CHiPs (1977–1983): Season 3, Episode 5 - Death Watch - full transcript
Well, Steve, another
three martini lunch?
Your estimate's
conservative.
Who's your date for Steve's
party, or do you have one?
Nope, but I eliminated
Janet and Carrie.
Oh, what a shame.
They're going to be heartbroken.
Yeah, which leaves Tina,
Delores and Victoria.
Only three?
Yeah, if you don't count Mary,
Marge, Marine, and Carline.
What's the matter
with you cops?
Can't you find somebody
doing somethingwrong?
Well, our highway patrol
has finally come alive.
About time.
Okay, old girl,
now which one of these dudes
you think has
the most insurance?
'The Seville?'
50 grand accident,
50 personal injury.
What do
you think, huh?
Mercedes?
I resent
the implication
because if I'm drunk,
the mayor's drunk
half the City Council's drunk
because that's where
I've been, gentlemen
to a very
important meeting.
We understand, ma'am.
Would you extend
your arms for me, please
'and try touching
your nose.'
Now, the arms out first.
Right hand,
then the left hand.
I'll do it,
but I won't like it.
Right hand...left hand.
- That's the way.
- Very good.
Will that be all,
gentlemen?
Uh, could you stand
on one foot for me, please
and tilt
your head back.
If you insist.
Yes.
Easy does it.
Easy. Easy.
Next, they'll be asking me
to walk a straight line.
Would you do
that for me, please?
Now, we go heel to toe,
like this.
I'd appreciate it.
I am trying my very best,
gentlemen, not to get angry.
Thank you.
It makes our job
a lot more pleasant.
Now, here we go,
heel to toe.
Wait until I tell
the mayor about this.
Shoes.
Wait a minute.
That's the one.
Imported and expensive.
And look at that
fat cat driving it, baby.
He don't know it yet,
but he's going to get us
into a bad accident.
And is his insurance carrier
gonna pay.
Ah, there.
Now, I ask you,
is that a straight line
or is that a straight line?
Well, yeah.
This ain't
your day, Dennis.
Code 33.
Down..
...H-Hensworth...overpass...
Foothill freeway.
'Attention all units,
Code 33.'
'Units vicinity of the Foothill
Freeway and Hensworth.'
'Officer down.'
'Units responding identify.'
Mary 3 and 4 responding
for Foothill knock down.
Alright,
folks, back up.
Come on, move out.
Go back to your cars.
Clear away
from him, please.
- Move back, sir.
- Get back, please.
Steve. Steve!
Hey, Ponch.
Help's coming.
Just stay still.
Bear?
Oh, no, he's out.
What happened, ma'am?
Please, ma'am, any help
you could give us.
A van!
It was a van!
A van. It just came
from nowhere.
Oh, my God.
Getraer's on his way.
Paramedics are right behind me.
Jon..
Relax, Steve.
It'll wait, alright?
Cheryl..
...you make the call.
Okay?
Here come
the paramedics.
Yeah, I'll call her,
Steve.
Some kind of a van.
Medium-sized, blue, no license
plate number, no nothing.
It all happened too quick.
Bird.
Bird.
Okay, Steve.
It'll wait. Alright?
Bird.
Now, just take it easy.
It'll wait, alright?
Keep still, Steve.
You're back early, Abel.
Yeah, Phil, I didn't
feel so good
so I thought
I'd bring her in.
You look a little pale.
I got one more week
on probation.
All I need is another
traffic accident, huh?
We still haven't fixed the truck
since your last wreck.
Yeah, I know, Phil.
That's funny, I didn't realize
it was that banged up.
Yeah, listen, Phil,
I'm sorry about that, I..
Let me tell you something.
I've been watching
you lately.
Maybe you're just a little too
careful these days, huh?
Hey, Phil...if you had
my insurance rating
you'd be careful too.
You know what I mean?
But I got almost everything
delivered. I promise.
Well, listen,
when a guy doesn't feel well
he ought to be home in bed with
a couple of aspirins. Go ahead.
I appreciate it, Phil.
I really do.
Uh, if you can't come in
tomorrow, call in.
No, no, Phil, listen,
I'm going to be perfect.
I'll see you first thing
tomorrow morning.
Any word?
No, they're still working
on both of them.
Almost an hour now.
Listen, can I get you
some coffee or anything?
Oh, no, I'm high-strung enough
as it is right now.
Sometimes, I think people like
us shouldn't get married at all.
