CHiPs (1977–1983): Season 1, Episode 22 - Flashback! - full transcript

'Grab me that Harley
that just pulled in.'

Man, there's a half a dozen pigs
sloppin' up breakfast in there.

Do you wanna ride
with us or not?

So it's a little crowded, huh?

So who said the Satan's
had an easy initiation?

Right.

'Gotcha.'

Okay, you win.

Aren't you gonna
finish the sentence?

"You win, Ponch, again."

You really wanna hear it,
don't you?



Okay, Ponch, you're the champ
of tight-maneuver drill

and, uh, in rubbing it in.

Hey, I'm sorry,
I promise to be very humble

when you buy my lunch
at Maranino's.

Does it always
have to be Maranino's?

Hey, I like it when a counter
full of motorcycle cops

stand up
and applaud my entrance.

I'm losing my appetite.

Hey, I've been living with your
appetite for a long time now.

It's 7:50. Wanna bet, uh,
it comes back before noon?

I'll tell you what, Jon.
I'm a soft touch.

I'll give you
another shot at me.

- 'Double or nothing?'
- Oh, I'll pass.

You just wanna ground me down
while I'm still psyched out.



I'll take you on.

Well, if you give odds
like that, you need a lesson.

- I'll use your bike.
- Oh, you will?

Well, who should I say
I trusted it to?

Brent Delaney.
We'll be working together.

Since when?

Well, you'll get all
the details from the sergeant.

Are we gonna ride or aren't we?

Hey, why not?

At least one of us
should learn a lesson.

I suppose
you'll need my helmet.

Oh, I have my own in the car.

'Wise guy. He could be
a voice out of my past.'

Hurry up!

We got places to go.

- Can I help you?
- Yeah. Check my back left tire.

It feels low.

I wonder what
this buggy would drive like

without hubs and radio.

Don't tempt me, man.

You owe me two lunches.

What do you say we go again?
Same odds.

No, thanks. I couldn't hack
tacos four days in a row.

Oh, if I were you, I'd have
maintenance check this throttle.

I wouldn't trust it
on a freeway.

Listen, uh,
you must have transferred

from a real gung-ho station.

No, no station.

This is my first assignment.

I was graduated
from motor school last Friday.

Is he pulling our leg?
Two days out of motor school?

Yeah, he passed motorcycles
but flunked public relations.

Uh, first of all,
I'd like to introduce, uh

Officer Brent Delaney.

Uh, not only was he top
of his class at motor school

but he has a master's degree
in police science at USC.

'We're proud to have him
joining the team.'

Let's give him a hand
and say hello.

When you introduce me
to the guys, sarge, don't forget

to tell them I was
the best rider in my class.

I read your file, Poncherello.

So I also realize
you are number one goof-up.

Let's get something straight.
This is a team.

We don't need showboats.

'You squeak through
motor school on probation.'

You arrive here on probation.

The last thing I need is
a headache so don't be one.

You know sarge didn't
mention the best part.

Brent is Senator Delaney's son.

- Senator Delaney?
- Oh, yeah.

Chairman of the Highways
Committee, Sacramento.

'That's the senator.'

You know,
the kid probably thinks

he can use his connections.

'Become head of the CHP
by the time he's 35.'

Oh, now, wait a minute, Barry.
We don't know that.

Oh, but watch yourselves.

'Alright, uh,
let's get back to business.'

There's one new item
this morning.

We've got a crime wave going on
that's aimed right at us.

There are some people out there,
probably members

of a motorcycle gang
who are stealing police bikes.

In the past few days,
LAPD has lost, uh, three units.

Uh, sheriff's department, two.

Now the last thing
you guys wanna do

is fill out the paperwork
for a missing bike.

Uh, the form number
on that is, uh, D-1251.

And the D stands for disgrace.

So, uh, just keep your guards
up, huh? Alright, that's it.

Uh, Baker, Poncherello, Delaney,
you wanna step up here, please.

Okay, Delaney, here's the plan.

Uh, today, you partner
with Poncherello.

Tomorrow,
you partner with Baker.

'We'll alternate this way
for a few weeks'

'until you learn the area.'

I doubt, if it'd take
a few weeks, sergeant.

Well, that's the, uh,
usual procedure, Brent.

Why don't you give it a try?

Well, that's your decision.

I'll meet you out
in the yard, Poncherello.

Okay, hey, uh, call me Ponch.
You got a nickname?

In my family,
we don't use nicknames.

I'll tell you what, Baker.

You can have all my turns
at breaking him in.

No way.

Come on.

