CHiPs (1977–1983): Season 1, Episode 18 - Cry Wolf - full transcript
CHP officers try to catch the person calling in fake accidents.
[woman on radio]
'8 David, 10-19 contact--'
[Frank]
'I don't believe this.'
One combination burrito.
Two tacos. You got that?
[female #1]
'Maybe if you speak louder.'
One combination burrito,
uh, two tacos
a large chocolate shake,
and a large milk, please.
[female #1]
'Thank you, sir.'
'Contact the occupant'
'regarding an alleged
hit and run.'
[instrumental music]
California Highway Patrol.
Yeah, a, uh
a big gas truck just
rolled over onto some cars.
[man #1]
'People are hurt.
There's gasoline everywhere.'
'Just send help quick.'
We will, sir,
but don't hang up.
I need the number of
the box you're calling from.
SD 285.
San Diego Freeway 285?
Yeah, and, hurry!
[dramatic music]
[engine revving]
[female over radio]
'Attention all San Diego
Freeway units'
'we have an 11-80
involving a gas tanker'
'with leaking gasoline.'
'Southbound San Diego Freeway
at Sunset.'
'All responding
units identify.'
LA, 7 Adam responding.
[engine revving]
Here goes our lunch.
Sounds bad.
LA, 7 Mary
3 and 4 responding.
[female over radio]
'Ten-four, 7 Mary 3.'
[engine revving]
[upbeat music]
[siren wailing]
[upbeat music]
[engine revving]
[siren wailing]
[sirens wailing]
[suspenseful music]
[tires screeching]
[crashes]
Jon, are you okay?
Yeah, I'm alright.
Give me a hand, would you?
Help me
with the bike?
Yeah.
Oh, I'm so sorry.
I skidded in the water.
Are you alright?
Yeah, there's no harm. I just
dirtied my uniform a little bit.
Oh, you tore your sleeve.
You are hurt.
It's just
a little scrape.
Hey, I'm sorry
It isn't worse. Heh.
Well, at least you didn't
have to ring for a nurse.
Yeah, you, uh, better move
the car out of the way, okay?
Oh, okay.
Ponch, you wanna
give me a hand with this?
Come on.
One, two, three.
[indistinct]
[engine revving]
What, we get
the...wrong location?
Baricza's checking.
We know there's
nothing Southbound.
Yeah, well, take a look
North up to Mulholland.
Yeah.
[engine revving]
[suspenseful music]
[instrumental music]
[theme music]
[music continues]
[music continues]
[music continues]
Not even a fender-bender
South of us.
Alright.
- Hey, Baricza.
- Yeah?
- Come here and take over.
- Okay, sarge.
[man #1]
'Let's go.'
[Baricza]
'Okay, let's go.
Move it on up.'
'Come on, keep it moving.
Nice and easy.'
[sighs]
[Baricza]
'Come on, VW,
let's go, let's go.'
Okay, I want you
to clear this up.
Then I want you, Fritz,
Baricza, Poncherello and Baker
back in my office
for a special assignment.
- Tell them.
- Yes, sir.
[engine revving]
[Baricza]
'Come on. Let's move it.
Let's keep it moving.'
[engine revving]
[man #2]
'Come on, move out.'
Come on, bro, let's go.
Move it up here.
Let's go.
[woman on radio]
'Attention all
San Diego units'
'responding to
an 11-79 at Sunset, 10-22.'
Well, that takes care
of the emergency.
Yeah.
Then there's
no rush, right?
Right.
Listen..
...I'm an X-ray technician at
the Valley General Hospital.
And..
...well, that elbow could
very well be chipped.
[female #2]
'You should really come in
and have an X-ray made.'
[Frank]
'Hey, that's a
great idea, Jon.'
When it comes
to bones..
...you never know, right?
- Right.
- Hey, listen, the arm's fine.
But if it gives me any trouble,
I'll drop in, okay?
Now, uh, you have a nice day,
Miss Wayburn?
Alright. You too.
[engine revving]
I can't believe it.
You just rolled out of
a foxy lady's life.
- Naturally.
- Naturally?
There's nothing
natural about it.
There was an attraction
between you two, man.
[Frank]
'I could feel it.'
Ponch, you should be
writing soap operas.
[Baricza]
'Okay, keep it moving.
Let's go.'
'Come on, buddy.
Don't sit there all day.'
'These people gotta
go somewhere. Let's go.'
Hey, Baker. Why don't you look
for a different laundry?
Not funny, Bariczs.
- He hurt his elbow.
- Well, he's tough.
I didn't hurt my elbow.
I just skinned it a little bit.
Hey, guys, Getraer wants
to see us in his office
as soon as we get back.
[Grossman]
'Keep it moving. Come on.'
Listen, at least have
the elbow X-rayed, Jon.
You got the advice
from a specialist.
An interested expert.
Ponch, that was purely
professional interest,
alright?
You misread it.
[Grossman]
'Come on, move it up.'
[engine revving]
Uh, yeah, from the tapes,
it sounds like the same guy
who called in the phony
school bus explosion last week.
Uh, look, I'm, uh,
sorry, that's all I have.
Right. Bye.
But why does the guy give
the wrong box number
when he calls in?
Probably because
if anybody spots him
he's not at a box
we all know about.
And that's how
he gets his kicks.
If I get my hands on him,
he'll get a kick.
Okay, for those of you
who haven't met him
this is, uh, Jay Higgins
from the phone company.
Hey.
This is a special
assignment task force.
We have a plan
that we're gonna implement
first thing in the morning,
as soon as the
tracing equipment
is hooked up.
Now, the service-desk operators
have studied the tapes.
As soon as a voice calls in
that sounds like this guy
we're gonna
respond as a team.
Now, I want you guys to
cover all the boxes
in both directions
for a distance of three miles.
Is that clear?
You said, uh,
tracing equipment?
