Cash Register (2018–…): Season 2, Episode 5 - The Big Derby - full transcript

Kan 11 presents

Okay, guys, listen up,

today we have an important away game
against "Zanani Kitchens."

A team of carpenters. -Not only,
their goalie is an accountant.

I don't have to remind you
that we are rivals. -Shakali!

No matter what happens,
we have one thing they don't.

Abrasha mascot!

No, you idiot, me.

You only pass to me.

No way victory isn't ours,
is that clear? -Clear!

Two years ago
I made an old dream come true.



I signed us up
for the workplace soccer leag

Congrats.

How do you and soccer go together?
-How do we go together?

I was a star in Netanya's youth club.
The great Revivo was my replacement.

"Arsenal" showed an interest
in my player card!

I bet you can't tell the way I look now.

I wouldn't say that,
you're not that... chunky.

Chunky? I was referring to the kippah.
You think I'm fat, Shenkin?

Let's see those hands.

Issachar. -Bounty!
-Issachar. -Bounty!

Bounty, Bounty, Bounty,
Bounty, Bounty, Bounty!

I created an empire.

Anatoly's an octopus goalie,
Naomi's an axe in defense,

Chibotero..



We're solid!

There's only one problem.

Bounty, Bounty, Bounty!

They were 100 percent,
they were 100 percent.

Ignore me, I'm a mosquito in the room.
They were...

I just came to say, Nissim...
-No, no.

Good lucky.

Guys.

And to say that you are all wonderful.

The professional manager of the team.

When Nissim came up to me
all humble and modest

and asked for funds
to get together the soccer team,

it was one of the easiest decisions
I ever made as a manager.

Why?
Because what is sports?

It's a shared experience,
a social activity.

That's more important to me
that a win or a lose.

Sounds like it matters to Nissim...
-With all due respect to Nissim,

and I do respect him, he's just the coach.
I'm the professional manager of the team.

And what does that mean?

That she nagged me so I made up a position
to make her feel important.

It doesn't mean a thing.

Professional manager.
What is this, "Bayern Munich"?

Okay, guys, these are the lineups.
-Lineups.

Anatoly, you're goalie.
Naomi, center-back.

Brandon, you are libero, 50-50.

Coach say no nervous.
Pass pass, it's come, okay?

Sasi, you're middle fielder,
I'm center forward. Are we go®d?

Wait, wait... I'm out again?
-Chibotero, in, out,

as long as we're together.
-No, no, no,

you've been bamboozling me all season.

-Do you know who I am?

The great Stelmach shined my shoes.
-When he comes, you'll play. Let's go...

No, no, no... hold on,
excuse me, excuse me.

Dear Nissim, forgive me for interfering
in your professional judgment,

but I think that even if one player
feels slighted,

what happens to the sports activity?
It goes down the drain.

So maybe this time Anatoly should rest
and Chibotero will be the goalie.

Rest? I rested the entire shift, Lady.

Shira, may I have a word?
-Yes.

As coach, I think that
an 82 year old goalie is a mistake.

As professional manager,

in the long run it's more important
that the whole team take part.

As coach I'm telling you
that Chibotero and long run

don't go together, sweetheart.

Then as professional manager
I'm telling you, either everyone plays

or I cut off the funds and no more
practice for you. Alright, sweetheart?

Then as coach I say,
Chibotero, you're in instead of Anatoly.

Yes! -Nissim, what happened?
-Coach, I won't let you down.

And I remind you all

when you work together,
no one loses.

Fuckin' 4-0 because your goalie takes
a piss every five minutes so everyone loses.

Did Chibotero really stand
in the goal post? -"Stand."

Until minute seven he stood,
then his knee made noises,

we got him a chair. We should have got him
a toilet, so he wouldn't go pee every second.

Checkout

"The Big Derby"

Hey!

Excuse me. -Hey, Shira,
how's it going, sugarplum?

Oren Kushtai is the manager
of "Levi Bliss,"

our rival across the street.

Since we moved to this location,
I am forced to see him often.

