Bob's Burgers (2011–…): Season 6, Episode 13 - Wag the Hog - full transcript
The Belchers try to help Bob's friend, Critter, after he lands in jail for unpaid parking tickets; Linda takes a job as a babysitter.
Someone needs to stop Clearway Law.
Public shouldn't leave reviews for lawyers.
LINDA: Who wants
Mommy's Famous Pancakes
with a chocolate chip
happy face on 'em?
I don't get why they're so happy.
They're about to be eaten.
And then worse.
I kind of want to slap
the smile off him.
Aw. When you guys were little,
you loved Mr. Flapjack.
Now you're just
a bunch of pancake poopers.
(phone buzzes) Dad, get it!
It could be the president
of breakfast calling
to congratulate us.
Hello?
Bob, it's me, Critter.
Oh, hey, Critter.
Hey, Critter! Hi, Critter.
Hey! Hi, Critter!
So, how are you?
Oh, can't complain, except
for the fact that I'm in jail.
You're in jail?
Critter got pinched.
What happened?
Uh, it's silly, really.
I got stopped
for a broken taillight,
and it turns out I owed $9,000
in unpaid parking tickets.
Wow, that's a lot
of unpaid parking tickets.
Bob, I'm in an outlaw
motorcycle club.
We don't pay parking tickets.
In fact, we make kind of
a whole big thing
about throwing 'em out.
♪ ♪
(whooping)
Yeah! Yeah! Mmm!
But I got to pay off this fine
and get out of jail.
That's where you come in.
W-Wait, wait. You want me
to help you get out of jail?
Jailbreak!
Tell him we're in.
I'll put on a dress
and distract the guard!
Yoo-hoo!
Just practicing.
Listen, Bob, I need you
to sell my bike for me
so I can pay off this fine
and get out of here.
Can't you call Mudflap?
No, Mudflap's
on a wilderness retreat
called "Women of the Wild."
They teach you
how to survive in the woods...
which dirt's edible, how to
confuse a bear, stuff like that.
Oh. Who's watching your baby?
Sidecar's with the sitter.
Look, I got a buyer lined up.
He'll give you ten grand for it.
That'll cover my fine.
Oh, I-I can't really
help you sell a motorcycle
that's probably...
stolen, I'm assuming.
GENE: Narc!
Bob, the bike's not stolen.
It's made from stolen parts.
Once you put them all together,
it's a brand-new bike. Hmm.
Here's what you got to do.
Go to my apartment,
get my bike, go to the buyer.
Another outlaw biker guy?
No, no, no, no, an investment
banker guy named Kenny.
He's super straight-laced,
kind of a big nerd,
but he thinks this biker stuff
will make him cool.
So when you drop off the bike,
make him feel cool.
He'll give you the money,
you pay my fine,
I get out of jail, we high five.
Critter, I really wish we could
help, but... (phone beeping)
Bob, my phone time's up.
I need a yes or no answer here.
No? Damn it! I don't know
why I gave you that option.
LOUISE:
So, let me get this straight.
Critter asked you for help,
and you told him to rot in jail?
Louise, that's not what
happened... exactly.
I just hope
when we call you from jail,
you'll help us out.
Yeah.
Of course we will!
And bring us a cake with
a smaller cake smuggled inside it!
So, we could stay here
at our boring restaurant
all day,
or we could help an outlaw biker
sell his motorcycle.
This is a no-brainer!
No.
Come on!
We never do fun activities
together!
This family is falling apart!
We're all just strangers
under the same roof.
Guys, selling
a probably stolen bike
isn't a fun family activity.
Going to the zoo is
a fun family activity.
Aw, I love the zoo.
So many animals.
Yeah, yeah.
(phone buzzing)
I don't know this number.
That's exciting.
Hello?
Bob, it's me again.
I'm talking on a butt phone.
What's a butt phone?
Well, it's a cell phone
somebody smuggled in here
in an orifice of his body.
Oh, okay.
Come on, I'm desperate here.
You're the only one
I can ask for help.
Why don't you just ask
the One Eyed Snakes?
The biker gang
that you're the leader of?
(muffled): I'm kind of on
a break from the One Eyed Snakes.
What? I can't understand you.
(muffled): I'm on a break
from the One Eyed Snakes.
I still can't make out
what you're saying.
I'm on a break from
the One Eyed Snakes! MAN: Hey.
Oh. Really?
You left the One Eyed Snakes? What?!
Great. Now everybody
in jail knows.
I'm probably
gonna get picked last
for riots and stuff like that.
What-what happened?
I'm a dad now.
I-I can't go out
till 6:00 in the morning
and then get up
at 6:00 in the morning.
I get it. Everything changes
when you have kids.
I heard your penis
gets stretched out,
and it's never the same. Gene.
Also, I got a straight job
at What the Tech.
It's an electronic superstore.
Critter, that's great!
I know, I know, right thing,
blah, blah, blah.
But here's why I got to
get out of jail ASAP.
I start today at 4:00.
If I don't show up,
I don't have a job.
And if I don't have a job,
I can't provide for my family.
But I guess I could always
go back to robbing.
Oh, come on, Critter.
Looting.
Critter. Coming up with more
and more interesting ways
to sell crystal methamphetamine.
Critter.
But maybe you can live with
that; maybe I had you wrong.
(sighs)
Okay, fine, I'll help you.
Oh, thank you, Bob!
I'm eternally grateful!
See you soon.
Love you.
Bye. Love you, too.
What happened?
You love him?
Oh, I guess I'm gonna help
Critter sell his bike.
ALL: Yay!
Lin, will you and the kids
watch the restaurant?
I'm gonna go to Critter's.
ALL: No!
I know you guys want to go,
but Lin, someone has
to watch the restaurant.
I want to see the baby.
Come on, Dad.
It's either this or the zoo.
And nobody wants to go
to the zoo except Mom.
I love the zoo.
Fine.
I guess we're closing
the restaurant
so we can help sell
a mostly stolen bike.
Yay! Close the restaurant!
Baby!
Zoo!
Tina! Oh. Right. Bike!
Hi, baby! Boop, boop!
(phone chimes)
Critter just texted.
From the butt phone?
I'm waiting for a fart fax.
He said to look for his
garage key next to the skull.
Which skull?
There are, like, 20 of them.
This one's cool.
Hi. How are you?
I don't know, I just
have a headache.
So, Sidecar just ate,
and I have to go.
Wait. What?
No, no, no.
Critter didn't say anything
about watching the baby.
Well, I have an exam.
And the professor says
I have to start going to those.
