CHiPs (1977–1983): Season 1, Episode 3 - Dog Gone - full transcript
It's puppy love at the Highway Patrol when Ponch and Jon conspire to keep a dog they rescued a secret from Sgt. Getraer. A young punk and his pals plot to sabotage Ponch's bike, but make a big mistake.
I got him scoped.
He's in the number three.
Fast bugger.
He's in the number two now.
Okay, let's collar him.
Watch out, Ponch, watch out.
Come here.
'Watch yourself,
watch yourself.'
'Come on.'
Careful, little one.
'That's a good boy.'
Okay, come on. Come on.
Hurry up, come on. Here, boy.
'Okay, hurry over. Come on,
come on. Attaboy, come on.'
That's a good boy.
Come on. Come on.
'No, no, no! Wait, wait, wait.'
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
'Come on, come on.'
'Attaboy..'
Come here.
I got him.
I got him. I got him.
Hey, what was that?
Come on.
Wait, wait.
Now I know why I liked turtles
when I was a kid.
Hold it right here
a minute, okay?
LA-7-Mary-3
looks like
we have a five car 11-82
on Southbound Harbor Freeway
at, uh, Vernon off-ramp.
'7-Mary-LA, 10-4 .'
Alright. Now, move out very
slowly. Now, be careful.
Look what you
did to my fender, man.
Please, fellas,
I'm upset enough as it is.
Who's the man said
he was upset.
Hey, I'll handle the crash.
You put on your brakes first!
It's not my fault.
Okay, gentlemen,
let's break it up.
Hey, man, lighten up. Hey.
You back off, Chippie.
It's between me and him.
Hey, I said, cool it.
Bring it through.
Take it easy.
Did your mouth
come with the badge?
Hey, man, don't get
thick with me
or you're gonna be
kissing the concrete.
Think you can
handle a little 11-84?
Lay back, Boots.
You're talking to the man.
You got a little problem
here, Ponch?
No, there's no problem here.
Is that right, Boots?
No, man.
But nobody shuts me down
and gets away with it.
You dig?
Look, this could be
a real problem for you.
You want to end it here
or you wanna take it further?
Listen, did you happen
to see what happened, sir?
Well, I came
off the freeway and the..
...cars in front were slamming
on their brakes for...him.
Hey, oh!
Hey, got you this time.
- Isn't he cute?
- Yeah, and a troublemaker.
It's the animal shelter for him.
Uh, wait a minute, Ponch.
Look, he-he has a cut paw.
Come here, partner.
We got procedure, partner.
The animal shelter.
Some little girl
or boy will come along
see the dog, fall in love,
and give it a good home.
That's right, but first
we take it to the vet.
That way, a healthy dog
gets a good home faster.
- Alright there?
- Procedure, Jon.
You know how Getraer
feels about procedure.
W-wait a minute.
You're telling me procedure?
There's Baricza. I'll have him
take care of it, okay?
Okay, partner. I'll take care
of the TC reports.
- Hey, how do you rate a mascot?
- Ah, I guess I'm just lucky.
Listen, uh, Bar, would you..
Look at you.
- Bar.
- Yeah?
Would you like to do me a favor?
Sure.
Hey, what's that dog
doin' here?
'Baker?'
Would you mind coming
over here a minute, please?
Since when do you have a dog
brought back to headquarters?
Well, uh, see,
it's this way, sarge.
I went to the--
No, no.
It's this way.
It's against procedure.
Now, if it was that partner
of yours, I could understand.
'But you?'
Listen, the dog cut his paw
and needed medical attention.
We got the vet right down
the street, so I figured, hey..
...the least we can do
is have the little dog's
wound fixed, huh?
Okay. You want
to play humanitarian? Fine.
But as soon as that vet
is finished with him
you know where he goes.
Oh, you got it, sarge.
Yeah, right.
Sorry, Jon. Here.
He jumped out of the car
right in front of Getraer.
That's okay.
You should have listened
to your partner..
...partner.
Man, the look on your face when
Getraer called you on procedure.
I thought you were gonna
pop a vein.
Hey, the kid's not used
to it, Ponch. What can I say?
Well, welcome to the club,
old buddy.
He's mine, babe!
Not till I'm finished with him.
Hey, pull it over.
Hey, pull it over!
Hey, what's with this guy?
Looks like a freeze up,
panic city.
Beautiful.
Now what do we do?
'You try to kick it out of gear'
and I'll try to
turn off the kill switch.
Jon, look! A jam up.
Clear!
Okay.
Jon, hit the brakes easy now.
Ponch, look out!
Alright, easy now.
Let's ease him over.
Okay, I got the stand down.
Ease him over.
Okay.
Hey. Snap out of it.
It's okay now.
Nobody told me.
They should have told me.
It's alright, just relax.
Now, take a deep breath.
You'll be alright.
'They should have told me.'
- Hey.
- I don't understand.
I practiced for a week.
I thought I was ready
for the freeway.
- Come on.
- Nobody told me.
Step off, now.
Loosen up, come on.
You're alright now.
That's it. Alright.
