CHiPs (1977–1983): Season 3, Episode 3 - Valley Go Home! - full transcript
Woo!
How's your tan
coming along, partner?
I'm working on it. I doubt
if I'll ever catch up with you.
Well, just stick
with it, man.
Nobody's perfect.
Oh, thanks.
Yeah, I keep forgetting that.
"valley Go Home."
Hope that welcome mat is
left over from last year.
♪ Dance
♪ Dancin'
around the clock ♪
♪ Dance
♪ Dance
like a spinnin' top.. ♪♪
- Woo-hoo!
- Yeah!
♪ Dance
♪ Dancin'
around the clock ♪♪
Yeah! Get down!
♪ I'm gonna boogie
some more ♪
♪ Dance
♪ Dance like
a spinnin' top ♪
♪ Spin
♪ Dance
♪ Dance can't stand
the shock ♪
♪ Dance
♪ Dancin' will
never stop ♪♪
No way, man.
Watch and learn.
♪ Dance
♪ Dance
like a spinnin' top ♪
♪ Dance
♪ Dancin'
around the clock ♪♪
Nothing to it.
Well, looks like
they're gonna have some fun
getting
outta there.
Ah, who cares, man?
Look at those coyotes.
It's got to be
a valley van.
Awooo!
Hey, come on, you guys.
Pull up and give them some room.
Hey, what's the matter
with you?
Come on. Let's go check out
the afternoon glass.
Looking good, baby.
Looking good.
Hey, wait for me!
Ooh! You see
that guy go under?
Man, a guy could
get killed.
Yeah, It's no great loss, man.
Who needs those guys?
Hey, look at this, man.
What a bummer!
We'll never get
out of here.
Well, it's a popular spot. Maybe
it was the only place left.
Oh, man. Look, there's
lot of spaces left, man.
They just did it
for the grins.
They're those
stupid surfers, man.
They think they own
the whole beach!
What are we
gonna do now?
Just load up and get in,
alright?
Here, Ramon. Start it up.
'Yeah.'
You can't do..
What you gonna do?
Hit it!
Hey!
Come on, Ramon!
Come on! Let's go!
Get out of here, man!
They're coming! Come on!
Hit it!
Darn vals!
Back to the valley,
chumps!
Oh, man!
Hey, come on, man,
let's go teach those vals
to stay where
they belong.
Damn!
Hey, go, man! I think
they're catching up, man!
Hey, man, why don't you just
pull over and talk to them, man?
It was an accident.
You think they're
gonna believe that, huh?
Michael,
slow down.
Go, man!
Yahoo!
Hey, pull over! Pull over!
- Oh, yeah. Sure.
This is all I needed,
a stiff neck
and a-a rolling smorgasbord.
Okay. I'll be
right with you, alright?
What was that guy doing?
I mean, he was on
my side of the road.
LA-15, 7 Mary 3.
Advise West valley to be
on the lookout
for a brown decorated
Chevy van.
Possible 215. Heading east
on Ansenook Canyon road.
How about that?
Those suckers got away.
Never mind them.
You got problems of your own.
Excessive speed..
Around blind curves..
Over the double
yellow line.
Hey, man, they busted out
my headlights!
Doesn't that count
for anything?
No excuse for endangering
lives and property..
...driving like a wild man.
Hey, those valley punks
are always coming over here
and doing stuff
like that.
Can the feud jive, man.
I got a flash for you.
The beach is for everybody.
Yeah. Whatever
you say, sir.
But, you know it's those vals
who've been ripping off
all the tape decks
around here.
Maybe, and maybe not.
You know, you guys got it lucky.
You live out here.
Some people don't
have it so good.
- Ah, now I get it.
- Come on, Jer.
Hey, it's true.
He probably even knows them.
Now, just what exactly are
you gentlemen trying to say?
You know, we know where
you're coming from.
You're just looking
out for your own.
Protecting lives, pal,
yours, theirs, everybody's.
Now, okay, okay.
Hey, listen, next time.
Those vals aren't the only ones
who can understand turf.
The turf you better worry
about is the kind
you could be 6 feet under at
the rate you're going. Here.
Now, you hear me well.
Leave the pursuits to us, and
you cool down that attitude.
You're lucky you're only
gonna be paying fines.
Next time...and if
there is a next time..
...you may all end up in jail.
I don't know what gets
into people out here.
What happens to logic,
courtesy, caution?
Oh, come on. Only a few
of them get outta line.
And you can't blame them
for liking the beach.
Cheap entertainment.
Mostly good, clean fun.
Hey, I don't mind them coming
down here all day long.
What gets me is they all
want to go home at once.
How's it going?
Pretty well, except
we're hearing a lot
of "them" and "us" talk.
You know, like the Beach-valley
feud is heating up again.
Well, that's too bad,
but I can't think
of anybody
better equipped
to handle it
than you guys.
Hey, we're not the UN,
sarge, you know?
No, just cops who
are here to maintain
peace and safety
for everyone, right?
That's one way
to put it.
You may find things
getting a trifle dull.
I'm informed
there's a CB
and tape-deck
rip-off ring
that's mining
the beachgoers.
