Cash Register (2018–…): Season 3, Episode 4 - Birthday in the supermarket - full transcript

Checkout

"Birthday in the supermarket"

Well?

Can't you read the sign?

"Self-service register"

Does Shira know
about these games you're playing?

Does Shirley know
you were at Parselani's yesterday?

See?
Where there's a will, there's a way.

The other way around.

The other way around.

No, counter clockwise.



Why isn't another register open?!

Classy, huh?
-Wow.

And I don't have to go to the gym.
You know how heavy they are?

And look at this.

What's that?
I swear, you're such a doofus.

"What's that?" A Mercedes!
You see, eagle eye? -Yes, yes.

You see?

Can you zoom in?

Peekaboo! Where's Kohava?
Here's Kohava.

Where's Kohava?
Here's Kohava!

Aren't they a hassle when you work?
-A hassle? Why would they be?

I can't do anything with my hands,
but besides that, what's the problem?

Could it take more time?
-Disgusting.

Answer the people.



Knock knock. -It's open.
-Kohava, what is this?

Oh, forgive me, I didn't show you.
-What?

Hold on, I forgot. -What?
-It slipped my mind.

Kohava. -This.

Let go...

"Exempt from manual labor,
signed, Irit Nails"?

From Dr. Polish' clinic.
-Kohava, enough with the nonsense.

You're a cashier
and a cashier has to use her hands.

That's enough now. -Hey!
-No hey and no shmey.

Get back to work. Excuse me.

I see,
get back to work, Kohava.

Bountiful day!

Let's ring this up.

Here.

Ah!!! The Mercedes!

The Mercedes is ruined again!

You see? -I see.
-Do you see?! -I see, I see.

What do you see?!
What's to see?!

Nothing! Nothing!
Here, nothing!

She'll pay for this,
I'm telling you, she'll pay!

If not in money, then in tears.

"Issachar Bounty"

I'm collecting money
for a gift for Naomi, are you in?

It's Naomi's birthday?
Of course we're in.

Naomi is awesome.

Here.

Lucky I went to the ATM.

Here's another 20.
-Nissim, extra generous.

This week I'm launching
a new tradition in the supermarket.

We're celebrating birthdays.
Before each of the employees' birthdays,

we'll collect money
and buy a gift for the birthday boy/girl.

The first is Naomi

and it just so happens
Naomi and I were born on the same day.

Oh, you were born on the same day.
-It just so happens.

I just hope there won't be
any awkwardness with Naomi.

Why would there be?

No, I mean, Naomi...

Look, the employees pitch in
as much as they want to,

based on their closeness
to the birthday boy/girl,

based on their appreciation for...
What are you trying to get me to say?

I hope it won't be awkward, you know what
my relationship is like with my employees.

There's a reason they call me
"Big Boss".

I admit I only heard Ramzi
call you "Big Boss".

Not true.

I heard Daisy
call me "Big Boss" this week.

Or was it something in Congolese?
"Bogodo".

Hi!

Pleasant day, my dears.

I'm collecting money
for Bossga's gift.

Uh... Honestly,
I have nothing on me.

I went to the ATM,
ATM was hungry,

I put card, it went "um".
-Bad luck.

The worst.
-The worst.

Ramzi. -Yes?

This is a punch card,
two more holes,

free pastry and coffee.

So generous.
-Extra generous.

Thanks for your kindness, Mr. Toly.

And you? A little something?
-No can do.

He can't. If he could, he... would.

I have to give a gift to my manager?

Had she raised my pay in August,
I'd have something to give...

But we don't have.
We really want to, we can't.

Besides, what was wrong
with the previous gift tradition?

Now that was sweet.
-What was the previous tradition?

Whoever had a birthday got a gift
from the lost and found box. -Boo-boom!

"Happy birthday to you!"

Here you go, Tolsha,
happy birthday, this is from all of us.

Wow, nice one.

After work we'll go see
what it opens.

"Happy birthday to you!"
-Thank you so much.

Chibotero! Happy birthday!

This is from us, from the entire staff.
-Beautiful, thank you.

Kohava, happy birthday.
This is from all of us.

No way, I don't believe it,
my brothers, how did you know?

Avraham Konfino!
Sounds like he's loaded.

You see?
That was an amazing tradition.

What does this open?
-Patience. We'll find it.

Of course I'm in favor
of integrating foreign workers' children,

but not in Gomeh's class,
they're so advanced.

Maybe in the other class
that Dalia's son is in.

Mom, get this for me.
-What?

Petzkaleh, hold on,
Souf is giving me grief in the supermarket.

