Catfish: The TV Show (2012–…): Season 6, Episode 21 - When Catfish Broke the Internet - full transcript
Moments from "Catfish" that went viral are featured alongside funny tweets and memes from fans.
- Hey, welcome to a very
dope "Catfish" special
where you'll be joining me,
Charlamagne Tha God,
and I am a "Catfish" superfan.
This time we
are celebrating when you
became part of the show
with your tweets and memes.
That's right, we've taken the
moments that have gone viral,
and put them together.
- He and I are talking.
- Who the [bleep] does
this person think they are?
- So you really put
a dildo there?
- Yeah, yeah,
yeah, yeah, yeah.
- What the [bleep].
Are you serious?
- That's seven years of
my life that I can't get back
'cause you like to play games.
This ain't [bleep] Nintendo.
♪ ♪
[cat meows]
- When "Catfish"
first premiered
on MTV six seasons ago,
the Internet didn't know
what to make of it.
- "Catfish."
- Who was it?
- I don't know.
- Hello?
Yeah, we got an email.
Hi, I'm Nev.
A couple years ago,
I fell in love online.
I thought I fell
in love with Megan,
but Megan was really Angela.
I was heartbroken.
- However,
when Nev explained his story,
which may or may not
have been an elaborate lie
just to pitch
this television show,
everybody was hooked.
- Suddenly my inbox
was exploding with emails.
I think we should pursue
every single one of these leads,
and we should make
a show of it.
- Who would name a show
"Catfish?"
It was like MTV's
best idea in 20 years.
And right from
the first episode,
Twitter was in love
with "Catfish."
Remember Sunny and her
online boo, Jamison?
She reached out to Nev
to help
finally meet the guy
of her dreams
she had been talking
to him online,
but fans and the Internet
had little faith
Sunny was gonna find
her Prince Charming.
- Tell me exactly what he does.
- He is a model for
Request Modeling Agency.
We have a very
emotional connection.
- Okay.
- He is one of the writers
for "Chelsea Lately,"
and he writes, like,
you know, all the cue cards
and everything.
- That seems crazy though.
Doesn't that seem weird to you?
You don't make a lot of money
writing cue cards.
- That, yeah, I mean,
that's true.
He's going to be
a anesthesiologist.
He does online classes.
- Okay.
- You can't help
what the heart wants.
It just does.
- Man, you guys are harsh,
and I love it.
- Wait, guys,
guys, guys, guys.
- Hello?
- Hello.
- Hi.
- We were looking for Jamison.
- I know.
- So is he here?
- It's me.
- What?
- Obviously, you're not a man.
- Obviously.
- So are you, like, attracted
to girls or something?
- No.
- It's a little surprising to me
that you're not
more apologetic.
- Normally, if it was
any other person here,
and I didn't have
people watching me,
and I knew
I couldn't be filmed,
I would take you out like none
other, and that's not a threat.
- Okay, you know,
I'm twice your size.
- As we all know,
"Catfish's" premiere
gave us the first
of many memorable moments
to take the Internet by storm.
I mean, I personally,
couldn't get enough of it.
I thoroughly enjoyed
watching people's
love and dreams being crushed.
It's pure entertainment.
- I got an email here
from a guy named Ramon.
- 19-year-old Ramon
met Paola online
and without ever having
seen her fell in love.
Another fool
doing foolish things.
- I gave her
my bank information.
- What?
Dude.
- Have you ever just
sent her money?
- Yeah.
- How much?
- A couple of thousand, maybe.
- "This dude sent Paola
a couple thousand dollars
"without meeting her?
Childdddd.
#Catfish."
That's what a lot of us
were thinking.
- Hi, Ramon.
- I'm going to assume
that your name is Loyda?
- Yeah.
- Not only was Ramon
giving Loyda,
aka Paola, money,
Loyda used the money to buy
herself an engagement ring
then posted up on social media
a fake letter from Ramon
saying he proposed to her.
- I looked at your page,
your real page,
and found a picture of a ring
and a message that looked
like it was from me.
- He sent her that ring.
- I never sent her
a ring at all.
- Whatever.
- No, not, not whatever.
It's important.
These details are important.
- No, whatever.
- You're not really
hearing everything.
- Yes, I am.
- No, you're not.
- Yes, I am.
- Your daughter's a liar.
- My daughter is a liar?
- Say it with me now.
all: What about Ramon, what
about Ramon, what about Ramon?
- Ramon has his own issues
to deal with.
- I can see that.
- "What about Ramon?"
Roll the clip.
I don't think any of us can
forget Kristen and Mike.
Mike fell hard for Kristen
who lived just 40 miles
away from him,
but according to him,
she didn't want to meet
because of a handicap.
- She was involved
in a car accident.
The windshield broke,
glass shattered,
and it got into her eye,
so she has a fake eye now.
She's got some
nice curves to her
from the other
provocative photos
that I've seen that I will not
disclose to you guys.
- And have you reciprocated?
- Yeah, I have, yeah.
- In a similar fashion?
- Similar fashion.
Full frontal nudity
with my face included also.
Ah.
- And in classic "Catfish"
style, Kristen, of course,
was not who she presented
herself to be in the pictures.
- I'm Kristen.
- Nice to meet you, Nev.
- Nice to meet you, too.
- Ah, come on downstairs.
One of the things that we were
very curious about
was your accident.
Is that something
that happened or--
- That is all true.
- A ton of people
felt sorry for the catfish,
Kristen, due to her losing
her eye in an accident,
but Kristen was able
to have all of us laughing
and writing
some eye-popping tweets.
- I'm starting to become
my goofy self again.
Like being whacky,
taking my eye out.
- You just--
you can just pop it out?
- [laughs] Yes.
- Can you just pop it back
in when you're done?
- Yeah.
- You don't need to, like,
rinse or sanitize.
- No, no.
- There's really only
one thing left to do.
- Okay.
- Can I touch it?
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
- Beauty is in the eye
of the beholder.
- Then I just
pop it back in.
- Just pop that eye
back in, Kristen.
- I got this. I can do it.
- Get it, girl.
Keep those laptops on
because we'll be right back
with more of your comments
on some of your favorite
episodes, coming up.
[cat meows]
[cat meows]
- Welcome back, "Catfish" fans.
This next one had everyone
generating comments.
Artis wasn't happy in his
real-life relationship
and was emotionally
cheating with Jess.
- Going behind her back
and sneaking around,
it's not cool, and I don't
want to be part of that.
- My boys, Nev and Max, made
him break it off with the girl
before agreeing to help find
who Artis believed to be
his one true love.
- All right, so your current
relationship is totally over.
- Yeah, it's totally over.
- It was the "Catfish"
vigilantes, like Batman,
except really creepy,
not rich, and no cool costume.
Everyone put your hands
together slow-ly.
- Excuse me.
- [bleep] this, man, for real.
- Don't touch me.
- You better back up, man.
- Don't touch me.
- You better back up.
- What the [bleep]
kind of [bleep] is this?
- You better chill out, man.
- We're talking.
Him and I are talking.
[overlapping talking]
- He and I are talking.
I can tell you
one thing right now, buddy.
One thing you're gonna like,
you're gonna learn
to love it too--
- What the hell are you
talking about, dude?
- I'm gonna be the one wearing
the pants in this one.
Understand that?
- Dude.
- You can still be
my chocolate kiss, too.
You don't forget
about that, baby.
- Are you Jess?
- Yeah, I'm Jess.
- You're Jess?
- Yeah.
- Man, [bleep].
What, man?
- I'm gonna take
a stab at this.
- Sure.
- You're gay.
- Obviously, I'm not gay.
- Well, it's not so obvious.
I mean, you are pretending
to be a girl online
and having a romantic
relationship with a guy, so...
- I give it to you,
you got me there.
- Right.
- So--hey, maybe.
- If you ask me,
that dude should be banned
from using
his computer forever,
and Artis should
stay single forever.
This next one takes it up
to a whole new level of dirty,
and I'm sure a few livestock
were offended as well.
- "My name is Keyonnah,
I'm 19 years old,
"and I live in a small town
called Cameron, North Carolina.
