Celebrity Ex on the Beach (2014–2020): Season 5, Episode 8 - Episode #5.8 - full transcript
(narrator)
'Ex On The Beach is back.'
'This time it's all stars.'
'Old faces return
for another shot at finding love.'
Am I looking for love? Yeah.
'They'll have to endure their exes.'
I've never, ever
felt like this in my life.
'Some will have to deal
with old grudges.'
You've had more dicks
than I've had sun beds.
'And as hard as they try
to find their perfect match...'
Right, who wants to finger me?
'...standing in their way again
will be the Tablet of Terror.'
I won't lie,
I'm cacking myself big time.
'It's going to be hotter
than ever before...'
I wanna ride her. Giddy up, Aimee.
'...as emotions boil over.'
You made me realise that there's
more to life than what I was doing.
'Tensions run high.'
Dare you. I fucking dare you.
Let's fucking go, kid.
'And the claws come out.'
...to your face.
'So far, nine exes have arrived.'
'Whose...
She is the most toxic person
I have ever met.
'...ex...'
'...is...'
...next?'
I did not think
that I was gonna feel like this.
It's Alex.
OK?
I just literally love you so much.
I'd be fucked
if she was into some lad.
What have you been up to?
I've not slept with anyone.
I would like to trust Charlotte.
I don't wanna throw away six years.
I can't really bring myself to tell
Alex what I've been up to.
I've never met anyone
like you before.
But I get bored very easily.
I want Chrysten.
I can't do that to Lillie,
but I would love to fuck her
brains out.
I came here to get with Holly.
I do actually like the girl.
I'm not gonna go with anybody else.
I'll spend my time with you.
I don't wanna be associated when
she's running with her minge out.
It's disgusting.
Shall I bang you?
Give us some fucking action, man.
Jemma knows
I have feelings for Ashley.
I walk in to you fucking Ashley.
STI'd fucking slut,
you dare fucking touch me.
I'm pissed off with Ash
because he massively mugged me off,
so I'm ecstatic Jemma's gone.
I would like to sort stuff out
with Charlotte.
We were together for a long time.
There's history,
but it's just a trust thing
I want her to tell me
everything she's been up to
because I'm looking like a mug
acting happy with her
when I don't know the shit
she's been up to.
I've got to tell Alex
that I gave Bear a blowy,
had a three-way kiss
with Gaz and Olivia
and Jordan went down on me.
I feel like I've got
a black cloud over me.
He is, like, the love of my life.
I'm sweating cos I'm scared.
I'm not sure if I trust Bear.
I've only known him a few days.
But right now my instinct is just
telling me to trust Bear
until he does something wrong.
I got a little poem
for the situation I'm in.
Lillie, let me give you my willy
and if it doesn't happen soon,
Bear might get silly.
Morning, pussy cat.
Naughty Bear, naughty.
Everyone's gonna hate you,
but I don't care anymore
because I need to look after myself.
O-M-G. Bear's been flirting with me
and I'm really attracted to him.
Lillie has first grabs. I don't
wanna steal another boyfriend,
but he is hot.
Did you kiss anyone last night,
Holly?
Do you remember who you kissed
in the bedroom?
(gasps)
(laughter)
Hawley did you snog Holly
in the room last night?
(others laugh)
Oh, my God.
(laughs)
Are you being serious?
When you were kicking off,
you necked on with us.
What, I did to you?
Then you stick it on him
and he pushed you away (laughs).
No, I didn't.
We promised we weren't
gonna get with anyone.
What the fuck is Holly doing?
Conor, how do you feel about that?
I'm happy, mate.
I can't stand her anymore.
Oh! (laughs)
I don't believe that.
I think she's a tramp.
(gasps)
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God,
I don't believe that I did that.
It was going really well with Conor
and now I've proper fucked it.
You did.
That was boring. Fuck off.
You're a little tramp.
Why did no one tell me that
before breakfast?
I don't know what to do.
I was drunk and I said to him
it was just, it was, like,
I didn't even know I did it.
Why didn't Conor tell me?
I asked him.
I don't think Conor knew.
I was like, to Conor, "Can you
promise you won't get with anyone?"
And now I've done it
and I just feel really out of order.
'With the relationships on thin ice,
the Tablet of Terror is playing
cupid for once
and has sent Ashley and Kayleigh
on a flower arranging date.'
What's going on?
Are you gonna sulk the whole time?
I'm not sulking.
I'm feeling very nervous
because I don't really express
my true feelings to Ashley.
I never thought I would.
You came into the villa
as my ex, yeah?
The first night you had a threesome
with two girls
that's already had sex in the villa.
We've always had respect
for each other,
whereas the second he walked in,
I felt all of that was lost.
No, I did what I did
on the first night
because I'm me
and I do do some stupid things.
To be honest,
I can kind of see her point.
It's obvious I care for you.
Otherwise,
I would've not given a fuck.
I would've gone there with you
the next night, but it bothers me
because I'm not going there with you
and watch you fuck other people.
Cos, unlike Jemma, I
have some respect for myself.
I'm gonna end the pretending
and let's see where it can go now.
I don't wanna see you
with other people.
Why's that?
Because it hurts me.
And why else?
(laughs) Fuck off, Ashley.
Why else?
I'm interested. I wanna know.
Because it makes me jealous.
He can look at me, not even
do anything, and I'll smile.
No one has that ability but him.
I am apologising now
and I do want us to get on
because when you're smiling
with your little goofy smile...
It's a lot...
My goofy smile?
You've got such a goofy smile,
but it's cute.
I think we should go back
and get along. It's much more fun.
That way, you won't be sulking.
You'll enjoy yourself
and you might get lucky.
(laughs)
So, everyone's winning.
It does feel nice
to be laughing with him
because all we do is flirt,
laugh and have great sex
and we haven't done either
since he's been here.
So, if I do get lucky, you're not
gonna fuck off with someone else?
I didn't say that. I'm joking,
(laughs)
It depends how good you make me feel,
doesn't it?
'You may be laughing now, Kayleigh,
but you should know better than most,
this is Ex On The Beach
and happiness never lasts.'
'Whose ex is next?'
Well, who wants to do
any games later?
I got my lucky shirt on.
Everyone's happy,
but I can see a bit of tension
between Charlotte and Alex.
Alex, have you got anything to get
off your chest while we're all here?
Alex, is there anything you wanna
get off your fucking chest? Fuck off.
It's nice just
to clear the air sometimes.
It's all I'm gonna say on this one.
It's only fair that Alex
knows the truth in this situation.
So, I just asked a question
which will spark a feud.
Do you wanna go chat?
Clear the air?
I'm gonna see Charlotte
She's not told me the truth yet.
If it's a load of bullshit,
I'm just gonna tell her to fuck off.
Wanna do it in front of everybody?
No, I wanna speak on my own with you.
Can't do it in front of everybody.
I was waiting for the right time,
a private conversation.
Do it now. Then it's done.
Come on, Charlotte.
What have you been doing?
I got with two people.
I gave Bear a blowy.
Right.
And then, yeah, I did something
with someone else, Jordan.
Fucking fuming, man.
I'm not even arsed
about you sucking his dick.
I'm just arsed that you just lie.
How have I lied?
You sucking his dick's not an issue
cos they're not even
that good anyway.
He's not said anything
cos it's shit.
Oh, my God.
So, do you know what I mean?
Oh, right. OK, pal.
A below-average blow job?
Are you joking me?
You've been with me for six years.
Why do you keep coming back to me?
Just stop lying. Who else?
Fuck off, you stupid prick. Fuck off.
You can't handle the truth.
She just goes on the attack
straight away.
Fuck off!
