CHiPs (1977–1983): Season 2, Episode 5 - Neighborhood Watch - full transcript

The sergeant's gonna be mad.

Should have been back
on our beat 10 minutes ago.

It's not my fault, Jon.

Anybody who tries to buy
Dodger tickets during lunch hour...

- ought to have his helmet refitted.
- I didn't think we'd have trouble.

You know, uniform and everything, I
thought I could just step in and get them.

Nobody cuts in on a line on
Dodger fans, uniform or not.

So I found out.

Come on, I know a shortcut.

This is a shortcut?

It's not really a shortcut.
How should I put it?



Tell me.

Well, every time I'm in this neighborhood,
I always seem to take this street.

Wait up, just wait up.
Come on. Let's go. Let's go.

Come on.

Come on, come on, come on.

What time is it, 10:30, 10:30.

Lunch by 11:30.

Back by 12, probably by 12:30.

All right.

Did I see that?

What are you, crazy?

Don't do that in the street!

You're lucky it wasn't your
head. What's your name?

Brian Caldera, 81522
Burlingame Boulevard, 555-3978.



Do you think we could
keep this from my folks?

A phone call about illegal skateboarding
is a lot easier on your folks...

than some of the
calls I have to make.

- What do you mean?
- You know what I mean.

Listen, pal, let's keep
it right from now on.

Yes, sir.

There's my ride now, can I go?

- You going to the beach, huh?
- Yeah.

Okay...

but save the
hot-dogging for the water.

Thank you.

All right, all right, all right,
come on. Let's get it over with.

It's not that same cop again.

- Not you again. What is this, a new beat?
- Just passing through.

Looks like it's your lucky day, Mr. Billings.
May I see your driver's license?

Sure. Did you...?

Did you see that crazy kid back
there? He almost cost me my insurance.

You were speeding.

Oh, no, wait a second, I
was very much under the limit.

Not for shaving.

Shaving?

What are you talking
about shaving?

Oh, wow. That is incredible.

Look, I'm in a big hurry. Some of us
do have to work for a living, you know.

You were driving at speed
unsafe for the condition.

Like trying to drive while
you're trying to shave.

What a crock.

You know where to sign.

Am I...?

Am I free to go now?

Yep, that covers it for now.

Can I have my license, please?

Don't I know him?

Yeah, we've nailed him before.
He's got a record that won't quit.

Uh-oh.

I can't believe this place.

Run me some interference.

Pull over!

Hey, slow down and stop!

I can't!

The key, the key! Turn it off!

Brian, my good
friend, we meet again.

Who are your partners?

- Scott.
- I'm Donnie, she's Robin.

They made me come.

Liar.

All right, knock it off.
Whose car is this?

My mom's.

Well, does your mother know
about the safari to the beach?

I left her a note.

The radio said, "Radical
tides and rowdy surf."

Oh, well, that's different.
Now I understand.

- No you don't.
- Hey, watch the noise.

You kids think you know
everything, don't you?

Well, I've hit the
waves occasionally...

and I ripped up a lot of
pavements on my skateboard.

Listen, I'll make the call.

I suppose this means
we don't get to go.

Not today, my darling.

Not for a long,
long time, I'll bet.

You're breaking my
heart, you know that?

This is your 180 release, and all
you gotta do is take it to the yard.

And how much was
that amount, please?

Twenty-two fifty, made
out to the towing company.

- So that about wraps it up.
- Thank you very much, officer.

You know, it was the
fastest I'd ever been.

Brand-new asphalt on Temescal
Canyon. I was going 35, maybe 40.

Then, death-wobble.

It was a clean break.

Goodbye, allowance.

Correct.

Scott, Officer Poncherello
is trying to be nice...

and he meets a lot of
people who aren't nice.

Briefing, everybody. Let's go.

What were you guys
doing on San Vicente today?

- Well, it wasn't a lunch break.
- Too bad.

Lots of secretaries
out jogging at lunch.

Okay, let's sit down.

You guys must be psychic. You
know those joggers you're talking about?

They don't like
to stop for lights.

And kids in that neighborhood
think the streets were made to play in.

Tell us about it.

Well, you all know
the stats in that area.

We're moving in with
double shifts, high saturation.

Let's try and slow them
down. You know what I mean.