No, you live with
a person you love
and you learn not to jump
every time the phone rings.
'The odds are with you.'
Yeah, sounds like Steve.
Steve didn't say it. I did.
When he didn't know
if he wanted to marry me or not.
I'm Dr. Rhoades.
- Sergeant..
- Uh, Getraer.
This is
Officer Wydemeyer's wife.
Mrs. Wydemeyer.
Both injured officers
suffered from
multiple bruises,
contusions.
There were broken bones and
internal hemorrhaging.
'Officer Baricza
is in stable condition.'
- 'He'll pull through.'
There was a hairline
fracture of the skull
which resulted in
a subdural hematoma.
We did everything
we could.
He's gone,
Mrs. Wydemeyer.
'I'm sorry.'
No...I'm alright.
Thank you.
- Sure.
Um, we'll have to put
Saturday's party off a while.
I didn't say that.
I didn't.
Hey, we understand.
Look, you guys sure
he said "bird?"
What?
Steve. Are you sure
he said "bird?"
Yeah, bird, I don't know.
It didn't make any sense.
Maybe he meant
"T-Bird."
No, Ponch, he was hit by a van.
Yeah, but it could have been one
of those license plates..
...uh, personalized jobs.
Okay, well, look,
I'll take it to DMV.
You guys better get going.
Going?
Yeah, finish your tour.
Yeah..
...neither, uh..
...neither rain, snow..
...nor death, right?
Jon.
Cut! Cut! Cut!
That was marvelous! Marvelous!
Get me down out of here.
You better have had your lens
cap off for that one, baby.
Okay, you guys, come on,
help me get him out of there.
Okay, alright.
Yeah, I'm fine.
- Fine, fine, fine.
Listen, how was the angle?
Did it come in low enough?
- Perfect. Just what I wanted.
Oh, it was beautiful.
Right in there.
Come on in the trailer,
I'll buy you a drink.
This one's mine.
You got it.
Step out
of the car, please.
Put your hands
where I can see them.
Thanks, but I'm comfortable
where I am.
Now, you want any help
out of that car
I'll be glad
to supply it.
Now, get out!
You step over here.
I thought the old
rubber hose routine
went out with bow ties
and white socks.
You're a scream, kid,
but two wisecracks is the limit.
Now, let me see
your driver's license.
You mean, you're not
going to frisk me, huh?
Pat me down for weapons?
Oh, darn. I'm disappointed.
On second thought--
Ah-ah-ah-ah.
Decisions, decisions.
My, oh, my.
Forgive me.
I've hurt your
partner's feelings.
May I see your
driver's license, please?
Of course.
I'm going to cite you for
excessive speed, Mr., uh..
Burham.
Burham, yeah,
that's right.
Unsafe lane change,
reckless driving.
Is this your present address?
You got them?
- Sheila..
- I don't know.
No, it's either
you got them or not.
You've collected from two
insurance companies already.
You know how many are listed
in the yellow pages?
What are you going to do?
Put a claim in on all of them?
Isn't Laura worth it?
Laura's been
dead 3 years now.
You didn't hear the sound
the tires made.
You didn't hear
what that..
..executive from Eastern
International Life Insurance
told me right there
at the lousy funeral.
"You didn't tell us,
Mr. Grace
"you made your living
driving stunt cars.
"Naturally, we can't
honor coverage
bought under
false pretenses."
Maybe if you told them upfront
you did stunt work, they'd--
I tried that.
I tried it with California
Meridian, National General
with Federal, with Western,
with all of them.
Sheila, you told me
you could get me licenses.
"No sweat," you said.
They're in my purse.
Don't tell me you got something
against getting rich
especially off some
fat cat corporation
that plays percentages
with your life.
If there was just
some other way, I..
You know something?
I could win every last one
of those accident cases
under a thousand
phony names
and it would just be a drop in
the bucket to them.
They wouldn't even blink.
They're probably insured.
We've had this gym in
for how long now?
Usually, you can
shoot ducks in here.
Got to keep busy, sarge.
Otherwise, we'll go crazy.
Yeah, I know
what you mean, um..
About that idea you had
on the license plate..
Bird.
Yeah, well, there are
about 50 of them..
...Bird, Birdie,
Bird-1, Bird-2
so far, none on a van.
They'll ask Baricza about it
when they interview him
won't they?
Well, doctors don't know
when that'll be..
...or if it'll be.
Look, uh, Steve's wife would
like you guys to be pallbearers.