You absolute little gimp.
Hilarious.
You can't handle the fucking truth.
'Well, that went well.'
'Maybe Holly making it
up to Conor will go better.'
I don't know what you're thinking.
Fuck's sake. Here it comes.
The whole Hawley thing was just,
like, I was just drunk...
No.
It was just one kiss, Conor.
That's one kiss too many.
You've fucked him.
You've been fingered and kissed him.
Because I heard...
What have I done? Fuck all.
I heard you shagged behind my back.
Yeah, I have.
I have. There was a point when I was
nervous about telling the truth,
but after last night,
I couldn't give two flying fucks.
And I'm glad I did because it proves
that you was just as bad as me.
Happy days.
Are you serious?Yeah.
Am I stupid or something?
Are you fucking winding me up?
I've come in here...
Are you winding me up?
Are you really that scared of me
that it's taken you all this time
to fucking tell me that?
How have you got
any fucking leg to stand on
if you did shag all them
girls behind my back.
Go.
I don't want to get with Hawley!
I want to get with you!
Why are you telling me
you shagged girls?
Are you fucking joking?
Ah, shut up, love. You're boring.
How many times
did I fucking ask you?
I was gonna tell you and then
together and sorting things out
and then you kiss the geezer
that you fucked before I arrived.
I think she's a ho. Piss off.
Go with Hawley. I'm not interested.
Like, I'm done with it.
I'm gonna leave it at that.
Like, I can't be arsed with it.
Fuck off.
You're a fucking bell end.
How many girls?
How many girls was it?
You silly little boy.
The whole time we were sleeping
together meant nothing?
I was drunk.
Was I not good enough?
Why did you shag other girls?
I was drunk.
La, la, la, la, la, la.
We were fine.
Why did you feel the need to shag
all them girls behind my back?
Why are you only telling me now?
I don't understand why.
I don't wanna be with you, do I?
Fuck off, you stupid fucking cunt.
Run off. Get your fanny out.
It's always out
and it's gonna stay out.
My fanny's pretty anyway.
Everyone wants to fucking see it.
Good, because you're a massive slag.
Stupid fucking cunt!
Fuck off!
(all) Hi.
Hello, sexy people.
So what did you do? How was it?
It was actually good
to get some one on one time
and so she can be honest
with herself and me.
We're finally at peace
and I'll be getting right deep
in some pussy tonight. It's standard.
What's gone on here?
Conor decided to tell me that
he did sleep with all them girls.
How many girls?
Don't know. Can't remember.
I don't know. I lost count.
What if one of these girls turns up?
Please don't say that to me.
I'll fucking rip her head off.
She's gonna be fitter than you.
Why are you being like that?
There's no need to get nasty, Conor.
You're in the fucking wrong,
so don't get fucking lairy!
I hate him.
This is what I deal with
every night.
You're in the wrong!
Anyone would react the same!
Stupid, fucking, skinny
little prick!
Let the battles commence tonight.
I'm just stretching. Getting ready.
It's always interesting
in this gaff.
You fucking told me a little bit
of what you'd been up to,
I put on a brave face.
All you've done is scratch
the surface and you're saying to me,
"Oh, I want this to be
an honest relationship."
What's annoyed me is not
what she's done. It's her lying.
If you can't trust someone,
you can't be with them.
I wanna hear what you've been up
to whilst I've not been here.
OK, that's fine.
Oh, God. It's so hard.
I kissed Gaz with Olivia.
A three-way kiss.
There. That's one thing.
Then I've, with Bear, did that.
What did you? What was you and Bear?
Well, you know.
Right, so who else?
What else have you done?
And then Jordan. Went on a date
with Jordan and he went down on me.
There we go.
All right, cool.
Don't tell half a story
and fucking... and that's it.
We're meant to be building bridges.
How are we meant to get past this?
Have a good time.
You have a good time.
Oh, yeah.
Cheers.
Don't cock block me and don't...
Darling, have a fucking great time.
Have a good time!
Don't put a ball and chain on me.
Do it front of my face.
Accept the circumstances.
That's all I'm saying.
And what's that?
What's the circumstances?
Or consequences.
You don't even know the word.
Just fuck off!
If you kiss a girl in front of me,
just accept it.
I fucking will kick off. Trust me.
I'm not gonna disrespect you,
so there you go.
Lol, you're giving blokes chewies
and letting lads go down on you
and you're going on about me
kissing a girl? Lol.
Have you... Oh, lol. Oh, my God,
shut up, you absolute gimp.
She is fucking crazy. (laughs)
If you were in this before me,
you wouldn't do anything?
You're mad about me kissing and
you're letting lads go down on you.
Fuck off! You fucking prick.
Fuck off.
That's two tots. That's two tots.
I fucking hate you.
Typical, when she gets backed
into a corner,
she starts going on the attack.
The only thing she could think
of doing was throw a drink.
It's always my fault.
What the fuck do you get up to?
Because it's probably the truth.
I am fucking single. So are you!
You are so thick. I didn't
give a shit what you'd done.
You don't tell the truth.
It wasn't the right time.
Draw a fucking line under it.
Right.
He's not a fucking angel.
'With Alex and Charlotte's
relationship falling to pieces,
who'll be left with their head in
their hands when the next ex arrives?
'T minus 10 hours.'
Mmm, mmm, mmm.
Are you my bamba?
(laughs)
Lillie's great.
She's beautiful. She's kind.
But Chrysten, she's sexy,
raunchy and I wanna rip
her little panties off.
I see Chrysten walk to the bathroom.
I thought it's time to strike.
I'm in a dilemma.
What?
I really fancy you,
but I'm sort of seeing Lillie.
Yeah, I know.
It's really hard. Do you fancy me?
Do you wanna be my secret?
I don't how I feel.
How are you supposed
to keep that a secret?
Feels good.
It's quite exciting having
a secret kiss no one can see.
Give me a little smoochie
on the woochie.
Do-be-do-be-do. Wash my hands.
I'll meet you upstairs.
Our little secret. Mum's the word.
Fuck.
Ha, ha!
I think I've got away with this one.
It's getting hot up there again.
Huh?
'Ooh, this could get awkward.'
You've got like sting...
stingy lip gloss on.
(laughs)
You're the prettiest in the world.
Am I?
Yeah, I think you are.
Give me a kiss.
Chrysten is my sexy little secret
and she's put there.
We're gonna close her up
and kiss her.
Hold on a minute, babe.
Don't tell no one. Shushee.
Shushee, Chrysten.
Has anything happened? No, yes?
'With Bear and Chrysten's naughty
little secret safe for now,
everyone's bedding down
for the night.'
'But it seems Alex
can't get past Charlotte's betrayal.'
This is the most embarrassing
situation I've ever been.
If I hadn't have come,
I wouldn't have got the truth.
Mate, mate, honestly, come here.
Come here.
Mate, honestly.
Fuck me, man.
Listen, look at us. Look at us.
Look at us. Come on.
(indistinct)
Mate, I went for a chat
with Lillie.
Just had the worst day of my life.
This morning I literally feel the
best I've felt since I've been here.
I had no drama last night
for the first night ever.
I woke up with my Bear. (laughs)
Give me a cuddle. Give me a cuddle.
I think
Bear's slightly sexually frustrated.
I'm so bored of Lillie.
I wanna get my cock wet.
So I've steered right.
What's her name again? Chrysten.
Last night, I can tell
Chrysten wanted to kiss me,
so I done the right thing.
I waited till she went downstairs
and I give her a snog.
Oi, oi.
I walk in and have
to drop a bombshell to Lillie
about her ex cheating on her with me
and now I'm kissing her man.
Awkward!
