C.O.P.S. (1988–1989): Season 1, Episode 4 - The Case of Berserko's Big Surprise - full transcript
Berserko and his gang go on a robbing spree in order to pick up party favors and gifts for the Big Boss's Birthday.
C.O.P.S.
Central Organization of Police Specialists.
Fighting crime. In a future time.
Protecting Empire City from
Big Boss and his gang of crooks.
C.O.P.S.
C.O.P.S.
It's crime fighting time.
The case of Beserko's big surprise.
Cops file 98004, the most
chaotic caper of our career.
This near-disaster
for Empire City began
when the Big Boss'
man-servent Squeeky Kleen,
made a surprise visit to
Berzerko's secret hideout.
Here's how the caper came down.
Ahh!
Berserko!
Hey everybody! It's squeaky!
It's okay. That's
my old laundry.
Heya squeaky. You
want a piece of chicken?
Forget chicken. Think cake!
Tomorrow's the Big Boss' birthday.
Uh, Geez squeaky.
I forgot all about it.
I thought you would. That's why I have
arranged to draw a surprise party for him.
Here's a shopping list.
It tells you exactly what to buy.
Baloons? Onion dip? Birthday cake?
I'm ready to come down now, Berserko.
All right! Dani!
Here's $10,000 I took out of a
petty cash. I hope it's enough.
More than enough.
Why spend money? We're
Crooks. Let's steal some party favors.
And I want the bug-eye
monster and the walrus,
and the fish head
and the skeleton.
That'll be $400.
Thanks for shopping at Partyville,
home of the world's largest balloon.
Where are these masks?
He won't know who's robbing the place.
A criminal genius.
That's what I am.
Huh? Huh? Whoaah!
All right! This is a stick-up!
- You're joking, right?
[upbeat music]
Thank you, Officer. Maybe you can help
us identify the suspects from our mug file.
I can't believe they just robbed my
store wearing masks I just sold them.
There's only one crook mindless
enough to pull a stunt like that.
Berserko!
That's him.
He's the one who stole the world's
largest balloon. And I want it back.
I need to get this pressure when
you get it straight from the factory. Hey!
Ah! Oh well! It's
only the shopping list.
Huh?
Ah, noise makers,
balloons, onion dip.
Sounds to me like
Berserko's throwing a party.
Hey! This could be our chance
to nap all the crooks in one place.
If this shopping
list is accurate,
the next thing Berzerko plans
to steal is a birthday cake.
Call an all points bulletin.
We'll check every bakery in town.
[Laughs]
Think boss legs, layered cake.
Don't drop it!
Berserko's pull off some
pretty wacky robberies,
but this one really
takes the cake.
There's one of our suspects!
[Music]
You! with the cake! Freeze!
He can't keep this up for long.
Hey, Thad! Over here!
Calling all cops units, suspects
fleeing in Sector C-1/4 sanitation drains,
cover all exterior outlets
within a three mile radius.
That's a lot of sewer to cover, Bulls-eye.
Yeah, but if we can track'em, we might
get the crash a party, full of crooks.
Mirage to bulletproof. The suspects
are heading south in the waterfront.
I'm in disguise and in pursuit.
Good! You bought the cake.
Yeah, we bought the cake!
Where's the big boss's present?
- What present?
How could you forget? the
surprise party starts in a few hours!
We didn't forget.
We just didn't know what to get him.
Well, he is hard to buy for.
And what you get for the
boss who's stolen everything.
What doesn't uncle big boss have?
Welcome to the afternoon
edition of Empire News.
Today's big local news.
The grand opening of Empire
city's cornucopia bridge.
The ribbon cutting ceremony will
begin at three o'clock this afternoon.
Mayor Davis will be on
hand to do the honors.
He doesn't have a bridge!
You... You can't steal
a bridge. It's impossible!
You're talking to the guy who
just stole the world's largest balloon!
Hiya... Fellas.
Look! Teddy caught us a spy!
Yeah, that's right, I am a spy.
The big boss sent me.
Oh no! If the big boss finds out
about the party, he won't be surprised.
Don't worry squeaky. The big boss
will be surprised. Just you wait and see.
Come on! You're going
to help us steal a bridge!
Don't be late for the party.
You wouldn't want to miss the cake.
Here's with great pleasure
that I stand before you today.
At the inaugural celebration of Empire
cities, Mayor's architectural wonder.
When it comes to...
- Why the banana street Berserko?
So you'll stape one! I don't want
you spoiling the big boss' surprise!
But maybe I can help you steal the bridge.
Why don't you let me in on the plan?
What? It's foil! You're surprised?
And so without further ado, I
officially open the cornucopia bridge
and dedicate it to the
citizens of Empire city.
[Applause]
Ha ha ha ha.
About time! I thought that
old windbag had never shut up!
Crime's a wasted!
- What?!
Wanna see something swell?
[Berserko laughs]
I'm concerned. Mirage hasn't checked
in since she spotted the suspects.
