CHiPs (1977–1983): Season 1, Episode 4 - Moving Violation - full transcript

[theme music]

[music continues]

Hey, Ponch.

Hey, Ponch!
Don't take it so hard.

What? Oh, I'm sorry.

Look, Getraer comes down
on everybody once in a while.

Yeah, but sometimes I think

I should have been
a plumber or a TV repairman.

Ah, you're just in a slump.

You'll get your
activity together.

I hope so.



Before Getraer decides to put me

on permanent probation.

Hey, do you know how
much a plumber makes?

[engine sputtering overhead]

Sounds like he needs a tune-up.

Yeah, I hope that's all.

[sputtering continues]

[sputtering continues]

Hey, you thinking
what I'm thinking?

Right.

[engine sputtering]

Hold it up there,
Buick! Hold up!

[sputtering continues]

Slow down
and stay behind us!



Stay behind us!

[sputtering continues]

Here he comes!

Jon, look! The red car!

Yeah, it's gonna be tight.

[engine revving]

[engine sputtering]

[sputtering continues]

[tires screeching]

[sputtering continues]

Come on. Come on,
you can do it!

[wheels screeching]

That's it, baby!

[instrumental music]

[theme music]

Okay, let's move.

Fall in with the flow.

Hey, mister, you alright?

[Frank]
'Hey, you okay?'

[intense music]

[grunts]

[sighs]
I think so.

Oh, I'm so embarrassed.
Please get me out of here.

Oh, yes, yes. It's okay.

Just take it easy now.

Easy. Just take it easy.

I don't believe it.

My first solo flight,
and I run out of gas.

You saved my life.
I thought it was all over.

It's alright now.

It could've
happened to anybody.

I'm so sorry.
I'm really sorry, officer.

I mean, I shouldn't have
been up in this stupid plane.

I-I'm sorry I caused
all of this trouble.

- Relax
- I wish..

Please, just take it easy.
There's no citation.

Hey, you're
really terrific.

Well, it's
just my nature.

I bet you're a very
important man on the force.

I mean, I mean,
you're so professional.

Uh, are you a lieutenant?

Well, not exactly.
But I'm working on--

I know,
you're a sergeant.

- Well, I'm afraid--
- Hey, how is she?

Ah, she's fine.

Baricza and Fritz, uh,
they took care of the snarl.

And I put out a Sig-Alert.
The paramedics are here.

Is he one of your men?

Oh-oh, yes, uh

'he works with me,
and, uh, he does a fine job.'

This is, uh,
Officer Jon Baker.

You can advise Central that,
uh, everything's under control.

Oh. Uh, yes, sir.

Um, as I was
saying, why don't--

Um, I'm feeling
a little weak.

Uh, maybe we could talk
about this over dinner?

Hey, that's a good idea.

[theme music]

[music continues]

Boy, you're
really something.

I mean, what are you gonna
be next week, a captain?

Depends on the girl.

[music continues]

[woman on radio]
'Attention, all units.'

'Be on the lookout for
an all-white 1965 bus'

'with lettering
on the rear reading'

"First Baptist Church."

'Vehicle is a stolen
out of Wilshire division.'

[Frank]
Hey, that's the one down
the street from Central.

Who'd want to steal
that old wreck?

[Jon]
You got me,
the last time I saw it

the wheels were
ready to fall off.

[Frank]
I bet old Rev. Goldstein's so
mad he's talking to the devil.

[Jon laughing]

Hey, Ponch.

That's it. That's it!
The stolen bus.

- I don't believe it.
- Yeah.

A whole half
a block from Central.

Not exactly a hot roller.

[engine revving]

[indistinct chattering on radio]

This is amazing.
We never found a stolen--

We? Well, what do you have,
a mouse in your pocket?

Partner, good
friend, old buddy.

This is what I needed.
That slump in my activity?

'I'm saved!'

Ponch, look,
technically, I have--

I'll write all reports today.

- Tomorrow?
- The rest of the week.

It's yours.

I think I'll
call for backup.

Spice things up
a little for Getraer.

Put out a code 20, maybe
get a news team out here.

Hey, Ponch, how about
just calling it in, okay?

Okay, thanks.

LA 15, 7 Mary 4

I have located the stolen
bus on Oak Street

just South of
Washington Boulevard.

Vehicle is abandoned.

[woman on radio]
'10-4, 7 Mary 4.'

I think I'll give
the old man at the bus stop

a check and see
if he's seen anything.

Hey, did you
see a bus go by?