"I'm currently in an online
"turned very passionate
relationship
"with someone who appears
to be the rapper Bow Wow.
"We have even tried
to video chat a few times,
"but it's always a bad
connection on his end.
"The things he does
keep me believing
"that this might
actually be real.
He sent over
ten thousand dollars."
- But it turns out
Lil' Bow Wow was really
a 23-year-old girl
named Dee Pimpin,
who liked to fool straight
women into sleeping with her.
All I know is
I don't think any of us
will ever look at lambs
the same way.
- Well...
- Oh.
- We came here, obviously,
to introduce you to Keyonnah.
- How you doing, Keyonnah?
Hey, I never lied about
my true feelings for you.
I just lied about the person.
- I'm not gay, so, like,
this couldn't move forward.
- Have you had to get
over straight girls
who weren't interested
in you before?
- Not really.
- You always were able
to convert them?
- Mm-hmm.
- You just pass
as a guy and then
while they're hooking up
and, like, feeling you up, like,
they feel that something's
missing, and then what happens?
- No, no, no,
that's why I say
I don't want to
tell you on camera.
- So you--
you put a dildo there?
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's like a real
lambskin dildo.
[sheep bleats]
It's like human skin,
but it's lamb.
[sheep bleating]
And, like, it feels real.
Like, I fooled a lot
of chicks like that.
[sheep bleats]
- That's just wrong.
I don't think lamb skin
should be wasted on a dildo.
Regular skin dildos
work just fine.
This next one was like
a viral gift from the gods.
18-year-old
Solana wanted to find
Elijah to figure out if
the 5-year Internet romance
was worth pursuing.
- Wow.
- Oh, my God.
- Yeah, you look gorgeous.
- Hi.
Oh, my God.
I can't believe
I'm meeting you right now.
- This is insane.
- How are you?
- I'm awesome.
I'm nervous now.
- You're real.
- Yeah.
- I'm real. They're real.
- Is the hair real?
- Yeah, my hair's real.
- Wow.
- I figure we're all
in a little bit of shock.
And why are you so famous?
- Uh...
- Because he has awesome hair.
- Yeah, I definitely think
it's the image.
- Elijah, if you're watching,
keep doing you, bro.
Rock on with that
Motley Crue looking 'do.
If you thought it was just
gonna take some bad hair
to break the Internet,
check out what we got coming up.
[cat meows]
[phone ringing, cat meowing]
- And we're back.
This time with stories
that really put the "crazy"
in "seriously crazy."
Blaire met Markie
on Instagram
during a time when she was
basically homeless and suicidal.
When Blaire wanted
to finally meet Markie
after four months
of chatting,
Markie said she was kidnapped.
- "A week before
I was supposed to meet her,
she got kidnapped."
- I saved money from work,
and I bought her a plane ticket
from California to New York,
and then no one
knows where she is.
The cops
are looking for her.
- And then called Blaire
from a mental institution
telling her that
they should be friends.
Red flags on the play all
over the place, right, guys?
- "She calls me from
a mental hospital,
and Markie decided it was best
if we were just friends."
- I called her dad and
I was like, "Where is she?"
and he's like, "Well,
I'm not gonna get into it,
but she's not coming."
- Roller coaster.
- Pretty much.
- This next one had
everyone telling our hopeful
to head for the hills.
Remember, boys and girls,
catfish are creepy.
- Pleased to meet you, Markie.
- Well, you're very excited.
- I'm very, very excited.
I'm trying not to, like,
jump into her arms and
plow her down to the floor.
- That's not exactly
the reaction that I expected.
- Yeah, if anything,
we've been kind of ready for--
- The worst?
[maniacal laughter]
- You didn't come to New York,
and then she got a strange
phone call from you saying
that you were in a hospital of
some kind and then it was over.
- I never got answers,
I never got reasons,
and that's all I want is why.
- So I was 17, and the man
pretty much didn't kidnap me.
I went on my own.
- What? What?
- He persuaded me
to go with him
because of issues that would
happen in New York that he saw.
- He saw issues. How could he?
I don't get this.
- Was he an ex of yours?
- No, it's a very
private situation.
I can't really let out names.
- I know this probably feels
like an interrogation.
I don't want it to,
But you have a reputation
for not telling the truth.
- I'm a psychotic, crazy person,
I have a semi lying problem,
and I'm absolutely
in love with you.
I want to be
a part of your life.
I want to be there for you.
I want to be the person
you can cry on.
- I'm gonna interrupt.
The worst thing you can do
for her right now is that.
If you care about someone,
be real with them.
You're just lying
and just hurting both of you.
- I'm not gonna lie,
but there are some people
you run away from,
and, Markie, girl,
I'm not even playing with you.
For all you artists out there,
get your stencils ready
for this next one that took
the Internet by storm.
And ladies, no matter
if it's a picture via phone,
email or carrier pigeon,
those dick pics are a sign
to say, "Bye, Felicia."
- "My name is Andrea.
"I've been in an on-and-off
relationship
for almost ten years."
- Andrea met David
on an old-school website
when she was back
in middle school.
They became boyfriend
and girlfriend,
but during their ten-year
relationship, they never met.
Girl, ten years and you ain't
met the dude? Come on, now.
You got to at least test drive
the car physically first.
- He sent you letters?
- Mm-hmm.
- What did it say?
- It's over there, actually,
if you want to read it.
- Yeah, I want to see it.
"I love you, baby.
I wish I was next to you,
on top of you, [bleep] you."
Oh, wow.
- What is that?
- Is that an outline of--
- It's hard to even--
- Did he just lay it down on
a table and, like, trace it?
Is that what that is?
- That looks like what
that's supposed to be.
- I know, right?
- All right, we've entered
into a whole new level
of "Catfish"
correspondence here.
- "I'm going to start
tracing my dick
"and giving it to girls
I'm talking to.
"#Catfish.
#CatfishMTV.
#DickTracy."
How do you trace your dick?
Like oh--
I guess you could, right?
I might try that.
While Nev and Max were exposing
the tricksters out there,
the Internet obsession
with the two of them
grew and grew like
an excited teenager,
and even though everyone loves
"Catfish" for the stories,
I'm starting to wonder
if everyone wasn't just
watching for our hunky hosts.
And there is a definite
bromance going on.
I mean, come on.
We all thought Max and Nev
were a couple for a few seasons.
- What is this?
- Lifeguards for a day.
- Don't be coming around
here, dude.
[cheering]
- Talk to your lady.
- Kissy face to me.
- Who says men can't cook
and clean, right?
Say, "Yes, we can."
Stuff gets so wrinkled
when you're traveling,
and it's in bags
for days or weeks.
Can't stick [bleep]
to my chest.
- Dude, that's like
the Austin Powers chest, dude.
That's the hairiest chest
that I've ever seen.
- I know, right?
Come on, Max.
- It's not helping the rumors.
- Like 30 seconds of a runner's
lunge with your arms--
I mean, it's hard stuff.
- You can do your
hard stuff by yourself.
- Hey, you want more of our
oh-so-dreamy hosts?
Stay tuned for some
Internet-shattering moments
when we come back.
[phone rings, cat meows]
[cat meows]
- Welcome back, my tweeters.
I know you all remember
when I made my amazing
guest host appearance
for the season four premier.
How could you forget?
You loved it. I mean, it was me.
What's up, Nev.
- Hey, man.
You've been tweeting
about the show
as long as
the show's been on.
- You can't stage some of
these moments
that these people
are having, you know?
- Yeah.
- On my very special episode,
my girl, Miracle--
- Hi, how you doing?
- Hi, Charla--
- You know this guy?
- Who I just, by chance,
met at a club
a few weeks prior.
Even though I know you
all had your ideas about us,
get them dirty thoughts
out your heads.
Miracle wanted to find Jovanni,
who she really fell for hard.
Nev, ladies and gentlemen.
- Look at you,
you're a natural.
- You are the cheapest man
in America.
You stay
in three-star hotels--
- Free Internet.
- You drive mini vans
and you mooch
people's free wireless?