I'll lock the line open
and start the trace
when the operator
gives me the signal.
This will tell us really
what box he's using.
Then why bother checking
the other boxes?
Well, these traces
take time.
We'll try to keep him talking,
but if we can't, uh
hopefully, one of our team
will be able to spot him.
Looks like we're gonna
need a lot of luck.
Yeah, and I want you
to remember this, all of you.
He's always out there.
Every time one of
these things goes down
one of those
people close by..
...is him.
Now, uh, Baker here, is gonna
take charge of the detail
and figure out
some tactics.
Incidentally, Baker,
you gotta pay
more attention
to your appearance.
Your uniform's a mess.
Sarge, he almost got
killed out there today.
No, I didn't. I just skinned
my elbow a little bit.
Well, what happened?
He had to lay
his bike down.
Frank, he skinned his elbow.
Not his vocal cords.
The only damage is
to the shirt, sarge.
The only other problem
is mother here
won't stay off
my back about it.
I'm just trying to
get him to have it X-rayed.
For the good
of the department.
Well, that's good thinking,
Frank. That's a good attitude.
Baker, get over to Orthopedic
and have it X-rayed.
Uh, Valley General
would be better.
Uh, they specialize in
arms and elbows there.
Ah, but it's all the same to me.
But, uh, stop on the way
and change your uniform, okay?
- Alright.
- Okay.
Go ahead.
[phone rings]
Yeah, briefing,
Sergeant Getraer.
[dramatic music]
[knocking]
Well, the next time you go out
when you're not home
will you lock the door, please?
Um, I was in a hurry,
Sarah. I'm sorry.
Had a job interview.
Where?
Uh...at a warehouse.
What warehouse?
[Walter]
'There you go again!
You're always doing that to me!'
You make me feel like I'm back
in the joint with some screw
following me around to make
sure everything I do.
You're not
my sister, Sarah.
[Walter]
'You're a warden.'
I am your sister,
and I'm interested.
All I said was
"what warehouse?"
It's not really what
you wanna know, is it?
Hmm?
What you really
wanna know is
have I been popping any
fire-alarm boxes again.
- Right?
- No.
You did your time, you've paid
for that and you promised me.
What I wanna know is
did you got the job?
No!
I didn't go near any
fire-alarm boxes either.
How's that grab you? Hmm.
Walt...you just can't
stay shut in here
with a father who's
been dead since you were six.
[Sarah]
'You're 23 years old.'
But you said that..
...you wanted me here.
That's right.
And this is home.
Time is passing, Walt.
You've got to do something
with your life.
I'll, uh..
I'll get a job.
It just has to be the right one.
[dramatic music]
California Highway Patrol.
Uh...there's a, uh,
huge brush fire
burning along the San Diego
Freeway near Bel Air.
Uh, both sides of
the freeway are going up.
- It's spreading fast.
- Don't hang up, sir.
I need the number of
the box you're calling from.
It's SD 426.
[suspenseful music]
[instrumental music]
[sirens wailing]
[engine revving]
[siren wailing]
[instrumental music]
I was writing up a trucker
less than a 100 yards
from the call box 426.
But I didn't see the guy.
Or anything else
that'd help.
Well, at least you knew
it was a false alarm.
He sounded for real.
He always does.
Like it's really happening.
Yeah.
Well, maybe it is to him. Okay.
[speaking indistinctly]
Uh...nothing, huh?
Uh, Bar caught this one
before it got out of hand.
- Okay. Go write up a report.
- Okay.
Sarge, uh, I think we should
ask the public for help.
I mean, they do
see things out there.
That's a good idea, Jon.
In fact, it's such
a good idea
the captain thought
of it this morning.
Hmm, well, I figured
I gave him enough time, huh.
Look, the phone company's
tracing equipment
is due to be ready
at 8 in the morning.
At 8:00 a.m. I want
you and your team to bear down.
'Let's nail this guy.'
California Highway Patrol.
A-A helicopter crashed
on the freeway.
It's terrible.
I think I've got him.
- Are you there?
- Yes, sir, I am.
I need to know the number of
the box you're calling from.
Uh, it's, uh...SD 248.
Is anyone but the pilot hurt?
No. No, I think he was alone.
[suspenseful music]
[woman on radio]
'All San Diego Freeway units'
'we have a helicopter down at
the Santa Monica interchange.'
'11-41 and fire units
are responding.'
'15, 7 Mary 3 and Mary 4'
'7 Mary 5'
'7 Adam and 7 David.'
'The call is
a possible false alarm.'
'Respond as planned.'
LA, 7 Mary 3 and 4
will respond.
LA, 7 Adam from Bundy.
[engine revving]
[dramatic music]
H-here they come.
There's two coming.
[engine revving]
LA 15, 7 Mary 4
10-97, helicopter crash.
Santa Monica and national.
Continue rolling
fire unit and ambulance.
They said there'd
be an ambulance.
Well, they're coming.
[fire crackling]
It's blood.
You get the box?
- What box?
- Rh-negative.
BPTC.
Thank you very much, sir.
[engine revving]
There's a kid
at Valley General.
A hemophiliac.
'He's in surgery.'
- He'll die.
- No, he won't.
Just take it easy, alright?
We'll take care of it.
[engines revving]
Hey, Ponch. Get him out of here,
okay? Before this chopper blows.
Alright, guys,
pick him up carefully
and put him
on the shoulder.
Folks. Folks, listen up.
You gotta get behind the cars.
Come on, now, get back.
Let's move.
Still somebody in there?
Yeah, a box of rare blood
he's flying up from San Diego.
This bird's
gonna blow, Jon.
[dramatic music]
[Frank]
'Watch your fingers.'
Alright.
Ow, it's wedged in there.
Oh, there, wedge it.
Wedge it a little more.
Okay, I got it. Let's go.
