Bones (2005–2017): Season 4, Episode 5 - The Crank in the Shaft - full transcript

[Electrical Tone] [Dings]

[Quiet Chattering]

[Man] Excuse me.
[Woman] Excuse me.

- ♪♪ [Muzak] -
[Sighs] Six, please.

[Man] I got it. [Elevator Dings]

- [Elevator Beeps]
- Sorry about that.

No. Is our coffee
machine still broken?

It was on Friday, and
I couldn't chance it.

Well, I filled out a 1612 Repair
Authorization for Office Equipment Under $200,

but I never heard back.

♪♪ [Rock, Muffled]
Man, this guitar is bitchin'.



- [Elevator Dings]
- I'm sorry.

Excuse me.

How's the third quarter P&L?

Oh, I processed a stack of orders
and returns with Patty on Friday.

She was still reviewing
them when I left.

[Sniffing]

[Sniffs]

[Sniffs] Oh.

- [Machinery Whirring] -
[Woman Shrieks] Oh, my God!

Oh, my God! What's going on?

[All Shouting]

[Man Groans] [Woman Shrieks]

- [All Gasping]
- [Gags]

[Sweets] The conscious mind represents
only one-sixth of our brain's activity.



Now I want you to both appreciate
the power of the subconscious...

- and our quest
for its secrets as we...
- Stop!

Dr. Brennan, you can't dismiss over a
hundred years of psychological research.

I'm not even actually listening.

Your leg has not stopped moving
since we started this session.

[Sighs] Something
you should've noticed.

I assumed he was anxious to
leave, as he is every session.

Yeah? Well, that's not it.

Okay, a guy at work, Special
Agent Graham Kelton, died last week.

- I'm so sorry.
- That's awful, Booth. Were you good friends?

- No. He was a creep.
- Oh.

So, then, your
agitation comes from...

Kelton had the best desk chair
in the office building, all right?

Lumbar support, cushioned
arms, Macintosh oak finish.

- And?
- And I want it!

I put a request in, but so
have all the other agents.

This is one sweet chair.

You are anxious that you
won't get a dead man's chair?

Right. Mine, it won't
even recline anymore.

Get this. Charlie Baron, okay?

He'd been putting requests in to Human
Resources even when Kelton was on his deathbed.

All right? Is that low, or what?

Hey, Bones, maybe you can write me a
doctor's note saying that I need the chair.

What? Yeah.

Something along the lines
that I got, like, a bad back...

and the lumbar support could
enhance my job performance.

- I'm not a medical doctor.
- [Scoffs]

- Uh, the answer's no.
- [Scoffs]

You're obviously trying to enhance
your status with your coworkers...

by acquiring something
that they all covet.

You want a throne.
Back support, okay?

I'm just looking for
a little back support.

- Perhaps you've been feeling
inadequate at work lately?
- [Cell Phone Rings]

Compensating in this... Booth.

Right. Be right there.

Well, got a case. See ya. Okay.

Agent Booth, I really think that we're
touching on something important here.

[Brennan] Thank you.

[Booth] If I could help you
get a better chair, I would.

Well, thank you. But if I wanted a better
office chair, I'd just buy one myself.

No, no. That's not
how it works, Bones.

When you work for the man,
he buys all the office furniture.

Which man? You're
kidding me, right?

There's no actual man. Then
who buys office furniture?

Never mind, Bones. Just never
mind. [Police Radio Chatter]

[Booth] Excuse us. Pardon
me. [Brennan] Sorry. So sorry.

[Brennan] Excuse us. [Booth] Oh,
coming through. That's it. Watch out.

Whoa! Whoa, look at that. [Man]
That's it, folks. Just take a step back.

Hey, Cam. You're a real
doctor. Maybe you could, uh,

do a pal a favor and write
me a note for my back.

- The chair?
- Yeah. This is a chance
for you to be creative.

- Uh, tell us about the leg.
- Given the pump, female victim.

The skin elasticity,
what's left of it,

indicates she was probably
between 20 and 40 years old.

Striations on the bone suggests
the flesh was scraped away.

[Saroyan] And the remaining soft
tissue appears to have been scavenged.

Whoa, whoa, whoa! What are
you thinking, huh? Little respect.

I wasn't taking a
photo of the leg.

I was taking her picture.

You're the most beautiful woman
I've ever seen in the elevator.

Back up there. Take him
outta here. Take care of him.

[Chuckles] Did you find
anything besides the leg?

The remains are smeared along
the entire length of the hoistway.

Oh! Oh, wow!

God, that... That's nasty.