I've got a smile on my face,
so I can't be feeling that guilty.
Last night I was very angry.
everything came out in the open.
I would like to get back with Alex.
I wanna apologise
and try and make a go of it
cos I love him so much.
I'd be talking shit if I didn't say
Charlotte was the love of my life.
If she apologises,
then we'll see what happens.
Me and Conor have been sleeping
together for the past year
and from the get-go,
I heard he was shagging other girls
and he always denied it,
He's taken the piss out of me
He's got no excuse and he's making
me look like an idiot.
Me and Holly, we're totally done.
As soon as the new arrival comes,
I'll crack on.
What happened between
Ashley and Kayleigh?
We fucked.
(laughter)
It felt like it was a mixture
of making love and fucking.
What happened with you, Bear?
Me and Lillie
just cuddled all night.
It was, it was fucking nuts, yeah.
I give her a cuddle and then I
kissed her lips and... Roar. Crazy.
This guy is a fucking joker.
His cock is as dry
as the Sahara Desert,
all talk, no action.
Bear's balls have
got a heartbeat now.
It's not gonna happen.
I'm thinking about having
an affair. What do you reckon?
(laughter)
And Lillie's next to me laughing.
(laughs)
Oh, naughty Bear.
Go have a secret affair
behind her back.
(laughter)
No, I wouldn't do that.
I just wanna apologise...
Yeah.
...For last night, for swilling you.
Two or three times.
(both laugh)
And I'm sorry for what's happened.
We are meant to be with each other
and I wanna make everything right.
I know you want me
to tell you everything outright,
but how do I know that you wouldn't
have just got up and left me?
I get what you mean.
I didn't want it to go from
us not being together at all
and being exes
to coming in the house
straight away and being so full on.
Charlotte and I know
what buttons to press.
We just need to just chill out.
I wanna be with you.
I know it's gonna be baby steps
and I'm not gonna disrespect you.
I'm not gonna go near anybody.
Everyone else is different.
We were together six years.
Nobody's been like that.
No one's been through what we have.
Being in this villa has made me
realise I wanna get back with Alex.
He is nothing like
these little boys in here.
He's genuine. He's honest. He's loyal
and he is the love of my life.
Come here.
Baby steps.
(laughs)
'It looks like happiness
and harmony have been restored,
but how long before it
descends into heartbreak and hatred?'
'Next ex, T minus one hour.'
(Tablet rings)
(all groan)
Could be anything.
Wave goodbye to the villa
for Bear and Chrysten.
Yeah, get in there, my son!
You're off on a date,
sent from the Tablet of Terror.
I can tell the Tablet of Terror
is trying to get us caught,
what a shit stirrer.
(all) Ooh!
This is going
to get very interesting.
Probably not my first choice to be
sent on a date with Bear right now.
You happy to go
on a date with me or not?
Yeah.
I'm seeing Lillie, so no kissing.
You gotta promise.
Promise. Would I lie?
Have fun you two.
Have fun.
Stop it.
Holy shit,
I hope we don't get caught.
She'll have made both my boyfriends
cheat on me if she kisses him.
'The Tablet of Terror
has sent Holly, Conor
and Gaz to meet the new arrival.'
I just hate this place, man.
I know I hate this beach!
I've been here three times
and had three exes.
Last time,
Chrysten came out the water.
one thing I never expected,
so God knows what the hell
can happen on that beach.
Oh, I feel sick.
I don't wanna be here.
Have you banged
anyone behind my back?
No, Conor,
but I wish I did now.
If one of them slags that Conor
was shagging when he was seeing me
comes out of that water,
I'm gonna go ape shit on him.
If it's mine, I'm getting
drenched again and I know it.
By me or by her?
Probably both.
(laughs)
I can see it coming already.
Imagine I'm living with Lillie,
the ex, the girl I cheated on with,
banging Olivia.
Can't get more fucked.
There's only two in there girls
who aren't my exes.
Gaz, if it's mine you're gonna be
laughing your nut off
cos I'm gonna have
two girls going at me...
It was the same time.
Is that what you're saying?
No, maybe...
Tell me before she gets here
cos I'm gonna ask her.
I haven't got a clue.
How's this for excitement?
Hold on tight, babe. Put your legs
around Bear's big machine.
(screams)
Woo!
(laughs)
He's an insane jet ski driver.
Woo!
I really wanna ride you later.
Oh, Bear!
(laughs)
(screams)
It's like a love story,
me and you, I think.
Is it?
Reckon we get together at the end?
Don't know.
I want to.
I just wanna fuck Chrysten
and go back to Lillie and cuddle
cos Lillie is not putting out.
'Ooh, charming.'
But I don't wanna
leave Lillie just yet,
I wanna have some fun with you.
I don't wanna
make you feel pressured.
Yeah, we're having fun.
Bear's a funny guy.
I just wanna see where it goes,
not fall head over heels.
Do you reckon me and you ever get
caught for what we're up to?
I don't know.
Conor always seems to be there.
He does, don't he? Like, when he
walked in yesterday,
reckon he saw anything?
When you kissed me,
you could hear that you kissed.
I'm terrified
of someone finding out,
but we'll have to stay
one step ahead.
If he says anything, deny it.
Promise you're not gonna tell?
Promise.
Chrysten seems happy
keeping this a secret.
Fine by me.
Mate, my belly is doing cartwheels.
I am fucking shitting myself.
I hate this beach.
I feel like I'm gonna be sick.
Oh, that Tablet of Terror prick,
that's what does it.
Shit's gonna hit the fan.
Four girls, man, and the girl
you're sleeping with. Wicked.
It's just fucked up.
It's not mine.
Thank fuck it's not my ex.
Didn't even notice her.
(sighs)
Yeah, how are you? (laughs)
Oh, how are you?
Oh, it's mine. Great.
Fuck, it's Aimee.
What the fuck are you doing here?
I thought it was yours.
Didn't even recognise her.
Oh, fuck off.
How are you?
I'm Aimee. I'm from Colchester.
In some ways,
I am your typical Essex girl.
I love a sunbed and getting
glammed up for a night out.
I recently came out
of a four-year relationship,
Conor came along and charmed me.
We were happy, having fun
and then I find out he slept
with someone two days after me.
I felt physically sick.
Conor thinks he's this big player,
but he's just a boy
and he needs to be taken down a peg
and I'm the girl to do it.
Sorry, what's your name?
Aimee.
Nice to meet you. I'm Holly.
Fucking go home.
So, erm, how long were you
with Conor for?
I only saw him like two weeks ago.
What?
Conor is a stupid little prick.
I wasn't with you then.
How long before that?
Three weeks.
You stopped sleeping with me
and started with her.
Did it cross over? I'd like to know.
No, it didn't cross over.
Are you sure?
(laughs) It blatantly did.
This is awkward.
It blatantly did.
Fuck knows what I've walked into.
We've been together
for the past year
and we only stopped
about a month ago.
So, is this another one to add
to the list that you shagged?
She knows about the fucking list.
How the fuck does she know
and I didn't?
Are you fucking joking me?
I can't live in a house with someone
you shagged behind my back.
I was past you.
It didn't cross over.
She knows you shagged other girls.
They crossed over.
Shock, it's Holly running her mouth,
not listening to anyone.
Why am I only being told now?
I told you.
By someone I've just met.
I don't even know her name.
I told you.
Holly is definitely a bit loopy,
but I don't blame her.
He done it to me as well.
What do you mean to you?
You slept with someone
two days after me.
Someone in Birmingham.
Aimee starts teaming up with Holly.
And don't lie.
Wait a minute.
I'm not gonna say their name.
Every fucking day,
more shit comes out of the woodwork
with that prick.