'15-6, Adam LA.'

'Investigator
reported dirt bikes'

'in the Turnbull Canyon
fire area.'

Are you hurt?

I want you
to reach in your pocket

and give me
your driver's license.

You know, uh,
you ought to wear a helmet.

It saves lives.

Is there anything
that saves people up there

from giving lectures
to people down here?

Alright, get up.

- Any questions you wanna ask?
- Obviously, none.

Westwood, sir.
I-I'm late for class.

Yeah, hop in.

Cover me.

Look, officer, I-I know

'I made a rather unorthodox'

'move back there, but, uh--'

Get out of the car, please.

I beg your pardon?

Get out of the car, please.

And, you, keep your hands
where I can see 'em.

Now, don't you think
you're carrying this thing

a little too far?

Turn around.

Put your right hand
on your head.

Hey, I happen to be guilty
of a traffic violation.

I am not a criminal.

Oh, this is outrageous.

I'm not gonna put up
with this kind of humiliation

I promise you that.

'Pardon me, sir.
Aren't you Albert Atchinson?'

I'm Brent Delaney,
you introduced my father

once at a Bar
Association banquet.

Aren't you supposed
to be doing something?

- Senator Tom's son.
- Yeah.

Of course.

Watch that guy.

- Your partner blew it, huh?
- Who told you that?

I saw it.

Get the knife.

'Attention, all units,
2-11 occurred'

'approximately 30 ago
at Vic's Liquor Store'

'at the corner
of Highland and Dreckler.'

'Suspect last seen heading
northbound on Dreckler.'

'Suspect is a white male adult'

'approximately 21 years of age
with a watch cap.'

Okay, so you got lucky.

Mr. Atchinson,
I hope you understand

why I took the action I did.

Oh, I thought he was a student.

You searched the car?

He had a gun, huh?

And sooner or later, he would
have used it, or the knife..

...on you.

Sorry about the way
you were treated.

Knowing you, I would have
handled it differently.

Brent.

Did you cite Atchinson
for that violation?

I think you gave him
trouble enough for one day.

I just did what had to be done.

Oh, really?

Let's see how Sergeant Getraer

feels about the way you did it.

Come on, man, you don't
wanna bring Getraer a hustle

on your first day on the job?

Hey, that last jump of yours
was right on the money.

Yeah, well,
I had a good teacher.

Good?

I'm terrific.

Yeah,
you are terrific, Ponch

and, uh, now that we got
that out in the open, here.

What's this?

Just, uh, read it and
take it home and fill it out.

Hey, are you crazy, man?

This is an application
for the CHP.

That's right.

It's not funny, man.

That's no joke.
Listen, the way you ride a bike?

I mean, you do attract
a little trouble

but you also attract
a lot of people around you.

What I'm trying to say is, uh,
you need us and we need you.

No way, man.

CHP is the last place I belong.

Delaney's contention
that you handled

Mr. Atchinson improperly.

It's possible,
he had a furtive passenger

and I didn't know
what there was between them.

And Baricza's report says that
Delaney left his backup position

to go chat
with his father's friend.

Now, what's your report
gonna say?

I smelled trouble.
Delaney didn't.

It's his first day on the job.

Frank, you're covering for him.

Me? Hey, no way.

Why don't you just drop it,
sarge?

You tell him I wanna see him.

Alright, but, uh,
go easy, huh?

- He's learning.
- Ha! That's funny.

I had the distinct impression
that he was here to teach.

What happened later
is a different thing entirely.

I'm only talking about
what happened up front.

Why was it necessary
to humiliate a man

like Albert Atchinson?

You're alive, aren't you?

And so is your partner.

No thanks to you.

That answer your question?

Atchinson was no threat
to either one of us.

Delaney.

It's Ponch's duty
to secure the driver.

Your duty was to cover
the other guy and you didn't.

You can't justify that
in a million years.

Hey, Brent, Getraer wants you
to stop by his office

on the way out, okay?

Yeah, sure.

Hey, Ponch, look at it this way.
It's just a bad luck day.

I don't blame my luck.
Blame me. I pushed it too far.

Well, next time, go around the
oil slick instead of through it.

What next time?

That bike will be ready
in a couple of days.

Hey, Getraer doesn't
repair that easy.

He's gonna put me
back in the car.

I'll talk to Getraer.
He'll understand.

Stop wasting your breath, man.

Isn't it enough I wasted
those weeks in motor school?

Wait a minute.
Who said you wasted them?

I did.

Don't you think
I know that by now?

Ponch, it's only
been eight days.

