CHiPs (1977–1983): Season 3, Episode 4 - High Octane - full transcript
'What do you mean,
you don't have any?'
- It's 7 a.m.!
Take the red flag off
put the green flag
up there and open up.
Look at all these people.
What are you going to do?
You know, every time
I think this gas crunch
is getting better,
it gets worse.
And those guys stealing gas
aren't making it any easier.
Hey, looks like we may
have a problem here.
Maybe another victim.
Well, I'm at work and have
nothing to tell you.
Income tax, that's it. Is that
what you're trying to say to me?
Are you trying
to say that to me?
Well, I've been here
since 5 o' clock this morn--
- Hey, hey, hey!
Settle down now. Settle down.
- Settle down! Settle down.
- Okay, alright, sir.
Officer, am I glad to see you.
Alright, I take it
you're out of gas.
I had a shipment due last night
but they never showed up.
I get here
at 6:45 this morning
all these people waiting,
and my tanks are dry.
Okay, folks,
I know this is a bad scene
but you might as well clear out.
You have nothing to gain here.
Come on, folks, there's a gas
station open about a mile
'south of here
and one east of here.'
'Give them a try, alright?'
Listen, there's
a gang going around
stealing gas from
independent stations.
They didn't happen
to rip you off, did they?
No, no. I called the company.
All their deliveries
are fouled up.
Okay.
Loose mudguard. Take him.
Call in the TC.
I'll be right back.
Yes, sir.
- Oh, boy.
We got cops
coming up on us, son.
I can't outrun them in this rig.
Ten thousand gallons
of stolen gas, Slim.
Seven thousand
bucks if we sell it.
A felony rap if we're caught!
Take the next off-ramp.
Leave the rest to me.
Go ahead.
How bad is it, Grossie?
Bruises, abrasions, minor burns
maybe a slight concussion.
Hey, sarge?
Joe, can you hear me?
Yeah. Good old Poncherello.
One of the finest officers.
He's delirious.
Get him out of here.
Any witnesses, Grossie?
Long gone.
But we got one thing positive
the name on the tanker.
"Net-oil." Big blue letters.
N-E-T hyphen O-I-L.
You know, something you don't
realize, that cop might be dead.
We ought to be back at the
warehouse right now, laying low.
Well, if we don't
deliver this load
before Beasley runs out of gas
he can run us out of business.
Yeah Who's going
to blow the whistle?
Anybody that buys gas from us
is just as guilty as we are,
including Karl Beasley.
Right.
Karl Beasley is a crook.
You got to be careful
with crooks, baby.
They're dangerous.
Sarge, Sindy's running a check
on those Net-oil vehicles
to make sure
they're all accounted for.
Yeah.
They will be.
If you see that truck again
it won't look the same.
Oh, you'll see it again.
I promise you that.
Be cool, Baker.
I don't know whether
they were trying to burn me
but they sure knew I'd skid when
my tires hit that gasoline.
I wish I hadn't
stopped for that collision.
But I guess one of us had to.
Better me here than you with
that game coming up, huh?
Can we help?
It's a roller hockey match.
The kids we sponsor
against the west LA kids.
Ever play hockey?
Man you're talking to the champ.
I used to be the best
street hockey player
in the neighborhood.
What do you want, just ask?
- No.
You see,
I was supposed to referee--
Hey, anything else, okay?
But referee, no.
I referee all day long
out there on the streets
I don't need
the aggravation on my off time.
Not even for the kids.
Not even for a fallen comrade?
Hey, no way, not me.
- Let Grossman do it.
- I can't!
I'm a coach. I'm prejudiced.
A referee
must be totally impartial.
I'll second that.
'Hey, Dan, how you doing?'
You all know Dan Chapman.
What happened?
They closed down west LA?
They sent me over to Central
to help out for a few days.
It seems like the sergeant
got caught
tailgating a tanker truck.
Well, it's one way to get
a little sack time, huh?
Just dropped by to say hello.
And I want you guys to know
'that although I'm
serving in Central section'
my heart's still in
west LA with the boys.
He's the west LA coach.
See, we gotta
replace me as referee
we were thinking of Poncherello.
Oh, no, no, no.
Listen I got a guy.
Hey, wait a minute.
What's with this, "Oh, no?"
I've got a impartial,
even tempered
rational guy in mind, alright?
Yeah?
Sounds like
a ringer to me, sarge--
Hey, wait a minute,
wait a minute.
Are you implying that I cheat?
You're implying I'm irrational.
I was merely stating
the qualifications
of a man who really
knows this game.
Knows it?
Man I practically invented it.
Come on, I was playing
street hockey on skates
when you were still
on the baby buggy.
And I could've
gotten out of it then
and played your socks off.
Boy, I'd love to give you
a chance to prove that.