Well, I'm gonna need a spatula to
scrape off all the flesh and the organs.

The bones are in hundreds of
pieces. I'll want them bagged.

Judging from the amount of
putrefactive liquid on top of the car,

she landed here first,
wedging up against the shaft.

So when it went
up and down, she...

Oh, that's not good.
That's bad. That's not good.

I don't see any
hemorrhagic tissue.

The victim was most likely
dead before she was put in here.

Well, fracturing indicates she
was dropped from quite a height.

It's the machine room. It has
the control system for the elevator.

Who has access to this
room? Only Maintenance.

But they only unlock it
when the elevator is serviced.

The lock's been jimmied. I
don't know how this happened.

- I run a safe building.
- Right. Except for
the mangled dead woman.

It's the first unit. Those
cables raise and lower the cars.

[Booth] Oh, look at this.

Okay. Huh?

So you think the, uh, victim's body
could've been, you know, pushed down there?

Looks pretty small.

But I've seen bodies carried down
storm drains narrower than that.

[Brennan] Who tries to hide a body
by throwing it down an elevator shaft?

Aha. Someone who's toasted.

[Saroyan] A joint. Huh.

I can get D.N.A. from the paper.

Well, marijuana
doesn't make you a killer.

Yeah. Well, it makes you stupid.

[Saroyan] Stupid enough to jam
someone down an elevator shaft?

Sad. Woman's whole life reduced
to a bunch of glorified sandwich bags.

Not the woman's life,
Fisher. Just her body.

- Big difference.
- Whatever gets you
through the day.

[Saroyan] What have we got?

Well, her clothes are shredded
and covered in particulates.

I'm still sorting through it all and pulling
traces to run through the G.C. mass spec.

Well, I've got the when.

Vitreous humor from an
eyeball confirms time of death...

sometime between Friday
night and Saturday morning.

And her final meal was
lettuce, yogurt, chicken and pita.

A gyro. Most likely.

I've got them checking Greek
restaurants in the neighborhood.

Maybe someone made
a delivery to her office.

Dead before the fall. Wish
we knew how she died.

Tox screen came back negative.

No drugs, no poison.
Not even caffeine.

So, ball's in your
court, Fisher.

Dr. Brennan left me with
exactly 1,263 bone fragments.

Each one screaming pain,
violence and hopelessness.

So how about cutting
me a little slack?

The job gets easier
with time, Mr. Fisher.

Any leads on who she is?

The hot chick is
doing a sketch...

from the few pieces of skull I
could locate and reconstruct.

- "Hot chick?"
- Sorry. The other hot chick.

It's a bow... with hair.

It's brown, natural colors.

It might help Angela
with her sketch.

Right. You should
give it to her.

I'm... kinda busy. And
I'm kinda your boss.

Anything else, Mr. Fisher?

I also found hairline
impact fissures...

on the lateral epicondyle.

And?

My grad thesis explored the
effect of falls on human bone.

I got the idea at my summer job.

- I'm afraid to ask.
- Suicide hotline.

Were you... for or against?

Hey, got a bow for you.

Look, Hodgins. We
both decided it's over.

I don't want any gifts. Um,
the bow's from the victim.

Oh. [Chuckles] Right.

[Clatters] Sorry. That's
helpful... that bow.

How's it coming? Well,
according to my sketch...

the victim was a
model for Picasso.

[Chuckles] Like it.

Mr. Cheerful's putting
more pieces together for me.

That's a good idea.

[Clears Throat] Just so
you know, uh, I'm cool.

You know, you and I, we
work together and... and that's it.

Great. We're two professionals.

Yep. Two professionals.

I should finish
this. 'Cause this is...

Yeah. Yeah. And, you
know, I've got lots to do.

I mean, lots. So...

- Okay.
- Okay.

From the impact fissures, I'd estimate
her fall was from at least 60 meters.

Okay, first of all, I doubt even Dr. Brennan
could discover that from impact fissures alone.

My thesis got me here. Ask her.

And, second, that doesn't
indicate what floor she fell from.

The elevator car could've been on any floor
in the building when she landed on it.

But since it's a 16-story building,
at about 10 feet per floor...

Eleven or 12, if you count the
space between floors. Right.

That's 252 feet. That
gives us 76.8 meters.

A difference of about 17 meters.

That's... Fifty-two feet.

Meaning she had to fall from the
top floor or the machine room above it.

Very impressive, Mr. Fisher.

[Sighs] Well, I'll still
wind up like her one day.

You ever think of finding
a girlfriend, Mr. Fisher?

I've got one.

Jill. She's very beautiful.

Yes... now.