So would I.
Sure.
It's the whole formal
ceremony, gentlemen.
The commissioner will be there,
honor guard, motorcycle escort..
...you'll be involved
in that too, of course.
It's a stupid way
to lose a man.
Stupid, stupid way!
'Attention,
Glendale Freeway Unit.'
'At the Dichter off ramp,
citizens report'
'of a vehicle over the side.'
That's for us.
Mary 3 and 4 responding.
I didn't cut him off.
I didn't know the guy
was in that lane.
He came out of nowhere.
I had my signals on, I swear.
Alright, alright, just stay put.
I'll get your story, alright?
Hey, easy, easy.
You don't want to make it any
worse, internal injuries.
I'm okay.
Look what that road hog
did to my car.
Cut me off like that.
What are you blind?
I-I didn't see you, man.
"Didn't see you?"
All those people saw me.
Sure, he's driving a big,
fancy sports car.
'Right away he thinks
he owns the whole road.'
'Look, I'm insured.
You're not hurt.'
How do you know
I'm not hurt?
Tell me,
you're a doctor, right?
Alright, alright,
that's enough.
But wait a minute. Now, maybe
this guy can afford
six or seven of old heaps
like mine, but I can't.
Aah!
You better call
an ambulance.
You want to pull your car
over to the shoulder?
Just sit down over here.
Come on.
Getraer's been trying to
get you on the horn.
That's right,
it's almost 11:00.
I'm supposed to meet him
at the funeral parlor.
- Listen, can you, uh..
- Get going. Go on.
Thanks a lot.
Hey, look, Ponch.
It's an emblem.
An emblem on
the side of a van.
That's what he was talking
about, an emblem.
Well, we got something
to ask Baricza about
when they interview
him again.
Yeah, when.
Alright, here's an ad
for house of pets.
Has a bird emblem,
see?
Yeah, but
that's a parrot.
Steve would have said parrot.
I don't think it's a pet shop.
What other kinds of businesses
have bird emblems on their vans?
Diaper service?
What about a stork?
Okay, you know, this is
going to take forever.
Do you know how many
bird emblems
they've got
in this book alone?
Yeah, almost a hundred.
We have a list from
the advertising council.
I plan to have Baricza
look it over.
Hey, how's Bear doing?
Well enough to go through
a preliminary debriefing
which confirmed your hunch.
Steve meant a logo
on the van that hit him.
Any idea when Bear will
be up and around?
Well, if I know Baricza,
it won't be long.
They're waiting for us.
Ah, gentlemen.
There'll be three of you
on either side of the coffin
in the following order.
I think, uh, you,
you, and you.
'Then, on the other side'
'you'll be on...over there.'
'And then you, possibly..'
- Frank.
- Look.
Hey, Bear.
What do you say, Bear?
Jon, how you doing?
Hi, Ponch.
If they hadn't have let me come,
I would have walked out anyway.
Well, we never
doubted it...ever.
I want to be in
the procession, sarge.
Well, uh...
It would be
most appropriate I think.
So do I.
Not many more left.
Easy, Poncherello,
it'll be there.
Oh, yeah, probably
the last one.
There.
About 10 from last.
Mm-hmm.
"Dove Deliveries.
211 South Sierra."
Dents
Show me one of my trucks
that doesn't have them.
People use those vans
for target practice.
What about the guys?
Any of them look..
...I don't know, shook?
Nervous?
Yeah, nervous, sick.
No...wait a minute.
Abel came in early
from his run.
That's right.
He said he didn't feel good.
- Abel Henshaw.
Guy's nervous about
his driving too.
The company had to
put him on probation.
That's him.
Abel, what are you doing?
- Get out of the car.
- It was an accident.
Turn around, put your hands
on your head.
I was driving along
so safe, you know
and this guy cuts me off.
I had to get out of his way,
didn't I?
Why did they have to
be right there?
And then what happened?
Well, I-I couldn't think.
You know, I-I mean,
all my tickets
and, uh, my high risk
on the insurance.
You know how much
I need this job?
You know how much that
officer needed his life?
Uh, Mr. Henshaw,
you said somebody cut you off.
Describe the car.
Yeah...it was used,
all-all rusted all over.
You know, uh, they shouldn't
let...drive cars
like that on the highway.
What about the driver?
What about him?
It all happened so fast.
Can you remember
anything, Mr. Henshaw?
Well...he wore something...some
hat, like, no, like a helmet.