34 hits
yesterday alone.
'Stuff's showing up
in swap meets'
'all the way from
Oxnard to San Diego.'
We're hoping we can
pinch the fence
before we bust
the source.
Will you keep
your eyes on business?
Never mind
the scenery.
Oh, no, sarge. It's business
first with them.
They care
about our image.
I hope so.
See you later.
Ha ha ha!
Well, thanks for
the warning, officer.
- Uh, no more--
- Failure to signal.
Yeah. Right.
Uh, failure to signal.
Did you say you were
a tennis instructor?
Uh, yeah. Do you play?
Keep a straight line
on your arm. You want to try?
Sure.
This time, I wanna ride,
I want the white one
because the last time,
you took the yellow--
No. I'm sorry about that.
I'm lucky when I get that.
Donna, guess what.
I'm not in the mood for guessing
games, Kris. Stop the car!
I can't! Next time, I'm letting
the garage do my brakes.
Hold on! I'll help you!
What's
your problem?
- No brakes!
- Nothing!
Turn off
the ignition!
Downshift!
Now second!
First!
Put it in first!
Hold it there!
Get back! Get back!
My brakes
failed.
No wonder.
Overloaded, huh?
Thousand pounds or so.
May I see your
driver's license, please?
I'm sorry.
Waiting
for an ambulance
to take a couple of
pretty ladies like you
to emergency...
that's sorry.
It won't happen again,
I promise. Cross my heart.
Me, too.
Nice cats.
They look fast.
Yeah. Super fast.
You sail, too?
Sure.
Speed's only half of it.
Working the wind
is the real charge.
Yeah.
Leaning way out
having the ocean
ripping by...love it.
Don't you love the salt spray
caking your body?
I never get
enough of it.
Well, if you get some time,
why don't you look us up?
When?
I wish it were
right now.
Sorry, right now,
I'm giving you a written warning
for having
defective brakes.
Well..
You can look us up anyhow.
Thank you. I will.
Ought to be easy
to learn.
Oh, no.
I'm so glad
we finally got here.
I thought
we'd never get here.
Boy, the water looks good,
doesn't it?
Hey, let's sit here,
man, huh?
Okay. Right here?
Alright. Somebody want
to give me a hand?
Thanks.
Hey, Lupe.
- Nothing, man.
I'm just checking
things out, you know, man?
Hey, listen,
don't worry about it.
We got as much right to this
beach as anybody else does.
Come on.
Here you go, Lupe!
Alright!
Hey, let's play!
Righteous sets, man!
Whoo!
Yeah. You want to take
a run up the county line?
Yeah.
That'd be cool.
Hey, guess who forgot
the rules again?
Yeah. That's them,
alright.
I guess
now it's our turn.
Ah, you guys, they put down
a lot of money
for this
paint job.
Who cares, man?
They gotta learn sometime.
Hey,
this little picnic isn't gonna
turn out quite
like they expected.
Get ready.
Alright, man.
Do your stuff.
Come on, man.
Let's go.
Okay.
Hey, amigos!
Time to pack it up!
Come on, Dave!
Get in!
Hey, amigos!
Yeah!
Game's over, blondie!
You guys! Wait up!
15 Mary 5 in pursuit,
two reckless vehicles
'northbound PCH
at morning view.'
Okay. Ma'am? Could you take it
left, right away, please?
Thank you very much.
Thank you.
Come on.
Here we go.
Okay. Let's go.
Put your hands where
I can see them. Come on.
Is he alright?
If he wasn't, what good
would it do to ask?
Listen, I'm sorry.
Not half as sorry as
your back pocket's gonna feel.
Hey, man, they thrashed our van!
Why don't you just look at it?
The surfers wanna mix,
we'll mix.
No, you won't. You're gonna cool
it right now, all three of you!
Hey, look who you're talking to,
man. You're one of us!
Hey!
Don't lay that
brother trip on me.
Not in the middle
of this
and not when you almost
got us killed.
But it wasn't our fault!
You know what's
coming down here.
I already told you,
that isn't gonna work.
One more word
out of you
and you're
on your way to jail.
Tape-deck thieves
haven't kept anybody home.
Yeah, well, nobody ever thinks
it's going to happen to them.
Tell me something, Jon.
If you were
gonna rip off
34 tape decks in one day..
...how would you do it?
I guess I'd want a cover
that'd take me anywhere
without anybody stopping to
give me a second thought.
Let me buy you
an ice-cream cone.
Got the munchies, huh?
- Uh, let's see.
How about
two strawberry galacticas?
Two strawberry galacticas,
comin' up.
Oh, there you are.
That'll be a buck.
- Thank you.
- You bet.
The only thing hot there
is the hot fudge...
for the sundaes.
Yep. Nice try.
Not bad, either.
Listen, uh, you know,
a lot of these trucks
work the beach,
you know that?
Hey, Michael, give me the keys.
I'll make a food run.
Why don't you get me
a coke, okay?
- Okay.
Okay, okay.
Everybody gets a coke.
Hey, babe, how about rubbing
some oil on my back, huh?
Okay.
Where do you
want it?
How come you don't
do that to me?
Aw, man. Shoot.