No. Souf, no, no, no.
You know we don't eat that stuff.

We don't allow processed sweets
in our home.

No offense to parents
who do poison their children.

Of course.

but what do you do
when your kids go to friends?

What do they do on birthdays?

No problem. I equip them
with a healthy party favor from home.

I put in nutritious snacks
that every child loves.

Some endive bars,
some spelt treats.

Sometimes I even spoil them with some
carob to go. It is a birthday after all.

"Buckwheat Kid".
You like it, right?

I want this.

Why would you want that

when you have... this?

Yum yum yum yum.

Here.

I want this!

No, Souf, I'm not buying you chocolate.
Forget about it.

But why not?

As a coach of the "Stratiner Method",
I always say to my empowered parents:

Explain to the child.
A child is a cognitive creature.

A child is not... orange lentil puree,
he can take hard facts.

Tell him the truth and only the truth.

Why not?

The truth is it's dinnertime

and I don't want you to fill up
on all that chocolate's empty carbs.

Do you understand, sweetheart?

I want chocolate!
I want chocolate!

Souf... I'm not buying you chocolate...
No, Souf! I'm not buying chocolate!

He's exhausted..
No, Souf!

No, no! Souf, calm down!
Calm down!

It's ADHD.
Souf, Souf...

I want chocolate too,
I want chocolate too,

but it's forbidden.
Chocolate is forbidden.

Why? -Why? Why?
Because... what's the time?

7. -Yes, it's 7 o'clock.
And from 7,

selling chocolate in the supermarket
is forbidden. -What?!

Yes, it's a known fact.

I thought that your method says
you must tell the child the truth

and nothing but the truth.
-Do you remember the name of the method?

Stratiner?
-And what is your name? -Oren.

Then do what you want
with the Oren method

and don't intervene in mine.

From 7 p.m., that's the law.
I didn't make it up.

Ask this nice man.

It's forbidden, right?
-Of course. Of course it's forbidden.

You see?

What is this about?

"Playwright Mom".

Every few days you're walking around
the supermarket and out of the blue

you're the lead actor
in the play "Spoiled Brat".

From 7 p.m. the sale of chocolate
is forbidden in the supermarket.

Ah, ah, of course, sweetie,
no selling chocolate after 7 p.m.

There you go.
-Why no selling chocolate after 7 p.m.?

Why?

What's with all the questions?

Because of the law.
-Exactly.

Exactly, because of the law.
No selling after 7 p.m.

Originally, it was from 9
then Begin set up an inquiry committee...

Don't push, keep it natural.

Forgive me, Fellini.

I just got the text this morning,
I didn't go over the character.

And... after...
he set up the inquiry committee,

they... changed the law.

History...
You'll learn about it in high school.

Alright?

Did you understand, Soufileh?
Let's go, sweetheart.

We...

Anatoly. -What?
-What what what?

Do I have to remind you

that in this supermarket
we don't eat chocolate after 7 p.m.?

Huh? -"Playwright Mom."

Ah!

It's 7 already?

Yes, it's the law.
It's forbidden.

it's the law.

It's a big law,
everyone knows, it's the law.

Minimize, dude,
this isn't the Met.

But I want it... -No, no.
-Kid, come here.

I was a kid too when I was a kid,

I got to the supermarket at 7:01
to get chocolate.

As soon as I took chocolate off the shelf,
two policemen grabbed me and said:

"I know you took chocolate!
Put back the chocolate!"

I said: "I don't know,"
then I had nightmares all night,

all my life and it's a scar...
-Anatoly, dude!

In every play there's the actor
who overdoes it

and doesn't stick to the story. -Big deal!
I improvised. The audience loves it.

"Issachar-Bounty"

Are you happy now?!

600 shekels! -Alright...

600 shekels of class and good taste
down the drain because of you!

That's enough. What do you want?
-600 shekels plus emotional distress.

You distressed my emotions, Shira.

This is an emotional hit and run
and you didn't even leave a note.

You're too much, Kohava.
At the register you work with your hands.

What?!
-It's the minimum requirement.

And between us, Kohava,
those nails made you look like a bimbo.

Don't try and suck up to me!

What are you doing?
It's a revenge management app.

"Revenge for you," you know it?
I recommend it.

I'm opening a file for Shira.
Wait, "create revenge," confirm.

You should too.
Without it I get the revenges mixed up,

I don't know whose tea I wanted to spit in,
who I wanted to say is dead,

who I should register on a parking app
just for kicks. Stuff like that.

You see, Souf-Souf?

Not only one nice man
but two nice men are saying it.