Like one of those old-time
football helmets, you know
like they used to wear
in the Pat O'Brien movies.
You know, "Win one
for the Gipper?"
I know it sounds hollow
and everything but..
..I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
'He served his country'
'as a brave marine'
'and he served his state
as a brave peace officer.'
He'll be missed..
...by you, by me.
And most of all..
...he'll be missed
by his family.
For whose sacrifice..
...we are all deeply indebted.
And, salute.
Arms, huh!
Half right face.
Ready.
Aim.
Fire.
Pull.
'Aim.'
'Fire.'
'Aim.'
'Fire.'
Ready..
...to.
On behalf of the government of
the state of California
and all his friends in
the California Highway Patrol
please accept this as a small
token of our appreciation
for the..
..for the service
that Steve rendered.
Thank you.
Look, could you swallow
a cup of coff..
'Ah, forget it. You want
something stronger?'
Huh?
Oh, I wasn't
hung up on that.
No?
No, Jon,
old football helmets
from Pat O'Brien movies.
What are you talking about?
Backing up the off ramp into
my radiator, that's what.
What are you crazy?
Nobody backs up an off ramp.
Alright. Alright.
Take it easy, guys.
You'll both get a chance
to tell your story.
Now pull your cars
over to the shoulder.
We already got traffic backed up
to the freeway. Alright?
I've never seen
anything like it.
The guy gets to the stop sign
and then, wham!
He comes at me tail first.
Have you ever heard such
a phony excuse in your life?
And I bet you thought
you heard them..
Don't I know you?
I don't think so.
Look, uh, you want me to move
this off to the side, right?
Hey, wait a minute.
I'll be right with you.
What's going on?
That's the guy who went off
the shoulder yesterday.
Sideswiper?
How much do you want to bet
he's got an old football helmet
in there?
The guy knew what he was doing,
whoever he is.
Well, check
the car out
missing windows,
roll bar
like it was prepped
for accidents.
Remember that car he
took down the embankment?
The car, the driver.
You know what
I'm thinking?
Some kind of stunt man.
Some kind of stunt..
Are you ready, Dennis?
Quiet on the set.
Roll 'em.
Action.
Cut and print it.
Set up for the next stunt.
Okay, guys, that's it.
Let's move to
the next location.
'Down to the end
of the street.'
Ha-ha! Terrific.
Terrific, my man, as always.
Ah! Well, you can relax.
Don't go too far.
Oh, how much longer?
Oh, not much.
We're almost there.
Okay, now, look. Make sure this
cable is buried, understand?
Otherwise, we blow
the joke, okay?
Got it. Got it.
Say, look.
Did you talk to Dennis
about this new stunt?
Ah, no, no, that's next
on the agenda.
As a matter of fact,
go find him for me, will you?
- I'll be right over here.
- Okay.
- Dennis, Den..
- Dennis!
- 'We're not ready for you!'
- 'Hey, wait a minute!'
Wait! Wait! Dennis!
Hey! Wait a minute!
'Dennis!'
What do you suppose he gets
for a stunt like that, huh?
Oh, I'd suppose..
...seven years.
It was an insurance scam.
Grace would set himself up
as an accident victim
using various names.
And his girlfriend
at the DMV
supplied him with
the blank licenses.
Yeah, and since he was one
of the primo stunt drivers
in the business, he wasn't
worried about his skin.
He'll worry about it now.
Vehicular manslaughter
is a heavy charge.
Look, have you told
Cheryl Wydemeyer?
Yeah, for all the good it does.
Hey, you guys.
Someone in the lobby
says he wants to talk to you
about film work.
Barry Granger?
That's the director
of that film!
Hey, yeah, says he saw you
up on the set
when you busted
that stunt guy.
He thinks you got it.
- Yeah.
- That's what he said.
You hear that
My mirror was right.
Look out!
You want to talk
brilliant casting idea.
I got a world-class idea here.
- Barry.
Do I know you?
Ah! There he is. Ha!
What a face! I tell you.
For the role of the cop, right?
Look at that face. Huh
'For the role of the cop.
What do you think?'
Perfect. Perfect!
Hey, now, wait a minute,
guys, I mean, uh..
I mean a real cop,
yeah, but..
'Hey, come on.'
You gotta say yes.
You don't want us
to hire him, do you?
What?
What is this?
Oh, you guys.
You're crazy.
Movie star?
Ha ha ha!
