C.O.P.S. (1988–1989): Season 1, Episode 10 - The Case of the Blur Bandits - full transcript
The Big Boss's henchmen use Dr. Badvibes's speed-suits in order to commit robberies.
C.O.P.S
Central Organization of Police Specialists
Fighting crime in a future time.
Protecting Empire City from
Big Boss and his gang of crooks.
It's crime fighting time.
The case
of the Blur-bandits.
C.O.P.S case file, 16010.
The Big Boss' gang
became un-catchable
when they wore Dr. Bad
Vibe's speed suits.
Ordinary could trance so fast,
all the human eye
could detect... was a blur.
Here's how the caper came down.
What's taking Berserko
so along Bad Vibes?
I don't know. I told him just to
take a quick run around the block.
Wait! Here he comes now.
Hiya, Uncle Big Boss!
Oh, look at my suit!
Look at my speed suit!
You pushed it too hard.
You almost burnt it out!
Oh, relax. It worked.
Well, those cops will
never catch us now.
Bad Vibes, you're a genius!
How about a bigger
piece of the action?
Ah, you're not that smart.
[Turbo grunting]
What's with this suit, Doc?
I ain't going nowhere.
You idiot! It belongs to
Ms. Demina. That's why.
How many times
do I have to tell you?
My speed suits
are tailor-made to fit.
Darn! We're late for the
dog show story, Beemer.
Hey! That's Highway
from the cops.
Scratch the dog show, Beemer.
We're doing a
celebrity profile today.
Oh, man! A loose booster belt.
Hope nobody spots me.
This could be a
real blow to my ego.
Oh, good to see you
again, Highlander.
Roll the film, Beemer.
Whitney Morgan here with an
exclusive portrait of a crime fighter.
I'm with Officer Highway
of our elite cops team.
How were you lucky enough
to get on the C.O.P.S team?
[Clearing throat]
It wasn't luck, Ms.
Morgan. It was skill.
Skill and confidence.
And yes, a dash of bravery.
Allow me to elaborate
on this for a minute.
Oh, man! What a ham!
I should have stuck
with the dog show story.
Remember, the speed
suits are plenty fast.
If you push them too hard, you'll
ruin the motors and the fabric.
Okay, this is it.
Power up!
And no stop for snacks, Berserko!
Oh, come on! I'm hungry!
You need more brains!
You go first, Turbo.
Huh?
I'm here to make a withdrawal.
Like all of it.
Hey!
Here, let me count it for you.
One, two, three, four, five,
six, seven, eight, nine, ten.
One hundred twenty-two
thousand bucks. Thanks!
Man, I dig the
express service here.
You the guard here?
Know what happened?
The back's been robbed, dummy!
So now you push the
alarm like this. Ha, ha, ha, ha.
And finally, speed, Ms. Morgan.
That's why I'm
code-named Highway.
I'm the quickest cop.
The king of speed.
What was that?
Uh-oh, that was a cop!
Big deal! I'd like to see
him try and catch us!
Attention all units, Empire
Bank has just been robbed!
Sorry, Whitney, I gotta fly.
Suspects are heading south
on the Tier 35 expressway.
All units in the
vicinity, intercept!
[Sirens]
I hope he got all
that on tape, Beemer.
Let's go get the rest.
Highway here. I've spotted robbery
suspects on Tier 35 expressway.
I'm in pursuit.
That cop's after us.
They're going real fast.
Hope that booster belt holds up.
I'm gonna have some fun!
Chasing someone?
Berserko!
Let's play tag!
Tag, you're it!
Hey! My stitches!
Help, guys!
Berserko's in trouble.
All right, Berserko,
your racing days are over.
Thanks, pals!
Shut up, you jerk!
Start rolling! Here
they come, get it!
You ready?
Watch out!
Are you all right, Highway?
No, I'm not all right.
Gee, Beemer, we got some story.
I did it! I've created
the perfect crook!
You guys are un-catchable!
Not if Berserko keeps
waltzing with cops, we won't be.
Look!
- You dunderheads!
