Bob's Burgers (2011–…): Season 8, Episode 13 - Cheer Up Sleepy Gene - full transcript
Gene is nervous about going to his first sleepover and realizes he had a right to be when things don't go as planned.
*BOB'S BURGERS*
Season 08 Episode 13
Episode Title: "Cheer Up Sleepy Gene"
Someone needs to stop Clearway Law.
Public shouldn't leave reviews for lawyers.
Why does physical education class
have to be so physical?
I hate running.
It gives me wedgies.
Oh, it's up there
so bad right now.
Hey, Gene, Alex.
Pick up the pace.
Less jib-jab,
more jog-jog.
Oh, hey, let's just lay
down and pretend we're dead.
No, no, no, that doesn't work.
We need to almost throw up.
He hates vomit. Watch.
Oh, no. Oh-oh, God.
Oh, gross, gross, gross.
You do it, too.
All right, all right.
You two, take a breather.
Go sit on the side.
Wow, that worked really
well.
Hey I'm gonna try that
in math class.
Yeah. Do it.
You know, we don't really hang
out that much outside of P.E.
We could do lunch. I know a place.
It's the cafeteria.
Or, do you want to sleep
over at my house tonight?
Oh, sleepover?
Sleep over.
Uh, I...
I guess I'm, uh...
Hmm...
- Did you just say yes?
- Did I?
Yeah...
S-Sure, yeah.
- Great.
- G-Great!
Damn it.
You told Alex
you'd sleep over at his house?
Yes. No. Sort of.
Wow. That's a big step
from the last time you
got invited to a sleepover,
and you asked if we could
move away for just one night
so you wouldn't have to go.
Ah! I don't want to go,
but I feel like I should.
I'm the only kid in my grade
who hasn't done a sleepover.
Maybe it's time to try it.
Even if the thought of
it gives me inside hives,
and a tummy full of...
Gene, as someone who's been
invited to many sleepovers...
- One.
- One.
I can tell you that there's
nothing to be scared of.
- They're fun.
- But what if I miss my bed?
And who's gonna give
me good night kisses?
And what if his mom doesn't
know the bedtime story
of Genie Wienie the Baby Beanie
who came out of mom's tummy
and became a perfect boy?
- Listen. Here's what's gonna happen.
- Mm-hmm?
- You'll have dinner with Alex's family.
- Mm-hmm.
If you're lucky, watch
a movie, maybe even PG-13.
- Mm.
- Then, at night,
you'll brush your teeth
with weird toothpaste
- that you've never seen before.
- Mmm.
And after his parents
say good night,
that's when the real fun begins.
Flashlights come out, you gossip,
talk about boys, raid the
fridge for a midnight snack...
I do like midnight snacks.
And they love you.
And before you know it, it's morning.
I guess I can handle that.
Do you think I can call mom
and keep her on the phone
with me the whole time?
- She'd probably do that.
- She would totally do that.
Hmm.
You think he'd let me invite Mom?
I think if you say
her name three times,
she'll appear anywhere.
You want more coffee,
Teddy?
Sounds like you need
some more coffee, Lin.
Yeah, it's true.
Bob kept waking me up last
night with his snoring.
What? Me? Y-You're the one
who's always waking me
up with your snoring.
Oh, please. You sound like
someone's shoving a lawnmower
down a garbage disposal.
Oh, okay.
Does this sound familiar?
"Lin, wake up.
You're snoring."
Because that's what I do
every night.
When I was married, Denise made
me wear an anti-snoring thing.
It was like a big bite plate
that you put in your
mouth when you sleep.
She also made me sit in the car
by myself whenever we ate. Eh...
- Hmm.
- Bob, you should wear
that bite plate thingy.
- You should.
- How about this...
We have a bet, and whoever
snores the most has to wear it.
Fine. But how do we figure
out who snores the most?
I can come over and watch
you guys while you sleep.
- No. No, thanks, Teddy.
- No. No, that shouldn't happen.
- No? -No.
- Yeah, no.
- Absolutely not.
- We should, like, uh, record ourselves.
Oh, yeah,
ou could do that instead.
Hey! I can get you
a recorder.
My next-door neighbor
bootlegs concerts.
He has these tiny recorders
that can record for hours.
Get ready to snooze and
lose, Snory Spelling.
You get ready to lose,
S-Snorma Ray.
Hi, kids.
How was school?
Gene, what's the matter?
Gene got invited to sleep
over at Alex Papasian's house.
And he said yes.
- Really?
- What? Aw.
My little Genie Beanie is
growing up.
Ah, all right,
let's not make this weird, Mom.
Just give me one of your
maxi-pads
to lay my head on
when I fall asleep.
Let me give you a bunch
of good night kisses now
so you won't miss them later.
Come here.
I already miss you, Mom.
Mwah, mwah, I miss you, too.
Mwah, yes, my baby.
- My baby!
- Wait, what...
what'd you say about maxi-pads?
It helps him sleep.
Leave him.
- Yeah.
- When did that start?
Gene takes them in
his backpack to school.
Yeah, I have a bunch.
Definitely needs to stop.
It all feels very healthy,
very normal.
Gene, we're so happy
to have you
sleep over tonight.
D-Donut! Donut! Hush!
Donut, God!
Oh, he's just excited.
That makes one of us.
Honey, can you take Donut?
Please.
Come on, boy.
♪ Come and be a dog with me. ♪
- All right, well, I'm gonna...
- Yep.
- I'm gonna go.
- Sure, sure.
Uh, I'll see you in a half
hour when you come back
to check on me, right?
- You'll-you'll check on me... Yeah.
- Gene. Gene, Gene.
- Gene. It's okay.
- Yeah? Yeah. Uh...
- Look at me. You're gonna do great.
- Mm-hmm.
- Uh-huh.
- All right?
- Mm-hmm. Ah!
- Open your eyes.
All right, I'm gonna go.
It's just a sleepover.
I'll see you...
Stop making that noise.
All right, I'll see you in the morning.
