CHiPs (1977–1983): Season 2, Episode 1 - Peaks and Valleys - full transcript

When is it gonna
be my turn to drive?

Soon.

With a new car, it's bad
to keep switching drivers.

Switch? We've had
the car for three days...

and I got to drive it
around the block once.

Yeah, you did very good too.

Hey, there's a ramp up
ahead. We can change.

Forget it. Last time, we got
back on the wrong freeway.

No, we only got
40, 50 miles to go.

I make my part of the payments.
Now, how about my rights?

Let's change places now.



- What, while we're driving?
- Now, come on.

- Okay, I'm on. You come over here.
- Okay.

All right, all
right. I can do it.

Okay, just get under me now.

- All right. I got it.
- I'll get my leg over...

- You got it? Okay.
- Yeah.

Okay, I'm gonna climb over...
Get my leg over... Wait, wait.

- Yeah.
- Over, I'm over.

- Slide your legs over...
- Okay, get underneath, now.

I'm over, I'm over. - Whoo!

Hello, there.

Let me just get my leg out.

- Ow. Ha-ha-ha!
- I'm stuck.

Get around him!



- Stay in your lane.
- I'm trying.

Watch out for that car.

- Ha-ha-ha.
- I got it. Okay, I got it.

Get out of the
way so I can drive.

Get down more. Get down more.

Watch out for these cars! Hey,
will you watch where you're going?

- Stay away from that wall.
- I'm trying.

I got it. Okay, you got it?

Wait a minute.

Accelerator stuck?

No, we are.

It's the cruise control.

It's a new car, I don't
know how to work it.

My leg... I can't
get my leg out.

Keep your eyes on the road! Can
one of you reach the brake pedal?

I think... I think I can.

- I got it. I got it.
- Watch it. You know I'm ticklish.

Don't be ticklish.

Bob.

Bob, the road! Look out!

I'll take it.

You stay here, understand?

Lie still, ma'am. Lie
still and don't move.

L.A., 7 Mary 3 and
4.10-97, 11-80...

Oh, my children. Oh, my child...

Mom! GIRL: Mom!

Help!

Help!

Mom! Dad! GIRL: Dad!

Mom! Mom! Dad! Mom!

Help! Help! BOY: Mom!

All right, we'll get
you out in a minute.

Scary! GIRL: Come on, help!

Dad! Dad, are you okay? Dad?

Come on, Dad. Dad, are you okay?

- Okay?
- Yeah.

Okay? All right, come on.

Come on.

Dad, are you okay?

Dad. Say something, Dad.

- Dad, are you okay?
- People, move away, please.

People, back off, please.
Move away, make room.

Sir, your wife
and kids are okay.

Just don't move, please.

Where are my children?

Get back, would you
please? Now, step back.

It'll be all right.
It'll be all right.

Give this lady a hand here.

Son, you take
care of your sister.

Come on, folks, move away,
please. Back to your cars.

Oh, no, no. Oh!

Come on down to the lower road.
I think we've got a spinal injury.

Hey, anything we can do?

You have done enough. Didn't
they teach you about back injuries?

Hey, look, we didn't...

You shouldn't have touched
this man. You do nothing.

And if you can't,
don't do what you did.

- Now, just a minute.
- Why don't you go write a ticket, huh?

You know something, Ponch?

Rush-hour traffic really
gets on your nerves.

Yeah, it really
gets on my nerves.

I know. I read your horoscope.

"Everyday occurrences
will bother you. Beware."

How come you always read my
horoscope and never tell me about yours?

Bugs you, right?

You wanna know
what mine says today?

"If someone close to
you is edgy, be calm."

Ah...

Now, why would a kid
wanna do something like that?

Jon Baker.

It's me, Stan Bosca.

- High school, remember?
- Hey, how you doing?

How you doing? It's
good to see you, Stan.

Couldn't be better.
How's about you?

You know, I lost track of
you after the last reunion.

Yeah, I'm still out here meeting
people. Hey, you selling these nowadays?

- You like it?
- Yeah.

Three like it in the whole
state. I just picked it up.

It's not the kind of car I sell,
but I could afford to buy it.

Oh, yeah? Business
that good, huh?

Not good, man. Fantastic.

Oh, that's great, Stan.
I'm really glad to hear it.

I just hope you wanna stay
alive long enough to enjoy it.

Hey, listen, Jon. Uh... Don't
give me a break on the ticket.

Now, I know you
guys got a quota to fill.

Just like my salesmen, right?