First of all, where the hell you
find all these black Barbies?
"Charlamagne had me in tears.
"Just watching the episode,
this man said,
'Where the hell you found
all these black Barbies?'"
You know what the real gag is?
I don't even remember
saying that.
- You definitely need
to follow me inside.
I got--I got some--
It's hard to explain right now.
- Where you going, man?
- Nev, don't you follow no angry
black man into their house.
- Charlamagne, you have
to come too.
- Oh, Lord, MTV ain't paying
me enough for all this, bro.
However, Jovanni ended
up being a woman,
and all hell broke loose.
- I'm be--I'm pissed.
- Sweetie, you basic.
- Do you see
your outfit though?
But I'm basic?
Is that a fishnet?
- Let's go.
- There's the door.
- We can leave
because this [bleep]'s done.
- She had on a fishnet top,
and I'm basic?
Her haircut's $6.99.
- I'm telling you, a pack.
But enough about me.
We also got some other tweetable
guest hosts you all loved.
Mr. Tyler Oakley and Machine
Gun Kelly also helped Nev out.
Let's get into
Machine Gun Kelly's episode.
- Ha ha!
- Hey!
He's a bad boy rapper,
he's an actor, MGK.
- I'm gonna break it down
because it's hella complicated.
Hundra pleaded with Nev
to help her find Emily
and told him
how hard it was for her
to come out of as a lesbian
because she is Haitian.
- "Homosexuality
is not tolerated."
- But then, things
take a turn for the worst
when the truth comes out.
- I'm gonna be honest
with you guys.
- Turns out Hundra just
wanted to be on the show
and recruited two
ex-girlfriends to help her out.
- It's just, like,
it's not true.
Me and Millie only did it
because she asked us to.
- Why are we here?
- I could be with my daughter
on Father's Day right now.
Hundra, you want
to tell us something?
You knew them already, huh?
- You had to have
at least had a reason
to want to be on television.
- I wanted the world
to know that I was gay.
- Why does the world need
to know that you're gay?
- When you're in a culture that
hates what you have to become,
it's not that easy.
So, yeah, in a way the world
should give a [bleep].
I don't want to keep
lying to myself.
- But what's the world gonna
take away from this?
Right now, you're setting
a really bad example for people.
This is incredibly selfish.
- You don't look like a hero.
- Okay, well, this is done.
- Yeah.
- You are a sucker.
You. Corny.
You are corny.
Thank you for wasting my time.
I regret all of it.
You're corny.
You are not a hero.
You are a--you are
a shameful citizen.
- For real, though, Hundra,
that's [bleep] up.
People got jobs to do
and you out there wasting
everyone's damn time?
- You're a coward, man.
- Thankfully, Tyler Oakley's
guest appearance
ended up being the complete
opposite with Daisy and Marcus.
- Hi.
- Tyler.
- Well, hello, everyone.
my name is Tyler Oakley,
and I am in my pajamas.
Thank you for having me.
- Let's do this.
- Daisy lost her sister
and her dad.
- I keep as positive
as I can about it.
- She fell in love
with Marcus.
- "Marcus being a part of
my life makes me feel complete."
- However,
right from the start,
Nev didn't have high hopes
about Marcus being real.
- Girl...
- I mean...
If Marcus
says he's a guy
but you haven't spoken
to him on the phone,
it's probably
because he's a girl.
- I'm ready
for this plot twist.
- Hey!
- Hi!
I love your hair.
- I love your hair.
Twinsies.
- I told you guys
you'd get along.
- My hair used to be completely,
like, down to here.
- Oh, this is a good look.
- So, is it?
- If you've got the face,
you don't need the hair.
You've got the face.
- Oh, thank you.
- To everyone's surprise,
Marcus turned out to be real.
- That really
looks like him.
- Hello.
- My, God, hi.
- How are you?
- Good, how are you?
- Good.
- What's up, man?
- That's not what
you guys reacted to.
Apparently, Daisy's New Jersey
accent kept going in and out,
and that blew everyone's mind.
- Why wouldn't you
have answered?
You could have even just say,
"Hey, like,
I can't talk right now."
Was that difficult to even
just say, like, three words?
Why would you never have
send me something back
when I have asked you?
Even for, like,
a simple birthday card?
- In "Catfish's" 50th episode,
Tiana had been dating James
for three years
through Myspace.
So Tiana moved
to North Carolina,
and after five months
she still hasn't met
her boyfriend, James,
and homegirl got
my guys mixed up too,
but in her defense,
all white people do look
alike in North Carolina.
- Which one of you guys
are Nev and Max?
- Are you serious?
- Are you Nev?
- Nev and Max
meet up with Tiana
and her friend
of a few years, Aisha,
who has been there for Tiana
during her whole James saga.
But that's not the kicker.
There's a bigger twist
to this story that generated
some of the most passionate
Internet reactions ever.
- Oh, my God.
This is Ricky G's shop.
He's my baby daddy's cousin.
- The garage is, like,
half opened.
- Yeah, definitely
someone in there.
- Wow.
- [indistinct whispering]
- Stay open-minded.
- Hello.
- What's up?
- Hey, man.
- What the [bleep]?
Are you serious?
- What?
- Tres, really?
You've been behind this
the whole [bleep] time?
- Why y'all bring her?
- Wait, who's Tres?
- That's my baby daddy.
What you mean, who is they?
- You sat there
and you lied to her,
and, damn, when it come to me
getting into a relationship
with somebody,
you come and you run them away.
What the [bleep],
what the [bleep],
what the [bleep],
what the [bleep]?
- Here's another lesson,
ladies.
Don't let a man close
the garage door on you.
And if you thought
that was nuts,
wait till you see
what we got coming up next.
It's one of the most explosive
fights in "Catfish" history
that had everyone
tweeting like crazy.
[cat meows]
- Welcome back.
Now, our next "Catfish"
broke the Internet
with an explosive love story.
Dejay had been involved
with Josiah for seven years,
while Malik had been involved
with Josiah for five years.
- That's seven years of my life
that I can't get back
because you like to play games.
This ain't [bleep] Nintendo.
- This ain't
no damned Nintendo.
The premiere of season five
reminded us all of one lesson.
Don't be catfishing
two people at the same time
because things can
and will get ugly.
- Well, hello, Jojo.
- Yeah, what's up?
- Hi.
- Hey.
- Nice to finally meet you.
- Nice to finally meet you too.
- Uh-huh.
- Hello.
- What's up?
- You're not gonna
shake my hand?
- This is gonna be fun.
- What are your feelings
towards these guys?
- I love both of them.
I mean, I might love one
more than the other,
but I love both of them.
- Who?
- Well, I mean, I love Dejay
more than, you know.
I mean, I'm not trying
to hurt your feelings.
- You didn't not
hurt my feelings.
- I never told you me and you
were in a relationship.
- How you tried
to make it seem was
in the future time,
it was gonna be something else.
- You had your opportunity
to come see me,
and I had my opportunity to come
see you, more than one time.
- Can you listen?
can you listen?
- No, don't talk
to me like that.
- Slow down,
can you simmer down?
- Talk to me with English.
- English!
- English!
I refuse to sit around people
that's not gonna listen.
Only thing they're gonna do,
open up their [bleep] mouth
and just talk,
talk, talk, talk, talk.
- That's been clear
for some [bleep] years.
- You just now peeping?
- Yeah, let me step out
because you funny.
You're funny.
Shut the [bleep] up!
Shut the [bleep] up, Jo.
Shut the [bleep] up, Jo.
Grow some hair on your ball
and act like
a [bleep] grown-ass man.
- We got all this space
and opportunity, [bleep].
I'll [bleep] for real,
[bleep].
- How'd that happen?
- Come back.
- That [bleep]
needs psychological help.
- I don't even want to be
on camera no more.
- I understand,
We'll get you a ride, okay?
- Come right here,
right here, right here.
- No, I'm gonna walk
where I please,
and that [bleep]
don't please me.
- Running away like that,
typical Jo.
You can't handle
a honest situation
and be able to sit here and
have a grown-ass conversation
and face what the [bleep]
you have done, period.