Have fun, have fun. Bye.
Okay, boys, do you want to wash up?
It's almost time for dinner.
I'll be right there. I'm
just gonna press my face
up to the window and watch
my dad drive away.
Okay.
Wow, he wasn't kidding.
He's really leaving.
That son of a bitch is really leaving.
What, uh...
- is this?
- Ugh.
- It's a big plate of farts.
- Alex.
It's steamed salmon, steamed
spinach and steamed potatoes.
- Mmm, well, it sounds delicious to me.
- Mm-hmm.
I'm not used to seeing
the fish part of the fish.
Usually, it's hidden inside
a stick.
Well, we used to eat fish sticks, too,
but we're trying something
new.
We're eating healthy.
What... now,
we eat healthy and happy.
- Ew!
- We eat healthy and it makes us happy.
- Alex!
- Happy. Happy! Happy family!
Uh, I love it here!
Thanks for this, Teddy.
Yeah, my neighbor said it can
record for up to six hours.
He also made me buy this CD
of a Sting concert from 2003.
- Oh. Well, I'm gonna get going.
- You want to sit down?
Have something to drink?
Sorry, I've, uh...
Oh, yeah, no. You should go.
You have a family to get home to.
I'll stay here, listen to Sting
with the cheese and
the crackers I put out
in anticipation of
your visit. No big deal.
Um, I-I guess I could
stay for another minute.
- All right, have a seat.
- Yep.
You can have that seat,
and I'll sit over here.
- Oh! That's uh...
- Right?
- That's a, that's a firm couch.
- Y-Yeah...
Well, it doesn't get used a ton.
Want... put a cushion down?
Hold on.
There's a little cat fur on this pillow.
Who got a cat around here?
Not me.
- Where'd that cat fur come from?
- Yeah. That's...
Uh... -That's what happens when
you get pillows off the street.
What, are you gonna throw
out a perfectly good pillow?
Yep.
How's that? That better?
- Yeah, that's fine. That's good.
- Is that good?
- Thank you.
- Okay.
Uh, how was your day? At work.
Well, it wa... it was a good
day, and then it was this.
Uh... Sting?
- It does.
- Want to listen to Sting?
Oh. All right, well, I'm
definitely gonna go now. - Okay.
Cacti grow in different
shapes and sizes,
and they have developed many
adaptations to conserve water.
Is this PG-13 by any chance?
If PG stands for "Poop Garbage."
Alex! Let's watch
the documentary.
- Ugh.
- Shh.
- Okay, boys, good night.
- Good night.
Sweet dreams. Kisses, huh?
M-Mwah, mwah, mwah.
You're not my Mom!
Oh, my God, oh, my god,
sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry.
S-Sweet dreams.
I hate this, I hate this, I hate this.
This is a living hell.
- What was that?
- Ah, oh, you're awake?
Yeah. I think my parents are
in bed.
Yeah.
So, it's showtime.
I don't want to watch it.
No, no, my friend.
Put on your shoes
and follow me.
I didn't know we were
bringing backpacks to...
Shh!:
Use your whisper voice.
Right. Sorry.
Okay, I did a dry run of this
yesterday.
The last few steps are really creaky.
We're gonna have to
climb over the bannister,
go down the other side,
so we don't make noise.
Okay.
- Do as I do.
- I will.
- Nice and easy.
- Okay.
- Think of yourself as...
- We're Shaolin monks.
Yeah, I was gonna say J.Lo was, like,
dancing around the lasers.
Wait, is that the
movie with Sean Connery,
- and they're robbers or something?
- Yes, yes, yes.
- Gene, yes.
- Okay, okay. Yeah, okay.
Good, good, good.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Okay.
- No, thanks.
I'm more of a wet food guy.
Oh, no, these are for Donut.
It's so he doesn't bark
and wake up my parents.
But I like how open-minded you are.
- Thank you.
- All right, perfect.
Now let's go before he finishes.
But the fridge is over there.
Uh, what's going on?
- We're running away.
- What?
- I mean, well, walking away.
- We can walk away.
- No big deal. Let's walk.
- You can't run away!
We were in the middle
of my first sleepover.
I was told we were gonna
gossip and talk about boys.
Alex! Oh, my God, you walk fast
for someone
so horrible at running!
Alex, you can't run away.
Well, I can't live there anymore.
Why? Your parents seem
okay-ish.
I mean, they shouldn't be
allowed near food, but...
I know! That... I know. A month ago,
my parents watched a documentary
about how sugar "was evil."
Next day, they threw out
all the sugar in our house,
and put me on a diet.
Monsters! I mean, hmm...
No, no, you had it right the
first time. They are monsters.
And I'm done living with
their dumb diet meals.
Well, I don't want to
run away from your house.
I'm in my jammies.
My nighttime jammies.
If you don't want to run away, fine.
Go back, wake up my parents,
and get me into trouble,
which would be snitching.
Uh... puts kind of a bad spin
on that.
Then come with me.
Like gym class, but for
the rest of our lives.
Listen, I built a cabin in the woods.
It's stocked with food.
Real food.
A cabin in the woods?
- Didn't you see Cabin in the Woods?
- No.
Me neither. But the music
for the ads was terrifying!
Tina, Louise, it's late.
- You two need to go to bed.
- Well, we can't.
We're helping you guys
record yourselves sleeping,
just like every kid
in every family does.
I'm in charge of tape.
Anyone want some Scotch?
Actually, this is masking tape,
but I really wanted to say that.
I thought all adults snored.
It's just the sound of them dying.
Maybe, you know, let nature
take its course, right?
Aw, we're dying. All right.
Come on, you two. Off to bed.
Your dad and I have to fall
asleep and snore at each other.
- Come on.
- You guys have a beautiful marriage.
It has its moments.
What is this?
Some kind of animal trap?
No.
Welcome to my cabin.
I call it Alex's
Alpine Oasis for Boys.
Hmm.
You know that thing
where a place looks small
from the outside, but
inside, it's enormous?