Come on backwards.
You got your, uh, class four
license and registration?
- Class? Class four, yes.
- Alright.
Right here. I've got it.
- New bike, huh?
- Twenty five hundred bucks.
- What happened to you?
- I'm not sure.
All I-all I remember is
I got on the freeway
into all that traffic
and then I couldn't think,
I couldn't move.
- It was a bummer.
- Are you feeling okay now?
Oh, yeah. I think so.
Listen, the off-ramp's
just up ahead.
You think you can handle it?
Uh. if you like,
we'll escort you over.
No, no. I've had it.
- Uh, I'm gonna walk.
- Hey, wait a minute.
Hey, you get bucked off a horse,
you get back on.
- Now, just go over and--
- No, no way. No.
Huh?
- Hey, where you going?
- Home.
What about the bike?
You can have it.
I never wanna see it again.
People should've told me.
'No one told me
I was gonna do this.'
I'm gonna drive on a freeway.
Take me through all these cars.
Tried to kill me.
Never told me.
Baker.
The vet says
he's ready to travel.
- Oh, huh, okay, sarge.
- Come on.
- Huh?
- Come on, take him.
He's all yours.
Okay, just a minute.
- Come on, Baker.
- Okay, okay.
Take him to the shelter
where he belongs.
- What's the problem?
- Nothing, nothing.
And you better go
with him, Poncherello
just in case he gets
any more of his ideas.
No problem, sarge.
I know it's
no problem, Poncherello.
You're on my time
for another half-hour.
That's why I said,
it's no problem.
- Hey, Boots, that's him.
- Yeah.
One more I thing.
Here's the bill from the vet.
Okay, little fella.
You comfortable now?
There, that's a good baby, yeah.
Feeling a lot better, huh?
Hey, I didn't know
you were such a dog lover.
Hey, I'm not. I just wanna help
the little guy out, alright?
Yeah, well, it's shelter time.
I'll take care of him
on the way home.
Hey, you heard what Getraer
said. He said you gotta take--
Hey, hey, hey.
I'll take care of it, okay?
Okay.
Ponchereeny, that's the dude
I'm gonna put on the shelf.
Yeah.
Okay, get down in there.
That's a boy.
You okay?
Hey, Boots. You sure
you wanna go through with this?
You want me to pull over
and let you off?
- Yeah, you wanna get out?
- Hey, no. Hey, come on--
Just cool it.
Just-just relax, both of ya.
Hey, Boots, which one of 'em's
the loudmouth, huh?
The one on the left.
Hey, come on. Step on it, man.
We're gonna lose 'em.
Okay, okay.
Okay, I'll catch
you later, Ponch.
Hey, look at him.
Hey, there, little fellow.
How you doing?
You alright, huh?
I better check this out,
just in case.
You wait in here for me, okay?
There you go. Wait here.
Hey, what are you doing, huh?
We're gonna have to come
to an understanding
if you're gonna
stay around here.
Oh, let's see here.
There we go.
I'll get you out, huh?
Okay, man.
Let's get it on.
Hi, Jon.
Where'd you get the puppy?
Oh, hey, how you doing?
Real good.
- A little mail there, huh?
- Mm-hmm.
'See you later.'
Hi, Jon. A new friend?
Huh?
Here we go.
Easy now.
Hey.
Remember, no barking, okay?
Hey, hey, hey.
Come on, come on, come on.
No, no, no. No bark, yeah.
Shh! Hey, hey, t-that's
a good boy, that's a good boy.
Shh. Shh. Look at me.
There we go now, listen.
Here, here, here.
Come on, here. Come on. At least
bark to the beat, come on.
Hey, wait. Uh..
A-are you hungry?
You want something to eat?
Hey, come on.
I got you a little of this.
Here we go-ho-ho-ho!
Here. Hey, come on.
Hey, hey, hey.
Come on. Come on.
You'll like this,
fella, come on.
Come on, there you go.
This kid's alright. Come on,
get it, good boy. Good boy.
Come on.
Come on. The kid eats this.
Come on. Come on.
Take a little bite.
Alright.
Hey, come on, Boots.
That ought to do it.
In a minute, man.
Officer Poochereeny
deserves the best.
Yeah, Boots, you gonna
fix him up good one.
'Come on, man. Let's split.'
Okay, pal. That's it.
'Six minutes fifty seconds left
in the first half..'
Yeah? Who is it?
It's, uh, me, Jon.
Anybody with you?
- No.
- Door's open.
'Chased out of the pocket.
Throws. Intercepted..'
'No! On third and two
you don't pass!'
'Beautiful.
Another interception.'
Hey!
'Now, New York will take over,
first and ten on the forty..'
- What's this?
- Oh, isn't he as cute as ever?
Yeah, especially with that cute,
little chocolate moustache
that used to be my ding-dong.
'Yeah, but I'll tell you
something, Ponch.'
He'll make a good watchdog.
Especially for someone
way out here in the boonies.
Hey, he doesn't
recognize me. Hi.
Hey, come here, boy.
Come on, come on.