Hey, it's a total disaster!
Mayor Davis, what happened?
Pretty neat, huh?
So you inflated the world's
largest balloon. Big deal.
What do you mean big deal?
That balloon's gonna fly this baby
to the big boss' inside for the party!
Hey, look! Fireworks! The mayor's
sure knows how to throw a party!
[Berserko laughs]
Big boss will be here any minute.
Everyone got their noise makers?
Hey!
Shh! I hear someone coming!
Ah! It's an ambush!
Happy Birthdy, big boss!
Well, why , Squeeky. A surprise party?!
Why, you shouldn't have.
Well, alright, now
what did you get me?
I think you better ask Berserko.
Oh, ok. Where is my
numbskull nephew anyway?
He's out stealing the cornucopia bridge
The what?!
- The cornucopia bridge.
Your birthday present.
Berserko, you nimbwit!
- Sounds like uncle big boss!
Nah.. I must be hearing things.
In a few seconds this
bridge will be blown on air!
Not in this rate it won't.
Who touches a wired explosives anyway.
Well, if you're so smart, do it yourself!
Someone peel me out of this Banana skin.
Better not try anything funny,
smarty pants! I am watching you.
Cops! Com'on Banana
brain, hurry it up!
Fireworks! This might be just
the thing to crash Berserko's party!
Can you make out what's
going on down there?
Berserko's in a celery suit,
but there's enough TNT
on that bridge to blow
up half of Empire City.
Let's be careful. It's Mirage!
She wants us to stall for time!
What is that nut trying to do?
It looks like that nut's
trying to blow that bridge
off its support so
he can fly it away!
What? Is that possible?
- Of course not,
but he might hurt a
lot of people trying.
Well, let's get him!
Mace! We wait for Mirage.
She has the situation under control.
Get a move on! We're gonna be
late for the big boss' surprise party!
Okay, bright boy, it's all yours!
This is gonna be a hysterical moment!
Don't you mean historical?
Yeah! That too!
[Laughing]
Oh, it looks like fun!
Hate to burst your bubble, Berserko,
but I'm a cop and you're under arrest.
Aww! Just when I was
gonna invite you to the party!
Berserko! He's gone!
Time to clear the bridge!
No, Mace.
- Oh?
As cops were obligated to return
stolen property to its rightful owners.
The crooks that attempted to steal the
cornucopia bridge were sentenced to jail.
After an exhaustive search, Berserko
was officially declared missing.
Oh, why not wait for the cake!
No, Berserko, we saved
a big face just for you!
C.O.P.S file, 98004.
The case of Berserko's big surprise.
Case closed.
Central Organization of Police Specialists.
Fighting crime. In a future time.
Protecting Empire City from
Big Boss and his gang of crooks.
C.O.P.S.
C.O.P.S.
It's crime fighting time.
The case of Beserko's big surprise.
Cops file 98004, the most
chaotic caper of our career.
This near-disaster
for Empire City began
when the Big Boss'
man-servent Squeeky Kleen,
made a surprise visit to
Berzerko's secret hideout.
Here's how the caper came down.
Ahh!
Berserko!
Hey everybody! It's squeaky!
It's okay. That's
my old laundry.
Heya squeaky. You
want a piece of chicken?
Forget chicken. Think cake!
Tomorrow's the Big Boss' birthday.
Uh, Geez squeaky.
I forgot all about it.
I thought you would. That's why I have
arranged to draw a surprise party for him.
Here's a shopping list.
It tells you exactly what to buy.
Baloons? Onion dip? Birthday cake?
I'm ready to come down now, Berserko.
All right! Dani!
Here's $10,000 I took out of a
petty cash. I hope it's enough.
More than enough.
Why spend money? We're
Crooks. Let's steal some party favors.
And I want the bug-eye
monster and the walrus,
and the fish head
and the skeleton.
That'll be $400.
Thanks for shopping at Partyville,
home of the world's largest balloon.
Where are these masks?
He won't know who's robbing the place.
A criminal genius.
That's what I am.
Huh? Huh? Whoaah!
All right! This is a stick-up!
- You're joking, right?
[upbeat music]
Thank you, Officer. Maybe you can help
us identify the suspects from our mug file.
I can't believe they just robbed my
store wearing masks I just sold them.
There's only one crook mindless
enough to pull a stunt like that.
Berserko!
That's him.
He's the one who stole the world's
largest balloon. And I want it back.
I need to get this pressure when
you get it straight from the factory. Hey!
Ah! Oh well! It's
only the shopping list.
Huh?
Ah, noise makers,
balloons, onion dip.
Sounds to me like
Berserko's throwing a party.
Hey! This could be our chance
to nap all the crooks in one place.
If this shopping
list is accurate,
the next thing Berzerko plans
to steal is a birthday cake.
Call an all points bulletin.
We'll check every bakery in town.
[Laughs]
Think boss legs, layered cake.
Don't drop it!