"Willy Wonka, Willy Wonka"..
-No buying chocolate.

"Mr. Chocolate"..
-Let's go.

"Willy Wonka, Willy Wonka,
chocolate for everyone."

Then why is this nice man
bringing out more chocolate?

Why? So that cute kids like you
can enjoy it.

Pop rock candy, have you tried it?
-No, we just told him about the law

that as of 7 p.m.
there's no selling chocolate.

We can't sell from 7 p.m.?

But that's hogwash.

No, we sell all our products
during supermarket hours.

But Begin said it's forbidden after 7,
otherwise policemen will yell at me:

"Where's the chocolate, kid?!"

No, that's...
I'm shocked!

Until when will "Levi Bliss" make up
these evil conspiracies about us?

Ramzi... -Don't "Ramzi" me.
It's a lie, kid. A blatant lie.

We sell these chocolates
to whomever it may concern

at all hours, in every generation.
And let no one tell you otherwise.

You can quote me on that. Here you go,
supermarket blowout sale.

Two for the price of one.
Pleasant day to you.

I want the chocolate.
-Keep on wanting.

I want the chocolate!
-Souf! Give me the chocolate!

I want the chocolate!
-I don't want to buy you chocolate!

I want chocolate!
-Okay, get up off the floor! -No!

End of play, curtain, bow.
-Flop.

You want?
It's pop rock candy.

Bring the mic closer.

"Ramzi Abed Ramzi,
all-purpose worker"

"Levi Bliss," it's about time they stopped
spreading that fuck news about us.

I think that Shuni made it up...
So that her son would eat dinner.

She wanted you to play along
with the lie. -Lie to a customer?

With all due respect,
a senior all-purpose employee doesn't lie.

We took an oath, pal.
-Yes, but...

you know, it's a white lie.
-White lie, black lie,

lie with nuts, lie with pop rock candy.
A lie is a lie!

Avihai, do you want to pitch in
for Naomi's gift? -Of course!

I'll even help you pick it out.

Whose birthday?
-Shira, the legendary manager,

the one you affectionately call "Riki".
-Then say Riki! "Shira..."

Very kind of you, thank you.
-Okay then. Go, go.

Yes, come in.
-Hey, Shira. -Yes?

Do you want to pitch in
for Naomi's gift? -If course I do, Esti.

If not me, then who...

That's Naomi's bag?
-Yes.

That's a lot. I mean, no...

As it should be, Naomi.
Our Naomi. That Naomi of ours.

Of course,
so beloved, so...

remember when she...
the dances, the desk on her head?

Naomi, I don't have to tell you...

So beloved.

Yes, of course I want to pitch in.

Here.

Esti, give me back 20...
No need, here.

Naomi.

Naomi, Naomi.

For Naomi.

Wow.

Nice pool for Naomi.

Right?

You could say...

that someone did a very good job
at creating team spirit.

Wow...
Well, if they gave so much for Naomi,

who knows what they gave for me.

"The wind conveys a message
to the sea

"He didn't know
how she envied the ships

"He didn't know..."

"He didn't know..."

This is totally unprecedented!
-What happened?

For Bossga's gift,
one of the employees gave cash...

to the tune
of 600 brand new Israeli shekels!

Is that not wow?
-Wow, yes.

But who is it?
-That's even more wow.

An anonymous benefactor.
Do you realize how modest?

How magnanimous?
-Who do you think it was?

It must be an employee who worships
the tiles that Bossga walks on.

It could be anyone.

Yes, yes, yes, Ramzi told me
about the anonymous benefactor.

What can I say?
That it's not flattering? It is.

I guess I'm doing something right.

No, no.

No, no. no, no, no, no!

Why not? I want it.

And I want a 19 year old Latin lover.
So you want. He wants! You can't!

Why can't I?
Because it's forbidden.

It's forbidden to me too.
-But who forbids it?

Oh, let's ask this nice man.

Excuse me?

Isn't it true that you don't sell this
to customers over 60?

Ah, uh... Yes.

It's... a new law.
Because of the sodium.

Basically, it used to be for over 50,
but then Peres intervened.

Thanks...
-What?!

Come, please.

"Happy bad hair day to you

"Happy bad hair day to you

"Happy bad hair day to Shira

"Happy bad hair day to you!"

You guys!

Happy birthday, Naomi!

Riki, don't sweat it,
43 is just a number.

Shira.

43? -43.
-No, no, no, no way!

Guys, I'm 34.
This got mixed up.

Everyone listen up!
Everyone listen up!

It's on to the main event,
the presents. -Oy!