It's okay.
I can watch the baby.
Lin, no, we...
Give me the baby.
Oh, I got the baby!
He needs his nap soon.
And he's a little...
difficult to put down.
And if he doesn't get
his nap, he's...
I don't want to say
a horrifying monster,
but, um, have you seen
that movie Monster?
Oh, I can put him down.
I have three kids.
I can still rock Gene to sleep.
Gene, come here.
No! Stay away, you sleep witch!
Aw. Okay,
so call if you need anything.
But also, don't call
because I'll be in my exam.
Found the key. I'm supposed
to take the motorcycle
to a guy named Kenny
on Water Street.
Great. How are we supposed to
get it all the way over there?
I'll drive it.
No, Louise.
I guess I'll roll it over.
(Louise grunting)
That's bad ass, Dad.
You know what?
(Sidecar jabbers)
I'm just gonna put him
in the stroller,
walk around the block, and I bet
he falls asleep right away.
He just needs
an experienced mom.
Come on, baby.
Ooh, the baby. (laughs)
(laughs)
I'm killin' it with this kid.
I'm glad Mom has
someone else to smother
so I can finally grow up and...
Ooh! Rattle!
Shake, shake, shake!
Whoa!
Ah!
Oh, whoops,
you got away from me! Huh!
I got you back. You're safe.
(Sidecar jabbers gently)
♪ Sidecar thinks
I'm a fun Mommy... ♪
Sidecar, do you like your name?
(jabbering)
Oh, no. Yeah, I like it, too.
It's really... pretty.
Oh, Hot Totties!
I used to take the kids here
when they were babies. Hmm.
You're supposed
to be napping right now.
But you know what would be good?
To go in there
and get you tired out.
You want to go in?
Just look at me and say nothing
if you want to go in.
(jabbers)
I-I said say nothing.
(jabbering)
Say nothing.
All right, great,
we're going in.
(Bob grunting with effort)
This bike doesn't sound well.
Yeah, it doesn't
handle well, either.
You know, you guys are
making this much harder.
GENE:
And it kind of has an attitude.
Hey, that guy keeps
turning when we turn.
He's wearing loafers.
You know what that means.
He's got pennies.
TINA: Maybe he should use them
to buy socks. Am I right?
(grunting)
Let's see
if Preppy Pete turns, too.
LOUISE (gasps):
He is following us!
No, he's not, Louise.
He's just coincidentally turning
when we turn.
Maybe he's never seen a man's
back sweat as much as yours.
My back's not...
Oh, my God, it is.
Mm-hmm.
(jabbering)
Aw! That's nice.
They get along, don't they?
Yeah. They're baby buddies.
What's this one's name?
Sidecar.
What?
Si... Simon.
Simon. Says.
Well, that's a nice name.
Thank you!
This is Jacob.
Hi, Jacob!
I'm Linda.
And I'm Bethany.
Mama.
Hey, he called me Mama!
He's never... done that before?
Ah... no!
Well, this is a special moment!
(jabbers)
Yeah, it sure is, because,
uh, I-I'm Simon's mama!
Yeah.
Mm-hmm.
♪ Me and Simon. ♪
Gettin' through
the world together, huh?
Just us... two.
Yeah.
Right now,
till we go home later.
Are you married?
Yeah. No, yeah.
(door buzzer sounds)
Well, this is the address.
(Tina and Gene grunt)
Looks like we lost our stalker.
Louise, no one is stalking us.
Yeah, 'cause we lost him.
Are you Bob? Uh, yeah.
Kenny, right?
Critter's bike. Wow.
You guys don't look
like One Eyed Snakes.
How dare you.
You don't look like a Kenny.
Yeah, you look like an Ethan
or a Chad.
Nice jacket.
A lot of zippers.
Not too many, right?
No, no, no, no.
Wait, are you being sarcastic?
'Cause I'm really sensitive
right now. I just bought this.
Give us a twirl.
♪ Twirling. ♪ (whistles)
Okay, let's fire her up,
but not without my mandana.
Uh, okay. Yeah.
Time to go hog wild.
(grunts)
Time to go...
(grunting)
Okay, time to go... (grunt)
Hmm. Okay, time to... (grunts)
Hog. Time to go...
Let's try that again. Ready?
Time to go ho... Ow!
Time to go, oh, hog.
That's not it.
I'm starting to feel
bad for the bike.
Maybe it's just not time
to go hog wild.
Ah, there. Ah. (laughs)
(engine starts)
There we go. Wow.
Nothing like the sound
of a 1,200-cc engine
in the body
of an outlaw hog, uh? (laughs)
Hey, we gotta split, man!
The meth house is gonna blow!
I'm just kidding.
No, I'm not.
We gotta go, man, we gotta go!
Uh, Kenny, maybe we should
finish our transaction
so we can leave, and then
you can keep doing that?
Oh, yeah, yeah. Sorry. Sure.
I'll go get the money.
I'm leaving it running
because I love the sound.
And not because you're not
strong enough to start it again.
KENNY: Right!
(engine revs)
No! Stop!
What the...?
Where's my bike?
Preppy Pete just stole it!
(gasps) The stalker.
Well, great.
Now I can't trust stalkers.
See, that guy was stalking us.
This stinks!
This sucks! Language!
Oh, God, I have to tell Critter
that someone stole his bike.
The bike that was gonna
get him out of jail
and put his life
on the right track.
Would it be rude if
I just texted him that?
No, I should call.
You're gonna call the butt phone?
Yes, Tina, and please
stop saying "butt phone."
Can I have one more?
Okay, one more.
Butt phone. Actually, wait,
can I save it for later?
Fine.
Yes...
Hi. Can I, uh,
please speak with Critter?
Hold, please.
Hey, Bob, are you here?
You got the money?
Hey, I talked to Candace.
Um...
Thanks for taking care
of Sidecar.
He's a sweet little fella.
'Less he doesn't get a nap.
Then he gets extremely violent
and he just starts swingin'.
Takes after his mother.
Uh, listen, Critter, um,
someone, uh, kind of...
stole your motorcycle.
Bob, I sincerely hope
you didn't say
what I think you just said.
Someone stalked us and stole it!
He was wearing fancy pants!
Whoa, whoa, hold-hold on.
Did Gene just say "fancy pants"?
Yeah, he did have nice pants.
Loafers?
Yeah.
Socks or no socks?
Um... no socks?
That sounds like Carl.
Carl?
Yeah, I called Carl first,
before Kenny.
He's another nerdy finance guy
who collects outlaw biker stuff.