- Now, give yourself a chance.
- Man, why spin more wheels?

Look, I'll see you
back at Central, okay?

Come on, Peggy.
The keys are in it.

Y-you're not
supposed to drive it.

My brother doesn't care,
we'll lose the courts

if we're not there
in 15 minutes. Come on.

Hey, call this in.
Ambulance and a wrecker.

Get us out of here, please.
Get us..

Get us out of here.

What are you doing?

Peggy, wake up.
Please, Peggy, help me.

You've gotta help me.
Get us out of here.

Please! Peggy!

No, don't leave.

Can't open the doors.
The water's holding 'em shut.

We gotta get water in
to equalize the pressure.

Oh, Peggy,
could you wake up, please?

What? What?

Window? Window.

She can't open the windows.
They're shorted out.

Gasoline.

The water's forcing it
out of the carburetors.

Yeah, I know.
I got a mouthful.

And the car's full of fumes.

We gotta break a window.

What are you doing?

Hand me that pipe!

Behind you! Over there!

Peggy!

Peggy!

Please hold on.

Henny?

Henny, where are we?

And there's water coming in.

Hey, man, luck has a way
of turning around.

Don't let a bad day throw you.

Officer, stop, please!

My mother's in there.
Someone's tryin' to kill her.

You've gotta help her. He's
in there trying to kill her.

- Where?
- Well, back there.

The last bungalow to the left.

Come on, I'll show you.

It's all the way to the left.

'You've gotta save her. Please.'

Come on.

We gotta go..

I'll say one thing
for that rookie.

He's got great taste in cars.

Yeah, I wonder why he didn't
ride his motor to work.

I don't know.

If I could afford those wheels

I might not even
be going to work.

Yes, you would, Grossie.
You love the patrol.

I do. But after yesterday,
I don't think he does.

Wonder why he even joined it?

Uh, Sergeant Getraer, the
friend I was telling you about.

Frank Poncherello.

Oh, yeah.
How do you do?

Baker tells me you wanna
take the CHP examination.

Yeah, I think it's crazy
but Mr. Clean here

keeps twisting my arm.

You ever tried
filling out an application

with a twisted arm, huh, huh?

Yeah, that's one thing.
Frank always keeps you laughing.

Yeah.

Uh, listen, I was wondering, if
you'd look at the application.

Make sure there's no mistakes
before he sends it in.

- Why not?
- Oh, thank you, sarge.

I mean, sergeant.

Well, frankly, uh,
Poncherello..

...your background here
is a little marginal.

What makes you wanna
join the CHP anyway?

That margin you just mentioned.

Uh, come again?

Well, I've been living there
all my life.

Them on one side.
Us on the other.

I tried being one of them
and I found out I'm not.

So I figured I'm one of us.

Well, uh, send it in.

- Thanks a lot, sarge.
- Yeah.

- Hey, Ponch.
- Hey, Grossie.

Have you heard the latest?

Grossie, I think
I could spoil your whole day

if I told you, uh, yes, I have.

You have?

No. The latest about what?

Delaney.
His bike was ripped off.

- You're kidding?
- Nope. I just heard the story.

He was driving home last night,
and some foxy chick got him

into a wild-goose chase, so her
buddies could steal his wheels.

- Where is he now?
- In talking to Getraer.

Man, wouldn't you hate
to have to explain

how a girl conned you
into a goof like that?

Good question, Grossie.

Good question.

'Oh, I'm sure
you know Frankie.'

Dark hair,
bottomless brown eyes.

He has the cutest smile ever.

I think he's in charge
of this whole place.

'Uh, this Frankie
told you that, huh?'

'No, I had to drag it
out of him.'

- Frankie's very modest.
- He is, huh?

Well, you see, uh, your Frankie
must work at another station

because I'm in charge here

and the only Frank
that we have, uh..

'Well, he certainly does not
fit that description.'

You mean, I have to go around
making illegal left turns

until he arrests me again?

Oh, I wouldn't advise that, uh..

Why don't you just try
to forget about him?

I'll never forget Frankie.

Yeah, I know the feeling.

Well, I'm sorry
we can't help you, ma'am.

Uh, better luck next time.

Is there some place
I could cry?

Uh, why don't you try the
ladies' lounge out in the lobby?

Thank you.

Girls chase him.
VIPs get mad at him.

You know, your protege,
Poncherello attracts trouble

'like windshields attract bugs.'

Sorry. So he cited a carload
of city councilmen.

Every one of 'em
flunked the breath test.

I know all about their breaths.