[chopper flares]
[sirens wailing]
[suspenseful music]
[tires screeching]
[engine revving]
[intense music]
[sirens wailing]
[siren wailing]
[siren wailing]
Doctor?
Got a box of rare blood here.
Where the heck you guys been?
That kid could've died.
Name's, uh, Jon Baker.
You know yours?
Uh-huh.
- Officer egg-in-the-face.
- Really?
Hey, uh..
...look, I'm sorry
I got so upset.
You people probably saved
that little boy's life.
Thanks.
[instrumental music]
Uh, listen, uh, you go ahead.
Uh, I'll wait here.
Listen, uh, can you direct.
Oh, Miss Wayburn.
Oh, hi.
It's giving you trouble,
isn't it?
Oh, my elbow?
No, uh..
...my partner,
my sergeant, yeah.
I-I have to file a report, you
know, and take an X-ray, yeah.
Okay. Terrific.
Why don't you sit down here,
and I'll get the information.
Oh, wait a minute.
Let me see if the room's free.
Swell.
Why don't we get
the pictures now
and, I'll get the
information later, okay?
Yeah, okay.
[indistinct chatter]
[footsteps]
Well, I must say, you have
a very photogenic elbow.
Got your name.
Jon Baker. Right?
Uh, no, it's J-O-N. Heh.
Oh.
Your address?
[indistinct chatter]
How about that?
We're both Leos.
Yeah. Stubborn,
bossy and independent.
- And passionate.
- Yeah. When aroused. Heh.
I need your
place of birth.
Oh, uh...Rollins, Wyoming.
You're kidding.
I'm from
Soda Springs, Idaho.
What? Hey, that's
great trout fishing.
The best. You know Bear Lake?
I used to go there all the time.
Yeah. Heh.
Oh, uh...how long
you been in LA?
[Wayburn]
'Oh, four years.'
Took my degree at UCLA
and just stayed.
Someday, I'm going
back home though.
With all that
good clean air.
Ah, you'll probably marry some
doctor and settle in the smog.
It's not what
I'm planning on.
Yeah, those are
the things that happen.
Things we're
not planning on.
[Frank]
'Hey, how we doing here?'
Oh, uh, you remember
my partner, Ponch? Heh.
Of course. How are you?
Uh, excuse me.
- For you, Miss Wayburn.
- For me? Thank you, Mark.
Oh, I wonder who..
She shoot your best side?
Oh, Jon.
[Wayburn]
'Oh, how sweet.
They're beautiful.'
W-what a lovely surprise.
Yeah, well, uh, something you
weren't planning on, right?
Excuse me, I'll get
something to put these in.
Jon...I am.
And you're welcome.
Huh. Oh, now, what did
she mean by that?
What did the note say?
It says, "it's nice
to know someone
"who's concerned about me.
Thanks, Jon."
- Too personal.
- You don't like her?
- I didn't say that.
- You do like her?
Well, what if I do?
Flowers set me back 9 bucks.
Yeah, well, it's, uh,
nice to know someone
that's concerned about me.
Thanks.
[intense music]
[knocking]
[knocking]
What is it?
You gonna watch TV?
No, why?
Huh, I wanted to watch a show if
you weren't gonna use the set.
In other words, I get out. Hmm?
No. You can carry
the set to my room.
You're always talking
to me like I'm a little kid.
You're the little kid, Sarah.
Like dad was still here
to do things for you
and spoil you.
Do you wanna take the set
to my room or not?
You can watch it in here.
I'm going out.
He's with the sergeant, and
I thought we'd better catch you
before you make
other plans.
Right.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Great, uh, we'll
pick you up at 7:30.
What a night this is gonna be.
Gourmet food, fine wine,
soft music.
Ruth and I are doubling
with you and Karen.
Surprised?
It's all arranged.
I just talked to Karen.
Oh, without a word to me?
Well, you like her,
don't you?
And I made reservations
at a great new spot.
A real classy restaurant, Jon.
She'll really be impressed.
Okay, sure.
I'm sorry.
Um, I'll call it off.
[instrumental music]
[laughing]
- Good evening, sir.
- Good evening. Poncherello.
- Reservations for four?
- Yes, sir.
Uh, it'll be
about 20 minutes.
If you'll please have a seat at
the bar, I'll be only too happy
to call you
when your table's ready.
Oh, good evening,
Mr. Rainey.
Hello, Andre.
I know I'm early but--
oh, no, no, no. No problem.
No problem at all.
Uh, this way, please.
Watch your step.
What is this?
We're on time.
They're early.
They get a table.
And we wait?
Yes, sir?
We decided not
to wait in the bar.
We'd like
our table...now.
Of course.
Uh...your name
again, please.
- Poncherello.
- Poncherello.
Poncherello, Poncherello.
Uh, I'm terribly sorry
but I don't
have a Poncherello listed here.
- It's under your thumb.
- Sir?
Uh, it's under your thumb.
[laughs]
Of course, Mr. Poncherello.
Well, if you'd be so kind
to us to have a seat
at the bar, I'll call you later.
Uh, sorry, sir, no way.
Will you show us to a table, or
shall we just pick one we like?
- Huh?
- Oh.
Well, certainly,
Mr. Poncherello. Oh!
I see your table's ready now.
Uh, this way please.
Right this way.
Well, I think you guys handled
that beautifully, both of you.
Yeah, you really did.
Well, we just don't like people
trying to take advantage.
Well, how are we gonna handle
this menu? It's all in French.
[clears throat]
Good evening.
Would monsieur like to
consult the wine list?
Or we have an excellent house
wine, Chateau Bordeaux,1969.
Oh, '69? Uh, that would be fine.
Mm. Why don't we start
with Escargot?
I was just gonna
suggest that.
Why don't we all
start with Escargot?
Yeah, anything you say.
I'm just hungry. Heh.
Voila..
...your Escargot.
- Enjoy.