Yeah, well, maybe
you should put some, uh..
Put your helmet on.
There we go. Come here.
Come here, boy. Come on.
- Come here, boy.
- Hey.
Hey.
See what did I tell ya, huh?
He loves ya.
Oh, I'll tell ya,
he'd make a good companion, boy.
Especially for someone..
Look how he kisses you.
You're way out here in the
boonies, nobody to talk to.
The cold winter nights,
anyway, you think.
And I'll tell you
something else.
Girls, oh, do they love him.
- Hey. Hey, Jon. Oh, no. No!
- Girls love him!
Stay here,
I'll be right back.
Hey, Jon!
That's a 647A, Ponch.
Indecent exposure.
You're not gonna get away
with this! You hear me?
'...obvious passing situation,
back to the ball..'
Hey, how'd it go last night?
- Oh, you mean with the dog?
- Yeah.
- Okay.
- Hey. Listen, I'm sorry--
Hey, hey, partner. No big thing.
Don't worry about it. It's okay.
Hey, Ponch. Hey, you're not
just saying that, are you?
Nah, don't worry about it,
partner. Hi. Hi.
Hey, what is he doing here?
Well, I couldn't
leave him locked up all day.
He'd get lonesome.
You know, Getraer is gonna
have your head. I mean, he's..
What am I saying?
He's gonna have my head too.
Good boy. Good boy.
Daddy's back.
Daddy?
Hey, Ponch, you know,
you had a good idea.
Why don't we take
the dog to the animal shelter?
What you talking about?
You wanted me to take
the dog, right?
So I took him.
Right, Fido, huh?
Fido?
Well, I had to give him a name.
Oh, yeah, Fido. That's, uh,
that's real catchy.
What are you
gonna do with Fido
when you're out
on the beat every day?
Oh, we figured it out, you see,
what we're gonna do is..
Oh!
Get outta here.
Fido, you get in here, huh?
Go over there now.
Now, stay there. Stay there.
Fido.
Um. How's it going, sarge?
Very slowly, Poncherello,
if you're any indication
You're supposed to be
on your beat, remember?
Hey, we were just leaving,
right, Jon?
Yeah, right.
Yeah, well,
I'm glad to hear it.
Oh, great.
Now what are we gonna do?
Hey, don't worry.
Baricza will find us.
That's them.
Hey, do we gotta
follow 'em so close?
I wanna be there when
the bigmouth hits the pavement.
Yeah, me too.
Hey, partner,
we got company.
Yeah, same yo-yos as yesterday.
Yeah, and I don't think
it's coincidence.
He's gonna get it.
So much for coincidence.
Well, if it isn't
Officer Poochereeny.
Small world, eh, officer?
The three of you mind steppin'
out of the vehicle, please?
Sure thing.
Right over here.
Let me see your driver's license
and registration, please.
Sure thing, man.
But I ain't done nothing wrong.
Have I, guys?
Hey, man. We're cool.
Right, Boots?
Your driver's license
and registration.
Well, Albert,
why were you following us?
The name's Boots, man.
Why were you following us?
I don't know
what you're talking about.
'Oh, Ponch.'
What's the problem, Jon?
Got an illegal headlamp here.
Oh, I see.
Hey, boys, these tires
are too wide for these fenders.
How about the exhaust system?
Hey, that's not legal either.
Hey, what are you guys
talking about?
Sorry, Albert,
but we're gonna have
to write those mechanicals
in the interest
of your own safety, of course.
And also in the interest
of your own safety
we're gonna have to stop these
coincidental chance meetings.
Is that clear?
Pull it over! Right now!
Pull it over!
No, my husband's
had a heart attack.
I've gotta get him
to the hospital.
Pull it over!
My husband's had a heart attack,
I gotta get him to the hospital.
It's alright, ma'am. We'll get
an ambulance right away.
No. There's no time.
Fifteen, 7-Mary-3 and 4
in pursuit of a vehicle
with possible
heart attack victim.
'Dispatch rescue unit
to location'
'estimated to be northbound
San Diego Freeway'
one mile north of Victory.
'All units LA,
7-Mary-3 and 4 in..'
'One mile north of Victory.
A possible heart attack.'
Pull it over and I mean now!
What is the matter with you?
I told you my husband
is having a heart attack.
So get away from me!
What are you doing?
Fifteen, 7-Mary-4, a 10-97
on Roscoe at the San Diego.
'7-Mary-4, 10-97 on Roscoe--'
I told you to take
your hands off him!
You're gonna kill him!
Full arrest. Let's ease him out.
I've gotta get him
to the hospital, please.
Take your hands off of him!
'Oh, no. No.'
One, two, three, four
'five.'
'One, two'
three, four, five.
One, two, three
four, five.
'One, two'
three, four, five.
'Come on, come on.'
I got a little carotid pulse.
Three, four, five.
'Three, four, five.'
- 'One, two.'
- Oh.
- Three, four, five.
- What do you got?
He's cyanotic
but we've raised a pulse.
'Okay, we got it.
I'll take him.'
'SC General,
this is Squad 508.'