Patty Hoyle. She's one of the people
who didn't check into the building.

Angela's sketch matches
the picture on her I.D. card.

What? So Cam is actually going to write
you a letter so you can get the chair?

That's right. She understands
how the game is played.

She works for the
same man as you.

That's right. The
man who doesn't exist.

Wow. Can you imagine
working in a place like this?

No. It's not sterile, and there's
no room for diagnostic equipment...

or sufficient bone
storage. No, Bones.

I meant the little cubicles. Look at
'em. They look like caged animals.

Throughout history, you can
find examples of human beings...

adapting to virtually
any environment.

Like you and the chair. Me?
Whoa! You're way off base.

Ziff-Young. Hold the line, please.
Ziff-Young. Hold the line, please.

Ziff-Young. Hold
the line, please.

- Ziff-Young. Hold the line, please. Oh.
- Thank you.

Did you find out who it was? The
whole building's been wondering.

I was there in the
elevator. It was horrible.

Slow down, okay? Uh, did
this woman show up to work?

Oh, Patty... Oh, my God.
Oh, my God, Patty? Really?

- It's Patty, Chip. It was Patty in the elevator.
- Oh, man.

We still have to verify
identity with dental records.

Hey, everybody! In the
elevator, it was Patty.

- No, not Patty. Pretty Patty?
- Whoa. Could you just
keep it quiet? Please?

What's going on?
What about Patty?

This is Patty's
area right over here.

Patty decorated
the place herself.

- Even painted the frogs.
- Lot of frogs.

- She was that kind of person.
- One who adjusted to
an impersonal workplace.

Nice chair.

We're gonna have to
look in her computer.

Whatever you need. Uh,
it's all company property.

I can get you the password.

So you last saw her on Friday?

She was still here when I left,
yeah. Working late as usual.

She-She was the best office
manager you can imagine.

See, Booth? Some people
accept their position as a drone.

Are you calling me a drone?
Well, it's not a pejorative statement.

Without the drones,
the hive would die.

Anyone else work here
late? Are you kidding?

I mean, when that clock hits
6:00, it's like the running of the bulls.

- Especially on Friday.
- Did Patty have any enemies?

Well, we all have to break a
few eggs to make an omelet.

Do you know if she caught any of
your employees smoking marijuana?

Marijuana? No.

So, no history of drug use here?

[Clears Throat]

Ted Russo was arrested last year
for smoking pot at a concert in the park.

But he is a good worker. He promised
me he hasn't touched the stuff since.

Ted? Yeah?

- Oh, hey, what's up?
- Ted, the leg found in
the elevator, it was Patty.

Oh, dude.

Agent Booth and Dr. Brennan
would like to ask you a few questions.

Hi, Ted.

We found the
remnants of a joint...

in the room where Patty could've
been pushed into the elevator shaft.

I don't smoke, man. My-My eyes look
like this 'cause I have allergies. [Sniffs]

We pulled D.N.A. from the
saliva on the cigarette paper.

Really? Mm-hmm.

We can get a court order
to take a sample from you.

All right. Sure, you know. I
smoke a little weed. Wouldn't you?

Locked up in these
veal pens all day.

You know, collating
invoices? I'm an artist, man.

But my dad cut me off. So without
this place, I'd starve to death.

What happened,
Ted? Patty catch you?

Threaten to fire you,
and you killed her?

Ted, if you think these
cubicles are small,

wait till you see the
inside of a cell, pal.

[Ted] How many times do I
have to say it? I didn't kill Patty.

Would you call her a friend?
She was the office manager, man.

You know, eyes always
on me, you know?

"Why are you using so
many envelopes, Russo?"

"Gee, like, maybe 'cause
I'm sending out letters?"

But I didn't kill her.

- Did you think
she was a bitch?
- No, I...

What? Here.

Right there. See
that? That's Patty's car.

"Bitch." That an
example. of your artwork?

No. Yeah, I didn't do that.

We found your roach in
the elevator machine room...

where we also found parts of
Patty's body crushed in the hoistway.

We found two weeks' worth of
invoices that you hadn't completed.

Maybe Patty caught
you? You keyed her car?

You went back to the machine
room for a quick toke and to chill.

Patty walks in on you, she catches
you, threatens your job. You kill her.

Dude, you are so off base.

Let me have your keys. Why?

Is that a no? 'Cause I'll
just go get a court order.

Oh, look at that. Thanks for
your cooperation. Wasn't too hard.

The depressed
intern is quite clever.

His analysis of the impact fissures supports
Booth's theory of where the body was dropped.