Those speed suits are delicate.
They're made of the finest
Dacron and polyester mix.
Relax, Doc. Sorry
I even mentioned it.
Besides, Highway's
the only cop who's fast.
Then maybe we should see to it that
Highway slows down. Hi, he, he ,ha ha.
And in the end, even Highway's
renowned skill and confidence
were no match for the
fleet-footed Blur-bandits.
This is Whitney
Morgan reporting.
Stop the tape. Go back.
Following a daring hold-up by a
gang of fleet-footed Blur-bandits
who stuck up Empire
City's National Bank...
Now, slow motion.
Highway was right. They're
wearing some kind of mechanical suit.
That's what's speeding them up.
Bulletproof, I've been
doing some thinking.
I'm leaving the department. I just
want to give you this and be gone.
I can't accept your
resignation, Highway.
Don't try to talk me
out of it, Bulletproof.
Please, Highway, take a
few days off. You'll get over it.
No. I've made a
fool of myself today.
Made fools of the cops.
I've embarrassed the
department with my big mouth.
Goodbye, sir.
Hey, buddy, can I interest
you in a hot new product?
No thanks, pal.
Give it a chance.
Every cop can use it.
Hey, how'd you know?
It's called Blackjack in a can.
Hey!
It's a real knockout.
You shouldn't have
tore my suit, copper.
You made the doctor mad.
Good evening. I'm Whitney Morgan.
The Blur-bandits, those
high-speed criminals that got
away with over a million dollars
in today's heist, are still at large.
In related news, reliable sources confirm
a resignation within the cops' ranks.
What? You quit, copper?
No wonder your buddies
ain't looking for you.
I gotta hand it to bad vibes.
These speed suits are
really the cat's pajamas.
I just did a gasket job and
oil and filter on this baby
in 30 seconds flat.
If I could just get
this pipe loose.
Hey, doc, where'd
you get all the threads?
I made them, you nitwits.
We're going to have an army of
the world's quickest crooks soon.
There. Good as new.
You're all ready for this
afternoon's big crime spree.
This afternoon? Good!
I've got time to get
a quick bite to eat.
No! The others will
be here any minute.
I've called highway department
three times today sundown,
but he just doesn't answer.
I wouldn't worry about a thing.
Man just needs some
time to cool down.
He really picked the
wrong time to cool down.
He's probably the best equipped
cop to deal with this Blur-bandit threat.
Just a little jog to
work up an appetite.
As you were saying?
All units, a Blur-bandit just passed
by my position. I'm in pursuit.
The usual, pal.
20 chili dogs to go.
Light up a mustard.
Huh?
- I think I roped me a prize.
You got that emergency
brake on, darling?
You roped the wrong
horsey, cowboy.
Whoa! Whoa!
Whoa! Whoa!
Whoa! Whoa!
Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!
[SCREAMS]
Whoa!
Hardtop here. The Blur-bandit’s
going south on Thunder Road.
I'm in pursuit.
Give it up, 'cause here it goes.
Getting tired, cowboy?
Maybe it's time for a...
...fiesta!
Stupid copper, I can
do things you can't do.
I've got you now.
That pier's not
gonna last forever.
I can't swim!
I needed my feet wet!
Hardtop here. lost him,
they run on water, too.
Hey, you!
Huh?
Now that you've
had your exercise...
. ...have a seat!
Hmm. Ball bearings.
This could be interesting.
I don't like jumping
Jacks, copper.
Then try jogging in place.
Ugh, whoa!
Whoa!
(screams)
Try some of this, turbo.
No!
I did. It worked for me.
Ooh, my doggies are sore.
That was one mean bronco.
I could have had 'em.
You might have had a
chance on water skis.
Maybe you'll have a
better chance with this.
Highway!
- You're back! - Alright.
A speed suit! I knew you
wouldn't give up on us.
You're wrong, mainframe.
I haven't changed my mind.
It's just that these bozos thought
they could get me out of the picture.
They just didn't
realize I already was.
There's no time to lose.
Sundown. Put on the speed suit.
Right, sir.