Sure, speed trap.

No, Frank, high visibility.

Besides, a neighborhood watch
will be a nice change for you...

instead of the freeways.

Ten percent of
2570, plus bonus...

Must have been
a good one, Gerry.

Better than that.

Hey, congratulations.

Well, I haven't quite closed
the deal yet, but it's almost there.

I should know any time now.

I left your number with
my answering service.

All right, I'm rooting
for you, Gerry.

Thank you.

Come on, deal.

Everybody's onto us.

Talk about high saturation.
Getraer wasn't kidding.

Tough work, being
a motor officer.

Looks like a woman in really good
shape might be able to handle that.

Yes indeed, we are
stationary at the moment.

- Catch you next break.
- You're on.

Come on, let's
get highly visible.

Yeah, let's do that.

Yeah, he's here. Just a second.

Gerry, telephone. I think it's
the call you've been waiting for.

Yes, hello. Speaking.

Sure. Well...

if that option isn't
acceptable, I...

Yeah, I'll get back
to you next month.

Yeah.

Hey, is everything all right?

All wrong. I blew it.

Oh, Gerry, I'm sorry.

Well, I guess it's...

time to refinance.

Hey, how about some coffee?

No, no time.

No time.

Units in the vicinity of
19000 Armado Boulevard...

report to an altercation between
a motorist and a tow-truck driver.

L.A. 15, 7 Mary 3 and 4, we'll handle,
responding from Armado and Dayton.

Ten-four, 7 Mary 3 and 4.

Come on, you're only begging,
you're begging for trouble, mister.

Be sensible, take it
up with the department.

I've been doing that for 60 days, and I
got an airplane to catch in 60 minutes.

Look, maybe we can figure this thing out if
you ride with me down to the impound lot.

Will you just unlock the car?

You wanna tow the
car to the impound lot?

You unlock it.

Hey, no, wait. Hey, mister,
wait. Hey, don't! Come on!

Hey, don't do that! Come on!

- What are you doing?
- Burning my car.

- Burning your car?
- It's my car, there's the papers to prove it.

See? It's on my property,
and I am burning it.

- Well, that's crazy.
- Oh, you wanna know crazy?

I bought it for cash
from a guy back east.

I can't get it registered,
because I don't have the pink slip.

I got a permit that's expired,
and they won't renew it.

I gotta catch a plane,
the car won't start...

and he's here to impound it...

because the department
won't let me register it...

because the guy won't
send me the pink slip.

Now, you tell me what's crazy!

Burning your car is crazy.

Well, it's worthless now.

I'll tell you what, I'm gonna
give you 50 bucks for it, for junk.

Hold it, it's worth more
than 50. I'll give you 55.

- Sixty.
- Sixty-two.

Do I hear 65?

- How much you got?
- I'll tell you what.

- I'm gonna make it an even 100.
- Cash now?

- Give me 15 minutes, I'll be back with it.
- No, cash. Now.

- I only got 70 bucks on me.
- Seventy once, seventy twice...

Eighty-three!

Sold.

I'll go get my book.

Oh, what am I
gonna cite him for?

Burning my car without a permit.

Jon, look out!

- Okay?
- Yeah.

This time I'm putting
that guy off the road.

- Pull over!
- I don't believe it.

Step out of the car, please.

Well, now, isn't this a pleasant surprise.
You just move into the neighborhood?

Step out of the car, please.

Yes sir.

- Step to the rear of the car.
- Pardon me?

Step to the rear of the car.

Listen, step up on the sidewalk. I'm
gonna give you a Field Sobriety Test.

I'm not gonna do anything.

- All right, all right.
- You're under arrest for drunk driving.

Take it easy.

- Wanna run through the alphabet?
- Wait a second.

You're not gonna pull that drinking
routine, because I'm not drunk.

Let's just say my nose
gave me probable cause.

The way you were driving
makes it a good case.

- It's not gonna stick.
- Well, we'll just let the chemical test say.

I'm not taking it.

You kidding? I mean, if you refuse, that's
six months without a driver's license.

Oh, come on.

Yeah, I know, I keep hearing about
all the juice you have, now use it.

That harassment complaint
should be worth something now.

This case cannot
go before a judge.

All right, all right.
Call me tomorrow.