'But it's got nothing
to do with finding a referee.'
Quiet, please! All of you!
Now, take your argument
somewhere else, huh?
Now, clear the room. We need
the patient for X-ray's.
'Everyone out! Out!'
You don't have to
find a referee.
You got one. Me.
Hey, that's great, Ponch.
See you, sarge.
I'll get you
a rule books so that you can
'study up
for the big match, okay?'
Uh..
See, I knew Ponch could never
say no to a fallen comrade.
You worried about the cops
they won't be back for a while.
Yeah, how long ago
were they here?
About an hour.
Looking me over
like I was Raquel Welch.
Checking everybody nowadays.
They check me, I'm in trouble.
You this late again,
I'll give you trouble.
Look, I said I'd be here.
I'm here.
Now, the risk I'm taking,
don't give me any late.
You want me to buy
any more gas from you
you better be on time.
On schedule before 7 a.m.
Like we agreed.
Beasley, as long as
we need each other
you don't scare me
all that much.
Neither one of us is going to do
anything foolish, right?
Cash.
Keep 20. Spilled some.
Cops against cops!
Cops against cops?
Roller hockey cops
against cops.
Would I give anything to meet
Sergeant Dan Chapman one-on-one.
How 'bout guys against girls?
I'm talking business.
You're talking recreation.
Hi, Beth.
Hi, Ponch.
You know,
it's worth the trip across town
just to watch you work.
Yeah, well, it must be true.
I've heard it
a hundred times this morning.
Any problems?
Yeah.
What will I wear tonight?
Oh, just be comfortable.
We're gonna be taking
in a football game.
Football? I love it.
Officer! Officer! Officer!
Officer, I've been robbed.
My gas, siphoning it
right out of the tank.
It was a red Camaro,
uh, 146 I-L-S.
Okay. Ponch!
- That way.
- Yeah, I'm alright.
Alright.
- Yeah.
You better move it
or by the time you
back down off this truck
you could be in Alaska.
Alright? So move it out.
Aye!
Siphoning gas
from a state vehicle
is a heavy rap, you know that?
This vehicle's not in use.
Fuel in vehicles
not in use, evaporates.
Evaporation causes waste, okay?
Hey, you're really on top
of things, aren't you?
Yeah, I try to.
Hey, Harlan, check out my motor,
would you, please?
I gave it
a pretty rough ride today.
Yeah, I'm not surprised.
Hey, Jon!
'Did you ever get
a line on the truck'
that did that damage
to the sergeant's machine?
Harlan, there was a man
on that machine.
Yeah, I know, Getraer!
Recovering quickly
or so I understand
from Sergeant Chapman.
Oh, yeah.
I forgot about Chapman.
I didn't.
Hey, Harlan, uh, next time
why don't you try
a dash of vermouth
and an olive?
Irrational, huh?
Beat my socks off, huh?
Ha ha! Well, yeah,
something like that.
Uh, you know, sarge,
I've been thinking--
Good. Thank you
for calling it to my attention.
Oh, Getraer, now him
same endearing charms.
What's your problem,
Poncherello?
Hey, no problem.
Just an idea.
A challenge match,
roller hockey.
You guys from west LA
against a team of us
from Central.
Not the kids! Cops against cops.
You got some paperwork to do?
- Some, yeah.
- Go do it.
Well, Jon,
it's just like you said.
He wouldn't go for it.
- Yeah.
You said that
the west LA Guys were, too soft.
Yeah, that's what
I think you said.
Come in, Beth!
It's open!
I'll be right with you!
'Find a place for your things!'
- Hi.
- Hi.
- Well, you look terrific.
- Mm, thanks.
Listen, now, you get comfortable
and prepare to enjoy.
You said we were
going to a football game.
Hey, wait a minute.
I didn't say going to.
What I said was, "Taking in."
I don't believe
in fighting traffic
fighting the crowds.
What I do believe in
is privacy and comfort.
Now, you sit down
and I'll be right back.
- Ta-da!
- Ha ha ha!
You mean the game is on TV?
And we got
the best seats in the stadium.
Hotdogs on the stove
buns in the oven
and gobs of fresh,
hot butter popcorns.
You really make me feel
like something special.
Well, you are.
Yeah, but, um,
before we get to the hotdogs
I just got to tell you we don't
play favorites at the station.
- Gasoline.
If that's what
this is all about.
Beth, this has nothing
to do with gasoline.
We take our chances
like everybody else..
- Odd.
Mm-hmm.
And we ask no special favors.
- Right.
I mean, sure helps to know
when a station is opening up
what time the lines
starts to form.
That way we get there early.
Don't have to wait too long.
So, we can go out
where we're needed.
Out on patrol.
Be there at 5:30.
Only because
you're irresistible.
Mm, salty.
I was getting worried.