'We have a man
in respiratory arrest.'
I want your names
and I want your badge numbers.
- Look, ma'am--
- Don't you "ma'am" me!
I have every right to report you
after jeopardizing
my husband's life, now get them.
Listen, ma'am,
in all due respect to you
the way you were driving
you were jeopardizing
not only your own life,
your husband's life
and everybody else around you.
I had to get my husband
to Valley Presbyterian Hospital.
What is the matter with you?
You should really be glad
we stopped you, ma'am.
Why?
Well, because you took
the wrong off-ramp.
Valley Presbyterian Hospital
is near Sherman Way.
Oh, God.
It's alright.
I mean, I'm very,
very sorry. I'm just..
- Crazy.
- It's alright.
Those gentlemen will take care
of your husband, okay?
- Thank you.
- Excuse us.
Thank you, officers.
I'm really..
Is everything alright?
Yeah, it's a code four, bear.
Hey, uh, guys, there's a little
matter I wanna discuss with you.
- Is it a gray and white matter?
- Yeah. With ears and a tail.
I told you he'd find us.
'Hey, Fido!'
'Good boy, good boy.
That's a boy.'
- 'Can I help you?'
- Yeah.
I'd like to see the officer
in charge. It's real important.
May I ask what this pertains to?
Hey, come on, man.
I gotta see the guy in charge.
Okay.
- Sarge, you got a minute?
- Uh, yeah.
This young man, uh,
would like to speak to you.
Alright. Wanna sit down?
- My name's Zero.
- Yeah?
I mean, Denton. Oswald Denton.
'And, uh..'
I got two friends,
Boots and Little John.
And sometimes
they do heavy things.
You know what I'm saying?
Excuse me.
Getraer here. Sacramento?
Yeah, put him on.
Yeah, captain?
Yes, thank you.
'What directive is that, sir?'
You sure Getraer didn't see
you put Fido in Judy's camper?
I hope he didn't.
Yeah, well, I pray he didn't.
I'll have it in
the mail first thing tonight.
Right, bye.
Ah, okay, uh,
now, what were you saying?
Yeah, well, uh, yesterday,
Boots got into this wreck
that messed up
his wheels, and, uh..
H-he got really burned.
'Attention, all units.'
'LASO reports
a 211 armed robbery.'
'Occurred about five ago.'
'Suspect is driving
a light blue Plymouth Fury'
'and was last observed
traveling westbound on 6th.'
'Suspect is armed
and considered dangerous.'
I guess he's picking up
the Harbor south.
Yeah. Either that
or the Hollywood north.
Let's pull over there and watch.
Yeah. Well, uh,
see, Boots got into it
pretty good with your
Officer Ponche-Ponchenelly
- 'Ponch--'
- Poncherello.
Yeah, that figures.
Anyway..
..Boots..
I mean...
he don't like to be put down.
'LA 15 7-David,
in pursuit of 211 suspects.'
'Hollywood Freeway northbound
from the four level.'
Request units to assist
in felony stop.
'All units, LA 7-David is
in pursuit, 211 suspect.'
'Northbound, Hollywood Freeway
from the four level.'
Hey, here comes the 211 express.
7-Mary-3 and 4 in pursuit of
'211 suspects, Hollywood north.'
He what?
He loosened his front hub?
'7-Mary-3 and 4 in pursuit'
'of the 211 vehicle,
north on the Hollywood Freeway.'
7-Mary-4, 10-22.
This is Getraer.
Cancel the pursuit.
Repeat. 10-22. Acknowledge.
7-Mary-4, you are
riding a defective motor.
Repeat, your motor
is BO. Acknowledge.
LAS four. This is 7-David,
I'll stop Ponch.
Ponch, 10-22 immediately.
Cancel the pursuit immediately.
Ponch, cancel
the pursuit immediately.
LAS four, 7-Mary-4
is pulling over.
Go ahead, central.
'Poncherello,
check your front hub.'
'Your bolt's been loosened.'
Hey, man. I was just watching
outside that apartment.
I mean, I was holding the bike
but it was Boots
who was doing the number.
"Apartment."
Frank, it's Baker.
It's his front hub.
Stop him. Quick.
10-4!
Jon. Jon, are you alright?
Hey, you okay?
Yeah, I think. Here.
Oh, man.
Whoo, that baby
just started wobbling
and I didn't know what happened.
I just lost control.
- Well, hey, guys..
- Hey, anything broken?
I don't think so.
'Attention, all units'
'LASO has 211 suspect
in custody.'
'Ventura Freeway
and Laurel Canyon.'
Hey, they got 'em!
Now, who's Getraer gonna
call a hot dog, huh?
I think I'll let you
keep that title, alright?
Alright.
Could you get the DA
on the phone for me
so I can file charges
against his two buddies?
Baker, Poncherello, you wanna
step in my office, please?
Uh-oh.
Uh-oh? Oh, Fido.
Now, this gentleman
and his son are looking
for their little, uh,
gray and white dog.
Said they lost it
on the freeway.