Great. [Sighs]

I don't know how to
act around Hodgins.

I... beg your pardon?

We just ended a relationship that was
intense, both emotionally and sexually.

Now rather than intense,
we're just... plain tense.

We don't look at each other.
Everything is fraught with meaning.

Brennan, you're
supposed to say something.

Oh, oh, I'm sorry. What
am I supposed to say?

Something that will
make me feel better.

Huh. Huh.

Um, well, both Hodgins
and you mean a lot to me.

But since you're my best friend,
I guess I could fire Hodgins.

What? No. Huh?

I-I-I don't want you to
fire him. Well, that's good.

Because I would have
disliked doing that.

Yeah. Of course.

Thank you, though, for the
offer. It was... It was very sweet.

- So I helped?
- Oh, absolutely, sweetie.

Thank you. It was...

Cam? [Water Running]

Hi. Listen, I appreciate
the doctor's note.

But you can't send it in.
Too late. That's just a copy.

This note, it makes
me sound like an invalid.

You want the chair, don't
you? No, I want to keep my job.

"Agent Booth suffers from
multi-level disk disease...

with herniation
of the L4-5 disk,

producing radi
'cululer'..." Radicular.

"radicular pain in a
sciatic distribution."

This letter's gonna get
me a gurney, not a chair.

I'm a coroner. Tell them I
confused you with a corpse.

Am I the only one
taking this seriously?

You are now. You're welcome.

You look bummed. What? No.

It's just sometimes answers pose
more questions than they answer.

Thus the melancholy. Did you
discover cause of death yet?

Life, man. Life is always
the cause of death.

Okay. Now you're just a
tool. Why are you here?

Well, I was hoping you could
maybe give me a little inspiration,

being a mentor and all.

All I have are the facts, man.

Initial particulate analysis
shows a thin layer...

of styrene acrylate
copolymer on her sweater.

It's, uh, copier toner.
She worked in an office.

She probably got dirty
changing a cartridge.

She was an office manager
wearing a cashmere sweater.

I doubt changing the
cartridge was her responsibility.

Not to mention, the toner dust
was all over her front and back.

Very cool.

She probably spent a little time
rolling around the copy room floor.

Huh.

Anything else? Yeah.

Yeah. There were some stains
on different sweater fragments...

consisting of hesparic
acid, ascorbic acid,

Citrus sinensis, furfural,
proteolytic enzyme, alcohol,

triarylmethane dye, a.k.a.
brilliant blue... It's a food coloring.

Do you think the stain
is relevant to the case?

Before I can answer that,
I need to know what it is.

I get it.

We live our lives in darkness
hoping for a sun that seldom shines...

Go away, Fisher.

Forensics analyzed
Ted Russo's keys.

There's no evidence of red
paint transfer from keying the car.

This is a very efficient work space. It affords
a minimum amount of human interaction...

so the workers can concentrate
solely on productivity.

[Booth Sighs] It's demoralizing.

Don't look at me like that.
I'm not some kind of a drone.

You have superiors to whom you
must report, protocols you must follow.

All of your actions are
documented and reviewed.

Look, I do not work for some
faceless bureaucracy, okay?

I work for the United States
government, and so do you.

Which makes you a drone too. No.

No, I'm a completely independent contractor
operating out of the Jeffersonian.

In the hive, I would
be the queen bee.

- Still in the hive!
- In which I am the queen.

Okay, what do we got? We found
dried toner in a section of the floor...

and fabric threads that might
match the victim's clothes.

Send them all to Dr. Hodgins
at the Jeffersonian.

[Muttering] Says the
queen bee. What?

- Nothing.
- [Brennan] Use the A.L.S. in this area.

Booth, the light?

Tell you what. I am gonna be
the king bee in my department.

There's no such thing as
a king bee. Sure there is.

And he's gonna have
the finest chair in the hive.

This area might
also have staining...

that could help Hodgins identify
what else was on the victim's clothes.

Remove this section of carpet
and send it to the lab. What is it?

[Cell Phone Ringing] I'm not sure.
Cam and Hodgins will have to check it.

The lights? Yeah, yeah.

Booth. Right.

Just send it to my
phone right away.

- What's going on?
- Computer forensics went through
the victim's hard drive.

Seems like she got a
really angry e-mail last week.

It's from somebody who
works here. Dave Farfield.

"You self-entitled bitch.
You are done playing with me.

You'll pay. Trust me.
Love and kisses, Dave."

[Brennan] Do you have an
employee named Dave Farfield?

- Yes. Well, actually no.
- Okay. Which is it?

Well, Dave worked here for eight
years. But he was let go last Thursday.