Bank holiday weekend?
Yeah.
You fucking joking me?
I asked you about that weekend!
I asked you about that weekend.
I wasn't with you.
I don't give a flying fuck!
Yes, you were, Conor! You were!
You were at my house. You stayed
at my house the weekend before!
My hair's more important than you.
Stop throwing drinks, slag.
I wasn't with you.
Oh, my God, literally, I can't.
I can't deal with this situation.
(Tablet rings)
(sighs)
For fuck's sake!
It's gonna send
Conor and her on a date.
Fucking stupid Tablet's
going in the sea.
"Welcome to the beach, Aimee."
OK.
"You're off on a..."
For fuck's sake.
I can't even read it.
"You're off on a date with Conor
to make a holiday memento
you'll never forget.
From the Tablet of Terror."
Who am I on a date with?
Aimee.
Aimee. This'll be fun.
I can work my charm with her
and get her back tonight.
Oh, wow.
Nice to see you too, mate.
I'm fucking fuming.
I'll fuck her.
'Half of the villa
are restless for love.'
'The rest of them
just want to party.'
'And on top of it,
it's a full moon.'
(howling)
Moon party, mother fuckers!
(screaming)
Me and Ashley are back.
I'm having the time of my life. Woo!
Me and Alex,
we're finally back together.
(cheers)
(cheers)
No one gives a fuck about your date.
All we wanna know is did yous kiss?
I am the best liar. There's no way.
Nothing's coming from me.
No.
Never know. What was you expecting?
Of course I kissed Chrysten.
What do you think, hey?
You're all mugs.
We just had fun. It was on jet skis
all day. It was a good day out, man.
It was good fun.
Did you wanna kiss him?
No.
I think it's just a good friendship.
This is so awkward.
No, we never. To be honest,
I wanted to but I found Lillie,
so it's not fair on her.
I am relieved Bear
and Chrysten didn't kiss, obviously,
cos I do like Bear.
No kisses, please. No kisses.
You'll ruin the painting.
I've got Lillie here like, "Bear,
don't kiss me, mess my make-up up."
I want to look pretty.
Then you've got Chrysten.
Get in the bathroom and fuck me.
'Conor's still keen to rekindle
things with his ex Aimee
and what better way to do it
than make each other bracelets?'
'How cute.'
It's romantic.
We're making bracelets,
I can finally put my charm
into this bracelet
and give it to Aimee. Perfect.
(laughs) Oh, my God.
It says "freak".
He is a freak.
I've got "Conor's bitch".
You're my bitch
the rest of the time you're here.
Conor's taking the piss
with his bracelet.
I'm not your bitch.
I didn't get to speak to you.
I wasn't angry at you arriving.
Yeah, but you was defensive.
I was defensive. Holly didn't
give me a chance to say hello.
I like Aimee. She's hot. I'll get
her back on my side, no problem.
You've rocked up on the beach.
You're flipping 10 out of 10.
You look better than her,
like 110 percent.
She's gonna think, I'm not gonna
be able to get with him.
Classic Conor, pulling all
the lines, laying on the charm,
but I know what he's really like.
I'll tell her straight from the
start. I'll say, Aimee's here now.
I wanna talk with her.
I'll tell her.
I wanna enjoy time with you.
She likes me. I like her.
I'm showing a little bit
of charm and romance here.
I say we have a kiss, make up
and go and meet the guys.
Conor thinks he's a player,
but I'm gonna play him.
Deal?
You can have a peck.
I'm gonna go with the flow
and flirt with him a little bit.
If another guy comes along,
we'll see what happens.
(up-tempo music)
Somebody say full moon party?
Everyone looks wicked.
We've gotta catch up.
Yo, yo! It's your ex?
No, it was fucking Conor's ex.
Who? I'm shocked.
How does anyone find him attractive?
Conor is a lanky little twat.
Her name's Aimee. We stopped
sleeping together a month ago.
They started shagging
three weeks ago.
Bunny boiler me
has been doing her sums
and I think they're both lying.
The reason
I'm so fucking pissed off,
sorry am I the last person to know
that he's shagged half of England?
She knew and I didn't fucking know.
Conor is not
making a lot of friends here.
Things now are only gonna get worse.
'That's right, Gaz. They're gonna
get even worse than you can imagine
with more ex all stars
still to come.'
'Whose ex is next?'
What's happening.
(cheers)
What do these lot look like?
This is, erm, Aimee.
You all right?
She is fire (meows)
I don't give a shit
about your date.
I wanna know if you kissed her.
You didn't kiss?
He asked for a peck
and then that was it.
Conor thinks he's the biggest lad.
Babe,
I'm more of a lad than you are.
When was the last time
you fucked Aimee?
When was the first time
that you fucked Aimee?
Oh, no, here we go.
It was a month...
He can't remember that.
He's fucking loads of girls.
Exactly. March.
Are you fucking stupid?
Weeks before I come out here.
(sighs)
The girl that crossed over with you
was Kayleigh and it's not her. Fact.
There obviously was a cross-over.
I went home to Essex
two weeks before I come out here.
What, Mother's Day?
No.
I did see you at Mother's Day.
(others scream)
I tried to stay really calm.
Ohm...
Fuck off, Conor!
Why are you still lying?
Yeah, it's two weeks.
Even though we were sleeping
together on Mother's Day!
It's two weeks.
Why are you still lying?
You've told me I'm the cheat.
It's two weeks.
You were with me.
You was in Portsmouth.
I'm a nightclub promoter
and I think that I shagged
loads of girls and I'm a twat.
You were sleeping with me then!
I wasn't seeing you then, was I?
Yes, you were.
No, I wasn't.
What, am I magic...?
Am I Mystic fucking Meg
that I know what you're doing
if I wasn't still seeing you?
Mother's Day? I was with my mother.
What are you on about, Holly? Duh.
I wasn't with you.
Am I just making up what you did?
Holly's like a Jack Russell
nipping at your ankles.
Just, like, fuck off.
Leave me alone. Go somewhere else.
Hands up if you think Conor's gonna
get laid by the time he's finished.
Conor is a two-bob mug.
He's not getting laid anymore.
He's got no game.
How on earth did he pull Aimee?
Round of applause for Conor.
(cheers, applause)
Well done.
Who have you slept with?
I don't need to sleep with someone.
No one.
Stop running your mouth.
I'm in a good place right now.
Well done, you're in a good place.
You won't be for very long.
I think he wants to kiss me.
Come on, princess, oh, yeah, wow.
Hang on a minute, mate.
You're full of shit.
Which one's the princess?
You're a slippery snake.
Fucking hell,
stop bringing me into it, Conor.
I have nothing to do with this.
I know what's going on.
I have nothing to do with this.
Stop pointing fingers.
Oh, I wanna fucking kill that guy.
To happiness and good times! Woo!
Bear, you fucked with the wrong
person. I'm too smart for you, geez.
You don't play all the games.
Hang on a minute.
I've got a story for you all.
Chrysten's doing
her make-up yesterday.
I go downstairs into the bedroom.
I see in the reflection,
you're kissing her in the bathroom,
explain that for me.
(Ashley laughs)
Am I missing something?
Talk to me now, Bear.
Oh!
Come on, big man.
Gentleman over here, talk to me now.
Kissing her behind her back.
Maybe you wanted to kiss her
and you're seeing things.
They can't prove nothing.
I'm not bullshit. Chrysten,
did you kiss him in the bathroom?
I see it with my own eyes.
No, shush, is that true Chrysten?
Shh...
Shush! Chrysten, is it true?
Yes.
(all scream)
Didn't expect that.
I'm so embarrassed.
I couldn't lie anymore.