I thought you might be
asleep or something.
You weren't in bed, were you?
I got company, Artie.
Oh, I can dig it.
Listen, I won't come in.
I just wanted to drop this off.
A rule book?
A complete guide
to roller hockey.
I know it's been sometime since
you've played and well
a bad call could cost
the kids the game.
Goodnight, Grossie.
And remember, if you're
not sure about something
just look over at me.
You're a real human being.
Goodnight.
Now, where were we?
First down, goal to go.
Just hold it, right there!
What do you think you're doing?
You weren't expecting
a delivery, sir?
No, and you don't deliver
with a suction hose, either!
I'm asking you,
what are you doing?
thud
I told the sheriff
everything I know.
I've been sleeping here
every night.
Last night I went home
for dinner. Took a nap.
How much gas they get?
Oh, just about
200 gallons is all.
I got here just about
the time they started.
Look, did you notice anything
special about the truck?
I mean, was the
rear end fire
Well..
..rear end of the truck..
That's the last thing I saw.
No, no fire-blackening.
Just the intake hose dragging.
Spilling gas. My gas.
And a mudguard missing.
Mudguard?
Right
Yeah. Why?
Uh..
In our business,
we call that a clue.
It's not the baby
that hit Steve's car.
thud
The gas fumes!
This car could blow any minute!
Come on. His knees.
Better let 'em
take you to the hospital.
I'm okay.
It was just those gas fumes.
I felt myself passing out,
but, like..
...I was paralyzed,
couldn't help myself.
How's my car?
It's a total loss.
Oh, boy.
I better let 'em
take me to the hospital.
Didn't anybody ever tell you
about carrying gasoline
in your car like that?
Yeah, yeah, sure.
I learned my lesson.
Two hits a night
in a well-defined area
all in county territory
which means
these gasoline bandits
belong to
the sheriff or to us.
I hope you guys don't
let the sheriff beat you to it.
I thought you said
he'd be out for a month.
Well, you know me.
I'm an optimist.
Would you pay attention
to your supervisor?
Hey, watch it, sarge.
You may aggravate
your condition.
'Okay.'
Now, there might be
more trucks involved
'but there's one
we can identify'
'no matter what color it is
or what lettering is on it.'
Chained mudguards.
One missing, one new, both new.
Evidence of front-end damage.
And don't be impressed by
authentic-looking documents.
You want to
take this over, sergeant?
Uh, no, no. I'm-I'm sorry.
I'm sick.
I was thinking, though,
that the, uh
crooks won't hit
the same station twice
but, uh, I'm sure you were
going to point that out.
Thank you.
Concentrate
on the independents.
'Any dealer
who's got plenty of gas'
'is either
a customer of the crooks'
or a guy who's going to get hit
himself pretty soon.
Anything else?
Anybody?
Yeah, they tried to rob
Steve Barr's station last night
and only got 200 gallons.
Now, either today, tonight
or maybe tomorrow morning
one of the customers
is going to be
low on gas or run out of gas.
Fine, Baker. Thank you.
Now for the lighter side.
How many off-duty are going
to the roller hockey match?
Alright, alright.
As your substitute supervisor
we'll all agree on friendly,
fair and understanding.
But at the hockey match,
forget it.
West LA is my team,
and we're going to stomp you.
Come on, give me a break.
That's all. No applause.
That's it.
I, uh, suppose you read
that rule book I gave you.
Yeah. Page 18,
paragraph 2, section 23.
"Any attempt by a coach
"to influence
an official in his favor
"shall result
in forfeit of the game."
- Mm-hmm.
- Poncherello.
- Yeah.
If you're
going to be the referee
I thought you might
want to glance
the rule book
before the match.
Gee, thanks, sarge.
And if during the game
you have any
doubts about a call
just glance over at me.
I'll set you straight, okay?
Yeah, sure.
Randy! Attaboy, Mort!
Alright! Come on, Don.
Good saves, good saves, Ollie!
Alright, let's go, James!
Good luck to you.
Come on, Sean. Let's go, boy!
'Okay, Ray, come on!'
'Come on, now!'
Come on, ref!
Don't miss any calls, Ponch!
- Hey, Ponch.
- Hey! Hi, Grossie.
Hey, you better keep
an eye on that number eight.
'He has a tendency
to high-stick a lot.'
I know that kid. He's the
league's leading scorer.
You know that, huh?
Hey, you coach,
and I'll referee.
I saw you giving
my star player the eye.
I don't want
any favoritism here.
- Hey, go to your bench.
- Listen to me a minute--
No, coach.
Here, you listen to me.
Says so in the rule book.
Let's go, Central! Come on!
Get out there! Come on!
Come on! Play some defense!
- Right! Right! Right!
- Woo-hoo!
Let's go, guys!
Alright!
'Come on! Go get them!'