No.

Oh, well,
finding that bus

is gonna make
Getraer a happy man.

Hmm.

And me a hero.

[instrumental music]

Close.

[instrumental music]

[music continues]

- Hi, sarge.
- Uh, hi, Frank.

- 'How's it going?'
- 'Great, sarge.'

[Getraer]
Glad to...hear it. Oh-h-h..

Um, I'll have the report on
that bus in about five minutes.

Good. Good.

Hey, quick energy.

Yeah, and indigestion.

[Frank]
'Something you wanna tell me?'

Oh! Oh, yeah, Frank.

Rev. Goldstein
wanted me to..

...express to you
his appreciation

for your speedy
recovery of the bus.

I gotta admit, Frank.

I'm surprised it
was you and not Jon.

Well, hey, uh, we all
have our days, you know.

Yeah.

And I bet you're probably sorry

for the way you came
down on me this morning.

Yeah, Frank, I am.

Um, I know how you could
make it up to me, sarge.

How, Frank?

It's yours.

[laughing]

[instrumental music]

"Francis Poncherello

California Highway
Patrol officer."

Officer?

I thought you were a sergeant.

Well, not exactly.
Actually, you were--

You led me to believe
you were a sergeant.

- Well, what's the difference?
- Forget it.

I can't believe I am going
to a restaurant in a camper.

We are going to
a restaurant, aren't we?

Yeah. And a good one too.

And everybody knows..

...this is a motor
home, not a camper.

Could have fooled me.

Looks more like a locker room.

Yeah, I know. But I'm
really into sports, alright?

Well, I wish you were
really into driving

'cause you just changed
lanes without signaling.

- No, I didn't.
- Yes, you did.

- 'No, I didn't!'
- Yes, you did.

[siren wailing]

Not only are you
a lousy driver

'but you'll probably
just flash your badge'

'and get out of
paying the ticket.'

I won't need to

because I did not
break the law.

[screeching]

[sighs]

- Good evening, officer.
- Good evening.

Sir, you made an unsafe
lane change back there.

Uh, excuse me, officer, I think
you're mistaken. You see, I--

May I see your driver's license
and registration, please?

But you can't.
Uh, you can't, officer.

You see, I checked
the traffic. I was--

Yes, sir. You forgot
your directional.

I told you so.

[male #1]
'Now if you'll just sign here.'

Signing is not
an admission of guilt

but only your promise
to appear in court.

I know. I know.

[sighs]

Please drive safely, sir.

And, uh, watch yourself

merging back into traffic.

[instrumental music]

Oh, Getraer will kill me

when he finds out.

Who's Getraer?

He's the sergeant.

[music continues]

Hey, this
is a switch.

You getting
here before me.

Oh, that's right, you
got the afternoon off.

Comp time. You wanna
get an early start?

No. I couldn't sleep
last night. I got a--

Oh, yeah, how was your date?

She could have kept that plane
in the air with her mouth.

It works at 6,000 RPMs.

- I'm sorry, Ponch.
- 'Hey, Jon.'

Is there something wrong
with the way I live?

What do you mean?
Why do you say that?

Well, you're never in
trouble...and I always am.

Hey, come on. You were
the one that found the bus.

That was yesterday.
You see, I got a..

[engine revving]

I don't believe it.

[engine revving]

Oh, she's gonna skin
me alive for sure.

I've been late since
the day I was born.

[engine revving]

LA 7, Mary 3 and 4,
we are now in pursuit.

Uh, eastbound on
the Pomona Freeway.

[engine revving]

[tires screeching]

[engine revving]

Oh, CHiPs. Man.

I know that I'm gonna be late
now. I'm gonna be real late now.

'No, I ain't gonna stop.'

Come on, baby,
give it to me now.

You got to give it to me now.

You have got to go!

[engine revving]

Gonna lose my license for sure.

The judge told me don't
come down there no more.

All them tickets. Why did
I get all those tickets?

[clanging]

Oh, no! Oh, no!

They got me now.

No more drivin',
no more license.

I'm sorry, little
car, but I am mad.

[grunting]

[tires screeching]

Broke my car. Gonna get another
ticket. Mama's gonna kill me.

- Excuse me, sir.
- I've had it!

You mind stepping
out of the car?

Step out?

[grunting]

[thudding]

[man grunts]

I am really mad.

Mama would've said, "Don't
be mad." But I'm mad anyway.

May I see your driver's license

and registration, please?

Lose my temper, lose
my license. Same game.