Lillie, you've pushed me to this.
Sorry, babe.
.
'Ex On The Beach is back.'
'This time it's all stars.'
'Old faces return
for another shot at finding love.'
Am I looking for love? Yeah.
'They'll have to endure their exes.'
I've never, ever
felt like this in my life.
'Some will have to deal
with old grudges.'
You've had more dicks
than I've had sun beds.
'And as hard as they try
to find their perfect match...'
Right, who wants to finger me?
'...standing in their way again
will be the Tablet of Terror.'
I won't lie,
I'm cacking myself big time.
'It's going to be hotter
than ever before...'
I wanna ride her. Giddy up, Aimee.
'...as emotions boil over.'
You made me realise that there's
more to life than what I was doing.
'Tensions run high.'
Dare you. I fucking dare you.
Let's fucking go, kid.
'And the claws come out.'
...to your face.
'So far, nine exes have arrived.'
'Whose...
She is the most toxic person
I have ever met.
'...ex...'
'...is...'
...next?'
I did not think
that I was gonna feel like this.
It's Alex.
OK?
I just literally love you so much.
I'd be fucked
if she was into some lad.
What have you been up to?
I've not slept with anyone.
I would like to trust Charlotte.
I don't wanna throw away six years.
I can't really bring myself to tell
Alex what I've been up to.
I've never met anyone
like you before.
But I get bored very easily.
I want Chrysten.
I can't do that to Lillie,
but I would love to fuck her
brains out.
I came here to get with Holly.
I do actually like the girl.
I'm not gonna go with anybody else.
I'll spend my time with you.
I don't wanna be associated when
she's running with her minge out.
It's disgusting.
Shall I bang you?
Give us some fucking action, man.
Jemma knows
I have feelings for Ashley.
I walk in to you fucking Ashley.
STI'd fucking slut,
you dare fucking touch me.
I'm pissed off with Ash
because he massively mugged me off,
so I'm ecstatic Jemma's gone.
I would like to sort stuff out
with Charlotte.
We were together for a long time.
There's history,
but it's just a trust thing
I want her to tell me
everything she's been up to
because I'm looking like a mug
acting happy with her
when I don't know the shit
she's been up to.
I've got to tell Alex
that I gave Bear a blowy,
had a three-way kiss
with Gaz and Olivia
and Jordan went down on me.
I feel like I've got
a black cloud over me.
He is, like, the love of my life.
I'm sweating cos I'm scared.
I'm not sure if I trust Bear.
I've only known him a few days.
But right now my instinct is just
telling me to trust Bear
until he does something wrong.
I got a little poem
for the situation I'm in.
Lillie, let me give you my willy
and if it doesn't happen soon,
Bear might get silly.
Morning, pussy cat.
Naughty Bear, naughty.
Everyone's gonna hate you,
but I don't care anymore
because I need to look after myself.
O-M-G. Bear's been flirting with me
and I'm really attracted to him.
Lillie has first grabs. I don't
wanna steal another boyfriend,
but he is hot.
Did you kiss anyone last night,
Holly?
Do you remember who you kissed
in the bedroom?
(gasps)
(laughter)
Hawley did you snog Holly
in the room last night?
(others laugh)
Oh, my God.
(laughs)
Are you being serious?
When you were kicking off,
you necked on with us.
What, I did to you?
Then you stick it on him
and he pushed you away (laughs).
No, I didn't.
We promised we weren't
gonna get with anyone.
What the fuck is Holly doing?
Conor, how do you feel about that?
I'm happy, mate.
I can't stand her anymore.
Oh! (laughs)
I don't believe that.
I think she's a tramp.
(gasps)
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God,
I don't believe that I did that.
It was going really well with Conor
and now I've proper fucked it.
You did.
That was boring. Fuck off.
You're a little tramp.
Why did no one tell me that
before breakfast?
I don't know what to do.
I was drunk and I said to him
it was just, it was, like,
I didn't even know I did it.
Why didn't Conor tell me?
I asked him.
I don't think Conor knew.
I was like, to Conor, "Can you
promise you won't get with anyone?"
And now I've done it
and I just feel really out of order.
'With the relationships on thin ice,
the Tablet of Terror is playing
cupid for once
and has sent Ashley and Kayleigh
on a flower arranging date.'
What's going on?
Are you gonna sulk the whole time?
I'm not sulking.
I'm feeling very nervous
because I don't really express
my true feelings to Ashley.
I never thought I would.
You came into the villa
as my ex, yeah?
The first night you had a threesome
with two girls
that's already had sex in the villa.
We've always had respect
for each other,
whereas the second he walked in,
I felt all of that was lost.
No, I did what I did
on the first night
because I'm me
and I do do some stupid things.
To be honest,
I can kind of see her point.
It's obvious I care for you.
Otherwise,
I would've not given a fuck.
I would've gone there with you
the next night, but it bothers me
because I'm not going there with you
and watch you fuck other people.
Cos, unlike Jemma, I
have some respect for myself.
I'm gonna end the pretending
and let's see where it can go now.
I don't wanna see you
with other people.
Why's that?
Because it hurts me.
And why else?
(laughs) Fuck off, Ashley.
Why else?
I'm interested. I wanna know.
Because it makes me jealous.
He can look at me, not even
do anything, and I'll smile.
No one has that ability but him.
I am apologising now
and I do want us to get on
because when you're smiling
with your little goofy smile...
It's a lot...
My goofy smile?
You've got such a goofy smile,
but it's cute.
I think we should go back
and get along. It's much more fun.
That way, you won't be sulking.
You'll enjoy yourself
and you might get lucky.
(laughs)
So, everyone's winning.
It does feel nice
to be laughing with him
because all we do is flirt,
laugh and have great sex
and we haven't done either
since he's been here.
So, if I do get lucky, you're not
gonna fuck off with someone else?
I didn't say that. I'm joking,
(laughs)
It depends how good you make me feel,
doesn't it?
'You may be laughing now, Kayleigh,
but you should know better than most,
this is Ex On The Beach
and happiness never lasts.'
'Whose ex is next?'
Well, who wants to do
any games later?
I got my lucky shirt on.
Everyone's happy,
but I can see a bit of tension
between Charlotte and Alex.
Alex, have you got anything to get
off your chest while we're all here?
Alex, is there anything you wanna
get off your fucking chest? Fuck off.
It's nice just
to clear the air sometimes.
It's all I'm gonna say on this one.
It's only fair that Alex
knows the truth in this situation.
So, I just asked a question
which will spark a feud.
Do you wanna go chat?
Clear the air?
I'm gonna see Charlotte
She's not told me the truth yet.
If it's a load of bullshit,
I'm just gonna tell her to fuck off.
Wanna do it in front of everybody?
No, I wanna speak on my own with you.
Can't do it in front of everybody.
I was waiting for the right time,
a private conversation.
Do it now. Then it's done.
Come on, Charlotte.
What have you been doing?
I got with two people.
I gave Bear a blowy.
Right.
And then, yeah, I did something
with someone else, Jordan.
Fucking fuming, man.
I'm not even arsed
about you sucking his dick.
I'm just arsed that you just lie.
How have I lied?
You sucking his dick's not an issue
cos they're not even
that good anyway.
He's not said anything
cos it's shit.
Oh, my God.
So, do you know what I mean?
Oh, right. OK, pal.
A below-average blow job?
Are you joking me?
You've been with me for six years.
Why do you keep coming back to me?
Just stop lying. Who else?
Fuck off, you stupid prick. Fuck off.
You can't handle the truth.
She just goes on the attack
straight away.
Fuck off!
You absolute little gimp.
Hilarious.
You can't handle the fucking truth.