Hang in there, now!
One minute, guys!
One minute to play!
Come on, now!
One minute! Let's go!
Alright!
Okay! Way to go!
High stick. No goal. No score.
Hey, Ponch, what was that call?
Rule book.
Page nine.
It was a good call.
It was a good call!
His stick was high.
Ponch, come on, wake up.
Beth is here.
Beth is here Where?
Come on, she's going to
open up the station, alright?
Good. I'm awake.
There's a few things
I want to say to her.
Hey, Beth, you know,
it's almost 7 o' clock.
Yeah. Hi. That's when I open.
See the sign?
I asked you what time
to get here
so we could be
at the head of the line
and you said 5:30.
- Right.
- Well, we're here.
Tell me, Beth-how many other
people did you say that to, huh?
I told you, all my friends.
I just don't play favorites.
She made a bad call.
Uh, two coffees, please.
5:30! Fine thing.
Hot dogs, buttered popcorn,
wasted. Wasted!
The stick was high.
They want impartial,
they get impartial.
Thank you.
Look at that line,
two blocks long.
Bad call, partner. 5:30.
I mean, you can't bounce
the puck for a goal, man.
I don't know what
Grossie's so sore about.
I didn't want our kids
to lose, either!
Uh, Ponch, you were right there
on top of the action.
You made the call
you believe in, right?
I mean, that's over.
What Grossie thinks
or what I think
what anybody else
doesn't make
a bit of difference.
- Wrong.
It makes a difference.
'It looks like that guy changes'
'business hours rather quickly.'
'Like, maybe he expected a
delivery that didn't get there.'
It's worth watching.
- Hey-hey, not guilty!
I've been certified to sit
at my desk as of tomorrow
so Dan will be going
back to west LA.
Oh, I hate tearful partings.
About that hockey game
you made a good call
that cost your team
at least a tie.
- You showed me something.
- Hear, hear.
Gee, sarge, I thought you
were going to say something
about accepting the challenge.
What challenge?
Cops against cops, remember?
Your west LA guys
keep yelling, "We won."
They didn't win. The kids won.
They want to win, let them try.
Them against us.
Love it! I love it!
Dan, that's a challenge.
It could get rough.
It might cause hard feelings.
Hey, nobody's going to feel
any worse than I have
since I had to deny
our kids that goal.
If we could be sure
of getting a fair shake.
Well, it depends
on the referee, sarge.
You said you had someone.
If I may..
...when Ponch made that call
and the kids
all know it, Ponch
he proved to me you can't find
a better referee.
Oh, no.
Poncherello said he could
skate my socks off.
If we play...he plays.
Well, then let him pick the ref!
Alright.
If you come up with someone
we can all agree upon..
...we accept the challenge.
You got it!
There you go.
Oh..
...Baker!
'I ran a check on Karl's
U-serve gas station.'
Shady operation.
We put a stakeout on it.
That was nice work.
Sorry we had to miss you
yesterday, Karl.
In the old days, "sorry" would
get you a concrete overcoat.
I'll take it all.
LA 15, special unit one.
I think we've got
a live one at my 10-20.
'Any unit in the vicinity'
'respond to
special unit one's request'
'for backup at Karl's U-serve'
'Dyer Avenue at Florisande.'
Special one, Mary three
and four approaching on Dyer.
Three miles east of you.
Come in on channel two.
Gary, all day yesterday
I was closed.
You didn't deliver,
and you cost me a bundle.
I'm buying you off
at four bits a gallon.
Slim, shut it down.
Seventy cents is the price!
Fifty cents or nothing!
- Slim, shut it down.
'
'Yeah, he's just
shutting it down, that's all.'
- 'Come on, come on.'
- '70 cents is the price, man.'
Four bits is plenty! What the..
Hey, hey, wait a minute,
you guys! Come on!
Special unit one, I think the
tanker's about to leave, Jon.
You better crank it up.
10-4, Sindy.
We'll take the truck.
You take the station.
How much gas did you dump?
Close to 500.
Okay, we got, uh...3500 left.
We'll sell it
at my price tonight.
That rat freak.
Hey. Good luck.
Looks like we've got cops.
Aah!
Get out of here!
'Out!'
Ponch, it's going to blow!
Agh!
- 'It's just my shoulder.'
Let's get out of here.
Aah!
You okay?
Your shoulder alright?
Yeah, it's okay. No problem.
Oh, come on, tell me the truth.
Is the shoulder alright?
You really care,
don't you, huh?
Of course, I care!
You can't swing a hockey stick
with a busted shoulder.
Don't slap it! Don't slap!
Trapped ball, gentlemen.
Let's face it off.
Follow me, please.
Hey, you ain't half bad.
You're pretty good
yourself, ref.
I think he likes
your referee. They all do.