- Mm.
Merci.
[Ruth]
'Mm. Don't they smell divine?'
You know...there is something
about French cooking.
[Karen]
'I wish I could get
the hang of it. I can't.'
'And my mother was French.'
'I don't know, it's
some kind of instinct.'
'And I don't have it.'
Mm. Oh, Ponch...
these are delicious.
[Karen]
'Aren't they, Jon?'
Yeah, the-they're not bad.
Really, they're not bad.
Ahem. Yeah, but, uh
just a shade
too much garlic.
Yeah, that was a good idea,
Ponch, Escargot.
I kind of thought
you'd like it.
[Jon]
'Ponch.'
- Oh, it's delicious.
- Mm-hmm.
Ladies and gentlemen.
- Quail à l'orange.
- Mm.
Quail à l'orange--
It's, um, quail baked
in an orange glaze.
It's really delicious.
You'll love it.
Uh, well, I hope so.
I'm starved.
Bon appétit.
Oh. Heh. I don't think
I can eat this.
I used to raise parakeets
when I was a kid.
Um...anybody for a drumstick?
Oh, Ponch.
[laughing]
[tires squealing]
[dog barking]
[engine revving]
[sighs]
Well, I honestly did
expect at least two quail.
Yeah, they're really delicious,
uh, but a guy could eat at least
a dozen of 'em, you know?
Well, next time, we'll know.
[sighs]
And thanks, uh,
I did have fun.
That's okay. I had a good time
too. Thank you very much.
- Um, listen, I'd ask you in--
- Oh, that's alright.
Listen, I-I gotta
get going. Uh. Heh.
[dramatic music]
Will, um..
...we'll see each other again?
[engine revving]
You do look a whole lot better.
[tires screeching]
Jeff. Jeff, come get this
thing out of my car.
[tires screeching]
[engine revving]
Whoever left that sure
must have been in a hurry.
Yeah.
I'll move it
out of the way.
LA 15, 7 Mary 3,
uh, got an 11-24
on the 1500 block
of 8th avenue.
Request a 10-28 on
Sam, Queen, Zebra, 280.
[woman on radio]
'15, 7 Mary 3, 10-4.'
[intense music]
Jon?
[hissing]
Jon!
Jon!
[hissing]
Jon?
[honking]
[horn blaring]
There's a snake in here.
Get me out.
Okay, unlock the door.
It's jammed. Yank it open.
Okay, push your
shoulder into it.
[metal clanging]
Ugh, it's got me.
I didn't know you like snakes.
I hate him,
and he knows it.
Oh, he's getting
ready to bite me.
No, he's a Boa constrictor.
They don't bite.
They just, uh, squeeze and..
...of course,
then they swallow you.
Don't try to cheer me up,
partner.
Just get him off me.
Get him off me.
Oh, he's really hanging on, man.
I think he likes you.
I think he'd like to
have me for lunch.
Go, whoa, yeah.
There we go.
[moans]
- What are you guys doing?
- Stand back, son.
You leave him alone. He's mine.
Me leave him alone?
Oh, you big boy.
Oh, come here.
Oh. Oh.
Don't worry.
I won't let 'em hurt you.
It's okay, Ralphie.
Ralphie?
I know what you mean.
He scares me to pieces.
Well, you shouldn't carry him
around loose in the car.
We don't.
I left him in there,
so I can clean out his cage.
Yeah, hey, nobody
likes a dirty snake.
[female #3]
'I'm sorry it happened.'
Believe me, it won't again.
That's alright.
There's no harm done, ma'am.
By the way, your keys
are in the car.
Whoa.
[woman on radio]
'15, 42, 11-82'
'Westbound San Bernardino
freeway East of..'
'Vehicle into
the center divider.'
Oh, thanks.
Were you guys scared?
No, heh. No, uh.
We, uh..
I was scared I might hurt him.
We don't know that
much about snakes.
Oh, well, why don't you come by
sometime? I'll teach you.
Hey, that's a good idea.
A real good idea, Ponch.
Hey, uh, why don't
you take him inside?
Might catch cold.
Come on.
[engine revving]
[dramatic music]
California Highway Patrol.
Hello?
Uh, yeah, uh,
San Diego freeway 255.
Alright, sir.
Yeah, a greyhound bus
w-went over the overpass
on the freeway.
It's awful.
[woman on radio]
'Greyhound bus involved'
'7 Mary 3 and Mary 4,
implement the special detail.'
Bingo!
Two-five-three.
Seven Mary 3,
the false alarm was
called in from San Diego 253.
[suspenseful music]
[intense music]
[tires screeching]
[tires screeching]
[engine revving]
Stay away. Don't come near me.
Okay. Just take it easy,
alright?
Aw, man, come on.
What are you doing out there?
Come on back here.
Get away. I mean it.
Hey, I'm only trying
to help you.
Why don't you let me do that?
It's my job.
No!
LA 15, 7 Mary 3
we need assistance
for a victim.
[intense music]
No!
[Ponch grunts]
No!
[grunts]
Uh, no!
No, no, no!
No, no, no.
No.
[grunts]
[gasping]
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
I, uh, I don't know..
...why I did that.
I really don't want to die.
You're lucky we weren't
answering some false alarm.
[instrumental music]
I'm sorry.
Hey, you know, we're going
to see "MadameButterfly"
a Japanese opera
written by an Italian
sung in Spanish and
translated by a Puerto Rican
who insists that we have a
French dinner before we go.
Now that's love.
[laughing]
Oh, I hope we have more
of whatever this is
than, uh,
that poor quail.
Hey, you said you'd
trust me to order, right?
- Have I ever let you down?
- Yeah, well.
I'll tell you in a minute.
Voila.
[speaking French]
[Frank]
'Cheeseburgers.'
Side of fries.
Hey, now, that's what
I call a French dinner.
[laughing]
Uh, waiter?