'Well, that went well.'
'Maybe Holly making it
up to Conor will go better.'
I don't know what you're thinking.
Fuck's sake. Here it comes.
The whole Hawley thing was just,
like, I was just drunk...
No.
It was just one kiss, Conor.
That's one kiss too many.
You've fucked him.
You've been fingered and kissed him.
Because I heard...
What have I done? Fuck all.
I heard you shagged behind my back.
Yeah, I have.
I have. There was a point when I was
nervous about telling the truth,
but after last night,
I couldn't give two flying fucks.
And I'm glad I did because it proves
that you was just as bad as me.
Happy days.
Are you serious?Yeah.
Am I stupid or something?
Are you fucking winding me up?
I've come in here...
Are you winding me up?
Are you really that scared of me
that it's taken you all this time
to fucking tell me that?
How have you got
any fucking leg to stand on
if you did shag all them
girls behind my back.
Go.
I don't want to get with Hawley!
I want to get with you!
Why are you telling me
you shagged girls?
Are you fucking joking?
Ah, shut up, love. You're boring.
How many times
did I fucking ask you?
I was gonna tell you and then
together and sorting things out
and then you kiss the geezer
that you fucked before I arrived.
I think she's a ho. Piss off.
Go with Hawley. I'm not interested.
Like, I'm done with it.
I'm gonna leave it at that.
Like, I can't be arsed with it.
Fuck off.
You're a fucking bell end.
How many girls?
How many girls was it?
You silly little boy.
The whole time we were sleeping
together meant nothing?
I was drunk.
Was I not good enough?
Why did you shag other girls?
I was drunk.
La, la, la, la, la, la.
We were fine.
Why did you feel the need to shag
all them girls behind my back?
Why are you only telling me now?
I don't understand why.
I don't wanna be with you, do I?
Fuck off, you stupid fucking cunt.
Run off. Get your fanny out.
It's always out
and it's gonna stay out.
My fanny's pretty anyway.
Everyone wants to fucking see it.
Good, because you're a massive slag.
Stupid fucking cunt!
Fuck off!
(all) Hi.
Hello, sexy people.
So what did you do? How was it?
It was actually good
to get some one on one time
and so she can be honest
with herself and me.
We're finally at peace
and I'll be getting right deep
in some pussy tonight. It's standard.
What's gone on here?
Conor decided to tell me that
he did sleep with all them girls.
How many girls?
Don't know. Can't remember.
I don't know. I lost count.
What if one of these girls turns up?
Please don't say that to me.
I'll fucking rip her head off.
She's gonna be fitter than you.
Why are you being like that?
There's no need to get nasty, Conor.
You're in the fucking wrong,
so don't get fucking lairy!
I hate him.
This is what I deal with
every night.
You're in the wrong!
Anyone would react the same!
Stupid, fucking, skinny
little prick!
Let the battles commence tonight.
I'm just stretching. Getting ready.
It's always interesting
in this gaff.
You fucking told me a little bit
of what you'd been up to,
I put on a brave face.
All you've done is scratch
the surface and you're saying to me,
"Oh, I want this to be
an honest relationship."
What's annoyed me is not
what she's done. It's her lying.
If you can't trust someone,
you can't be with them.
I wanna hear what you've been up
to whilst I've not been here.
OK, that's fine.
Oh, God. It's so hard.
I kissed Gaz with Olivia.
A three-way kiss.
There. That's one thing.
Then I've, with Bear, did that.
What did you? What was you and Bear?
Well, you know.
Right, so who else?
What else have you done?
And then Jordan. Went on a date
with Jordan and he went down on me.
There we go.
All right, cool.
Don't tell half a story
and fucking... and that's it.
We're meant to be building bridges.
How are we meant to get past this?
Have a good time.
You have a good time.
Oh, yeah.
Cheers.
Don't cock block me and don't...
Darling, have a fucking great time.
Have a good time!
Don't put a ball and chain on me.
Do it front of my face.
Accept the circumstances.
That's all I'm saying.
And what's that?
What's the circumstances?
Or consequences.
You don't even know the word.
Just fuck off!
If you kiss a girl in front of me,
just accept it.
I fucking will kick off. Trust me.
I'm not gonna disrespect you,
so there you go.
Lol, you're giving blokes chewies
and letting lads go down on you
and you're going on about me
kissing a girl? Lol.
Have you... Oh, lol. Oh, my God,
shut up, you absolute gimp.
She is fucking crazy. (laughs)
If you were in this before me,
you wouldn't do anything?
You're mad about me kissing and
you're letting lads go down on you.
Fuck off! You fucking prick.
Fuck off.
That's two tots. That's two tots.
I fucking hate you.
Typical, when she gets backed
into a corner,
she starts going on the attack.
The only thing she could think
of doing was throw a drink.
It's always my fault.
What the fuck do you get up to?
Because it's probably the truth.
I am fucking single. So are you!
You are so thick. I didn't
give a shit what you'd done.
You don't tell the truth.
It wasn't the right time.
Draw a fucking line under it.
Right.
He's not a fucking angel.
'With Alex and Charlotte's
relationship falling to pieces,
who'll be left with their head in
their hands when the next ex arrives?
'T minus 10 hours.'
Mmm, mmm, mmm.
Are you my bamba?
(laughs)
Lillie's great.
She's beautiful. She's kind.
But Chrysten, she's sexy,
raunchy and I wanna rip
her little panties off.
I see Chrysten walk to the bathroom.
I thought it's time to strike.
I'm in a dilemma.
What?
I really fancy you,
but I'm sort of seeing Lillie.
Yeah, I know.
It's really hard. Do you fancy me?
Do you wanna be my secret?
I don't how I feel.
How are you supposed
to keep that a secret?
Feels good.
It's quite exciting having
a secret kiss no one can see.
Give me a little smoochie
on the woochie.
Do-be-do-be-do. Wash my hands.
I'll meet you upstairs.
Our little secret. Mum's the word.
Fuck.
Ha, ha!
I think I've got away with this one.
It's getting hot up there again.
Huh?
'Ooh, this could get awkward.'
You've got like sting...
stingy lip gloss on.
(laughs)
You're the prettiest in the world.
Am I?
Yeah, I think you are.
Give me a kiss.
Chrysten is my sexy little secret
and she's put there.
We're gonna close her up
and kiss her.
Hold on a minute, babe.
Don't tell no one. Shushee.
Shushee, Chrysten.
Has anything happened? No, yes?
'With Bear and Chrysten's naughty
little secret safe for now,
everyone's bedding down
for the night.'
'But it seems Alex
can't get past Charlotte's betrayal.'
This is the most embarrassing
situation I've ever been.
If I hadn't have come,
I wouldn't have got the truth.
Mate, mate, honestly, come here.
Come here.
Mate, honestly.
Fuck me, man.
Listen, look at us. Look at us.
Look at us. Come on.
(indistinct)
Mate, I went for a chat
with Lillie.
Just had the worst day of my life.
This morning I literally feel the
best I've felt since I've been here.
I had no drama last night
for the first night ever.
I woke up with my Bear. (laughs)
Give me a cuddle. Give me a cuddle.
I think
Bear's slightly sexually frustrated.
I'm so bored of Lillie.
I wanna get my cock wet.
So I've steered right.
What's her name again? Chrysten.
Last night, I can tell
Chrysten wanted to kiss me,
so I done the right thing.
I waited till she went downstairs
and I give her a snog.
Oi, oi.
I walk in and have
to drop a bombshell to Lillie
about her ex cheating on her with me
and now I'm kissing her man.
Awkward!
I've got a smile on my face,
so I can't be feeling that guilty.