You really wanna know the
truth, Stan? There's no quota.

I always figured
you for a big winner.

I think you're wasting
your time out here.

I know what you make.
You're worth a lot more.

Doing what, selling cars?

Raise your standard of
living, I guarantee you that.

Well, I wasn't aware
that I looked so deprived.

Huh. No, all I'm saying is you
got a way with people, okay?

And you're blowing it
on drunks and speeders.

Stan, I prefer to think that
I'm saving lives and property.

Could I have your signature?

Was I going that fast?

Whoo... Okay.

Well, you got my card, Jon.

Come on by, okay? Just
check out the operation.

Bring your partner.

You know, Jon, these freeways,
they ain't the whole ball of wax.

Think about it.

It's all right, Dave.

There's nothing there. Why
don't you go and lie down?

Come on, go back and lie down.

Good dog, going back and
lying down. Good Dave, good.

You must be the new mechanic.

Oh, you picked
that up right away?

I'd like you to
look at my motor.

Nice.

- What do you say there, Fritz-o?
- Hey, what's up?

- Been by the motor pool yet?
- Yeah, what's wrong with him?

He jammed his nose in a bag of
dope. He's just coming out of it.

You must mean the dog.
Jon's talking about Harlan.

The dog was on sniffer duty
at the border. I think he's cute.

I don't know about Harlan.

- It's been a tough one, sarge.
- The camper?

I heard.

Fill these out carefully. Be exact
about the time and circumstances.

- And witnesses.
- What's the problem?

The driver has
serious spinal injuries.

They claim you aggravated his
condition when you moved him.

- No, we didn't.
- Hey, that's not true.

- Well, I sure hope you can prove it.
- Why should we have to prove it?

There's gonna be a hearing
on a Category 1 complaint.

You might have trouble.

- So, what'd you put under comments?
- I left it blank.

We can't prove we
did the right thing.

Doesn't that put the burden
of proof on the complainant?

He had witnesses.

Even if you're vindicated at the
hearing, there's still the civil suit.

Civil suit?

You're in a position of
personal liability at a civil trial.

Ahem. Grossie, tell me
there's a cheerful side to this.

Sure, there's a cheerful side.

I don't think they'll go
for criminal negligence.

Move, Dave, huh?
Move over, Dave.

Please move over.

Never mind, Dave.

Find out what was wrong with it?

Yeah, your kickstand bracket
broke. I gave you a new one.

- Uh-huh.
- And that noise that you were hearing...

was caused by this piece of
metal that was jammed in your link.

You should have picked
that up on visual inspection.

No, no. Down, Dave, down.

Uh, how soon before that
cycle's ready to go back on duty?

It's ready now, sergeant.

- Good.
- Reports on the camper accident.

- The best we've ever written, sarge.
- Yeah, well, it'll have to be.

Hey, your tire pressure is low.

Both tires.

Thank you.

Ah... If I was two inches taller, I'd
be cracking the bricks with them.

Well, look at the
flip side, Harlan.

If you were two inches shorter, you'd
be riding losers at Hollywood Park.

I'm reviewing the
answers, Mr. Niles.

Now, it's important that you
answer the same way each time.

Can you remember being pulled
from the cab of your camper?

Yes, I can.

- Who pulled you from the cab?
- Two men.

- I think the highway patrol officers.
- And why do you think that?

I remember them wearing
helmets and brown uniforms.

- And boots.
- I remember that.

You said you saw two officers
go down to your camper.

Only two.

Are these the men?

Yes, those are the men.

Frank Poncherello and Jon Baker.

Well, that's our case.

I have statements
from the medics...

and everyone else, right
up to the chief surgeon.

What's gonna happen
to the two officers?

We don't care about them.

We only care about
what happened to you.

Don't think about the officers.
Think about your wife...

your children, and you.

Take care.

You worried about the hearing?

Yeah, I'm thinking about it.

Freeways aren't
the whole ball of wax.

The car business? Are you
thinking about another job?

Not a bad idea. Unless, of course,
you're holding back a big defense witness.

I guess it's obvious
somebody goofed with that man.

I wish I could figure out
why he's trying to nail us for it.

Ah, just passing
the buck, Ponch.

I'll tell you, it really
bothers me, and it's, uh...

It's not one of those
occurrences in my horoscope.

I know, but what are we
gonna do about it, huh?

What are we gonna do? We...

Hey, partner.

Loosen your chinstrap, you're
gonna cut the blood to your brain.