Mm-hmm.
That's what I want this to become.
How long were you
planning on staying here?
Well, I think we have
enough food for a month.
Maybe two, if we conserve
these sugar packets.
- A month? Alex!
- What?
This is barely enough food
to get us through the next few minutes
while I stress-eat and
convince you to go back home.
I'm not going home.
But yeah, let's stress-eat.
Mmm! Oh, oh, oh.
Hello, Shuggie.
Sweet, sweet Shuggie.
So, where are we supposed to sleep?
There are no beds in here.
Well, who needs beds
when you have
these cool black sleeping bags?
Check them out.
Whoa-oh, coming at you.
These are for garbage.
Well, y... but, yeah,
but they're bags, right?
Look, look: here you go,
here you go.
Slip into this little guy.
Uh, odor protection and drawstrings.
Nice and snug.
Zip it up tight.
In a garbage bag in
the middle of the woods.
My horoscope was right.
All right, you ready?
- Ready.
- Okay.
- It's recording.
- Good night, Linda.
- Why are you talking like that?
- I don't know.
I guess 'cause... So it's
clear for the recording.
- You sound weird. Just relax.
- Okay, all right.
- Good night.
- Still weird. That's not...
Just... let's just go to sleep.
You're gonna lose.
What? Did you just say,
"You're... you're gonna lose?"
- I didn't say anything.
- Yes, you did.
We're recording ourselves.
I can play it back for you.
I don't know
what you're talking about.
- Snore loser.
- What?
What? Nothing!
Night. You're dead.
Oh, my God.
How many of those have you had?
I don't know, I stopped counting.
I hear my heartbeat. Do
you hear my heartbeat?
Maybe we should conserve
the rest of the food.
Yeah, good idea,
good idea. Good idea.
Uh, I think I just felt a raindrop.
- Really?
- Ah!
Did you mean to leave a
gaping hole in the ceiling?
Uh, that's a skylight.
We're getting wet.
Okay, look, look, look.
Everybody just start thinking.
We can pull our garbage
bags over our heads.
That'll keep us dry.
Drawstrings, activate. Go!
Um, I don't think that's a great idea.
You know, because of breathing.
Oh, right. Yes, yes, yes.
See?
This is why we're a great team.
I have sugar, and you...
you know about breathing.
Is it getting wetter in here?
Ah! Alex's Alpine Oasis for
Boys has turned out exactly to be
as well-constructed
as I thought it was!
Which is not well-constructed.
Are we done running away?
Can we go back to
your house now?
I told you,
I'm never going back there.
No, you're right.
We should stay here.
This is perfect.
I forget, have I thanked
you yet for inviting me over?
Oh, I know what we can do.
We'll hitchhike to the airport
and pretend we're
ambassadors from Dubai.
And then they'll let us fly to Dubai.
Next thing you know,
we're in Dubai, baby.
Okay, we could do that.
- Or, what if we went to my house?
- No way.
Your parents will call my parents.
Bad plan. We're going with Dubai.
Listen, we won't tell
my parents we're there.
We'll get my sisters to let us in.
- They'll know what to do.
- Eh, I don't know.
Come on, at least we
can get out of the rain.
Fine, but I feel like you're
being really overcritical
of Alex's Alpine Oasis for Boys.
I mean, this could have
been a place of learning.
Gene?
What are you guys doing
down there?
Wait, is this a dream?
I wish. Now, don't tell Mom and Dad,
but Alex ran away from
home, and I went with him,
and now
we're standing here in the rain,
and Alex has had a lot of sugar.
Yep, yep, yep, yep, yep,
yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep,
yep, yep, yep, yeah.
So,
the sleepover took
a weird turn, huh?
- Yes. Yes.
- No. No.
So, are you coming in, or...
We can't go inside.
We can't let Mom and
Dad know about this.
But they would love this.
They're so good at telling us
to change out of wet clothes.
Yeah, but they're gonna
want to call Alex's parents,
and we're not doing
that, for some reason.
- It's a pretty good reason.
- It's not a good reason.
- It is a good reason.
- It is not a good reason.
- It's a great reason, Gene.
- I don't think it's
- a good reason, I've seen reason...
- It's a great reason!
- No.
- I could listen to this forever,
but, uh, we'll get the
keys to the restaurant
and be right back.
Great idea.
Bring dry clothes for us.
Oh, and nothing fussy.
I hate buckles, buttons, and bows.
Maybe just a tapered jean,
or if you've got
sweatpants, that'd be great.
Lin. Lin, wake up.
What? What happened?
What happened?
You were snoring, and
it woke me up, so I win.
Just because you woke up
doesn't mean you weren't snoring.
Maybe you woke yourself
up, Snora the Explorer.
All right, well, let's
listen to the recording,
uh, George Snoreman.
Okay, let's.
Ooh, maybe I confessed
something fun in my sleep,
like I'm really a Russian
agent, like, like Felicity.
Good night, Linda.
I told you that sounded weird.
Fast-forwarding.
Oh, here we go.
Is that me? Which one's me?
Uh... that one. Oh, oh, oh...
may-maybe that one.
- Oh, that's you.
- You.
- You. No, no, that's you.
- No...
Okay, that's me.
- Yeah, that was you.
- Yep.
Hmm, toss-up.
Ugh, what is wrong with us?
Okay, we got you guys
tucked away down here.
Out of sight, out of mind.
What happens now?
Uh... I don't know.
Peanut butter.
Oh, and the real kind,
not that natural stuff
with four inches of oil on top.
It's nice down here.
Gene, you know what we should do?
We should live here.
I do live here. Aah!
- You are terrible at running away!
- What?
And you shouldn't have run
away in the first place.
Alex, sometimes you have to toughen up
and do stuff you don't want to do.
Like a no-sugar diet
or a sleepover at someone else's house.
And maybe, hopefully,
those things will
make us stronger in some way.
Do you understand
what I'm saying?
Oh, my God, you're right.
Wow, I've never seen someone cry
and eat peanut butter at the same time.