'Hey!'
Hey! We've been
ripped off!
Wow! Look
at that set!
Yeah. Hey, look!
She's got one, man!
Go for it!
- Yeah!
- Alright!
Hey, look at her.
'Whoo! Yeah!'
'Alright!'
'Get down! Whoo!'
Hey, look.
Yeah.
'Looking good.'
Hey! Come on!
They got our boards!
Look out!
Aah! Aah! Aah!
You alright?
Stay there.
Help's on the way.
Take the traffic, Bonnie.
What happened?
The kite.
I couldn't see.
Okay. Just please stay
right here, would you?
Stay right here,
alright?
It wasn't our fault.
These boys running with
surfboards knocked me down.
We did try to grab
the string
but the people chasing them
got in our way.
You mean, uh, one group
was chasing another?
That's right, and when
they heard the crashes
the boys with the boards
dropped them
and the other boys
ran away with them.
The ones with
the surfboards..
...they took off
in a, an old ambulance.
Here you go,
sweetheart.
Uh, we know
those boys.
We're sorry
this happened, alright?
Hey, Baker.
Looks like things
are escalating.
I think it's time
we apply a little diplomacy.
Yeah. We got the day
off tomorrow.
I think it's time
for our summit.
Well, what do we
have this morning?
Tofu frappe
with primary yeast
and two eggs thrown
in for good measure.
Ha ha!
Ahh! I feel a record-breaking
day coming on.
Good. The boys from
Oxnard radioed down.
They can take every unit
we can get our hands on.
Hot dog! There's going to be
a big crop at Zuma today.
Fantastic.
You know, I think we oughta
franchise this cover.
Ha ha ha! Yeah.
"You, too, can make big money
by just blending in."
We ought to advertise,
put it on matchbook covers.
Ha ha ha!
You know, since we
started investigating
your ice cream hunch, I think
I've put on about ten pounds.
I say tomorrow we start checking
out pizza trucks, huh?
Aw, Ponch,
come on. I..
valley people has arrived.
Straight ahead.
Glad you guys came.
You didn't give us
much of a choice.
Hey, you didn't give us
much of a choice, either.
Where are your friends
the, uh, the water babies?
So...we're here.
So, everybody's been
pretty lucky up until now.
But, you know, you guys
can either walk away from this
knowing that everything's
gonna be alright..
...or somebody's gonna
get hurt, and bad.
Now, what's
going on, huh?
- Hey, there's no problem.
Okay, man. What are you
dummying up for?
Yeah, you know,
it insults our intelligence.
Hey, they ripped off
our tape deck, man!
Ah, no way!
These chumps ripped off
our tape deck last week!
That's bull, man!
Hold it, guys.
Hey, I got news for you..
It was a pro outfit.
And frankly, I don't think
you dudes got the talent
to pull off
a marathon job like that.
Okay, man.
I'm going to tell you
in words you can understand.
'It's simple, turf.'
Everybody's got
their turf.
Yeah. You've got yours,
and we got ours.
You're telling me,
you own the whole ocean?
Well, I think
you're crazy, man.
Oh, yeah, man, and you own
the whole valley, right?
Hey, man, we got
some nice railway yards.
Why don't you come on down?
They're making a lot
of progress, huh?
Hmm, yeah,
like a herd of turtles.
Okay, okay, man. Big deal.
Hey, look, you wanna
try a good stick?
It's simple, all you got
to do is get out there
and pretend like you know
what you're doing.
That's what we do.
Hey, all it takes
is a little guts.
Go ahead, man.
We could take care of this
right here and now, you know?
Yeah. Maybe somebody
will break a neck.
Hey, man. Come on.
It's simple.
Yeah. Be my guest.
I guess you could
call that a start
but, uh, they'll probably
try to drown each other.
Hey, hey, hey, Jon.
Lifeguards we're not.
I think we've done all
we could do, alright?
'Hey, guys!'
Ahoy!
Hi! Come on over.
Ooh. See, now it's our turn
to enjoy the beach.
Hey, you guys,
you're just in time.
'Hi! Ha ha ha!'
Ah, man against
the sea. I love it!
Yeah!
Excuse me. Persons
against the sea.
Yeah, I thought sailing would
put man in harmony with nature.
Hey, it's a delicate
balance, Jon.
Oh, just how much sailing
have you done anyway, Ponch?
I don't wanna brag,
but around the marina
they call me
"Captain Courageous."
Yeah. More like Horatio
Hornblower, if you ask me.
- Oh, coming up!
- Hang on!
Whoa!
Ha ha ha!
'Hey, Jon!'
Whoa! Whoa!
Ponch, hang on!
Watch out!
- Whoa!
- Whoa!
Well, I'm famished. Where are
you going to take us, Jon?
Uh, I was just gonna
ask you that.
Oh, listen, there's a great
oyster bar up on the point.
Oh, yeah. Chowder,
clams on the half shell.
Clams on the half shell.
You just read my mind.
Aww, no.
Aww.
Not a mark.
It's our boys.
Yeah. We just became
one of their statistics.
Hang in there,
partner.
I'm not gonna let it
ruin the afternoon.