So therefore, bitch,
you're cut off.
- Josiah was a player, huh?
Kayla reached out
to Nev and Max
for a very spooky
kind of catfish.
The first of its kind.
Tragically, Kayla's father
murdered her mother,
and then a few years later,
when he was in jail,
he killed himself.
A woman, Courtney,
reached out to Kayla
claiming to be a medium
and that Kayla's father
had been contacting Courtney
since his passing.
- She knew things like
the brand of cigarettes
he smoked and what kind
of ice cream he liked.
Nobody should really know
some of the certain
things that she knows.
- Although a bit spooked,
Nev and Max took the case
to get to the bottom of it.
- Logic would tell me
you can't talk to dead people.
- We're in way
over our heads here.
- Yeah.
- I had no idea ghosts
would be involved
in a "Catfish" episode,
but that's exactly
what happened here,
and we all got
a little freaked out
when this random-ass raccoon
decided to drop by.
- Can we go wait over here?
- Yeah.
- I'm so nervous.
This is gonna be like
a really big life changer.
- Look at this little guy.
- Oh.
- That's kind of weird, right?
- I've never seen them
stand up like that.
Are they supposed
to stand like that?
- Wow.
- He senses something.
- If I saw
a possessed raccoon,
I'd start talking to him,
I be like,
"Yo, whatever, Rocky,
you know what I'm saying?"
What's the tree name?
Groot.
Oh, I be like,
"I love you,
you know what I mean?
How are you?
Where Groot?"
Hold onto your seats because
you ain't seen nothing yet.
[cat meows]
- All right, you ready
for more Internet fun?
Here we go. This next one
almost speaks for itself.
Spencer from Tennessee
was convinced he had been
in an online relationship
for six years, ha,
with Katy Perry.
- [laughs]
What?
- That's right,
and dude was straight-up
sold on this idea,
and I think we all were ready
to put this poor guy's
delusions to rest.
- Katy is Katy Perry.
So I think this is gonna be
your best episode ever.
- What, if anything,
gives you the impression
that you are actually
talking to Katy Perry?
- Because I've been talking
to her for six years.
- I feel like this guy
is just gonna have his heart
stepped on and broken
into a million pieces.
It's not like, "Oh, my God,
could it be Katy Perry?"
Because there's no way
it's Katy Perry.
[both screaming]
We got a hit!
It says that it was posted
from the United Kingdom.
- Oh, yeah, so this girl's
definitely in England.
- Ready for your trip
to England?
- Let's do it.
I did Google Katy last night.
- What'd you find?
- That maybe her
current situation
there might be
some rocky water, so..
- With her boyfriend?
- Mr. Bloom.
- So you're thinking there
might be kind of an opening.
- An opening.
- Maybe.
- So you've been talking to
Spencer for the last six years.
- I have.
- That's not her.
- Who else could it be?
- I mean, really Katy.
- You can't possibly think
it's still Katy Perry.
- I do.
- Okay, so--
- Whoa.
- Do you want to--
- What's the name of our kids
that we talked about?
- It was Lyka, Luka,
something else.
It started with an "L"
probably.
- It's not her.
- What do you mean?
- It's not her.
- Why, did she get
the names wrong?
- No, she got the first
two names right.
- And guess what.
That's right, ha ha,
it was not Katy Perry.
I heard he's now engaged
to Lady Gaga.
Next up, while Nev was away
on paternity leave,
like the good father he is,
Max took the lead
with his friend
and singer Chantal
from Morningwood.
- Hi.
- Today I'll be playing
the part of Nev.
- To help Marvin find his
Internet love interest, Austin.
- I was trying to, like,
make some new friends
and I met Austin.
It started off on Grinder.
We flirted here and there.
We've been talking
three months now.
- Now we all
have fallen victim
to what made this episode
go viral,
but, unfortunately,
there's no edit button for us
to blur those picture texts
that aren't quite
what we want to see.
- So can we see him?
- I am dying to see Austin.
- Yeah, let's see what
this guy looks like.
- Okay, so...
- All right, I mean, listen, I
get why you're texting with him.
- And then he says--
- Oh, then he just went for it!
Then he just dove right in.
- All right.
- So far, the romance seems
to be low on the scale,
and the sex seems to be
high, really high.
- And in the end,
we all had Marvin's back
when this catfish turned out
to be three people playing
on Marvin's emotions.
- Hi, there.
- Are you Curt?
- Yeah, I'm Curt.
- I want to introduce you
to Marvin.
- Hi there. I'm Curt.
- Why'd you lie to me?
- Well, you weren't
really talking to me.
- Can you guys explain
what's going on here?
- I knew about the profile.
I even helped create
the profile,
but you were actually
talking with Kylie.
- I need to get
all the facts here.
- Originally, the profile
was created to bust cheaters.
- Well, I wasn't
cheating on anyone.
- Um, I guess we liked you.
- I feel like y'all
playing with my feelings.
- What made you think
that all this was real?
- That's not what
we're talking about.
- That--that's--that's not--
- I wouldn't
be so ready to be
sending pictures
and stuff like that.
- You entrapped him.
- I get it, I get it.
- Yeah.
Am I in crazy world?
You're gonna blame the person
that you're seducing?
- Well, none of our intention
was to shame him.
- You're shaming him
for falling into a trap.
- Damn, people be shady.
Well, we've got one of our
shadiest cases
coming up with
the most-tweeted moment
in "Catfish" history,
right after this.
[cat meows]
[cat meows]
- Welcome back.
Now you may ask,
"What was the most-tweeted
about moment in 'Catfish?'"
Well, here it is,
"Catfish" devotees.
With over 500,000 tweets,
it's your favorites,
Dorion and Jeszica.
Dorion fell hard for
his fantasy girl, Jeszica.
- "She's a model
and a college student."
- She's a model?
- You're in love with Jeszica
and have been for a few years.
- She could potentially
be the one I marry.
- But in the last six months,
you've had a girlfriend.
- She doesn't want
to lose me.
- "You don't want
to lose him?
Clearly, he doesn't
mind losing you."
That's what a lot of us
were thinking.
- I'll let him do this
so he can find out
if he really wants
to be with her
or if he wants
to be with me.
I'm hoping so hard
that she's not real.
- Dorion, you got
some nerve, brother.
- If I were Raffinee,
I'd break up with you
in two seconds.
- Raffinee.
- Raffinee.
- Raffinee.
- Raffinee.
- Raffinee.
- I don't know.
- Oh.
- After about six months
of dating a real
flesh and blood woman,
Dorion still wanted to see
what could be with Jeszica.
- There were multiple
Jeszica profiles.
- She possibly holds
the title of most faked.
- For a girl that's supposed
to have a baby,
you'd think there'd be more
pictures of her and the baby.
- I don't like being lied to.
Still ready to do this.
It hasn't changed my mind.
- We are about to meet Jeszica.
- Let's go.
- I'll introduce you.
- Hi.
- Hi, Dorion.
- What is your name?
- Alexis.
- It's not Jeszica, okay.
- It's not Jeszica.
I just--
I didn't know
how to tell you
that you honestly mean
the world to me.
I'm not gonna even
lie to you.
- Is Janelle real?
- She's not.
I really do want
to be with you.
- Raffinee is the girl
who I've been dating.
She's a great girlfriend,
and I totally just told her
that you was more important
than she was,
and I, basically, put that
all to the side for this moment.
Oh, Lord. My heart
is beating fast already.
I don't want to pursue
a relationship with you.
- That's totally
understandable because
I honestly feel the same way.
The girlfriend thing is--
it really bothered me.
You didn't even tell me
about this girl or anything.
You're trying to live
two different lives.
That's not okay with meat all.
- You want to try and call her?
- All right.
- Hey.
- Hi.
- I choose you...
only if you allow me to.
- Wow.
Well...
I have to admit, I'm--
I'm extremely happy
that you chose me over her.
- All right, guys,
thanks for joining me,
and thanks for all
your funny-ass tweets
that make "Catfish"
even more entertaining.
Don't forget to catch
more lies on "Catfish"
every Wednesday night
at 10:00 p.m.
