Bob's Burgers (2011–…): Season 6, Episode 16 - Bye Bye Boo Boo - full transcript
Louise enters a contest with the hopes that Tina will get to meet Boo Boo from Boyz 4 Now; Bob learns more about the history of the restaurant.
Someone needs to stop Clearway Law.
Public shouldn't leave reviews for lawyers.
I'm Tammy Larson
with Wagstaff School News.
Our top story:
Boyz 4 Now has broken up.
Son of a bitch!
It's true.
I'm not kidding,
I wish I was kidding,
I am not kidding.
Anyway, here's Jocelyn.
They're breaking up
because Boo Boo is
going solo,
but who cares about Boo Boo
because everyone
cool likes Griffin.
Or Alan.
Jocelyn, how are
the fans taking it?
(mumbling):
And I can't even think about it...
Stop it, Jocelyn.
(sobbing)
Don't you cry or I'm gonna cry.
(both crying)
Louise!
Geez, Tina!
Boyz 4 Now!
Boo Boo!
Did you hear?
I heard.
Pull yourself together.
We need each other right now.
Come here.
(groaning)
I'm fine, let go!
Fine, like you're a mess fine?
Tina, Boyz 4 Now is your thing.
I could care less.
But remember when
we went to the concert
and you kind of lost your mind?
Listen, some freak thing
happened to me at that concert
but then I slapped Boo Boo's
face and now I'm cured.
Slap therapy, Tina.
Ask your doctor.
She's happy and slappy!
Well, I'm glad to hear that...
Thanks.
But the Boyz 4 Now
fan club I belong to
is having an emergency
meeting after school.
It would mean a lot
if you went with me.
Why would I go with you, Tina?
Did you not hear me just now?
I did, it's just...
I could really use some
sister support today.
I think she means from you.
Okay, Tina, I'll come.
Thanks, Louise.
Who wants to join
my Tater Tot club?
We're meeting right now!
What's he doing out there?
Maybe he's wondering
the same thing
about us, Bob.
Yes, this is the place.
Hi, can we help you?
Ah, that corner.
That's where he got shot.
Shot?!
Who got shot?
Somebody got shot?!
Yes, The Grunt got
shot right there.
Who's The Grunt?
What the hell's a grunt?
Dominic "The Grunt" Gruntanno,
one of the biggest bootleggers
on this stretch of coast,
and he was gunned down
right here in 1931.
That's pretty interesting.
Here, have a look
at the crime scene photo.
BOB: Whoa. LINDA: Ugh!
Aw, and it looks like
he just got his steak.
Whoever shot him was good
at shooting someone a lot.
I'm Dr. Donald Wallace,
and I'm researching a book
on this area during Prohibition.
This restaurant is a big find.
Do you want me to try
to get you a plaque?
I'm on the board at
the Historical Society.
I love plaques!
It's like jewelry for buildings.
Uh, I-I don't know if
we need a-a plaque.
Bob, take the plaque!
All the best restaurants
and benches have plaques.
Ooh, I love benches.
Bob, take the plaque.
We'll be like a bench.
Oh, my God.
This is where
we have the meetings.
It's Krissy's house.
She's president of the fan club.
Great, great.
If you get emotional in there
and need a break, let me know.
Not gonna happen, but thanks.
Also, this is a shoes-off house,
so do your best to act
like that's not weird.
(doorbell rings)
Hello, Tina.
Krissy!
Shoes go here, right?
Here they go.
LOUISE:
Whoa, depression is in session.
Everybody, this is
my sister, Louise.
She's sitting
in with us tonight.
Oh, welcome, Louise.
I'm Krissy.
My favorite Boy 4 Now
is Griffin.
Ashley, favorite boy, Alan.
Robin, favorite boy
formerly Boo Boo,
now A.B.B.B.:
Anybody But Boo Boo.
(crying): Carly, Griffin.
(crying): Becca, Alan.
(sobbing)
I'll go.
I'm Krissy's dad.
Favorite boy depends on my mood.
Usually it's Matt,
but in dark times like these,
Griffin's really
my guy as far as...
Shh, shh, not
your moment, honey.
We're all hurting.
Everyone's hurting.
Okay, everybody,
let's get started.
First I'd like to say,
what the fudge, right?!
(all yelling)
Who the hell does
Boo Boo think he is?!
Honey... (groans) No, sorry.
We were all thinking it. Yeah.
Official motion to boycott
Boo Boo's solo album
and all future merchandise.
I second.
I third.
The motion passes.
Noted.
Sorry, Louise.
No skin off my butt.
Before we continue,
I want to show you something.
As fan club president,
I receive special, exclusive
e-mails from Boyz 4 Now
and select corporate partners.
Some pretty deep discounts
on merch.
Snap up the T-shirts, guys.
Today's e-mail came
with a video.
(gasps) Boo Boo!
I mean... I don't care.
Hey, Boo Boo Boosters.
I miss your smiles.
A lot has happened lately.
I've grown as an artist
and also in my body.
It was time for me
to spread my wings
and fly away from Boyz 4 Now.
Matt, you're like a dad to me
'cause you're so old.
Griffin, Alan,
you know what you did.
Boo, boo!
Wait, that's confusing.
Are you saying "boo"
or "Boo Boo"?
"Boo" twice.
God, Ashley, come on.
Anyway, it's all good,
'cause I'm dropping
my first solo album,
Tall Enuff 2 Ride Your Heart.
♪ I'm tall enough
to ride your heart ♪
♪ Keep your arms and lips
inside my car... ♪
Ew, this song is bad.
It's crap!
Awful, pandering crap.
Geez, ah!
To promote the new album,
I'm gonna be kicking it
at some super fun
amusement parks.
He's coming to Wonder Wharf.
Boo Boo's coming
to Wonder Wharf?
Huh, okay.
If you help get the word out,
you and your friends could win
a ride with me on
a grown-up roller coaster
because I am big enough
to ride one, I am!
Me and my friends
could win a ride with him
on a grown-up roller coaster.
Go to my Web site and turn
your Boyz 4 Now fan club
into a Boo Crew,
and the heart I ride
might be yours.
Turn your fan club
into a Boo Crew?