How can I put this? Kushtai is...
excuse my French, he's...

an unpleasant man.

There, I said it, okay?

He keeps looking for my warts
in order to stomp on them.

Metaphorical warts. Not...
Not my warts, I don't have warts.

Sugarplum, you wanted to park here?
Aw... I didn't see you.

That's what happens when a manager
gets a small car, you can't see it.

Good morning, Kushtai.
I'm sure you saw the sign -

Reserved for manager
of 'Issachar Bounty'."

There's a sign that says
"Lowest prices in Yavne."

So? People write all kinds of things,
sentences, words, exclamation marks...

Fine. -Punctuation marks...
-Very clever.

Quotation marks, ellipsis.
Very clever. -Period. -Mr. Kushtai.

Yes. -I'd love to expound on
punctuation marks with you,

but I'm short on time.
Now you'll say,

short like our line at the cheese counter.
-Now you're getting my drift.

Could you please move your car?

Sure, sugarplum, no problem.
-Thank you.

Kushtai..

Kushtai, this isn't funny!

This isn't funny, Kushtai!

Oren Kushtai!

"Issachar Bounty"

How about a fine wine?
On sale for Valentine's, 29.90.

Shit wine.
-Bless you, Kohava. -Shut up.

This week we have a sale on wine,
or as I call it,

"Avihai's stuck with expired wine
and has to get rid of it fast."

So the cashiers are competing,

whoever sells the most wine
gets a prize. -What's the prize?

A swanky gift -
Avihai's old chair.

It goes up, down, turns,
forward, backward.

You sit on it and feel like a bus driver.

Show me.

Shit wine.

Sure, why not? -Cool.

How about some wine?
On sale for Valentine's.

You said it's shit wine.

That particular one is,
but this one is deluxe.

It looks like Esti is doing better.
-The customers pity her...

They think, she must be poor,
we'll help her out’.

I have a problem, I don't...
you know, I radiate success,

sophisticated, splendor.
It works against me.

And yet, I'm going to win that chair
by hook or by crook. -How?

You have to filter out customers
that convey lost cause and stinginess.

No, over there.
I'm closed for renovations.

But when a customer approaches
that conveys cheap wine and naivete,

you hint that he should come to you.

Hey!
Good looking.

Yes, you, why are you turning around?
Come over here...

Here, right here.
-Hi.

Then, you butter up, you flatter,
you give the goo goo eye.

Oh, what do I see here?

So pretty. Your girlfriend?
-Yes, my girlfriend.

What's a pretty girl like her
doing with an ugly mope like you?

Then when you've reeled him in,
you toss the bomb.

Won't you pamper her
with some wine for Valentine's

so she doesn't bail on you?
-Wine? No, no.

We're Muslims, we don't drink.

You're what?
-Give me five of those?

What?! Are you kidding me?

You're homeless
and you're buying wine?

Drink vodka like everyone else.

Wine... You got an anniversary
with a dumpster?

"Levi Bliss,"
don't compromise on your happiness.

Here, Ma'am,
don't compromise on your happiness.

Here, Sir,
don't compromise on your happiness.

Just "Levi Bliss," people!
-No, no, no!

You're standing here handing out
"Levi Bliss" flyers?! Here?

Chibotero. -What?

You're just going to sit there
and say nothing? -I told him!

Great specials.
Look what I bought.

Ma'am, don't compromise
on your happiness.

Do you think I'm joking?
I'm not joking. -Hey, hey,

why so brutal?
Is this any way to treat neighbors?

Hello, Mr. Kushkushi.

Handing out flyers
in front of my supermarket

is against professional ethics
and you know it, Kushtai.

You're right, I apologize,
there's been a mistake.

Okay.
-What are you doing here?

I told you to go where there are people.
No one goes near this place.

Let's go, there's a game on Wednesday,
we don't want to waste it all now.

What game?
-The soccer league.

The Yavne supermarkets derby.
-We'll grind you real thin

and make couscous out of you.
You'll be on the next flyer, huh?

I wouldn't laugh if I were you,
we have an awesome team this year.

Yes, yes.