I'll go down to the restaurant
and make the call
from there, alright?
Jump in.
Alright.
Mmm!
Hey, I lost my CB.
You didn't happen to see
anything
hinky around here, did you?
Oh, gee, Jon, I'm sorry.
I've been back and forth
all morning. Nothing.
Okay. Just keep
your eyes open, alright?
- Sure thing.
- I'll see you tomorrow.
Okay.
Well, well, well.
Lightning does strike twice.
Thanks to insurance.
Thanks a lot, guys.
Every little bit helps.
Don't worry, Jon.
Sooner or later, huh?
Yeah. You keep
saying that.
Well, let's take it
from the top.
We eliminated
the ice cream vendors
and the pizza trucks.
And you forgot about
the smoked-fish truck.
Oh, yeah. What do you think
was in that sauce, huh?
I don't wanna talk
about it, alright?
Alright.
It's just like
those vals, man.
When you want them,
you can't find them.
Oh, come on, man. Maybe the cops
were right. Maybe it isn't them.
It had to be them.
Just when I was beginning
to think they were human.
Ah, be fair, man.
You don't know.
Hey, there
they are, man.
Let's find out.
Hey, you know, that body surfing
that's really great, man.
I think it's time
to get some boards.
Yeah.
I'm up for that.
Maybe Jerry and those guys
will, uh..
...help us pick out
the right sticks, huh.
Sticks?
Hey, you're gaining
on them, man.
Don't let them
get away.
They ain't getting away, man.
The vals are gonna learn.
Hey! We've been
looking for you guys.
Yeah. I'll bet!
Yeah, we wanted to
talk to you
about getting some boards!
Oh, got some money
to spend, huh?
Hey, man, what's the matter
with you guys?
Hey, man, you guys have been
ripping us off twice, man!
Hey, I don't know
what you're talking about!
Pull over! We're going
to see for ourselves!
Hey, the hell you are, man!
You've got us all wrong!
Hey, take a good look
at the ocean, Simon.
It will be your last!
Hey, now, hold on!
Nothing's gonna be
settled down here!
Come on, Mike!
Let's just go to the cops!
I'm doing it my way
now, alright?
We're going to settle this
once and for all.
They're gaining on us!
I can see that!
Hey!
Man, those guys
are crazy!
Let's just get
out of here, Michael!
Hey, come on. Watch it, or
we'll push them over the edge!
They're gonna shove us
off the cliff!
Hey, go faster, Michael!
Just let me do
the driving, alright?
'All units in the vicinity
of North and PCH'
'we have a citizen's report
of an ambulance'
'and a brown van drag racing
on Decker Canyon road.'
'Units responding,
identify.'
Mary 3 and 4
responding.
They're gonna kill us!
'Come on, Jerry.
Catch them. Let's go!'
'I'm trying to get
around the back.'
The car! Aah!
'Oh! Ow!'
Ah! Unh!
Lupe. Come on, Lupe.
Get up.
Come on.
Get up.
Aah! Aah!
My arm! My arm!
- Oh! Oh!
LA 15, 7 Mary 4,
we have an 11-80
on Decker Canyon
two miles North of PCH.
Requesting multiple ambulances
and a fire unit.
Anybody hurt bad?
I'm okay, but I think
they got some broken bones.
My leg! I don't think
I can move it.
Okay. Don't try.
Just lie still, alright?
- I'm okay.
Yeah, yeah.
I think I'm okay.
Man, the car, it must have
rolled three or four times.
I guess we're lucky, huh?
Yeah. Yeah. Real lucky.
How we doing?
I think they learned
their lesson
just a little bit too late.
What do you mean?
Yeah, where are we
gonna go?
Uh, to the hospital.
Oh.
And then to jail.
We got citizens' complaints
that'll guarantee you guys
at least 48 hours
to get acquainted.
Sure is quiet out here.
Hey, we deserve it.
Never get ahead,
do they?
Since when do they
collect trash in a motor home?
When it isn't trash.
Not a bad day's work.
Maybe not.
We got a cop.
Come outta the truck..
with your hands on your head.
Slow! Come on!
Step out here,
please.
Turn around and put
your hands on your head.
Come on.
- There.
What? Aw, come on.
Tell us one, man.
Okay, okay.
There was this guy--
Hey, blondie.
What?
Wait until I get
my arms back.
What for?
Because after
you teach us how to surf..
...we're gonna take
you guys down to Baja.
The waves are nothing
but primo, man.
Alright, man.
That sounds like a plan.
Switch with you?
Hey, look
who's here.
Hey, glad to see everyone's
giving it a chance.
Hey, we breaking
any laws here?
No.
Then what's
the hassle for?
Congratulations, partner.
Hey, uh, if you guys don't mind
we're just trying
to enjoy the beach here.
Ooh. Well, you heard the man.
Which way do you wanna run?
That way or this way?
This way.
Check them out.
'Hey, girls! Hi!'
Come on. You're driving
with me today.
Alright.
Let's give it a shot.
Gotta be safe,
though. Ha ha!
'Okay, Ponch.
Let's do it.'
'You got your jacket on,
Jon? Right.'
Whoo!