Ugh, we hate Boo Boo!
ALL: We hate Boo Boo!
We hate Boo Boo!
We hate Boo Boo!
Great.
We hate Boo Boo!
Lots of fun.
We hate Boo Boo!
So... bye.
Louise?
(panting)
(moaning)
I'm gonna ride a roller coaster
with you, Boo Boo,
you disgusting, beautiful,
garbage angel.
It happened right here,
kids, right here.
A gangster got plugged
in this corner.
Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom!
Mm.
Package for Tina.
Oh, Tina, you got a package?
Oh, no, Aunt Gayle's
been saying she's gonna
send me all her old bras.
This must be it.
You'd better share.
Come on, Tina, sign the thing.
The man's got other deliveries.
Pretty heavy, should I help you
carry it up to your room?
Yes, I should.
Come on, let's go.
I got another one here.
Are you gonna give it to us?
I don't know, is it gonna be
a whole long thing
like the last one?
No, no, we'll-we'll
make it pretty quick.
Oh, it's from
the Historical Society.
They must have sent the plaque.
Jealous?
I'll live.
I want to be like you, Mike.
You want to be a billionaire
who delivers mail for fun?
What?!
Just kidding.
I'm not a billionaire,
but I'm rich in mail.
Get ready, T.
You're gonna love this.
Surprise!
You just joined the Boo Crew!
I didn't sign up for that.
Right, I signed you up,
and Boo Boo's people
sent a package
with everything you
need to get out there
and win that roller
coaster ride!
And best of all?
I'll ride with you.
You know, chaperone.
Make sure you crazy kids
don't get into trouble.
But Boo Boo's the reason
Boyz 4 Now broke up.
I have a Boo Boo
boo boo on my soul.
Why don't you do it without me?
And how would
that work, exactly?
This is your world, T.
Right, but you're the one
who has a crush.
I do not have a crush
on Boo Boo.
I slapped him out of my system!
I slapped him out!
Okay, but at the concert
you were not...
I don't even
remember that concert
and I do not have
dreams about it ever.
Sure, sure.
So, you don't get chills
when you hear Boo Boo sing...
♪ Let me dry your tears ♪
♪ Because you just
pierced your ears ♪
(moans) ♪ You have tears
in your ears, girl ♪
(grunts) ♪ You have
tears in your ear... ♪
Stop! The line is,
"Are those tears in your ears?"
It's a question!
Whoops.
Aha!
Okay, Tina, we can
play the gotcha game,
but here's the truth:
today you don't like Boo Boo,
but tomorrow you might,
and you'll be kicking yourself
for not entering this contest.
What if the fan club finds out?
We took a motion.
We did a chant.
Chants are not legally binding
in our state, okay, Tina?
You're right,
and you're my sister.
I-I want to do this for you.
Okay, we're doing it for you,
but yeah, great, let's do it.
Bobby, think about it.
It could go right here.
I don't know.
Do we really want to be
the murder restaurant?
If it comes with
a plaque like this, sure.
So official.
We're like the White House.
Hey, what are you doing, Bob?
Putting up a warning sign?
Danger: Dumb Guy Inside.
(laughs)
Zoom!
Good one, Jimmy.
Yeah.
Whoa, there was a mob
hit at this place?
No fair, how did you
get something cool?
Hmm... well, bye.
Hey, I-I-I love mob stuff.
I-I mean the clothes,
the dames, the movies.
Oh, I love the movies!
Okay, see you later.
Johnny Dangerously.
Joe Piscopo in his prime.
Now, that's the movie
that made me
want to be an Italian.
So, you gonna put this,
uh, plaque up or what?
No, we're not.
You're not gonna do anything
at all with this, huh?
Uh... no.
Huh... good to know.
(laughs) Good to know.
W-Wait, that doesn't mean
you can do something, Jimmy.
Bada bing, Bob.
This is still our mob hit.
I can't hear you over me
saying, "Bada bing, Bob!"
Bada bing.
Linda, stop it.
It's fun to say, it's Italian.
It's not Italian.
JIMMY (muffled): Bada bing, Bob.
Bada bing.
Stop saying "Bada bing"!
Boo Boo's coming to
Wonder Wharf this Saturday.
So, the crew that gets
the most sign-ups
for Boo Boo's e-mail list
wins the roller coaster ride.
Am I missing something?
Can it be that easy?
Our Boo Crew is just you and me.
Kind of more of a Boo Two.
Not if we have Gene...
You had me at
"Not if we have Gene."
and that makes three,
and maybe we'll scout around,
fill out the ranks a little bit.
Who's gonna help us?
Right now everyone
hates Boo Boo except us.
It's like that Boyz 4 Now song,
"Girl, Everyone Hates
You Now Except Us."
What we need are a couple
of cold-blooded mercenaries
who will do anything
for the right price.
(gargles) Now you try it.
(gargles) Now you try it.
This stuff is great!
Let's try to breathe it!
Okay!
(Andy and Ollie coughing)
Andy, Ollie, I know you
guys got a lot going on
right now,
but we need your help.
Yay!
Yay!
Hello, kind sir, sign up
for Boo Boo's mailing list?
Are you walking away 'cause
you want me to follow you?
We didn't get any e-mails,
but Ollie found a paper clip.
And Andy found
a hundred dollars.
Trade you for
that paper clip. Okay!
Oh, no.
What?
It's Krissy.
If she finds out
about our Boo Crew
she'll be... Tina?
Krissy, crazy
running into you here.
Does your shirt say "Boo Crew"?
No, it says, "boo-merang"
because I like boomerangs,
because I'm from Australia.
G'day, mate.
Nice.
Move the clipboard for a second?
What clipboard? This clipboard
or your clipboard?
You don't have a clipboard.
Krissy, are you okay?
Look at this
hardworking Boo Crew.
Boo Boo forever, right?
Gene.
Tina, you joined
a Boo Crew?!
What the hell?!
What happened to
my boomerang shirt?
This is actionable.
You're out of the Boyz
4 Now fan club, Tina.
You're out!
Krissy, please...
Okay, everyone's
getting a little hot.
We're all just people
wearing T-shirts,
trying to get through the day.
I've made my decision.
Hand over your membership card
and forget the secret handshake.