Last night I was very angry.
everything came out in the open.
I would like to get back with Alex.
I wanna apologise
and try and make a go of it
cos I love him so much.
I'd be talking shit if I didn't say
Charlotte was the love of my life.
If she apologises,
then we'll see what happens.
Me and Conor have been sleeping
together for the past year
and from the get-go,
I heard he was shagging other girls
and he always denied it,
He's taken the piss out of me
He's got no excuse and he's making
me look like an idiot.
Me and Holly, we're totally done.
As soon as the new arrival comes,
I'll crack on.
What happened between
Ashley and Kayleigh?
We fucked.
(laughter)
It felt like it was a mixture
of making love and fucking.
What happened with you, Bear?
Me and Lillie
just cuddled all night.
It was, it was fucking nuts, yeah.
I give her a cuddle and then I
kissed her lips and... Roar. Crazy.
This guy is a fucking joker.
His cock is as dry
as the Sahara Desert,
all talk, no action.
Bear's balls have
got a heartbeat now.
It's not gonna happen.
I'm thinking about having
an affair. What do you reckon?
(laughter)
And Lillie's next to me laughing.
(laughs)
Oh, naughty Bear.
Go have a secret affair
behind her back.
(laughter)
No, I wouldn't do that.
I just wanna apologise...
Yeah.
...For last night, for swilling you.
Two or three times.
(both laugh)
And I'm sorry for what's happened.
We are meant to be with each other
and I wanna make everything right.
I know you want me
to tell you everything outright,
but how do I know that you wouldn't
have just got up and left me?
I get what you mean.
I didn't want it to go from
us not being together at all
and being exes
to coming in the house
straight away and being so full on.
Charlotte and I know
what buttons to press.
We just need to just chill out.
I wanna be with you.
I know it's gonna be baby steps
and I'm not gonna disrespect you.
I'm not gonna go near anybody.
Everyone else is different.
We were together six years.
Nobody's been like that.
No one's been through what we have.
Being in this villa has made me
realise I wanna get back with Alex.
He is nothing like
these little boys in here.
He's genuine. He's honest. He's loyal
and he is the love of my life.
Come here.
Baby steps.
(laughs)
'It looks like happiness
and harmony have been restored,
but how long before it
descends into heartbreak and hatred?'
'Next ex, T minus one hour.'
(Tablet rings)
(all groan)
Could be anything.
Wave goodbye to the villa
for Bear and Chrysten.
Yeah, get in there, my son!
You're off on a date,
sent from the Tablet of Terror.
I can tell the Tablet of Terror
is trying to get us caught,
what a shit stirrer.
(all) Ooh!
This is going
to get very interesting.
Probably not my first choice to be
sent on a date with Bear right now.
You happy to go
on a date with me or not?
Yeah.
I'm seeing Lillie, so no kissing.
You gotta promise.
Promise. Would I lie?
Have fun you two.
Have fun.
Stop it.
Holy shit,
I hope we don't get caught.
She'll have made both my boyfriends
cheat on me if she kisses him.
'The Tablet of Terror
has sent Holly, Conor
and Gaz to meet the new arrival.'
I just hate this place, man.
I know I hate this beach!
I've been here three times
and had three exes.
Last time,
Chrysten came out the water.
one thing I never expected,
so God knows what the hell
can happen on that beach.
Oh, I feel sick.
I don't wanna be here.
Have you banged
anyone behind my back?
No, Conor,
but I wish I did now.
If one of them slags that Conor
was shagging when he was seeing me
comes out of that water,
I'm gonna go ape shit on him.
If it's mine, I'm getting
drenched again and I know it.
By me or by her?
Probably both.
(laughs)
I can see it coming already.
Imagine I'm living with Lillie,
the ex, the girl I cheated on with,
banging Olivia.
Can't get more fucked.
There's only two in there girls
who aren't my exes.
Gaz, if it's mine you're gonna be
laughing your nut off
cos I'm gonna have
two girls going at me...
It was the same time.
Is that what you're saying?
No, maybe...
Tell me before she gets here
cos I'm gonna ask her.
I haven't got a clue.
How's this for excitement?
Hold on tight, babe. Put your legs
around Bear's big machine.
(screams)
Woo!
(laughs)
He's an insane jet ski driver.
Woo!
I really wanna ride you later.
Oh, Bear!
(laughs)
(screams)
It's like a love story,
me and you, I think.
Is it?
Reckon we get together at the end?
Don't know.
I want to.
I just wanna fuck Chrysten
and go back to Lillie and cuddle
cos Lillie is not putting out.
'Ooh, charming.'
But I don't wanna
leave Lillie just yet,
I wanna have some fun with you.
I don't wanna
make you feel pressured.
Yeah, we're having fun.
Bear's a funny guy.
I just wanna see where it goes,
not fall head over heels.
Do you reckon me and you ever get
caught for what we're up to?
I don't know.
Conor always seems to be there.
He does, don't he? Like, when he
walked in yesterday,
reckon he saw anything?
When you kissed me,
you could hear that you kissed.
I'm terrified
of someone finding out,
but we'll have to stay
one step ahead.
If he says anything, deny it.
Promise you're not gonna tell?
Promise.
Chrysten seems happy
keeping this a secret.
Fine by me.
Mate, my belly is doing cartwheels.
I am fucking shitting myself.
I hate this beach.
I feel like I'm gonna be sick.
Oh, that Tablet of Terror prick,
that's what does it.
Shit's gonna hit the fan.
Four girls, man, and the girl
you're sleeping with. Wicked.
It's just fucked up.
It's not mine.
Thank fuck it's not my ex.
Didn't even notice her.
(sighs)
Yeah, how are you? (laughs)
Oh, how are you?
Oh, it's mine. Great.
Fuck, it's Aimee.
What the fuck are you doing here?
I thought it was yours.
Didn't even recognise her.
Oh, fuck off.
How are you?
I'm Aimee. I'm from Colchester.
In some ways,
I am your typical Essex girl.
I love a sunbed and getting
glammed up for a night out.
I recently came out
of a four-year relationship,
Conor came along and charmed me.
We were happy, having fun
and then I find out he slept
with someone two days after me.
I felt physically sick.
Conor thinks he's this big player,
but he's just a boy
and he needs to be taken down a peg
and I'm the girl to do it.
Sorry, what's your name?
Aimee.
Nice to meet you. I'm Holly.
Fucking go home.
So, erm, how long were you
with Conor for?
I only saw him like two weeks ago.
What?
Conor is a stupid little prick.
I wasn't with you then.
How long before that?
Three weeks.
You stopped sleeping with me
and started with her.
Did it cross over? I'd like to know.
No, it didn't cross over.
Are you sure?
(laughs) It blatantly did.
This is awkward.
It blatantly did.
Fuck knows what I've walked into.
We've been together
for the past year
and we only stopped
about a month ago.
So, is this another one to add
to the list that you shagged?
She knows about the fucking list.
How the fuck does she know
and I didn't?
Are you fucking joking me?
I can't live in a house with someone
you shagged behind my back.
I was past you.
It didn't cross over.
She knows you shagged other girls.
They crossed over.
Shock, it's Holly running her mouth,
not listening to anyone.
Why am I only being told now?
I told you.
By someone I've just met.
I don't even know her name.
I told you.
Holly is definitely a bit loopy,
but I don't blame her.
He done it to me as well.
What do you mean to you?
You slept with someone
two days after me.
Someone in Birmingham.
Aimee starts teaming up with Holly.
And don't lie.
Wait a minute.
I'm not gonna say their name.
Every fucking day,
more shit comes out of the woodwork
with that prick.
Bank holiday weekend?
Yeah.
You fucking joking me?