Bring us some ketchup.
[clears throat]
[theme music]
[music continues]
'8 David, 10-19 contact--'
[Frank]
'I don't believe this.'
One combination burrito.
Two tacos. You got that?
[female #1]
'Maybe if you speak louder.'
One combination burrito,
uh, two tacos
a large chocolate shake,
and a large milk, please.
[female #1]
'Thank you, sir.'
'Contact the occupant'
'regarding an alleged
hit and run.'
[instrumental music]
California Highway Patrol.
Yeah, a, uh
a big gas truck just
rolled over onto some cars.
[man #1]
'People are hurt.
There's gasoline everywhere.'
'Just send help quick.'
We will, sir,
but don't hang up.
I need the number of
the box you're calling from.
SD 285.
San Diego Freeway 285?
Yeah, and, hurry!
[dramatic music]
[engine revving]
[female over radio]
'Attention all San Diego
Freeway units'
'we have an 11-80
involving a gas tanker'
'with leaking gasoline.'
'Southbound San Diego Freeway
at Sunset.'
'All responding
units identify.'
LA, 7 Adam responding.
[engine revving]
Here goes our lunch.
Sounds bad.
LA, 7 Mary
3 and 4 responding.
[female over radio]
'Ten-four, 7 Mary 3.'
[engine revving]
[upbeat music]
[siren wailing]
[upbeat music]
[engine revving]
[siren wailing]
[sirens wailing]
[suspenseful music]
[tires screeching]
[crashes]
Jon, are you okay?
Yeah, I'm alright.
Give me a hand, would you?
Help me
with the bike?
Yeah.
Oh, I'm so sorry.
I skidded in the water.
Are you alright?
Yeah, there's no harm. I just
dirtied my uniform a little bit.
Oh, you tore your sleeve.
You are hurt.
It's just
a little scrape.
Hey, I'm sorry
It isn't worse. Heh.
Well, at least you didn't
have to ring for a nurse.
Yeah, you, uh, better move
the car out of the way, okay?
Oh, okay.
Ponch, you wanna
give me a hand with this?
Come on.
One, two, three.
[indistinct]
[engine revving]
What, we get
the...wrong location?
Baricza's checking.
We know there's
nothing Southbound.
Yeah, well, take a look
North up to Mulholland.
Yeah.
[engine revving]
[suspenseful music]
[instrumental music]
[theme music]
[music continues]
[music continues]
[music continues]
Not even a fender-bender
South of us.
Alright.
- Hey, Baricza.
- Yeah?
- Come here and take over.
- Okay, sarge.
[man #1]
'Let's go.'
[Baricza]
'Okay, let's go.
Move it on up.'
'Come on, keep it moving.
Nice and easy.'
[sighs]
[Baricza]
'Come on, VW,
let's go, let's go.'
Okay, I want you
to clear this up.
Then I want you, Fritz,
Baricza, Poncherello and Baker
back in my office
for a special assignment.
- Tell them.
- Yes, sir.
[engine revving]
[Baricza]
'Come on. Let's move it.
Let's keep it moving.'
[engine revving]
[man #2]
'Come on, move out.'
Come on, bro, let's go.
Move it up here.
Let's go.
[woman on radio]
'Attention all
San Diego units'
'responding to
an 11-79 at Sunset, 10-22.'
Well, that takes care
of the emergency.
Yeah.
Then there's
no rush, right?
Right.
Listen..
...I'm an X-ray technician at
the Valley General Hospital.
And..
...well, that elbow could
very well be chipped.
[female #2]
'You should really come in
and have an X-ray made.'
[Frank]
'Hey, that's a
great idea, Jon.'
When it comes
to bones..
...you never know, right?
- Right.
- Hey, listen, the arm's fine.
But if it gives me any trouble,
I'll drop in, okay?
Now, uh, you have a nice day,
Miss Wayburn?
Alright. You too.
[engine revving]
I can't believe it.
You just rolled out of
a foxy lady's life.
- Naturally.
- Naturally?
There's nothing
natural about it.
There was an attraction
between you two, man.
[Frank]
'I could feel it.'
Ponch, you should be
writing soap operas.
[Baricza]
'Okay, keep it moving.
Let's go.'
'Come on, buddy.
Don't sit there all day.'
'These people gotta
go somewhere. Let's go.'
Hey, Baker. Why don't you look
for a different laundry?
Not funny, Bariczs.
- He hurt his elbow.
- Well, he's tough.
I didn't hurt my elbow.
I just skinned it a little bit.
Hey, guys, Getraer wants
to see us in his office
as soon as we get back.
[Grossman]
'Keep it moving. Come on.'
Listen, at least have
the elbow X-rayed, Jon.
You got the advice
from a specialist.
An interested expert.
Ponch, that was purely
professional interest,
alright?
You misread it.
[Grossman]
'Come on, move it up.'
[engine revving]
Uh, yeah, from the tapes,
it sounds like the same guy
who called in the phony
school bus explosion last week.
Uh, look, I'm, uh,
sorry, that's all I have.
Right. Bye.
But why does the guy give
the wrong box number
when he calls in?
Probably because
if anybody spots him
he's not at a box
we all know about.
And that's how
he gets his kicks.
If I get my hands on him,
he'll get a kick.
Okay, for those of you
who haven't met him
this is, uh, Jay Higgins
from the phone company.
Hey.
This is a special
assignment task force.
We have a plan
that we're gonna implement
first thing in the morning,
as soon as the
tracing equipment
is hooked up.
Now, the service-desk operators
have studied the tapes.
As soon as a voice calls in
that sounds like this guy
we're gonna
respond as a team.
Now, I want you guys to
cover all the boxes
in both directions
for a distance of three miles.
Is that clear?
You said, uh,
tracing equipment?
I'll lock the line open
and start the trace
when the operator
gives me the signal.