'Okay. Just
push it out.'
Whoa! Whoa!
How's your tan
coming along, partner?
I'm working on it. I doubt
if I'll ever catch up with you.
Well, just stick
with it, man.
Nobody's perfect.
Oh, thanks.
Yeah, I keep forgetting that.
"valley Go Home."
Hope that welcome mat is
left over from last year.
♪ Dance
♪ Dancin'
around the clock ♪
♪ Dance
♪ Dance
like a spinnin' top.. ♪♪
- Woo-hoo!
- Yeah!
♪ Dance
♪ Dancin'
around the clock ♪♪
Yeah! Get down!
♪ I'm gonna boogie
some more ♪
♪ Dance
♪ Dance like
a spinnin' top ♪
♪ Spin
♪ Dance
♪ Dance can't stand
the shock ♪
♪ Dance
♪ Dancin' will
never stop ♪♪
No way, man.
Watch and learn.
♪ Dance
♪ Dance
like a spinnin' top ♪
♪ Dance
♪ Dancin'
around the clock ♪♪
Nothing to it.
Well, looks like
they're gonna have some fun
getting
outta there.
Ah, who cares, man?
Look at those coyotes.
It's got to be
a valley van.
Awooo!
Hey, come on, you guys.
Pull up and give them some room.
Hey, what's the matter
with you?
Come on. Let's go check out
the afternoon glass.
Looking good, baby.
Looking good.
Hey, wait for me!
Ooh! You see
that guy go under?
Man, a guy could
get killed.
Yeah, It's no great loss, man.
Who needs those guys?
Hey, look at this, man.
What a bummer!
We'll never get
out of here.
Well, it's a popular spot. Maybe
it was the only place left.
Oh, man. Look, there's
lot of spaces left, man.
They just did it
for the grins.
They're those
stupid surfers, man.
They think they own
the whole beach!
What are we
gonna do now?
Just load up and get in,
alright?
Here, Ramon. Start it up.
'Yeah.'
You can't do..
What you gonna do?
Hit it!
Hey!
Come on, Ramon!
Come on! Let's go!
Get out of here, man!
They're coming! Come on!
Hit it!
Darn vals!
Back to the valley,
chumps!
Oh, man!
Hey, come on, man,
let's go teach those vals
to stay where
they belong.
Damn!
Hey, go, man! I think
they're catching up, man!
Hey, man, why don't you just
pull over and talk to them, man?
It was an accident.
You think they're
gonna believe that, huh?
Michael,
slow down.
Go, man!
Yahoo!
Hey, pull over! Pull over!
- Oh, yeah. Sure.
This is all I needed,
a stiff neck
and a-a rolling smorgasbord.
Okay. I'll be
right with you, alright?
What was that guy doing?
I mean, he was on
my side of the road.
LA-15, 7 Mary 3.
Advise West valley to be
on the lookout
for a brown decorated
Chevy van.
Possible 215. Heading east
on Ansenook Canyon road.
How about that?
Those suckers got away.
Never mind them.
You got problems of your own.
Excessive speed..
Around blind curves..
Over the double
yellow line.
Hey, man, they busted out
my headlights!
Doesn't that count
for anything?
No excuse for endangering
lives and property..
...driving like a wild man.
Hey, those valley punks
are always coming over here
and doing stuff
like that.
Can the feud jive, man.
I got a flash for you.
The beach is for everybody.
Yeah. Whatever
you say, sir.
But, you know it's those vals
who've been ripping off
all the tape decks
around here.
Maybe, and maybe not.
You know, you guys got it lucky.
You live out here.
Some people don't
have it so good.
- Ah, now I get it.
- Come on, Jer.
Hey, it's true.
He probably even knows them.
Now, just what exactly are
you gentlemen trying to say?
You know, we know where
you're coming from.
You're just looking
out for your own.
Protecting lives, pal,
yours, theirs, everybody's.
Now, okay, okay.
Hey, listen, next time.
Those vals aren't the only ones
who can understand turf.
The turf you better worry
about is the kind
you could be 6 feet under at
the rate you're going. Here.
Now, you hear me well.
Leave the pursuits to us, and
you cool down that attitude.
You're lucky you're only
gonna be paying fines.
Next time...and if
there is a next time..
...you may all end up in jail.
I don't know what gets
into people out here.
What happens to logic,
courtesy, caution?
Oh, come on. Only a few
of them get outta line.
And you can't blame them
for liking the beach.
Cheap entertainment.
Mostly good, clean fun.
Hey, I don't mind them coming
down here all day long.
What gets me is they all
want to go home at once.
How's it going?
Pretty well, except
we're hearing a lot
of "them" and "us" talk.
You know, like the Beach-valley
feud is heating up again.
Well, that's too bad,
but I can't think
of anybody
better equipped
to handle it
than you guys.
Hey, we're not the UN,
sarge, you know?
No, just cops who
are here to maintain
peace and safety
for everyone, right?
That's one way
to put it.
You may find things
getting a trifle dull.
I'm informed
there's a CB
and tape-deck
rip-off ring
that's mining
the beachgoers.
34 hits
yesterday alone.