Hey, that's the trouble
with Beth.
She's too impartial.
you don't have any?'
- It's 7 a.m.!
Take the red flag off
put the green flag
up there and open up.
Look at all these people.
What are you going to do?
You know, every time
I think this gas crunch
is getting better,
it gets worse.
And those guys stealing gas
aren't making it any easier.
Hey, looks like we may
have a problem here.
Maybe another victim.
Well, I'm at work and have
nothing to tell you.
Income tax, that's it. Is that
what you're trying to say to me?
Are you trying
to say that to me?
Well, I've been here
since 5 o' clock this morn--
- Hey, hey, hey!
Settle down now. Settle down.
- Settle down! Settle down.
- Okay, alright, sir.
Officer, am I glad to see you.
Alright, I take it
you're out of gas.
I had a shipment due last night
but they never showed up.
I get here
at 6:45 this morning
all these people waiting,
and my tanks are dry.
Okay, folks,
I know this is a bad scene
but you might as well clear out.
You have nothing to gain here.
Come on, folks, there's a gas
station open about a mile
'south of here
and one east of here.'
'Give them a try, alright?'
Listen, there's
a gang going around
stealing gas from
independent stations.
They didn't happen
to rip you off, did they?
No, no. I called the company.
All their deliveries
are fouled up.
Okay.
Loose mudguard. Take him.
Call in the TC.
I'll be right back.
Yes, sir.
- Oh, boy.
We got cops
coming up on us, son.
I can't outrun them in this rig.
Ten thousand gallons
of stolen gas, Slim.
Seven thousand
bucks if we sell it.
A felony rap if we're caught!
Take the next off-ramp.
Leave the rest to me.
Go ahead.
How bad is it, Grossie?
Bruises, abrasions, minor burns
maybe a slight concussion.
Hey, sarge?
Joe, can you hear me?
Yeah. Good old Poncherello.
One of the finest officers.
He's delirious.
Get him out of here.
Any witnesses, Grossie?
Long gone.
But we got one thing positive
the name on the tanker.
"Net-oil." Big blue letters.
N-E-T hyphen O-I-L.
You know, something you don't
realize, that cop might be dead.
We ought to be back at the
warehouse right now, laying low.
Well, if we don't
deliver this load
before Beasley runs out of gas
he can run us out of business.
Yeah Who's going
to blow the whistle?
Anybody that buys gas from us
is just as guilty as we are,
including Karl Beasley.
Right.
Karl Beasley is a crook.
You got to be careful
with crooks, baby.
They're dangerous.
Sarge, Sindy's running a check
on those Net-oil vehicles
to make sure
they're all accounted for.
Yeah.
They will be.
If you see that truck again
it won't look the same.
Oh, you'll see it again.
I promise you that.
Be cool, Baker.
I don't know whether
they were trying to burn me
but they sure knew I'd skid when
my tires hit that gasoline.
I wish I hadn't
stopped for that collision.
But I guess one of us had to.
Better me here than you with
that game coming up, huh?
Can we help?
It's a roller hockey match.
The kids we sponsor
against the west LA kids.
Ever play hockey?
Man you're talking to the champ.
I used to be the best
street hockey player
in the neighborhood.
What do you want, just ask?
- No.
You see,
I was supposed to referee--
Hey, anything else, okay?
But referee, no.
I referee all day long
out there on the streets
I don't need
the aggravation on my off time.
Not even for the kids.
Not even for a fallen comrade?
Hey, no way, not me.
- Let Grossman do it.
- I can't!
I'm a coach. I'm prejudiced.
A referee
must be totally impartial.
I'll second that.
'Hey, Dan, how you doing?'
You all know Dan Chapman.
What happened?
They closed down west LA?
They sent me over to Central
to help out for a few days.
It seems like the sergeant
got caught
tailgating a tanker truck.
Well, it's one way to get
a little sack time, huh?
Just dropped by to say hello.
And I want you guys to know
'that although I'm
serving in Central section'
my heart's still in
west LA with the boys.
He's the west LA coach.
See, we gotta
replace me as referee
we were thinking of Poncherello.
Oh, no, no, no.
Listen I got a guy.
Hey, wait a minute.
What's with this, "Oh, no?"
I've got a impartial,
even tempered
rational guy in mind, alright?
Yeah?
Sounds like
a ringer to me, sarge--
Hey, wait a minute,
wait a minute.
Are you implying that I cheat?
You're implying I'm irrational.
I was merely stating
the qualifications
of a man who really
knows this game.
Knows it?
Man I practically invented it.
Come on, I was playing
street hockey on skates
when you were still
on the baby buggy.
And I could've
gotten out of it then
and played your socks off.
Boy, I'd love to give you
a chance to prove that.
'But it's got nothing
to do with finding a referee.'
Quiet, please! All of you!