Forget it!
I lost my membership card,
and I never really knew
the handshake that well to begin
with, it keeps changing, so...
I know it.
How do I know it?
Good-bye, Tina.
(nervous groaning)
(nervous groaning)
Tina?
You with me, girl?
I loved that fan club,
and Krissy just
tossed me aside like
one of Griffin's sweat
towels after he does
the Maniac dance during
the Boyz 4 Now cover of "Maniac,"
which appeared on their covers
album We Got You Covered!
Easy, girl, easy.
(sighs)
I don't know if I can do this.
Whoa, quitting is not an option.
Do you hear me?
Okay, maybe just...
you know, take some Tina time.
Gene, uh, rub her back.
Let me know how my pressure is.
(groaning)
You've sacrificed a lot, Tina.
We all have.
Not really.
Yeah, mostly Tina.
Bup, bup, bup, shh!
We are so close
to winning this thing,
I can just slap it.
I mean, taste it.
What's happening
over at Pesto's?
Okay, okay, gather around.
BOB: Oh, my God.
I told you he'd do this.
So, recently some kind
of history guy came over
and gave me the best news
of my life.
Back in nineteen-eleventy-seven,
a real-life mobster was gunned
down in my restaurant.
You got to be kidding me, Jimmy!
It happened right here, folks,
in this very establishment.
He's lying!
It happened at my restaurant!
Right over there!
Oh, yeah?
Then how come I'm the one
with the plaque?
(crowd gasps)
He bada-binged us.
"On this spot
in Prohibition times,
"a mobster got
whacked while eating.
This became the basis
for the hit film Dick Tracy."
What?! That's ridiculous!
Hold on, Bob.
The guy from the paper
wants a picture.
Cheese pizza!
Now I'd like to invite
everyone to come in and...
(à la Tony Montana): say hello
to my little drink specials!
(laughs)
Rat-a-tat-a-tat-a-tat-a-tat.
Rat-a-tat-a-tat-tat-da-da-da.
Jimmy, you can't just put up
a plaque and make it true.
I have history on my side!
Easy, easy, Bob.
It's okay.
History's dumb,
everyone knows it.
It's like,
been there, done that.
I can't believe it.
We've been doing
this for three days.
We haven't gotten a single
e-mail for the mailing list.
People do not seem to trust us
with their personal information.
Here we go,
two live ones coming.
Excuse me, hi!
Do you have a moment
to chat about Boo Boo or...
where are you going?
Sorry.
They're getting away!
Blockers, get them!
Windmill arms!
(girl yells)
Your loss!
You're really bad at this.
Robin?
What do you want?
Look, I shouldn't be here,
but things have gotten
kind of weird in the club.
After Krissy kicked you out,
she called everyone
over to her house
and, I'm not gonna lie, Tina,
some horrible things
were said about you
and Boo Boo.
Mostly about Boo Boo?
Mostly you...
Right, right, right.
And mostly by me,
but here's the thing:
you gave Krissy the idea
to turn the fan club
into a Boo Crew.
Really?
But they hate Boo Boo.
Exactly.
When Krissy suggested
entering Boo Boo's contest,
we were all like, "What?"
But her plan was diabolical.
She said she wanted to win
that roller coaster ride
with Boo Boo, eat a bunch
of junk food at the wharf,
and go from Boo Crew
to Spew Crew.
I like that the last part rhymed
but I don't think
I know what it means.
I mean they're gonna
throw up on Boo Boo.
Oh, no.
What?! Yup, they're gonna get
every snack on the Wharf: chili...
(Tina and Louise gasping)
chili boats... tacos...
taco boats... corn dogs...
Don't say corn dog boats!
Corn dog boats...
(yells)
and it's all gonna
be on Boo Boo's face.
They're going puke-ular.
Why are you telling us this?
'Cause I used to like Boo Boo
and I don't like
throwing up on people.
I like throwing up on people.
I mean, I don't love it,
but I'll do it. TINA: Mm.
Boo Boo may have
broken up the band,
but at the end of the day...
Boo Boo was the band.
Exactly.
I mean, hmm, you think so?
Cool perspective and no
wonder people are so upset.
And by the way, Krissy's got,
like, a million sign-ups.
What?! We can't get
anyone to sign up!
How does she do it?
Her Dad signed everyone up
at his company
without them knowing.
It was crazy.
I think he might go to jail.
Krissy and her dad aren't
the only ones
who can play dirty.
Yeah, Krissy's mom, too.
No, I meant us.
(cheerful music plays)
Just look at him out there.
(Jimmy laughing) Unbelievable.
Forget him, Bob.
You didn't want to put up
the plaque, anyway.
That's not the point!
He's lying, Lin,
he's a total fraud!
Jimmy's not gonna
get away with this.
Bob, what are you gonna do?
I'm gonna call
that history professor.
Oh... tough guy!
We got a lot of sign-ups.
I think we might just
have a shot at this thing.
I mean, you might, Tina.
I-I don't care.
It's okay for you
to be excited, Louise.
Yeah, it's okay
for you to be excited.
Right... listen,
every day at around 2:30,
my armpits get sweaty...
Okay...
and I used to hate
raising my hand in class
to answer a question,
but one day I had to say,
who cares?
I have swampy armpits
and I'm gonna answer
all the questions I want.
I'm swampy and I'm proud.
Tina, where are you
going with this?
I'm saying, just because
you think something
is embarrassing doesn't mean
you have to be
embarrassed by it.
We all have our swampy pits.
My swampy pits is swampy pits.
Maybe your swampy pits
is Boo Boo.
Mm-hmm, have you tried
Dad's deodorant?
It's, like, military grade.
He gets it on the Dark Web.
Good morning, Boo Boo Boosters!
It's a beautiful day
to love Boo Boo!
Oh, I hope we win!
That's what I was hoping, too.
We're going to win.
Boo Squared is gonna
be out here in a bit,
but first let's find out
which lucky Boo Crew won
the Ride a Roller Coaster
with Boo Boo contest!
Ah... the suspense is...
Krissy Davis' crew,
that's who won.
Oh, no!
(Krissy cheering)
Hell yes, Krissy!
Hell yes, Krissy!