Another one?!
What's with these guys?
I don't know.
I kind of get it.
They're trapped
in a world of numbers,
but their lives don't add up.
All bills, no thrills.
Breaks your heart, really.
Carl tried to lowball me,
so I told him I was gonna
sell to somebody else.
That no-socks son of a bitch
must've been pissed off
enough to steal it.
Well, should we call the police?
Whoa! No, no, no, no,
no, no, no. No po po.
This bike has some stolen
qualities, remember?
Right, right, right.
Bob, I'm supposed to start work
in a few hours.
I don't want to put pressure
on you, but this is
my entire life in your hands.
I know, I know.
You've got to find Carl Lumpkin
and get my motorcycle back.
How am I supposed
to find Carl Lumpkin?
Oh, I know Carl Lumpkin.
You do? Oh, yeah sure.
We play squash.
He stole your bike.
He did what?!
Oh, that is classic Carl.
He also cheats at squash.
Is that Kenny?
Yeah. Kenny knows Carl.
Put him on.
He wants to talk to you.
Oh, boy.
Um, how do I look?
Amazing.
This is Kenny.
You know where
Carl Lumpkin lives?
Why, are you gonna kill him?
No, you are.
No, I'm just yankin' your chain.
(laughs nervously)
I gotcha. I gotcha.
You got me so... so good. Ah.
Now, what you're gonna do is you're
gonna go to his house... Uh-huh, yes.
get your bike...
Uh-huh.
...and give my money to Bob.
Okay. Okay, cool plan. Yeah.
Put Bob back on.
Really enjoyed talking to you.
Bob, listen, if Carl
gives you any trouble,
you're the muscle.
Be tough.
Um. H-How do I do that?
Intimidate him.
Make a threat.
Maybe something
in the stabbing department.
Ever stab anybody?
No.
Well, don't tell him that.
(phone beeps)
Ooh, Bob, got to go.
You don't get a lot of minutes
on these prepaid
cavity phones. Go get 'em.
Please tell me he told you
we had to stab somebody.
He did.
Yes!
Let's get stabby, Flabby!
Ow.
Look at 'em.
Might be too many baby cooks
in the baby kitchen, right?
(chuckles) Yeah, if you can't
stand the baby heat...
get out of the baby kitchen.
Get out of the baby oven.
It's oven.
(phone rings)
Oh. Oh, it's my husband.
Hi, babe. We're gonna
be a little late, I think.
Simon's still awake.
I'm trying to tire him out.
Who's Simon?
(whispers): Sidecar.
I'm at Hot Totties
with some fun young moms
and they think Sidecar's my son.
And he called me Mama.
And I call him Simon.
And we're just going with it.
Okay. Well,
Critter's bike got stolen
and I'm supposed to threaten
to stab this guy. So we're
gonna be a little late, too.
Huh. Well, I guess
my day's going a little better
than yours... Oh! Oh!
Oh!
Oh, God. He's throwing fake
food everywhere. (yelling)
Oh. Right.
They said he gets violent
if he doesn't nap, so...
good luck with that.
Ooh!
Linda?
Bob, I got to go.
The other moms are watching.
Ow, ow. Oh!
(yelling)
LOUISE: Remember, Dad,
your biker name is Mustache Manny
and you once
ate somebody's eyebrows
for looking at you funny.
And you hate cilantro.
Give me a Mustache Manny face.
(growling)
Chills.
Yeah. Oh, yeah.
Look at you, Dad.
You're having fun, aren't you?
No. Just trying to get into
character. (man vrooming)
Wait, wait, shh, shh.
Do you hear that?
MAN: You look at my bike again
and you're dead meat.
It's coming from the backyard.
Yeah, I don't play by the rules.
(imitates revving engine)
Carl!
Uh-oh.
Hi. Uh, can I help you?
Oh, hey, Kenny.
Carl.
Super-duper cool to see you, bud.
Uh, I cannot hang out right now.
I've got something on the stove,
and I don't want it to burn.
Oh what a coincidence, 'cause
you know what else is burning?
Your pants,
because you're a liar!
And that jacket
looks ridiculous on you.
I-I've gotten
a lot of compliments. Bye.
Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah.
Carl, we know you have
Critter's bike in there.
Give it back. Now.
Or I'm gonna eat your eyebrows.
What?
I mean, I'm gonna st...
I'll stab you.
What Mustache Manny
the dangerous outlaw biker
is trying to say
is hand over the bike, pal.
Uh, I don't know what bike
you guys are talking about.
Oh, yeah? Then what's
the motorcycle shaped-lump
in your backyard?
Eh, that's not a motorcycle.
Oh, it's not? What is it then?
My, uh... horse?
TINA: Go on.
That is my outlaw hog!
Hey!
Aha!
Where'd my horse go?
Butterscotch.
Butterscotch.
(grunts)
That's how you do it, Kenny. No!
Get off, get off! Get...
You're squishing my face!
Get off me. Get off!
Don't! Stop it! Ge...
Oh, my God.
Ge... Don't do that! Aah! Stop it.
Aah! Oh!
Again, again!
Are you guys okay?
Yeah. Just tell me one thing.
Did I look cool?
I think you know
the answer to that.
(distorted roaring)
(distorted):
(chuckling) He's fine.
He's okay.
You're okay.
Aah!
Oh, God. Oh, my God.
This is bad.
And we're running out of time.
Kenny, you've gotta give us
the money. We gotta go.
No, I'm not buying
a damaged bike.
But you damaged it.
You know what? Carl really
seems to want it and I'm gonna
step back and graciously
allow him to have it.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
You should have it.
You-you look really good on it.
No, you know what, it really goes,
You look...
no, it goes great with your whole
backyard tarp thing you've
got going on here, so...
Hey, should we just
forget this whole thing,
and take it out on the squash court?
Yes.
Squash it out!
Listen!
Somebody's fixing
and buying this bike,
and we're getting
Critter out of jail!
I nominate Carl or you.
I second you.
I third.
Oh, my God.
Dad, quick sidebar.
I know who can fix it...
the One Eyed Snakes.
Louise, we can't go
to the One Eyed Snakes.
We don't really
have a choice here.
If these squares
aren't gonna pay to fix it,
the One Eyed Snakes
are our only hope.
Fine.
Kenny, if the One Eyed Snakes
are willing
to fix the motorcycle,
would you buy it then?
Do I get to meet them?
Yes.
Yes!
Well, now I want it.
Well, except that I want it.
Well, I want it, though.
No, I want it.
BOTH: I want it!