Our captain was this close
to getting into... "Arsenal."

He didn't because Reviva replaced him.

Laugh all you want.
Stelmach used to shine my shoes.

Let's go, this air is bad for us.

We'll tear you apart, Kushtai!
-What's that? -You heard me.

We'll tear you apart.

Tell me when, where
and we'll tear you apart.

When and where? Wednesday,
8 o'clock at the community center.

Okay, so... Wednesday at 8
we'll tear you apart.

What do we bet on?
-Whatever you want.

The loser works at the other's
supermarket for two hours.

A whole day. -Done.
-You're on.

We'll tear you apart.

Abrasha, we gotta change your shirt.
-Good morning, Nissim.

Gather everyone up for practice.
-Practice? It's 9 a.m.,

the rush is going to start.
-Ramzi will take care of that.

Just you focus
on tearing "Levi Bliss" apart on Wednesday.

I thought it's not about the competition.
"When you have fun, no one loses."

Yes, and when do you have fun?
When Kushtai loses.

Go on, get everyone together, Nissim.
-Abrasha, I'll be right back.

You've gone through a change recently.
-No, no, no... No change at all.

No change, everything's the same.

Maybe I'm putting more emphasis
on the motif of winning.

But other than that..

the same Steinbuch.

Chibotero, with your head.
Up! Up! - Nice.

No! That was nearly an own goal.
-Anatoly, you're sleepy!

Get it. -Good, Nissim.
-Chibotero, alone, alone...

Be close! Be close, Nissim!

Naomi, what are you doing?!

Give it here! I got it!
-Hey, what's that?

Stop, stop. -Penalty.
-Be close.

Let him concentrate.
-Go, Chibotero.

Let's go, three on three.
-Play soccer!

But no one's passing me...
-Don't yell at him. He's a talent.

Gimme! Gimme!
-Go, go, go.

Naomi, Naomi, kick it!

We're playing,

you keep looking the wrong way.
The players have to stay close.

But how many players?
Is your family coming to visit?

I'm here, he passes to me,
I run over here.

Ready?-Run! Run! Run!
-Get over here!

Nissim! -Run!

Good luck on Wednesday,
huh, Steinbuch?

Oh, and start from the bathroom.
-What?

Thursday, when you come to clean,
start with the bathroom.

"Don't complicate execution. Too many
participants - the odds of failing increase.

"Ensure all the participants
know what they have to do,

"ensure the kick is performed
by the appropriate player."

I told them that.

Shira. -Hold on, Nissim.
-But we have*to talk.

Right. I want us to start practicing
the diamond formation

instead of the flank formation.
-What diamond? -Diamond.

Listen, the guys are dead tired.
They can't practice twice a day.

Did I tell you
that we're not "Juventus"?

It's just a game, five against five,
just some supermarket employees.

But we'll win, right?
We'll win, won't we?

Nissim, we're going to win...
What are our chances of winning?

Victory is elusive. -Oh...
-The "Levi Bliss" guys are good.

Nissim, you're telling me that? You?

Haim Revive replaced you
on the youth team...

Did I say Haim?
I said the great Revive.

Haim Revivo's cousin.

Besides, he's adopted.
A whole other set of genes.

Now you'll tell me that Anatoly
didn't play for Moldova.

He did. -Phew.
-Moldova prison.

He was their captain, I think.

That's it?

Won't you invite me to some wine?
-Kohava, you...

What, you're 22, I’m... 36.
-36?-What did you think?

I thought you’re around 50.
-50? You think?

No way, I'm thirty... six did I say?
36. -Kohava!

Now you'll see a 50 year old.

I want to remind..

Hi, nice to meet you,
I'm Shira Steinbuch, I'm the manager.

Dolev Havashi.
-A childhood friend of my eldest.

I use to nurse him
when his mom was with the neighbor,

look what became of him!
A soccer player for Hapoel.

Maccabi. -Maccabi, Hapoel,
what's the difference?

It's all thanks to these.

Wait, Kohava. Did you just say...
You're a soccer player?