'Stuff's showing up
in swap meets'
'all the way from
Oxnard to San Diego.'
We're hoping we can
pinch the fence
before we bust
the source.
Will you keep
your eyes on business?
Never mind
the scenery.
Oh, no, sarge. It's business
first with them.
They care
about our image.
I hope so.
See you later.
Ha ha ha!
Well, thanks for
the warning, officer.
- Uh, no more--
- Failure to signal.
Yeah. Right.
Uh, failure to signal.
Did you say you were
a tennis instructor?
Uh, yeah. Do you play?
Keep a straight line
on your arm. You want to try?
Sure.
This time, I wanna ride,
I want the white one
because the last time,
you took the yellow--
No. I'm sorry about that.
I'm lucky when I get that.
Donna, guess what.
I'm not in the mood for guessing
games, Kris. Stop the car!
I can't! Next time, I'm letting
the garage do my brakes.
Hold on! I'll help you!
What's
your problem?
- No brakes!
- Nothing!
Turn off
the ignition!
Downshift!
Now second!
First!
Put it in first!
Hold it there!
Get back! Get back!
My brakes
failed.
No wonder.
Overloaded, huh?
Thousand pounds or so.
May I see your
driver's license, please?
I'm sorry.
Waiting
for an ambulance
to take a couple of
pretty ladies like you
to emergency...
that's sorry.
It won't happen again,
I promise. Cross my heart.
Me, too.
Nice cats.
They look fast.
Yeah. Super fast.
You sail, too?
Sure.
Speed's only half of it.
Working the wind
is the real charge.
Yeah.
Leaning way out
having the ocean
ripping by...love it.
Don't you love the salt spray
caking your body?
I never get
enough of it.
Well, if you get some time,
why don't you look us up?
When?
I wish it were
right now.
Sorry, right now,
I'm giving you a written warning
for having
defective brakes.
Well..
You can look us up anyhow.
Thank you. I will.
Ought to be easy
to learn.
Oh, no.
I'm so glad
we finally got here.
I thought
we'd never get here.
Boy, the water looks good,
doesn't it?
Hey, let's sit here,
man, huh?
Okay. Right here?
Alright. Somebody want
to give me a hand?
Thanks.
Hey, Lupe.
- Nothing, man.
I'm just checking
things out, you know, man?
Hey, listen,
don't worry about it.
We got as much right to this
beach as anybody else does.
Come on.
Here you go, Lupe!
Alright!
Hey, let's play!
Righteous sets, man!
Whoo!
Yeah. You want to take
a run up the county line?
Yeah.
That'd be cool.
Hey, guess who forgot
the rules again?
Yeah. That's them,
alright.
I guess
now it's our turn.
Ah, you guys, they put down
a lot of money
for this
paint job.
Who cares, man?
They gotta learn sometime.
Hey,
this little picnic isn't gonna
turn out quite
like they expected.
Get ready.
Alright, man.
Do your stuff.
Come on, man.
Let's go.
Okay.
Hey, amigos!
Time to pack it up!
Come on, Dave!
Get in!
Hey, amigos!
Yeah!
Game's over, blondie!
You guys! Wait up!
15 Mary 5 in pursuit,
two reckless vehicles
'northbound PCH
at morning view.'
Okay. Ma'am? Could you take it
left, right away, please?
Thank you very much.
Thank you.
Come on.
Here we go.
Okay. Let's go.
Put your hands where
I can see them. Come on.
Is he alright?
If he wasn't, what good
would it do to ask?
Listen, I'm sorry.
Not half as sorry as
your back pocket's gonna feel.
Hey, man, they thrashed our van!
Why don't you just look at it?
The surfers wanna mix,
we'll mix.
No, you won't. You're gonna cool
it right now, all three of you!
Hey, look who you're talking to,
man. You're one of us!
Hey!
Don't lay that
brother trip on me.
Not in the middle
of this
and not when you almost
got us killed.
But it wasn't our fault!
You know what's
coming down here.
I already told you,
that isn't gonna work.
One more word
out of you
and you're
on your way to jail.
Tape-deck thieves
haven't kept anybody home.
Yeah, well, nobody ever thinks
it's going to happen to them.
Tell me something, Jon.
If you were
gonna rip off
34 tape decks in one day..
...how would you do it?
I guess I'd want a cover
that'd take me anywhere
without anybody stopping to
give me a second thought.
Let me buy you
an ice-cream cone.
Got the munchies, huh?
- Uh, let's see.
How about
two strawberry galacticas?
Two strawberry galacticas,
comin' up.
Oh, there you are.
That'll be a buck.
- Thank you.
- You bet.
The only thing hot there
is the hot fudge...
for the sundaes.
Yep. Nice try.
Not bad, either.
Listen, uh, you know,
a lot of these trucks
work the beach,
you know that?
Hey, Michael, give me the keys.
I'll make a food run.
Why don't you get me
a coke, okay?
- Okay.
Okay, okay.
Everybody gets a coke.
Hey, babe, how about rubbing
some oil on my back, huh?
Okay.
Where do you
want it?
How come you don't
do that to me?
Aw, man. Shoot.
'Hey!'
Hey! We've been
ripped off!