I want it! I want it!
Stop! Stop!
I want it!
Kenny, you come with us.
Carl, go back inside
and don't steal things.
You're not my mom.
What if he is?
All right, let's roll this bike
to the One Eyed Snakes.
Wait, I just want to say
good-bye to Butterscotch.
Butterscotch isn't real.
Right, right, right, right.
Bye, Butterscotch, just in case!
(One Eyed Snakes clamoring,
fists thudding, loud crashing)
Uh, maybe you kids
should wait out here.
Uh-uh, we started this together.
We're ending it together.
Yeah, like when we got
that 15-foot party sub.
All right, fine,
just stay near me.
That goes for you, too, Kenny.
Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
Hold-hold up, you want us
to help fix Critter's bike,
so you can sell it to Wolf
of Wall Street over here?
Kenny, hi.
No one introduced us. Big fan.
(growls) (chuckling)
Kenny, Kenny? Kenny?
I'm sorry, got nervous.
Not now, not now.
Laugh when I'm nervous.
But don't you want to help
get Critter out of jail?
No.
Critter hasn't talked to us in weeks.
Yeah, yeah,
and when we do see him,
he looks sleepy,
and he just feels
like he's never present with me.
Yeah, he hardly wants any meth.
But he has to get out of jail.
He's starting his new job today
at What the Tech.
What? Oh, God,
see this is what I'm talking about.
Are you kidding me?
I know!
Oh, wait, I-I don't think
I was supposed
to tell anyone that.
Loose lips, wide hips.
Listen, Bob, it's
not gonna happen.
Wheel that out of here.
Before you kick us out,
could I just get a couple
of selfies with you guys?
Okay, just don't
get my double chin.
Well, then you, I hold
the camera up like this, look.
Yeah, you hold it up.
See, and gooseneck.
And click.
(frantic humming)
♪ Sleepity-deedy. ♪
(gasps)
I did it!
I freakin' did it!
He's asleep.
Ooh, Bethany, you're bleeding.
Oh, yeah, just a little.
(chuckles)
But Jacob was
throwing stuff, too, right?
Oh, it was a whirlwind.
No, it was mostly Simon.
Jacob was just covering himself.
He learned the word help today.
Help.
(shushes) Jacob, shush, shush.
Please don't shush my son.
Okay, look, you know,
so Sidecar got a little crazy.
They said he would be hard
to put down and it's true.
Who's "they"?
Yeah, and who's Sidecar?
Who said that?
What's going on?
I, uh, okay, okay, okay, yes.
I-I renamed this kid Simon
and I told you he was my son.
He's not your son?
Let me clarify.
I did not kidnap him, okay?
His father's in jail
and his mother's in the woods.
I mean, she's alive!
She's fine!
I'm just gonna
make a quick call.
No, no, no, no, no, no!
No phone!
Oh, look at that...
Jacob's getting into preschool!
(gasps) What? Where? Which one?
(shushing rapidly)
Delete, delete, delete.
Oh, wait, wait,
wait, wait, wait!
I like that one.
Send me that one.
Send it to me, too.
Looking at us laughing together.
Guys, will you please just
tell Kenny you'll fix the bike,
so he'll give me the money?
Bob, I said no.
We clearly don't mean
anything to Critter,
so he doesn't
mean anything to us.
Of course you guys
mean something to him.
You know what?
I'll bet he misses
raising hell
with all of you, uh...
Lovable scamps?
Right, so why don't you
try to meet him in the middle?
What do you mean?
Well, like, maybe you could
wake up early with Critter
and raise hell
before he has
to go to work or...
after work,
but before Sidecar's bedtime.
Like, commit a crime
or whatever you like to do.
Crime.
Right.
So you do that before bedtime,
right, guys?
I do my crimes before bedtime.
Tuckers me right out.
Ah, I guess we can be
a little more tolerant
of Critter's situation.
And other races.
Also, for the record,
having kids isn't that bad.
I mean, I've spent all day
doing this extremely
inconvenient favor for Critter,
but being with my kids
actually made it kind of fun.
Aw, that's-that's nice.
Aw!
You're welcome!
Ha-ha, you like your kids.
So, the motorcycle...
fix it, please?
Yeah, we'll-we'll fix it up.
And then you can sell it
to this square over here.
(chuckles) It's Kenny.
Or whatever you want.
Hey, you guys on LinkedIn?
LOUISE: Aw, Kenny...
ICE PICK: Yeah, I am.
BIKER 1: Me, too.
BIKER 2: Yeah, me, too.
You sure you want
to work today, Dad?
'Cause we could find another
biker to get out of jail.
Like a naughty unicyclist.
No, I think I'm good.
Look.
It's Critter and Mudflap.
Oh, with my buddy Sidecar.
(door bell jingles)
Ugh! I can't
look at you like that.
I know.
I can't look at myself.
Yeah, at least
cut the sleeves off.
I tried... my manager's
a 19-year-old boy
named Randy,
and he reamed me for it.
GENE: Mm.
Well, it is what it is.
We wanted to bring you
a thank-you gift
for helping me out yesterday.
It's a phone charger
from What the Tech.
It might be broken.
It was in the discount bin.
This is a printer.
It's not a...
Phone chargers are, like,
really small, but thanks.
Damn, where were you yesterday
when I was in training?
And I brought you this from
my Women of the Wild Weekend.
It's a pine cone.
Aw...
Give it!
Well, we got to go.
Uh, we got to meet
the Snakes back at headquarters.
We got a nursing student
coming by to teach, uh,
infant CPR class to the club.
She's also gonna sell
us a bunch of OxyContin.
That's, um, uh, huh.
Well, I'm glad things
are better between you guys.
Yeah, me, too, Bob, me, too.
And, Linda, you got Sidecar
to nap yesterday!
I did!
Incredible.
Question...
will you watch him next
weekend while we drive up
to Laconia, New Hampshire,
for Bike Week
and go absolutely nuts?
Uh, no.
Please?
Please?
No, no, no, no.
Worth a shot.
I could do it.
Hi, Sidecar...
No, Tina, no!
♪ Talkin' on a butt phone ♪
♪ On a butt phone ♪
♪ Talkin' on a butt phone ♪
♪ On a butt phone ♪
♪ Talkin' on a butt phone ♪
♪ On a butt phone ♪
♪ Talkin' on a butt phone ♪
♪ On a butt phone... ♪
(rock melody continues)
♪ ♪
♪ Talkin' on a butt phone ♪
♪ On a butt phone ♪
♪ Talkin' on a butt phone ♪
♪ On a butt phone! ♪
Someone needs to stop Clearway Law.