I don't care
who you are
you'll never work
in Hollywood again.
three martini lunch?
Your estimate's
conservative.
Who's your date for Steve's
party, or do you have one?
Nope, but I eliminated
Janet and Carrie.
Oh, what a shame.
They're going to be heartbroken.
Yeah, which leaves Tina,
Delores and Victoria.
Only three?
Yeah, if you don't count Mary,
Marge, Marine, and Carline.
What's the matter
with you cops?
Can't you find somebody
doing somethingwrong?
Well, our highway patrol
has finally come alive.
About time.
Okay, old girl,
now which one of these dudes
you think has
the most insurance?
'The Seville?'
50 grand accident,
50 personal injury.
What do
you think, huh?
Mercedes?
I resent
the implication
because if I'm drunk,
the mayor's drunk
half the City Council's drunk
because that's where
I've been, gentlemen
to a very
important meeting.
We understand, ma'am.
Would you extend
your arms for me, please
'and try touching
your nose.'
Now, the arms out first.
Right hand,
then the left hand.
I'll do it,
but I won't like it.
Right hand...left hand.
- That's the way.
- Very good.
Will that be all,
gentlemen?
Uh, could you stand
on one foot for me, please
and tilt
your head back.
If you insist.
Yes.
Easy does it.
Easy. Easy.
Next, they'll be asking me
to walk a straight line.
Would you do
that for me, please?
Now, we go heel to toe,
like this.
I'd appreciate it.
I am trying my very best,
gentlemen, not to get angry.
Thank you.
It makes our job
a lot more pleasant.
Now, here we go,
heel to toe.
Wait until I tell
the mayor about this.
Shoes.
Wait a minute.
That's the one.
Imported and expensive.
And look at that
fat cat driving it, baby.
He don't know it yet,
but he's going to get us
into a bad accident.
And is his insurance carrier
gonna pay.
Ah, there.
Now, I ask you,
is that a straight line
or is that a straight line?
Well, yeah.
This ain't
your day, Dennis.
Code 33.
Down..
...H-Hensworth...overpass...
Foothill freeway.
'Attention all units,
Code 33.'
'Units vicinity of the Foothill
Freeway and Hensworth.'
'Officer down.'
'Units responding identify.'
Mary 3 and 4 responding
for Foothill knock down.
Alright,
folks, back up.
Come on, move out.
Go back to your cars.
Clear away
from him, please.
- Move back, sir.
- Get back, please.
Steve. Steve!
Hey, Ponch.
Help's coming.
Just stay still.
Bear?
Oh, no, he's out.
What happened, ma'am?
Please, ma'am, any help
you could give us.
A van!
It was a van!
A van. It just came
from nowhere.
Oh, my God.
Getraer's on his way.
Paramedics are right behind me.
Jon..
Relax, Steve.
It'll wait, alright?
Cheryl..
...you make the call.
Okay?
Here come
the paramedics.
Yeah, I'll call her,
Steve.
Some kind of a van.
Medium-sized, blue, no license
plate number, no nothing.
It all happened too quick.
Bird.
Bird.
Okay, Steve.
It'll wait. Alright?
Bird.
Now, just take it easy.
It'll wait, alright?
Keep still, Steve.
You're back early, Abel.
Yeah, Phil, I didn't
feel so good
so I thought
I'd bring her in.
You look a little pale.
I got one more week
on probation.
All I need is another
traffic accident, huh?
We still haven't fixed the truck
since your last wreck.
Yeah, I know, Phil.
That's funny, I didn't realize
it was that banged up.
Yeah, listen, Phil,
I'm sorry about that, I..
Let me tell you something.
I've been watching
you lately.
Maybe you're just a little too
careful these days, huh?
Hey, Phil...if you had
my insurance rating
you'd be careful too.
You know what I mean?
But I got almost everything
delivered. I promise.
Well, listen,
when a guy doesn't feel well
he ought to be home in bed with
a couple of aspirins. Go ahead.
I appreciate it, Phil.
I really do.
Uh, if you can't come in
tomorrow, call in.
No, no, Phil, listen,
I'm going to be perfect.
I'll see you first thing
tomorrow morning.
Any word?
No, they're still working
on both of them.
Almost an hour now.
Listen, can I get you
some coffee or anything?
Oh, no, I'm high-strung enough
as it is right now.
Sometimes, I think people like
us shouldn't get married at all.
No, you live with
a person you love
and you learn not to jump
every time the phone rings.