Until then, Charlamagne
Tha God says peace.
873
00:41:15.
dope "Catfish" special
where you'll be joining me,
Charlamagne Tha God,
and I am a "Catfish" superfan.
This time we
are celebrating when you
became part of the show
with your tweets and memes.
That's right, we've taken the
moments that have gone viral,
and put them together.
- He and I are talking.
- Who the [bleep] does
this person think they are?
- So you really put
a dildo there?
- Yeah, yeah,
yeah, yeah, yeah.
- What the [bleep].
Are you serious?
- That's seven years of
my life that I can't get back
'cause you like to play games.
This ain't [bleep] Nintendo.
♪ ♪
[cat meows]
- When "Catfish"
first premiered
on MTV six seasons ago,
the Internet didn't know
what to make of it.
- "Catfish."
- Who was it?
- I don't know.
- Hello?
Yeah, we got an email.
Hi, I'm Nev.
A couple years ago,
I fell in love online.
I thought I fell
in love with Megan,
but Megan was really Angela.
I was heartbroken.
- However,
when Nev explained his story,
which may or may not
have been an elaborate lie
just to pitch
this television show,
everybody was hooked.
- Suddenly my inbox
was exploding with emails.
I think we should pursue
every single one of these leads,
and we should make
a show of it.
- Who would name a show
"Catfish?"
It was like MTV's
best idea in 20 years.
And right from
the first episode,
Twitter was in love
with "Catfish."
Remember Sunny and her
online boo, Jamison?
She reached out to Nev
to help
finally meet the guy
of her dreams
she had been talking
to him online,
but fans and the Internet
had little faith
Sunny was gonna find
her Prince Charming.
- Tell me exactly what he does.
- He is a model for
Request Modeling Agency.
We have a very
emotional connection.
- Okay.
- He is one of the writers
for "Chelsea Lately,"
and he writes, like,
you know, all the cue cards
and everything.
- That seems crazy though.
Doesn't that seem weird to you?
You don't make a lot of money
writing cue cards.
- That, yeah, I mean,
that's true.
He's going to be
a anesthesiologist.
He does online classes.
- Okay.
- You can't help
what the heart wants.
It just does.
- Man, you guys are harsh,
and I love it.
- Wait, guys,
guys, guys, guys.
- Hello?
- Hello.
- Hi.
- We were looking for Jamison.
- I know.
- So is he here?
- It's me.
- What?
- Obviously, you're not a man.
- Obviously.
- So are you, like, attracted
to girls or something?
- No.
- It's a little surprising to me
that you're not
more apologetic.
- Normally, if it was
any other person here,
and I didn't have
people watching me,
and I knew
I couldn't be filmed,
I would take you out like none
other, and that's not a threat.
- Okay, you know,
I'm twice your size.
- As we all know,
"Catfish's" premiere
gave us the first
of many memorable moments
to take the Internet by storm.
I mean, I personally,
couldn't get enough of it.
I thoroughly enjoyed
watching people's
love and dreams being crushed.
It's pure entertainment.
- I got an email here
from a guy named Ramon.
- 19-year-old Ramon
met Paola online
and without ever having
seen her fell in love.
Another fool
doing foolish things.
- I gave her
my bank information.
- What?
Dude.
- Have you ever just
sent her money?
- Yeah.
- How much?
- A couple of thousand, maybe.
- "This dude sent Paola
a couple thousand dollars
"without meeting her?
Childdddd.
#Catfish."
That's what a lot of us
were thinking.
- Hi, Ramon.
- I'm going to assume
that your name is Loyda?
- Yeah.
- Not only was Ramon
giving Loyda,
aka Paola, money,
Loyda used the money to buy
herself an engagement ring
then posted up on social media
a fake letter from Ramon
saying he proposed to her.
- I looked at your page,
your real page,
and found a picture of a ring
and a message that looked
like it was from me.
- He sent her that ring.
- I never sent her
a ring at all.
- Whatever.
- No, not, not whatever.
It's important.
These details are important.
- No, whatever.
- You're not really
hearing everything.
- Yes, I am.
- No, you're not.
- Yes, I am.
- Your daughter's a liar.
- My daughter is a liar?
- Say it with me now.
all: What about Ramon, what
about Ramon, what about Ramon?
- Ramon has his own issues
to deal with.
- I can see that.
- "What about Ramon?"
Roll the clip.
I don't think any of us can
forget Kristen and Mike.
Mike fell hard for Kristen
who lived just 40 miles
away from him,
but according to him,
she didn't want to meet
because of a handicap.
- She was involved
in a car accident.
The windshield broke,
glass shattered,
and it got into her eye,
so she has a fake eye now.
She's got some
nice curves to her
from the other
provocative photos
that I've seen that I will not
disclose to you guys.
- And have you reciprocated?
- Yeah, I have, yeah.
- In a similar fashion?
- Similar fashion.
Full frontal nudity
with my face included also.
Ah.
- And in classic "Catfish"
style, Kristen, of course,
was not who she presented
herself to be in the pictures.
- I'm Kristen.
- Nice to meet you, Nev.
- Nice to meet you, too.
- Ah, come on downstairs.
One of the things that we were
very curious about
was your accident.
Is that something
that happened or--
- That is all true.
- A ton of people
felt sorry for the catfish,
Kristen, due to her losing
her eye in an accident,
but Kristen was able
to have all of us laughing
and writing
some eye-popping tweets.
- I'm starting to become
my goofy self again.
Like being whacky,
taking my eye out.
- You just--
you can just pop it out?
- [laughs] Yes.
- Can you just pop it back
in when you're done?
- Yeah.
- You don't need to, like,
rinse or sanitize.
- No, no.
- There's really only
one thing left to do.
- Okay.
- Can I touch it?
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
- Beauty is in the eye
of the beholder.
- Then I just
pop it back in.
- Just pop that eye
back in, Kristen.
- I got this. I can do it.
- Get it, girl.
Keep those laptops on
because we'll be right back
with more of your comments
on some of your favorite
episodes, coming up.
[cat meows]
[cat meows]
- Welcome back, "Catfish" fans.
This next one had everyone
generating comments.
Artis wasn't happy in his
real-life relationship
and was emotionally
cheating with Jess.
- Going behind her back
and sneaking around,
it's not cool, and I don't
want to be part of that.
- My boys, Nev and Max, made
him break it off with the girl
before agreeing to help find
who Artis believed to be
his one true love.
- All right, so your current
relationship is totally over.
- Yeah, it's totally over.
- It was the "Catfish"
vigilantes, like Batman,
except really creepy,
not rich, and no cool costume.
Everyone put your hands
together slow-ly.
- Excuse me.
- [bleep] this, man, for real.
- Don't touch me.
- You better back up, man.
- Don't touch me.
- You better back up.
- What the [bleep]
kind of [bleep] is this?
- You better chill out, man.
- We're talking.
Him and I are talking.
[overlapping talking]
- He and I are talking.
I can tell you
one thing right now, buddy.
One thing you're gonna like,
you're gonna learn
to love it too--
- What the hell are you
talking about, dude?
- I'm gonna be the one wearing
the pants in this one.
Understand that?
- Dude.
- You can still be
my chocolate kiss, too.
You don't forget
about that, baby.
- Are you Jess?
- Yeah, I'm Jess.
- You're Jess?
- Yeah.
- Man, [bleep].
What, man?
- I'm gonna take
a stab at this.
- Sure.
- You're gay.
- Obviously, I'm not gay.
- Well, it's not so obvious.
I mean, you are pretending
to be a girl online
and having a romantic
relationship with a guy, so...
- I give it to you,
you got me there.
- Right.
- So--hey, maybe.
- If you ask me,
that dude should be banned
from using
his computer forever,
and Artis should
stay single forever.
This next one takes it up
to a whole new level of dirty,
and I'm sure a few livestock
were offended as well.
- "My name is Keyonnah,
I'm 19 years old,
"and I live in a small town
called Cameron, North Carolina.
"I'm currently in an online
"turned very passionate
relationship
"with someone who appears
to be the rapper Bow Wow.