Sorry, I should have drawn
that out more, made it suspenseful.
No!
All right, let's get the winning
Boo Crew up here onstage!
This can't be right.
Recount, recount!
So, Krissy, you and your crew
are seconds away
from meeting Boo Boo.
How do you feel?
(mumbling)
(laughs) Lovely girl.
Oh, my God.
She's gonna be
so full of corn dogs.
Hey, look out!
(music blasting)
She's gonna throw up on Boo Boo!
They're all gonna...
Boo Boo, everybody!
(gasps) Boo Boo!
Boo Boo's big enough to ride!
Yeah!
Just kissing the line there.
Now let's get these crazy
kids on the roller coaster.
(yelling)
No, no, no, no.
You're not allowed up here.
You don't get it!
They're gonna...
(Louise groans)
Their puke is on your hands!
I mean, it's gonna be
on his face, but...
Thanks again for
coming, Professor.
So, the plan is, we burst
in there, we get everyone's
attention with the photo,
and then you tell them
where it really happened.
Now I know how Freddie
the Face must have felt
right before taking
out The Grunt.
Where's the plaque, by the way?
You should have
gotten it by now.
Huh, I don't know.
Maybe it got lost in the mail.
I mean, I bet that happens
a lot with, uh, plaques.
You don't know the half of it.
Okay, here we go.
(indistinct chatter)
All right, now?
Not yet.
It happened right there.
Can you believe it?
Rat-a-tat-a-tat-
a-tat-a-tat-a-tat.
That's what it sounded like.
See, I'm good at sounds.
Now? Or...
And he's all...
(screams)
and the blood's going...
wow!
It was like, zoom!
(laughs)
(distorted): It's the best thing
that's ever happened to me!
Rat-a-tat-a-tat-
a-tat-a-tat-a-tat.
I can't do it.
I've never seen him so happy.
I-I'm calling off the hit.
What?!
I mean, look at him.
H-He needs this.
Taking it away from him
would be like taking a toy
away from a giant, stupid baby.
But he seems like such a jerk.
He is.
He's what we historians
would call a douche bag.
I know.
Here, come back to my place.
I-I'll buy you a burger.
You're my best friend, Bob.
Really?
Uh, okay.
They're having the ride of
their lives up there with Boo Boo!
When's it gonna happen?
When's it gonna happen, Robin?!
I don't know!
I left before Krissy
worked out the details.
Well, it's got to happen soon,
the ride's almost over.
I'm not scared!
I'm not scared!
I'm not scared! I'm not scared!
I'm not scared...
You're crushing it up there,
Boo Boo, crushing it!
That was the last turn.
They're almost done.
Maybe they couldn't throw up
so they just burped in his face.
Oh, my God.
It was never supposed to happen
on the roller coaster.
What do you mean?
A roller coaster
is a horrible place
to barf on someone.
The barf would get everywhere,
it might even miss Boo Boo.
Who's Miss Boo Boo?
Is she our teacher?
All right, time for a photo
with Boo Boo
and the lucky winners.
Out of my way!
(Louise grunts)
(girls heaving) Hmm. Ooh. Mm.
(Louise grunts)
Move it!
Whoa!
Somebody get this girl
a barf bag!
Step aside.
Okay, come with me.
It's cool, Meredith.
Come on, girls, don't fight.
There's plenty of Boo for you.
(girls heaving) Move!
He deserves this!
(heaving)
We hate him!
Everybody hates him!
Not everybody.
I... I like him.
I mean, I hate him
but I like him!
I-I like him a lot
and it's terrible!
That's it, girl.
It makes no sense!
What is he, even?!
He's like a... a piece
of candy with hair.
Or like a boy mixed with
a baby mixed with a girl.
Mixed with an actor,
mixed with an artist,
mixed with a model.
Move!
(heaves)
No, I'm not done,
but just because
he's embarrassing in,
like, every way
I can think of...
Okay, that hurts.
Shush!
Just because he's embarrassing
doesn't mean I'm embarrassed.
You hear me, people?
I'm saying it loud and proud:
I like Boo Boo!
Yay, Louise.
Oh, swampy pits.
Is it 2:30 already?
Stop... talking...
and... move!
Krissy, I get it.
You thought you'd
always have Boyz 4 Now
and Boo Boo took that away,
but if you barf on Boo Boo,
you barf on yourself, too...
I mean, there's gonna
be splashback...
but also you barf
on the part of you
that liked Boo Boo so much.
Boo Boo's not real.
None of this is real,
but what you felt is real...
and if you barf on it,
then you're gonna
have barf on it.
Maybe... you're right.
Oh, God, I can't hold it!
(girls retching)
Okay, can we get a whole bunch
of napkins over here?
You're doing the right thing,
Krissy.
You know, we've
had our differences,
but I guess it's time for me
to rejoin the fan club.
Okay.
(vomits)
Great, could you show me
the secret handshake,
because...?
Okay, you're busy.
So, here we are again,
face to face.
What do you mean again?
Eh, you might not remember.
Do you remember this?
Oh, my God, how are you?
Okay, let's get you out of here.
Bye, girls, bye!
Can't wait to hear the album!
I'm proud of you, Louise.
Ugh, he's the worst.
I miss him so much.
BOO BOO: ♪ I'm tall enough
to ride your heart ♪
♪ Keep your arms and lips
inside my car ♪
If you have a heart condition,
♪ I'm tall enough ♪
Consult your doctor
before riding.
Don't raise the safety bar
♪ Tall enough ♪
When the car is in motion.
Don't be scared, girl.
♪ I'm tall enough ♪
I will protect you
♪ Tall enough ♪
And so will the safety bar.
♪ Ooh ♪
♪ I'm tall enough
to ride your heart ♪
♪ Keep your arms and lips
inside my car ♪
♪ Ooh ♪
Do not attempt to exit the car
♪ I'm tall enough ♪
Until we come to a full stop.
♪ Tall enough ♪
Oh, look, they're selling
a picture of us
on the ride.
♪ I'm tall enough ♪
You look really scared.
Not me.
♪ Tall enough ♪
♪ I'm tall enough ♪
♪ Ooh ♪
♪ To ride your heart ♪
♪ Keep your arms and lips
inside my car. ♪
Someone needs to stop Clearway Law.