'The odds are with you.'
Yeah, sounds like Steve.
Steve didn't say it. I did.
When he didn't know
if he wanted to marry me or not.
I'm Dr. Rhoades.
- Sergeant..
- Uh, Getraer.
This is
Officer Wydemeyer's wife.
Mrs. Wydemeyer.
Both injured officers
suffered from
multiple bruises,
contusions.
There were broken bones and
internal hemorrhaging.
'Officer Baricza
is in stable condition.'
- 'He'll pull through.'
There was a hairline
fracture of the skull
which resulted in
a subdural hematoma.
We did everything
we could.
He's gone,
Mrs. Wydemeyer.
'I'm sorry.'
No...I'm alright.
Thank you.
- Sure.
Um, we'll have to put
Saturday's party off a while.
I didn't say that.
I didn't.
Hey, we understand.
Look, you guys sure
he said "bird?"
What?
Steve. Are you sure
he said "bird?"
Yeah, bird, I don't know.
It didn't make any sense.
Maybe he meant
"T-Bird."
No, Ponch, he was hit by a van.
Yeah, but it could have been one
of those license plates..
...uh, personalized jobs.
Okay, well, look,
I'll take it to DMV.
You guys better get going.
Going?
Yeah, finish your tour.
Yeah..
...neither, uh..
...neither rain, snow..
...nor death, right?
Jon.
Cut! Cut! Cut!
That was marvelous! Marvelous!
Get me down out of here.
You better have had your lens
cap off for that one, baby.
Okay, you guys, come on,
help me get him out of there.
Okay, alright.
Yeah, I'm fine.
- Fine, fine, fine.
Listen, how was the angle?
Did it come in low enough?
- Perfect. Just what I wanted.
Oh, it was beautiful.
Right in there.
Come on in the trailer,
I'll buy you a drink.
This one's mine.
You got it.
Step out
of the car, please.
Put your hands
where I can see them.
Thanks, but I'm comfortable
where I am.
Now, you want any help
out of that car
I'll be glad
to supply it.
Now, get out!
You step over here.
I thought the old
rubber hose routine
went out with bow ties
and white socks.
You're a scream, kid,
but two wisecracks is the limit.
Now, let me see
your driver's license.
You mean, you're not
going to frisk me, huh?
Pat me down for weapons?
Oh, darn. I'm disappointed.
On second thought--
Ah-ah-ah-ah.
Decisions, decisions.
My, oh, my.
Forgive me.
I've hurt your
partner's feelings.
May I see your
driver's license, please?
Of course.
I'm going to cite you for
excessive speed, Mr., uh..
Burham.
Burham, yeah,
that's right.
Unsafe lane change,
reckless driving.
Is this your present address?
You got them?
- Sheila..
- I don't know.
No, it's either
you got them or not.
You've collected from two
insurance companies already.
You know how many are listed
in the yellow pages?
What are you going to do?
Put a claim in on all of them?
Isn't Laura worth it?
Laura's been
dead 3 years now.
You didn't hear the sound
the tires made.
You didn't hear
what that..
..executive from Eastern
International Life Insurance
told me right there
at the lousy funeral.
"You didn't tell us,
Mr. Grace
"you made your living
driving stunt cars.
"Naturally, we can't
honor coverage
bought under
false pretenses."
Maybe if you told them upfront
you did stunt work, they'd--
I tried that.
I tried it with California
Meridian, National General
with Federal, with Western,
with all of them.
Sheila, you told me
you could get me licenses.
"No sweat," you said.
They're in my purse.
Don't tell me you got something
against getting rich
especially off some
fat cat corporation
that plays percentages
with your life.
If there was just
some other way, I..
You know something?
I could win every last one
of those accident cases
under a thousand
phony names
and it would just be a drop in
the bucket to them.
They wouldn't even blink.
They're probably insured.
We've had this gym in
for how long now?
Usually, you can
shoot ducks in here.
Got to keep busy, sarge.
Otherwise, we'll go crazy.
Yeah, I know
what you mean, um..
About that idea you had
on the license plate..
Bird.
Yeah, well, there are
about 50 of them..
...Bird, Birdie,
Bird-1, Bird-2
so far, none on a van.
They'll ask Baricza about it
when they interview him
won't they?
Well, doctors don't know
when that'll be..
...or if it'll be.
Look, uh, Steve's wife would
like you guys to be pallbearers.
So would I.
Sure.