It's a little hard to watch.
Okay, what do I do?
You could go home.
No. No, I can't. I'll get in trouble.
And then I'll get punished.
My parents let me have four
ounces of ice cream a month.
They're gonna take that away from me.
It's the one thing I have.
Okay, kooky idea...
What if you un-run away?
- What do you mean?
- What if we sneak back into your house
before your parents wake up?
Then they'll never know you were gone.
It'll be like it never happened.
But the doors are locked.
My sister can pick locks.
I mean, I'm better at
locks on Tina's room,
Tina's drawer, Tina's diary...
- Wait, what?
- But I can try a front door.
Ugh. But what about Donut?
I mean, he'll hear us and
then bark
and wake up my parents.
I might have an idea for that.
Alex, we're sneaking
back into your house,
going to sleep, and waking up
to a healthy, bland breakfast
that probably involves muesli.
Okay.
Is Donut your brother? Just curious.
Okay, here's the plan.
Tina's gonna distract Donut...
- The dog.
- Right. The dog.
And Louise will pick the lock,
and Alex and I will stand
here and try not to panic.
Not panicking. Not
panicking. I'm not panicking.
Good job. You're doing great.
I am doing great.
This is great. This is fun. - Yeah.
- This is a good idea.
- Oh, my God.
I wonder what you'd be
like if you were panicking.
That is funny.
Tina, get in position.
Ah, squishy.
Okay. Here goes nothing.
Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no.
He stopped barking.
Hope he finds my hand. Oh, wow.
Yeah, he totally found my hand.
Are you sure this isn't your brother?
People. Hush. Please.
Little girl. Big lock.
Need to concentrate.
Is that you? That's definitely you.
- I can't... I can't tell.
- Yeah, it is hard to tell.
Quiet. Don't wake up Mom and Dad.
- Wait. Did you just hear Tina?
- I don't know.
- I heard something.
- No, no, no.
They're not gonna wake up.
They're in their angry rhino phase.
- Oh, yeah, of course.
- Hmm.
Oh, that is you. Wow.
What do you think the kids
were doing?
Don't change the subject.
You just started honking
on a whole nother level.
I'm winning this thing.
Oh, that's me.
Ugh. We're both disgusting.
So what now what do we do?
Is it a tie? Is the bet off?
No one wears the thing
on the snoring thing?
- What do we do?
- I'm fine with that if you are.
You know what?
Yeah, works for me.
Can we just go back to sleep?
Yeah. I guess. Yeah.
- I can't sleep.
- Yeah, me neither.
- It's too quiet now.
- Yeah, I know.
I think I'm not used to you
not snoring
in the middle of the night.
Same here. I guess
you're my white noise.
My disgusting white noise.
- I guess you're mine, too.
- Aw.
I mean, maybe I woke up
because you stopped snoring,
- not because you started.
- Maybe. Should we turn it back on?
- Really?
- Yeah. It's either that or pills.
Okay.
- Mmm.
- I'm running out of peanut butter.
Ugh. Can you hurry up?
It doesn't take this long
to pick locks in the movies.
- Well, you try it, Houdini.
- I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
I got out of hand, and I'm sorry.
I told you it's possible
I might not even be able to open...
I'm the best.
- That's it.
- That a boy.
- Shh, shh, shh.
- Good dog. -Good boy, Donut.
Okay, we're in.
We know. Now let's get upstairs
before anyone hears us.
They have a fun way of going up stairs.
- What is that... parkour?
- Yeah, I don't know. Maybe.
Wait. There's someone in the kitchen.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my dear, darling, ice cream.
Are you kidding me?
- Should we join her?
- What?
No, no. She can't know
that we're not in bed.
Right, right, but every diet has room
for a little midnight kitchen sneakin'.
You should try it yourself
sometime.
Huh. Yeah.
See? This is why
we have sleepovers.
I'm never coming back here.
How long do I have to keep
doing this?
You know what? Let's rub a bunch
of peanut butter on the floor
- and just get out of here.
- Okay. Bye, Donut.
I'll never forget you. Don't change.
- We did it.
- Yeah. You know,
I think I'm crashing
from all that sug... ah...
Oh, God. This is it.
This is the scary part.
Think of happy things.
Mom smell, Dad smell, aioli,
Rachael Ray, Luke Cage.
- Good morning, boys!
- It's morning?
- I fell asleep?
- Oh.
Do you say that every
morning? That's cute.
- How'd you boys sleep?
- Like lambs.
Like little, sugarless lambs.
How about you, Mother?
Very well, thank you.
Breakfast is on the table.
♪ Who likes muesli? ♪
Ugh. ♪ No one. ♪
Thanks for the recorder, Teddy.
Yeah, glad to help,
or not help, I guess.
- No clear winner, huh?
- Nope.
But definitely two clear losers.
Who? Oh, us.
Very funny, Louise.
They're back. Oh, they're back!
There's my little sleepover star.
How was it?
Did you have fun?
It was bad, then really bad,
then wet,
then suspenseful, and then it was over.
Like my second, fourth and fifth kisses.
Hmm. Uh-uh.
Well, you did it.
Now you never have to sleep
outside the house again.
Not when you go to college,
or when you graduate college,
- or even when you get married.
- Yay! I love you, Mom.
I love you.
- Mwah...
- Mwah...
Does anyone else feel
like a third wheel?
Little bit.
- I love you.
- Let's throw stuff at them.
- Forever.
- Oh, yeah.
♪ I don't wanna leave home ♪
♪ Because I hate
sleepovers, sleepovers ♪
♪ I'm gonna go to bed alone ♪
♪ Because I hate
sleepovers, sleepovers ♪
♪ Get me outta here,
these sheets smell weird ♪
♪ Let's call my dad ♪
♪ And have him pick me
up right now, thank you ♪
♪ I'm finished, I'm out, I'm done ♪
♪ Because I hate
sleepovers, sleepovers ♪
♪ Okay, it was kinda fun ♪
♪ But I still hate
sleepovers, sleepovers. ♪
Someone needs to stop Clearway Law.