I'm really sorry that your
reputation got bruised today.
But you don't have to
be the best at everything.
Hoo-wee.
This thing's plumb too small.
I'm sorry, but we're
grown big down in Texas.
Hard top?
Yes, big boss. They're all here.
Except turbo. He's late.
Well, go on without
him and ransack the city.
I want no more delays.
You got that, bad vibes?
Everyone into the truck.
We go without turbo.
Now remember, don't
push the suits too hard.
If anything goes wrong, come
back to the Van immediately.
Blur-bandit!
Reports of robberies keep
coming in. Hundreds of them.
Well, hardtop?
( laughing )
Ha-ha. No such luck, coppers.
You can't get that suit to work.
It was tailor-made to fit me.
(laughing)
Remember, highway,
sometimes it's okay just
to be part of the team.
(laughing)
Oh, yeah? Looks to me
like you're about my size.
Maybe I'll fit.
I guess it's time to
bust some blur-bandits.
Hold on.
You'll need this.
Thank you.
I almost forgot.
It's crime-fighting time.
Yeah, they look great
on you, Nightshade.
Were they on
five-finger discounts?
( laughing ).
Fashion show's over, Nightshade.
You're under arrest.
You won't get me, cop.
So long.
Remember to put some change
in the meter, misdemeanor.
You're under arrest, Berserko.
You gotta catch me first.
Wow, he's pretty fast.
I better get back to the Van.
Oh, wow.
I wonder what's
taking them so long.
What?
Hey, you're under arrest.
Uh-oh.
Dr. Bad Vibes?
- Yeah?
I'm a cop, and
you're under arrest.
Whitney Morgan
here for Action News.
That was quite some
turnaround, Officer Highway.
How'd you do it? Skill, speed?
They helped me do
it. I'm part of a team.
Officer Highway learned a
valuable lesson in humility.
He was reinstated
into the cops' unit.
Berserko, Misdemeanor, Turbo,
Bad Vibes, and the rest were tried,
found guilty, and sentenced to a
remedial license plate stamping course
in the Empire State Prison.
Cops file 16010,
the case of "the Blur-bandits."
Case closed.
Central Organization of Police Specialists
Fighting crime in a future time.
Protecting Empire City from
Big Boss and his gang of crooks.
It's crime fighting time.
The case
of the Blur-bandits.
C.O.P.S case file, 16010.
The Big Boss' gang
became un-catchable
when they wore Dr. Bad
Vibe's speed suits.
Ordinary could trance so fast,
all the human eye
could detect... was a blur.
Here's how the caper came down.
What's taking Berserko
so along Bad Vibes?
I don't know. I told him just to
take a quick run around the block.
Wait! Here he comes now.
Hiya, Uncle Big Boss!
Oh, look at my suit!
Look at my speed suit!
You pushed it too hard.
You almost burnt it out!
Oh, relax. It worked.
Well, those cops will
never catch us now.
Bad Vibes, you're a genius!
How about a bigger
piece of the action?
Ah, you're not that smart.
[Turbo grunting]
What's with this suit, Doc?
I ain't going nowhere.
You idiot! It belongs to
Ms. Demina. That's why.
How many times
do I have to tell you?
My speed suits
are tailor-made to fit.
Darn! We're late for the
dog show story, Beemer.
Hey! That's Highway
from the cops.
Scratch the dog show, Beemer.
We're doing a
celebrity profile today.
Oh, man! A loose booster belt.
Hope nobody spots me.
This could be a
real blow to my ego.
Oh, good to see you
again, Highlander.
Roll the film, Beemer.
Whitney Morgan here with an
exclusive portrait of a crime fighter.
I'm with Officer Highway
of our elite cops team.
How were you lucky enough
to get on the C.O.P.S team?
[Clearing throat]
It wasn't luck, Ms.
Morgan. It was skill.
Skill and confidence.
And yes, a dash of bravery.
Allow me to elaborate
on this for a minute.
Oh, man! What a ham!
I should have stuck
with the dog show story.
Remember, the speed
suits are plenty fast.