Driver's license
and registration?

Told mama I was gonna
be home for dinner.

Now here I'm out here
stopped on a highway

trying to...mess around..

What am I gonna do?

I don't know
what I'm gonna do.

'Messing around with
you...all the time!'

Just messing around. God!

What's that yo-you
think he's doing?

[honking]

[glass shattering]

I think we got
a 51-50, Ponch.

[screaming]

[grunting]

[chuckles]
Yeah. He's about
three quarts low.

[laughing]

You think he heard
what I called him?

[grunting]

[clattering]

[grunting]

[honking]

[screaming]

I wanna know how
he got in that car.

I don't know. I wish he'd
just get back in there.

[grunting]

[clanging]

[Frank]
'Oh, boy.'

[clanging]

[man grunting]

I'll call for backup.

- Hey, why? We don't need it.
- Are you crazy?

That guy could wipe
out the front line

of the Dallas Cowboys.

We need all
the backup we can get.

Ponch, there's no law against

destroying your own property.

'The only thing we have
him for is speeding'

'and, uh, maybe littering.'

[grunting]

[indistinct chattering on radio]

Here, hold this a minute.

[grunting]

[man screaming]

I got something in my eye.

Get it out, partner. I don't
wanna stand here by myself.

You, uh, find
this amusing?

Who, me? Oh, no.

Not at all, sir.

You got something
for me to sign?

Uh, yes, sir, uh..

...just sign at the bottom
here in the box

and we won't detain
you any longer, sir.

[indistinct chattering on radio]

Thank you.

[instrumental music]

This one's for mama.

This one's for the judge!

[thud]

Mama.

Judge. No license.

Hey, he's got your pen.

Yeah, well, uh,
pens are replaceable.

[chuckling]

Now what am I gonna tell mama?

Better call Einhorn Tow.

Yeah. Tell them
to bring a shovel.

[laughing]

LA 15, 7 Mary 3..

[instrumental music]

There's nowhere like
the Mexican Alps

for this kind of food.

Yeah. Look, Jon, I gotta
talk to you about--

Darn it, I told her
to hold the secret sauce.

I think I'm in big trouble.
I got this--

I always wonder why
they call this sauce a secret.

[sighs]
I made this unsafe
lane change.

'A 2-15, me.'

It's no secret to me, man.
This is 20 weight motor oil.

Getraer will kill me
if he finds out.

This is it. I'm taking it back.
This is not what I asked for.

Will you listen to me?

I got a ticket last night!

Uh, Ponch,
that's not very cool.

No kidding, cisco.

What am I gonna do?

I don't know.
I'll work it out.

What? How?

Go to driving school.

Yeah, come on.

That way the ticket
doesn't go on your record

and Getraer doesn't
find out about it.

Driving school?
Are you crazy?

People I ticket go there.

And what's more,
the instructors

'are CHP retired officers.'

- Getraer knows them all.
- I'll tell you what.

For the price of another
burrito, I can work it out.

Okay.

Why don't you run down
to the store and ask--

[male #2]
'Hey, one of you guys
Officer Baker?'

[Jon]
'What?'

- Officer Baker.
- Yeah, why?

You got a phone call.

Okay.

Uh..

Sorry about that.

- Yeah.
- Thank you.

Hey, this is Baker.

What?

Okay.

I got it.

I'm sorry, Jon

but you're the best man
for these calls.

Yeah, I understand.

Okay.

Thank you.

What's the matter?

Oh, uh, accident call.

Hey, you can handle that.

Yeah.

[instrumental music]

[music continues]

[doorbell dings]

Now you finish your sandwich.

Okay.

Hello, Mrs..

- Mrs. Karantz?
- Yes.

May we come in?

Yes.

Is something wrong?

Sarah?

Uh, my name is Jon Baker.

I'm, uh, from the
California Highway Patrol.

And, uh, I brought
your neighbor over here

because I have something
important to talk to you about.

Perhaps we could
sit down somewhere.

Oh, sure.

Thank you.

Now, w-what's wrong?

I mean, there's
something wrong.

It's Jerry.
My husband, Jerry.

There's been an accident
this morning in Bakersfield.

Oh, my God.

Involving three people,
including your husband.

I'm afraid your husband--

Well, is he alright?
I-I mean, is he hurt?

Badly?

He died on the way
to the hospital.

[intense music]

No.

No. It can't be.

I asked Mrs. Wilner
to contact your doctor

'and tell him to come over.'