What do you think I've been
feeling hot and heavy

on the back of my neck?

Look, I could have fended
them off a lot better

if he hadn't been two days late
with his paperwork.

Uh, well, he's not applying
for secretarial school.

It's motor school. Sarge, now,
come on, give him a break.

Okay.
Only because you asked.

Thanks, sarge.
Uh, you won't be sorry.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah,
I'll be sorry

but not as sorry as
Poncherello's gonna be

'when I tell him
about Miss Lonely Hearts.'

Look, this is the CHP,
not "The Dating Game."

- Here.
- Thank you.

No, mister, I said
this was a test for an abbre..

...initi...inebriation.

And I couldn't pronounce it.

That's Brent Delaney.

Gonna be commissioner
before he's 35..

...if he ever finds his bike.

Hey, I heard about your motor,
Delaney. Tough luck.

Come off it, Poncherello, you're
enjoying it as much as they are.

You got it all wrong,
you know?

No, I know exactly
what you're thinking.

What good are Delaney's
Sacramento contacts now?

Wrong. I'll tell you
exactly what I'm thinking.

We can't let
those rip-off artists

get away with a CHP motor,
you know that?

It's us against them.
And you and I are us.

That's your uniform talking,
admit it.

That's me talking, Brent.

You'll feel the same way
in a couple of years.

What makes you think
I'll be around that long?

You will, I got
the whole story of your life..

...from a kid I used to know.

Drive a little smoother,
Artie. Smoother, come on.

Hey, I don't need
your back-seat lip, man.

Just drink from the can.

You ain't got no class, Artie.

Cans are for peons, Artie.

Salud.

'Look at that.'

Hey, check it out, man. There
you go. We could have some fun.

'Yeah.'

Yee-haw!

Hey, man, check it out.

- Hey.
- Hey.

Top of the morning, officer.
What can I do you for?

Morning. Can I talk
to the driver, please?

'You know, one of us
was driving but, uh..'

...we can't remember which.

That's right.
We can't remember which.

Yeah, well, I can.
He's wearing your shirt.

May I see
your driver's license, please?

Why don't you walk
over here and take it?

Hey, listen,
why complicate your life, huh?

You're already gonna be cited
for drinking in a moving vehicle

and trying to evade arrest.
Why go for more?

You're gonna talk us out of it?

What I do is up to you.

Oh, wow, man.
I can't believe this.

Two thousand chippies in LA,
and we get busted by my cousin.

How you been?
Hi, Jon.

Uh, hey, hey, let me
tell you about this dude.

This is the pride of the barrio.
We were kids together, man.

We played vaquerosand Indians.
Cops and banditos.

This is my favorite cousin, man.

That Anglo ain't no cousin,
Ponch.

Sure, he is, man.
On my mother's side.

We came to this country
by way of Denmark.

The way I heard is by Miami.

You calling me a liar?

Don't stand there looking
stupid. Get in the car.

Hey, uh, just a minute.

I gotta write you
your citations.

Hey, what you got? A death wish?
Man, what's the matter with you?

Hey, you know the family motto.

You do your job..

...and I do mine.

Cousin.

Our friends in Auto Theft
have been working on it

but they still don't have
any solid leads on that outfit

that's been ripping off
police motorcycles.

'So, uh, keep your eyes open.'

Okay, that's all.

Come on, you guys.

- Sarge, you got a minute?
- Yeah.

If there's an available motor

how about Delaney
riding with me?

Yeah, for a change,
I happen to have a spare.

Stop by my office
and pick up the keys.

- Uh..
- I'll meet you outside.

Ponch, I can say one thing
for you.

You're a glutton
for punishment.

Yeah, but, you know,
uh, he's my cousin.

Something on your mind?
Unload it.

Us against them, huh?

Hey, Rex.

That's the girl that set me up.

That's a stripped-down
police bike.

Freeze!

'You're under arrest.'

The bike you were riding
is one of ours.

It's not designed
for this type of thing.

Come on, let's go.
Let's go.

Looks like we got a CHP officer.

Yup, courage, honesty and pride.

Well, everything considered,
not a bad day's work.

You got that right, sarge.

- Sarge, I'm going back in.
- Okay.

Good work, buddy.

That's a good job, Delaney.

Uh, that's quite a report
you're gonna have to write up.

- How are you at paperwork?
- He hates it.

- How do you know I hate it?
- Just a guess.

Well, I hate it,
but I do it well.

'Alright, then, wrap this up'

and I'll see you
back at Central, huh?

Hey, Delaney?

I like your style.