Public shouldn't leave reviews for lawyers.
Public shouldn't leave reviews for lawyers.
LINDA: Who wants
Mommy's Famous Pancakes
with a chocolate chip
happy face on 'em?
I don't get why they're so happy.
They're about to be eaten.
And then worse.
I kind of want to slap
the smile off him.
Aw. When you guys were little,
you loved Mr. Flapjack.
Now you're just
a bunch of pancake poopers.
(phone buzzes) Dad, get it!
It could be the president
of breakfast calling
to congratulate us.
Hello?
Bob, it's me, Critter.
Oh, hey, Critter.
Hey, Critter! Hi, Critter.
Hey! Hi, Critter!
So, how are you?
Oh, can't complain, except
for the fact that I'm in jail.
You're in jail?
Critter got pinched.
What happened?
Uh, it's silly, really.
I got stopped
for a broken taillight,
and it turns out I owed $9,000
in unpaid parking tickets.
Wow, that's a lot
of unpaid parking tickets.
Bob, I'm in an outlaw
motorcycle club.
We don't pay parking tickets.
In fact, we make kind of
a whole big thing
about throwing 'em out.
♪ ♪
(whooping)
Yeah! Yeah! Mmm!
But I got to pay off this fine
and get out of jail.
That's where you come in.
W-Wait, wait. You want me
to help you get out of jail?
Jailbreak!
Tell him we're in.
I'll put on a dress
and distract the guard!
Yoo-hoo!
Just practicing.
Listen, Bob, I need you
to sell my bike for me
so I can pay off this fine
and get out of here.
Can't you call Mudflap?
No, Mudflap's
on a wilderness retreat
called "Women of the Wild."
They teach you
how to survive in the woods...
which dirt's edible, how to
confuse a bear, stuff like that.
Oh. Who's watching your baby?
Sidecar's with the sitter.
Look, I got a buyer lined up.
He'll give you ten grand for it.
That'll cover my fine.
Oh, I-I can't really
help you sell a motorcycle
that's probably...
stolen, I'm assuming.
GENE: Narc!
Bob, the bike's not stolen.
It's made from stolen parts.
Once you put them all together,
it's a brand-new bike. Hmm.
Here's what you got to do.
Go to my apartment,
get my bike, go to the buyer.
Another outlaw biker guy?
No, no, no, no, an investment
banker guy named Kenny.
He's super straight-laced,
kind of a big nerd,
but he thinks this biker stuff
will make him cool.
So when you drop off the bike,
make him feel cool.
He'll give you the money,
you pay my fine,
I get out of jail, we high five.
Critter, I really wish we could
help, but... (phone beeping)
Bob, my phone time's up.
I need a yes or no answer here.
No? Damn it! I don't know
why I gave you that option.
LOUISE:
So, let me get this straight.
Critter asked you for help,
and you told him to rot in jail?
Louise, that's not what
happened... exactly.
I just hope
when we call you from jail,
you'll help us out.
Yeah.
Of course we will!
And bring us a cake with
a smaller cake smuggled inside it!
So, we could stay here
at our boring restaurant
all day,
or we could help an outlaw biker
sell his motorcycle.
This is a no-brainer!
No.
Come on!
We never do fun activities
together!
This family is falling apart!
We're all just strangers
under the same roof.
Guys, selling
a probably stolen bike
isn't a fun family activity.
Going to the zoo is
a fun family activity.
Aw, I love the zoo.
So many animals.
Yeah, yeah.
(phone buzzing)
I don't know this number.
That's exciting.
Hello?
Bob, it's me again.
I'm talking on a butt phone.
What's a butt phone?
Well, it's a cell phone
somebody smuggled in here
in an orifice of his body.
Oh, okay.
Come on, I'm desperate here.
You're the only one
I can ask for help.
Why don't you just ask
the One Eyed Snakes?
The biker gang
that you're the leader of?
(muffled): I'm kind of on
a break from the One Eyed Snakes.
What? I can't understand you.
(muffled): I'm on a break
from the One Eyed Snakes.
I still can't make out
what you're saying.
I'm on a break from
the One Eyed Snakes! MAN: Hey.
Oh. Really?
You left the One Eyed Snakes? What?!
Great. Now everybody
in jail knows.
I'm probably
gonna get picked last
for riots and stuff like that.
What-what happened?
I'm a dad now.
I-I can't go out
till 6:00 in the morning
and then get up
at 6:00 in the morning.
I get it. Everything changes
when you have kids.
I heard your penis
gets stretched out,
and it's never the same. Gene.
Also, I got a straight job
at What the Tech.
It's an electronic superstore.
Critter, that's great!
I know, I know, right thing,
blah, blah, blah.
But here's why I got to
get out of jail ASAP.
I start today at 4:00.
If I don't show up,
I don't have a job.
And if I don't have a job,
I can't provide for my family.
But I guess I could always
go back to robbing.
Oh, come on, Critter.
Looting.
Critter. Coming up with more
and more interesting ways
to sell crystal methamphetamine.
Critter.
But maybe you can live with
that; maybe I had you wrong.
(sighs)
Okay, fine, I'll help you.
Oh, thank you, Bob!
I'm eternally grateful!
See you soon.
Love you.
Bye. Love you, too.
What happened?
You love him?
Oh, I guess I'm gonna help
Critter sell his bike.
ALL: Yay!
Lin, will you and the kids
watch the restaurant?
I'm gonna go to Critter's.
ALL: No!
I know you guys want to go,
but Lin, someone has
to watch the restaurant.
I want to see the baby.
Come on, Dad.
It's either this or the zoo.
And nobody wants to go
to the zoo except Mom.
I love the zoo.
Fine.
I guess we're closing
the restaurant
so we can help sell
a mostly stolen bike.
Yay! Close the restaurant!
Baby!
Zoo!
Tina! Oh. Right. Bike!
Hi, baby! Boop, boop!
(phone chimes)
Critter just texted.
From the butt phone?
I'm waiting for a fart fax.
He said to look for his
garage key next to the skull.
Which skull?
There are, like, 20 of them.
This one's cool.
Hi. How are you?
I don't know, I just
have a headache.
So, Sidecar just ate,
and I have to go.
Wait. What?
No, no, no.
Critter didn't say anything
about watching the baby.
Well, I have an exam.
And the professor says
I have to start going to those.
It's okay.
I can watch the baby.
Lin, no, we...
Give me the baby.
Oh, I got the baby!