It's the whole formal
ceremony, gentlemen.
The commissioner will be there,
honor guard, motorcycle escort..
...you'll be involved
in that too, of course.
It's a stupid way
to lose a man.
Stupid, stupid way!
'Attention,
Glendale Freeway Unit.'
'At the Dichter off ramp,
citizens report'
'of a vehicle over the side.'
That's for us.
Mary 3 and 4 responding.
I didn't cut him off.
I didn't know the guy
was in that lane.
He came out of nowhere.
I had my signals on, I swear.
Alright, alright, just stay put.
I'll get your story, alright?
Hey, easy, easy.
You don't want to make it any
worse, internal injuries.
I'm okay.
Look what that road hog
did to my car.
Cut me off like that.
What are you blind?
I-I didn't see you, man.
"Didn't see you?"
All those people saw me.
Sure, he's driving a big,
fancy sports car.
'Right away he thinks
he owns the whole road.'
'Look, I'm insured.
You're not hurt.'
How do you know
I'm not hurt?
Tell me,
you're a doctor, right?
Alright, alright,
that's enough.
But wait a minute. Now, maybe
this guy can afford
six or seven of old heaps
like mine, but I can't.
Aah!
You better call
an ambulance.
You want to pull your car
over to the shoulder?
Just sit down over here.
Come on.
Getraer's been trying to
get you on the horn.
That's right,
it's almost 11:00.
I'm supposed to meet him
at the funeral parlor.
- Listen, can you, uh..
- Get going. Go on.
Thanks a lot.
Hey, look, Ponch.
It's an emblem.
An emblem on
the side of a van.
That's what he was talking
about, an emblem.
Well, we got something
to ask Baricza about
when they interview
him again.
Yeah, when.
Alright, here's an ad
for house of pets.
Has a bird emblem,
see?
Yeah, but
that's a parrot.
Steve would have said parrot.
I don't think it's a pet shop.
What other kinds of businesses
have bird emblems on their vans?
Diaper service?
What about a stork?
Okay, you know, this is
going to take forever.
Do you know how many
bird emblems
they've got
in this book alone?
Yeah, almost a hundred.
We have a list from
the advertising council.
I plan to have Baricza
look it over.
Hey, how's Bear doing?
Well enough to go through
a preliminary debriefing
which confirmed your hunch.
Steve meant a logo
on the van that hit him.
Any idea when Bear will
be up and around?
Well, if I know Baricza,
it won't be long.
They're waiting for us.
Ah, gentlemen.
There'll be three of you
on either side of the coffin
in the following order.
I think, uh, you,
you, and you.
'Then, on the other side'
'you'll be on...over there.'
'And then you, possibly..'
- Frank.
- Look.
Hey, Bear.
What do you say, Bear?
Jon, how you doing?
Hi, Ponch.
If they hadn't have let me come,
I would have walked out anyway.
Well, we never
doubted it...ever.
I want to be in
the procession, sarge.
Well, uh...
It would be
most appropriate I think.
So do I.
Not many more left.
Easy, Poncherello,
it'll be there.
Oh, yeah, probably
the last one.
There.
About 10 from last.
Mm-hmm.
"Dove Deliveries.
211 South Sierra."
Dents
Show me one of my trucks
that doesn't have them.
People use those vans
for target practice.
What about the guys?
Any of them look..
...I don't know, shook?
Nervous?
Yeah, nervous, sick.
No...wait a minute.
Abel came in early
from his run.
That's right.
He said he didn't feel good.
- Abel Henshaw.
Guy's nervous about
his driving too.
The company had to
put him on probation.
That's him.
Abel, what are you doing?
- Get out of the car.
- It was an accident.
Turn around, put your hands
on your head.
I was driving along
so safe, you know
and this guy cuts me off.
I had to get out of his way,
didn't I?
Why did they have to
be right there?
And then what happened?
Well, I-I couldn't think.
You know, I-I mean,
all my tickets
and, uh, my high risk
on the insurance.
You know how much
I need this job?
You know how much that
officer needed his life?
Uh, Mr. Henshaw,
you said somebody cut you off.
Describe the car.
Yeah...it was used,
all-all rusted all over.
You know, uh, they shouldn't
let...drive cars
like that on the highway.
What about the driver?
What about him?
It all happened so fast.
Can you remember
anything, Mr. Henshaw?
Well...he wore something...some
hat, like, no, like a helmet.
