex would be fucking next level.

Exactly and I don't think he will.
I don't think he will.

Ash has openly said he will not
touch anyone else in this villa

for the duration of our time here.

If he does, he's lost someone
he can fuck and he's lost a friend.

If he wants to take that risk over
a slag from Liverpool, go ahead.

She told me she's got shit on you,
is that why you're not kicking off?

Melissa, you got loads
of shit on me?

You know I've got shit on you.
Exactly what I've got on you.

How?

The fights between Kayleigh
and Melissa are irrelevant.

The real argument here is me. Girls,
there's enough of me to go around.

OK, Melissa, you wanna play
that game with me, yeah?

Kayleigh, don't start...
Melissa play that game with me.

Mel knows mine and Ashley's history,

for her to come here and flirt
with him in front of my face,

I ain't gonna fucking stand for it.
Go on then, play the game.

You ain't got shit, at least I can
get a boyfriend to stay with me,

you can't get a call back
when you fuck someone.

Kayleigh's doing this,
cos the attention's off her.

She's ugly, no-one gives a shit.

I'm the one getting more attention,

she's jealous
and she always has been.

If you wanna talk about boyfriends,

shall I come at you
with your boyfriends? No.

That bitch better watch herself.

Don't go there with my boyfriends,
seriously, do you wanna go there?

Do you wanna go there with Ash?
Test me then!

Do you wanna go there
with what you did?!

Fucking tramp!
Do you wanna go there?

You're a 30-year-old, old cow!

She's a fucking slag
with a conky nose,

saggy-ass tits
and she thinks she can speak to me.

You're a fucking old woman,
go and get a job.

Are you joking, babe?
You had sex for fucking money...

I never had sex for money.
You dirty little tramp.

Go fuck yourself you fucking...

Tonight has proven
exactly why I do not like the girl

and I have no interest in making
a friendship ever again.

Who the fuck does she think she is?

Fucking droopy-ass tit slag.

Go and get your nose job done,
you fucking bitch.

I'm still in the game,
it's blown up,

hopefully it's gonna
push her away from Ash.

That's my opportunity to move in.

'Mel's ended up in bed
without her man,

but is Olivia still fighting
for independent women everywhere?'

'Probably not.'

I always ended up with you.

My girlfriend after two years
walked back in this house

and what did I do?
The next day, I banged you.

I had every intention
of not going back to Gary,

but Gary is a massive charmer,
he knows exactly what to say.

After I banged you again
and again and again,

Chrysten came in, "Gaz, are you
gonna get back with Chrysten?"

To be honest with you...
(muffled speech)

I said I've got Olivia,
it doesn't matter.

Even though I know
I shouldn't go back with Gary,

I just can't help myself
and I want to.

Babe, where you gone?

I'm praying that Olivia
hasn't gone to bed with Gaz,

cos he's gonna use you,
like he has this whole time.

Olivia tried to pie me for Bear,
but it didn't work. Unlucky, mate.

What are you doing? Are you thick?

I can't take an Olivia
to water and make her drink it.

Now the Bear don't care about you.

Hasta luego.

.