Public shouldn't leave reviews for lawyers.
Public shouldn't leave reviews for lawyers.
I'm Tammy Larson
with Wagstaff School News.
Our top story:
Boyz 4 Now has broken up.
Son of a bitch!
It's true.
I'm not kidding,
I wish I was kidding,
I am not kidding.
Anyway, here's Jocelyn.
They're breaking up
because Boo Boo is
going solo,
but who cares about Boo Boo
because everyone
cool likes Griffin.
Or Alan.
Jocelyn, how are
the fans taking it?
(mumbling):
And I can't even think about it...
Stop it, Jocelyn.
(sobbing)
Don't you cry or I'm gonna cry.
(both crying)
Louise!
Geez, Tina!
Boyz 4 Now!
Boo Boo!
Did you hear?
I heard.
Pull yourself together.
We need each other right now.
Come here.
(groaning)
I'm fine, let go!
Fine, like you're a mess fine?
Tina, Boyz 4 Now is your thing.
I could care less.
But remember when
we went to the concert
and you kind of lost your mind?
Listen, some freak thing
happened to me at that concert
but then I slapped Boo Boo's
face and now I'm cured.
Slap therapy, Tina.
Ask your doctor.
She's happy and slappy!
Well, I'm glad to hear that...
Thanks.
But the Boyz 4 Now
fan club I belong to
is having an emergency
meeting after school.
It would mean a lot
if you went with me.
Why would I go with you, Tina?
Did you not hear me just now?
I did, it's just...
I could really use some
sister support today.
I think she means from you.
Okay, Tina, I'll come.
Thanks, Louise.
Who wants to join
my Tater Tot club?
We're meeting right now!
What's he doing out there?
Maybe he's wondering
the same thing
about us, Bob.
Yes, this is the place.
Hi, can we help you?
Ah, that corner.
That's where he got shot.
Shot?!
Who got shot?
Somebody got shot?!
Yes, The Grunt got
shot right there.
Who's The Grunt?
What the hell's a grunt?
Dominic "The Grunt" Gruntanno,
one of the biggest bootleggers
on this stretch of coast,
and he was gunned down
right here in 1931.
That's pretty interesting.
Here, have a look
at the crime scene photo.
BOB: Whoa. LINDA: Ugh!
Aw, and it looks like
he just got his steak.
Whoever shot him was good
at shooting someone a lot.
I'm Dr. Donald Wallace,
and I'm researching a book
on this area during Prohibition.
This restaurant is a big find.
Do you want me to try
to get you a plaque?
I'm on the board at
the Historical Society.
I love plaques!
It's like jewelry for buildings.
Uh, I-I don't know if
we need a-a plaque.
Bob, take the plaque!
All the best restaurants
and benches have plaques.
Ooh, I love benches.
Bob, take the plaque.
We'll be like a bench.
Oh, my God.
This is where
we have the meetings.
It's Krissy's house.
She's president of the fan club.
Great, great.
If you get emotional in there
and need a break, let me know.
Not gonna happen, but thanks.
Also, this is a shoes-off house,
so do your best to act
like that's not weird.
(doorbell rings)
Hello, Tina.
Krissy!
Shoes go here, right?
Here they go.
LOUISE:
Whoa, depression is in session.
Everybody, this is
my sister, Louise.
She's sitting
in with us tonight.
Oh, welcome, Louise.
I'm Krissy.
My favorite Boy 4 Now
is Griffin.
Ashley, favorite boy, Alan.
Robin, favorite boy
formerly Boo Boo,
now A.B.B.B.:
Anybody But Boo Boo.
(crying): Carly, Griffin.
(crying): Becca, Alan.
(sobbing)
I'll go.
I'm Krissy's dad.
Favorite boy depends on my mood.
Usually it's Matt,
but in dark times like these,
Griffin's really
my guy as far as...
Shh, shh, not
your moment, honey.
We're all hurting.
Everyone's hurting.
Okay, everybody,
let's get started.
First I'd like to say,
what the fudge, right?!
(all yelling)
Who the hell does
Boo Boo think he is?!
Honey... (groans) No, sorry.
We were all thinking it. Yeah.
Official motion to boycott
Boo Boo's solo album
and all future merchandise.
I second.
I third.
The motion passes.
Noted.
Sorry, Louise.
No skin off my butt.
Before we continue,
I want to show you something.
As fan club president,
I receive special, exclusive
e-mails from Boyz 4 Now
and select corporate partners.
Some pretty deep discounts
on merch.
Snap up the T-shirts, guys.
Today's e-mail came
with a video.
(gasps) Boo Boo!
I mean... I don't care.
Hey, Boo Boo Boosters.
I miss your smiles.
A lot has happened lately.
I've grown as an artist
and also in my body.
It was time for me
to spread my wings
and fly away from Boyz 4 Now.
Matt, you're like a dad to me
'cause you're so old.
Griffin, Alan,
you know what you did.
Boo, boo!
Wait, that's confusing.
Are you saying "boo"
or "Boo Boo"?
"Boo" twice.
God, Ashley, come on.
Anyway, it's all good,
'cause I'm dropping
my first solo album,
Tall Enuff 2 Ride Your Heart.
♪ I'm tall enough
to ride your heart ♪
♪ Keep your arms and lips
inside my car... ♪
Ew, this song is bad.
It's crap!
Awful, pandering crap.
Geez, ah!
To promote the new album,
I'm gonna be kicking it
at some super fun
amusement parks.
He's coming to Wonder Wharf.
Boo Boo's coming
to Wonder Wharf?
Huh, okay.
If you help get the word out,
you and your friends could win
a ride with me on
a grown-up roller coaster
because I am big enough
to ride one, I am!
Me and my friends
could win a ride with him
on a grown-up roller coaster.
Go to my Web site and turn
your Boyz 4 Now fan club
into a Boo Crew,
and the heart I ride
might be yours.
Turn your fan club
into a Boo Crew?
Ugh, we hate Boo Boo!
ALL: We hate Boo Boo!
We hate Boo Boo!
We hate Boo Boo!
Great.
We hate Boo Boo!