- You fired him?
- That's right.

- Oh, God.
- What?

Well, it was Patty. She told
me that Dave was a problem...

Disruptive, not doing his work.

So it was Patty
who got him fired?

She showed me an inflammatory
e-mail that he wrote to her.

And I agreed with
Patty. It wasn't right.

And Dave knew that he
was fired because of Patty?

Yes.

Oh, my.

I don't get it. Keying someone's
car is a federal offense now?

So you admit you did it? No.

But did you ever meet Patty?

Someone was just
accurately describing her.

I mean, what other kind of person would call
the F.B.I. because she had her car keyed?

Patty's dead, Dave.

Whoa. Wait a second.
Is that why I'm here?

Okay, look, sir, I admit
that I keyed her car.

But she purposefully parked across
the line so I couldn't get into my space.

I mean, every day, I would
have to squeeze the car in.

I scratched the whole
side of my Corolla.

- And that car was cherry.
- You hated her.

She got me fired because I
turned her in to the parking guards.

But it's not like I'm the
only one that didn't like her.

Your coworkers seemed to like
her. No, no. She drove us all crazy.

She docked Hamid's pay one time because he
put too much half-and-half in his coffee.

And then she had me reported
for excessive use of the Internet.

And I was the I.T. guy.

So where were you
Friday night, Dave?

I was at Paradise Isle.
I met Chip over there.

Chip? Chip's a guy from work.

I got a little tanked. I
bitched about getting fired.

Chip drove me home 'cause, like I said, I got
a little tanked. But I was home before 8:00.

You got an alibi after
that? I was online.

I was online playing
Knights of Atlantis.

You can check the log or ask, uh... uh,
Thrustkiller278 or, uh, Donnerparty819.

Right.

Her body sustained severe
postmortem damage...

Comminuted crush fractures of
the upper and lower extremities,

burst fractures of the
thoracic and lumbar vertebrae,

and sheering of the
spinous processes.

- Your reconstruction
looks good.
- It's incomplete. I suck.

This woman was mulched
in an elevator shaft.

Given her condition, I'm
impressed with your work.

Come on, Mr. Fisher.
Let me see a little smile.

That's the ticket.

I also found incomplete bilateral
compression fractures of ribs R3 to R11.

There's inward deformation
to the lateral aspects.

Curve patterns are consistent
with the outer edge of a shoe.

I looked at several sections of the epidermis
from the area of patterned abrasions.

Didn't find any hemorrhage
in the soft tissue.

So she was stomped postmortem.

Why stomp on someone when
they're already dead? Good question.

And I have another. Did you
figure out cause of death yet?

I told you, man. I suck.

Buck up, Mr. Fisher. You give me cause
of death, I give you a Kierkegaard T-shirt.

Hey. Hello.

Your fries look good.
You want some?

If you don't want 'em.
So I need some advice.

I have office hours, Miss
Montenegro. This is...

Look, how do I deal with
Hodgins? I mean, we broke up.

So I just want it
to be over with...

so I can get back to work
without all this unspoken drama.

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Well, uh, first, I think it's important
to find out what went wrong,

why you were involved in
an unsuccessful relationship.

Who said it was unsuccessful?
You're not together anymore, are you?

Do you love your parents? Yes.

But you don't live
together anymore.

Does that mean your relationship
with Mom and Dad was unsuccessful?

I don't think it's
the same. I do.

Sometimes you have to move
on, whatever your feelings.

When we create intimate
sexual relationships,

and if the relationship isn't
functioning the way it should,

one is left with anxiety and confusion
that will remain until dealt with.

Okay. So let's deal with it.

It's gonna take longer than us
sitting here for a few minutes.

We need to find out why you were
attracted to him in the first place.

He has kind eyes, great
sense of humor, cute ass...

He does this thing where... No.

No, um, I meant, what are those things in
your past that have led you to Dr. Hodgins...

and what he represents
to you as an archetype.

You know what? I'm
gonna look at my schedule.

But, uh, we should probably
start by meeting twice a week.

No. I think I'm okay.

Therapy can't be
rushed. Look, Sweets.

The way I look at it, if
I'm shot by an arrow,

I-I don't need to know
where the arrow was made,

or what kind of bow it came from
or even who it was who shot me.

I just need to get it
out of my chest. [Sighs]

So, thank you. This
has been helpful.

[Chuckles] You're good.

Mmm. Thanks for the fries.

Go ahead. Help yourself.

Found another mystery
stain on this piece of her skirt.

It's body fluid. So
it's your problem.

[Saroyan] What have we here?