Now, they've been over
to the animal shelter
and it doesn't seem
to be there.
You don't suppose
we could help them, could we?
- Yeah, I think we could help.
- Yeah. Why don't you follow us?
He's in the number three.
Fast bugger.
He's in the number two now.
Okay, let's collar him.
Watch out, Ponch, watch out.
Come here.
'Watch yourself,
watch yourself.'
'Come on.'
Careful, little one.
'That's a good boy.'
Okay, come on. Come on.
Hurry up, come on. Here, boy.
'Okay, hurry over. Come on,
come on. Attaboy, come on.'
That's a good boy.
Come on. Come on.
'No, no, no! Wait, wait, wait.'
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
'Come on, come on.'
'Attaboy..'
Come here.
I got him.
I got him. I got him.
Hey, what was that?
Come on.
Wait, wait.
Now I know why I liked turtles
when I was a kid.
Hold it right here
a minute, okay?
LA-7-Mary-3
looks like
we have a five car 11-82
on Southbound Harbor Freeway
at, uh, Vernon off-ramp.
'7-Mary-LA, 10-4 .'
Alright. Now, move out very
slowly. Now, be careful.
Look what you
did to my fender, man.
Please, fellas,
I'm upset enough as it is.
Who's the man said
he was upset.
Hey, I'll handle the crash.
You put on your brakes first!
It's not my fault.
Okay, gentlemen,
let's break it up.
Hey, man, lighten up. Hey.
You back off, Chippie.
It's between me and him.
Hey, I said, cool it.
Bring it through.
Take it easy.
Did your mouth
come with the badge?
Hey, man, don't get
thick with me
or you're gonna be
kissing the concrete.
Think you can
handle a little 11-84?
Lay back, Boots.
You're talking to the man.
You got a little problem
here, Ponch?
No, there's no problem here.
Is that right, Boots?
No, man.
But nobody shuts me down
and gets away with it.
You dig?
Look, this could be
a real problem for you.
You want to end it here
or you wanna take it further?
Listen, did you happen
to see what happened, sir?
Well, I came
off the freeway and the..
...cars in front were slamming
on their brakes for...him.
Hey, oh!
Hey, got you this time.
- Isn't he cute?
- Yeah, and a troublemaker.
It's the animal shelter for him.
Uh, wait a minute, Ponch.
Look, he-he has a cut paw.
Come here, partner.
We got procedure, partner.
The animal shelter.
Some little girl
or boy will come along
see the dog, fall in love,
and give it a good home.
That's right, but first
we take it to the vet.
That way, a healthy dog
gets a good home faster.
- Alright there?
- Procedure, Jon.
You know how Getraer
feels about procedure.
W-wait a minute.
You're telling me procedure?
There's Baricza. I'll have him
take care of it, okay?
Okay, partner. I'll take care
of the TC reports.
- Hey, how do you rate a mascot?
- Ah, I guess I'm just lucky.
Listen, uh, Bar, would you..
Look at you.
- Bar.
- Yeah?
Would you like to do me a favor?
Sure.
Hey, what's that dog
doin' here?
'Baker?'
Would you mind coming
over here a minute, please?
Since when do you have a dog
brought back to headquarters?
Well, uh, see,
it's this way, sarge.
I went to the--
No, no.
It's this way.
It's against procedure.
Now, if it was that partner
of yours, I could understand.
'But you?'
Listen, the dog cut his paw
and needed medical attention.
We got the vet right down
the street, so I figured, hey..
...the least we can do
is have the little dog's
wound fixed, huh?
Okay. You want
to play humanitarian? Fine.
But as soon as that vet
is finished with him
you know where he goes.
Oh, you got it, sarge.
Yeah, right.
Sorry, Jon. Here.
He jumped out of the car
right in front of Getraer.
That's okay.
You should have listened
to your partner..
...partner.
Man, the look on your face when
Getraer called you on procedure.
I thought you were gonna
pop a vein.
Hey, the kid's not used
to it, Ponch. What can I say?
Well, welcome to the club,
old buddy.
He's mine, babe!
Not till I'm finished with him.
Hey, pull it over.
Hey, pull it over!
Hey, what's with this guy?
Looks like a freeze up,
panic city.
Beautiful.
Now what do we do?
'You try to kick it out of gear'
and I'll try to
turn off the kill switch.
Jon, look! A jam up.
Clear!
Okay.
Jon, hit the brakes easy now.
Ponch, look out!
Alright, easy now.
Let's ease him over.
Okay, I got the stand down.
Ease him over.
Okay.
Hey. Snap out of it.
It's okay now.
Nobody told me.
They should have told me.
It's alright, just relax.
Now, take a deep breath.
You'll be alright.
'They should have told me.'
- Hey.
- I don't understand.
I practiced for a week.
I thought I was ready
for the freeway.
- Come on.
- Nobody told me.
Step off, now.
Loosen up, come on.
You're alright now.
That's it. Alright.
Come on backwards.
You got your, uh, class four
license and registration?
- Class? Class four, yes.
- Alright.
Right here. I've got it.
- New bike, huh?