I asked you about that weekend!
I asked you about that weekend.
I wasn't with you.
I don't give a flying fuck!
Yes, you were, Conor! You were!
You were at my house. You stayed
at my house the weekend before!
My hair's more important than you.
Stop throwing drinks, slag.
I wasn't with you.
Oh, my God, literally, I can't.
I can't deal with this situation.
(Tablet rings)
(sighs)
For fuck's sake!
It's gonna send
Conor and her on a date.
Fucking stupid Tablet's
going in the sea.
"Welcome to the beach, Aimee."
OK.
"You're off on a..."
For fuck's sake.
I can't even read it.
"You're off on a date with Conor
to make a holiday memento
you'll never forget.
From the Tablet of Terror."
Who am I on a date with?
Aimee.
Aimee. This'll be fun.
I can work my charm with her
and get her back tonight.
Oh, wow.
Nice to see you too, mate.
I'm fucking fuming.
I'll fuck her.
'Half of the villa
are restless for love.'
'The rest of them
just want to party.'
'And on top of it,
it's a full moon.'
(howling)
Moon party, mother fuckers!
(screaming)
Me and Ashley are back.
I'm having the time of my life. Woo!
Me and Alex,
we're finally back together.
(cheers)
(cheers)
No one gives a fuck about your date.
All we wanna know is did yous kiss?
I am the best liar. There's no way.
Nothing's coming from me.
No.
Never know. What was you expecting?
Of course I kissed Chrysten.
What do you think, hey?
You're all mugs.
We just had fun. It was on jet skis
all day. It was a good day out, man.
It was good fun.
Did you wanna kiss him?
No.
I think it's just a good friendship.
This is so awkward.
No, we never. To be honest,
I wanted to but I found Lillie,
so it's not fair on her.
I am relieved Bear
and Chrysten didn't kiss, obviously,
cos I do like Bear.
No kisses, please. No kisses.
You'll ruin the painting.
I've got Lillie here like, "Bear,
don't kiss me, mess my make-up up."
I want to look pretty.
Then you've got Chrysten.
Get in the bathroom and fuck me.
'Conor's still keen to rekindle
things with his ex Aimee
and what better way to do it
than make each other bracelets?'
'How cute.'
It's romantic.
We're making bracelets,
I can finally put my charm
into this bracelet
and give it to Aimee. Perfect.
(laughs) Oh, my God.
It says "freak".
He is a freak.
I've got "Conor's bitch".
You're my bitch
the rest of the time you're here.
Conor's taking the piss
with his bracelet.
I'm not your bitch.
I didn't get to speak to you.
I wasn't angry at you arriving.
Yeah, but you was defensive.
I was defensive. Holly didn't
give me a chance to say hello.
I like Aimee. She's hot. I'll get
her back on my side, no problem.
You've rocked up on the beach.
You're flipping 10 out of 10.
You look better than her,
like 110 percent.
She's gonna think, I'm not gonna
be able to get with him.
Classic Conor, pulling all
the lines, laying on the charm,
but I know what he's really like.
I'll tell her straight from the
start. I'll say, Aimee's here now.
I wanna talk with her.
I'll tell her.
I wanna enjoy time with you.
She likes me. I like her.
I'm showing a little bit
of charm and romance here.
I say we have a kiss, make up
and go and meet the guys.
Conor thinks he's a player,
but I'm gonna play him.
Deal?
You can have a peck.
I'm gonna go with the flow
and flirt with him a little bit.
If another guy comes along,
we'll see what happens.
(up-tempo music)
Somebody say full moon party?
Everyone looks wicked.
We've gotta catch up.
Yo, yo! It's your ex?
No, it was fucking Conor's ex.
Who? I'm shocked.
How does anyone find him attractive?
Conor is a lanky little twat.
Her name's Aimee. We stopped
sleeping together a month ago.
They started shagging
three weeks ago.
Bunny boiler me
has been doing her sums
and I think they're both lying.
The reason
I'm so fucking pissed off,
sorry am I the last person to know
that he's shagged half of England?
She knew and I didn't fucking know.
Conor is not
making a lot of friends here.
Things now are only gonna get worse.
'That's right, Gaz. They're gonna
get even worse than you can imagine
with more ex all stars
still to come.'
'Whose ex is next?'
What's happening.
(cheers)
What do these lot look like?
This is, erm, Aimee.
You all right?
She is fire (meows)
I don't give a shit
about your date.
I wanna know if you kissed her.
You didn't kiss?
He asked for a peck
and then that was it.
Conor thinks he's the biggest lad.
Babe,
I'm more of a lad than you are.
When was the last time
you fucked Aimee?
When was the first time
that you fucked Aimee?
Oh, no, here we go.
It was a month...
He can't remember that.
He's fucking loads of girls.
Exactly. March.
Are you fucking stupid?
Weeks before I come out here.
(sighs)
The girl that crossed over with you
was Kayleigh and it's not her. Fact.
There obviously was a cross-over.
I went home to Essex
two weeks before I come out here.
What, Mother's Day?
No.
I did see you at Mother's Day.
(others scream)
I tried to stay really calm.
Ohm...
Fuck off, Conor!
Why are you still lying?
Yeah, it's two weeks.
Even though we were sleeping
together on Mother's Day!
It's two weeks.
Why are you still lying?
You've told me I'm the cheat.
It's two weeks.
You were with me.
You was in Portsmouth.
I'm a nightclub promoter
and I think that I shagged
loads of girls and I'm a twat.
You were sleeping with me then!
I wasn't seeing you then, was I?
Yes, you were.
No, I wasn't.
What, am I magic...?
Am I Mystic fucking Meg
that I know what you're doing
if I wasn't still seeing you?
Mother's Day? I was with my mother.
What are you on about, Holly? Duh.
I wasn't with you.
Am I just making up what you did?
Holly's like a Jack Russell
nipping at your ankles.
Just, like, fuck off.
Leave me alone. Go somewhere else.
Hands up if you think Conor's gonna
get laid by the time he's finished.
Conor is a two-bob mug.
He's not getting laid anymore.
He's got no game.
How on earth did he pull Aimee?
Round of applause for Conor.
(cheers, applause)
Well done.
Who have you slept with?
I don't need to sleep with someone.
No one.
Stop running your mouth.
I'm in a good place right now.
Well done, you're in a good place.
You won't be for very long.
I think he wants to kiss me.
Come on, princess, oh, yeah, wow.
Hang on a minute, mate.
You're full of shit.
Which one's the princess?
You're a slippery snake.
Fucking hell,
stop bringing me into it, Conor.
I have nothing to do with this.
I know what's going on.
I have nothing to do with this.
Stop pointing fingers.
Oh, I wanna fucking kill that guy.
To happiness and good times! Woo!
Bear, you fucked with the wrong
person. I'm too smart for you, geez.
You don't play all the games.
Hang on a minute.
I've got a story for you all.
Chrysten's doing
her make-up yesterday.
I go downstairs into the bedroom.
I see in the reflection,
you're kissing her in the bathroom,
explain that for me.
(Ashley laughs)
Am I missing something?
Talk to me now, Bear.
Oh!
Come on, big man.
Gentleman over here, talk to me now.
Kissing her behind her back.
Maybe you wanted to kiss her
and you're seeing things.
They can't prove nothing.
I'm not bullshit. Chrysten,
did you kiss him in the bathroom?
I see it with my own eyes.
No, shush, is that true Chrysten?
Shh...
Shush! Chrysten, is it true?
Yes.
(all scream)
Didn't expect that.
I'm so embarrassed.
I couldn't lie anymore.
Lillie, you've pushed me to this.
Sorry, babe.
.