Do you think I'm off my
game because of Angela?

Because of all this
residual stuff between us?

Every time I look at
her, I still think about...

Semen. What? No.

I was gonna say something
much more romantic than that.

- This stain, it's semen.
- Oh. Right.

I was also given a swatch of carpet from
the copy room that had a stain. Also semen.

Now we know the victim was
on the floor of the copy room...

and that there were semen stains
on the floor and now on her skirt?

My guess is the
stains will match.

[Booth] Patty Hoyle
ordered, uh, food Friday night.

Had it delivered to the office.
Guess whose credit card she used?

Well, I really don't have enough
data to make an educated guess.

Oh, her boss's. Gary Flannery.

[Elevator Dings] [Chattering]

So Cam is comparing the semen found on the
floor with the stain found on the skirt.

Mmm. It seems like pretty Patty was sleeping
her way up the food chain with the boss.

Flannery's married. Maybe she
threatened to expose the affair,

and he decided to kill
her to keep her quiet.

Just because tech support is in India
doesn't mean I get special treatment.

Patty knew that.
Just call them, please.

[Clears Throat] Excuse
me, Mr. Flannery.

I'd like to ask you a few questions
about your credit card statement.

And I'd like to ask him
for a D.N.A. sample. Now.

Patty was a valued
employee, and that is all.

Come on. Do you think I'm gonna
slam you for having a little fun?

It happens. Late-night meetings.

- A little cleavage.
- No. I'm a married man.

Then why did you give
her your credit card?

Uh, for the occasional
business expense.

- Room service, massage...
- Mmm.

Shiatsu... one hour... a purse,
300 dollars' worth of lingerie.

I was not having sex with Patty!

- Why did she have
your credit card?
- And semen on her skirt?

No!

[Murmurs]

Patty decided to run
an expendables audit.

All right? She wanted to
account for every damn pencil.

And she found out I was ordering extra office
supplies and selling to Surplus Online.

She was gonna
report me to corporate.

But she said she would keep her mouth
shut if I let her use my card now and then.

Oh, she had the whole
office under her thumb.

Knew everyone's
business, the sneaky bitch.

So she was blackmailing you.
That's not easy to stop, is it?

But I didn't kill her! Please.

You can't tell the head
office. I've got a family.

I could lose my job, my
health care, my pension!

Shut up. Open your mouth.

Ahh.

What have you found? The pelvis.

The anteroposterior
diameter is 160 millimeters.

Transverse diameter
is 240 millimeters.

Listen to me. [Chuckles]

Reducing the pelvic inlet, the
orifice of life, to a numerical abstract.

We need mathematical constructs to understand
any aspect of our world, Mr. Fisher.

And those figures and
equations are beautiful.

Like a musical composition,
they give life meaning...

and us the possibility of
knowing the unknowable.

Right.

There's no evidence that
the body was disarticulated...

prior to being shoved
down the chute.

So she either went
in headfirst or feet first.

Given that, I've cut a hole that corresponds
to the measurements of the chute.

There's only one problem.

Any way you turn
it, the pelvis won't fit.

So the body couldn't have
entered the shaft by that chute.

But since it still had to fall
a minimum of 60 meters...

It was dumped from the
16th floor. I'll call Booth.

D.N.A. results came back. The
two semen stains are a match...

The one from her skirt and the
one from the copy room floor.

But they're not
from the boss. Sorry.

- Hey.
- Hey.

Uh, hi.

Look, this tension
between us, I hate it.

I mean, I know that we
broke up and everything.

But I've experienced loss before
and lived through it. And you have too.

I'm not gonna pretend this didn't happen
because it might be easier that way.

I'm gonna relive us huddled last
winter in that cabin in Montana...

when the lights went out
and the heat went out...

and laughing our asses off when you tried
explaining that spectrometer thingy to me.

So I'm not gonna hide anymore.
And I'm not gonna walk on eggshells.

I'm just gonna accept that this
whole damn mess happened,

and, pain or not,
I'm glad it did.

Okay.

[Exhales] Right.

So Forensics didn't
find any prints?

[Sighs] No. Cleaning crew came in over the
weekend and wiped down the elevator doors.

Well, no blood. What's that?

What? That.

Those are my cupcakes. I got
'em for the H.R. officer at work.

- I heard she loves 'em.
- So fraud and bribery?

No, 12 years of service
and lumbar support, okay?

It's all a matter of perception.

[Scoffs] Okay.

Don't say it like that. "Okay,"
like I'm some kind of a kid.

Okay.

It's looking pretty good too,
Bones. I mean, Willie Ackerman?