Now, take your argument
somewhere else, huh?
Now, clear the room. We need
the patient for X-ray's.
'Everyone out! Out!'
You don't have to
find a referee.
You got one. Me.
Hey, that's great, Ponch.
See you, sarge.
I'll get you
a rule books so that you can
'study up
for the big match, okay?'
Uh..
See, I knew Ponch could never
say no to a fallen comrade.
You worried about the cops
they won't be back for a while.
Yeah, how long ago
were they here?
About an hour.
Looking me over
like I was Raquel Welch.
Checking everybody nowadays.
They check me, I'm in trouble.
You this late again,
I'll give you trouble.
Look, I said I'd be here.
I'm here.
Now, the risk I'm taking,
don't give me any late.
You want me to buy
any more gas from you
you better be on time.
On schedule before 7 a.m.
Like we agreed.
Beasley, as long as
we need each other
you don't scare me
all that much.
Neither one of us is going to do
anything foolish, right?
Cash.
Keep 20. Spilled some.
Cops against cops!
Cops against cops?
Roller hockey cops
against cops.
Would I give anything to meet
Sergeant Dan Chapman one-on-one.
How 'bout guys against girls?
I'm talking business.
You're talking recreation.
Hi, Beth.
Hi, Ponch.
You know,
it's worth the trip across town
just to watch you work.
Yeah, well, it must be true.
I've heard it
a hundred times this morning.
Any problems?
Yeah.
What will I wear tonight?
Oh, just be comfortable.
We're gonna be taking
in a football game.
Football? I love it.
Officer! Officer! Officer!
Officer, I've been robbed.
My gas, siphoning it
right out of the tank.
It was a red Camaro,
uh, 146 I-L-S.
Okay. Ponch!
- That way.
- Yeah, I'm alright.
Alright.
- Yeah.
You better move it
or by the time you
back down off this truck
you could be in Alaska.
Alright? So move it out.
Aye!
Siphoning gas
from a state vehicle
is a heavy rap, you know that?
This vehicle's not in use.
Fuel in vehicles
not in use, evaporates.
Evaporation causes waste, okay?
Hey, you're really on top
of things, aren't you?
Yeah, I try to.
Hey, Harlan, check out my motor,
would you, please?
I gave it
a pretty rough ride today.
Yeah, I'm not surprised.
Hey, Jon!
'Did you ever get
a line on the truck'
that did that damage
to the sergeant's machine?
Harlan, there was a man
on that machine.
Yeah, I know, Getraer!
Recovering quickly
or so I understand
from Sergeant Chapman.
Oh, yeah.
I forgot about Chapman.
I didn't.
Hey, Harlan, uh, next time
why don't you try
a dash of vermouth
and an olive?
Irrational, huh?
Beat my socks off, huh?
Ha ha! Well, yeah,
something like that.
Uh, you know, sarge,
I've been thinking--
Good. Thank you
for calling it to my attention.
Oh, Getraer, now him
same endearing charms.
What's your problem,
Poncherello?
Hey, no problem.
Just an idea.
A challenge match,
roller hockey.
You guys from west LA
against a team of us
from Central.
Not the kids! Cops against cops.
You got some paperwork to do?
- Some, yeah.
- Go do it.
Well, Jon,
it's just like you said.
He wouldn't go for it.
- Yeah.
You said that
the west LA Guys were, too soft.
Yeah, that's what
I think you said.
Come in, Beth!
It's open!
I'll be right with you!
'Find a place for your things!'
- Hi.
- Hi.
- Well, you look terrific.
- Mm, thanks.
Listen, now, you get comfortable
and prepare to enjoy.
You said we were
going to a football game.
Hey, wait a minute.
I didn't say going to.
What I said was, "Taking in."
I don't believe
in fighting traffic
fighting the crowds.
What I do believe in
is privacy and comfort.
Now, you sit down
and I'll be right back.
- Ta-da!
- Ha ha ha!
You mean the game is on TV?
And we got
the best seats in the stadium.
Hotdogs on the stove
buns in the oven
and gobs of fresh,
hot butter popcorns.
You really make me feel
like something special.
Well, you are.
Yeah, but, um,
before we get to the hotdogs
I just got to tell you we don't
play favorites at the station.
- Gasoline.
If that's what
this is all about.
Beth, this has nothing
to do with gasoline.
We take our chances
like everybody else..
- Odd.
Mm-hmm.
And we ask no special favors.
- Right.
I mean, sure helps to know
when a station is opening up
what time the lines
starts to form.
That way we get there early.
Don't have to wait too long.
So, we can go out
where we're needed.
Out on patrol.
Be there at 5:30.
Only because
you're irresistible.
Mm, salty.
I was getting worried.
I thought you might be
asleep or something.
You weren't in bed, were you?