This will tell us really
what box he's using.
Then why bother checking
the other boxes?
Well, these traces
take time.
We'll try to keep him talking,
but if we can't, uh
hopefully, one of our team
will be able to spot him.
Looks like we're gonna
need a lot of luck.
Yeah, and I want you
to remember this, all of you.
He's always out there.
Every time one of
these things goes down
one of those
people close by..
...is him.
Now, uh, Baker here, is gonna
take charge of the detail
and figure out
some tactics.
Incidentally, Baker,
you gotta pay
more attention
to your appearance.
Your uniform's a mess.
Sarge, he almost got
killed out there today.
No, I didn't. I just skinned
my elbow a little bit.
Well, what happened?
He had to lay
his bike down.
Frank, he skinned his elbow.
Not his vocal cords.
The only damage is
to the shirt, sarge.
The only other problem
is mother here
won't stay off
my back about it.
I'm just trying to
get him to have it X-rayed.
For the good
of the department.
Well, that's good thinking,
Frank. That's a good attitude.
Baker, get over to Orthopedic
and have it X-rayed.
Uh, Valley General
would be better.
Uh, they specialize in
arms and elbows there.
Ah, but it's all the same to me.
But, uh, stop on the way
and change your uniform, okay?
- Alright.
- Okay.
Go ahead.
[phone rings]
Yeah, briefing,
Sergeant Getraer.
[dramatic music]
[knocking]
Well, the next time you go out
when you're not home
will you lock the door, please?
Um, I was in a hurry,
Sarah. I'm sorry.
Had a job interview.
Where?
Uh...at a warehouse.
What warehouse?
[Walter]
'There you go again!
You're always doing that to me!'
You make me feel like I'm back
in the joint with some screw
following me around to make
sure everything I do.
You're not
my sister, Sarah.
[Walter]
'You're a warden.'
I am your sister,
and I'm interested.
All I said was
"what warehouse?"
It's not really what
you wanna know, is it?
Hmm?
What you really
wanna know is
have I been popping any
fire-alarm boxes again.
- Right?
- No.
You did your time, you've paid
for that and you promised me.
What I wanna know is
did you got the job?
No!
I didn't go near any
fire-alarm boxes either.
How's that grab you? Hmm.
Walt...you just can't
stay shut in here
with a father who's
been dead since you were six.
[Sarah]
'You're 23 years old.'
But you said that..
...you wanted me here.
That's right.
And this is home.
Time is passing, Walt.
You've got to do something
with your life.
I'll, uh..
I'll get a job.
It just has to be the right one.
[dramatic music]
California Highway Patrol.
Uh...there's a, uh,
huge brush fire
burning along the San Diego
Freeway near Bel Air.
Uh, both sides of
the freeway are going up.
- It's spreading fast.
- Don't hang up, sir.
I need the number of
the box you're calling from.
It's SD 426.
[suspenseful music]
[instrumental music]
[sirens wailing]
[engine revving]
[siren wailing]
[instrumental music]
I was writing up a trucker
less than a 100 yards
from the call box 426.
But I didn't see the guy.
Or anything else
that'd help.
Well, at least you knew
it was a false alarm.
He sounded for real.
He always does.
Like it's really happening.
Yeah.
Well, maybe it is to him. Okay.
[speaking indistinctly]
Uh...nothing, huh?
Uh, Bar caught this one
before it got out of hand.
- Okay. Go write up a report.
- Okay.
Sarge, uh, I think we should
ask the public for help.
I mean, they do
see things out there.
That's a good idea, Jon.
In fact, it's such
a good idea
the captain thought
of it this morning.
Hmm, well, I figured
I gave him enough time, huh.
Look, the phone company's
tracing equipment
is due to be ready
at 8 in the morning.
At 8:00 a.m. I want
you and your team to bear down.
'Let's nail this guy.'
California Highway Patrol.
A-A helicopter crashed
on the freeway.
It's terrible.
I think I've got him.
- Are you there?
- Yes, sir, I am.
I need to know the number of
the box you're calling from.
Uh, it's, uh...SD 248.
Is anyone but the pilot hurt?
No. No, I think he was alone.
[suspenseful music]
[woman on radio]
'All San Diego Freeway units'
'we have a helicopter down at
the Santa Monica interchange.'
'11-41 and fire units
are responding.'
'15, 7 Mary 3 and Mary 4'
'7 Mary 5'
'7 Adam and 7 David.'
'The call is
a possible false alarm.'
'Respond as planned.'
LA, 7 Mary 3 and 4
will respond.
LA, 7 Adam from Bundy.
[engine revving]
[dramatic music]
H-here they come.
There's two coming.
[engine revving]
LA 15, 7 Mary 4
10-97, helicopter crash.
Santa Monica and national.
Continue rolling
fire unit and ambulance.
They said there'd
be an ambulance.
Well, they're coming.
[fire crackling]
It's blood.
You get the box?
- What box?
- Rh-negative.
BPTC.
Thank you very much, sir.
[engine revving]
There's a kid
at Valley General.
A hemophiliac.
'He's in surgery.'
- He'll die.
- No, he won't.
Just take it easy, alright?
We'll take care of it.
[engines revving]
Hey, Ponch. Get him out of here,
okay? Before this chopper blows.
Alright, guys,
pick him up carefully
and put him
on the shoulder.
Folks. Folks, listen up.
You gotta get behind the cars.
Come on, now, get back.
Let's move.
Still somebody in there?
Yeah, a box of rare blood
he's flying up from San Diego.
This bird's
gonna blow, Jon.
[dramatic music]
[Frank]
'Watch your fingers.'
Alright.
Ow, it's wedged in there.
Oh, there, wedge it.
Wedge it a little more.
Okay, I got it. Let's go.
[chopper flares]
[sirens wailing]
[suspenseful music]
[tires screeching]
[engine revving]
[intense music]
[sirens wailing]
[siren wailing]
[siren wailing]
Doctor?