Public shouldn't leave reviews for lawyers.
Season 08 Episode 13
Episode Title: "Cheer Up Sleepy Gene"
Someone needs to stop Clearway Law.
Public shouldn't leave reviews for lawyers.
Why does physical education class
have to be so physical?
I hate running.
It gives me wedgies.
Oh, it's up there
so bad right now.
Hey, Gene, Alex.
Pick up the pace.
Less jib-jab,
more jog-jog.
Oh, hey, let's just lay
down and pretend we're dead.
No, no, no, that doesn't work.
We need to almost throw up.
He hates vomit. Watch.
Oh, no. Oh-oh, God.
Oh, gross, gross, gross.
You do it, too.
All right, all right.
You two, take a breather.
Go sit on the side.
Wow, that worked really
well.
Hey I'm gonna try that
in math class.
Yeah. Do it.
You know, we don't really hang
out that much outside of P.E.
We could do lunch. I know a place.
It's the cafeteria.
Or, do you want to sleep
over at my house tonight?
Oh, sleepover?
Sleep over.
Uh, I...
I guess I'm, uh...
Hmm...
- Did you just say yes?
- Did I?
Yeah...
S-Sure, yeah.
- Great.
- G-Great!
Damn it.
You told Alex
you'd sleep over at his house?
Yes. No. Sort of.
Wow. That's a big step
from the last time you
got invited to a sleepover,
and you asked if we could
move away for just one night
so you wouldn't have to go.
Ah! I don't want to go,
but I feel like I should.
I'm the only kid in my grade
who hasn't done a sleepover.
Maybe it's time to try it.
Even if the thought of
it gives me inside hives,
and a tummy full of...
Gene, as someone who's been
invited to many sleepovers...
- One.
- One.
I can tell you that there's
nothing to be scared of.
- They're fun.
- But what if I miss my bed?
And who's gonna give
me good night kisses?
And what if his mom doesn't
know the bedtime story
of Genie Wienie the Baby Beanie
who came out of mom's tummy
and became a perfect boy?
- Listen. Here's what's gonna happen.
- Mm-hmm?
- You'll have dinner with Alex's family.
- Mm-hmm.
If you're lucky, watch
a movie, maybe even PG-13.
- Mm.
- Then, at night,
you'll brush your teeth
with weird toothpaste
- that you've never seen before.
- Mmm.
And after his parents
say good night,
that's when the real fun begins.
Flashlights come out, you gossip,
talk about boys, raid the
fridge for a midnight snack...
I do like midnight snacks.
And they love you.
And before you know it, it's morning.
I guess I can handle that.
Do you think I can call mom
and keep her on the phone
with me the whole time?
- She'd probably do that.
- She would totally do that.
Hmm.
You think he'd let me invite Mom?
I think if you say
her name three times,
she'll appear anywhere.
You want more coffee,
Teddy?
Sounds like you need
some more coffee, Lin.
Yeah, it's true.
Bob kept waking me up last
night with his snoring.
What? Me? Y-You're the one
who's always waking me
up with your snoring.
Oh, please. You sound like
someone's shoving a lawnmower
down a garbage disposal.
Oh, okay.
Does this sound familiar?
"Lin, wake up.
You're snoring."
Because that's what I do
every night.
When I was married, Denise made
me wear an anti-snoring thing.
It was like a big bite plate
that you put in your
mouth when you sleep.
She also made me sit in the car
by myself whenever we ate. Eh...
- Hmm.
- Bob, you should wear
that bite plate thingy.
- You should.
- How about this...
We have a bet, and whoever
snores the most has to wear it.
Fine. But how do we figure
out who snores the most?
I can come over and watch
you guys while you sleep.
- No. No, thanks, Teddy.
- No. No, that shouldn't happen.
- No? -No.
- Yeah, no.
- Absolutely not.
- We should, like, uh, record ourselves.
Oh, yeah,
ou could do that instead.
Hey! I can get you
a recorder.
My next-door neighbor
bootlegs concerts.
He has these tiny recorders
that can record for hours.
Get ready to snooze and
lose, Snory Spelling.
You get ready to lose,
S-Snorma Ray.
Hi, kids.
How was school?
Gene, what's the matter?
Gene got invited to sleep
over at Alex Papasian's house.
And he said yes.
- Really?
- What? Aw.
My little Genie Beanie is
growing up.
Ah, all right,
let's not make this weird, Mom.
Just give me one of your
maxi-pads
to lay my head on
when I fall asleep.
Let me give you a bunch
of good night kisses now
so you won't miss them later.
Come here.
I already miss you, Mom.
Mwah, mwah, I miss you, too.
Mwah, yes, my baby.
- My baby!
- Wait, what...
what'd you say about maxi-pads?
It helps him sleep.
Leave him.
- Yeah.
- When did that start?
Gene takes them in
his backpack to school.
Yeah, I have a bunch.
Definitely needs to stop.
It all feels very healthy,
very normal.
Gene, we're so happy
to have you
sleep over tonight.
D-Donut! Donut! Hush!
Donut, God!
Oh, he's just excited.
That makes one of us.
Honey, can you take Donut?
Please.
Come on, boy.
♪ Come and be a dog with me. ♪
- All right, well, I'm gonna...
- Yep.
- I'm gonna go.
- Sure, sure.
Uh, I'll see you in a half
hour when you come back
to check on me, right?
- You'll-you'll check on me... Yeah.
- Gene. Gene, Gene.
- Gene. It's okay.
- Yeah? Yeah. Uh...
- Look at me. You're gonna do great.
- Mm-hmm.
- Uh-huh.
- All right?
- Mm-hmm. Ah!
- Open your eyes.
All right, I'm gonna go.
It's just a sleepover.
I'll see you...
Stop making that noise.
All right, I'll see you in the morning.
Have fun, have fun. Bye.
Okay, boys, do you want to wash up?
It's almost time for dinner.