I got company, Artie.
Oh, I can dig it.
Listen, I won't come in.
I just wanted to drop this off.
A rule book?
A complete guide
to roller hockey.
I know it's been sometime since
you've played and well
a bad call could cost
the kids the game.
Goodnight, Grossie.
And remember, if you're
not sure about something
just look over at me.
You're a real human being.
Goodnight.
Now, where were we?
First down, goal to go.
Just hold it, right there!
What do you think you're doing?
You weren't expecting
a delivery, sir?
No, and you don't deliver
with a suction hose, either!
I'm asking you,
what are you doing?
thud
I told the sheriff
everything I know.
I've been sleeping here
every night.
Last night I went home
for dinner. Took a nap.
How much gas they get?
Oh, just about
200 gallons is all.
I got here just about
the time they started.
Look, did you notice anything
special about the truck?
I mean, was the
rear end fire
Well..
..rear end of the truck..
That's the last thing I saw.
No, no fire-blackening.
Just the intake hose dragging.
Spilling gas. My gas.
And a mudguard missing.
Mudguard?
Right
Yeah. Why?
Uh..
In our business,
we call that a clue.
It's not the baby
that hit Steve's car.
thud
The gas fumes!
This car could blow any minute!
Come on. His knees.
Better let 'em
take you to the hospital.
I'm okay.
It was just those gas fumes.
I felt myself passing out,
but, like..
...I was paralyzed,
couldn't help myself.
How's my car?
It's a total loss.
Oh, boy.
I better let 'em
take me to the hospital.
Didn't anybody ever tell you
about carrying gasoline
in your car like that?
Yeah, yeah, sure.
I learned my lesson.
Two hits a night
in a well-defined area
all in county territory
which means
these gasoline bandits
belong to
the sheriff or to us.
I hope you guys don't
let the sheriff beat you to it.
I thought you said
he'd be out for a month.
Well, you know me.
I'm an optimist.
Would you pay attention
to your supervisor?
Hey, watch it, sarge.
You may aggravate
your condition.
'Okay.'
Now, there might be
more trucks involved
'but there's one
we can identify'
'no matter what color it is
or what lettering is on it.'
Chained mudguards.
One missing, one new, both new.
Evidence of front-end damage.
And don't be impressed by
authentic-looking documents.
You want to
take this over, sergeant?
Uh, no, no. I'm-I'm sorry.
I'm sick.
I was thinking, though,
that the, uh
crooks won't hit
the same station twice
but, uh, I'm sure you were
going to point that out.
Thank you.
Concentrate
on the independents.
'Any dealer
who's got plenty of gas'
'is either
a customer of the crooks'
or a guy who's going to get hit
himself pretty soon.
Anything else?
Anybody?
Yeah, they tried to rob
Steve Barr's station last night
and only got 200 gallons.
Now, either today, tonight
or maybe tomorrow morning
one of the customers
is going to be
low on gas or run out of gas.
Fine, Baker. Thank you.
Now for the lighter side.
How many off-duty are going
to the roller hockey match?
Alright, alright.
As your substitute supervisor
we'll all agree on friendly,
fair and understanding.
But at the hockey match,
forget it.
West LA is my team,
and we're going to stomp you.
Come on, give me a break.
That's all. No applause.
That's it.
I, uh, suppose you read
that rule book I gave you.
Yeah. Page 18,
paragraph 2, section 23.
"Any attempt by a coach
"to influence
an official in his favor
"shall result
in forfeit of the game."
- Mm-hmm.
- Poncherello.
- Yeah.
If you're
going to be the referee
I thought you might
want to glance
the rule book
before the match.
Gee, thanks, sarge.
And if during the game
you have any
doubts about a call
just glance over at me.
I'll set you straight, okay?
Yeah, sure.
Randy! Attaboy, Mort!
Alright! Come on, Don.
Good saves, good saves, Ollie!
Alright, let's go, James!
Good luck to you.
Come on, Sean. Let's go, boy!
'Okay, Ray, come on!'
'Come on, now!'
Come on, ref!
Don't miss any calls, Ponch!
- Hey, Ponch.
- Hey! Hi, Grossie.
Hey, you better keep
an eye on that number eight.
'He has a tendency
to high-stick a lot.'
I know that kid. He's the
league's leading scorer.
You know that, huh?
Hey, you coach,
and I'll referee.
I saw you giving
my star player the eye.
I don't want
any favoritism here.
- Hey, go to your bench.
- Listen to me a minute--
No, coach.
Here, you listen to me.
Says so in the rule book.
Let's go, Central! Come on!
Get out there! Come on!
Come on! Play some defense!
- Right! Right! Right!
- Woo-hoo!
Let's go, guys!
Alright!
'Come on! Go get them!'
Hang in there, now!
One minute, guys!
