C.O.P.S. (1988–1989): Season 1, Episode 3 - The Case of the Baffling Bugman - full transcript
Using a swarm of specially trained insects, the eccentric Bugman conducts a series of robberies on behalf of the Big Boss.
Cops, central organization
of police specialists.
Fighting crime in a future time.
Protecting Empire City from
Big Boss and his gang of crooks.
It's crime fighting time.
The case of the baffling bugman.
Cops file, 191817.
They were the most amazing gang of
Jewel thieves cops had ever encountered.
Their inhuman methods
even baffled Nightshade,
the city's most
notorious safe cracker.
Here's how caper pinned down.
The Big Boss said I'd be dealing
with a sophisticated alarm system.
The Big Boss was right.
Piece of cake.
The jewels, they're gone.
Some crook beat me to the punch.
But why leave this weird card?
Nightshade, are you
telling me the safe was
cleaned out and all
you found was this card?
Right Big Boss.
Whoever stole those jewels is good.
Real good.
Oh, good enough to replace
the incomparable Nightshade?
Hmm?
Well, I wouldn't say that.
Oh, hey, oh.
How did you get in here?
People call me the bugman.
And I got in with a little
help from my friends.
Ewe.
Hey, what?
That's one of the silver diamonds.
Then you must be the one
who robbed the jewelry store.
Well, uh, not me.
Uh, us.
You mean those disgusting
filthy vermin took the jewels?
Please Big Boss, call them bugs.
I feel their pride you know.
Oh, right. Those disgusting
filthy bugs stole the jewels?!
Well, I might be able to use
someone with your talent.
Amazing.
Can you start tonight?
I, I, I guess we can.
Excellent.
I've got plans for you, bugman.
Big, big plans.
Whoever robbed this jewelry store
last night sure knew what he was doing.
Just like the robbery the
night before. And still no clues.
I think Blitz found something, sir.
It's a bug. And it's dragging
a one-carat diamond.
Blitz might be barking
up the wrong tree, Bowser.
But it's certainly worth investigating.
Insect traps.
Do you really think this bug had
something to do with this robbery?
I know it's hard to believe,
but Blitz thinks so and so do I.
The way I see it, this bug got
trapped while it was pulling off the heist.
If we set it free, maybe
it'll lead us to the culprit.
Stranger things have happened.
First thing we've got
to do is bug the bug.
Oh, my.
Big Boss.
Big Boss.
- You're late.
Oh, sorry.
But I think you've lost
one of my bug bandits.
That's no excuse.
Give me the jewels.
Ha, ha, yes.
Excellent. You pulled it off.
Ha, ha ha, ha, ha, ha ha,
Pay the bug man, McBombomb.
Oh, no. Oh, no.
No. No. Oh, please.
Six. Eight. What?
It's not enough.
I've got 6,000 miles to feed.
And I'm losing my favorite bug.
Don't bug me, little
man. You've been paid.
Now, I'll be in touch with a new caper
for you and your vermin tomorrow.
I... I don't think so.
I don't think I like you
anymore, Big Boss.
And my bugs won't pull
another heist for you ever again.
I've had it with being a crook.
Oh, McBombomb.
I'm going back into showbiz.
Let's play along with this
insignificant worm, for now.
I was wrong to offer my services
to someone as dishonest as you.
No one walks out on me.
No one!
Anybody can control those
disgusting little creatures.
It's just a matter of figuring out
how to work his remote controller.
McBombomb, I'd like you to
pay our creepy little friend a visit.
(laughing)
Mainframe, you're a genius.
That micro transmitter looks
exactly like the diamond.
If the bug takes the bait,
we'll follow in the jet cockpit.
Well, here goes.
Wrong little critter.
Let's go before that rat
makes a monkey out of us.
That little guy's
faster than I thought.
I can't believe it. We
have an $8 million aircraft
and we can't even
track two trained fleas.
You said this bug would lead
us straight to the crook's hideout.
So? He's taking the scenic route.
And it's picture perfect.
Hold on, I found him.
He can't get away that easy.
I never even got a chance to say goodbye.
You may be gone, Gaylord,
but you're not forgotten.
First, we'll move to a nice neighborhood
and then we'll get our own TV show.
In no time. We'll be on easy street.
Boy, I don't know what I'd
do if I lost another one of you.
How touching.
Oh, how did you find me?
No one can hide from the big boss.
Least of all a bug boy like you.
Stay away. I'm warning you, my
bugs are trained as attack guards.
That's okay. I'm a black belt bug swatter.
All I want are those clever little
vermin and the clicker that controls them.
Okay. Oh, that's not right. Oh, my.
Oh, I'm so nervous.