He got cut off the list 'cause he
got his note from an acupuncturist.

And that doesn't
even count. Ha! Boob.

Watch out. I'm
gonna try this again.

Oh, man! Ah, forget it!

There's no way that I could keep
that open long enough to dump a body.

And I'm in shape. Must've been
someone that was stronger than you.

You're kidding me, right? Have
you seen the people in these offices?

Compared to them, I'm
Hercules. Oh, apparently not.

Maybe you do need that chair.

Or maybe it was two people.

1,263 bone fragments,

and I've checked every
single one of them.

The only cause of death I see is
on the squamous temporal bone.

The localized staining would be
consistent with blunt-force trauma.

Except there's no sign of
that on the exterior of the skull.

Then it was probably caused
by a ruptured aneurysm.

Which would make
her death an accident.

And our pursuit for a villain merely
a cry for justice in an unjust world.

But if it's an accident, it wouldn't
account for the elevator or the semen.

True. [Sighs]

I should've found
that earlier. [Sighs]

Dr. Brennan's gonna
fire me, isn't she?

I guess, while I was trying
to see the metaphorical sun,

I totally forgot that the chances of
survival in an unfriendly cosmos...

- Have you considered
Prozac, Mr. Fisher?
- Already on it.

Then double your dose.
'Cause you're bringing me down.

And that's hard to do, 'cause I
have worked with death for years.

And you are making it all
look like good times now.

So get it together,
okay, Eeyore?

- What have you found?
- [Saroyan] An aneurysm.

It should've been caused by
trauma to the ectocranial surface.

But there's no evidence of
trauma at all. Very good, Mr. Fisher.

What do you see there?

Two tiny punctures approximately
seven millimeters apart.

And what's very good?
I totally missed them!

You found the hemorrhagic
stain that led us here.

[Fisher] So what caused
them... snake fangs?

Eastern pipistrelle
bat? Uh, a vampire?

Fingerprint powder.

[Fisher] What are you doing?

A fine horizontal bar terminating
in two vertical protrusions.

Oh, my God.

She was killed by a staple.

A staple? Mm-hmm.

How do you kill
somebody with a staple?

It perforated the thinnest part of the
calvarium, the squamous temporal bone,

causing Miss Hoyle's
pre-existing aneurysm to rupture.

How do you get somebody to
stand still while you staple them?

There's a small depression near the
wound that suggests the stapler was thrown.

So whoever did this didn't mean
to kill her. No, I can't confirm that.

It's common sense, Bones. One doesn't
usually use a stapler as a murder weapon.

And they certainly couldn't have
known that she had an aneurysm.

I'll concede on both
points. Tell you what.

My boys are looking for the murder
weapon. Maybe we can pull some prints.

Patty has sex with someone
who then hits her with a stapler.

It's an odd work environment.

Okay, you are not
gonna believe this.

Yeah? Try topping
death by office supplies.

I was racking my brain over the
trace analysis from the sweater.

Furfural, proteolytic
enzyme, triarylmethane dye...

Hodgins, Hodgins, Hodgins.
Eyes are glazing over.

It's a Blue Hawaiian.

What's a Blue Hawaiian?
Oh, it's a potent cocktail.

Two of those puppies,
and you're asking yourself,

"Hey, why am I naked and
who are all these people?"

[Hodgins] Brilliant blue
F.C.F. from the blue curaçao.

Furfural from the rum. Proteolytic enzyme...
pineapple. Alcohol speaks for itself.

Is this the sort of beverage they
would serve at the Paradise Isle?

Yeah. Comes in one of those,
uh, ceramic monkey heads.

So the killer must've
stepped in a spilled drink.

Given the high level of fructose and
sugarcane, it would've adhered to his shoe.

He stomps on the
victim, and presto...

Her sweater lights up with
more traces than a luau pig.

Dave was at Paradise
Isle. But his alibi checks out.

Yeah. But Dave was there with
Chip, who gave him a ride home.

But we don't know what Chip
did for the rest of the night.

Good work, Hodgins. Now you can
have a french fry. Thanks. Hey, man.

Hey, I think Angela and I are
cool now. [Cell Phone Ringing]

- We talked, and I think...
- Brennan.

You know what?
Just keep it to yourself.

We'll be right there.
[Quietly] We gotta go.

Have all the fries you
want. Pay the bill too.

I wanted to talk to you
guys... about... Angela.

I was filing the D.N.A.
test I ran on Gary's saliva.

Oh, it does match after all? No.

But I did double-check the semen sample from
the victim's skirt with the one on the floor.

And they do match.