I'll be right there. I'm
just gonna press my face
up to the window and watch
my dad drive away.
Okay.
Wow, he wasn't kidding.
He's really leaving.
That son of a bitch is really leaving.
What, uh...
- is this?
- Ugh.
- It's a big plate of farts.
- Alex.
It's steamed salmon, steamed
spinach and steamed potatoes.
- Mmm, well, it sounds delicious to me.
- Mm-hmm.
I'm not used to seeing
the fish part of the fish.
Usually, it's hidden inside
a stick.
Well, we used to eat fish sticks, too,
but we're trying something
new.
We're eating healthy.
What... now,
we eat healthy and happy.
- Ew!
- We eat healthy and it makes us happy.
- Alex!
- Happy. Happy! Happy family!
Uh, I love it here!
Thanks for this, Teddy.
Yeah, my neighbor said it can
record for up to six hours.
He also made me buy this CD
of a Sting concert from 2003.
- Oh. Well, I'm gonna get going.
- You want to sit down?
Have something to drink?
Sorry, I've, uh...
Oh, yeah, no. You should go.
You have a family to get home to.
I'll stay here, listen to Sting
with the cheese and
the crackers I put out
in anticipation of
your visit. No big deal.
Um, I-I guess I could
stay for another minute.
- All right, have a seat.
- Yep.
You can have that seat,
and I'll sit over here.
- Oh! That's uh...
- Right?
- That's a, that's a firm couch.
- Y-Yeah...
Well, it doesn't get used a ton.
Want... put a cushion down?
Hold on.
There's a little cat fur on this pillow.
Who got a cat around here?
Not me.
- Where'd that cat fur come from?
- Yeah. That's...
Uh... -That's what happens when
you get pillows off the street.
What, are you gonna throw
out a perfectly good pillow?
Yep.
How's that? That better?
- Yeah, that's fine. That's good.
- Is that good?
- Thank you.
- Okay.
Uh, how was your day? At work.
Well, it wa... it was a good
day, and then it was this.
Uh... Sting?
- It does.
- Want to listen to Sting?
Oh. All right, well, I'm
definitely gonna go now. - Okay.
Cacti grow in different
shapes and sizes,
and they have developed many
adaptations to conserve water.
Is this PG-13 by any chance?
If PG stands for "Poop Garbage."
Alex! Let's watch
the documentary.
- Ugh.
- Shh.
- Okay, boys, good night.
- Good night.
Sweet dreams. Kisses, huh?
M-Mwah, mwah, mwah.
You're not my Mom!
Oh, my God, oh, my god,
sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry.
S-Sweet dreams.
I hate this, I hate this, I hate this.
This is a living hell.
- What was that?
- Ah, oh, you're awake?
Yeah. I think my parents are
in bed.
Yeah.
So, it's showtime.
I don't want to watch it.
No, no, my friend.
Put on your shoes
and follow me.
I didn't know we were
bringing backpacks to...
Shh!:
Use your whisper voice.
Right. Sorry.
Okay, I did a dry run of this
yesterday.
The last few steps are really creaky.
We're gonna have to
climb over the bannister,
go down the other side,
so we don't make noise.
Okay.
- Do as I do.
- I will.
- Nice and easy.
- Okay.
- Think of yourself as...
- We're Shaolin monks.
Yeah, I was gonna say J.Lo was, like,
dancing around the lasers.
Wait, is that the
movie with Sean Connery,
- and they're robbers or something?
- Yes, yes, yes.
- Gene, yes.
- Okay, okay. Yeah, okay.
Good, good, good.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Okay.
- No, thanks.
I'm more of a wet food guy.
Oh, no, these are for Donut.
It's so he doesn't bark
and wake up my parents.
But I like how open-minded you are.
- Thank you.
- All right, perfect.
Now let's go before he finishes.
But the fridge is over there.
Uh, what's going on?
- We're running away.
- What?
- I mean, well, walking away.
- We can walk away.
- No big deal. Let's walk.
- You can't run away!
We were in the middle
of my first sleepover.
I was told we were gonna
gossip and talk about boys.
Alex! Oh, my God, you walk fast
for someone
so horrible at running!
Alex, you can't run away.
Well, I can't live there anymore.
Why? Your parents seem
okay-ish.
I mean, they shouldn't be
allowed near food, but...
I know! That... I know. A month ago,
my parents watched a documentary
about how sugar "was evil."
Next day, they threw out
all the sugar in our house,
and put me on a diet.
Monsters! I mean, hmm...
No, no, you had it right the
first time. They are monsters.
And I'm done living with
their dumb diet meals.
Well, I don't want to
run away from your house.
I'm in my jammies.
My nighttime jammies.
If you don't want to run away, fine.
Go back, wake up my parents,
and get me into trouble,
which would be snitching.
Uh... puts kind of a bad spin
on that.
Then come with me.
Like gym class, but for
the rest of our lives.
Listen, I built a cabin in the woods.
It's stocked with food.
Real food.
A cabin in the woods?
- Didn't you see Cabin in the Woods?
- No.
Me neither. But the music
for the ads was terrifying!
Tina, Louise, it's late.
- You two need to go to bed.
- Well, we can't.
We're helping you guys
record yourselves sleeping,
just like every kid
in every family does.
I'm in charge of tape.
Anyone want some Scotch?
Actually, this is masking tape,
but I really wanted to say that.
I thought all adults snored.
It's just the sound of them dying.
Maybe, you know, let nature
take its course, right?
Aw, we're dying. All right.
Come on, you two. Off to bed.
Your dad and I have to fall
asleep and snore at each other.
- Come on.
- You guys have a beautiful marriage.
It has its moments.
What is this?
Some kind of animal trap?
No.
Welcome to my cabin.
I call it Alex's
Alpine Oasis for Boys.
Hmm.
You know that thing
where a place looks small
from the outside, but
inside, it's enormous?
Mm-hmm.
That's what I want this to become.
How long were you
planning on staying here?
Well, I think we have
enough food for a month.