He needs his nap soon.
And he's a little...
difficult to put down.
And if he doesn't get
his nap, he's...
I don't want to say
a horrifying monster,
but, um, have you seen
that movie Monster?
Oh, I can put him down.
I have three kids.
I can still rock Gene to sleep.
Gene, come here.
No! Stay away, you sleep witch!
Aw. Okay,
so call if you need anything.
But also, don't call
because I'll be in my exam.
Found the key. I'm supposed
to take the motorcycle
to a guy named Kenny
on Water Street.
Great. How are we supposed to
get it all the way over there?
I'll drive it.
No, Louise.
I guess I'll roll it over.
(Louise grunting)
That's bad ass, Dad.
You know what?
(Sidecar jabbers)
I'm just gonna put him
in the stroller,
walk around the block, and I bet
he falls asleep right away.
He just needs
an experienced mom.
Come on, baby.
Ooh, the baby. (laughs)
(laughs)
I'm killin' it with this kid.
I'm glad Mom has
someone else to smother
so I can finally grow up and...
Ooh! Rattle!
Shake, shake, shake!
Whoa!
Ah!
Oh, whoops,
you got away from me! Huh!
I got you back. You're safe.
(Sidecar jabbers gently)
♪ Sidecar thinks
I'm a fun Mommy... ♪
Sidecar, do you like your name?
(jabbering)
Oh, no. Yeah, I like it, too.
It's really... pretty.
Oh, Hot Totties!
I used to take the kids here
when they were babies. Hmm.
You're supposed
to be napping right now.
But you know what would be good?
To go in there
and get you tired out.
You want to go in?
Just look at me and say nothing
if you want to go in.
(jabbers)
I-I said say nothing.
(jabbering)
Say nothing.
All right, great,
we're going in.
(Bob grunting with effort)
This bike doesn't sound well.
Yeah, it doesn't
handle well, either.
You know, you guys are
making this much harder.
GENE:
And it kind of has an attitude.
Hey, that guy keeps
turning when we turn.
He's wearing loafers.
You know what that means.
He's got pennies.
TINA: Maybe he should use them
to buy socks. Am I right?
(grunting)
Let's see
if Preppy Pete turns, too.
LOUISE (gasps):
He is following us!
No, he's not, Louise.
He's just coincidentally turning
when we turn.
Maybe he's never seen a man's
back sweat as much as yours.
My back's not...
Oh, my God, it is.
Mm-hmm.
(jabbering)
Aw! That's nice.
They get along, don't they?
Yeah. They're baby buddies.
What's this one's name?
Sidecar.
What?
Si... Simon.
Simon. Says.
Well, that's a nice name.
Thank you!
This is Jacob.
Hi, Jacob!
I'm Linda.
And I'm Bethany.
Mama.
Hey, he called me Mama!
He's never... done that before?
Ah... no!
Well, this is a special moment!
(jabbers)
Yeah, it sure is, because,
uh, I-I'm Simon's mama!
Yeah.
Mm-hmm.
♪ Me and Simon. ♪
Gettin' through
the world together, huh?
Just us... two.
Yeah.
Right now,
till we go home later.
Are you married?
Yeah. No, yeah.
(door buzzer sounds)
Well, this is the address.
(Tina and Gene grunt)
Looks like we lost our stalker.
Louise, no one is stalking us.
Yeah, 'cause we lost him.
Are you Bob? Uh, yeah.
Kenny, right?
Critter's bike. Wow.
You guys don't look
like One Eyed Snakes.
How dare you.
You don't look like a Kenny.
Yeah, you look like an Ethan
or a Chad.
Nice jacket.
A lot of zippers.
Not too many, right?
No, no, no, no.
Wait, are you being sarcastic?
'Cause I'm really sensitive
right now. I just bought this.
Give us a twirl.
♪ Twirling. ♪ (whistles)
Okay, let's fire her up,
but not without my mandana.
Uh, okay. Yeah.
Time to go hog wild.
(grunts)
Time to go...
(grunting)
Okay, time to go... (grunt)
Hmm. Okay, time to... (grunts)
Hog. Time to go...
Let's try that again. Ready?
Time to go ho... Ow!
Time to go, oh, hog.
That's not it.
I'm starting to feel
bad for the bike.
Maybe it's just not time
to go hog wild.
Ah, there. Ah. (laughs)
(engine starts)
There we go. Wow.
Nothing like the sound
of a 1,200-cc engine
in the body
of an outlaw hog, uh? (laughs)
Hey, we gotta split, man!
The meth house is gonna blow!
I'm just kidding.
No, I'm not.
We gotta go, man, we gotta go!
Uh, Kenny, maybe we should
finish our transaction
so we can leave, and then
you can keep doing that?
Oh, yeah, yeah. Sorry. Sure.
I'll go get the money.
I'm leaving it running
because I love the sound.
And not because you're not
strong enough to start it again.
KENNY: Right!
(engine revs)
No! Stop!
What the...?
Where's my bike?
Preppy Pete just stole it!
(gasps) The stalker.
Well, great.
Now I can't trust stalkers.
See, that guy was stalking us.
This stinks!
This sucks! Language!
Oh, God, I have to tell Critter
that someone stole his bike.
The bike that was gonna
get him out of jail
and put his life
on the right track.
Would it be rude if
I just texted him that?
No, I should call.
You're gonna call the butt phone?
Yes, Tina, and please
stop saying "butt phone."
Can I have one more?
Okay, one more.
Butt phone. Actually, wait,
can I save it for later?
Fine.
Yes...
Hi. Can I, uh,
please speak with Critter?
Hold, please.
Hey, Bob, are you here?
You got the money?
Hey, I talked to Candace.
Um...
Thanks for taking care
of Sidecar.
He's a sweet little fella.
'Less he doesn't get a nap.
Then he gets extremely violent
and he just starts swingin'.
Takes after his mother.
Uh, listen, Critter, um,
someone, uh, kind of...
stole your motorcycle.
Bob, I sincerely hope
you didn't say
what I think you just said.
Someone stalked us and stole it!
He was wearing fancy pants!
Whoa, whoa, hold-hold on.
Did Gene just say "fancy pants"?
Yeah, he did have nice pants.
Loafers?
Yeah.
Socks or no socks?
Um... no socks?
That sounds like Carl.
Carl?
Yeah, I called Carl first,
before Kenny.
He's another nerdy finance guy
who collects outlaw biker stuff.
Another one?!
What's with these guys?
I don't know.
I kind of get it.
They're trapped
in a world of numbers,
but their lives don't add up.