And according to the
deterioration of the sperm tail,

the ejaculate's
from Friday night.

That must've been some happy
hour. The night she was murdered.

You can tell all that
from their little tails?

Yes. And I can also tell that our
man is probably of Asian descent.

Oh. By the way they swim.

No. From 42 specific
D.N.A. sequences.

Yeah. Probably more exact.

I'm not sure if that's helpful. There are
three billion Asian people in the world.

But only one who works in the
office. And he was at Paradise Isle.

Found the murder weapon, Chip.

A stapler? Yep, stapler.

- Picked it up in a Dumpster
behind your building.
- Someone threw it at her.

We found some of Patty's hair embedded
in the slide, as well as a trace of blood.

So, uh, what do you need from me?
I'll help any way I can. I liked Patty.

Enough to make love to her
in the copy room on the floor?

[Chuckles] God, no.
She was my boss.

We also found semen on the floor
of the copy room and on her skirt.

The D.N.A. showed it
was from an Asian male.

You're the only person of
Asian descent in the office, Chip.

Look at this. We have a
court order here for your D.N.A.

Okay, you're right. I was sleeping
with Patty. But I wanted to end it.

So I had a couple drinks to get up
my courage and went back to the office.

- Then what happened?
- I told her we had to stop.

Because we were
gonna get caught.

She threatened to report me for sexual
harassment if I didn't keep sleeping with her.

She was calling
Gary to report me.

- So you threw
the stapler at her?
- It hit her in the head.

And she just... dropped.

She had an aneurysm.
You ruptured it.

- I didn't know!
- Then what?

I... had to get rid of her.

I panicked, dragged
her into the hall...

opened the elevator doors
and shoved her down the shaft.

How?

What do you mean "how?"

[Straining]

[Gasps]

It must've been the adrenaline.

You know with that,
you can lift a car, right?

Is this enough
adrenaline for you?

[Whimpers, Gasps] Okay.

Look at that. Two people.
Who's helping you?

No one! It was just me.

Somebody had to have helped you hold the doors
open while you kicked her down the shaft.

No! Who are you
protecting, Chipper?

Booth, can you take
the door? Got it. Got it.

All right.

[Brennan] There.

Okay, what is that? It looks
like a piece of fingernail.

Blue nail polish. [Sighs]

Chip tried to protect me?

Yes. That's just
like him, you know?

Whenever I have too many calls on
hold, he'd always answer the phone.

He totally didn't
have to do that.

The best way for you to help
him is just to tell me the truth.

Okay. Well, we both
have roommates.

So... sometimes,

we'd make love in the office.

We were in the copy room...

and we thought we were alone.

But Patty came back for
something, and she caught us.

And she said she
was going to report us.

I mean, no one in
the office could date.

It was against company policy.
She said we'd both be fired.

So you threw the stapler.

I-I was so sick of her
sticking her nose in everything.

She-She went over to the
phone to report us to Gary. And...

I threw the stapler. I
didn't mean to kill her.

I just wanted to be with Chip.

[Sobbing]

[Sobbing Continues]

I see you got your throne.

That's right. The
chair. Looks nice.

Another victory for the hive.

H.R. said you called. Yes.

- But I didn't lie to them. I wouldn't do that.
- You must've said something.

Because she didn't even eat her
cupcakes, and the chair was here.

No. I just told them why I felt it was
important for you to have it. That's all.

And, uh, why is that? Because
even a mindless drone...

[Sighs] deserves some perks?

No. Because of how
important you are to them.

I mentioned your dedication
and courage and sensitivity.

Sensitivity? Yes, Booth.

I mean, even today with that
young woman who killed her boss.

It's very impressive.

Anyway, I said that a
chair is a good way...

to show the other
employees in the office...

how much those
qualities are valued.

Hmm. Well, it worked.

I'll never understand why you
felt you had to lie to get the chair.

I mean, you could've just told
them about yourself on your own.

Because that would've been
bragging, even though it was true. Oh!

Ow! You okay?

Yeah, no. It's just, uh, I think some of
the padding in the back here is worn out.

And when I lean
back, it's... Hits...

So Agent Kelton overstated
the attributes of the chair?

No. No.

Oh, this thing is
great. Kidding me?

It's, uh... Even
though it's an antique.

It doesn't tilt back... yet. And it
smells like a 300-pound dead guy.

- So you like it?
- Are you kidding me? Love it!

I'm not giving this baby
up for anything, huh?

Whoa! Uh-oh!

Uh, the little up-and-down
thingy's a little touchy.

[Grunts] [Metal Clicks]

[Booth] Ow.

What's that mean?