Wow! Look
at that set!
Yeah. Hey, look!
She's got one, man!
Go for it!
- Yeah!
- Alright!
Hey, look at her.
'Whoo! Yeah!'
'Alright!'
'Get down! Whoo!'
Hey, look.
Yeah.
'Looking good.'
Hey! Come on!
They got our boards!
Look out!
Aah! Aah! Aah!
You alright?
Stay there.
Help's on the way.
Take the traffic, Bonnie.
What happened?
The kite.
I couldn't see.
Okay. Just please stay
right here, would you?
Stay right here,
alright?
It wasn't our fault.
These boys running with
surfboards knocked me down.
We did try to grab
the string
but the people chasing them
got in our way.
You mean, uh, one group
was chasing another?
That's right, and when
they heard the crashes
the boys with the boards
dropped them
and the other boys
ran away with them.
The ones with
the surfboards..
...they took off
in a, an old ambulance.
Here you go,
sweetheart.
Uh, we know
those boys.
We're sorry
this happened, alright?
Hey, Baker.
Looks like things
are escalating.
I think it's time
we apply a little diplomacy.
Yeah. We got the day
off tomorrow.
I think it's time
for our summit.
Well, what do we
have this morning?
Tofu frappe
with primary yeast
and two eggs thrown
in for good measure.
Ha ha!
Ahh! I feel a record-breaking
day coming on.
Good. The boys from
Oxnard radioed down.
They can take every unit
we can get our hands on.
Hot dog! There's going to be
a big crop at Zuma today.
Fantastic.
You know, I think we oughta
franchise this cover.
Ha ha ha! Yeah.
"You, too, can make big money
by just blending in."
We ought to advertise,
put it on matchbook covers.
Ha ha ha!
You know, since we
started investigating
your ice cream hunch, I think
I've put on about ten pounds.
I say tomorrow we start checking
out pizza trucks, huh?
Aw, Ponch,
come on. I..
valley people has arrived.
Straight ahead.
Glad you guys came.
You didn't give us
much of a choice.
Hey, you didn't give us
much of a choice, either.
Where are your friends
the, uh, the water babies?
So...we're here.
So, everybody's been
pretty lucky up until now.
But, you know, you guys
can either walk away from this
knowing that everything's
gonna be alright..
...or somebody's gonna
get hurt, and bad.
Now, what's
going on, huh?
- Hey, there's no problem.
Okay, man. What are you
dummying up for?
Yeah, you know,
it insults our intelligence.
Hey, they ripped off
our tape deck, man!
Ah, no way!
These chumps ripped off
our tape deck last week!
That's bull, man!
Hold it, guys.
Hey, I got news for you..
It was a pro outfit.
And frankly, I don't think
you dudes got the talent
to pull off
a marathon job like that.
Okay, man.
I'm going to tell you
in words you can understand.
'It's simple, turf.'
Everybody's got
their turf.
Yeah. You've got yours,
and we got ours.
You're telling me,
you own the whole ocean?
Well, I think
you're crazy, man.
Oh, yeah, man, and you own
the whole valley, right?
Hey, man, we got
some nice railway yards.
Why don't you come on down?
They're making a lot
of progress, huh?
Hmm, yeah,
like a herd of turtles.
Okay, okay, man. Big deal.
Hey, look, you wanna
try a good stick?
It's simple, all you got
to do is get out there
and pretend like you know
what you're doing.
That's what we do.
Hey, all it takes
is a little guts.
Go ahead, man.
We could take care of this
right here and now, you know?
Yeah. Maybe somebody
will break a neck.
Hey, man. Come on.
It's simple.
Yeah. Be my guest.
I guess you could
call that a start
but, uh, they'll probably
try to drown each other.
Hey, hey, hey, Jon.
Lifeguards we're not.
I think we've done all
we could do, alright?
'Hey, guys!'
Ahoy!
Hi! Come on over.
Ooh. See, now it's our turn
to enjoy the beach.
Hey, you guys,
you're just in time.
'Hi! Ha ha ha!'
Ah, man against
the sea. I love it!
Yeah!
Excuse me. Persons
against the sea.
Yeah, I thought sailing would
put man in harmony with nature.
Hey, it's a delicate
balance, Jon.
Oh, just how much sailing
have you done anyway, Ponch?
I don't wanna brag,
but around the marina
they call me
"Captain Courageous."
Yeah. More like Horatio
Hornblower, if you ask me.
- Oh, coming up!
- Hang on!
Whoa!
Ha ha ha!
'Hey, Jon!'
Whoa! Whoa!
Ponch, hang on!
Watch out!
- Whoa!
- Whoa!
Well, I'm famished. Where are
you going to take us, Jon?
Uh, I was just gonna
ask you that.
Oh, listen, there's a great
oyster bar up on the point.
Oh, yeah. Chowder,
clams on the half shell.
Clams on the half shell.
You just read my mind.
Aww, no.
Aww.
Not a mark.
It's our boys.
Yeah. We just became
one of their statistics.
Hang in there,
partner.
I'm not gonna let it
ruin the afternoon.
I'll go down to the restaurant
and make the call
from there, alright?