Before the holidays,
I decided to reinforce the supermarket

with a few new employees.
-The holidays are in 6 months, Rabbi.

Okay, fine. Let's meet them.

Guys!

Please meet Dolev, Kfir,
Kobi, Almog and Ido.

Who are these beasts?
-Welcome to the "Issachar Bounty" family.

I know you from somewhere.
-This is Nissim. He's our butcher.

Sometimes he dabbles
in coaching our soccer team.

Do you know anything about soccer?

We play for Maccabi Shaarayim,
A League. -I knew I know you!

What?!

I'm... what?!

Did you hear them?

I'm laughing because
we have a soccer match

against the rival supermarket
and you... we can include...

Shira, what's going on here?
-What's going on? A rare coincidence.

Okay then, go show them the ropes.
-Of course, gladly.

Okay. -Wow, I envy you guys,
your first day at the supermarket.

Ooh, you have a thick neck.
Come on, let's go.

I don't know if hiring them...
was intuition or... fate.

What really going on, Shira?

Nissim, you said you're all tired
and you want to rest.

Rest?! This is our team,
we founded it, Shira!

Clean up here when you're done, okay?
I don't feel like picking up lighters and...

Bye.

Nice.

Great.

This is how you play. Nissim. Look.

Think of it as a lesson,
don't be so down in...

Riki, Riki.
-Ball in the carton bin!

Riki! Riki!
-Shira, Avihai.

You change your name? -No...
-Rumor has it

that of your own accord
and without asking anyone

you hired five soccer players
as new employees

just to play soccer against "Levi Bliss."
True or false?

Avihai...
-Answer me, true or false?

True.

My sweet, my sugar,

finally after working here for six months
you do something good.

Three years, thank you. -That Kushtai,
the devil, you tear him apart.

Did you know that every month
they exceed us in sales

he puts a picture he took of his ass
with a copy machine on my car?

No, no, no... -Look.
Why are you carrying it around?

Get rid of the picture.
-That Kushtai,

I'm telling you, tear him apart,
slaughter him,

get coaches, get players,
get Eran Zehavi for all I care.

Believe me, I feel like hugging you.

No, not now. You're sweating.

Who are they?
-My employees, of course.

Since when? -For years.
They were counting inventory.

Yes, there was tons of inventory.

See you at the game, huh, Kushtai?

Scum.

In the year 1964,

a sweet baby was born
called Issachar Shkedi

and with him, a dream.

"Issachar Bounty"

I would write this down if I were you.
-Excuse me. Hey, hey.

Huh, Big Boss? -Ramzi, what's going on?
-I'm showing them the ropes.

They're going to be here for one week,
so please, the abridged version.

This is the abridged version,
we skipped the events from '47 to '63.

Okay, Ramzi, okay.
Just give them an easy task, okay?

Not too grueling because...
-Okay. -You have an important game.

No problem, something easy.
Let's unload the watermelon truck.

No, Ramzi, easy, easy.
-Unloading watermelons is easy

and more important, it's fun.
Fun means easy

and easy means fun.

Okay, alright. I have something.
Don't worry, follow me.

Cleanup? Do I work here?
-Basically, yes.

For the game tomorrow,
not to sweep up flies.

What can we do?

That alien will see we slacked off
and drive us nuts. -Dolev! Kfir!

Dolev!

Come on... let's mess with him.

Go on, get in.
-Dolev! -Get in!

Dolev, Kfir...

You didn't scrub or wipe!

Dolev?

Dolev!

Dolev?

He's gone. -Open the door. -It won't open.
-What? I'm claustrophobic.

Hey! -Ramzi! -Hello!
-Someone open up!

Kohava! -Someone open up!
-Kohava! -Hello!

Dolev?
-They have stage three hypothermia.

What?! -Don't worry.
A few days of rest, warm liquids,

they'll be good as new.
-No! A few days? A few days?

They have a major soccer match.
-They have to get their body heat up,

it will take at least a week.
-A week?! Soccer heats up!

This is what happens
when you slacken the ropes.

Nissim.

How are the most important players
on my team?

Nissim.