That's that same
girl, you saw her.

White '57, this morning a yellow '55,
yesterday a blue, the day before that, red.

Why don't we go after her? Maybe we
can catch her and you can talk to her.

And who knows?

Yeah, not the way
my luck's been running.

You're in an
emotional valley, Jon.

Nothing looks right
to you. Think positive.

We'll get a defense for the hearing
and check out that car-sales job.

That do it?

And one item.

Next time you see that
mystery woman, follow her.

Same girl, different cars? That's
reasonable cause to stop her.

Pull it over!

Pull it over, I'll
stay with you!

- You all right?
- Yeah.

Yeah, driver's all right.

As long as he doesn't sue us.

- How'd you burn your hand?
- Always happens when I open hot doors.

- Hi, fellas.
- Hi, sarge.

Hi, sarge.

Think you'd better read that.

A hearing from the
field-operations lieutenant?

It'll take place here.

Just tell him your story with
any evidence and witnesses.

We don't have any witnesses.

What does this Niles
guy want from us?

I don't know about Niles...

but his attorney wants to
establish your incompetence.

Negligence.

Then he can move on to
nail the state for a bundle.

- We're gonna defend the state?
- I think the state's gonna live through it.

What you guys gotta worry about is the civil
action that they wanna bring against you.

Yeah, when does it ever stop?

Look, you guys go get cleaned
up and I'll take over here.

By the way...

I want you guys to do your
little act over at Palisades High...

for a group of Explorer Scouts.
Tomorrow morning, 10 a.m.

A recruiting pitch?

I don't know, sarge.
In his frame of mind?

Tomorrow morning, 10 a.m.

We better get together tonight and
work on that hearing, Jon. All right?

Yeah. But first, let's
investigate a new line of work.

Now, we don't use
the up system here.

If you can grab a
buyer, he's yours.

I see. How do you know what
price? You know, how much it costs?

Oh. It's coded, look. See, the
outside numbers are the year.

Just add 95 to the center numbers.
Add a couple hundred onto that.

It makes it easier for the closer,
especially if there's a trade-in.

But just get them breathing
heavily over a particular car.

And we juggle the
numbers in the office.

Look, take the straw dog off
the deal and plaster the sticks.

So when can you guys start?

Uh...

Well, we'd really like to
think about it for a while.

Oh, yeah, hey, sure.
Take all the time you need.

- You remember that ticket you wrote me?
- Uh-huh.

Is there any way to bury it? My
insurance company boosted the premium.

I'm sorry, Stan. There's
really nothing I can do.

See the kind of position you're
in? You can't even help out a pal.

- Gotta be fast on your feet around here.
- It's a jungle, pal.

Look around. I gotta
do a little handholding.

Come on, Ponch.

CHP is always looking
for a few top-notch recruits.

I know you're all giving
it thought as a career...

but it's not all fun and games.

It has its good
times and its bad.

Anyway, it's a
career of service.

And one you can be proud of.

Any questions?

Could you tell us why you chose the
patrol, and what you like best about it?

Why don't we show them, partner?

Hey, hey.

No, I don't... No.

What I want is a CHP sedan.

With spotlights and
flashers and all that on it.

- And that big star on the door.
- Ha-ha.

- Use it for a bull's-eye, right?
- Believe it.

- Let's make that call.
- Yeah.

Attention, all units. We have
an anonymous telephone report...

of a group of dirt bikes tearing
up the reservoir on Canyon Road...

immediately east of the
junction of State Road 25.

Units responding, answer up.

L.A. 15, 7 Adam responding
from Mulholland Drive.

L.A. 15, 7 Mary 4 responding
from Lower Canyon Road.

L.A. 15, this is 7
Adam. I'm 10-97.

I'll be leaving my unit for about
10 minutes, checking out the area.

- Now look at that, baby.
- Yeah.

L.A. 15, 7 Mary 4.10-97
Canyon Road, shots fired.

10-4, 7 Mary 4.

10-97 Canyon Road, shots fired.

You're a dead man.

You're a dead man.

Woo-wee! Man, I wish
I had a picture of that.

Well, clip it out of
the papers, man.

- It's gonna be in every paper.
- Yeah.

Look at that, look at that.

Freeze, police.

Drop the weapons,
raise your hands.

You have the right to remain
silent. If you do not choose to...

anything you say can and will be
used against you in a court of law.

Come on, you guys. It was just a stunt.
You know, kind of like a way to get even.

Even? For what?

- You know. You guys got it all.
- We don't have Tommy guns.