Jump in.
Alright.
Mmm!
Hey, I lost my CB.
You didn't happen to see
anything
hinky around here, did you?
Oh, gee, Jon, I'm sorry.
I've been back and forth
all morning. Nothing.
Okay. Just keep
your eyes open, alright?
- Sure thing.
- I'll see you tomorrow.
Okay.
Well, well, well.
Lightning does strike twice.
Thanks to insurance.
Thanks a lot, guys.
Every little bit helps.
Don't worry, Jon.
Sooner or later, huh?
Yeah. You keep
saying that.
Well, let's take it
from the top.
We eliminated
the ice cream vendors
and the pizza trucks.
And you forgot about
the smoked-fish truck.
Oh, yeah. What do you think
was in that sauce, huh?
I don't wanna talk
about it, alright?
Alright.
It's just like
those vals, man.
When you want them,
you can't find them.
Oh, come on, man. Maybe the cops
were right. Maybe it isn't them.
It had to be them.
Just when I was beginning
to think they were human.
Ah, be fair, man.
You don't know.
Hey, there
they are, man.
Let's find out.
Hey, you know, that body surfing
that's really great, man.
I think it's time
to get some boards.
Yeah.
I'm up for that.
Maybe Jerry and those guys
will, uh..
...help us pick out
the right sticks, huh.
Sticks?
Hey, you're gaining
on them, man.
Don't let them
get away.
They ain't getting away, man.
The vals are gonna learn.
Hey! We've been
looking for you guys.
Yeah. I'll bet!
Yeah, we wanted to
talk to you
about getting some boards!
Oh, got some money
to spend, huh?
Hey, man, what's the matter
with you guys?
Hey, man, you guys have been
ripping us off twice, man!
Hey, I don't know
what you're talking about!
Pull over! We're going
to see for ourselves!
Hey, the hell you are, man!
You've got us all wrong!
Hey, take a good look
at the ocean, Simon.
It will be your last!
Hey, now, hold on!
Nothing's gonna be
settled down here!
Come on, Mike!
Let's just go to the cops!
I'm doing it my way
now, alright?
We're going to settle this
once and for all.
They're gaining on us!
I can see that!
Hey!
Man, those guys
are crazy!
Let's just get
out of here, Michael!
Hey, come on. Watch it, or
we'll push them over the edge!
They're gonna shove us
off the cliff!
Hey, go faster, Michael!
Just let me do
the driving, alright?
'All units in the vicinity
of North and PCH'
'we have a citizen's report
of an ambulance'
'and a brown van drag racing
on Decker Canyon road.'
'Units responding,
identify.'
Mary 3 and 4
responding.
They're gonna kill us!
'Come on, Jerry.
Catch them. Let's go!'
'I'm trying to get
around the back.'
The car! Aah!
'Oh! Ow!'
Ah! Unh!
Lupe. Come on, Lupe.
Get up.
Come on.
Get up.
Aah! Aah!
My arm! My arm!
- Oh! Oh!
LA 15, 7 Mary 4,
we have an 11-80
on Decker Canyon
two miles North of PCH.
Requesting multiple ambulances
and a fire unit.
Anybody hurt bad?
I'm okay, but I think
they got some broken bones.
My leg! I don't think
I can move it.
Okay. Don't try.
Just lie still, alright?
- I'm okay.
Yeah, yeah.
I think I'm okay.
Man, the car, it must have
rolled three or four times.
I guess we're lucky, huh?
Yeah. Yeah. Real lucky.
How we doing?
I think they learned
their lesson
just a little bit too late.
What do you mean?
Yeah, where are we
gonna go?
Uh, to the hospital.
Oh.
And then to jail.
We got citizens' complaints
that'll guarantee you guys
at least 48 hours
to get acquainted.
Sure is quiet out here.
Hey, we deserve it.
Never get ahead,
do they?
Since when do they
collect trash in a motor home?
When it isn't trash.
Not a bad day's work.
Maybe not.
We got a cop.
Come outta the truck..
with your hands on your head.
Slow! Come on!
Step out here,
please.
Turn around and put
your hands on your head.
Come on.
- There.
What? Aw, come on.
Tell us one, man.
Okay, okay.
There was this guy--
Hey, blondie.
What?
Wait until I get
my arms back.
What for?
Because after
you teach us how to surf..
...we're gonna take
you guys down to Baja.
The waves are nothing
but primo, man.
Alright, man.
That sounds like a plan.
Switch with you?
Hey, look
who's here.
Hey, glad to see everyone's
giving it a chance.
Hey, we breaking
any laws here?
No.
Then what's
the hassle for?
Congratulations, partner.
Hey, uh, if you guys don't mind
we're just trying
to enjoy the beach here.
Ooh. Well, you heard the man.
Which way do you wanna run?
That way or this way?
This way.
Check them out.
'Hey, girls! Hi!'
Come on. You're driving
with me today.
Alright.
Let's give it a shot.
Gotta be safe,
though. Ha ha!
'Okay, Ponch.
Let's do it.'
'You got your jacket on,
Jon? Right.'
Whoo!
'Okay. Just
push it out.'
Whoa! Whoa!