"We have even tried
to video chat a few times,
"but it's always a bad
connection on his end.
"The things he does
keep me believing
"that this might
actually be real.
He sent over
ten thousand dollars."
- But it turns out
Lil' Bow Wow was really
a 23-year-old girl
named Dee Pimpin,
who liked to fool straight
women into sleeping with her.
All I know is
I don't think any of us
will ever look at lambs
the same way.
- Well...
- Oh.
- We came here, obviously,
to introduce you to Keyonnah.
- How you doing, Keyonnah?
Hey, I never lied about
my true feelings for you.
I just lied about the person.
- I'm not gay, so, like,
this couldn't move forward.
- Have you had to get
over straight girls
who weren't interested
in you before?
- Not really.
- You always were able
to convert them?
- Mm-hmm.
- You just pass
as a guy and then
while they're hooking up
and, like, feeling you up, like,
they feel that something's
missing, and then what happens?
- No, no, no,
that's why I say
I don't want to
tell you on camera.
- So you--
you put a dildo there?
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's like a real
lambskin dildo.
[sheep bleats]
It's like human skin,
but it's lamb.
[sheep bleating]
And, like, it feels real.
Like, I fooled a lot
of chicks like that.
[sheep bleats]
- That's just wrong.
I don't think lamb skin
should be wasted on a dildo.
Regular skin dildos
work just fine.
This next one was like
a viral gift from the gods.
18-year-old
Solana wanted to find
Elijah to figure out if
the 5-year Internet romance
was worth pursuing.
- Wow.
- Oh, my God.
- Yeah, you look gorgeous.
- Hi.
Oh, my God.
I can't believe
I'm meeting you right now.
- This is insane.
- How are you?
- I'm awesome.
I'm nervous now.
- You're real.
- Yeah.
- I'm real. They're real.
- Is the hair real?
- Yeah, my hair's real.
- Wow.
- I figure we're all
in a little bit of shock.
And why are you so famous?
- Uh...
- Because he has awesome hair.
- Yeah, I definitely think
it's the image.
- Elijah, if you're watching,
keep doing you, bro.
Rock on with that
Motley Crue looking 'do.
If you thought it was just
gonna take some bad hair
to break the Internet,
check out what we got coming up.
[cat meows]
[phone ringing, cat meowing]
- And we're back.
This time with stories
that really put the "crazy"
in "seriously crazy."
Blaire met Markie
on Instagram
during a time when she was
basically homeless and suicidal.
When Blaire wanted
to finally meet Markie
after four months
of chatting,
Markie said she was kidnapped.
- "A week before
I was supposed to meet her,
she got kidnapped."
- I saved money from work,
and I bought her a plane ticket
from California to New York,
and then no one
knows where she is.
The cops
are looking for her.
- And then called Blaire
from a mental institution
telling her that
they should be friends.
Red flags on the play all
over the place, right, guys?
- "She calls me from
a mental hospital,
and Markie decided it was best
if we were just friends."
- I called her dad and
I was like, "Where is she?"
and he's like, "Well,
I'm not gonna get into it,
but she's not coming."
- Roller coaster.
- Pretty much.
- This next one had
everyone telling our hopeful
to head for the hills.
Remember, boys and girls,
catfish are creepy.
- Pleased to meet you, Markie.
- Well, you're very excited.
- I'm very, very excited.
I'm trying not to, like,
jump into her arms and
plow her down to the floor.
- That's not exactly
the reaction that I expected.
- Yeah, if anything,
we've been kind of ready for--
- The worst?
[maniacal laughter]
- You didn't come to New York,
and then she got a strange
phone call from you saying
that you were in a hospital of
some kind and then it was over.
- I never got answers,
I never got reasons,
and that's all I want is why.
- So I was 17, and the man
pretty much didn't kidnap me.
I went on my own.
- What? What?
- He persuaded me
to go with him
because of issues that would
happen in New York that he saw.
- He saw issues. How could he?
I don't get this.
- Was he an ex of yours?
- No, it's a very
private situation.
I can't really let out names.
- I know this probably feels
like an interrogation.
I don't want it to,
But you have a reputation
for not telling the truth.
- I'm a psychotic, crazy person,
I have a semi lying problem,
and I'm absolutely
in love with you.
I want to be
a part of your life.
I want to be there for you.
I want to be the person
you can cry on.
- I'm gonna interrupt.
The worst thing you can do
for her right now is that.
If you care about someone,
be real with them.
You're just lying
and just hurting both of you.
- I'm not gonna lie,
but there are some people
you run away from,
and, Markie, girl,
I'm not even playing with you.
For all you artists out there,
get your stencils ready
for this next one that took
the Internet by storm.
And ladies, no matter
if it's a picture via phone,
email or carrier pigeon,
those dick pics are a sign
to say, "Bye, Felicia."
- "My name is Andrea.
"I've been in an on-and-off
relationship
for almost ten years."
- Andrea met David
on an old-school website
when she was back
in middle school.
They became boyfriend
and girlfriend,
but during their ten-year
relationship, they never met.
Girl, ten years and you ain't
met the dude? Come on, now.
You got to at least test drive
the car physically first.
- He sent you letters?
- Mm-hmm.
- What did it say?
- It's over there, actually,
if you want to read it.
- Yeah, I want to see it.
"I love you, baby.
I wish I was next to you,
on top of you, [bleep] you."
Oh, wow.
- What is that?
- Is that an outline of--
- It's hard to even--
- Did he just lay it down on
a table and, like, trace it?
Is that what that is?
- That looks like what
that's supposed to be.
- I know, right?
- All right, we've entered
into a whole new level
of "Catfish"
correspondence here.
- "I'm going to start
tracing my dick
"and giving it to girls
I'm talking to.
"#Catfish.
#CatfishMTV.
#DickTracy."
How do you trace your dick?
Like oh--
I guess you could, right?
I might try that.
While Nev and Max were exposing
the tricksters out there,
the Internet obsession
with the two of them
grew and grew like
an excited teenager,
and even though everyone loves
"Catfish" for the stories,
I'm starting to wonder
if everyone wasn't just
watching for our hunky hosts.
And there is a definite
bromance going on.
I mean, come on.
We all thought Max and Nev
were a couple for a few seasons.
- What is this?
- Lifeguards for a day.
- Don't be coming around
here, dude.
[cheering]
- Talk to your lady.
- Kissy face to me.
- Who says men can't cook
and clean, right?
Say, "Yes, we can."
Stuff gets so wrinkled
when you're traveling,
and it's in bags
for days or weeks.
Can't stick [bleep]
to my chest.
- Dude, that's like
the Austin Powers chest, dude.
That's the hairiest chest
that I've ever seen.
- I know, right?
Come on, Max.
- It's not helping the rumors.
- Like 30 seconds of a runner's
lunge with your arms--
I mean, it's hard stuff.
- You can do your
hard stuff by yourself.
- Hey, you want more of our
oh-so-dreamy hosts?
Stay tuned for some
Internet-shattering moments
when we come back.
[phone rings, cat meows]
[cat meows]
- Welcome back, my tweeters.
I know you all remember
when I made my amazing
guest host appearance
for the season four premier.
How could you forget?
You loved it. I mean, it was me.
What's up, Nev.
- Hey, man.
You've been tweeting
about the show
as long as
the show's been on.
- You can't stage some of
these moments
that these people
are having, you know?
- Yeah.
- On my very special episode,
my girl, Miracle--
- Hi, how you doing?
- Hi, Charla--
- You know this guy?
- Who I just, by chance,
met at a club
a few weeks prior.
Even though I know you
all had your ideas about us,
get them dirty thoughts
out your heads.
Miracle wanted to find Jovanni,
who she really fell for hard.
Nev, ladies and gentlemen.
- Look at you,
you're a natural.
- You are the cheapest man
in America.
You stay
in three-star hotels--
- Free Internet.
- You drive mini vans
and you mooch
people's free wireless?
First of all, where the hell you
find all these black Barbies?
"Charlamagne had me in tears.