Berserko's pull off some
pretty wacky robberies,
but this one really
takes the cake.
There's one of our suspects!
[Music]
You! with the cake! Freeze!
He can't keep this up for long.
Hey, Thad! Over here!
Calling all cops units, suspects
fleeing in Sector C-1/4 sanitation drains,
cover all exterior outlets
within a three mile radius.
That's a lot of sewer to cover, Bulls-eye.
Yeah, but if we can track'em, we might
get the crash a party, full of crooks.
Mirage to bulletproof. The suspects
are heading south in the waterfront.
I'm in disguise and in pursuit.
Good! You bought the cake.
Yeah, we bought the cake!
Where's the big boss's present?
- What present?
How could you forget? the
surprise party starts in a few hours!
We didn't forget.
We just didn't know what to get him.
Well, he is hard to buy for.
And what you get for the
boss who's stolen everything.
What doesn't uncle big boss have?
Welcome to the afternoon
edition of Empire News.
Today's big local news.
The grand opening of Empire
city's cornucopia bridge.
The ribbon cutting ceremony will
begin at three o'clock this afternoon.
Mayor Davis will be on
hand to do the honors.
He doesn't have a bridge!
You... You can't steal
a bridge. It's impossible!
You're talking to the guy who
just stole the world's largest balloon!
Hiya... Fellas.
Look! Teddy caught us a spy!
Yeah, that's right, I am a spy.
The big boss sent me.
Oh no! If the big boss finds out
about the party, he won't be surprised.
Don't worry squeaky. The big boss
will be surprised. Just you wait and see.
Come on! You're going
to help us steal a bridge!
Don't be late for the party.
You wouldn't want to miss the cake.
Here's with great pleasure
that I stand before you today.
At the inaugural celebration of Empire
cities, Mayor's architectural wonder.
When it comes to...
- Why the banana street Berserko?
So you'll stape one! I don't want
you spoiling the big boss' surprise!
But maybe I can help you steal the bridge.
Why don't you let me in on the plan?
What? It's foil! You're surprised?
And so without further ado, I
officially open the cornucopia bridge
and dedicate it to the
citizens of Empire city.
[Applause]
Ha ha ha ha.
About time! I thought that
old windbag had never shut up!
Crime's a wasted!
- What?!
Wanna see something swell?
[Berserko laughs]
I'm concerned. Mirage hasn't checked
in since she spotted the suspects.
Hey, it's a total disaster!
Mayor Davis, what happened?
Pretty neat, huh?
So you inflated the world's
largest balloon. Big deal.
What do you mean big deal?
That balloon's gonna fly this baby
to the big boss' inside for the party!
Hey, look! Fireworks! The mayor's
sure knows how to throw a party!
[Berserko laughs]
Big boss will be here any minute.
Everyone got their noise makers?
Hey!
Shh! I hear someone coming!
Ah! It's an ambush!
Happy Birthdy, big boss!
Well, why , Squeeky. A surprise party?!
Why, you shouldn't have.
Well, alright, now
what did you get me?
I think you better ask Berserko.
Oh, ok. Where is my
numbskull nephew anyway?
He's out stealing the cornucopia bridge
The what?!
- The cornucopia bridge.
Your birthday present.
Berserko, you nimbwit!
- Sounds like uncle big boss!
Nah.. I must be hearing things.
In a few seconds this
bridge will be blown on air!
Not in this rate it won't.
Who touches a wired explosives anyway.
Well, if you're so smart, do it yourself!
Someone peel me out of this Banana skin.
Better not try anything funny,
smarty pants! I am watching you.
Cops! Com'on Banana
brain, hurry it up!
Fireworks! This might be just
the thing to crash Berserko's party!
Can you make out what's
going on down there?
Berserko's in a celery suit,
but there's enough TNT
on that bridge to blow
up half of Empire City.
Let's be careful. It's Mirage!
She wants us to stall for time!
What is that nut trying to do?
It looks like that nut's
trying to blow that bridge
off its support so
he can fly it away!
What? Is that possible?
- Of course not,
but he might hurt a
lot of people trying.
Well, let's get him!
Mace! We wait for Mirage.
She has the situation under control.
Get a move on! We're gonna be
late for the big boss' surprise party!
Okay, bright boy, it's all yours!
This is gonna be a hysterical moment!
Don't you mean historical?
Yeah! That too!
[Laughing]
Oh, it looks like fun!
Hate to burst your bubble, Berserko,
but I'm a cop and you're under arrest.
Aww! Just when I was
gonna invite you to the party!
Berserko! He's gone!
Time to clear the bridge!
No, Mace.
- Oh?
As cops were obligated to return
stolen property to its rightful owners.
The crooks that attempted to steal the
cornucopia bridge were sentenced to jail.
After an exhaustive search, Berserko
was officially declared missing.
Oh, why not wait for the cake!
No, Berserko, we saved
a big face just for you!
C.O.P.S file, 98004.
The case of Berserko's big surprise.
Case closed.