- Twenty five hundred bucks.
- What happened to you?
- I'm not sure.
All I-all I remember is
I got on the freeway
into all that traffic
and then I couldn't think,
I couldn't move.
- It was a bummer.
- Are you feeling okay now?
Oh, yeah. I think so.
Listen, the off-ramp's
just up ahead.
You think you can handle it?
Uh. if you like,
we'll escort you over.
No, no. I've had it.
- Uh, I'm gonna walk.
- Hey, wait a minute.
Hey, you get bucked off a horse,
you get back on.
- Now, just go over and--
- No, no way. No.
Huh?
- Hey, where you going?
- Home.
What about the bike?
You can have it.
I never wanna see it again.
People should've told me.
'No one told me
I was gonna do this.'
I'm gonna drive on a freeway.
Take me through all these cars.
Tried to kill me.
Never told me.
Baker.
The vet says
he's ready to travel.
- Oh, huh, okay, sarge.
- Come on.
- Huh?
- Come on, take him.
He's all yours.
Okay, just a minute.
- Come on, Baker.
- Okay, okay.
Take him to the shelter
where he belongs.
- What's the problem?
- Nothing, nothing.
And you better go
with him, Poncherello
just in case he gets
any more of his ideas.
No problem, sarge.
I know it's
no problem, Poncherello.
You're on my time
for another half-hour.
That's why I said,
it's no problem.
- Hey, Boots, that's him.
- Yeah.
One more I thing.
Here's the bill from the vet.
Okay, little fella.
You comfortable now?
There, that's a good baby, yeah.
Feeling a lot better, huh?
Hey, I didn't know
you were such a dog lover.
Hey, I'm not. I just wanna help
the little guy out, alright?
Yeah, well, it's shelter time.
I'll take care of him
on the way home.
Hey, you heard what Getraer
said. He said you gotta take--
Hey, hey, hey.
I'll take care of it, okay?
Okay.
Ponchereeny, that's the dude
I'm gonna put on the shelf.
Yeah.
Okay, get down in there.
That's a boy.
You okay?
Hey, Boots. You sure
you wanna go through with this?
You want me to pull over
and let you off?
- Yeah, you wanna get out?
- Hey, no. Hey, come on--
Just cool it.
Just-just relax, both of ya.
Hey, Boots, which one of 'em's
the loudmouth, huh?
The one on the left.
Hey, come on. Step on it, man.
We're gonna lose 'em.
Okay, okay.
Okay, I'll catch
you later, Ponch.
Hey, look at him.
Hey, there, little fellow.
How you doing?
You alright, huh?
I better check this out,
just in case.
You wait in here for me, okay?
There you go. Wait here.
Hey, what are you doing, huh?
We're gonna have to come
to an understanding
if you're gonna
stay around here.
Oh, let's see here.
There we go.
I'll get you out, huh?
Okay, man.
Let's get it on.
Hi, Jon.
Where'd you get the puppy?
Oh, hey, how you doing?
Real good.
- A little mail there, huh?
- Mm-hmm.
'See you later.'
Hi, Jon. A new friend?
Huh?
Here we go.
Easy now.
Hey.
Remember, no barking, okay?
Hey, hey, hey.
Come on, come on, come on.
No, no, no. No bark, yeah.
Shh! Hey, hey, t-that's
a good boy, that's a good boy.
Shh. Shh. Look at me.
There we go now, listen.
Here, here, here.
Come on, here. Come on. At least
bark to the beat, come on.
Hey, wait. Uh..
A-are you hungry?
You want something to eat?
Hey, come on.
I got you a little of this.
Here we go-ho-ho-ho!
Here. Hey, come on.
Hey, hey, hey.
Come on. Come on.
You'll like this,
fella, come on.
Come on, there you go.
This kid's alright. Come on,
get it, good boy. Good boy.
Come on.
Come on. The kid eats this.
Come on. Come on.
Take a little bite.
Alright.
Hey, come on, Boots.
That ought to do it.
In a minute, man.
Officer Poochereeny
deserves the best.
Yeah, Boots, you gonna
fix him up good one.
'Come on, man. Let's split.'
Okay, pal. That's it.
'Six minutes fifty seconds left
in the first half..'
Yeah? Who is it?
It's, uh, me, Jon.
Anybody with you?
- No.
- Door's open.
'Chased out of the pocket.
Throws. Intercepted..'
'No! On third and two
you don't pass!'
'Beautiful.
Another interception.'
Hey!
'Now, New York will take over,
first and ten on the forty..'
- What's this?
- Oh, isn't he as cute as ever?
Yeah, especially with that cute,
little chocolate moustache
that used to be my ding-dong.
'Yeah, but I'll tell you
something, Ponch.'
He'll make a good watchdog.
Especially for someone
way out here in the boonies.
Hey, he doesn't
recognize me. Hi.
Hey, come here, boy.
Come on, come on.
Yeah, well, maybe
you should put some, uh..
Put your helmet on.
There we go. Come here.
Come here, boy. Come on.
- Come here, boy.
- Hey.