Hi, Honey.

No, no, everything's fine, but look, don't
hold dinner for me tonight, all right?

I'm late-nighting it.

Yeah, inventory hassles.

She did, huh?

Well, you give her a big kiss for me
and tell her daddy will see her tomorrow.

Oh, I'd rather be with you too.

All right, I'll... I'll see
you when I get in.

Goodbye.

Listen, I know I'm not your
favorite person right now...

but I heard you talking to your
wife, and if you have a family...

Save it. I don't
want to hear about it.

Well, then, just see it.

I mean, it's people like your own family that
get hurt when guys like you are on the road.

That's your story.

Let's go.

That's some loud thinking
you're doing there, boy.

Yeah, well, people like Billings
really put me in a bad place.

Thanks a lot for saving my life.

Just doing my job.

I think we better have another
talk with the younger set.

I'm afraid so.

- Where are you going?
- See you later, don't tell my mom.

This cuts it for you, Scott!

Ah!

Ah!

Ah!

It's all right.

You live a pretty
charmed life, my dear.

Come on.

There you go.

- Gonna be all right?
- Yeah, I'm fine.

Okay.

- You gonna take us downtown?
- No.

- You gonna tell our parents?
- Uh-huh.

Hey, Jon, these
beauties are really hot.

It's a laminated board, low profile trucks.
The wheels are express, the fastest.

Very hot.

I'm impressed.

Next time we have to snarf you guys up,
you're gonna be in it up to your pockets.

Now take a hike
home, on your feet.

- Hey, what's up?
- Hey, guys.

"You are assigned to washing
detail for unassigned motorcycles."

A lot of good that will do.

Yeah, but until tomorrow morning, I
can pretend I didn't get it, so let's go.

I was gonna put this in your box, but since
I see you, I'll deliver it personally.

Category 2 complaint against
Officer Jon Baker by Gerald Billings.

What's he complaining about?

He tried to run me down today.
I booked him for drunk-driving.

"Speed unsafe for
conditions: Shaving"?

- Yeah, well, we've met before.
- He's met a lot of us.

Oh, really. Listen to this.

"Officer Baker discharged his
authority with unprofessional demeanor."

Knows all the right words.

"Officer's attitude was cocky,
antagonistic and Gestapo-like."

Nasty, nasty.

Yeah, well, I knew what I
was doing every second.

I was in complete
charge of myself.

I read you, Jon.
Put it all down here.

- Triplicate?
- Mm-hm.

- My desk, Monday morning.
- Scratch one good evening.

Well, there is a bright note. Your
slowdown duty may be ending soon.

- Yeah, well, not soon enough.
- Poncherello, this was in the wrong box.

Ooh.

What's that?

- Too close, Brian.
- That wasn't close.

The next pass is gonna be close.

Why don't you put in a call?

Why don't you put in the call? I'm not going
to tell anybody we're being pinned down...

Being pinned down
by a toy airplane.

I can't wait for the peace
and quiet of the freeway.

Officers working the neighborhood
watch slowdown campaign, hang in there.

The stats are down for
the first time in months.

If you're gonna be off your beats,
keep the breaks to 10 minutes.

Okay, that's all.
Hit the streets.

- Coffee, buddy?
- Yep.

- You buying?
- Sure.

What about me?

Hey, next time you're pinned down
by enemy aircraft, give us a call.

- By all means.
- Yeah, call us, we'd be glad to back you up.

- Right. GETRAER: Jon,
can I speak to you a minute?

You know the guy who
clipped you? Billings?

Yeah, what's up?

Kiss your arrest goodbye.
They're gonna cop him for reckless.

Oh, no way.

Look, I've seen a lot of cases
like this go down the tubes...

- and this one is headed in that direction.
- Not this one.

Jon, ease off.

Look, it's out of our hands.

Besides, there are lots
more like him out there.

Yeah, that's
what it's all about.

One more pass-through
and then let's check in.

Good enough.

Land sakes, are
you all right, child?

I think so.

You're going to pay for this. You're
gonna pay for all this, do you hear?

What's your name?

It's not all his fault.

Stay out of this, lady, I'll take care of
it. What's your name? What's your name?

What's your name?

Hey, just a minute, now. Listen.