"Just watching the episode,
this man said,
'Where the hell you found
all these black Barbies?'"
You know what the real gag is?
I don't even remember
saying that.
- You definitely need
to follow me inside.
I got--I got some--
It's hard to explain right now.
- Where you going, man?
- Nev, don't you follow no angry
black man into their house.
- Charlamagne, you have
to come too.
- Oh, Lord, MTV ain't paying
me enough for all this, bro.
However, Jovanni ended
up being a woman,
and all hell broke loose.
- I'm be--I'm pissed.
- Sweetie, you basic.
- Do you see
your outfit though?
But I'm basic?
Is that a fishnet?
- Let's go.
- There's the door.
- We can leave
because this [bleep]'s done.
- She had on a fishnet top,
and I'm basic?
Her haircut's $6.99.
- I'm telling you, a pack.
But enough about me.
We also got some other tweetable
guest hosts you all loved.
Mr. Tyler Oakley and Machine
Gun Kelly also helped Nev out.
Let's get into
Machine Gun Kelly's episode.
- Ha ha!
- Hey!
He's a bad boy rapper,
he's an actor, MGK.
- I'm gonna break it down
because it's hella complicated.
Hundra pleaded with Nev
to help her find Emily
and told him
how hard it was for her
to come out of as a lesbian
because she is Haitian.
- "Homosexuality
is not tolerated."
- But then, things
take a turn for the worst
when the truth comes out.
- I'm gonna be honest
with you guys.
- Turns out Hundra just
wanted to be on the show
and recruited two
ex-girlfriends to help her out.
- It's just, like,
it's not true.
Me and Millie only did it
because she asked us to.
- Why are we here?
- I could be with my daughter
on Father's Day right now.
Hundra, you want
to tell us something?
You knew them already, huh?
- You had to have
at least had a reason
to want to be on television.
- I wanted the world
to know that I was gay.
- Why does the world need
to know that you're gay?
- When you're in a culture that
hates what you have to become,
it's not that easy.
So, yeah, in a way the world
should give a [bleep].
I don't want to keep
lying to myself.
- But what's the world gonna
take away from this?
Right now, you're setting
a really bad example for people.
This is incredibly selfish.
- You don't look like a hero.
- Okay, well, this is done.
- Yeah.
- You are a sucker.
You. Corny.
You are corny.
Thank you for wasting my time.
I regret all of it.
You're corny.
You are not a hero.
You are a--you are
a shameful citizen.
- For real, though, Hundra,
that's [bleep] up.
People got jobs to do
and you out there wasting
everyone's damn time?
- You're a coward, man.
- Thankfully, Tyler Oakley's
guest appearance
ended up being the complete
opposite with Daisy and Marcus.
- Hi.
- Tyler.
- Well, hello, everyone.
my name is Tyler Oakley,
and I am in my pajamas.
Thank you for having me.
- Let's do this.
- Daisy lost her sister
and her dad.
- I keep as positive
as I can about it.
- She fell in love
with Marcus.
- "Marcus being a part of
my life makes me feel complete."
- However,
right from the start,
Nev didn't have high hopes
about Marcus being real.
- Girl...
- I mean...
If Marcus
says he's a guy
but you haven't spoken
to him on the phone,
it's probably
because he's a girl.
- I'm ready
for this plot twist.
- Hey!
- Hi!
I love your hair.
- I love your hair.
Twinsies.
- I told you guys
you'd get along.
- My hair used to be completely,
like, down to here.
- Oh, this is a good look.
- So, is it?
- If you've got the face,
you don't need the hair.
You've got the face.
- Oh, thank you.
- To everyone's surprise,
Marcus turned out to be real.
- That really
looks like him.
- Hello.
- My, God, hi.
- How are you?
- Good, how are you?
- Good.
- What's up, man?
- That's not what
you guys reacted to.
Apparently, Daisy's New Jersey
accent kept going in and out,
and that blew everyone's mind.
- Why wouldn't you
have answered?
You could have even just say,
"Hey, like,
I can't talk right now."
Was that difficult to even
just say, like, three words?
Why would you never have
send me something back
when I have asked you?
Even for, like,
a simple birthday card?
- In "Catfish's" 50th episode,
Tiana had been dating James
for three years
through Myspace.
So Tiana moved
to North Carolina,
and after five months
she still hasn't met
her boyfriend, James,
and homegirl got
my guys mixed up too,
but in her defense,
all white people do look
alike in North Carolina.
- Which one of you guys
are Nev and Max?
- Are you serious?
- Are you Nev?
- Nev and Max
meet up with Tiana
and her friend
of a few years, Aisha,
who has been there for Tiana
during her whole James saga.
But that's not the kicker.
There's a bigger twist
to this story that generated
some of the most passionate
Internet reactions ever.
- Oh, my God.
This is Ricky G's shop.
He's my baby daddy's cousin.
- The garage is, like,
half opened.
- Yeah, definitely
someone in there.
- Wow.
- [indistinct whispering]
- Stay open-minded.
- Hello.
- What's up?
- Hey, man.
- What the [bleep]?
Are you serious?
- What?
- Tres, really?
You've been behind this
the whole [bleep] time?
- Why y'all bring her?
- Wait, who's Tres?
- That's my baby daddy.
What you mean, who is they?
- You sat there
and you lied to her,
and, damn, when it come to me
getting into a relationship
with somebody,
you come and you run them away.
What the [bleep],
what the [bleep],
what the [bleep],
what the [bleep]?
- Here's another lesson,
ladies.
Don't let a man close
the garage door on you.
And if you thought
that was nuts,
wait till you see
what we got coming up next.
It's one of the most explosive
fights in "Catfish" history
that had everyone
tweeting like crazy.
[cat meows]
- Welcome back.
Now, our next "Catfish"
broke the Internet
with an explosive love story.
Dejay had been involved
with Josiah for seven years,
while Malik had been involved
with Josiah for five years.
- That's seven years of my life
that I can't get back
because you like to play games.
This ain't [bleep] Nintendo.
- This ain't
no damned Nintendo.
The premiere of season five
reminded us all of one lesson.
Don't be catfishing
two people at the same time
because things can
and will get ugly.
- Well, hello, Jojo.
- Yeah, what's up?
- Hi.
- Hey.
- Nice to finally meet you.
- Nice to finally meet you too.
- Uh-huh.
- Hello.
- What's up?
- You're not gonna
shake my hand?
- This is gonna be fun.
- What are your feelings
towards these guys?
- I love both of them.
I mean, I might love one
more than the other,
but I love both of them.
- Who?
- Well, I mean, I love Dejay
more than, you know.
I mean, I'm not trying
to hurt your feelings.
- You didn't not
hurt my feelings.
- I never told you me and you
were in a relationship.
- How you tried
to make it seem was
in the future time,
it was gonna be something else.
- You had your opportunity
to come see me,
and I had my opportunity to come
see you, more than one time.
- Can you listen?
can you listen?
- No, don't talk
to me like that.
- Slow down,
can you simmer down?
- Talk to me with English.
- English!
- English!
I refuse to sit around people
that's not gonna listen.
Only thing they're gonna do,
open up their [bleep] mouth
and just talk,
talk, talk, talk, talk.
- That's been clear
for some [bleep] years.
- You just now peeping?
- Yeah, let me step out
because you funny.
You're funny.
Shut the [bleep] up!
Shut the [bleep] up, Jo.
Shut the [bleep] up, Jo.
Grow some hair on your ball
and act like
a [bleep] grown-ass man.
- We got all this space
and opportunity, [bleep].
I'll [bleep] for real,
[bleep].
- How'd that happen?
- Come back.
- That [bleep]
needs psychological help.
- I don't even want to be
on camera no more.
- I understand,
We'll get you a ride, okay?
- Come right here,
right here, right here.
- No, I'm gonna walk
where I please,
and that [bleep]
don't please me.
- Running away like that,
typical Jo.
You can't handle
a honest situation
and be able to sit here and
have a grown-ass conversation
and face what the [bleep]
you have done, period.
So therefore, bitch,
you're cut off.
- Josiah was a player, huh?