Lots of fun.
We hate Boo Boo!
So... bye.
Louise?
(panting)
(moaning)
I'm gonna ride a roller coaster
with you, Boo Boo,
you disgusting, beautiful,
garbage angel.
It happened right here,
kids, right here.
A gangster got plugged
in this corner.
Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom!
Mm.
Package for Tina.
Oh, Tina, you got a package?
Oh, no, Aunt Gayle's
been saying she's gonna
send me all her old bras.
This must be it.
You'd better share.
Come on, Tina, sign the thing.
The man's got other deliveries.
Pretty heavy, should I help you
carry it up to your room?
Yes, I should.
Come on, let's go.
I got another one here.
Are you gonna give it to us?
I don't know, is it gonna be
a whole long thing
like the last one?
No, no, we'll-we'll
make it pretty quick.
Oh, it's from
the Historical Society.
They must have sent the plaque.
Jealous?
I'll live.
I want to be like you, Mike.
You want to be a billionaire
who delivers mail for fun?
What?!
Just kidding.
I'm not a billionaire,
but I'm rich in mail.
Get ready, T.
You're gonna love this.
Surprise!
You just joined the Boo Crew!
I didn't sign up for that.
Right, I signed you up,
and Boo Boo's people
sent a package
with everything you
need to get out there
and win that roller
coaster ride!
And best of all?
I'll ride with you.
You know, chaperone.
Make sure you crazy kids
don't get into trouble.
But Boo Boo's the reason
Boyz 4 Now broke up.
I have a Boo Boo
boo boo on my soul.
Why don't you do it without me?
And how would
that work, exactly?
This is your world, T.
Right, but you're the one
who has a crush.
I do not have a crush
on Boo Boo.
I slapped him out of my system!
I slapped him out!
Okay, but at the concert
you were not...
I don't even
remember that concert
and I do not have
dreams about it ever.
Sure, sure.
So, you don't get chills
when you hear Boo Boo sing...
♪ Let me dry your tears ♪
♪ Because you just
pierced your ears ♪
(moans) ♪ You have tears
in your ears, girl ♪
(grunts) ♪ You have
tears in your ear... ♪
Stop! The line is,
"Are those tears in your ears?"
It's a question!
Whoops.
Aha!
Okay, Tina, we can
play the gotcha game,
but here's the truth:
today you don't like Boo Boo,
but tomorrow you might,
and you'll be kicking yourself
for not entering this contest.
What if the fan club finds out?
We took a motion.
We did a chant.
Chants are not legally binding
in our state, okay, Tina?
You're right,
and you're my sister.
I-I want to do this for you.
Okay, we're doing it for you,
but yeah, great, let's do it.
Bobby, think about it.
It could go right here.
I don't know.
Do we really want to be
the murder restaurant?
If it comes with
a plaque like this, sure.
So official.
We're like the White House.
Hey, what are you doing, Bob?
Putting up a warning sign?
Danger: Dumb Guy Inside.
(laughs)
Zoom!
Good one, Jimmy.
Yeah.
Whoa, there was a mob
hit at this place?
No fair, how did you
get something cool?
Hmm... well, bye.
Hey, I-I-I love mob stuff.
I-I mean the clothes,
the dames, the movies.
Oh, I love the movies!
Okay, see you later.
Johnny Dangerously.
Joe Piscopo in his prime.
Now, that's the movie
that made me
want to be an Italian.
So, you gonna put this,
uh, plaque up or what?
No, we're not.
You're not gonna do anything
at all with this, huh?
Uh... no.
Huh... good to know.
(laughs) Good to know.
W-Wait, that doesn't mean
you can do something, Jimmy.
Bada bing, Bob.
This is still our mob hit.
I can't hear you over me
saying, "Bada bing, Bob!"
Bada bing.
Linda, stop it.
It's fun to say, it's Italian.
It's not Italian.
JIMMY (muffled): Bada bing, Bob.
Bada bing.
Stop saying "Bada bing"!
Boo Boo's coming to
Wonder Wharf this Saturday.
So, the crew that gets
the most sign-ups
for Boo Boo's e-mail list
wins the roller coaster ride.
Am I missing something?
Can it be that easy?
Our Boo Crew is just you and me.
Kind of more of a Boo Two.
Not if we have Gene...
You had me at
"Not if we have Gene."
and that makes three,
and maybe we'll scout around,
fill out the ranks a little bit.
Who's gonna help us?
Right now everyone
hates Boo Boo except us.
It's like that Boyz 4 Now song,
"Girl, Everyone Hates
You Now Except Us."
What we need are a couple
of cold-blooded mercenaries
who will do anything
for the right price.
(gargles) Now you try it.
(gargles) Now you try it.
This stuff is great!
Let's try to breathe it!
Okay!
(Andy and Ollie coughing)
Andy, Ollie, I know you
guys got a lot going on
right now,
but we need your help.
Yay!
Yay!
Hello, kind sir, sign up
for Boo Boo's mailing list?
Are you walking away 'cause
you want me to follow you?
We didn't get any e-mails,
but Ollie found a paper clip.
And Andy found
a hundred dollars.
Trade you for
that paper clip. Okay!
Oh, no.
What?
It's Krissy.
If she finds out
about our Boo Crew
she'll be... Tina?
Krissy, crazy
running into you here.
Does your shirt say "Boo Crew"?
No, it says, "boo-merang"
because I like boomerangs,
because I'm from Australia.
G'day, mate.
Nice.
Move the clipboard for a second?
What clipboard? This clipboard
or your clipboard?
You don't have a clipboard.
Krissy, are you okay?
Look at this
hardworking Boo Crew.
Boo Boo forever, right?
Gene.
Tina, you joined
a Boo Crew?!
What the hell?!
What happened to
my boomerang shirt?
This is actionable.
You're out of the Boyz
4 Now fan club, Tina.
You're out!
Krissy, please...
Okay, everyone's
getting a little hot.
We're all just people
wearing T-shirts,
trying to get through the day.
I've made my decision.
Hand over your membership card
and forget the secret handshake.
Forget it!
I lost my membership card,
and I never really knew
the handshake that well to begin
with, it keeps changing, so...
I know it.