Maybe two, if we conserve
these sugar packets.
- A month? Alex!
- What?
This is barely enough food
to get us through the next few minutes
while I stress-eat and
convince you to go back home.
I'm not going home.
But yeah, let's stress-eat.
Mmm! Oh, oh, oh.
Hello, Shuggie.
Sweet, sweet Shuggie.
So, where are we supposed to sleep?
There are no beds in here.
Well, who needs beds
when you have
these cool black sleeping bags?
Check them out.
Whoa-oh, coming at you.
These are for garbage.
Well, y... but, yeah,
but they're bags, right?
Look, look: here you go,
here you go.
Slip into this little guy.
Uh, odor protection and drawstrings.
Nice and snug.
Zip it up tight.
In a garbage bag in
the middle of the woods.
My horoscope was right.
All right, you ready?
- Ready.
- Okay.
- It's recording.
- Good night, Linda.
- Why are you talking like that?
- I don't know.
I guess 'cause... So it's
clear for the recording.
- You sound weird. Just relax.
- Okay, all right.
- Good night.
- Still weird. That's not...
Just... let's just go to sleep.
You're gonna lose.
What? Did you just say,
"You're... you're gonna lose?"
- I didn't say anything.
- Yes, you did.
We're recording ourselves.
I can play it back for you.
I don't know
what you're talking about.
- Snore loser.
- What?
What? Nothing!
Night. You're dead.
Oh, my God.
How many of those have you had?
I don't know, I stopped counting.
I hear my heartbeat. Do
you hear my heartbeat?
Maybe we should conserve
the rest of the food.
Yeah, good idea,
good idea. Good idea.
Uh, I think I just felt a raindrop.
- Really?
- Ah!
Did you mean to leave a
gaping hole in the ceiling?
Uh, that's a skylight.
We're getting wet.
Okay, look, look, look.
Everybody just start thinking.
We can pull our garbage
bags over our heads.
That'll keep us dry.
Drawstrings, activate. Go!
Um, I don't think that's a great idea.
You know, because of breathing.
Oh, right. Yes, yes, yes.
See?
This is why we're a great team.
I have sugar, and you...
you know about breathing.
Is it getting wetter in here?
Ah! Alex's Alpine Oasis for
Boys has turned out exactly to be
as well-constructed
as I thought it was!
Which is not well-constructed.
Are we done running away?
Can we go back to
your house now?
I told you,
I'm never going back there.
No, you're right.
We should stay here.
This is perfect.
I forget, have I thanked
you yet for inviting me over?
Oh, I know what we can do.
We'll hitchhike to the airport
and pretend we're
ambassadors from Dubai.
And then they'll let us fly to Dubai.
Next thing you know,
we're in Dubai, baby.
Okay, we could do that.
- Or, what if we went to my house?
- No way.
Your parents will call my parents.
Bad plan. We're going with Dubai.
Listen, we won't tell
my parents we're there.
We'll get my sisters to let us in.
- They'll know what to do.
- Eh, I don't know.
Come on, at least we
can get out of the rain.
Fine, but I feel like you're
being really overcritical
of Alex's Alpine Oasis for Boys.
I mean, this could have
been a place of learning.
Gene?
What are you guys doing
down there?
Wait, is this a dream?
I wish. Now, don't tell Mom and Dad,
but Alex ran away from
home, and I went with him,
and now
we're standing here in the rain,
and Alex has had a lot of sugar.
Yep, yep, yep, yep, yep,
yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep,
yep, yep, yep, yeah.
So,
the sleepover took
a weird turn, huh?
- Yes. Yes.
- No. No.
So, are you coming in, or...
We can't go inside.
We can't let Mom and
Dad know about this.
But they would love this.
They're so good at telling us
to change out of wet clothes.
Yeah, but they're gonna
want to call Alex's parents,
and we're not doing
that, for some reason.
- It's a pretty good reason.
- It's not a good reason.
- It is a good reason.
- It is not a good reason.
- It's a great reason, Gene.
- I don't think it's
- a good reason, I've seen reason...
- It's a great reason!
- No.
- I could listen to this forever,
but, uh, we'll get the
keys to the restaurant
and be right back.
Great idea.
Bring dry clothes for us.
Oh, and nothing fussy.
I hate buckles, buttons, and bows.
Maybe just a tapered jean,
or if you've got
sweatpants, that'd be great.
Lin. Lin, wake up.
What? What happened?
What happened?
You were snoring, and
it woke me up, so I win.
Just because you woke up
doesn't mean you weren't snoring.
Maybe you woke yourself
up, Snora the Explorer.
All right, well, let's
listen to the recording,
uh, George Snoreman.
Okay, let's.
Ooh, maybe I confessed
something fun in my sleep,
like I'm really a Russian
agent, like, like Felicity.
Good night, Linda.
I told you that sounded weird.
Fast-forwarding.
Oh, here we go.
Is that me? Which one's me?
Uh... that one. Oh, oh, oh...
may-maybe that one.
- Oh, that's you.
- You.
- You. No, no, that's you.
- No...
Okay, that's me.
- Yeah, that was you.
- Yep.
Hmm, toss-up.
Ugh, what is wrong with us?
Okay, we got you guys
tucked away down here.
Out of sight, out of mind.
What happens now?
Uh... I don't know.
Peanut butter.
Oh, and the real kind,
not that natural stuff
with four inches of oil on top.
It's nice down here.
Gene, you know what we should do?
We should live here.
I do live here. Aah!
- You are terrible at running away!
- What?
And you shouldn't have run
away in the first place.
Alex, sometimes you have to toughen up
and do stuff you don't want to do.
Like a no-sugar diet
or a sleepover at someone else's house.
And maybe, hopefully,
those things will
make us stronger in some way.
Do you understand
what I'm saying?
Oh, my God, you're right.
Wow, I've never seen someone cry
and eat peanut butter at the same time.
It's a little hard to watch.
Okay, what do I do?
You could go home.
No. No, I can't. I'll get in trouble.