I don't understand

why you went to all this trouble
of getting me a gift,

when you're my gift.

This is for you.

It's always so moving, I swear.
-Wow.

No way.
-Thank you...

No way!
Barsa versus Atleticol

This is a record! You guys rock!
-You deserve it. -Esti's coming with.

I love you.

Now it's Bossga's turn.
-Beautiful. Naomi, sweetie.

First of all,

before I open the gifty I got,

all kidding aside,
let's all take our laughter...

and set it aside,

and you know me,
this is an opportunity for me...

to thank you,

for being like family to me

and I want you to know
that I don't care what's in... this box.

What matters
is what's inside your bodies.

That heart.

And I see your heart,
yours, yours, yours... -Go on.

Open it.

What do you give a woman
who has it all?

It was Chibotero's idea, it... boxes.

Press it.

Happy birthday!
-Enjoy it, you deserve it.

It suits you so well.
-Enjoy. -It's great.

Beautiful.
-Kohava...

Okay.
-Kohava...

Let's drink.
Ramzi, come here a sec.

Yes, Bossga?

Ramzi, what is this?
-You didn't like your gift?

It... it goes like this...

and... like this.
It's a boxing frog.

Ramzi, that's enough.

This gift cost 20 shekels at the most.
If I exaggerate.

You are exaggerating a bit,
but what is it you always say?

"It's not the cash,
it's the time and the effort."

No, I don't think I say that,
but I don't care.

Where did the money go?

From the anonymous benefactor?
-The anonymous... Ah,

he took his donation back.
-"He took his donation back?"

He changed his mind,
he asked me for his money back.

Who asked you? Who?
-He wishes to remain anonymous.

Ramzi, don't drive me crazy.
Don't drive me crazy. -I'm not...

It's alright, Ramzi.
I have nothing to hide.

Kohava?
-As you must have suspected,

I'm the anonymous benefactor.

At first I donated generously,
in secret, I don't like to boast,

but then, within minutes
after I donated,

I got unfortunate news,
my mother needed emergency surgery

in the small intestine,
which is the more expensive one.

I had no choice but to take back
said generous donation.

I apologize and beg your forgiveness.

Oh, Kohava, Kohava.

It's alright, Ramzi.
-Kohava. -Shira.

Kohava.
-Shira.

Kohava.
-Shira.

Kohava. -Is this going anywhere,
this "Kohava, Shira, Kohava, Shira"?

Kohava, you didn't donate the money.
-Of course I did.

If not me, then whom?
-I don't know.

I don't know who did, but... not you.

Did anyone put 600 shekels
in Ramzi's bag for Shira's gift?

Who puts 600 shekels?

No.

Who’s left?

Just me.

Well then...
-Has to be proven.

Kohava.
-We can watch the CCTV footage

and see who put it in. You want to?
-Yes, I can check. -No, no, no,

no need, guys,
no need for an inquiry committee.

Well then, I guess it was me, right?

guess it was you.

You're welcome.
-Thank you for the donation.

Kohava, you're all heart.

And tits, Ramzi.
Heart and tits.

What can you do?

Sometimes you have to take justice
into your own hands.

Or in my case, your fingernails.

"Revenge... complete."

"Delete revenge."
Delete.

Revenge deleted.
You have nine open revenges.

8 and 9 can be connected,
they're both Nissim.

'll leave them.

"Today we're all celebrating

"a special person called 'Bossga'

"We bought her a gift,
we baked a cake

"She likes coffee,
she enjoys knitting too

"She rules the supermarket

"with roses and twine

"She may be aging

but she has no... expiry date

"Expiry, expiry date

"Bossga, Bossga, Bossga

"Shira, Shira, Shira

"Bossga, Bossga, Bossga

"Shira, Shira, Bossga"

Chibotero, help me out.

"Shira, Shira, Shira,

"Bossga, Bossga, Bossga

"Shira, Shira, Shira

"Ta, ta, ta."

She's so emotional.

When words move, they move.

No what or whatsoever.

Sir?

I think that sweater
you're wearing is mine.

What sweater?
-The sweater you're wearing!

No way!
I got this sweater for my birthday.

Sir, it's my sweater, I can tell.
-Gegangen!

I lost it! -Go!
-That's my sweater!

That's ridiculous!
-"Gegangen"?

That's my sweater!
-Go away!

Go tell the manager. -I will.
Sir, where are you going?

I'm talking to you, that's my sweater.
-Talk to the lamppost.

But it's my sweater, Sir!
-Your sweater...

It's a woman's sweater, can't you see?
-Tell it to your father.