How do I know it?
Good-bye, Tina.
(nervous groaning)
(nervous groaning)
Tina?
You with me, girl?
I loved that fan club,
and Krissy just
tossed me aside like
one of Griffin's sweat
towels after he does
the Maniac dance during
the Boyz 4 Now cover of "Maniac,"
which appeared on their covers
album We Got You Covered!
Easy, girl, easy.
(sighs)
I don't know if I can do this.
Whoa, quitting is not an option.
Do you hear me?
Okay, maybe just...
you know, take some Tina time.
Gene, uh, rub her back.
Let me know how my pressure is.
(groaning)
You've sacrificed a lot, Tina.
We all have.
Not really.
Yeah, mostly Tina.
Bup, bup, bup, shh!
We are so close
to winning this thing,
I can just slap it.
I mean, taste it.
What's happening
over at Pesto's?
Okay, okay, gather around.
BOB: Oh, my God.
I told you he'd do this.
So, recently some kind
of history guy came over
and gave me the best news
of my life.
Back in nineteen-eleventy-seven,
a real-life mobster was gunned
down in my restaurant.
You got to be kidding me, Jimmy!
It happened right here, folks,
in this very establishment.
He's lying!
It happened at my restaurant!
Right over there!
Oh, yeah?
Then how come I'm the one
with the plaque?
(crowd gasps)
He bada-binged us.
"On this spot
in Prohibition times,
"a mobster got
whacked while eating.
This became the basis
for the hit film Dick Tracy."
What?! That's ridiculous!
Hold on, Bob.
The guy from the paper
wants a picture.
Cheese pizza!
Now I'd like to invite
everyone to come in and...
(à la Tony Montana): say hello
to my little drink specials!
(laughs)
Rat-a-tat-a-tat-a-tat-a-tat.
Rat-a-tat-a-tat-tat-da-da-da.
Jimmy, you can't just put up
a plaque and make it true.
I have history on my side!
Easy, easy, Bob.
It's okay.
History's dumb,
everyone knows it.
It's like,
been there, done that.
I can't believe it.
We've been doing
this for three days.
We haven't gotten a single
e-mail for the mailing list.
People do not seem to trust us
with their personal information.
Here we go,
two live ones coming.
Excuse me, hi!
Do you have a moment
to chat about Boo Boo or...
where are you going?
Sorry.
They're getting away!
Blockers, get them!
Windmill arms!
(girl yells)
Your loss!
You're really bad at this.
Robin?
What do you want?
Look, I shouldn't be here,
but things have gotten
kind of weird in the club.
After Krissy kicked you out,
she called everyone
over to her house
and, I'm not gonna lie, Tina,
some horrible things
were said about you
and Boo Boo.
Mostly about Boo Boo?
Mostly you...
Right, right, right.
And mostly by me,
but here's the thing:
you gave Krissy the idea
to turn the fan club
into a Boo Crew.
Really?
But they hate Boo Boo.
Exactly.
When Krissy suggested
entering Boo Boo's contest,
we were all like, "What?"
But her plan was diabolical.
She said she wanted to win
that roller coaster ride
with Boo Boo, eat a bunch
of junk food at the wharf,
and go from Boo Crew
to Spew Crew.
I like that the last part rhymed
but I don't think
I know what it means.
I mean they're gonna
throw up on Boo Boo.
Oh, no.
What?! Yup, they're gonna get
every snack on the Wharf: chili...
(Tina and Louise gasping)
chili boats... tacos...
taco boats... corn dogs...
Don't say corn dog boats!
Corn dog boats...
(yells)
and it's all gonna
be on Boo Boo's face.
They're going puke-ular.
Why are you telling us this?
'Cause I used to like Boo Boo
and I don't like
throwing up on people.
I like throwing up on people.
I mean, I don't love it,
but I'll do it. TINA: Mm.
Boo Boo may have
broken up the band,
but at the end of the day...
Boo Boo was the band.
Exactly.
I mean, hmm, you think so?
Cool perspective and no
wonder people are so upset.
And by the way, Krissy's got,
like, a million sign-ups.
What?! We can't get
anyone to sign up!
How does she do it?
Her Dad signed everyone up
at his company
without them knowing.
It was crazy.
I think he might go to jail.
Krissy and her dad aren't
the only ones
who can play dirty.
Yeah, Krissy's mom, too.
No, I meant us.
(cheerful music plays)
Just look at him out there.
(Jimmy laughing) Unbelievable.
Forget him, Bob.
You didn't want to put up
the plaque, anyway.
That's not the point!
He's lying, Lin,
he's a total fraud!
Jimmy's not gonna
get away with this.
Bob, what are you gonna do?
I'm gonna call
that history professor.
Oh... tough guy!
We got a lot of sign-ups.
I think we might just
have a shot at this thing.
I mean, you might, Tina.
I-I don't care.
It's okay for you
to be excited, Louise.
Yeah, it's okay
for you to be excited.
Right... listen,
every day at around 2:30,
my armpits get sweaty...
Okay...
and I used to hate
raising my hand in class
to answer a question,
but one day I had to say,
who cares?
I have swampy armpits
and I'm gonna answer
all the questions I want.
I'm swampy and I'm proud.
Tina, where are you
going with this?
I'm saying, just because
you think something
is embarrassing doesn't mean
you have to be
embarrassed by it.
We all have our swampy pits.
My swampy pits is swampy pits.
Maybe your swampy pits
is Boo Boo.
Mm-hmm, have you tried
Dad's deodorant?
It's, like, military grade.
He gets it on the Dark Web.
Good morning, Boo Boo Boosters!
It's a beautiful day
to love Boo Boo!
Oh, I hope we win!
That's what I was hoping, too.
We're going to win.
Boo Squared is gonna
be out here in a bit,
but first let's find out
which lucky Boo Crew won
the Ride a Roller Coaster
with Boo Boo contest!
Ah... the suspense is...
Krissy Davis' crew,
that's who won.
Oh, no!
(Krissy cheering)
Hell yes, Krissy!
Hell yes, Krissy!
Sorry, I should have drawn
that out more, made it suspenseful.
No!
All right, let's get the winning
Boo Crew up here onstage!