Got a box of rare blood here.
Where the heck you guys been?
That kid could've died.
Name's, uh, Jon Baker.
You know yours?
Uh-huh.
- Officer egg-in-the-face.
- Really?
Hey, uh..
...look, I'm sorry
I got so upset.
You people probably saved
that little boy's life.
Thanks.
[instrumental music]
Uh, listen, uh, you go ahead.
Uh, I'll wait here.
Listen, uh, can you direct.
Oh, Miss Wayburn.
Oh, hi.
It's giving you trouble,
isn't it?
Oh, my elbow?
No, uh..
...my partner,
my sergeant, yeah.
I-I have to file a report, you
know, and take an X-ray, yeah.
Okay. Terrific.
Why don't you sit down here,
and I'll get the information.
Oh, wait a minute.
Let me see if the room's free.
Swell.
Why don't we get
the pictures now
and, I'll get the
information later, okay?
Yeah, okay.
[indistinct chatter]
[footsteps]
Well, I must say, you have
a very photogenic elbow.
Got your name.
Jon Baker. Right?
Uh, no, it's J-O-N. Heh.
Oh.
Your address?
[indistinct chatter]
How about that?
We're both Leos.
Yeah. Stubborn,
bossy and independent.
- And passionate.
- Yeah. When aroused. Heh.
I need your
place of birth.
Oh, uh...Rollins, Wyoming.
You're kidding.
I'm from
Soda Springs, Idaho.
What? Hey, that's
great trout fishing.
The best. You know Bear Lake?
I used to go there all the time.
Yeah. Heh.
Oh, uh...how long
you been in LA?
[Wayburn]
'Oh, four years.'
Took my degree at UCLA
and just stayed.
Someday, I'm going
back home though.
With all that
good clean air.
Ah, you'll probably marry some
doctor and settle in the smog.
It's not what
I'm planning on.
Yeah, those are
the things that happen.
Things we're
not planning on.
[Frank]
'Hey, how we doing here?'
Oh, uh, you remember
my partner, Ponch? Heh.
Of course. How are you?
Uh, excuse me.
- For you, Miss Wayburn.
- For me? Thank you, Mark.
Oh, I wonder who..
She shoot your best side?
Oh, Jon.
[Wayburn]
'Oh, how sweet.
They're beautiful.'
W-what a lovely surprise.
Yeah, well, uh, something you
weren't planning on, right?
Excuse me, I'll get
something to put these in.
Jon...I am.
And you're welcome.
Huh. Oh, now, what did
she mean by that?
What did the note say?
It says, "it's nice
to know someone
"who's concerned about me.
Thanks, Jon."
- Too personal.
- You don't like her?
- I didn't say that.
- You do like her?
Well, what if I do?
Flowers set me back 9 bucks.
Yeah, well, it's, uh,
nice to know someone
that's concerned about me.
Thanks.
[intense music]
[knocking]
[knocking]
What is it?
You gonna watch TV?
No, why?
Huh, I wanted to watch a show if
you weren't gonna use the set.
In other words, I get out. Hmm?
No. You can carry
the set to my room.
You're always talking
to me like I'm a little kid.
You're the little kid, Sarah.
Like dad was still here
to do things for you
and spoil you.
Do you wanna take the set
to my room or not?
You can watch it in here.
I'm going out.
He's with the sergeant, and
I thought we'd better catch you
before you make
other plans.
Right.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Great, uh, we'll
pick you up at 7:30.
What a night this is gonna be.
Gourmet food, fine wine,
soft music.
Ruth and I are doubling
with you and Karen.
Surprised?
It's all arranged.
I just talked to Karen.
Oh, without a word to me?
Well, you like her,
don't you?
And I made reservations
at a great new spot.
A real classy restaurant, Jon.
She'll really be impressed.
Okay, sure.
I'm sorry.
Um, I'll call it off.
[instrumental music]
[laughing]
- Good evening, sir.
- Good evening. Poncherello.
- Reservations for four?
- Yes, sir.
Uh, it'll be
about 20 minutes.
If you'll please have a seat at
the bar, I'll be only too happy
to call you
when your table's ready.
Oh, good evening,
Mr. Rainey.
Hello, Andre.
I know I'm early but--
oh, no, no, no. No problem.
No problem at all.
Uh, this way, please.
Watch your step.
What is this?
We're on time.
They're early.
They get a table.
And we wait?
Yes, sir?
We decided not
to wait in the bar.
We'd like
our table...now.
Of course.
Uh...your name
again, please.
- Poncherello.
- Poncherello.
Poncherello, Poncherello.
Uh, I'm terribly sorry
but I don't
have a Poncherello listed here.
- It's under your thumb.
- Sir?
Uh, it's under your thumb.
[laughs]
Of course, Mr. Poncherello.
Well, if you'd be so kind
to us to have a seat
at the bar, I'll call you later.
Uh, sorry, sir, no way.
Will you show us to a table, or
shall we just pick one we like?
- Huh?
- Oh.
Well, certainly,
Mr. Poncherello. Oh!
I see your table's ready now.
Uh, this way please.
Right this way.
Well, I think you guys handled
that beautifully, both of you.
Yeah, you really did.
Well, we just don't like people
trying to take advantage.
Well, how are we gonna handle
this menu? It's all in French.
[clears throat]
Good evening.
Would monsieur like to
consult the wine list?
Or we have an excellent house
wine, Chateau Bordeaux,1969.
Oh, '69? Uh, that would be fine.
Mm. Why don't we start
with Escargot?
I was just gonna
suggest that.
Why don't we all
start with Escargot?
Yeah, anything you say.
I'm just hungry. Heh.
Voila..
...your Escargot.
- Enjoy.
- Mm.
Merci.
[Ruth]
'Mm. Don't they smell divine?'