Whoa!
Whoa!
Snug as a bug in a rug.
Now that I got this little gizmo,
you've suddenly become unnecessary.
You'll never get away with this.
Come back with my
bugs. You, you bug-bandit.
So long, small fly.
Scratch one, free circus.
Help me.
Help me.
Somebody help me.
[muffled talking]
Seems like we've been
tailing this bug forever.
Doesn't he ever get tired?
It looks like he's making
a feline for that free circus.
Oh, no. The transmitter stopped.
Now we'll never find that bug.
Never jump to conclusions, mainframe.
Blitz seems to have a beat on him.
Cops, official business.
Good boy, Blitz.
Watch out, man.
[buzz sound]
Bowser, someone's in trouble.
Gaylord?
Gaylord. Oh, I
thought I'd lost you.
[crying]
Oh, I never wanted to be a criminal.
But when the customers stopped
coming to see my flea circus,
well, I didn't know what to do.
Stealing jewels is not the answer.
I wish I'd never done it.
If I could only get my
hands on the big boss.
The big boss? What's
he got to do with all this?
He stole my bugs.
We've got to stop the big boss before
he robs every jewelry store in the city.
If you help me get my bugs back,
I'll take you to the crook's hideout.
Let's do it.
Hope your jet copter can
keep up with my plane.
It's got two million
hornets under the hood.
Don't worry. I think
our copter can handle it.
There's supposed to be enough
diamonds in the jewelry exchange
to fill up the big
boss's bathtub.
I just hope the bug man worked
all the bugs out of his control device.
Enough already. Crime's a-wasting.
(Machinery whirring).
Are you sure this is a hideout?
Do bees have stingers?
I'll call our location in the
headquarters. We'll be needing backup.
Be careful. I don't want to do anything
that will endanger my little friends.
10-32, officers request backup.
Repeat, officers request
backup. Waterfront District.
Sounds like Mainframe and
Bowser could use some help.
Maybe that six-legged clue
of his panned out after all.
It's crime-fighting time!
This place is deserted. I hope
we're not on some wild bug chase.
Oh, they've got to be here.
Ah, oh!
Sorry, I doubted you, bug man,
but this whole investigation
was starting to drive me...
Don't tell us.
Fuzzy, right?
How'd you guess?
What do you think, Buttons?
We may have enough
loot here to go into
business for ourselves.
Oh, how I love the feel of
gemstones after a hard day's work.
(Groans).
We may not need the
boss anymore after today.
Hard to believe a handful of creepy
crawlers could pull off a heist like this.
They're not creepy
crawlers. They're my friends.
And you better...
give 'em... back.
What's happened
to my little friends?
The big boss has got
plans for these little pests.
It reminds me, we haven't
worked out our plans
for tonight's robbery at
the Diamond Emporium.
So what are we waiting for?
We're going to need a
diversion in order to get free.
No problem.
What are you talking about?
Gaylord, my most
talented insect.
Gaylord, see if you
can whip up a diversion.
I suppose, uh, Gaylord here is gonna just
waltz out of here, free the other bugs,
open this cage and create a diversion so
we can catch McBoomBoom and Nightshade.
Why, uh, yes. Precisely.
I think the best plan of
attack is to work from the roof.
Wait, that's not the roof.
That's the basement.
You're looking at it
upside down, nitwit.
You're right about the roof. We let
the bugs down the ventilation shaft.
It's been a long time.
Gaylord will come through.
Just you wait and see.
Let me see. Take a move
here, make a move here.
A little over there
too. It could work.
(Nightshade screams)
I've gotta hand it to the bug man.
He sure got those insects trained.
(Screams)
Get away, you... you...
- How'd you get loose?
(Screams)
Take that, you Guinea two-timing crawlers.
(machine gun sounds)
(Groans)
(Groans)
Come on, McBoomBoom.
Let's cut this paper short.
Freeze, cops.
You're under arrest.
Call off the troops, Gaylord.
More cops.
Where's the bug man?
Are you thinking
what I'm thinking?
Oh, I hate to disappoint those cops,
but this is the last heist. I promise.
And I thought you went straight.
(Claps and laughs)
All of the jewels were recovered
and returned to their rightful owners.
Nightshade, the bugman, and Buttons
McBoomBoom were sentenced to jail.
Cops file 19817, the case of
"The baffling bugman". Case closed.
Maybe, maybe not.
Cops, Roll-Call,
Highway, Mainframe,
Long-Arm, Bowser
and Blitz, Sundown,
Hardtop, Mirage, Bullseye
Mace, Barricade, and
they call me Bulletproof.
These are Empire City's most wanted crooks.