And then I'll get punished.
My parents let me have four
ounces of ice cream a month.
They're gonna take that away from me.
It's the one thing I have.
Okay, kooky idea...
What if you un-run away?
- What do you mean?
- What if we sneak back into your house
before your parents wake up?
Then they'll never know you were gone.
It'll be like it never happened.
But the doors are locked.
My sister can pick locks.
I mean, I'm better at
locks on Tina's room,
Tina's drawer, Tina's diary...
- Wait, what?
- But I can try a front door.
Ugh. But what about Donut?
I mean, he'll hear us and
then bark
and wake up my parents.
I might have an idea for that.
Alex, we're sneaking
back into your house,
going to sleep, and waking up
to a healthy, bland breakfast
that probably involves muesli.
Okay.
Is Donut your brother? Just curious.
Okay, here's the plan.
Tina's gonna distract Donut...
- The dog.
- Right. The dog.
And Louise will pick the lock,
and Alex and I will stand
here and try not to panic.
Not panicking. Not
panicking. I'm not panicking.
Good job. You're doing great.
I am doing great.
This is great. This is fun. - Yeah.
- This is a good idea.
- Oh, my God.
I wonder what you'd be
like if you were panicking.
That is funny.
Tina, get in position.
Ah, squishy.
Okay. Here goes nothing.
Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no.
He stopped barking.
Hope he finds my hand. Oh, wow.
Yeah, he totally found my hand.
Are you sure this isn't your brother?
People. Hush. Please.
Little girl. Big lock.
Need to concentrate.
Is that you? That's definitely you.
- I can't... I can't tell.
- Yeah, it is hard to tell.
Quiet. Don't wake up Mom and Dad.
- Wait. Did you just hear Tina?
- I don't know.
- I heard something.
- No, no, no.
They're not gonna wake up.
They're in their angry rhino phase.
- Oh, yeah, of course.
- Hmm.
Oh, that is you. Wow.
What do you think the kids
were doing?
Don't change the subject.
You just started honking
on a whole nother level.
I'm winning this thing.
Oh, that's me.
Ugh. We're both disgusting.
So what now what do we do?
Is it a tie? Is the bet off?
No one wears the thing
on the snoring thing?
- What do we do?
- I'm fine with that if you are.
You know what?
Yeah, works for me.
Can we just go back to sleep?
Yeah. I guess. Yeah.
- I can't sleep.
- Yeah, me neither.
- It's too quiet now.
- Yeah, I know.
I think I'm not used to you
not snoring
in the middle of the night.
Same here. I guess
you're my white noise.
My disgusting white noise.
- I guess you're mine, too.
- Aw.
I mean, maybe I woke up
because you stopped snoring,
- not because you started.
- Maybe. Should we turn it back on?
- Really?
- Yeah. It's either that or pills.
Okay.
- Mmm.
- I'm running out of peanut butter.
Ugh. Can you hurry up?
It doesn't take this long
to pick locks in the movies.
- Well, you try it, Houdini.
- I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
I got out of hand, and I'm sorry.
I told you it's possible
I might not even be able to open...
I'm the best.
- That's it.
- That a boy.
- Shh, shh, shh.
- Good dog. -Good boy, Donut.
Okay, we're in.
We know. Now let's get upstairs
before anyone hears us.
They have a fun way of going up stairs.
- What is that... parkour?
- Yeah, I don't know. Maybe.
Wait. There's someone in the kitchen.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my dear, darling, ice cream.
Are you kidding me?
- Should we join her?
- What?
No, no. She can't know
that we're not in bed.
Right, right, but every diet has room
for a little midnight kitchen sneakin'.
You should try it yourself
sometime.
Huh. Yeah.
See? This is why
we have sleepovers.
I'm never coming back here.
How long do I have to keep
doing this?
You know what? Let's rub a bunch
of peanut butter on the floor
- and just get out of here.
- Okay. Bye, Donut.
I'll never forget you. Don't change.
- We did it.
- Yeah. You know,
I think I'm crashing
from all that sug... ah...
Oh, God. This is it.
This is the scary part.
Think of happy things.
Mom smell, Dad smell, aioli,
Rachael Ray, Luke Cage.
- Good morning, boys!
- It's morning?
- I fell asleep?
- Oh.
Do you say that every
morning? That's cute.
- How'd you boys sleep?
- Like lambs.
Like little, sugarless lambs.
How about you, Mother?
Very well, thank you.
Breakfast is on the table.
♪ Who likes muesli? ♪
Ugh. ♪ No one. ♪
Thanks for the recorder, Teddy.
Yeah, glad to help,
or not help, I guess.
- No clear winner, huh?
- Nope.
But definitely two clear losers.
Who? Oh, us.
Very funny, Louise.
They're back. Oh, they're back!
There's my little sleepover star.
How was it?
Did you have fun?
It was bad, then really bad,
then wet,
then suspenseful, and then it was over.
Like my second, fourth and fifth kisses.
Hmm. Uh-uh.
Well, you did it.
Now you never have to sleep
outside the house again.
Not when you go to college,
or when you graduate college,
- or even when you get married.
- Yay! I love you, Mom.
I love you.
- Mwah...
- Mwah...
Does anyone else feel
like a third wheel?
Little bit.
- I love you.
- Let's throw stuff at them.
- Forever.
- Oh, yeah.
♪ I don't wanna leave home ♪
♪ Because I hate
sleepovers, sleepovers ♪
♪ I'm gonna go to bed alone ♪
♪ Because I hate
sleepovers, sleepovers ♪
♪ Get me outta here,
these sheets smell weird ♪
♪ Let's call my dad ♪
♪ And have him pick me
up right now, thank you ♪
♪ I'm finished, I'm out, I'm done ♪
♪ Because I hate
sleepovers, sleepovers ♪
♪ Okay, it was kinda fun ♪
♪ But I still hate
sleepovers, sleepovers. ♪
Someone needs to stop Clearway Law.
Public shouldn't leave reviews for lawyers.