One minute to play!
Come on, now!
One minute! Let's go!
Alright!
Okay! Way to go!
High stick. No goal. No score.
Hey, Ponch, what was that call?
Rule book.
Page nine.
It was a good call.
It was a good call!
His stick was high.
Ponch, come on, wake up.
Beth is here.
Beth is here Where?
Come on, she's going to
open up the station, alright?
Good. I'm awake.
There's a few things
I want to say to her.
Hey, Beth, you know,
it's almost 7 o' clock.
Yeah. Hi. That's when I open.
See the sign?
I asked you what time
to get here
so we could be
at the head of the line
and you said 5:30.
- Right.
- Well, we're here.
Tell me, Beth-how many other
people did you say that to, huh?
I told you, all my friends.
I just don't play favorites.
She made a bad call.
Uh, two coffees, please.
5:30! Fine thing.
Hot dogs, buttered popcorn,
wasted. Wasted!
The stick was high.
They want impartial,
they get impartial.
Thank you.
Look at that line,
two blocks long.
Bad call, partner. 5:30.
I mean, you can't bounce
the puck for a goal, man.
I don't know what
Grossie's so sore about.
I didn't want our kids
to lose, either!
Uh, Ponch, you were right there
on top of the action.
You made the call
you believe in, right?
I mean, that's over.
What Grossie thinks
or what I think
what anybody else
doesn't make
a bit of difference.
- Wrong.
It makes a difference.
'It looks like that guy changes'
'business hours rather quickly.'
'Like, maybe he expected a
delivery that didn't get there.'
It's worth watching.
- Hey-hey, not guilty!
I've been certified to sit
at my desk as of tomorrow
so Dan will be going
back to west LA.
Oh, I hate tearful partings.
About that hockey game
you made a good call
that cost your team
at least a tie.
- You showed me something.
- Hear, hear.
Gee, sarge, I thought you
were going to say something
about accepting the challenge.
What challenge?
Cops against cops, remember?
Your west LA guys
keep yelling, "We won."
They didn't win. The kids won.
They want to win, let them try.
Them against us.
Love it! I love it!
Dan, that's a challenge.
It could get rough.
It might cause hard feelings.
Hey, nobody's going to feel
any worse than I have
since I had to deny
our kids that goal.
If we could be sure
of getting a fair shake.
Well, it depends
on the referee, sarge.
You said you had someone.
If I may..
...when Ponch made that call
and the kids
all know it, Ponch
he proved to me you can't find
a better referee.
Oh, no.
Poncherello said he could
skate my socks off.
If we play...he plays.
Well, then let him pick the ref!
Alright.
If you come up with someone
we can all agree upon..
...we accept the challenge.
You got it!
There you go.
Oh..
...Baker!
'I ran a check on Karl's
U-serve gas station.'
Shady operation.
We put a stakeout on it.
That was nice work.
Sorry we had to miss you
yesterday, Karl.
In the old days, "sorry" would
get you a concrete overcoat.
I'll take it all.
LA 15, special unit one.
I think we've got
a live one at my 10-20.
'Any unit in the vicinity'
'respond to
special unit one's request'
'for backup at Karl's U-serve'
'Dyer Avenue at Florisande.'
Special one, Mary three
and four approaching on Dyer.
Three miles east of you.
Come in on channel two.
Gary, all day yesterday
I was closed.
You didn't deliver,
and you cost me a bundle.
I'm buying you off
at four bits a gallon.
Slim, shut it down.
Seventy cents is the price!
Fifty cents or nothing!
- Slim, shut it down.
'
'Yeah, he's just
shutting it down, that's all.'
- 'Come on, come on.'
- '70 cents is the price, man.'
Four bits is plenty! What the..
Hey, hey, wait a minute,
you guys! Come on!
Special unit one, I think the
tanker's about to leave, Jon.
You better crank it up.
10-4, Sindy.
We'll take the truck.
You take the station.
How much gas did you dump?
Close to 500.
Okay, we got, uh...3500 left.
We'll sell it
at my price tonight.
That rat freak.
Hey. Good luck.
Looks like we've got cops.
Aah!
Get out of here!
'Out!'
Ponch, it's going to blow!
Agh!
- 'It's just my shoulder.'
Let's get out of here.
Aah!
You okay?
Your shoulder alright?
Yeah, it's okay. No problem.
Oh, come on, tell me the truth.
Is the shoulder alright?
You really care,
don't you, huh?
Of course, I care!
You can't swing a hockey stick
with a busted shoulder.
Don't slap it! Don't slap!
Trapped ball, gentlemen.
Let's face it off.
Follow me, please.
Hey, you ain't half bad.
You're pretty good
yourself, ref.
I think he likes
your referee. They all do.
Hey, that's the trouble
with Beth.
She's too impartial.