Berserko, Rock-Crusher,
Misdemeanor,
Turbo Two-Tone,
Dr. Bad Vibes, Nightshade,
use caution
and apprehending.
of police specialists.
Fighting crime in a future time.
Protecting Empire City from
Big Boss and his gang of crooks.
It's crime fighting time.
The case of the baffling bugman.
Cops file, 191817.
They were the most amazing gang of
Jewel thieves cops had ever encountered.
Their inhuman methods
even baffled Nightshade,
the city's most
notorious safe cracker.
Here's how caper pinned down.
The Big Boss said I'd be dealing
with a sophisticated alarm system.
The Big Boss was right.
Piece of cake.
The jewels, they're gone.
Some crook beat me to the punch.
But why leave this weird card?
Nightshade, are you
telling me the safe was
cleaned out and all
you found was this card?
Right Big Boss.
Whoever stole those jewels is good.
Real good.
Oh, good enough to replace
the incomparable Nightshade?
Hmm?
Well, I wouldn't say that.
Oh, hey, oh.
How did you get in here?
People call me the bugman.
And I got in with a little
help from my friends.
Ewe.
Hey, what?
That's one of the silver diamonds.
Then you must be the one
who robbed the jewelry store.
Well, uh, not me.
Uh, us.
You mean those disgusting
filthy vermin took the jewels?
Please Big Boss, call them bugs.
I feel their pride you know.
Oh, right. Those disgusting
filthy bugs stole the jewels?!
Well, I might be able to use
someone with your talent.
Amazing.
Can you start tonight?
I, I, I guess we can.
Excellent.
I've got plans for you, bugman.
Big, big plans.
Whoever robbed this jewelry store
last night sure knew what he was doing.
Just like the robbery the
night before. And still no clues.
I think Blitz found something, sir.
It's a bug. And it's dragging
a one-carat diamond.
Blitz might be barking
up the wrong tree, Bowser.
But it's certainly worth investigating.
Insect traps.
Do you really think this bug had
something to do with this robbery?
I know it's hard to believe,
but Blitz thinks so and so do I.
The way I see it, this bug got
trapped while it was pulling off the heist.
If we set it free, maybe
it'll lead us to the culprit.
Stranger things have happened.
First thing we've got
to do is bug the bug.
Oh, my.
Big Boss.
Big Boss.
- You're late.
Oh, sorry.
But I think you've lost
one of my bug bandits.
That's no excuse.
Give me the jewels.
Ha, ha, yes.
Excellent. You pulled it off.
Ha, ha ha, ha, ha, ha ha,
Pay the bug man, McBombomb.
Oh, no. Oh, no.
No. No. Oh, please.
Six. Eight. What?
It's not enough.
I've got 6,000 miles to feed.
And I'm losing my favorite bug.
Don't bug me, little
man. You've been paid.
Now, I'll be in touch with a new caper
for you and your vermin tomorrow.
I... I don't think so.
I don't think I like you
anymore, Big Boss.
And my bugs won't pull
another heist for you ever again.
I've had it with being a crook.
Oh, McBombomb.
I'm going back into showbiz.
Let's play along with this
insignificant worm, for now.
I was wrong to offer my services
to someone as dishonest as you.
No one walks out on me.
No one!
Anybody can control those
disgusting little creatures.
It's just a matter of figuring out
how to work his remote controller.
McBombomb, I'd like you to
pay our creepy little friend a visit.
(laughing)
Mainframe, you're a genius.
That micro transmitter looks
exactly like the diamond.
If the bug takes the bait,
we'll follow in the jet cockpit.
Well, here goes.
Wrong little critter.
Let's go before that rat
makes a monkey out of us.
That little guy's
faster than I thought.
I can't believe it. We
have an $8 million aircraft
and we can't even
track two trained fleas.
You said this bug would lead
us straight to the crook's hideout.
So? He's taking the scenic route.
And it's picture perfect.
Hold on, I found him.
He can't get away that easy.
I never even got a chance to say goodbye.
You may be gone, Gaylord,
but you're not forgotten.
First, we'll move to a nice neighborhood
and then we'll get our own TV show.
In no time. We'll be on easy street.
Boy, I don't know what I'd
do if I lost another one of you.
How touching.
Oh, how did you find me?
No one can hide from the big boss.
Least of all a bug boy like you.
Stay away. I'm warning you, my
bugs are trained as attack guards.
That's okay. I'm a black belt bug swatter.
All I want are those clever little
vermin and the clicker that controls them.
Okay. Oh, that's not right. Oh, my.
Oh, I'm so nervous.
Whoa!
Whoa!
Snug as a bug in a rug.
Now that I got this little gizmo,
you've suddenly become unnecessary.