Like one of those old-time
football helmets, you know
like they used to wear
in the Pat O'Brien movies.
You know, "Win one
for the Gipper?"
I know it sounds hollow
and everything but..
..I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
'He served his country'
'as a brave marine'
'and he served his state
as a brave peace officer.'
He'll be missed..
...by you, by me.
And most of all..
...he'll be missed
by his family.
For whose sacrifice..
...we are all deeply indebted.
And, salute.
Arms, huh!
Half right face.
Ready.
Aim.
Fire.
Pull.
'Aim.'
'Fire.'
'Aim.'
'Fire.'
Ready..
...to.
On behalf of the government of
the state of California
and all his friends in
the California Highway Patrol
please accept this as a small
token of our appreciation
for the..
..for the service
that Steve rendered.
Thank you.
Look, could you swallow
a cup of coff..
'Ah, forget it. You want
something stronger?'
Huh?
Oh, I wasn't
hung up on that.
No?
No, Jon,
old football helmets
from Pat O'Brien movies.
What are you talking about?
Backing up the off ramp into
my radiator, that's what.
What are you crazy?
Nobody backs up an off ramp.
Alright. Alright.
Take it easy, guys.
You'll both get a chance
to tell your story.
Now pull your cars
over to the shoulder.
We already got traffic backed up
to the freeway. Alright?
I've never seen
anything like it.
The guy gets to the stop sign
and then, wham!
He comes at me tail first.
Have you ever heard such
a phony excuse in your life?
And I bet you thought
you heard them..
Don't I know you?
I don't think so.
Look, uh, you want me to move
this off to the side, right?
Hey, wait a minute.
I'll be right with you.
What's going on?
That's the guy who went off
the shoulder yesterday.
Sideswiper?
How much do you want to bet
he's got an old football helmet
in there?
The guy knew what he was doing,
whoever he is.
Well, check
the car out
missing windows,
roll bar
like it was prepped
for accidents.
Remember that car he
took down the embankment?
The car, the driver.
You know what
I'm thinking?
Some kind of stunt man.
Some kind of stunt..
Are you ready, Dennis?
Quiet on the set.
Roll 'em.
Action.
Cut and print it.
Set up for the next stunt.
Okay, guys, that's it.
Let's move to
the next location.
'Down to the end
of the street.'
Ha-ha! Terrific.
Terrific, my man, as always.
Ah! Well, you can relax.
Don't go too far.
Oh, how much longer?
Oh, not much.
We're almost there.
Okay, now, look. Make sure this
cable is buried, understand?
Otherwise, we blow
the joke, okay?
Got it. Got it.
Say, look.
Did you talk to Dennis
about this new stunt?
Ah, no, no, that's next
on the agenda.
As a matter of fact,
go find him for me, will you?
- I'll be right over here.
- Okay.
- Dennis, Den..
- Dennis!
- 'We're not ready for you!'
- 'Hey, wait a minute!'
Wait! Wait! Dennis!
Hey! Wait a minute!
'Dennis!'
What do you suppose he gets
for a stunt like that, huh?
Oh, I'd suppose..
...seven years.
It was an insurance scam.
Grace would set himself up
as an accident victim
using various names.
And his girlfriend
at the DMV
supplied him with
the blank licenses.
Yeah, and since he was one
of the primo stunt drivers
in the business, he wasn't
worried about his skin.
He'll worry about it now.
Vehicular manslaughter
is a heavy charge.
Look, have you told
Cheryl Wydemeyer?
Yeah, for all the good it does.
Hey, you guys.
Someone in the lobby
says he wants to talk to you
about film work.
Barry Granger?
That's the director
of that film!
Hey, yeah, says he saw you
up on the set
when you busted
that stunt guy.
He thinks you got it.
- Yeah.
- That's what he said.
You hear that
My mirror was right.
Look out!
You want to talk
brilliant casting idea.
I got a world-class idea here.
- Barry.
Do I know you?
Ah! There he is. Ha!
What a face! I tell you.
For the role of the cop, right?
Look at that face. Huh
'For the role of the cop.
What do you think?'
Perfect. Perfect!
Hey, now, wait a minute,
guys, I mean, uh..
I mean a real cop,
yeah, but..
'Hey, come on.'
You gotta say yes.
You don't want us
to hire him, do you?
What?
What is this?
Oh, you guys.
You're crazy.
Movie star?
Ha ha ha!
I don't care
who you are
you'll never work
in Hollywood again.