Kayla reached out
to Nev and Max
for a very spooky
kind of catfish.
The first of its kind.
Tragically, Kayla's father
murdered her mother,
and then a few years later,
when he was in jail,
he killed himself.
A woman, Courtney,
reached out to Kayla
claiming to be a medium
and that Kayla's father
had been contacting Courtney
since his passing.
- She knew things like
the brand of cigarettes
he smoked and what kind
of ice cream he liked.
Nobody should really know
some of the certain
things that she knows.
- Although a bit spooked,
Nev and Max took the case
to get to the bottom of it.
- Logic would tell me
you can't talk to dead people.
- We're in way
over our heads here.
- Yeah.
- I had no idea ghosts
would be involved
in a "Catfish" episode,
but that's exactly
what happened here,
and we all got
a little freaked out
when this random-ass raccoon
decided to drop by.
- Can we go wait over here?
- Yeah.
- I'm so nervous.
This is gonna be like
a really big life changer.
- Look at this little guy.
- Oh.
- That's kind of weird, right?
- I've never seen them
stand up like that.
Are they supposed
to stand like that?
- Wow.
- He senses something.
- If I saw
a possessed raccoon,
I'd start talking to him,
I be like,
"Yo, whatever, Rocky,
you know what I'm saying?"
What's the tree name?
Groot.
Oh, I be like,
"I love you,
you know what I mean?
How are you?
Where Groot?"
Hold onto your seats because
you ain't seen nothing yet.
[cat meows]
- All right, you ready
for more Internet fun?
Here we go. This next one
almost speaks for itself.
Spencer from Tennessee
was convinced he had been
in an online relationship
for six years, ha,
with Katy Perry.
- [laughs]
What?
- That's right,
and dude was straight-up
sold on this idea,
and I think we all were ready
to put this poor guy's
delusions to rest.
- Katy is Katy Perry.
So I think this is gonna be
your best episode ever.
- What, if anything,
gives you the impression
that you are actually
talking to Katy Perry?
- Because I've been talking
to her for six years.
- I feel like this guy
is just gonna have his heart
stepped on and broken
into a million pieces.
It's not like, "Oh, my God,
could it be Katy Perry?"
Because there's no way
it's Katy Perry.
[both screaming]
We got a hit!
It says that it was posted
from the United Kingdom.
- Oh, yeah, so this girl's
definitely in England.
- Ready for your trip
to England?
- Let's do it.
I did Google Katy last night.
- What'd you find?
- That maybe her
current situation
there might be
some rocky water, so..
- With her boyfriend?
- Mr. Bloom.
- So you're thinking there
might be kind of an opening.
- An opening.
- Maybe.
- So you've been talking to
Spencer for the last six years.
- I have.
- That's not her.
- Who else could it be?
- I mean, really Katy.
- You can't possibly think
it's still Katy Perry.
- I do.
- Okay, so--
- Whoa.
- Do you want to--
- What's the name of our kids
that we talked about?
- It was Lyka, Luka,
something else.
It started with an "L"
probably.
- It's not her.
- What do you mean?
- It's not her.
- Why, did she get
the names wrong?
- No, she got the first
two names right.
- And guess what.
That's right, ha ha,
it was not Katy Perry.
I heard he's now engaged
to Lady Gaga.
Next up, while Nev was away
on paternity leave,
like the good father he is,
Max took the lead
with his friend
and singer Chantal
from Morningwood.
- Hi.
- Today I'll be playing
the part of Nev.
- To help Marvin find his
Internet love interest, Austin.
- I was trying to, like,
make some new friends
and I met Austin.
It started off on Grinder.
We flirted here and there.
We've been talking
three months now.
- Now we all
have fallen victim
to what made this episode
go viral,
but, unfortunately,
there's no edit button for us
to blur those picture texts
that aren't quite
what we want to see.
- So can we see him?
- I am dying to see Austin.
- Yeah, let's see what
this guy looks like.
- Okay, so...
- All right, I mean, listen, I
get why you're texting with him.
- And then he says--
- Oh, then he just went for it!
Then he just dove right in.
- All right.
- So far, the romance seems
to be low on the scale,
and the sex seems to be
high, really high.
- And in the end,
we all had Marvin's back
when this catfish turned out
to be three people playing
on Marvin's emotions.
- Hi, there.
- Are you Curt?
- Yeah, I'm Curt.
- I want to introduce you
to Marvin.
- Hi there. I'm Curt.
- Why'd you lie to me?
- Well, you weren't
really talking to me.
- Can you guys explain
what's going on here?
- I knew about the profile.
I even helped create
the profile,
but you were actually
talking with Kylie.
- I need to get
all the facts here.
- Originally, the profile
was created to bust cheaters.
- Well, I wasn't
cheating on anyone.
- Um, I guess we liked you.
- I feel like y'all
playing with my feelings.
- What made you think
that all this was real?
- That's not what
we're talking about.
- That--that's--that's not--
- I wouldn't
be so ready to be
sending pictures
and stuff like that.
- You entrapped him.
- I get it, I get it.
- Yeah.
Am I in crazy world?
You're gonna blame the person
that you're seducing?
- Well, none of our intention
was to shame him.
- You're shaming him
for falling into a trap.
- Damn, people be shady.
Well, we've got one of our
shadiest cases
coming up with
the most-tweeted moment
in "Catfish" history,
right after this.
[cat meows]
[cat meows]
- Welcome back.
Now you may ask,
"What was the most-tweeted
about moment in 'Catfish?'"
Well, here it is,
"Catfish" devotees.
With over 500,000 tweets,
it's your favorites,
Dorion and Jeszica.
Dorion fell hard for
his fantasy girl, Jeszica.
- "She's a model
and a college student."
- She's a model?
- You're in love with Jeszica
and have been for a few years.
- She could potentially
be the one I marry.
- But in the last six months,
you've had a girlfriend.
- She doesn't want
to lose me.
- "You don't want
to lose him?
Clearly, he doesn't
mind losing you."
That's what a lot of us
were thinking.
- I'll let him do this
so he can find out
if he really wants
to be with her
or if he wants
to be with me.
I'm hoping so hard
that she's not real.
- Dorion, you got
some nerve, brother.
- If I were Raffinee,
I'd break up with you
in two seconds.
- Raffinee.
- Raffinee.
- Raffinee.
- Raffinee.
- Raffinee.
- I don't know.
- Oh.
- After about six months
of dating a real
flesh and blood woman,
Dorion still wanted to see
what could be with Jeszica.
- There were multiple
Jeszica profiles.
- She possibly holds
the title of most faked.
- For a girl that's supposed
to have a baby,
you'd think there'd be more
pictures of her and the baby.
- I don't like being lied to.
Still ready to do this.
It hasn't changed my mind.
- We are about to meet Jeszica.
- Let's go.
- I'll introduce you.
- Hi.
- Hi, Dorion.
- What is your name?
- Alexis.
- It's not Jeszica, okay.
- It's not Jeszica.
I just--
I didn't know
how to tell you
that you honestly mean
the world to me.
I'm not gonna even
lie to you.
- Is Janelle real?
- She's not.
I really do want
to be with you.
- Raffinee is the girl
who I've been dating.
She's a great girlfriend,
and I totally just told her
that you was more important
than she was,
and I, basically, put that
all to the side for this moment.
Oh, Lord. My heart
is beating fast already.
I don't want to pursue
a relationship with you.
- That's totally
understandable because
I honestly feel the same way.
The girlfriend thing is--
it really bothered me.
You didn't even tell me
about this girl or anything.
You're trying to live
two different lives.
That's not okay with meat all.
- You want to try and call her?
- All right.
- Hey.
- Hi.
- I choose you...
only if you allow me to.
- Wow.
Well...
I have to admit, I'm--
I'm extremely happy
that you chose me over her.
- All right, guys,
thanks for joining me,
and thanks for all
your funny-ass tweets
that make "Catfish"
even more entertaining.
Don't forget to catch
more lies on "Catfish"
every Wednesday night
at 10:00 p.m.
Until then, Charlamagne
Tha God says peace.
873
00:41:15.