If there's anything else
we can do--

But he-- Uh--

We-we just spoke
last night.

Are you sure it was Jerry?

'Are you?'

Ma'am, I wish there was
some way that..

...or something that..

Daddy, daddy!

[music continues]

[dramatic music]

[music continues]

Excuse me.

Quiet down, please.

Now, the film tonight
is on intersections

and right-of-way collisions.

Now pay attention, please.

Because there'll be
a quiz following.

[clicks]

Hey, what are you
in here for?

Unsafe lane change.

I'm in for a 21-8-0-5C.

A what?

That means riding my horse
on the freeway.

- That's not so bad.
- 'Oh, I know that.'

But then I got cited
for a 23-1-1-2B.

- Right on the freeway?
- 'That's right.'

'My horse wouldn't wait till
I got back to the stable.'

Now that's bad.

You know, that's what
the motorcycle cop said.

Well, hey, you can't blame him.
Being on a bike and all.

Oh, come on.
What are you?

Some kind of cop lover
or somethin'?

- Oh, no. No.
- Hmm.

I can't stand them myself. Ugh.

[engine revving]

[indistinct chatter on radio]

How did the accident call go?

Ah, pretty rough, Ponch.

You know, I hate those things.

By the way, uh, how was your
first night in driving school?

Just like I expected. Lousy.

Cops are at the top
of everybody's hate list

in that bunch,
you know that?

Yeah? Anyone recognize you?

No, I don't think so.

What'd I tell you?
The kid's pure genius.

The plan was fail-safe, right?

Huh?

[laughing]

[male #3]
Hey, officers.

How do I get to Newhall?

Pardon?

[engine revving]

[engine starts]

[sirens wailing]

Everything okay?

I'm okay.

But I'll never see
Newhall today.

[instrumental music]

LA-15, 7-Mary-3 and 4,
in pursuit of a blue Dodge van.

Northbound, Old Mill Road,
one mile north of Golden State.

Give me a 28, 29
on a 106 late Lincoln.

[woman on radio]
'10-4 Golden State units,
7-Mary-3 and 4 are in pursuit.'

[music continues]

[police siren wailing]

[tires screeching]

[siren wailing continues]

LA-15, 7-Mar-3 and 4,
pursuit is now eastbound

Cuddy Canyon
approaching San Fernando.

[instrumental music]

[music continues]

[engine revving]

[music continues]

[tires screeching]

[metal clangs]

[male #4]
'Help!'

'Help me! Somebody help me!'

'Get me out of here! Please!'

'Get me out!'

'Get me out of here!'

'Please help me!
Get me out!'

[snake rattling]

[Frank]
'Did he get you?'

I think he just got my boot.

Help! Hey, get me
out of here!

I'll check him.

Help! Help me!
Get me out, please!

Get me out of here,
please.

- Help me. Get me out.
- Just hang in there.

Just hang in there, alright?
Just lay quiet.

We'll get you
in a minute.

Alright. Well, we gotta figure
some way here, Ponch.

- Alright.
- Just don't move.

- Try not to get too excited.
- 'Please hurry.'

Hang on.

[snakes rattling]

Hey, Fritz, put out
a Code 4 and roll 11-41.

'And grab the fire
extinguishers.'

'CO2 will lower the body temp.'

That way they can't move.
And bring some crowbars!

Hey, get me out of here!
Please help me!

[Frank]
'Baricza, you help Fritz.'

Alright.

- I can't get this thing--
- Ambulance is rolling.

[Jon]
Okay. Break out
the rest of the windshield

and get ready
to pull him out.

[glass shattering]

[instrumental music]

Okay, guys, let's listen up.

Uh, headquarters is planning
a special enforcement program

to help reduce accidents
caused by drunk driving.

Now, this study is focusing
here in the LA area.

And to facilitate the program

they've implemented
an overtime allotment.

How could someone steal
such a big bus?

Why would someone steal
a bus from church?

- We'll find out.
- But Joe will find my bus.

Uh, one last thing.

The Ventura Freeway
from Van Nuys to Coldwater

is, uh, under construction
and will--

Come on in, uh, reverend.

Yeah, what's the matter,
reverend?

Joe, they do it again.
Not 20 minutes ago.

One minute the bus
is there, and then, poof!

Okay, slow down.
Who is they?

How should I know?
Do I look like a policeman?

Please, put out
a "Calling all cars"

or something.

Hunter, put it on the air.

Right, sarge.

Look, uh, we'll take care
of it, reverend.