If you push them too hard, you'll
ruin the motors and the fabric.
Okay, this is it.
Power up!
And no stop for snacks, Berserko!
Oh, come on! I'm hungry!
You need more brains!
You go first, Turbo.
Huh?
I'm here to make a withdrawal.
Like all of it.
Hey!
Here, let me count it for you.
One, two, three, four, five,
six, seven, eight, nine, ten.
One hundred twenty-two
thousand bucks. Thanks!
Man, I dig the
express service here.
You the guard here?
Know what happened?
The back's been robbed, dummy!
So now you push the
alarm like this. Ha, ha, ha, ha.
And finally, speed, Ms. Morgan.
That's why I'm
code-named Highway.
I'm the quickest cop.
The king of speed.
What was that?
Uh-oh, that was a cop!
Big deal! I'd like to see
him try and catch us!
Attention all units, Empire
Bank has just been robbed!
Sorry, Whitney, I gotta fly.
Suspects are heading south
on the Tier 35 expressway.
All units in the
vicinity, intercept!
[Sirens]
I hope he got all
that on tape, Beemer.
Let's go get the rest.
Highway here. I've spotted robbery
suspects on Tier 35 expressway.
I'm in pursuit.
That cop's after us.
They're going real fast.
Hope that booster belt holds up.
I'm gonna have some fun!
Chasing someone?
Berserko!
Let's play tag!
Tag, you're it!
Hey! My stitches!
Help, guys!
Berserko's in trouble.
All right, Berserko,
your racing days are over.
Thanks, pals!
Shut up, you jerk!
Start rolling! Here
they come, get it!
You ready?
Watch out!
Are you all right, Highway?
No, I'm not all right.
Gee, Beemer, we got some story.
I did it! I've created
the perfect crook!
You guys are un-catchable!
Not if Berserko keeps
waltzing with cops, we won't be.
Look!
- You dunderheads!
Those speed suits are delicate.
They're made of the finest
Dacron and polyester mix.
Relax, Doc. Sorry
I even mentioned it.
Besides, Highway's
the only cop who's fast.
Then maybe we should see to it that
Highway slows down. Hi, he, he ,ha ha.
And in the end, even Highway's
renowned skill and confidence
were no match for the
fleet-footed Blur-bandits.
This is Whitney
Morgan reporting.
Stop the tape. Go back.
Following a daring hold-up by a
gang of fleet-footed Blur-bandits
who stuck up Empire
City's National Bank...
Now, slow motion.
Highway was right. They're
wearing some kind of mechanical suit.
That's what's speeding them up.
Bulletproof, I've been
doing some thinking.
I'm leaving the department. I just
want to give you this and be gone.
I can't accept your
resignation, Highway.
Don't try to talk me
out of it, Bulletproof.
Please, Highway, take a
few days off. You'll get over it.
No. I've made a
fool of myself today.
Made fools of the cops.
I've embarrassed the
department with my big mouth.
Goodbye, sir.
Hey, buddy, can I interest
you in a hot new product?
No thanks, pal.
Give it a chance.
Every cop can use it.
Hey, how'd you know?
It's called Blackjack in a can.
Hey!
It's a real knockout.
You shouldn't have
tore my suit, copper.
You made the doctor mad.
Good evening. I'm Whitney Morgan.
The Blur-bandits, those
high-speed criminals that got
away with over a million dollars
in today's heist, are still at large.
In related news, reliable sources confirm
a resignation within the cops' ranks.
What? You quit, copper?
No wonder your buddies
ain't looking for you.
I gotta hand it to bad vibes.
These speed suits are
really the cat's pajamas.
I just did a gasket job and
oil and filter on this baby
in 30 seconds flat.
If I could just get
this pipe loose.
Hey, doc, where'd
you get all the threads?
I made them, you nitwits.
We're going to have an army of
the world's quickest crooks soon.
There. Good as new.
You're all ready for this
afternoon's big crime spree.
This afternoon? Good!
I've got time to get
a quick bite to eat.
No! The others will
be here any minute.