This can't be right.
Recount, recount!
So, Krissy, you and your crew
are seconds away
from meeting Boo Boo.
How do you feel?
(mumbling)
(laughs) Lovely girl.
Oh, my God.
She's gonna be
so full of corn dogs.
Hey, look out!
(music blasting)
She's gonna throw up on Boo Boo!
They're all gonna...
Boo Boo, everybody!
(gasps) Boo Boo!
Boo Boo's big enough to ride!
Yeah!
Just kissing the line there.
Now let's get these crazy
kids on the roller coaster.
(yelling)
No, no, no, no.
You're not allowed up here.
You don't get it!
They're gonna...
(Louise groans)
Their puke is on your hands!
I mean, it's gonna be
on his face, but...
Thanks again for
coming, Professor.
So, the plan is, we burst
in there, we get everyone's
attention with the photo,
and then you tell them
where it really happened.
Now I know how Freddie
the Face must have felt
right before taking
out The Grunt.
Where's the plaque, by the way?
You should have
gotten it by now.
Huh, I don't know.
Maybe it got lost in the mail.
I mean, I bet that happens
a lot with, uh, plaques.
You don't know the half of it.
Okay, here we go.
(indistinct chatter)
All right, now?
Not yet.
It happened right there.
Can you believe it?
Rat-a-tat-a-tat-
a-tat-a-tat-a-tat.
That's what it sounded like.
See, I'm good at sounds.
Now? Or...
And he's all...
(screams)
and the blood's going...
wow!
It was like, zoom!
(laughs)
(distorted): It's the best thing
that's ever happened to me!
Rat-a-tat-a-tat-
a-tat-a-tat-a-tat.
I can't do it.
I've never seen him so happy.
I-I'm calling off the hit.
What?!
I mean, look at him.
H-He needs this.
Taking it away from him
would be like taking a toy
away from a giant, stupid baby.
But he seems like such a jerk.
He is.
He's what we historians
would call a douche bag.
I know.
Here, come back to my place.
I-I'll buy you a burger.
You're my best friend, Bob.
Really?
Uh, okay.
They're having the ride of
their lives up there with Boo Boo!
When's it gonna happen?
When's it gonna happen, Robin?!
I don't know!
I left before Krissy
worked out the details.
Well, it's got to happen soon,
the ride's almost over.
I'm not scared!
I'm not scared!
I'm not scared! I'm not scared!
I'm not scared...
You're crushing it up there,
Boo Boo, crushing it!
That was the last turn.
They're almost done.
Maybe they couldn't throw up
so they just burped in his face.
Oh, my God.
It was never supposed to happen
on the roller coaster.
What do you mean?
A roller coaster
is a horrible place
to barf on someone.
The barf would get everywhere,
it might even miss Boo Boo.
Who's Miss Boo Boo?
Is she our teacher?
All right, time for a photo
with Boo Boo
and the lucky winners.
Out of my way!
(Louise grunts)
(girls heaving) Hmm. Ooh. Mm.
(Louise grunts)
Move it!
Whoa!
Somebody get this girl
a barf bag!
Step aside.
Okay, come with me.
It's cool, Meredith.
Come on, girls, don't fight.
There's plenty of Boo for you.
(girls heaving) Move!
He deserves this!
(heaving)
We hate him!
Everybody hates him!
Not everybody.
I... I like him.
I mean, I hate him
but I like him!
I-I like him a lot
and it's terrible!
That's it, girl.
It makes no sense!
What is he, even?!
He's like a... a piece
of candy with hair.
Or like a boy mixed with
a baby mixed with a girl.
Mixed with an actor,
mixed with an artist,
mixed with a model.
Move!
(heaves)
No, I'm not done,
but just because
he's embarrassing in,
like, every way
I can think of...
Okay, that hurts.
Shush!
Just because he's embarrassing
doesn't mean I'm embarrassed.
You hear me, people?
I'm saying it loud and proud:
I like Boo Boo!
Yay, Louise.
Oh, swampy pits.
Is it 2:30 already?
Stop... talking...
and... move!
Krissy, I get it.
You thought you'd
always have Boyz 4 Now
and Boo Boo took that away,
but if you barf on Boo Boo,
you barf on yourself, too...
I mean, there's gonna
be splashback...
but also you barf
on the part of you
that liked Boo Boo so much.
Boo Boo's not real.
None of this is real,
but what you felt is real...
and if you barf on it,
then you're gonna
have barf on it.
Maybe... you're right.
Oh, God, I can't hold it!
(girls retching)
Okay, can we get a whole bunch
of napkins over here?
You're doing the right thing,
Krissy.
You know, we've
had our differences,
but I guess it's time for me
to rejoin the fan club.
Okay.
(vomits)
Great, could you show me
the secret handshake,
because...?
Okay, you're busy.
So, here we are again,
face to face.
What do you mean again?
Eh, you might not remember.
Do you remember this?
Oh, my God, how are you?
Okay, let's get you out of here.
Bye, girls, bye!
Can't wait to hear the album!
I'm proud of you, Louise.
Ugh, he's the worst.
I miss him so much.
BOO BOO: ♪ I'm tall enough
to ride your heart ♪
♪ Keep your arms and lips
inside my car ♪
If you have a heart condition,
♪ I'm tall enough ♪
Consult your doctor
before riding.
Don't raise the safety bar
♪ Tall enough ♪
When the car is in motion.
Don't be scared, girl.
♪ I'm tall enough ♪
I will protect you
♪ Tall enough ♪
And so will the safety bar.
♪ Ooh ♪
♪ I'm tall enough
to ride your heart ♪
♪ Keep your arms and lips
inside my car ♪
♪ Ooh ♪
Do not attempt to exit the car
♪ I'm tall enough ♪
Until we come to a full stop.
♪ Tall enough ♪
Oh, look, they're selling
a picture of us
on the ride.
♪ I'm tall enough ♪
You look really scared.
Not me.
♪ Tall enough ♪
♪ I'm tall enough ♪
♪ Ooh ♪
♪ To ride your heart ♪
♪ Keep your arms and lips
inside my car. ♪
Someone needs to stop Clearway Law.
Public shouldn't leave reviews for lawyers.