Naomi...

Red wine for Valentine's?
-No, thank you.

It's a special wine, it's fruity, minty,
I got it for all my grandkids.

I said no.

Ma'am, Cabernet?
-Yes. -Great decision.

Are you sure? -Yes.
-You bought entrecote,

why not down it with some dry clover?
-No. -Your daughter wants it,

but she's shy. -I don't want it.
-For your wife then? -She died.

Then in her memory,
honor her with some wine.

Okay, can you ring us up?
He said no. -And I respect that.

Do you want to hear about our specials?
-Well? -Stain remover, white wine,

the best red wine stain remover,
I got it for all my grandkids.

We said no!
-Okay, but why not?!

You want me to tell you why not?
Fine, I'll tell you why not.

Because I'm a recovering alcoholic,
four years, three months and two days.

Because of that poison I lost my money,
my job, my wife died of sorrow

and it's only because of this little one
who didn't despair and sent me to rehab

that I've been clean for four years.
And you wanna force that wine on me?

I wouldn't buy it for 20 shekels!
Pay me and I won't buy it!

Alright, I'm sorry.
-Shove your "sorry" you know where.

Calm down, Dad. -No, I can't.
You know what happens to me.

Your sponsor said you mustn't get upset.
-But it's-annoying! -Sshhh... calm down.

You know what happens to me...
-Nothing will break you.

Cabernet Sauvignon 2003,
harvest aroma?

One wine on special.
-No, give me all of them.

Excellent choice.

I can't say I feel good about what I did.

Because I feel great!

Awesome!

Elated!

Good?
Good is an understation.

What a smell, can you smell it?
The smell of victory.

A new chair

and kashkaval puffed pastry.
Right out of the oven.

Wanna bite?

"Issachar Bounty"

Dad?

Shira.

Listen, I...
I won't be at work tomorrow.

No, because...

I have to be at "Levi Bliss."

Oh, just this seminar that...

The guys went to play against "Levi Bliss"
and I opted to stay here.

If we have to lose, I don't want Kushtai
twerking in front of my face

and singing, "Issachar Bounty,
the milk's bitter, the client died."

Those Fascists, they crushed us.

Bummer bummer...
-It's okay, Nissim, it's okay.

It's about the sport and friendship...

Bummer bummer
that we're out of champagne

and we only got Lambrusco.

"Issachar Bounty,

"the prices are cheap,
the customer is precious."

"Levi Bliss" is dead!
"Levi Bliss" is dead! -What?!

"Levi Bliss" is dead!

Listen, the whole game we miss,
miss, miss, miss. Final irtinmte,

penalty kick, yours truly got the baill,
Nissim style, invented before a I el®,

I run, run, run, listen,
what a pathetic kick,

I don't know how I scored!
-The hand of God.

The goalie fumbles, boom! 1:0 for us.
-ThaTs called playing for the logo.

Jump or bite the dust!

What logo, dude?

Before the game I gave
each "Levi Bliss" player 200

and 400 to the goalie,
to spread his legs.

You think Avihai Grazian's gonna rely
on that sack of potatoes?

Shira? -"Shira"? No!
I was referring to Nissim.

But you know what,
that goes for Shira too.

Jump or bite the dust!

Jump or bite the dust!

Jump or bite the dust!

Cheers.

Where's the copy machine?
-Here.

What do you need it for?

No, no, no!
AvTfiai, Avihai, no! No, no...

The glass is cold, you know?
-Are you done?

Tell me, where does that scum park?
-In his spot at "Levi Bliss."

In the year 1964,

a sweet baby was born,
called Issachar Shkedi.

The lonq version, Ramzi, the long one.
And slowly.

You saw what happened
when you slackened the ropes.

Kushkai, you're a lucky man.

Okay, we go back 60 years
to the plains of distant Siberia.

I'm not staying for this
-When Avraham Shkedislavsky

snuck into the hull
of the ferry to Palestine,

a dream in his heart.

Kushkai, here.
The blood, thank you.

Translation: Tammy King
Subtitles: Trans Titles Ltd.