You go back to your church.

We'll call you when
we get the bus, alright?

Oh, thank you, Joe.

And, uh, God bless.
And you too, fellas.

Okay, guys.

Let's get with it, huh?

We're beginning
to look ridiculous.

'That bus just lives
next door.'

The thieves probably came by

and gave us a little beep
on their horn.

Let's get to it.

[instrumental music]

[indistinct chatter]

Hey, uh, don't worry, sarge.

I found it once,
I'll find it again.

Yeah, Frank.

[instrumental music]

You know, I still can't
figure out who'd want that bus.

Would you believe someone
that doesn't wanna go

over five miles per hour?

[chuckles]

15-7-Mary-3 or 4,
5-David, bye.

David-5,
go ahead to 7-Mary-4.

I'm following
your 10-8-51 bus

'eastbound on
the Angeles Crest Highway'

'near Foothill Drive.'

10-4.
Our ETA is about five.

I don't really think
you have to hurry.

[engine revving]

[instrumental music]

Hey, Fritz, looks
like you get a gold star.

I thought Ponch saw it first.

I heard your activity was low.

Hey, thanks!
I owe ya!

A real bunch of killers.
Who are they?

You got me.

Nice to see you again, sir.

Uh, did you give up
on public transportation?

Don't you know
you shouldn't talk to somebody

when they're driving?
It's dangerous.

- You ought to know that.
- Yes, sir, I do.

That's why I'd like
you to pull over.

Okay, but I want you
to know, young man

I could outrun you
if I wasn't on this hill.

Right.

Over there on that shoulder,
uh, that'll be fine.

[woman on radio]
'Santa Monica units'

'stalled vehicle in the number
one, westbound at Vermont.'

[banging on door]

Ladies and gentlemen, would you
all please step off the bus?

- Take it easy now, ma'am.
- Here you go.

My wrists are kind of delicate.

You got any padded handcuffs?

- I-I'll check my saddlebags.
- Thank you.

This way, please.

[indistinct chatter]

Son, tomorrow is our
golden wedding anniversary.

Would it be alright
if we shared a cell?

Uh, we'll see what
we can arrange, okay?

- Thank you.
- Alright.

Hey, this way.

Ah...come here, partner.

We wanna talk to you.

This bus doesn't
belong to you.

You know that,
don't you?

Yeah, we stole it.

Why would you want to do
a thing like that?

Well, we just got
tired of waiting.

'You see, the church has been
promising a picnic all summer.'

Never got around to it,
so we...figured

we'd take it ourselves.

Yeah, well,
that's breaking the law.

[female #1]
'It's moving!'

Somebody help us!

'Somebody help us!'

Oh, now we're alright.

[indistinct chatter]

[gear grinding]

Jon, I think Ponch
is in trouble.

Yeah.

[intense music]

We're not stopping!

Can't-can't you
stop the bus?

[Frank]
'No.'

[Harold]
'Oh.'

The brakes are out!
Hold on!

[both whimpering]

[instrumental music]

'Oh! Look back!'

Alright, partner!

[siren wailing]

[tires screeching]

[grinding]

[male #5]
'Can't stop it?'

[siren wailing]

[Jon]
'Get out of the way!'

[indistinct chatter]

Move it over!

Move!

Get them over!

Keep it over!

The one in the truck,
pull over!

[indistinct chatter]

Come on, Ponch.

[female #1]
'Help! Help! Help us.'

[both whimpering]

[siren wailing]

'Help us!'

'What are we gonna do?'

[screams]

Median!

Attaboy. Come on, Ponch.

Put it in that gravel.

[sighs]

[panting]

Harold, let's go
and thank the young man.

Oh, yeah.

[engine revving]

Oh, you saved our lives.

Oh, sonny, you are
a darn good driver.

- Come on, honey.
- I'll say..

- Let's get over here.
- Phew!

I'm just glad you went
to driving school.

[laughs]

Hey, wow, man,
you've grown a beard.

It's hereditary.

Hey, that's heavy.

Yeah.

I'm gonna graduate
at the top of the class.

And it was all your idea.

I can't thank you
enough, partner.

I'm glad you came.

[dramatic music]

I had to come here
or lose my license.

Cops.

Boy, I hate cops.

Say...have we met?

- Who, me?
- Yeah.

Uh, no, I don't think
we've had the pleasure.

Say, brother,
haven't we met?

[French accent]
Oh, no, monsieur.

Never.

[instrumental music]

[music continues]

[music continues]