All bills, no thrills.
Breaks your heart, really.
Carl tried to lowball me,
so I told him I was gonna
sell to somebody else.
That no-socks son of a bitch
must've been pissed off
enough to steal it.
Well, should we call the police?
Whoa! No, no, no, no,
no, no, no. No po po.
This bike has some stolen
qualities, remember?
Right, right, right.
Bob, I'm supposed to start work
in a few hours.
I don't want to put pressure
on you, but this is
my entire life in your hands.
I know, I know.
You've got to find Carl Lumpkin
and get my motorcycle back.
How am I supposed
to find Carl Lumpkin?
Oh, I know Carl Lumpkin.
You do? Oh, yeah sure.
We play squash.
He stole your bike.
He did what?!
Oh, that is classic Carl.
He also cheats at squash.
Is that Kenny?
Yeah. Kenny knows Carl.
Put him on.
He wants to talk to you.
Oh, boy.
Um, how do I look?
Amazing.
This is Kenny.
You know where
Carl Lumpkin lives?
Why, are you gonna kill him?
No, you are.
No, I'm just yankin' your chain.
(laughs nervously)
I gotcha. I gotcha.
You got me so... so good. Ah.
Now, what you're gonna do is you're
gonna go to his house... Uh-huh, yes.
get your bike...
Uh-huh.
...and give my money to Bob.
Okay. Okay, cool plan. Yeah.
Put Bob back on.
Really enjoyed talking to you.
Bob, listen, if Carl
gives you any trouble,
you're the muscle.
Be tough.
Um. H-How do I do that?
Intimidate him.
Make a threat.
Maybe something
in the stabbing department.
Ever stab anybody?
No.
Well, don't tell him that.
(phone beeps)
Ooh, Bob, got to go.
You don't get a lot of minutes
on these prepaid
cavity phones. Go get 'em.
Please tell me he told you
we had to stab somebody.
He did.
Yes!
Let's get stabby, Flabby!
Ow.
Look at 'em.
Might be too many baby cooks
in the baby kitchen, right?
(chuckles) Yeah, if you can't
stand the baby heat...
get out of the baby kitchen.
Get out of the baby oven.
It's oven.
(phone rings)
Oh. Oh, it's my husband.
Hi, babe. We're gonna
be a little late, I think.
Simon's still awake.
I'm trying to tire him out.
Who's Simon?
(whispers): Sidecar.
I'm at Hot Totties
with some fun young moms
and they think Sidecar's my son.
And he called me Mama.
And I call him Simon.
And we're just going with it.
Okay. Well,
Critter's bike got stolen
and I'm supposed to threaten
to stab this guy. So we're
gonna be a little late, too.
Huh. Well, I guess
my day's going a little better
than yours... Oh! Oh!
Oh!
Oh, God. He's throwing fake
food everywhere. (yelling)
Oh. Right.
They said he gets violent
if he doesn't nap, so...
good luck with that.
Ooh!
Linda?
Bob, I got to go.
The other moms are watching.
Ow, ow. Oh!
(yelling)
LOUISE: Remember, Dad,
your biker name is Mustache Manny
and you once
ate somebody's eyebrows
for looking at you funny.
And you hate cilantro.
Give me a Mustache Manny face.
(growling)
Chills.
Yeah. Oh, yeah.
Look at you, Dad.
You're having fun, aren't you?
No. Just trying to get into
character. (man vrooming)
Wait, wait, shh, shh.
Do you hear that?
MAN: You look at my bike again
and you're dead meat.
It's coming from the backyard.
Yeah, I don't play by the rules.
(imitates revving engine)
Carl!
Uh-oh.
Hi. Uh, can I help you?
Oh, hey, Kenny.
Carl.
Super-duper cool to see you, bud.
Uh, I cannot hang out right now.
I've got something on the stove,
and I don't want it to burn.
Oh what a coincidence, 'cause
you know what else is burning?
Your pants,
because you're a liar!
And that jacket
looks ridiculous on you.
I-I've gotten
a lot of compliments. Bye.
Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah.
Carl, we know you have
Critter's bike in there.
Give it back. Now.
Or I'm gonna eat your eyebrows.
What?
I mean, I'm gonna st...
I'll stab you.
What Mustache Manny
the dangerous outlaw biker
is trying to say
is hand over the bike, pal.
Uh, I don't know what bike
you guys are talking about.
Oh, yeah? Then what's
the motorcycle shaped-lump
in your backyard?
Eh, that's not a motorcycle.
Oh, it's not? What is it then?
My, uh... horse?
TINA: Go on.
That is my outlaw hog!
Hey!
Aha!
Where'd my horse go?
Butterscotch.
Butterscotch.
(grunts)
That's how you do it, Kenny. No!
Get off, get off! Get...
You're squishing my face!
Get off me. Get off!
Don't! Stop it! Ge...
Oh, my God.
Ge... Don't do that! Aah! Stop it.
Aah! Oh!
Again, again!
Are you guys okay?
Yeah. Just tell me one thing.
Did I look cool?
I think you know
the answer to that.
(distorted roaring)
(distorted):
(chuckling) He's fine.
He's okay.
You're okay.
Aah!
Oh, God. Oh, my God.
This is bad.
And we're running out of time.
Kenny, you've gotta give us
the money. We gotta go.
No, I'm not buying
a damaged bike.
But you damaged it.
You know what? Carl really
seems to want it and I'm gonna
step back and graciously
allow him to have it.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
You should have it.
You-you look really good on it.
No, you know what, it really goes,
You look...
no, it goes great with your whole
backyard tarp thing you've
got going on here, so...
Hey, should we just
forget this whole thing,
and take it out on the squash court?
Yes.
Squash it out!
Listen!
Somebody's fixing
and buying this bike,
and we're getting
Critter out of jail!
I nominate Carl or you.
I second you.
I third.
Oh, my God.
Dad, quick sidebar.
I know who can fix it...
the One Eyed Snakes.
Louise, we can't go
to the One Eyed Snakes.
We don't really
have a choice here.
If these squares
aren't gonna pay to fix it,
the One Eyed Snakes
are our only hope.
Fine.
Kenny, if the One Eyed Snakes
are willing
to fix the motorcycle,
would you buy it then?
Do I get to meet them?
Yes.
Yes!
Well, now I want it.
Well, except that I want it.
Well, I want it, though.
No, I want it.
BOTH: I want it!
I want it! I want it!
Stop! Stop!
I want it!
Kenny, you come with us.
Carl, go back inside
and don't steal things.