I've called highway department
three times today sundown,
but he just doesn't answer.
I wouldn't worry about a thing.
Man just needs some
time to cool down.
He really picked the
wrong time to cool down.
He's probably the best equipped
cop to deal with this Blur-bandit threat.
Just a little jog to
work up an appetite.
As you were saying?
All units, a Blur-bandit just passed
by my position. I'm in pursuit.
The usual, pal.
20 chili dogs to go.
Light up a mustard.
Huh?
- I think I roped me a prize.
You got that emergency
brake on, darling?
You roped the wrong
horsey, cowboy.
Whoa! Whoa!
Whoa! Whoa!
Whoa! Whoa!
Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!
[SCREAMS]
Whoa!
Hardtop here. The Blur-bandit’s
going south on Thunder Road.
I'm in pursuit.
Give it up, 'cause here it goes.
Getting tired, cowboy?
Maybe it's time for a...
...fiesta!
Stupid copper, I can
do things you can't do.
I've got you now.
That pier's not
gonna last forever.
I can't swim!
I needed my feet wet!
Hardtop here. lost him,
they run on water, too.
Hey, you!
Huh?
Now that you've
had your exercise...
. ...have a seat!
Hmm. Ball bearings.
This could be interesting.
I don't like jumping
Jacks, copper.
Then try jogging in place.
Ugh, whoa!
Whoa!
(screams)
Try some of this, turbo.
No!
I did. It worked for me.
Ooh, my doggies are sore.
That was one mean bronco.
I could have had 'em.
You might have had a
chance on water skis.
Maybe you'll have a
better chance with this.
Highway!
- You're back! - Alright.
A speed suit! I knew you
wouldn't give up on us.
You're wrong, mainframe.
I haven't changed my mind.
It's just that these bozos thought
they could get me out of the picture.
They just didn't
realize I already was.
There's no time to lose.
Sundown. Put on the speed suit.
Right, sir.
I'm really sorry that your
reputation got bruised today.
But you don't have to
be the best at everything.
Hoo-wee.
This thing's plumb too small.
I'm sorry, but we're
grown big down in Texas.
Hard top?
Yes, big boss. They're all here.
Except turbo. He's late.
Well, go on without
him and ransack the city.
I want no more delays.
You got that, bad vibes?
Everyone into the truck.
We go without turbo.
Now remember, don't
push the suits too hard.
If anything goes wrong, come
back to the Van immediately.
Blur-bandit!
Reports of robberies keep
coming in. Hundreds of them.
Well, hardtop?
( laughing )
Ha-ha. No such luck, coppers.
You can't get that suit to work.
It was tailor-made to fit me.
(laughing)
Remember, highway,
sometimes it's okay just
to be part of the team.
(laughing)
Oh, yeah? Looks to me
like you're about my size.
Maybe I'll fit.
I guess it's time to
bust some blur-bandits.
Hold on.
You'll need this.
Thank you.
I almost forgot.
It's crime-fighting time.
Yeah, they look great
on you, Nightshade.
Were they on
five-finger discounts?
( laughing ).
Fashion show's over, Nightshade.
You're under arrest.
You won't get me, cop.
So long.
Remember to put some change
in the meter, misdemeanor.
You're under arrest, Berserko.
You gotta catch me first.
Wow, he's pretty fast.
I better get back to the Van.
Oh, wow.
I wonder what's
taking them so long.
What?
Hey, you're under arrest.
Uh-oh.
Dr. Bad Vibes?
- Yeah?
I'm a cop, and
you're under arrest.
Whitney Morgan
here for Action News.
That was quite some
turnaround, Officer Highway.
How'd you do it? Skill, speed?
They helped me do
it. I'm part of a team.
Officer Highway learned a
valuable lesson in humility.
He was reinstated
into the cops' unit.
Berserko, Misdemeanor, Turbo,
Bad Vibes, and the rest were tried,
found guilty, and sentenced to a
remedial license plate stamping course
in the Empire State Prison.
Cops file 16010,
the case of "the Blur-bandits."
Case closed.