Hey.
See what did I tell ya, huh?
He loves ya.
Oh, I'll tell ya,
he'd make a good companion, boy.
Especially for someone..
Look how he kisses you.
You're way out here in the
boonies, nobody to talk to.
The cold winter nights,
anyway, you think.
And I'll tell you
something else.
Girls, oh, do they love him.
- Hey. Hey, Jon. Oh, no. No!
- Girls love him!
Stay here,
I'll be right back.
Hey, Jon!
That's a 647A, Ponch.
Indecent exposure.
You're not gonna get away
with this! You hear me?
'...obvious passing situation,
back to the ball..'
Hey, how'd it go last night?
- Oh, you mean with the dog?
- Yeah.
- Okay.
- Hey. Listen, I'm sorry--
Hey, hey, partner. No big thing.
Don't worry about it. It's okay.
Hey, Ponch. Hey, you're not
just saying that, are you?
Nah, don't worry about it,
partner. Hi. Hi.
Hey, what is he doing here?
Well, I couldn't
leave him locked up all day.
He'd get lonesome.
You know, Getraer is gonna
have your head. I mean, he's..
What am I saying?
He's gonna have my head too.
Good boy. Good boy.
Daddy's back.
Daddy?
Hey, Ponch, you know,
you had a good idea.
Why don't we take
the dog to the animal shelter?
What you talking about?
You wanted me to take
the dog, right?
So I took him.
Right, Fido, huh?
Fido?
Well, I had to give him a name.
Oh, yeah, Fido. That's, uh,
that's real catchy.
What are you
gonna do with Fido
when you're out
on the beat every day?
Oh, we figured it out, you see,
what we're gonna do is..
Oh!
Get outta here.
Fido, you get in here, huh?
Go over there now.
Now, stay there. Stay there.
Fido.
Um. How's it going, sarge?
Very slowly, Poncherello,
if you're any indication
You're supposed to be
on your beat, remember?
Hey, we were just leaving,
right, Jon?
Yeah, right.
Yeah, well,
I'm glad to hear it.
Oh, great.
Now what are we gonna do?
Hey, don't worry.
Baricza will find us.
That's them.
Hey, do we gotta
follow 'em so close?
I wanna be there when
the bigmouth hits the pavement.
Yeah, me too.
Hey, partner,
we got company.
Yeah, same yo-yos as yesterday.
Yeah, and I don't think
it's coincidence.
He's gonna get it.
So much for coincidence.
Well, if it isn't
Officer Poochereeny.
Small world, eh, officer?
The three of you mind steppin'
out of the vehicle, please?
Sure thing.
Right over here.
Let me see your driver's license
and registration, please.
Sure thing, man.
But I ain't done nothing wrong.
Have I, guys?
Hey, man. We're cool.
Right, Boots?
Your driver's license
and registration.
Well, Albert,
why were you following us?
The name's Boots, man.
Why were you following us?
I don't know
what you're talking about.
'Oh, Ponch.'
What's the problem, Jon?
Got an illegal headlamp here.
Oh, I see.
Hey, boys, these tires
are too wide for these fenders.
How about the exhaust system?
Hey, that's not legal either.
Hey, what are you guys
talking about?
Sorry, Albert,
but we're gonna have
to write those mechanicals
in the interest
of your own safety, of course.
And also in the interest
of your own safety
we're gonna have to stop these
coincidental chance meetings.
Is that clear?
Pull it over! Right now!
Pull it over!
No, my husband's
had a heart attack.
I've gotta get him
to the hospital.
Pull it over!
My husband's had a heart attack,
I gotta get him to the hospital.
It's alright, ma'am. We'll get
an ambulance right away.
No. There's no time.
Fifteen, 7-Mary-3 and 4
in pursuit of a vehicle
with possible
heart attack victim.
'Dispatch rescue unit
to location'
'estimated to be northbound
San Diego Freeway'
one mile north of Victory.
'All units LA,
7-Mary-3 and 4 in..'
'One mile north of Victory.
A possible heart attack.'
Pull it over and I mean now!
What is the matter with you?
I told you my husband
is having a heart attack.
So get away from me!
What are you doing?
Fifteen, 7-Mary-4, a 10-97
on Roscoe at the San Diego.
'7-Mary-4, 10-97 on Roscoe--'
I told you to take
your hands off him!
You're gonna kill him!
Full arrest. Let's ease him out.
I've gotta get him
to the hospital, please.
Take your hands off of him!
'Oh, no. No.'
One, two, three, four
'five.'
'One, two'
three, four, five.
One, two, three
four, five.
'One, two'
three, four, five.
'Come on, come on.'
I got a little carotid pulse.
Three, four, five.
'Three, four, five.'
- 'One, two.'
- Oh.
- Three, four, five.
- What do you got?
He's cyanotic
but we've raised a pulse.
'Okay, we got it.
I'll take him.'
'SC General,
this is Squad 508.'
'We have a man
in respiratory arrest.'
I want your names
and I want your badge numbers.
- Look, ma'am--
- Don't you "ma'am" me!