You're not my mom.
What if he is?
All right, let's roll this bike
to the One Eyed Snakes.
Wait, I just want to say
good-bye to Butterscotch.
Butterscotch isn't real.
Right, right, right, right.
Bye, Butterscotch, just in case!
(One Eyed Snakes clamoring,
fists thudding, loud crashing)
Uh, maybe you kids
should wait out here.
Uh-uh, we started this together.
We're ending it together.
Yeah, like when we got
that 15-foot party sub.
All right, fine,
just stay near me.
That goes for you, too, Kenny.
Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
Hold-hold up, you want us
to help fix Critter's bike,
so you can sell it to Wolf
of Wall Street over here?
Kenny, hi.
No one introduced us. Big fan.
(growls) (chuckling)
Kenny, Kenny? Kenny?
I'm sorry, got nervous.
Not now, not now.
Laugh when I'm nervous.
But don't you want to help
get Critter out of jail?
No.
Critter hasn't talked to us in weeks.
Yeah, yeah,
and when we do see him,
he looks sleepy,
and he just feels
like he's never present with me.
Yeah, he hardly wants any meth.
But he has to get out of jail.
He's starting his new job today
at What the Tech.
What? Oh, God,
see this is what I'm talking about.
Are you kidding me?
I know!
Oh, wait, I-I don't think
I was supposed
to tell anyone that.
Loose lips, wide hips.
Listen, Bob, it's
not gonna happen.
Wheel that out of here.
Before you kick us out,
could I just get a couple
of selfies with you guys?
Okay, just don't
get my double chin.
Well, then you, I hold
the camera up like this, look.
Yeah, you hold it up.
See, and gooseneck.
And click.
(frantic humming)
♪ Sleepity-deedy. ♪
(gasps)
I did it!
I freakin' did it!
He's asleep.
Ooh, Bethany, you're bleeding.
Oh, yeah, just a little.
(chuckles)
But Jacob was
throwing stuff, too, right?
Oh, it was a whirlwind.
No, it was mostly Simon.
Jacob was just covering himself.
He learned the word help today.
Help.
(shushes) Jacob, shush, shush.
Please don't shush my son.
Okay, look, you know,
so Sidecar got a little crazy.
They said he would be hard
to put down and it's true.
Who's "they"?
Yeah, and who's Sidecar?
Who said that?
What's going on?
I, uh, okay, okay, okay, yes.
I-I renamed this kid Simon
and I told you he was my son.
He's not your son?
Let me clarify.
I did not kidnap him, okay?
His father's in jail
and his mother's in the woods.
I mean, she's alive!
She's fine!
I'm just gonna
make a quick call.
No, no, no, no, no, no!
No phone!
Oh, look at that...
Jacob's getting into preschool!
(gasps) What? Where? Which one?
(shushing rapidly)
Delete, delete, delete.
Oh, wait, wait,
wait, wait, wait!
I like that one.
Send me that one.
Send it to me, too.
Looking at us laughing together.
Guys, will you please just
tell Kenny you'll fix the bike,
so he'll give me the money?
Bob, I said no.
We clearly don't mean
anything to Critter,
so he doesn't
mean anything to us.
Of course you guys
mean something to him.
You know what?
I'll bet he misses
raising hell
with all of you, uh...
Lovable scamps?
Right, so why don't you
try to meet him in the middle?
What do you mean?
Well, like, maybe you could
wake up early with Critter
and raise hell
before he has
to go to work or...
after work,
but before Sidecar's bedtime.
Like, commit a crime
or whatever you like to do.
Crime.
Right.
So you do that before bedtime,
right, guys?
I do my crimes before bedtime.
Tuckers me right out.
Ah, I guess we can be
a little more tolerant
of Critter's situation.
And other races.
Also, for the record,
having kids isn't that bad.
I mean, I've spent all day
doing this extremely
inconvenient favor for Critter,
but being with my kids
actually made it kind of fun.
Aw, that's-that's nice.
Aw!
You're welcome!
Ha-ha, you like your kids.
So, the motorcycle...
fix it, please?
Yeah, we'll-we'll fix it up.
And then you can sell it
to this square over here.
(chuckles) It's Kenny.
Or whatever you want.
Hey, you guys on LinkedIn?
LOUISE: Aw, Kenny...
ICE PICK: Yeah, I am.
BIKER 1: Me, too.
BIKER 2: Yeah, me, too.
You sure you want
to work today, Dad?
'Cause we could find another
biker to get out of jail.
Like a naughty unicyclist.
No, I think I'm good.
Look.
It's Critter and Mudflap.
Oh, with my buddy Sidecar.
(door bell jingles)
Ugh! I can't
look at you like that.
I know.
I can't look at myself.
Yeah, at least
cut the sleeves off.
I tried... my manager's
a 19-year-old boy
named Randy,
and he reamed me for it.
GENE: Mm.
Well, it is what it is.
We wanted to bring you
a thank-you gift
for helping me out yesterday.
It's a phone charger
from What the Tech.
It might be broken.
It was in the discount bin.
This is a printer.
It's not a...
Phone chargers are, like,
really small, but thanks.
Damn, where were you yesterday
when I was in training?
And I brought you this from
my Women of the Wild Weekend.
It's a pine cone.
Aw...
Give it!
Well, we got to go.
Uh, we got to meet
the Snakes back at headquarters.
We got a nursing student
coming by to teach, uh,
infant CPR class to the club.
She's also gonna sell
us a bunch of OxyContin.
That's, um, uh, huh.
Well, I'm glad things
are better between you guys.
Yeah, me, too, Bob, me, too.
And, Linda, you got Sidecar
to nap yesterday!
I did!
Incredible.
Question...
will you watch him next
weekend while we drive up
to Laconia, New Hampshire,
for Bike Week
and go absolutely nuts?
Uh, no.
Please?
Please?
No, no, no, no.
Worth a shot.
I could do it.
Hi, Sidecar...
No, Tina, no!
♪ Talkin' on a butt phone ♪
♪ On a butt phone ♪
♪ Talkin' on a butt phone ♪
♪ On a butt phone ♪
♪ Talkin' on a butt phone ♪
♪ On a butt phone ♪
♪ Talkin' on a butt phone ♪
♪ On a butt phone... ♪
(rock melody continues)
♪ ♪
♪ Talkin' on a butt phone ♪
♪ On a butt phone ♪
♪ Talkin' on a butt phone ♪
♪ On a butt phone! ♪
Someone needs to stop Clearway Law.
Public shouldn't leave reviews for lawyers.