It's against the law for me to do that, so I
know it's against the law for you to do it.

This has happened before. I
want that kid's parents' name.

- Okay, we'll take care of it, all right?
- You bet you will.

Let's go, right away.

Right here.

Now, did I tell you just
to hear myself talk? No.

I told you yard rats
to lay low for a while.

It was an accident.

I don't care. No more breaks.

Now you stay here,
and don't move.

- He's blown his stack.
- Well, I had it with those kids, you know.

Yeah, but he's
breathing fire for justice.

Listen, we get
off in 10 minutes.

Well, it's all over now.

L.A. 15, 7 Mary 4,
Contact 7 Charles...

have her 11-98 at Alma Real Drive
and La Cruz Drive for transportation.

Ten-four, 7 Mary 4.

Okay, come on.

Yeah, this way, this time
you're gonna learn something.

It was about time
something like this was done.

In.

Okay, listen, this is
what we're gonna do.

Okay, we'll see you there later.

What a wipeout.

This isn't what it's like
when people go to jail on TV.

What are we doing?

We're waiting.

I'm waiting, and
you're waiting. So wait.

Okay, ladies and gentlemen,
the master's arrived.

- All right, everybody out.
- What's going on?

- Come on. Come here, you.
- What are we doing here? What are you...?

- What's going on? What is this?
- Just come over here.

- What's going on?
- Yeah, that's what I wanna know.

You'll find out.

All right, everybody, listen!

We called your parents.

Hey, hey, come on now.

Your folks and all of us care
about you. We want you to be safe.

They also agreed we could
do what we want with you.

What may that be?

What may that be is, we're
gonna show you how it's done.

- What?
- What?

Huh?

All right, here we go.
Put your helmet on.

Let's go.

Helmet on, there you go.

Helmet on, let's go.

Helmet on. Helmet on.

You guys ready?

- All right, come on.
- All right, come on.

We'll show you how.

I might be a
little slow at this.

Hey, hey, it's the
style that counts.

This ought to be good.

Bravo.

- How did you like that?
- Not bad.

Hey, that's pretty
trick, partner.

Not bad, huh?

All right, all right, you think you're
so great? Let's do some downhill stuff.

All right, let's try
some downhill stuff.

- Yeah!
- All right, Ponch!

See, all it takes is
a little concentration.

Not bad.

Well, this is the last day
of neighborhood watch.

How do you feel?

I'll tell you, I'm kind of itching
for a long piece of freeway.

I know what you mean,
I know what you mean.

What did you say?

Risk? It's an opportunity. Every
unit's top of the line, are you kidding?

Besides, I've gotta
get rid of this junk.

Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

Just write up the date, yeah.

Sure.

All units in vicinity of Sunset
and Mandeville, possible injury.

Hit and run, ambulance rolling.

L.A. 15, 7 Mary 3 and 4, rolling
from Sunset and Brooktree.

Ten-four, 7 Mary 3 and 4.

All right, folks,
get back, okay?

Just lie still, sir.
Don't move, all right?

See who did it?

That's his car.

- And he ran that way.
- All right, put your head back.

It was Billings.
He's been drinking.

He'll use a stolen car alibi.

He'll make it back
home and call it in stolen.

Not if I get there first.

Taxi!

Hey, Billings! Hold it!

L.A. 15, 7 Mary 3, 10-97,
3rd and Idaho, a 2001 suspect.

7 Mary 3, 10-97,
with a 2001 suspect.

Get back! Get back!
Leave me alone!

Leave me alone.

Listen, you can't run anymore.

I'm telling you, just...

- Leave me alone.
- Hey, wait a minute, man.

Hey, listen, don't panic.

I'm just so tired of
running. Will you just...?

Please, help me.
Please, help me. Please.

All right.

Hi. Thought you guys would like
to know that jogger hit-run victim...

- is gonna be all right.
- Hey, that's great. Makes your day.

- Yeah.
- Hey, Poncherello.

There's a kid on the phone here, wants
to know if you can tail-tap the high ramp.

Oh, sure. GETRAER: Hey, Frank.

Frank, what is
tail-tapping the high ramp?

Oh, I'll show you.

It's like doing
a 180 in mid-air.

Frank, that's a 360.

Yeah?

Well, that's even harder.