Oh, yeah? Well, I can
get you all you want.

You wanna call this in?
His radio's a little shot.

L.A., 7 Mary 4. Advising
Code 4 at Canyon Road.

Need an 11-48 and a tow truck.

7 Mary 3, 10-4.

I know, I'm in an
emotional valley.

Obviously a symbolic act
against an inanimate object.

But why?

A gesture of defiance
against authority.

It's like any
senseless destruction.

It tends to give the
perpetrator an identity.

Yeah, well, they've got
that now. Six felony counts.

Harlan, what is
that dog doing here?

It's force of habit, sergeant. He's been
around policemen since he was a rookie.

Sarge, can we do the
paperwork on the shooters later?

It's about our hearing.
We wanna visit a witness.

- Oh, you have one?
- Yeah, our accuser, Niles.

- Ah... That's dangerous.
- Believe me, we'll be careful.

All right.

- And, Harlan...
- Yes, sir?

Would you leave
that dog at home?

- Turn right at the light.
- I thought we were going to the hospital.

Did you read your horoscope?

"You find a pleasant answer
to a nagging question."

What's that supposed to mean?

It means, before we go
to the hospital, follow me.

I did a little
research last night.

All right.

- Well, hello there.
- Hi.

I just had to figure it out.

I keep seeing you in all
these different T-Birds.

I run errands in them.
I'm Melanie Engels.

I'm Jon Baker.

I just had to find out.
You know, it's, uh...

It's just one of those
nagging questions.

It's a disco concert.
Tonight's the last night.

Oh.

Here, complimentary
tickets from T-Bird Classics.

Oh, I'm sorry. Uh... I don't
mean to sound square...

but we have a rule.
We can't accept things...

Oh, I understand.
Could a friend take you?

- Sure.
- Then it'd be okay if I carried the passes?

Yeah, that'd be terrific.

This is my partner,
Frank Poncherello.

- He's the one that found you.
- Hello.

- I'll carry four passes.
- All right.

That'd really be terrific.

Mr. Niles, do you remember me?

Yes, I do.

Bob, these are the officers
who were at the accident.

I guess you're here
about the complaint.

Everything I said was the truth.
I'm sorry if I got you guys in trouble.

But it's still the truth.

That is impossible, sir.
We never touched you.

See, we thought if you saw us, maybe
you could remember something more.

No.

I never saw your faces...

just your helmets
and your uniforms.

Well, I saw your faces.

Don't you remember?

You carried me over to Daddy.

I sure do, little princess.

But your daddy was already
out of the truck by then.

Honey...

did you see who
moved your daddy?

No, but Tommy did.

He said they were just a
couple of men in gold hats.

- Gold hats?
- You know, power-line guys.

Gold hats and boots.

It's coming back.

Hardhats.

I made a mistake.

You were there.

You told me not to move.

You know, you were right.

You never touched me.

All right, let's hear it for
him, folks, huh? Not too bad.

Everybody on the floor. Ready?

Right? Come on. Get in there.

Hey, you guys were really
something on the dance floor.

- Can I pick a partner, I ask you, huh?
- Not bad.

You guys are the first
policemen I've ever known.

- And you're really fun to be with.
- Who, we're fun?

You must really enjoy your life.

Well, it has a lot to do with
the company we're with.

But our profession has a lot of ups
and downs, and peaks and valleys.

Please, I've got to get through.

I think she's having the baby.

Would you step back,
please? Excuse me.

Excuse me.

Please help me.

Come on, you're
gonna be okay now.

Ponch, she's gonna
deliver right here.

Go to the microphone. Tell
M.G. Kelly to ask for a doctor.

You could get me some
towels, napkins, tablecloth.

- Whatever, okay?
- Oh, please.

Listen, folks. Help us out.
Let's form a circle. Face outward.

All right? Form a
circle, face out, okay?

It's gonna be fine,
everything's gonna be okay.

Grab her hands
and keep her calm.

It's okay.

Help me.

Make sure there's an
ambulance on the way, all right?

- It's all right.
- Oh!

It's okay, now.

It's gonna be okay.

Now, push.

Push, come on.

- It's a boy.
- It's a boy.

Thank you.

Excuse me, what's your name?

Uh, Jon Baker.

- Yours?
- Frank Poncherello.

These are the doctors
that delivered our baby boy.

Wait a minute, hold
it. They're not doctors.

You're not... You're not
doctors? What are you?

We're California
Highway Patrol officers.

All right.