You know...there is something
about French cooking.
[Karen]
'I wish I could get
the hang of it. I can't.'
'And my mother was French.'
'I don't know, it's
some kind of instinct.'
'And I don't have it.'
Mm. Oh, Ponch...
these are delicious.
[Karen]
'Aren't they, Jon?'
Yeah, the-they're not bad.
Really, they're not bad.
Ahem. Yeah, but, uh
just a shade
too much garlic.
Yeah, that was a good idea,
Ponch, Escargot.
I kind of thought
you'd like it.
[Jon]
'Ponch.'
- Oh, it's delicious.
- Mm-hmm.
Ladies and gentlemen.
- Quail à l'orange.
- Mm.
Quail à l'orange--
It's, um, quail baked
in an orange glaze.
It's really delicious.
You'll love it.
Uh, well, I hope so.
I'm starved.
Bon appétit.
Oh. Heh. I don't think
I can eat this.
I used to raise parakeets
when I was a kid.
Um...anybody for a drumstick?
Oh, Ponch.
[laughing]
[tires squealing]
[dog barking]
[engine revving]
[sighs]
Well, I honestly did
expect at least two quail.
Yeah, they're really delicious,
uh, but a guy could eat at least
a dozen of 'em, you know?
Well, next time, we'll know.
[sighs]
And thanks, uh,
I did have fun.
That's okay. I had a good time
too. Thank you very much.
- Um, listen, I'd ask you in--
- Oh, that's alright.
Listen, I-I gotta
get going. Uh. Heh.
[dramatic music]
Will, um..
...we'll see each other again?
[engine revving]
You do look a whole lot better.
[tires screeching]
Jeff. Jeff, come get this
thing out of my car.
[tires screeching]
[engine revving]
Whoever left that sure
must have been in a hurry.
Yeah.
I'll move it
out of the way.
LA 15, 7 Mary 3,
uh, got an 11-24
on the 1500 block
of 8th avenue.
Request a 10-28 on
Sam, Queen, Zebra, 280.
[woman on radio]
'15, 7 Mary 3, 10-4.'
[intense music]
Jon?
[hissing]
Jon!
Jon!
[hissing]
Jon?
[honking]
[horn blaring]
There's a snake in here.
Get me out.
Okay, unlock the door.
It's jammed. Yank it open.
Okay, push your
shoulder into it.
[metal clanging]
Ugh, it's got me.
I didn't know you like snakes.
I hate him,
and he knows it.
Oh, he's getting
ready to bite me.
No, he's a Boa constrictor.
They don't bite.
They just, uh, squeeze and..
...of course,
then they swallow you.
Don't try to cheer me up,
partner.
Just get him off me.
Get him off me.
Oh, he's really hanging on, man.
I think he likes you.
I think he'd like to
have me for lunch.
Go, whoa, yeah.
There we go.
[moans]
- What are you guys doing?
- Stand back, son.
You leave him alone. He's mine.
Me leave him alone?
Oh, you big boy.
Oh, come here.
Oh. Oh.
Don't worry.
I won't let 'em hurt you.
It's okay, Ralphie.
Ralphie?
I know what you mean.
He scares me to pieces.
Well, you shouldn't carry him
around loose in the car.
We don't.
I left him in there,
so I can clean out his cage.
Yeah, hey, nobody
likes a dirty snake.
[female #3]
'I'm sorry it happened.'
Believe me, it won't again.
That's alright.
There's no harm done, ma'am.
By the way, your keys
are in the car.
Whoa.
[woman on radio]
'15, 42, 11-82'
'Westbound San Bernardino
freeway East of..'
'Vehicle into
the center divider.'
Oh, thanks.
Were you guys scared?
No, heh. No, uh.
We, uh..
I was scared I might hurt him.
We don't know that
much about snakes.
Oh, well, why don't you come by
sometime? I'll teach you.
Hey, that's a good idea.
A real good idea, Ponch.
Hey, uh, why don't
you take him inside?
Might catch cold.
Come on.
[engine revving]
[dramatic music]
California Highway Patrol.
Hello?
Uh, yeah, uh,
San Diego freeway 255.
Alright, sir.
Yeah, a greyhound bus
w-went over the overpass
on the freeway.
It's awful.
[woman on radio]
'Greyhound bus involved'
'7 Mary 3 and Mary 4,
implement the special detail.'
Bingo!
Two-five-three.
Seven Mary 3,
the false alarm was
called in from San Diego 253.
[suspenseful music]
[intense music]
[tires screeching]
[tires screeching]
[engine revving]
Stay away. Don't come near me.
Okay. Just take it easy,
alright?
Aw, man, come on.
What are you doing out there?
Come on back here.
Get away. I mean it.
Hey, I'm only trying
to help you.
Why don't you let me do that?
It's my job.
No!
LA 15, 7 Mary 3
we need assistance
for a victim.
[intense music]
No!
[Ponch grunts]
No!
[grunts]
Uh, no!
No, no, no!
No, no, no.
No.
[grunts]
[gasping]
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
I, uh, I don't know..
...why I did that.
I really don't want to die.
You're lucky we weren't
answering some false alarm.
[instrumental music]
I'm sorry.
Hey, you know, we're going
to see "MadameButterfly"
a Japanese opera
written by an Italian
sung in Spanish and
translated by a Puerto Rican
who insists that we have a
French dinner before we go.
Now that's love.
[laughing]
Oh, I hope we have more
of whatever this is
than, uh,
that poor quail.
Hey, you said you'd
trust me to order, right?
- Have I ever let you down?
- Yeah, well.
I'll tell you in a minute.
Voila.
[speaking French]
[Frank]
'Cheeseburgers.'
Side of fries.
Hey, now, that's what
I call a French dinner.
[laughing]
Uh, waiter?
Bring us some ketchup.
[clears throat]
[theme music]
[music continues]