You'll never get away with this.
Come back with my
bugs. You, you bug-bandit.
So long, small fly.
Scratch one, free circus.
Help me.
Help me.
Somebody help me.
[muffled talking]
Seems like we've been
tailing this bug forever.
Doesn't he ever get tired?
It looks like he's making
a feline for that free circus.
Oh, no. The transmitter stopped.
Now we'll never find that bug.
Never jump to conclusions, mainframe.
Blitz seems to have a beat on him.
Cops, official business.
Good boy, Blitz.
Watch out, man.
[buzz sound]
Bowser, someone's in trouble.
Gaylord?
Gaylord. Oh, I
thought I'd lost you.
[crying]
Oh, I never wanted to be a criminal.
But when the customers stopped
coming to see my flea circus,
well, I didn't know what to do.
Stealing jewels is not the answer.
I wish I'd never done it.
If I could only get my
hands on the big boss.
The big boss? What's
he got to do with all this?
He stole my bugs.
We've got to stop the big boss before
he robs every jewelry store in the city.
If you help me get my bugs back,
I'll take you to the crook's hideout.
Let's do it.
Hope your jet copter can
keep up with my plane.
It's got two million
hornets under the hood.
Don't worry. I think
our copter can handle it.
There's supposed to be enough
diamonds in the jewelry exchange
to fill up the big
boss's bathtub.
I just hope the bug man worked
all the bugs out of his control device.
Enough already. Crime's a-wasting.
(Machinery whirring).
Are you sure this is a hideout?
Do bees have stingers?
I'll call our location in the
headquarters. We'll be needing backup.
Be careful. I don't want to do anything
that will endanger my little friends.
10-32, officers request backup.
Repeat, officers request
backup. Waterfront District.
Sounds like Mainframe and
Bowser could use some help.
Maybe that six-legged clue
of his panned out after all.
It's crime-fighting time!
This place is deserted. I hope
we're not on some wild bug chase.
Oh, they've got to be here.
Ah, oh!
Sorry, I doubted you, bug man,
but this whole investigation
was starting to drive me...
Don't tell us.
Fuzzy, right?
How'd you guess?
What do you think, Buttons?
We may have enough
loot here to go into
business for ourselves.
Oh, how I love the feel of
gemstones after a hard day's work.
(Groans).
We may not need the
boss anymore after today.
Hard to believe a handful of creepy
crawlers could pull off a heist like this.
They're not creepy
crawlers. They're my friends.
And you better...
give 'em... back.
What's happened
to my little friends?
The big boss has got
plans for these little pests.
It reminds me, we haven't
worked out our plans
for tonight's robbery at
the Diamond Emporium.
So what are we waiting for?
We're going to need a
diversion in order to get free.
No problem.
What are you talking about?
Gaylord, my most
talented insect.
Gaylord, see if you
can whip up a diversion.
I suppose, uh, Gaylord here is gonna just
waltz out of here, free the other bugs,
open this cage and create a diversion so
we can catch McBoomBoom and Nightshade.
Why, uh, yes. Precisely.
I think the best plan of
attack is to work from the roof.
Wait, that's not the roof.
That's the basement.
You're looking at it
upside down, nitwit.
You're right about the roof. We let
the bugs down the ventilation shaft.
It's been a long time.
Gaylord will come through.
Just you wait and see.
Let me see. Take a move
here, make a move here.
A little over there
too. It could work.
(Nightshade screams)
I've gotta hand it to the bug man.
He sure got those insects trained.
(Screams)
Get away, you... you...
- How'd you get loose?
(Screams)
Take that, you Guinea two-timing crawlers.
(machine gun sounds)
(Groans)
(Groans)
Come on, McBoomBoom.
Let's cut this paper short.
Freeze, cops.
You're under arrest.
Call off the troops, Gaylord.
More cops.
Where's the bug man?
Are you thinking
what I'm thinking?
Oh, I hate to disappoint those cops,
but this is the last heist. I promise.
And I thought you went straight.
(Claps and laughs)
All of the jewels were recovered
and returned to their rightful owners.
Nightshade, the bugman, and Buttons
McBoomBoom were sentenced to jail.
Cops file 19817, the case of
"The baffling bugman". Case closed.
Maybe, maybe not.
Cops, Roll-Call,
Highway, Mainframe,
Long-Arm, Bowser
and Blitz, Sundown,
Hardtop, Mirage, Bullseye
Mace, Barricade, and
they call me Bulletproof.
These are Empire City's most wanted crooks.
Berserko, Rock-Crusher,
Misdemeanor,
Turbo Two-Tone,
Dr. Bad Vibes, Nightshade,
use caution
and apprehending.