I have every right to report you
after jeopardizing
my husband's life, now get them.
Listen, ma'am,
in all due respect to you
the way you were driving
you were jeopardizing
not only your own life,
your husband's life
and everybody else around you.
I had to get my husband
to Valley Presbyterian Hospital.
What is the matter with you?
You should really be glad
we stopped you, ma'am.
Why?
Well, because you took
the wrong off-ramp.
Valley Presbyterian Hospital
is near Sherman Way.
Oh, God.
It's alright.
I mean, I'm very,
very sorry. I'm just..
- Crazy.
- It's alright.
Those gentlemen will take care
of your husband, okay?
- Thank you.
- Excuse us.
Thank you, officers.
I'm really..
Is everything alright?
Yeah, it's a code four, bear.
Hey, uh, guys, there's a little
matter I wanna discuss with you.
- Is it a gray and white matter?
- Yeah. With ears and a tail.
I told you he'd find us.
'Hey, Fido!'
'Good boy, good boy.
That's a boy.'
- 'Can I help you?'
- Yeah.
I'd like to see the officer
in charge. It's real important.
May I ask what this pertains to?
Hey, come on, man.
I gotta see the guy in charge.
Okay.
- Sarge, you got a minute?
- Uh, yeah.
This young man, uh,
would like to speak to you.
Alright. Wanna sit down?
- My name's Zero.
- Yeah?
I mean, Denton. Oswald Denton.
'And, uh..'
I got two friends,
Boots and Little John.
And sometimes
they do heavy things.
You know what I'm saying?
Excuse me.
Getraer here. Sacramento?
Yeah, put him on.
Yeah, captain?
Yes, thank you.
'What directive is that, sir?'
You sure Getraer didn't see
you put Fido in Judy's camper?
I hope he didn't.
Yeah, well, I pray he didn't.
I'll have it in
the mail first thing tonight.
Right, bye.
Ah, okay, uh,
now, what were you saying?
Yeah, well, uh, yesterday,
Boots got into this wreck
that messed up
his wheels, and, uh..
H-he got really burned.
'Attention, all units.'
'LASO reports
a 211 armed robbery.'
'Occurred about five ago.'
'Suspect is driving
a light blue Plymouth Fury'
'and was last observed
traveling westbound on 6th.'
'Suspect is armed
and considered dangerous.'
I guess he's picking up
the Harbor south.
Yeah. Either that
or the Hollywood north.
Let's pull over there and watch.
Yeah. Well, uh,
see, Boots got into it
pretty good with your
Officer Ponche-Ponchenelly
- 'Ponch--'
- Poncherello.
Yeah, that figures.
Anyway..
..Boots..
I mean...
he don't like to be put down.
'LA 15 7-David,
in pursuit of 211 suspects.'
'Hollywood Freeway northbound
from the four level.'
Request units to assist
in felony stop.
'All units, LA 7-David is
in pursuit, 211 suspect.'
'Northbound, Hollywood Freeway
from the four level.'
Hey, here comes the 211 express.
7-Mary-3 and 4 in pursuit of
'211 suspects, Hollywood north.'
He what?
He loosened his front hub?
'7-Mary-3 and 4 in pursuit'
'of the 211 vehicle,
north on the Hollywood Freeway.'
7-Mary-4, 10-22.
This is Getraer.
Cancel the pursuit.
Repeat. 10-22. Acknowledge.
7-Mary-4, you are
riding a defective motor.
Repeat, your motor
is BO. Acknowledge.
LAS four. This is 7-David,
I'll stop Ponch.
Ponch, 10-22 immediately.
Cancel the pursuit immediately.
Ponch, cancel
the pursuit immediately.
LAS four, 7-Mary-4
is pulling over.
Go ahead, central.
'Poncherello,
check your front hub.'
'Your bolt's been loosened.'
Hey, man. I was just watching
outside that apartment.
I mean, I was holding the bike
but it was Boots
who was doing the number.
"Apartment."
Frank, it's Baker.
It's his front hub.
Stop him. Quick.
10-4!
Jon. Jon, are you alright?
Hey, you okay?
Yeah, I think. Here.
Oh, man.
Whoo, that baby
just started wobbling
and I didn't know what happened.
I just lost control.
- Well, hey, guys..
- Hey, anything broken?
I don't think so.
'Attention, all units'
'LASO has 211 suspect
in custody.'
'Ventura Freeway
and Laurel Canyon.'
Hey, they got 'em!
Now, who's Getraer gonna
call a hot dog, huh?
I think I'll let you
keep that title, alright?
Alright.
Could you get the DA
on the phone for me
so I can file charges
against his two buddies?
Baker, Poncherello, you wanna
step in my office, please?
Uh-oh.
Uh-oh? Oh, Fido.
Now, this gentleman
and his son are looking
for their little, uh,
gray and white dog.
Said they lost it
on the freeway.
Now, they've been over
to the animal shelter
and it doesn't seem
to be there.
You don't suppose
we could help them, could we?
- Yeah, I think we could help.
- Yeah. Why don't you follow us?